Sound of a Trembling Heart
by staceums
Summary: The real reason Seifer Almasy wasn't openly promoted to SeeD status. Post-FFVIII, after Ultimecia's defeat. A take on a Seifer-Quistis fic based loosely on a few elements from the movie "The Departed."
1. Prologue

**_Author's Note and Disclaimer:_** The characters in this fanfic belong to Square(Soft)-Enix and the makers of _Final Fantasy VIII._ The ideas are entirely my own but I'm sure others have thought of the same plots and written similar fics, but it was NOT my intention to plagiarize anyone in any way, shape, or form.

Please keep in mind that this is a fanfic. Feedback and constructive criticism is encouraged about my _**writing**_, however, not about my _**ideas**_. If you don't like what I put in here, don't ask me to change anything. You have the power to write about it yourself. And that doesn't mean by plagiarizing.

For more information, please visit my profile page.

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_**"I wanted to believe as I watched your world crumble in your hands...**_

_**I wanted to believe as you raised your glass to your last stand...**_

_**And I wanted to believe you would win the war in your head **_

_**That I did not understand..."**_

From the song_ "Suicide Note"_ by Johnette Napolitano

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_

**Prologue**

He propped himself up on his elbows and watched, horrified, as the gigantic spear of ice sliced right through Squall's upper torso. He wanted to yell, but no sound came out. He wanted to run Hyperion straight through Edea's backside, but he couldn't. Instead, he watched in dismayed silence as Squall let out a choked breath and blinked, stumbling backwards in shock. Rinoa screamed. And screamed again. And screamed again, as Squall slowly fell backwards. Blood had started to pool at his feet. Zell, Quistis, Irvine, and Selphie cried out to help him, but Galbadian soldiers had caught up to the fight and led them away in shackles. Edea grinned down at Seifer in triumph.

"_Take them," she had said._

_He simply masked his dread behind a blank stare, all emotions buried under the surface, even though they were boiling to the point of exploding out of him. Never had he forced himself to maintain such control, and although the situation presented him with more than one chance to burst forth and prove his worth by destroying Edea himself, he made Cid a promise. He'd bring Matron back – alive. What a fucked up situation. He'd been nothing but trouble in school and had failed the SeeD field exam countless times because of his disruptive behavior and lack of discipline. What he wouldn't fucking give to be disruptive and undisciplined towards the bitch now._

_But no._

_For once in his life, he'd see this through._

_Because five highly trained SeeDs - Squall, Zell, Quistis, Irvine, and Selphie - had failed to bring the sorceress down, Seifer had to continue with his undercover mission. Nobody was strong enough to take her, and if Seifer turned to help, it wouldn't have made a difference. Best to stay with the possessed Matron until she revealed more of her plans. Something would reveal itself. Somehow, he'd free his other comrades, even if they thought he was a traitor._

_He made Cid a promise._


	2. Homecoming

Squall leaned against the walls of the elevator with his arms crossed, glaring at nothing in particular. Zell was in the lift with him, cracking his knuckles and whistling a random tune.

_At least he's not punching anything._

Headmaster Cid had requested that they all meet in his office, but nobody really knew why. For Hyne's sake, it had only been three days since they returned, and they were all still woozy from time compression. Not to mention exhausted. Squall hadn't slept so much in his entire life. He couldn't remember the last time he had seen a clean, soft bed. Was it in Esthar?

The days in Garden had passed in a rush. So much to do, so little time. Laguna Loire in Esthar wanted to give them all medals and international recognition for eliminating the cause of what was now considered the Second Sorceress War. Reporters from Balamb constantly dropped by Garden, uninvited, to catch a glimpse of the SeeD "heroes." They were all busy rebuilding some of the damaged remnants of Garden's structure, and now that the Shumi were unceremoniously (and literally) kicked out, Cid and Xu were trying to set up alternative sources for monetary funding.

_Another day in the life, _Squall sighed.

There were already drastic changes, however. Matron was back, but remained hidden in Cid's quarters for the time being. Rinoa and Irvine were now extra members of Balamb and rooms had to be accommodated for them. They had all been promoted, save Rinoa, and were now the highest ranking SeeDs in Garden. Quistis had been offered a new instructing position and it was rumored that she'd start collaborating with Dr. Kadowaki on psychotherapy. Squall stole a glance at Zell, who was tapping his foot anxiously and biting his lip, crossing and un-crossing his arms.

_He should be their first patient. I'd like to see how he'd react to decaf._

At Cid's request, they'd all undergo mental evaluations due to the time compression event. And the effects from being in outer space. Oh, and the Lunar Cry disaster. Civil war against Gardens. Fighting against Seifer and the only mother they ever had…

Squall shook the thoughts from his head. _I can't believe we all made it out in one piece. _He glanced at Zell again, who was now shifting back and forth from one foot to the other, clenching and unclenching his fists, and rocking his head back and forth to loosen up, as if he were getting ready for a boxing match.

_Well…mostly in one piece._

The elevator doors chimed and they stepped out into the only hallway that led to Headmaster Cid's office. Selphie, Irvine, and Quistis were already waiting there for them.

"Slowpokes!" Selphie grinned.

"Sorry," Zell rubbed the back of his head. "I wanted to grab a few snacks before heading up. Cafeteria's out of hot dogs, though. I ran all the way there for nothing."

"Any idea what this is about?" Squall glanced at Quistis.

Quistis shook her head. "My only guess is that Cid wants us to reconcile with Matron."

"I wonder how he's going to…_reincorporate_…her into Garden," Irvine shoved his hands into the pockets of his trench coat. "Talk about awkward."

"Yeah," Selphie sighed. "Oh well! It's not her fault! I'm sure the students will understand!"

Zell and Irvine exchanged glances and shrugged. Quistis stepped up to Cid's office door and knocked lightly.

"Come in," came a muffled reply.

Quistis opened the door and they all stepped through. They dutifully lined up, side by side, in front of Cid's desk and saluted him in unison. He was already seated with his hands folded, grinning up at them. Xu was standing at his side.

"At ease," he told them. The SeeDs complied. Cid took off his glasses and slowly stood up. "I'm going to get right to the point. It hardly needs to be said that the five of you are the most exemplary, elite mercenary forces the world has ever seen. More so, you must from here on out set an example towards others. I will expect you to conduct yourselves with poise and treat others with the utmost respect; none of this _hero_ nonsense will go to your heads, understand?"

They all nodded.

_I knew it,_ Squall thought. _He wants to reintroduce Matron, and we're to treat her nicely. Either that, or we're going to get more chores. Why else would we be here?_

"We all know that your mission had spiraled out of control after the mishap in Timber, especially since there was limited communication between you and the Balamb base," Cid reminded them painfully. "But I also want to remind you that there were other forces at work, forces that were out of your hands and not to your knowledge. Someone else helped you in succeeding your mission."

_What the hell is he babbling about? We were there. We all knew what happened. Is he trying to put together some sort of posthumous SeeD accident report?_

"Before I explain anything to you, perhaps it will be better for you all to see for yourself." Cid turned to Xu and murmured, "Let him in."

The SeeDs exchanged confused glances as Xu walked over and opened a side door attached to the office, most likely leading to a sitting room. Without saying anything, she cocked her head and motioned for the person to follow her, then resumed her position next to Cid. Nothing could have prepared them for what was next.

Seifer Almasy entered the office, Hyperion sheathed at his side. He wasn't wearing his usual grey trench coat, but instead was surprisingly clothed in a black and gold SeeD uniform. Two small rows of different colored ribbons were pinned on his right chest, indicating his SeeD status. He took a spot next to Xu and glared forward at all of them, arms crossed.

"Wha-what the _hell_ is he doing here?!" Zell cried and balled his fists. "Why is he _dressed_ like that?!"

Selphie stepped back and let out a little squeak. Irvine tugged open the flap of his trench coat and revealed Exeter strapped at his side, and Squall automatically rested a palm on the hilt of his gunblade. Quistis remained absolutely rigid and kept her cold glare steady.

"Nice to see you too, Chicken-wuss," Seifer narrowed his eyes.

"I'LL FUCKIN' KILL YOU!" Zell screamed back. "TRAITOR!" He took a step forward but Irvine and Quistis grabbed his shoulders.

"_Zell Dincht!"_ Cid barked, lunging forward and slamming a palm on his desk. "Refrain from using such language and violence in my office!"

Zell gritted his teeth and raised his fists. "But…but, Headmaster - "

"Seifer Almasy is no traitor," Cid interrupted him. "Although you were led to believe otherwise, he was in fact part of a covert operation to uncover the sorceress Edea's whereabouts and expose her plans in order for the Gardens to collect intelligence and act accordingly."

The five SeeDs stared back at Cid as if he'd gone completely insane.

"That's impossible," Squall narrowed his eyes.

"He attacked us!" Selphie yelped.

"He nearly _killed_ us!" Zell growled.

"He imprisoned us and tortured Squall," Irvine pointed out.

Quistis remained silent. Seifer kept his arms crossed and glared at all of them, not amused, but stole a glance at her. She didn't meet his gaze, but kept her icy stare upon Cid, as if she were rigidly waiting for some sort of explanation.

_At least Trepe isn't so quick to feed me to the dogs. For once._

"He set off the missiles that destroyed Trabia!" Selphie cried.

"He threatened to kill Rinoa and gave her to Adel," Irivine added.

"He took control of Galbadia garden and attacked Balamb," Zell spat.

Cid raised a hand and waved it, urging them to calm down. "I know what he's done…"

"He activated the Lunatic Pandora," Irvine snapped angrily.

Squall glanced at Seifer as everyone else was shouting. Seifer met his gaze and glared back, but offered no invitation for a fight.

"Enough!" Xu interrupted all of them. "The Headmaster says that Seifer is no traitor. I can also confirm this. His status as a SeeD was to be kept highly confidential until his mission was completed, which was to successfully detain Edea and collect information on the sorceress. Because of his efforts, Dr. Odine of Esthar was able to put together enough research on Ultimecia, whom you've successfully annhiliated as a result."

The five SeeDs stared at Xu in surprise. Even Seifer glanced at her with an eyebrow raised.

_Hell has finally frozen over,_ he mused. _Xu is actually sticking up for my ass._

"Xu's right," Cid spoke up. "Although the undercover mission didn't go exactly as planned, it still worked to our advantage in the long run. Seifer made great sacrifices for all of us."

_I'm willing to bet a thousand-to-one he enjoyed electrocuting me in the D-district prison, though,_ Squall thought bitterly. _Asshole._

"So…lemme get this straight," Zell shifted his feet. "You're sayin' that Seifer was faking it the whole time? All the stuff that happened…was _supposed_ to happen? Like…he _accidentally_ tossed Rinoa to Adel and _accidentally_ caused time compression?"

"I'm right here, you know," Seifer curled a lip. "You can ask me."

"Not _supposed_ to happen, Zell," Cid cut in and interrupted another predictable outburst from Zell, "but rather occurred much like a domino effect that even Seifer could not control. Since Ultimecia had control over Edea, he had to play along until she finally released her."

"None of this makes sense," Squall interrupted quietly.

_No shit,_ Seifer agreed bitterly. His eyes darted to Quistis. She was staring at the floor and hadn't budged.

Cid nodded and sighed. "I know. It will be almost impossible to explain. I daresay it'll be easier hearing the story from Seifer himself."

Seifer glared at the Headmaster. _If I have to give them a fucking history lesson on my little excursion with the psycho sorceress bitch, I'm out of here._

Cid glanced over at Seifer. "But, seeing as how we've all endured – and inflicted – enough damage to last a lifetime, I'll give you all some space." He sat back down in his chair and examined them all. "Time to think it over, time to cope, and time to heal – you've only just come back, and I'm giving you a reprieve for now."

The SeeDs simply stared at him, their gazes darting back and forth from Cid to Xu to Seifer.

"There's no way he's one of us," Zell hissed.

"Please," an additional voice rung out and startled them all. She had entered the room from the other doorway, on the opposite side, that must have led to a bedroom. "Cid and Xu speak the truth. Seifer is no traitor to Garden."

The SeeDs all quieted in her presence. The gentle Matron walked up to Cid's left side and faced them, lacing her fingers together in a small plea. She wore a simple black skirt that hung to her ankles and a black sweater. Her plain, dark hair fell to her waist and she wore no makeup. She looked drastically different than the Edea they had fought only months ago.

"Seifer stayed with me, even when…when I wasn't myself," she added softly. "He helped me from drowning in my own despair. Please don't think ill of him. After all this time, he was just doing his duty."

Seifer averted Matron's gaze and stared at the floor instead, jawbones protruding from his cheeks. Even now, her presence gave him the creeps. Quistis finally glanced at him and noticed that he was truly bothered by it.

There was a long, uncomfortable pause. Nobody knew what to say. Seifer's actions had all been condoned by Cid, Edea, and even Xu. How could they possibly refute that? But it was still hard, almost impossible, to believe. Especially since they had all been on the receiving end of Seifer's gunblade and had to listen to his crazy rhetoric about being a "knight." Then again, Matron had attacked them as well, and she wasn't even in her right mind at the time.

They were all confused and on edge. Cid noticed.

"That is all for now," he sighed. "I just wanted to let you know about the current situation. Seifer Almasy is welcome in this Garden and he has been given a SeeD dormitory, as he had been promoted to SeeD status the same day of your SeeD field exam last summer."

Squall narrowed his eyes and examined Seifer's SeeD rank pinned to his coat more closely.

_Level 26?_

Seifer returned his stony glare with the tiniest smirk.

_That's right, Leonhart. What do you think about that?_

Even Zell was too confounded to speak. He opened and closed his mouth in silent protest like a fish out of water.

"Treat him with respect, as your equal," Cid warned them in a serious tone. "You are all SeeDs, therefore, you are all brothers and sisters. If I hear about you disturbing this peace by fighting one another, I will have no choice but to demote your SeeD rank. Do I make myself clear?"

They all straightened and replied in unison.

"Yes, sir."

"That includes you, Seifer," Cid turned his head towards him.

Seifer grinned but straightened his posture and stared straight ahead.

"Yes, Headmaster."

The five SeeDs stared at Seifer in shock. Did he just obey an order?

"Toto, we ain't in Kansas anymore," Irvine mumbled.

"You're all dismissed," Cid sat back in his chair and removed his glasses, pinching his nose. "Now, _please_ be civil to each other and refrain from any immature behavior. I'd like this Garden to get back to normal as soon as possible."

_With Seifer back, it'll be far from normal,_ Squall thought.

They all turned around and shuffled out. Xu and Seifer remained put, and Matron slowly retreated back into the bedroom to be alone.

"I'd say that went well," Seifer grumbled.

"Extremely. I'm surprised they didn't kill you on the spot," Xu replied.

"Disappointed?"

"A little."

"Both of you," Cid sighed, "are dismissed as well. I wish to speak with Miss Trepe alone."

Quistis, who had been the last to retreat out of the doorway, stopped short and turned around at the sound of her name.

"Sir?"

"Quistis, a word, if you please."

Quistis moved back to the front of the room, staring at a random spot on Cid's desk and avoiding eye contact with Seifer, who had kept his eyes on her the entire time as he passed her and followed Xu out the door. When it closed shut, she took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly, as if she finally had room to breathe. Her eyes darted up to Cid, who was watching her.

"You hadn't said a word of protest about Seifer's return," he pointed out quietly.

"I wanted to hear all sides of the argument, sir," she replied.

"And…?"

"And…what, sir?"

"I would like to know your opinion on the matter."

"Sir, my opinion is irrelevant - "

"Despite appearances, Quistis, I believe that you were closer to Seifer than anyone else since the orphanage. Of course, you had your share of quarrels, but nobody really bothered to care to know him more than you did."

Quistis nearly snorted aloud. _Only because he went out of his way to royally piss me off at every point and turn._

"Therefore," Cid continued softly, "I value your opinion a great deal. I simply want to gauge your reaction according to the news that, in fact, Seifer Almasy was doing his job all along."

Quistis licked her lips and hesitated. What could she possibly say? Her mind had been whirring the moment Seifer stepped into the room.

"He hurt so many innocent people, Headmaster," she finally replied, "including us. How can we possibly believe that he was doing his job? He targeted those missiles at Balamb and Trabia - "

"He didn't set the targets," Cid reminded her. "The Sorceress did."

"Even so, why didn't he stop it?"

"His cover would have been blown, and we would have lost our lead on Ultimecia."

"But…but…" Quistis shook her head. "Hundreds _died!"_

"Don't you think that weighs on Seifer's conscience every waking moment of his life?" Cid asked her gently. "Don't you think that if he would have gone against his orders to stop the sorceress's onslaught, hundreds more would have died? He couldn't take her down by himself. Seifer knew this. He knew that if you couldn't do it, neither could he, and so he had to keep up the visage in order to put an end to her tyranny. If anyone should be blamed, it should be me. I'm the one who put Seifer up to all of it. I put you all in danger as well."

It was skewed logic, but logic nonetheless. The Headmaster knew Quistis always listened to logic. When put into perspective, in fact, Quistis began to understand Cid's point. Nobody had really considered what Seifer had to say about the whole thing. He had gone through hell and back to save all their asses. Did anyone even care? She stared at the floor, suddenly reminded of Rinoa's screams and Squall's blood.

"_Take them," Edea had said._

"_Squall! Squall!" Zell was yelling out loud, in a frenzy, punching off Galbadian soldiers and rushing to his friend's aid. "Hyne, he's bleeding all over the place! GET OFF ME! LET GO!"_

_Rinoa screamed again and cried as two Galbadian soldiers dragged her away._

"_Hang in there, buddy!" Irvine shouted. "Squall! Squall, can you hear us?"_

"_Squall! Noooo!" Selphie's screams echoed out along with Rinoa's, until everything melded together into one bloodcurdling noise that didn't make any sense. She reached out to try to heal him, but Galbadian soldiers snatched her wrists and bound them into anti-magic cuffs._

_It was as if everything was in slow motion. Everyone's screams and yells echoed out into the dark night and the world had started to sway. Quistis stared at her fallen comrade in horror and was about to step forward when heavy, gloved hands clapped on her shoulder to pull her away. She looked up at Edea, who was still standing on the parade float, smiling evilly, and then at Seifer, who looked sick to his stomach._

_Seifer…_

_He was still on the ground, battered and bruised from their fight. Blood dripped from a cut across his cheek and there were burn marks and black soot on his face and grey trench coat. He was propped up on his elbows, staring out at the scene in front of them, but he hadn't been pleased to see them in such a state as Edea had. Instead, his eyes were wide and his mouth was turned down into an angry frown. Quistis pulled away from the guards and took a step forward._

_Seifer…!_

_He glared up at Edea's backside, pure hatred flashing into his green eyes. He gripped Hyperion with renewed strength and slowly stood up, grimacing in pain._

_Edea started to laugh at them, the echoing, hideous cackle rising up into the air and filling their heads with an overwhelming sense of fear and dread. Quistis was inclined to cover her ears, but Galbadian soldiers had yanked her arms behind her to cuff them._

_Quistis gasped out loud and finally managed to cry out his name._

"_Seifer!"_

_He glanced at her and his hatred melted away into something else. She couldn't place it. They locked eyes as she was forcefully pulled away. Instead of loathing him like she thought she would, and instead of screaming out an angry threat, the words didn't come and she simply pleaded with him instead. Pleaded with her eyes._

_Save us._

_Seifer blinked, and his expression suddenly turned neutral. He held out a palm and Squall's body started to glow. Immediately, Edea swirled around and struck him._

"_Imbecile!" she screamed. "What are you doing? You foolish, foolish boy!"_

"_I want him alive," Seifer growled back. "I want him alive so I can torture him myself!"_

_Edea's snarl curled into a sadistic smile. "Very well then, my knight. Do as you please with him. Find out the true purpose of SeeD. Torture them all."_

_Seifer glanced back at Quistis, who was now horrified upon hearing the conversation._

"_Yes, Sorceress."_

_But he didn't. He didn't torture any of us. We found Squall passed out cold in the prison, but a Moomba had taken care of him. Why would Seifer leave a Moomba, of all creatures, hanging around Squall if he really wanted him dead? And we managed to escape relatively easily. I doubt Seifer would have left that to chance, either, if he was truly against us._

Quistis glanced at Cid and knew he was right. Seifer wasn't a traitor. She sighed and closed her eyes.

"Yes, Quistis," he nodded at her as he watched the realization sink in.

"Why didn't you tell us, Headmaster?"

"If you would have known, you would have gone easy on him. The Sorceress surely would have figured it out. That, and we couldn't risk any of you blowing his cover. Zell had already revealed enough at the Timber broadcasting station, unfortunately. Luckily, Seifer has an uncanny knack for molding things to his advantage."

_An understatement,_ Quistis thought. "But we all hated him! The students of Balamb Garden still hate him! Half the world still thinks he's a traitor!"

"Then we must defend him, mustn't we?" Cid replied with a small smile.

Quistis remained silent.

"In due time, their opinions of him will change," Cid reassured her. "Everyone is still recovering from the shock of the Second Sorceress War, Quistis. I'm already having a rough time convincing Trabia and Galbadia Gardens that Edea is no longer a threat. President Loire is doing everything he can on his end. For now, however, we'll have to lay low for awhile. I'm going to rely on you, Xu, and Squall to keep the situation under control. When the students see Seifer roaming about Garden, I'm sure the rumors will start flying."

Quistis swallowed and nodded. "Yes, Headmaster."

"I wanted to speak to you about something else," Cid opened up an agenda and flipped through the pages. "Since you've been promoted to instruct the students in their SeeD preparation courses, you've also agreed to assist Dr. Kadowaki in mental evaluations?"

Quistis nodded.

Cid smiled. "I trust nobody else could do a more perfect job."

"Dr. Kadowaki has to psychoanalyze me first," Quistis pointed out. "We've all been through…um…a lot."

"Of course," Cid replied. "But there's one student in particular I want you to work with. I think this will go a lot smoother than if Dr. Kadowaki tried to take him on herself."

Quistis's stomach immediately dropped and she was filled with utter dread.

_Don't say who I think you're going to say._

"I'd like you to analyze Seifer Almasy."

_Fuck. Shit. No. Anyone but him. He's a grab-bag of fubar. _

"Forgive me, Headmaster," she replied with a calm, steady voice, "but after everything Seifer's been through, wouldn't it be better for Dr. Kadowaki to do it?"

"I don't think Seifer would respond to her, quite honestly," Cid replied nonchalantly. "He needs to talk to someone who was there. He needs to relate to someone else that went through the same situation he did."

"With all due respect, sir, we were on opposite ends of the situation." _He tried to run a gunblade through my body,_ Quistis thought resentfully. _I slapped him with thundaga and blizzaga spells. Oh, sure. He'll be thrilled to speak to me. Especially since we were the ones who were actually attacking him. At least he was faking it._

"Don't be silly. You were on the same side, Quistis; you just didn't realize it until now."

Quistis refrained from rolling her eyes at him.

"Don't look so apprehensive," Cid chuckled. "Consider this a challenge."

_Give me Ultimecia,_ Quistis gritted her teeth. _Give me Griever. Don't give me Seifer. At least I got to kill the former two._

"Once you finish your own evaluation with Dr. Kadowaki, get yourself situated, relax a little bit, and then you can evaluate Seifer," Cid said as he scribbled on a page in the agenda. "I'm assuming it'll take a couple weeks for your visit with Kadowaki?"

"Probably," admitted Quistis. "Could be more, could be less."

_Depends on how screwed up I am from this whole ordeal._

"I'll give you a month," Cid nodded. "That way, Seifer will be able to get settled as well. He needs time to adjust, I'm sure. Afterwards, however, you are to report to me each week on his condition. If you find time to evaluate other students between visits, you may. Don't forget to check in with the doctor every now and then."

Quistis nodded again. "Yes, sir."

Cid nodded. "Very well, Quistis. I have faith in you. Now, make sure you get some much deserved rest. You've earned it."

Quistis nodded and turned to leave the room, wondering if she finally bit off more than she could chew.


	3. The Mission

_**

* * *

**_

_**"Now the day has come, we are forsaken**_

_**There's no time anymore**_

_**Life will pass us by, we are forsaken**_

_**We're the last of our kind..."**_

_"Forsaken"_ by Within Temptation

* * *

**_The Mission_**

"_Seifer," Cid started, "I know my timing is a little unorthodox, but I have an unusual request."_

_Seifer crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. "Lemme guess…I've gotta re-take the SeeD field exam for the hundredth fucking time and if I fail, I scrub the toilets - "_

"_Please don't use that language in my office, Seifer."_

_Cid wasn't known to ever raise his voice. Nevertheless, he had the ability to change his tone, which worked just as good. Even with Seifer. It was enough to shut him up._

"_Xu and Quistis gave me their reports today, and although there was a unanimous decision to withhold you again from SeeD status, I reviewed your progress thoroughly and came to the conclusion that there is really only one thing I can do with you."_

_Great, Seifer thought. He's finally going to kick me out. This is it. I've pushed and pushed and he's finally going to crack and toss me out of Garden. So much for the forgiving father figure._

"_I'm promoting you to SeeD, Seifer."_

_Seifer furrowed his brows and blinked at him, not quite sure he heard Cid right._

"_What?"_

"_Your conduct and self-control needs work, but for now, it'll do for the mission I'm about to send you on."_

_Seifer grinned and shook his head. "I'm sorry, Headmaster, I thought I just heard you say - "_

"_You heard correctly, Seifer. You're a SeeD. Congratulations."_

_Seifer stared at him. Cid returned his stare with a grim look and gave him a short nod. After all the SeeD field exams he'd taken, he really didn't do anything that much different to have gained SeeD status…_

"_Today in Dollet, you had ignored a direct order to retreat and instead investigated further the reason why Galbadian soldiers were invading the region," Cid lifted up a clipboard and put on his glasses, reading the report._

_Seifer put his hands behind his back and stared at the ground. "Yes, sir."_

"_You, along with Squall, Zell, and Selphie claim that the Galbadians had activated a large satellite capable of broadcasting some sort of signal from the Dollet mountains."_

_Who the fuck was Selphie? The messenger girl? "Yes, sir."_

"_Had it not been for your blatant disregard for orders, we would not have known about the satellite."_

_Seifer glanced at Cid. "Er…yes, sir?"_

"_Yet, as designated Captain, you left your team alone to investigate on your own, am I right?"_

_Seifer looked down again. "Yes, sir."_

_Cid set the clipboard down onto his desk, leaned against the edge, removed his glasses, and sighed. "I know you like to work alone, Seifer. I know, perhaps more than most, that you think relying on others will only get you killed, and you'd rather trust your own instincts than trust the judgment of others."_

_If I had to trust the judgment of Puberty Boy, I'd have shoved Hyperion through my spleen._

"_I also know that you've gone against the recommended SeeD training protocol of employing the aid of a GF," Cid continued. "You've been practicing your battle tactics all these years without a guardian force."_

"_Yes, sir."_

_Cid finally cracked a smile. "And you've become quite good on your own."_

_Seifer shifted his feet, not sure how to answer. Usually he'd be basking in the praise, but he knew there was a reason for his promotion, and he wanted Cid to get to the point._ _Why the fuck am I here?_

"_Self-reliance, confidence, an innate sense to investigate matters on your own…" Cid started to pace back and forth in front of his desk. "You also still have most of your memories, which is crucial. A GF resides in a part of the brain that normally stores past experiences…"_

_He remembered Quistis mentioning all the advantages and pitfalls of being a GF "host," as it was called, in class. Sure, obtaining a GF meant higher physical and mental stats, but the price was the host's memories. If a person would host a GF for an extended period of time, eventually they'd forget everything. One of the reasons I never took one, Seifer thought. They hijack your brain. I'd rather not be mind-fucked by some sort of magic animal._

"…_Quistis tells me you're exceptionally intelligent and quick-witted, only if you'd obey the rules…"_

_Quistis said I was smart?_

"…_and most of all, you work phenomenally as a loner," Cid added. "Seifer, I need you for exactly all these reasons."_

_Seifer looked up at him. "Sir?"_

_Cid crossed his arms and faced him. "I am going to send you on a strictly covert mission, one that is very dangerous. This is to remain highly confidential and your identity as a SeeD must be kept secret. You are not to tell the other students of your mission, nor of your promotion. When you walk out of this office, you are to act as if nothing happened; only that I gave you a reprimand for your actions on the Dollet battlefield today. Do I make myself clear?"_

_Seifer straightened, still shocked at the proposal. "Yes, sir."_

"_Now…do you accept this mission?"_

_Seifer nodded._

"_It's very dangerous, Seifer. You will not have any help until I deem it necessary to send additional SeeD forces out."_

_Seifer nodded again, even though a knot was beginning to twist in his stomach. This was a little sudden and unexpected. What the fuck had he gotten himself into?_

_Cid nodded and walked around his desk to take a seat. "All right…now I'll brief you on the details. At ease."_

_Seifer hadn't even been standing at attention in the first place, but shrugged and crossed his arms._

"_Seifer…do you remember the orphanage on the beach?"_

_How could I forget?_

_He nodded._

"_And you remember Matron…my wife, Edea?"_

_Seifer nodded again and automatically looked around. Speaking of…where was she?_

"_She's not here," Cid sighed, reading his expression. "She's…"_

_Seifer watched Cid, but he looked pained to even bring up the details._

_After a long pause, Cid cleared his throat. "I'm sending a squad of SeeDs to Timber. The Dollet communication tower was activated for a reason, and I believe only Vinzer Deling, the president of Galbadia, knows why. Gathered intelligence by both Balamb and Galbadia Gardens suggest that he's planning on making an announcement in the Timber station, the only station capable of sending and receiving signals strong enough to be channeled to the entire world, coupled with the Dollet satellite, by transmission of radio waves."_

"_What announcement, sir?"_

_Cid folded his hands. "Galbadian Garden intelligence tells me that the president has…strayed…from his usual position. He's massing the Galbadian army for something, and not even the Gardens know why. It is believed that he's being influenced by an outside force. We don't know what the announcement is, but we're speculating that it will have something to do with this new influence."_

_Seifer blinked and narrowed his eyes. "What does this have to do with Matron and the orphanage? Why did you ask me that?"_

_Cid sighed and bowed his head. "Edea has…been a sorceress for a very long time, Seifer. She has special abilities that none of us really fully understand, which is one of the reasons why she chose to live a relatively secluded life here."_

_O-kay…?_

_Seifer remembered seeing Matron here and there. She was always in Garden, but never really circulated around that much. He simply figured that she was getting older and didn't have the energy to hang around a fuck-ton of teenage mercenaries. Just speculation, though._

"_I still don't understand, sir."_

_He'd heard about Adel in class, and about the Sorceress War. Apparently, she was one fucked up bitch. Currently an icicle floating up in space, detained by Esthar, or some shit like that. Did that mean Edea had the potential to become someone like Adel? Not likely. She'd never raised a hand against her children. Hell, she hardly ever raised her voice. Maybe once or twice she'd snap her fingers to kindle a fire, but Seifer seriously doubted…_

"_We think that she's taken her abilities to the president in order to influence his military power," Cid replied grimly._

_What??_

_Something froze in Seifer's chest. "She…she what?"_

"_She left a few months ago, without my knowledge, and I've been looking for her ever since. Deep down, I was afraid that this would happen…but…now that it has…"_

_Matron left?_

"_What are you saying, Headmaster?" Seifer stepped forward. "That she's trying to use Galbadia's army? For what?"_

_Cid looked saddened. "That's what we're trying to find out. But whatever the reason, it can't be good. They've already killed innocent Dollet citizens to activate the communications tower."_

_Seifer curled a lip. "This doesn't make any sense."_

"_I know that Edea isn't herself," Cid quickly explained. "She wouldn't willingly do this. Another force is acting upon her and now she's not fully in control of her powers."_

'_In the Sorceress War, Adel had physically transformed into a hideous monster due to her willful submission to a higher force speculated to be that of a sorceress capable of traversing through time,' Quistis had explained in class. 'The words of Dr. Odine, to this day, are taken seriously. Even though Adel is contained in the most secure facility created and built based off of Odine's research, we still don't know if she was really the one responsible for all the chaos she caused, or was it really due to a force that could return at any given point in time?'_

_Hyne, Seifer throught darkly. It's got Matron._

"_So you need me to go out there and find out what she's up to," Seifer said._

"_Yes," Cid nodded. "The SeeD team I plan on dispatching to Timber will handle Deling. I need you to stick to the shadows and remain hidden until Edea reveals herself. Your mission is to find out what her goal is and to bring her back here – safely – if you can."_

_Seifer nodded._

"_It won't be easy," Cid added. "It's very possible that we could be on the brink of a Second Sorceress War, Seifer."_

_Seifer set his jaw and remained silent._

"_If it is not possible to bring Matron back here without compromising the safety of Garden, then you are to somehow infiltrate her defenses and continue to gather information. I don't care how you do it – use any means necessary. Follow her, pretend you're her ally; who knows, she might subconsciously put you under her wing since you're one of her original children."_

_The last statement struck a nerve. Seifer stared straight ahead and didn't reply._

"_This is an incredibly dangerous mission, Seifer," Cid repeated. "Innocent people could die. You will be forced to fight your allies. Use your judgment and measure the situation accordingly; try not to hurt anyone, but - "_

"_I have to be one of the bad guys," Seifer finished the sentence sourly._

_Cid nodded. "Yes. You do."_

_Seifer shrugged. "I guess it wouldn't be the first time."_

_Cid stood up and looked apologetic. "Believe me, Seifer, it pains me to say it. You're like a son to me. You're all my children. But you fit the profile. You're the only one who can bring Edea back."_

_Seifer looked at the ground and nodded. Cid and Edea Kramer were the only two people who came close to being a father and a mother to him. Even then, he was still an ungrateful little shit most of the time, but they put up with his antics anyway._

"_Promise me you'll try, son," Cid stepped around his desk and put his hands on Seifer's shoulders. "Promise me you'll try to get her back. I'd give anything to have my family back together."_

_So would I, Seifer thought. He looked up and met Cid's sad gaze._

"_All right. I will. I promise."_

_Cid nodded and sighed. "Right, then…" He turned around and picked up a slip of paper off of his desk, handing it to Seifer._

"_You may take a look at this before I burn your papers and have your file erased from the hard drive."_

_Seifer glanced at Cid curiously and took the paper._

_**SeeD Graduation Report : **__Seifer Almasy_

_**Conduct : **__30_

_**Judgment : **__50_

_**Attack : **__100_

_**Spirit : **__80_

_**Attitude : **__50_

_**SeeD Rank : **__13_

"_You will not receive a weekly salary for obvious reasons," Cid explained. "It could be traced back to Garden, which you officially will not have any ties with when you set foot out of this complex."_

"_This SeeD rank doesn't match the scores," Seifer observed._

"_No," Cid nodded. "But you're the highest SeeD rank in the system besides Xu and Quistis, simply because you've seen more SeeD field exams than anyone else, have more experience, and are about to undergo the hardest mission I've ever given a SeeD. I figured it's only fair."_

_Gee, Cid, stop, I'm blushing._

"_Not that it matters," Seifer muttered. "Nobody will know anyway."_

"_I'll know," Cid reminded him quietly, taking the paper and holding it over a candle on his desk. The page caught fire and he let it float to the floor gently, until all that was left was smoldering black ash._

"_Your mission begins immediately. Tomorrow morning, you are to go down to the disciplinary room, as if you were attending normal detention, and await further instructions. You'll know when to leave when you hear word of the Timber mission. That is your signal. A SeeD will pass you enough gil for a train ticket, which you will use to get on the next train to Timber. After that, it'll be in your hands."_

"_How will I know how to contact you?" Seifer asked._

"_SeeD will contact you," Cid replied. "I'll have messengers keep in touch when possible. You mustn't attempt to find us. It'll be too risky. Remember; use your judgment and do what you need to do."_

_Seifer nodded._

"_Remember, Seifer…not a word to anyone. You're a Galbadian sympathizer…a traitor to Garden…"_

_Seifer gritted his teeth and nodded again._

"_Do not fail this mission, Seifer." His words were heavy and his tone was serious. For once, Seifer took them to heart. He knew what it meant if he failed. He'd be killed._

"_Yes, Headmaster."_

"_And above all, Seifer…" Cid paused and cleared his throat. "…you must remember…"_

_Seifer remained rigid, staring straight ahead._

"…_I'm very proud of you," Cid finally said in a strained voice._

_Seifer glanced at him and straightened, saluting the Headmaster for the first time in his life as a SeeD. "Thank you, sir."_

_Cid gave him a grim nod and turned his back, swallowing the prickling tears down._

"_That is all. Dismissed."_


	4. Perspectives

**_"Cold are the bones of thy soldiers_**

**_Longing for home, their little paradise_**

**_I don't feel redemption on their side..."_**

_"Grace"_ by Within Temptation

* * *

"I just don't buy it, man," Zell took a bite of a french-fry. "I mean…Almasy, undercover? All this time? Tch. Yeah, right."

They were all sitting in the cafeteria, still in a good deal of shock from the Headmaster's news. Quistis had not yet come down, and they were all at odds as to how to deal with the situation. They hadn't seen Seifer since they left Cid's office, and even though Xu most likely had more answers to give them, she wasn't anywhere to be found, either. Meanwhile, Zell was busy with a basket of drowned chili-fries while Selphie and Irvine shared a soda. Squall simply sat back with his arms crossed, studying a spot on the table, obviously deep in thought.

"I dunno, Zell," Irvine shrugged. "Maybe I'm just sayin' this 'cause I hardly know the guy, 'cept from the orphanage, but it kinda makes sense when you think about it. And why would the Headmaster, Matron, and Xu be yankin' our chains?"

_He never really attacked anyone head-on except for me, _Squall thought to himself. _And I know his style. We're the only two gunblade-wielders in Garden. Maybe…?_

"Well, I'm going to give him an earful about Trabia," Selphie took a sip from the straw. "A lot of my friends died there. If he was really undercover, he could have at least given the wrong coordinates to the Galbadian soldiers, or delayed the timer, or _something_."

_Assuming he was undercover, Edea would have killed him if he screwed up an order that bad, _Squall furrowed his brows. _What if he was expecting us to crash the missile base? What if he'd trusted us to disarm the missiles…?_

"_Sir Seifer, the missiles targeted for the Garden are ready to launch."_

"_Excellent. You know, Squall, Balamb Garden is to be destroyed on charges of training SeeDs to oppose the sorceress."_

…_WHAT!?_

"_It's a pity, really. I grew up there, too…but orders are orders, and Edea wants it destroyed."_

"…_N…no…"_

"_After the Garden's gone, the SeeD hunt will begin. I'll be Edea's bloodhound and hunt down every one of your kind. It'll be fun, Squall. Don't die on me, yet."_

_He was telling me Edea's plans. He kept me alive and told me about the missiles. All this time…was he trying to point me towards more clues?_

"Squall? Yo, Squall! Earth to Squall?"

Squall's eyes darted back up to Zell. "Huh?"

"You're spacin' out, man. What are you thinkin' about?"

_It'll be fun, Squall. Don't die on me…yet._

_I should have known better. He was challenging me...challenging me to get up off my ass and do something about it._

"Nothing," Squall shrugged. "Just…things."

"Squall, did you hear Irvine's question?"

Squall glanced up. Irvine, Selphie, and Zell were all staring at him expectantly.

"Uh…no, sorry. What?"

"I was wonderin' if you told Rinoa yet," Irvine reminded him softly.

_Rinoa._

Squall sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "No, I haven't."

There was still Rinoa to think about. Even if Seifer was innocent, he'd still have to answer to pulling his blade on Rinoa and serving her up to Adel. He'd gone too far. Hyne, there were a lot of things Seifer did that didn't make any sense.

"Do you want me to do it, Squall?" Selphie leaned forward.

Squall glanced at her. Knowing Selphie – who was so cheerful it was damn near sickening – she'd probably walk into Rinoa's room, strike up conversation, and randomly mention Seifer as if it was no big deal.

_By the way, Cid said that Seifer was an undercover SeeD and he didn't really mean to try to kill you. He's back in Balamb. Did you see that the shops are having a twenty-percent off sale this weekend? I really need a new pair of shoes to match my new yellow dress._

Squall grimaced at the thought. "No, it's okay. I'll do it."

Irvine raised an eyebrow. "You sure, buddy? You're not exactly the eloquent type to break bad news softly."

Squall scowled at him. "Thanks, but I'll handle it."

"Suit yourself."

"Hey, guys," Zell suddenly lowered his voice. "Do you suppose…d'you think…_those two_ have any idea about what's going on?"

Everyone followed Zell's gaze, which fell on Fujin and Raijin standing in the lunch line. Raijin was busy piling up the cheeseburgers and bowls of chili, while Fujin was filling a small bowl of salad.

"They might," Irvine nodded. "They snatched Sis and followed Seifer all the way to the Lunatic Pandora, for Hyne's sake."

"Do you think they knew all along that Seifer was undercover?" Selphie speculated.

Squall narrowed his eyes. _Good question. Fujin and Raijin had been back and forth, from Garden to Seifer to Garden again. Cid never kicked them out for treason, either. __This just gets weirder and weirder._

"Aw, Sel, my head hurts," Irvine tipped his hat and put his palm to his forehead. "We've just come back from time compression. I don't want to think about this right now."

_That makes two of us._

"Quisty!" Selphie's high-pitched coo made the boys jump. "Over here!"

Quistis walked into the cafeteria and took a seat between Selphie and Squall. "Hey, guys."

"Quis, what's up?" Zell asked her through a mouth full of fries. "You don't look so hot."

"Just trying to deal with the curve balls Cid's thrown at us," Quistis replied monotonously.

"What'd he wanna talk to you about?" Irvine quirked a brow at her.

Quistis grabbed the soda from Selphie and took a sip. "My new position with Dr. Kadowaki, that's all. It's going to be challenging, to say the least."

Everyone watched her and expected her to elaborate on her cryptic sentence, but she slumped forward and sighed instead, resting a chin on her arms.

Squall, on the other hand, had an idea that she wasn't too thrilled with her new assignment. "Who's your first case?"

Quistis gave him an icy glare. "It's confidential."

"Aw, bullshit, Quisty," Zell grinned. "Is it one of us? C'mon, you can tell us!"

Squall gave her the slightest of grins out of the corner of his mouth, one only she could see.

_You've got _him_, eh? That sucks._

Quistis pretended to ignore his expression.

"I have to begin my session with Dr. Kadowaki next week," Selphie put her chin in her hand and looked up at the ceiling, thinking out loud. "I wonder what sorts of questions she's going to ask me."

"Probably whether or not we feel suicidal after trying to kill our adopted mother – OW!" Zell replied darkly, followed by a wince. Squall had kicked him under the table and shot him a warning glance to shut up.

It was almost an unspoken rule to at least attempt not to talk about Matron's…unfortunate experience. It was too depressing. It was still too raw.

"She'll probably just assess how you're coping," Quistis cut in softly. "For example, if you're sleeping well. If you're experiencing bad dreams. How your attitude is towards other students after being away from Garden for so long. It's standard SeeD protocol that we all undergo mental evals after a mission, you know that."

"Yeah," Selphie shrugged. "I just wonder if she's going to make us lie on a couch and take us to our 'happy place,' like the beach or a beautiful field full of wildflowers…"

Squall shifted in his seat uncomfortably. _Yeah. Ironic._

"Oh yeah?" Irvine grinned at Selphie mischievously. "And just what exactly are you wearin' at your beach, cutie?"

Selphie giggled and elbowed him.

Quistis rolled her eyes and was about to explain that the process wasn't quite like that when Zell interrupted with a snort.

"I don't know about you guys, but I've slept like a _rock_ these past few days," he folded his hands behind his head. "I sure haven't lost any sleep over destroying an evil bitch like Ultimecia."

Squall gave Zell a rare grin. _Amen._

"But for some reason, after our return, there's been a massive hotdog shortage in the cafeteria," Irvine added with a wink. "Now _that's_ just downright depressing."

"You can say that again," Zell scowled. "You'd think they'd know to have a stockpile by now."

Fujin and Raijin had taken their seats four tables over and were almost halfway through with lunch. Squall had eyed them every now and then, curious at Selphie's earlier statement. His thoughts traveled back to the incident at the Balamb inn. After following a strange lead, they'd expected to find Galbadian soldiers linked to Seifer, but instead were surprised to find Fujin and Raijin.

"_Are the two of you taking orders from the sorceress?"_

_Raijin curled a lip at Squall. "The sorceress has nothin' to do with us, ya know?! We're actin' on our own!"_

_Squall glared at them in utter confusion. What in the royal hell was _that_ supposed to mean? _

"_We're on Seifer's side, ya know!" Raijin pounded his chest._

_Squall blinked at Raijin. Whatever. "That's up to you, but…enough is enough. This isn't an internal Garden conflict."_

He'd let them go that day, simply because he always knew they were both a few chocobos short of a herd. They followed Seifer because that's what they did. That's really all they knew how to do. Squall figured they'd give up the charade once they realized that Seifer was really out of his Hyne-damned mind, but they encountered each other again in the Lunatic Pandora.

_Squall held out his gunblade in front of him and clenched his jaw angrily. "You again…I should've known."_

_Seifer glared at him haughtily, with a hand on one hip and resting Hyperion on his shoulder with the other._

"_We've come to take back Ellone!" Squall shouted._

_Seifer smirked. "Uh oh. Looks like we have company." He glanced at Fujin and Raijin, who were off to the side holding Ellone, and cocked his head towards Squall. "Show 'em your hospitality."_

_There was something in his voice then. Something that Squall couldn't interpret. Yet Seifer, who was usually callous and dramatic, had softened his tone and was almost too quiet to hear._

_Show 'em your hospitality._

_Like the statement wasn't even meant to be sarcastic._

_Fujin and Raijin had let Ellone go. She didn't even have a scratch on her._

_Shortly thereafter, Seifer let them leave as well._

_Was it all an act? Were they playing along to make us believe that Seifer was still a traitor?_

Squall rubbed his eyes and groaned. He had a headache.

"Squall? You all right?"

_I'm so fucking confused._ "Fine."

"Well, you guys, I'd love to stay and chat but I promised the Garden Festival Committee I'd lend a hand today…" Selphie stood up from her chair and waved at them all.

_Three days on our feet and already the rambunctious piece of work is at it again._

"Selphie, where do you get your energy?" Quistis stared at her in surprise.

_Sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows,_ Squall mused.

Selphie shrugged and smiled. "I dunno! It just comes naturally, I guess! Irvy, you coming?"

Irvine pulled the brim of his hat down to cover his eyes. "Ahh, well, gee I don't know, Selphie, I should really get back to my room and unpack…"

Selphie tugged at his elbow. "C'mon, Irvy, it won't take that long. We're just going to discuss the decorations for the celebration."

"Just the decorations, Sel? Or the hors d'oeuvres samples, fine china, musicians, and dress attire as well?"

Selphie put a finger to her chin. "You're right. We need to talk about all of that too."

Irvine stifled a muffled curse.

"What for?" Zell asked.

"Balamb Garden's going to hold a big ceremony for all of us!" Selphie exclaimed. "Isn't it great? We're all going to get medals! There's going to be drinks and food and dancing and everything!"

_I wonder if Cid's going to use it for Seifer's big debut, _Squall thought.

Quistis groaned. Selphie glanced down at her.

"What's the matter, Quisty?"

"I hate dressing up."

Selphie immediately beamed. "I'm sure Rinoa and I can help you! We'll dig something up."

Quistis closed her eyes tightly and screwed up her face, immediately wishing she'd kept her mouth shut. Squall glanced at her and chuckled inwardly.

"Do we gotta find dates for this thing?" Zell picked at his teeth with a toothpick.

"Duh!" Selphie reached out and bopped him on the head with her palm. "Why don't you ask that nice librarian girl?"

Zell's face immediately turned a beet red. "Uhh…er…tch, whatever. I don't know what you're talking about."

"Zell, don't worry about a date," Quistis shook her head. "I'm going stag too. I probably won't even stay that long."

Selphie glared at her, wide-eyed and open-mouthed, as if Quistis had just committed blasphemy against the festival gods.

"Why don't you two go together?" Irvine grinned.

"No," Zell and Quistis both replied in rigid unison.

"Okay, well, anyway, let's be off!" Selphie waved again and motioned for Irvine to follow her. "Irvy, come on!"

Irvine groaned and stood up. "Guess she's got me by the balls."

"Last I checked, that's how you like it," Zell grinned up at him impishly.

Irvine chuckled and gave the rest of the table a small two-fingered salute. "What can I say? Catch y'all later."

Zell leaned back and burped, patting his stomach. "What do you think, Quis? Think I can fit one more bowl of chili into this beautiful, rippled stomach of mine?"

Squall glanced sideways and noticed that Fujin and Raijin were emptying their cafeteria trays and heading towards the exit.

Quistis chuckled. "That's a risk you're going to have to take on your own, Zell. If you want my professional opinion, I'd say skip the helping if you want to avoid heartburn."

Zell was already standing up. "Too late! Already decided!" He skipped over to the lunch line before anyone could say anything further.

Quistis shook her head and stood up. "Well, I'm going to Dr. Kadowaki's office. I'll see you later, Squall." She glanced over to find that Squall wasn't even paying attention. Instead, he was craning his neck and obviously watching something else towards the cafeteria doors. "Squall?"

Squall snapped to attention. "Hm?"

"I'm out of here."

"Oh. Yeah. Me too. I'll go out with you."

They both waved to Zell, walked out of the cafeteria, and crossed the quad. Once they reached the wing leading to the dormitories, Squall stopped short and glanced down the long hallway. Raijin and Fujin were up ahead.

"I'll see you later, Quistis. I'm just gonna…head to my room."

Quistis followed his gaze. "Okay. Sure."

He nodded to her and turned towards the hallway. Quistis hesitated for a few moments before calling out to him.

"Squall?"

He turned around and quirked an eyebrow.

"Let me know what they say."

He gave her a curt nod and turned back around, following Fujin and Raijin. Quistis let out a sigh and continued towards Dr. Kadowaki's office.

. . . . . . .

After Squall and the others had left the Headmaster's office, Xu and Seifer followed shortly thereafter, waiting for the next lift to take them down.

"How's your jaw?" Xu asked him briskly.

Seifer felt the appendage and rolled it back and forth. The minute he'd set foot in Garden a few days earlier, Xu was there to meet him. With her fist.

"Still intact. Shit, Xu, you didn't have to hit me that hard. At least I was holding back when I knocked you across that ugly face of yours last year."

"Consider it payback, bitch. I've wanted to do that for months."

"Sad, how I've been on your innermost thoughts most of the time. It'll never work between us, Xu. I'm not into pounding chicks in the ass."

"Go fuck yourself."

"You know, there was _some_ pleasure in setting the missile coordinates for Balamb, knowing you were still here – _fuck!_"

She'd taken another swipe at him, but he ducked just in time.

"Those missiles were one hell of a close call, Almasy. Too close. Cid might trust you, but I still have my doubts."

Seifer snorted and cocked his head towards Cid's office. "Yeah? Then what was all that bullshit you just said in there?"

Xu crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes. "I acknowledge the fact that you're a SeeD and that you've completed the mission that was assigned to you – however fucked up it might've been – but I have a feeling that you actually enjoyed your little role as lapdog once or twice."

Seifer stiffened at the word and gave her a sneer. "You _would_."

"Why the hell didn't you at least attempt to set the wrong coordinates?"

Seifer sighed. He knew that in time there would be some sort of military tribunal for everything he'd done, which he'd already explained with Cid (and Edea) upon his return. His actions were both confirmed and pardoned, regardless of what had happened to Trabia Garden, and he wasn't really worried about the consequences. The tribunal was going to be more of a pain in the ass and a waste of time than anything else…but he didn't really feel like answering any questions right now, especially ones coming from Xu.

"I told you before. She would have killed me."

"No big loss, in my eyes."

Seifer gritted his teeth and forced his bubbling anger back down. Last summer, he would have blown a gasket already. His experience with the sorceress, however, taught him extreme patience. Patience and mental endurance to almost a breaking point, a point of no return – a point of borderline lunacy. Now, he was almost so patient that his unusually calm and collective nature was a deadly asset.

Upon seeing the look in his eyes, Xu seemed to sense this and automatically took a step back.

"Be careful, Xu," he finally replied in a low tone. "Don't push me."

"All I've deducted so far is that you were more intent to save your own ass than look out for others," Xu snapped back. "You were willing to murder thousands of Garden students because you were afraid that a sorceress would kill you? Oh, how noble."

"No," Seifer growled, "if she would have killed me, then you all would have been up shit creek, that's why. Do you really think Leonhart and his kindergarten squad would have found the witch without the trail of bread crumbs I left behind? What about when I practically _gave_ her to them on a silver platter after I hijacked Galbadia Garden? Huh? Believe me, Xu, I wanted to die every day I stood by that bitch's side. I found myself _hoping_ that she'd kill me eventually. But no, that'd be the easy way out, wouldn't it? Instead, I'm still alive and I still have to listen to your fucking mouth. I think I would have rather preferred hell."

Xu rolled her eyes but didn't reply. They both waited in tense silence until the lift arrived with a _ding_, then they rode down without a word to each other, finally parting ways in the quad.

Seifer was headed straight to the dormitory wing, not wanting to run into anyone else that day. The happy reunion in Cid's office was enough. He was already on the verge of killing someone, and it was barely noon.

Xu glanced over her shoulder and sighed. Seifer was still walking, ignoring the surprised glances from a few students in the hallway.

"I'll see you around, Almasy."

Seifer stopped, glanced over his shoulder, then turned to keep walking. "In your wet dreams, Xu."

That morning, she ignored that comment. That morning, she actually chuckled and walked away. That morning, Seifer could've sworn that Xu's casual goodbye was almost like her version of an apology.

. . . . . .

A blinding, bright white light seemed to bore a hole straight into her head, and immense pressure built up on her arms until she felt like her blood vessels were going to explode.

Alas, it wasn't time compression.

"Blood pressure and pupil dilation is normal," Dr. Kadowaki stated, scribbling something on a clipboard. She removed the penlight and stuffed it back into her white lab coat pocket, then ripped off the blood pressure cuff from Quistis's arm and hung it over her neck. Quistis blinked, then blinked again, and stared at the wall as small black and white spots darted across her vision.

"Are you keeping food down?"

"Yes."

"Sleeping habits normal?"

"Er…no, not really…"

Kadowaki scribbled something else onto the clipboard. "Bad dreams?"

Even though this was exactly the kind of thing she had informed the others about, it was something different to actually be on the receiving end of the questions. She immediately felt as if she were being judged.

"Well…yeah, but…"

Kadowaki scribbled something else. "How about vertigo?"

"Sometimes, yes."

More writing.

"Nosebleeds?"

Quistis nodded. "Uh…yes. It happens…at night…when I'm sleeping…"

"I'm assuming this is after you've had a nightmare?"

Quistis nodded.

Dr. Kadowaki furrowed her brows and scribbled something else.

"But," Quistis insisted, "it hasn't occurred as often since we got back. I think it might be going away."

"Don't worry, Quistis," Dr. Kadowaki shrugged, "it's only been three days. You're experiencing side effects from time compression, I'm sure. You've all been through hell and back. I'm quite impressed that you've all returned in the pristine condition you're in. You're all very tough youngsters."

Quistis wasn't quite sure whether or not to take that as a compliment.

"It isn't the physical health I'm worried about," Dr. Kadowaki continued. "Rather, it's the mental infliction you've endured since your fight with Ultimecia…and Seifer."

Quistis glanced at Dr. Kadowaki. She was watching Quistis over the brim of her glasses.

"Cid tells me you're to analyze him first."

_Damn. Word gets around fast._ Quistis nodded.

"I can't say that I envy you, Quistis. Seifer wasn't always a model student. He's going to be a challenge."

_Everyone keeps reminding me as if I haven't experienced this firsthand,_ Quistis thought irritably.

"Therefore, I'm going to make sure you're in a healthy mental state yourself before you take on one of Garden's most notorious students."

Quistis nodded. "So then…you know about Seifer? About how he's really a SeeD?"

Dr. Kadowaki nodded. "Although, Headmaster Cid didn't inform me until after the little conflict we had with the Garden Master and the missile crisis. You weren't here to witness all that, I'm afraid. He came to see me in the infirmary and confessed everything…about Edea, about his children…about what could happen. That's when he told me about Seifer."

Quistis wrung her hands and remained silent.

"Even the Headmaster has a lot on his mind, Quistis. He blames himself for a lot of what happened, which is why I'm sure he's so adamant to get all of you to come together again. To heal together."

Quistis sighed. "I know."

Dr. Kadowaki gave her a reassuring smile and patted her on the arm. "Don't worry. It'll be all right. The worst is over."

It was interesting how Quistis considered that sentence with a neutral feeling. Sure, Ultimecia was gone. Matron and Rinoa were safe. But eventually she'd have to tread into unknown territory involving one Seifer Almasy and his unpredictable temperament.

_Cake, right?_

"Now, before you're given responsibility towards other students, I'm going to assess your condition. Afterwards, you will have full access to student files and background information, more than you would have as an instructor, but you are not allowed to prescribe them any medications without consulting me."

Quistis nodded.

"So, let's get the show on the road. I have high confidence in you, Quistis; this shouldn't take over a week."

Quistis nodded again. "Okay."

"Now, hop off that thing and have a seat."

Quistis slid off of the tissue paper-covered medical cot and sat in an armchair next to Dr. Kadowaki's desk. Dr. Kadowaki pulled out a small recording device and turned it on.

"SeeD is Quistis Trepe, rank 24. 27 May, twelve hundred hours. Physical evaluation complete, everything is normal. Mental evaluation underway."

The doctor sat at her desk and wrote some more notes on her clipboard, then turned towards Quistis with a smile.

"Okay, Quistis. Let's start by how you were assigned to the Timber mission."

Quistis's stomach immediately plummeted into an uncomfortable quiver. She bit the inside of her cheek out of nervous habit.

"I wasn't originally assigned to the Timber team."

"But you ended up with Squall's SeeD squad at the Timber broadcasting station, is that correct?"

Quistis swallowed. "Yes."

"If you were not on the assignment, why did you leave Garden?"

Quistis glanced up at Dr. Kadowaki. "Um…I'm sorry, doctor…didn't Cid tell you?"

Dr. Kadowaki reached over and stopped the recorder. "I apologize, Quistis…I should have explained this to you beforehand. I already know your situation, but I just want to hear it on the record. This is all to get you to open up about your prior experiences so you can tell me, from your perspective, how you viewed the events as they unfolded."

Quistis nodded. "Okay. I'm sorry."

"I'm not trying to put you on the spot here. It's just simple protocol."

"Right."

"In the meantime, take some mental notes on how I'm doing this. Pretty soon, you'll be asking the same questions to other students."

Quistis nodded again.

"All right," Dr. Kadowaki started the recorder again, "can you recall the approximate date you left Garden for Timber?"

_It was the day Seifer went nuts for no apparent reason._ "1 September, last fall."

"What prompted you to leave without orders?"

Quistis looked down at her hands. "I went to retrieve a student of Garden who had left the grounds, unauthorized and out of control."

"Name that student, please."

"Seifer Almasy."

"Why did you ignore standard SeeD protocol and follow him regardless?"

…_Because._

There was a long pause. Dr. Kadowaki glanced at her. "Quistis? There's no right or wrong answer. I know it may sound as if I'm trying to get you in trouble, but it's just a question. Remember, anything you say to me is confidential."

"Because, I…he…" She trailed off and sighed. "He was my responsibility."

_Quistis had searched high and low for the tall, strawberry-blonde brute in a grey trench coat, but he was nowhere to be found amongst the streets of Balamb. She'd followed him this far. There was no way in hell she'd let him get away with this._

_She'd been in charge of the disciplinary room, babysitting Seifer once again in detention, when Xu came in for a little small talk. Xu wasn't exactly known for having a big mouth, especially when it came to a SeeD mission, but she must've been keen to annoy Seifer at the time, because she had indiscreetly and unnecessarily announced that Squall, along with Selphie and Zell, had been dispatched to Timber._

"_Hey, Quistis," Xu smiled. "Did you hear about your star student, Squall? He's already on his first SeeD mission."_

_Seifer, who was busy flicking spitballs across the room, snapped to attention. "What??"_

_Xu narrowed her eyes and grinned at him, glad to rip the wings off of an already injured fly. "How's it feel, Almasy, to be left behind again?" she mocked nastily. "I heard Squall was put in charge of the whole thing."_

"_Xu," Quistis warned._

"_Apparently, they're going to help liberate Timber," Xu added, ignoring Quistis. "It's about time they sent someone with skill to actually get the job done. Didn't you try to do the same thing once or twice with your little girlfriend last summer, Almasy?"_

"_Xu! What has gotten into you?" Quistis hissed, grabbing her arm. "Don't provoke him right now! That's the last thing I need!"_

_Xu, however, ignored Quistis and stepped up to the desk Seifer was sitting at. She dug into the breast pocket of her SeeD uniform and took out an envelope, dangling it front of his face._

"_Why don't you take this, Almasy? It's my latest SeeD salary. I'm sure it'll be more than enough gil for your ticket out of here."_

_Seifer glared up at her. Quistis was sure he was about to explode at any moment. The burning rage in his eyes was all too familiar._

"_Xu, that's enough…"_

_Xu grinned down and slapped the envelope down onto his desk, suddenly feigning distress. "Oh, wait! I forgot! You're not even a SeeD! You probably couldn't get past a bite bug with berserk – "_

_Before Quistis could even react, Xu's head whipped upwards as Seifer's knuckles connected perfectly with her chin. She fell backwards, stunned, and Seifer grabbed the envelope, shoving it into his pocket._

_Quistis managed to cry out his name habitually before her brain even registered what had happened._

"_Seifer! Stop!"_

_He had Hyperion ready and rushed towards the door, shoving past Quistis and disappearing within seconds. He hadn't even looked back._

_Xu was already heaving herself back up, screaming at anyone who would listen. "Stop him! Someone stop him!"_

_Quistis ran out of the doorway, still numb with shock. What just happened? What just happened? Hyne, Seifer just hit Xu. What the hell was she thinking, aggravating him like that? But I'd never thought he'd go so far…where does he think he's going? What the hell is going on?_

_Students were standing idle in the hallway, murmuring about Seifer going crazy. Most of them were too confused to realize what had happened, and some had been knocked over in Seifer's wake. A few were bleeding. They must have tried to stop him…and obviously didn't succeed._

"_Stop him!"_

"_Close the gates!"_

"_Too late, he's already taken one of the vehicles!"_

"_Stop him!"_

_A student ran up to Quistis, out of breath. "Instructor! What just happened? Is everything okay?"_

_Without thinking, Quistis sprinted down the hallway and out into the quad, towards the garage. More students were sprawled on the ground, bowled over from Seifer's advance, and incomprehensible shouting was coming from the warehouse that sheltered all the Garden-issued vehicles. _

_Anger and determination suddenly flooded through her. She wasn't going to let Seifer out of Garden without a fight. Not like this. _

_Like hell I'm going to let that bastard go against orders. Like hell I'm going to let him just…leave…over something so trivial as this._

_Xu emerged from the disciplinary room and darted after Quistis._

"_Quistis! Wait! Quistis, don't!"_

_But Quistis had already reached the garage. A perplexed student was manning the office that housed all the keys and paperwork._

"_Instructor! Seifer pulled his gunblade on me! He forced me to give him a set of keys to the - "_

"_Where is he?!" Quistis snapped._

"_H-he already left, Instructor! I think he's headed to town!"_

"_Give me the keys to an eight-cylinder, now!"_

"_B-but…but, Instructor Trepe…!"_

"_I said NOW!"_

"_Yes, ma'am. H-h-here!"_

_She snatched the keys and darted to the sportiest car with the biggest engine. The faster, the better. _

_Hyne, Seifer. You've finally lost it. Just wait. Just wait until I get through with you. You're going to wish you've never met me. I'm going to fuck you up so bad you'll be breathing through your asshole with a straw._

"_Quistis!" Xu appeared in the doorway and glanced around the warehouse wildly, finally spotting her getting into a yellow car. "Quistis, stop! Don't go after him! That's an order, dammit!"_

_Quistis was too angry to listen to anything, least of all reason. Before Xu could reach her, she shoved the key into the ignition and immediately put the car in gear, stomping on the accelerator. With a screech, the car leapt out of the lot and out of Garden as Quistis gripped the wheel tightly and steered it towards town._

_She'd found the stolen red sports car abandoned right on the outskirts of Balamb. She was now making her way on foot through the crowded streets towards the train station. There was only one way Seifer could get off the island, and he had Xu's gil. _

'_Enough for a ticket out of here,' Quistis thought of Xu's words. Damn it, Xu. _

_She knew that Xu disliked Seifer, and she had more than once given him an open invitation to leave Garden for good, but never in her life had Quistis thought Seifer would actually accept the offer. Apparently he finally had._

_There was something about the Timber mission that pushed Seifer off the edge, however. What the hell…?_

_No matter. She just needed to get him back to Garden._

_Why am I even doing this? She asked herself for the hundredth time, and for the hundredth time the little voice of reason sprung up to answer. Because if he succeeds and interrupts the Timber mission, Garden could be blamed. Because he could get someone hurt. Because he might end up hurting himself. Because if he leaves, he might not ever come back. Because I can't give up on him…not yet…_

_Quistis sighed and walked up and down the train platform, trying to spot him. I'm going to be in a hell of a lot of trouble when I get back. Xu told me not to go after him. Maybe I should have listened. But, even though he's not a SeeD, technically he's still one of us…isn't he? Was I the only one that really ran after him? _

'_Attention: The train to Timber will be leaving shortly. Attention: The train to Timber will be leaving shortly. Last call for boarding passes.'_

_Quistis gritted her teeth and knew that she had no other choice but to buy a ticket and search the train._

_You'll pay me back, Seifer Almasy, one way or another._

"Quistis, would you mind telling me your feelings about this?"

Quistis glanced up at Dr. Kadowaki. "My feelings?"

"As you pursued Seifer, you must have been very angry, or very determined, in order to abruptly leave Garden like that. What was it that made you follow him?"

Quistis swallowed. _How should I know?_ "I was…angry at him."

"Why?"

"He always made me angry. It's just what he did. He did things on purpose to make me mad at him."

"Wouldn't you consider that just Seifer's way of trying to get attention?"

Quistis shrugged. "There are other ways to get people's attention. Seifer only garnered negative attention. He always managed to push people further away from him."

Dr. Kadowaki sat back and adjusted her glasses. "But not you, it seems. I wonder why?"

Quistis was beginning to wonder what kind of psychoanalysis this was. Normally, standard SeeD protocol would follow the usual route of these types of evaluations. Are you sleeping well? Do you have bad dreams? Are you experiencing any sort of anxiety or paranoia? How did you feel when you killed your target? Would you be able to kill again?

Quistis understood why Garden did mental evals. It was to ensure that their elite mercenary forces wouldn't choke on a mission. It was also to ensure they wouldn't freak out afterwards. Basically, the evals were to make sure the SeeDs were mentally fit to continue to be killing machines without a second thought. The first mission or two were always the hardest…but after awhile, they'd all become numb to it. Quistis remembered that after her SeeD field exam she wasn't able to eat red meat for months. She'd slept with her light on for a few weeks…but she got over it. They all got over it. She thought about Zell and chuckled inwardly about how he'd gone straight to the cafeteria to load up on hotdogs after the Dollet mission. Apparently the gory mess the X-ATM092 left behind didn't do anything to his appetite.

But this mental evaluation was different. It seemed to get personal.

After a long pause, Quistis just shrugged.

"So, Quistis, why were you so angry at Seifer?"

_Because he couldn't just…leave…_

"He…he just went out of control. He hit Xu…he broke out of the disciplinary room…he hurt other students…I don't know, I wanted to get him back so he could face his actions!"

Dr. Kadowaki examined her. There was a long, awkward pause until she removed her scrutinizing gaze and wrote something on her clipboard.

"I think there's more to it than that, Quistis."

Quistis swallowed. "What do you mean?"

"If Seifer was such a nuisance and a hazard, wouldn't it have been beneficial to let him go?"

_Yes, but…that sounds so…cold-hearted…so…_

"Convenient," Quistis murmured.

"I beg your pardon?"

"It would have been so convenient for others to just finally forget about him," Quistis replied, a hint of bitterness in her voice. "That's usually what everyone did with Seifer. They'd ignore him. They'd run from him. They'd just….give up."

Dr. Kadowaki watched her.

Quistis stared at the floor and thought about Seifer Almasy.

Most of her life, she felt ignored. It didn't matter that she was a teacher, and it didn't matter if her tactics were rumored to be professional and the epitome of textbook. It didn't matter that she was a prime role model of Balamb Garden. It didn't matter that she had 'Trepies,' who really didn't care to know her at all. To her, she seemed practically invisible to the ones that really mattered. Headmaster Cid was too busy to notice; even after her license was revoked, he was too involved in other matters to even raise his voice in opposition to the measure. Squall was too reserved to care. She really didn't have any other close friends besides Xu, but both their schedules combined proved to be too hectic to spend much quality time together. She wasn't very close to Zell until the whole sorceress incident, and she hadn't even met Selphie or Irvine until they all met up by accident in Timber.

Needless to say, she didn't have much time to build relationships. It was only until they all started to remember Matron's orphanage by the beach when the five mercenaries decided to forgo the appeal of the GF and quickly formed a close-knit group. Even then, they'd only been together a few months.

There was one student, however, who always managed to give her plenty of attention during her time at Garden – whether she wanted it or not.

He seemed to know her dilemma better than she did. The prime role model of Balamb Garden was perfect in every way – she was smart, she was beautiful, she was strict, and she was drier than the Galbadian Desert. The Perfect Instructor had no time for friends, let alone any sort of intimate relationships, nor did she have any time for normal student activities besides reading and sparring in the training center.

Seifer Almasy reminded her every day of her own insignificance, and he relished every minute of it.

No matter what she did to try to encourage him to listen and to learn, he was impervious to all her attempts. Instead, he'd counter with an abrasive or disruptive comment with that confident, taunting grin and an almost dangerous flint in his green eyes – a comment that would make the rest of the class giggle and would manage to ruffle her feathers. She knew that her stoic appearance at the front of the classroom didn't fool him as it did with so many others. He knew when his comment hit a nerve. If he was successful, he'd get sent to detention. If she was in a good mood, he'd escape with several reprimands and low marks. No matter what he did, however, he always seemed to focus his efforts towards her, even though it was never really for a good cause.

"_Seifer, can you explain why it is imperative to junction magic that can inflict status effects?"_

"_Because you never know when you'll meet someone at a bar. Sleep can do the job better than a roofie can; maybe you should try that approach, Instructor?"_

"_Can anyone repeat the reason why it's useless to use physical attacks against elementals? Seifer?"_

"_Do you count as an elemental, Instructor? You're as frigid as an ice cube and it seems nobody's gotten physical with you yet."_

He'd gone to detention for those comments.

She'd graded countless papers he'd turned in that had obscene language or drawings on the pages. One question had asked, _'What is the best way to quickly and efficiently kill a Marlboro?'_ to which he'd written, _"It's a fucking weed. I'd just piss on it."_

She chuckled at that one, knowing he probably would, but marked it wrong anyway.

_Seifer, please remove your boots from your desk._

_Seifer, please stop shooting spitballs at people._

_Seifer, please leave Squall alone._

_Seifer, there is no drinking in class. Hand over the flask._

Seifer, Seifer, Seifer. He did it to piss her off. He always did. She knew he was intelligent, if he'd only apply himself. Instead, he seemed to go out of his way to bother her, ignoring his grades altogether. It seemed as if he existed only to act as a thorn in her side.

Over the years, though, he became a sort of a dull ache that she could put up with. His taunts became a rough lullaby. As much as his presence irked her, it soothed her. He was predictably unpredictable. He was a smartass, a cocky asshole, a brilliant mess, and he probably hated her. The feeling was almost mutual…but he was _there_. Every day, he was there in her life. Not even Squall, the only other person she'd really cared about, was there for her.

That day, when he'd flown out of Garden like a bat out of hell, Quistis was afraid that he'd never return. His abrupt departure did more than make her angry…

It scared her.

"I couldn't give up on him," she finally told Dr. Kadowaki. "I…I couldn't let him go."

Dr. Kadowaki nodded. "Was it because Squall and the others had left for their mission, and with Seifer gone, you'd be all alone?"

Quistis hesitated. _Maybe…_

Dr. Kadowaki wrote something on the clipboard. "Quistis, I have a question. I'm just tossing it out there, you can take it or leave it; would you have ever given up on Seifer Almasy?"

Quistis shrugged weakly. "I…well…"

"Would you ever in your life admit that Seifer was, or will be, a lost cause?"

_A lost cause? Seifer was never a lost cause. He was just a fucking dickhead._

"Of course I wouldn't."

"And I don't mean now that we've seen his true colors. I'm talking about back when you were an instructor. Have you ever felt the urge to flunk Seifer out of Garden?"

Quistis blinked and felt defensive. "What? No! No, of course not! Seifer had plenty of potential, Dr. Kadowaki. He simply channeled it in the wrong directions. The fact that he did it on purpose only made me more determined to snap him out of his own cocky delusions of self-grandeur. Sure, I tossed him out of class more times than I can count, and we've gotten into plenty of verbal exchanges, but I never once considered his discharge. In fact, if someone were to file a grievance against his status as a student, I would have to protest. He's an asset to Garden. And…it's his home. We're his family."

_He's my family._

Dr. Kadowaki nodded and shut off the recorder. "Thank you, Quistis. This will do for today. You can come back tomorrow, same time, right?"

Quistis blinked and nodded. _What just happened? Was this a mental eval or a gossip session about Seifer Almasy?_

"I know you're probably a little confused about my questions, but it will make sense to you later," Dr. Kadowaki assured her, placing the recorder in a file cabinet and locking it shut. "Relationships you've formed – and experiences you've had – with other SeeD cadets most likely determined the actions you've taken during your conflict with the sorceress; it will help me build your case so I'll understand better on how you perceived things at the time. Because Seifer was a former student of yours, and because you ended up fighting against him, I needed to know about your previous relationship with him. Later on, I'll ask you about your teammates and about Edea. I understand this is all still a little too painful for you to talk about, so we'll stop for now and gradually progress through the week. Does this sound okay to you?"

_My relationships with the others determined my actions. Like how I wanted to pop Seifer's head off his neck with Save the Queen but couldn't bring myself to do it. Quistis Trepe…trained SeeD mercenary…kills on command…and apparently has a soft spot for sorceress lapdogs... Okay. Makes sense that Dr. Kadowaki would ask me that stuff, then. But…ugh…why did we have to talk about him on the first day? Talk about salt and lemon juice on the open wound. _

"Yeah. That's fine, Dr. Kadowaki. Thanks for all you've done."

"Good. Now, get some much needed R&R, Quistis. You've earned it."

. . . . . .

Squall quickened his pace so he could catch up to the pair. He doubted Fujin and Raijin would really provide him information that was useful (or that he hadn't known already), but he had questions that couldn't wait. Where in the hell was Xu, anyway? Forget asking Seifer. The news was still too much of a shock. He'd just crossed blades with him a week ago, for Hyne's sake. Screw the small talk.

"Hey!"

Fujin and Raijin turned around, surprised to see Squall behind them.

"Yo, Squall! Heard ya got back a few days ago, ya know? Didn't expect you to be up and about so soon!"

"RECOVERING?" Fujin asked him, crossing her arms.

Squall shrugged. "Yeah. Feeling a lot better than before, anyway."

"Dr. Kadowaki wants to interview all of us for mental evals, ya know?" Raijin crossed his arms and shook his head. "Lots of messed up shit been goin' on lately, ya know?"

Squall nodded, deciding not to bring up the fact that Fujin and Raijin were part of the moron brigade following Seifer around, causing ruckus in the first place.

"WHAT?" Fujin narrowed her eyes, wanting to get to the point.

Squall glanced at both of them and realized that there was no point beating around the bush. "Did you guys know all along that Seifer was undercover?"

Raijin and Fujin exchanged glances.

"CONFIDENTIAL," Fujin replied with a tiny glint in her good eye.

"Yeah, we can't be goin' around admittin' that sort of stuff without Cid's permission, ya know?" Raijin agreed.

Squall rolled his eyes. "The war's over, okay? Gimme a break with the top secret shit."

"POINTLESS," Fujin replied monotonously.

"Yeah, what's the use, ya know?" Raijin shrugged. "If Cid already told you, then what are you askin' us for?"

"Because I almost _killed_ him last week," Squall replied with clenched teeth, his patience running thin. "If he's really a SeeD, and if he's not a traitor, then I want to know why we were shoving our gunblades down each other's throats! And what the hell were you two doing helping him?"

Fujin crossed her arms and remained stoic, but Raijin shifted his feet uncomfortably. After a long pause, he decided to answer.

"We were messengers, ya know?"

…_Messengers?_

Fujin kicked Raijin in the shin. "QUIET."

"Ow! H-hey! C'mon, Fuj, it's Squall here!" Raijin was jumping up and down on one foot, holding the injured leg. "He's gonna find out sooner or later, ya know? And he's right…the war's over. I doubt anything we say is confidential anymore."

Fujin set her jaw and looked away, but remained silent.

"Anyways, like I was sayin', remember when we met up in Galbadia Garden? Well, that's when Cid wanted us to send you some new orders."

_Yeah. I remember. Those were the orders to kill Edea. But wait…_

"Did you guys actually see the orders?"

Raijin and Fujin exchanged glances.

"NEGATIVE."

"We weren't allowed, ya know?"

Squall narrowed his eyes. "Then how do you know they were from Cid? Did he give them to you personally?"

Raijin scratched his head. "Uhhh…?"

_If Seifer's mission was to recover Edea safely, why the orders for her assassination?_

"SHUMI," Fujin replied.

"Yeah, yeah! That's right! You're right, Fuj! Cid was the one who told us to find Seifer, but before we left Balamb, we were stopped by one of those Shumi Garden Faculty members. They had a note and said it was from Cid; said it was to be delivered to the Timber team, which was you guys."

Squall suddenly remembered the whole ordeal with the Shumi Garden Master.

"_Bujururururu! That sly weasel Martine used you as a last resort for the assassination! He gave that order to place the blame on me! That – that bastard!"_

"_Are you saying that Balamb Garden had nothing to do with that order?"_

Squall put his hands on his hips. _No wonder. The assassination orders came from Norg, not from Cid. He wouldn't kill his own wife, and he wouldn't make us do it if Seifer was already there with her._

"Anyway, after that, guess Cid didn't have any other messengers to trust, and he knew that we were pretty tight with Seifer, ya know?"

_Who doesn't?_

"Cid told us to find Seifer, but not to say anything to you about it, ya know? At the time, we didn't understand…we thought he was with you the whole time…but when you said that he was executed, I just thought it was kinda funny, ya know? Like it was a joke or somethin'."

_Yeah. Funny._

"SEARCH," Fujin stated.

"Yeah, so we went to Deling City to find him, ya know? It was the nearest spot…"

"So you found him?" Squall interrupted.

Raijin rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, we found him. He was surrounded by a buncha Galbadian soliders, and they were preparing somethin' big…"

_The parade._

"So we disguised ourselves as tourists, ya know?"

Squall suppressed the urge to chuckle. A petite woman with short, white hair and an eye patch with a large, burly loudmouth were hard to miss, even as tourists. Seifer must've noticed them a mile away.

"What message did you have to give him?"

Raijin glanced at Fujin. She shook her head.

"NOTHING."

"Yeah, Cid didn't even give us any orders to pass on to him," Raijin shrugged. "We thought it was weird, ya know, but Seifer didn't seem to care. He told us to send a message to Cid; that he was in Deling City with Matron and to send backups. We didn't really understand the message, ya know? We didn't know who Matron was supposed to be. But Seifer told us to tell Cid anyway. We wanted to stay and help, ya know, and we told him that we saw you guys in Galbadia Garden. That you might be the backups."

"UPSET," Fujin sighed and looked down.

"He didn't look good," Raijin nodded. "He seemed…I dunno, agitated. Jittery. A little out of it, ya know?"

_Sorceresses do that._

"He wouldn't let us stay. He made Galbadian soldiers escort us out, ya know? After that, we knew somethin' big was goin' down. After he heard that you guys were close by, he seemed to look more like his normal self."

"RELIEF," Fujin added.

"Yeah, though he'd never admit it, ya know?" Raijin smirked.

_He was hoping we'd get the job done._ Squall ran a hand through his hair and thought about that fateful night in Deling City, cursing Cid for not telling them the truth.

_Seifer…so he's alive._

"_Rinoa…Seifer's alive. He was in the parade with the sorceress."_

_Rinoa glanced up at him. A glimmer of fear flashed through her eyes. "What does it mean?"_

_Squall glanced away and shrugged dismissively. "Who knows." _

_If I were to face the sorceress directly…would I have to go through Seifer?_

_Squall gritted his teeth._

_That's the way it goes as a SeeD. You can't choose your enemies._

"_I may end up killing Seifer."_

_Rinoa swallowed and hugged herself. "You're both…prepared, right?"_

_Squall gave her a curt nod, although he didn't really know._

"_That's the kind of world you live in," Rinoa added in a shaky voice. "You've had a lot of emotional training. But….of course…I'd rather it not happen…"_

_Squall set his jaw and looked away._

_Me too._

"_It's all up to Irvine."_

_Except it didn't matter. Edea knew. She stopped the bullet. How did she know?_

Squall supposed the outcome was both good and bad. Good that Irvine didn't hit his mark; then Matron would be dead and Seifer's work would have been all for nothing. Cid would have been devastated. Bad that it didn't work; simply because of the horrendous domino effect it caused later on.

"Are you sure you didn't see the orders you gave to Martine?" Squall asked.

"POSITIVE."

"Yeah, we didn't look at the papers, ya know? Figured it was against protocol, ya know?"

"When you told Seifer that we were at Galbadia Garden, what else did you say?"

Raijin shrugged. "Just that you guys were close by and that you were given a mission."

Squall chewed the inside of his cheek in thought. _I wonder if Seifer somehow found out about the assassination. I wonder if he was forced to tell her that we were after her. I wonder if he did it to protect her. In a fucked up way. But does that make him a traitor or a SeeD just doing his duty?_ He put a hand to his forehead and sighed. _None of this shit makes any sense._

"After we were escorted out of Deling City, we came back to Balamb, ya know?" Raijin continued. "We didn't see Seifer again after that until later on."

Squall hadn't had much time to think about it in retrospect – shit, he'd been promoted to commander hours after the missile crisis – especially after the Norg/SeeD civil conflict, screwing around with the underground flight controls, and Balamb Garden crashing into Fisherman's Horizon, but he realized that Fujin and Raijin weren't spotted again until his team found them at the Balamb Inn.

"When the hell were you two authorized to leave Garden and go to Balamb Inn?" he asked. "Was Seifer in the area?"

Fujin and Raijin exchanged nervous glances again.

"ORDERS," Fujin replied.

"We were doin' our normal job, actin' as the disciplinary committee and all, after we hit Fisherman's Horizin, ya know?" Raijin said. "But once we went back to Balamb, Cid called us up to his office and told us to go check out the town, ya know?"

"SEARCH," Fujin nodded.

"Yeah, he wanted us to find out whether or not Seifer was around."

Squall crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes. When their team returned and led an inquiry in town, Galbadian soldiers kept referring to a 'commander,' who ultimately turned out to be Fujin. "Then how is it you ended up commanding Galbadian soldiers?"

"COINCIDENCE," Fujin shrugged.

"We found Seifer before you guys got there," Raijin nodded. "But he wasn't staying. He was leading a platoon of Galbadian soldiers, ya know? Said he had to find Ellone. When he saw us, though, he left us in charge of the platoon and hightailed it out of there, sayin' he had to get back to Matron, ya know? We were real confused."

_I'll bet._

"So the Galbadian soldiers listened to you?"

"AFFIRMATIVE."

"They didn't seem to know what was going on either, ya know? Nobody seemed to know who was in charge, really. Said they had orders to find a girl named 'Ellone,' but that was about it. Since she wasn't even in Balamb, we all just ended up standin' around doin' nothin', ya know?"

Squall curled a lip. "Then why did you fight us??"

"Seifer told us to, ya know? He said to give you a whoopin' if we saw you."

_Hyne. If Seifer told them to jump off a cliff, they'd get a running start and do a triple-backflip off of it._

Squall sighed and rubbed his eyes with his thumb and index finger. "Okay. Let me get this straight. Headmaster Cid told you to find Seifer. You found him in Balamb, but then he left you in charge of a unit of Galbadian Soldiers. Afterwards, you wasted time loitering around Balamb until we showed up, and then you fought us – for no apparent reason – because Seifer told you to?"

Raijin nodded.

"ORDERS," Fujin repeated again.

"Headmaster Cid told us to listen to whatever Seifer had to say, ya know? Even if Seifer needed help, ya know? Even if what he said didn't make any sense, ya know?"

_Oh. Could've mentioned that earlier._

"Then I guess you went back to Cid to file a report?"

"Yeah. Told him that Seifer was looking for Ellone and that he went back to Matron. Cid got real quiet after that, ya know? Told us to keep out of sight, not to tell anyone what happened. Especially after fightin' you guys, ya know?"

_Yeah. This whole time I thought they had abandoned Garden to follow Seifer. _

"ANTICIPATION," Fujin sighed.

"All we had to do was wait," Rajin nodded. "We couldn't find Seifer again until he showed himself."

_He showed himself, all right. He rolled out the welcome mat when he showed up with Galbadia Garden at Matron's house. Hyne, he caused so much damage. How could he do that? Why did he do it?_

Squall sighed.

_Probably because he had no other choice. Edea was aboard Galbadia Garden the entire time, and we still couldn't manage to bring her down. But…_

_Seifer grinned at them and tapped his foot anxiously, gripping Hyperion and pointing it at Squall's head._

"_Oh, you guys shouldn't have!" An almost feral gleam in his green eyes flashed briskly before disappearing. "I was gonna come visit you at my old home!"_

"_Shut up!" Squall snarled, holding his gunblade ready in front of him._

"_Did you guys come to fight Matron?" Seifer asked, grinning at them. "After all that she's done for us?" He glanced back and forth at the group, his eyes scanning Irvine, Selphie, Rinoa, Squall, Zell, and Quistis. He blinked upon seeing her expression and held her gaze for only a split second, immediately setting his jaw and turning his attentions back to Zell. A sneer formed on his face._

"_Hey, Chicken-wuss. A lot's happened between us, eh?"_

"_Yeah!" Zell growled, clenching his fists tighter. "I'm dyin' to get even!"_

_Seifer's gaze flicked to Rinoa. "Rinoa, what are you doing here?" He gave her a sweet, sickening smile. "You gonna fight me, too?"_

_Rinoa narrowed her eyes and clenched her fists at her sides._

_Seifer licked his lips. "Come on. Remember a year ago, when we…"_

"_Stop it!" she shouted._

"_It's too late, Seifer," Squall stepped in front of Rinoa angrily. "You can't mess with our minds. To us, you're just another enemy, like one of those monsters."_

_Seifer glared at Squall ferociously. After a pause, he let out a bitter chuckle. "You're comparing ME to one of them? I ain't no monster, Squall. Didn't you know? I'm the sorceress's knight." He cocked his head towards the group and slashed Hyperion through the air, motioning to them. "Look at you. Acting like a swarm. You guys are the monsters."_

_Whatever helps you sleep at night, you treacherous asshole._

_Seifer stole one last, quick glance at Quistis. She was holding Save the Queen ready, but she hadn't moved. She seemed numb…expressionless…_

_Dead inside._

_Join the club._

Seifer lost easily. Too easily. Squall, Irvine, and Zell were the ones who'd laid it on thick. Selphie had cast a few nasty spells on him to wear him out, but Quistis and Rinoa had barely made a move. Mostly in defense, and they'd cast plenty of shell and protect spells on the group, but they'd hardly ever attack.

_Seifer lost, and Edea showed herself. We got Maton back…but then…then Rinoa…_

If Seifer was undercover, then technically his mission had ended when Ultimecia possessed Rinoa and left Matron alone. Matron returned to Cid with minor cuts and bruises and magic burns, but Seifer was nowhere to be found after that.

_Did he crack?_

Squall glanced up at Fujin and Raijin.

"What were you two doing in Lunatic Pandora?"

"When you took Rinoa to Esthar, Cid asked us to find Seifer again, ya know?" Raijin replied. "That's when we finally met Matron. She was up in his office. We had no idea that Edea was the same Matron that Seifer was talkin' about, ya know?"

"CONFUSED," Fujin said in a bitter tone.

"Yeah, we wanted to know what was goin' on, ya know? We thought Seifer was in some sort of trouble. That's when Cid told us that he received word Seifer was in Esthar. Didn't know why, ya know? And he still commanded the Galbadian army. Somethin' weird was goin' down, ya know? Cid explained to us that Seifer was an undercover SeeD and was on a mission to spy on the sorceress, ya know? It was pretty deep. We were shocked, ya know?"

_Even Raijin and Fujin knew before we did. Thanks for the confidence, Cid._

"PROUD," Fujin grinned.

"Yeah, we always knew Seifer could do it, ya know?"

Squall rolled his eyes.

"Edea said she knew why Seifer was looking for Ellone, so Cid told us to follow him. Edea had to go to Esthar to see some doctor, ya know?" Raijin shrugged. "After she left with you guys, we left shortly after to look for Seifer."

Squall blinked and thought about his conversation with Matron after the fight on Galbadia Garden. Seifer had fled, Rinoa was in a coma, and they had no leads.

"_I have been possessed all this time," Edea said sadly, watching the swaying wildflowers in the spring breeze. The orphanage wasn't what it used to be; its pillars were cracked and crumbling from years of harsh weather, the floorboards were creaky and warped, and weeds had dominated the walkways due to neglect._

"_I was at the mercy of Sorceress Ultimecia," she continued. "Ultimecia is a sorceress from the future – a sorceress many generations ahead of our time. Ultimecia's objective is to find Ellone…she is after Ellone's mysterious power. I knew Ellone very well. Ultimecia is a very fearful sorceress…her heart is filled with anger and hate. The only thing I could do was…surrender my soul to Ultimecia and lose control of my mind. That was the only way I could save Ellone. And the end result…well, you all know. The sorceress that appeared in Galbadia was in fact Ultimecia…inside my shell…" She drifted off and swallowed back tears. Squall remained silent._

"_Ultimecia has yet to achieve her goal," Matron finally continued. "I believe she may use my body again to carry out her plans. I plan to make a stand this time, but…if that does not work…I may have to face you in battle once again. I ask for your support, young SeeDs."_

_But why in the hell did Seifer go to Esthar?_

"How did you find him?"

"We knew that Seifer was commanding the Galbadian army, ya know? So we just found a unit and told them to take us to him. It was pretty easy, ya know? We caught up with him when he was excavatin' the Lunatic Pandora."

"If Seifer was an undercover SeeD, why did he activate the Lunatic Pandora?" Squall asked.

Raijin and Fujin looked at each other.

"We don't know."

"He didn't mention any of his plans to you? He didn't explain why he took it to Tear's Point?"

Fujin and Rajin shook their heads.

Squall furrowed his brow. "Why did you guys kidnap Ellone?"

"WRONG," Fujin snarled.

"We didn't kidnap her, ya know? Seifer told us to keep her safe, ya know? We found her in a smashed-up escape pod, after the whole Lunar Cry thing happened. She was pretty hurt, ya know? But Fujin cured her and we brought her to Seifer. He said not to let her out of our sight, not even if you guys tried to come and take her back, ya know?"

_This is too fucking weird. Why the hell did Seifer go so far…?_

"So you have no idea why Seifer wanted Ellone?"

"Not really. Said he wanted to keep her safe, ya know?"

_Yeah, sure. Of all fucking places, in Lunatic Pandora._

"What about when he tossed Rinoa to Adel?"

Fujin and Raijin looked at each other.

"UNKNOWN," Fujin shook her head.

"Didn't know he did that, ya know?" Raijin responded quietly. "We haven't had time to ask Seifer any questions since he got back either, ya know? He's been in his room or in Cid's office, too busy or too tired to talk, ya know?"

_Yeah._

Squall finally nodded. "I…I really appreciate your answering my questions. I know I had a lot…"

"S'okay, Squall. We've all got a lot of questions, ya know? We haven't even been able to make a buncha sense out of it, ya know?"

"TROUBLING."

"The only one who really knows what happened is Seifer, ya know? But we think it's too soon to be askin' him questions, ya know? I guess you could always try…"

_Fuck a bunch of that._

"No, it's okay," Squall replied. "At least I understand now where you guys were coming from. I just had to know, that's all."

Raijin nodded. "Yeah. Well, take it easy Squall. We'll see ya around, ya know?"

Fujin gave Squall a curt nod.

Squall nodded back. "Yeah."

They both turned around and headed down the hallway, and Squall made his way back towards the quad. There were still plenty of unanswered questions he'd wanted to figure out…like why Seifer purposely started a near-apocalypse by throwing Rinoa to Adel…

Squall sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

_Rinoa._

He knew he had to tell her. Seifer was back in Balamb Garden and was probably going to be decorated as a hero. A SeeD that contributed to the downfall of the evil sorceress. But how was he going to deliver the news?

He turned down a hallway leading to the girls' dormitories, his heart sinking with every step. Even if he told her, even if she understood, even if she forgave Seifer…he still didn't have the answers for her. He still couldn't explain why Seifer forced his gunblade against her throat and shoved her in front of what was considered the most evil sorceress the world had ever seen during the first Sorceress War. Undercover or no…it was unforgivable. After all, there was really no reason for his actions that day…

Was there?


	5. Insomnia

* * *

_**"...You send me to a broken state where I can take the pain j**__**ust long enough **_

_**That I am numb...**_

_**That I just disappear...**_

_**So go on and fight me, go on and scare me to death**_

_**Tell me I asked for it, tell me I'll never forget...**_

_**You could give me anything but love..."**_

_"S.O.S. (Anything but Love)"_ by Apocalyptica (feat. Cristina Scabbia)

* * *

Seifer rubbed his eyes and sat up. He coughed once and ran a hand through his hair.

_Fuck. Why did time compression make everyone so fucking tired?_

The naps, which were light, sporadic, and full of out-of-sequence nightmares and flashbacks, were still a reprieve from being awake. He didn't quite want to go walking around Garden yet, but he was getting stir-crazy in his room. There were still boxes marked _'confidential'_ that needed to be unpacked. Most of them were full of his old schoolbooks and weapons magazines. He was surprised to find that even a few copies of _Girls Next Door_ had been salvaged. Whoever went through his room at least had a streak of mercy.

Other items, like a small TV set, his gunblade case, and a radio were really the only other things he had to keep himself occupied. He'd hardly ever stayed in his room before the Second Sorceress War. Those were the days. All he had to do to keep himself entertained was either go to class and bug Quistis or spend time in the hallways with Fujin and Raijin as part of the disciplinary committee.

Those days were dead.

For all he knew, Trepe didn't teach any more, and because he was a SeeD, additional courses weren't necessary.

_Thank Hyne._

But it seemed pointless to be back on the disciplinary committee once again. He'd given orders to Galbadian soldiers and coordinated attacks against fellow SeeDs. Slapping violations on students for running in the hallways just didn't compare.

Raijin and Fujin had stopped by earlier to give him a take-out box full of shitty cafeteria chili and cheeseburgers, but he was grateful he wouldn't have to venture out to the quad, where he was sure he'd be stared at by the rest of the sheep.

There was a time when he'd bask in the attention. He liked his reputation – most of the students feared him. At the time, he thought he was demanding respect by striking fear in the hearts of others.

Then he got a taste of it through Edea's wrath.

He was there when she shoved her hand into President Deling's chest cavity and burned him alive from the inside out. He was there when she made fucking lizard statues come alive and attack Rinoa. He was there when she launched a gigantic icicle through Squall's upper torso.

He didn't want the students of Garden looking at him like he was some sort of psycho. He'd endured enough of it from the Galbadian soldiers and the citizens of Deling City, Balamb, and even Esthar. He was okay with being hated – but he didn't want people to look at him the way they all looked at Edea. He was tired of people believing that he was the sorceress's 'knight.' He was tired of being called 'lapdog.'

Mostly, he was just _tired_.

Seifer rubbed his eyes again and glanced at the digital clock. 1814 hours. He'd slept all afternoon.

_Shit._

Now what? Sleep more? He didn't feel like it. His dreams didn't make any sense, really – they were all fleeting puzzle pieces of war and terror, but they were still memorable enough to give him an idea of what they were supposed to be about. He'd just come back from that shit. He didn't need to dream about it.

He stood up and slipped a pair of sweatpants over his boxer shorts, then drew a ratty black t-shirt from an opened box and pulled it over his head.

Boots. Boots. Where the fuck were his boots?

Seifer rubbed his eyes and blinked.

_Fuck._ He still felt lethargic from the time compression. Although Squall and the others had literally traveled through time with Ellone's help to destroy Ultimecia, the rest of the world hadn't been ignored from the witch's little stunt. As Ultimecia had used her consciousness to travel backwards and left her physical state in the future, she had managed to successfully compress time. Even though it was her goal from the start, the SeeDs had no other choice than to let her go through with it, as it was the only real way to destroy her. Squall, Zell, Quistis, Rinoa, Irvine, and Selphie all followed Ultimecia – and the rest were left behind. Space and time were bent. The laws of physics were skewed. The consciousness was separated from the body. Shit, even atoms and molecules were scattered into random space and time.

_Whatever. Thank Hyne my dick is still in one piece and not protruding from my head or anything._

To this day, Seifer had no idea how Squall and the others had managed to destroy the sorceress without destroying (or even altering) everything else under her control, including time – they probably didn't understand it either – but he knew that Ellone had something to do with it.

Ellone. Sis. She was currently in Esthar and being treated in a private medical facility. Last Seifer heard, she had suffered severe head trauma – after "connecting" a possessed Rinoa to the past, bringing her back to the present, then ultimately helping Squall and the others to the quasi-time compressed future to fight Ultimecia. The catch was that she had to somehow hold onto them so they wouldn't get completely lost in the time flow. He'd heard that the moment time was restored, Ellone had a severe nosebleed and passed out.

Everyone came back in one piece, but for a price. Some came back earlier than others. Squall and Rinoa were recovered near the old orphanage. Quistis and Zell were found on the outskirts of Esthar, unconscious. Irvine and Selphie were all the way up in Trabia. Seifer woke up in a hospital bed to a nurse trying to stick a needle in his arm. It was only until four guards, two nurses, and one doctor came to restrain him and calm him down that he realized that it had been almost two days since he was in Lunatic Pandora, forcing Rinoa towards Adel.

"_His vital signs are normal. Seems to be doing okay for the moment."_

_Where the fuck am I?_

"_Keep an eye on him. Has the president been informed?"_

"_Yes, sir. The president has been up to speed on everything that's been happening, including the condition of Ellone and the other SeeD that has been accounted for."_

"_Which SeeD? Is it Leonhart?"_

"_No, sir. Zell Dincht."_

_Chicken-wuss?_

"_All right. I want a report every hour. Notify me as soon as any other SeeD cadets come in."_

"_Yes, commander Kiros."_

_Kiros? _

_He was floating. Floating in darkness, hearing random snippets of conversation that seemed to echo and bounce off of everything and nothing, but it didn't make sense. He couldn't feel anything. He couldn't see anything. But he knew he was floating. Detached…_

_Where am I?_

"_Doctor, I'm receiving some activity."_

"_Good. Monitor it closely. He's making progress. How's Dincht?"_

"_Vital signs are just like the rest, I'm afraid. A lot have been coming in lately in some sort of strange coma."_

_What the fuck? Is Chicken-wuss hurt?_

"_I want the SeeDs under constant surveillance. Report any changes; these orders come directly from the president."_

"_Yes, doctor."_

_Why can't I wake up? Is this a dream?_

_There was just darkness. The conversations trickled in more loudly and quickly than before. Footsteps, shuffling and sweeping of fabric, and a constant beeping sound pricked his senses. He struggled to open his eyelids, but some unknown force wouldn't allow it. He wasn't floating anymore. He was stationary. Something heavy seemed to be holding him down…_

"_Sir! Sir! A SeeD has been found just outside of Esthar, sir! The guards are bringing her in now!"_

"_What's her status?"_

"_Comatose, sir! Just like the rest!"_

"_Physical condition?"_

"_Seems to be unharmed, sir. A few bruises but it appears she sustained minimal casualties."_

"_Bring her in! Hurry! Set her down there. Nurse! I want a saline drip ready! Check her blood pressure…pupils unresponsive. Heart rate?"_

"_Low, doctor, but she's alive. A little dehydrated…she'll be okay."_

"_Inform the president at once that SeeD Quistis Trepe has been recovered."_

_Quistis?_

"_Yes, sir!"_

_What's wrong with Quistis? Why can't I remember anything? Where the fuck am I, and where the fuck is Quistis?_

"_Doctor! It's SeeD cadet Almasy! I'm getting a lot of activity here!"_

"_Not now! I'm busy!"_

"_Heart rate is spiking, doctor! Brain patterns are starting to increase…"_

"_How fast?"_

"_I…I can't…"_

"_Damn it. Someone get over there and help her. Sedate that SeeD so he doesn't wake up and go into a complete panic attack. I've got to deal with Miss Trepe here."_

_What are they doing to Quistis?_

_An incredibly sharp pinch and a burning sensation erupted in the crook of his arm. Seifer's eyes snapped open and he immediately sat up and grabbed the first throat he could lay his hands on._

_He was captured. He was being experimented on. He was being tortured. Ultimecia somehow managed to put a hospital robe on him and hooked him up to a heart-rate monitor and…_

…_the fuck?_

_A female nurse was clawing at his wrist and choking, sputtering out panicked pleas._

"_Wait….stop…please…"_

_A needle was protruding from his arm and he yanked it out, tossing it aside. He curled his lip at the nurse. It had to be a trick. He squeezed harder. "Where am I?"_

_Another nurse sprinted over and grabbed at his arm. "Stop! Let her go! You're in a hospital! We're trying to help you!"_

"_Sedate that SeeD immediately!" a voice bellowed, echoing out into the large hall._

_Seifer attempted to leave the bed, but patches connected to wires and needles leading to tubes of saline drips were already spread throughout his arms, torso and forehead, practically yanking him backwards as he tried to sit forward. Two Esthar soldiers immediately ran up and pressed him back down as the nurse forcefully pried Seifer's fingers off of the other nurse's neck. She stumbled back and coughed as another Esthar soldier stepped in front of her and grabbed Seifer's wrist, pushing his shoulder down._

"_What are you doing?" Seifer yelled. "What the fuck is this? Where the fuck am I?"_

"_You're in a hospital," an Esthar guard replied. "Calm down! Relax, Mister Almasy, and we'll explain everything to you!"_

_Seifer glanced around wildly. "How do you know my name?"_

"_Please, try to relax! Sit back, please!"_

"_Fuck you!" Seifer growled. "Where is she? What have you done with her?"_

"_Mister Almasy, you'll have to remain still - "_

"_The sorceress is gone," another soldier answered._

_Sorceress?_

"_Nurse!"_

"_I'm coming!"_

"_LET GO OF ME!" Seifer bellowed. "Where is she?? What are you doing to her??"_

"_He's getting a nosebleed," another nurse cried out. "Tilt his head back!"_

"_Heart rate increasing," another voice warned loudly over the beeping of the machine._

"_Here! Here!" another nurse came running into the fray, holding a syringe._

"_It's all right!" an Esthar soldier replied. "They've eliminated the sorceress. The war is over."_

"_I'm not talking about a fucking sorceress," Seifer barked. "Get your fucking hands off me! Where's Quistis??"_

_The nurse jammed the needle into Seifer's arm and he growled out more obscenities as the Esthar soldiers were holding him down. There were now four that had to come and restrain him; one at each leg, one at his left shoulder, and another holding his wrist out so the nurse could access his arm._

_Immediately he felt drowsy. Warm liquid oozed down his upper lip and a nurse gently swabbed it clean. He slowly blinked and his head bobbed. The room started to get blurry and his breathing slowed._

"_Heart rate normalizing…" a voice sighed. "Brain patterns are slowing down, but fully functional."_

"_If you…touch her…" Seifer groaned at them, trying to sound menacing but instead achieving only a soft, slurred sentence. He struggled to keep his eyelids from shutting, but they were just too heavy._

_Darkness enveloped him again, but this time the echoes faded away into silence._

He regained total consciousness a day later, not remembering anything that had happened. A nurse had come to treat him, removing the saline drips and monitoring his brain activity and heart rate, and he remembered asking her where she got all those bruises on her neck. She simply glared at him. Later on, an Esthar soldier told him how he needed to be restrained since he almost choked her to death.

He chuckled to himself. Even when he was halfway out of his mind, he still managed to be an asshole.

_Oh well._

He was up and walking around within hours. He, along with countless others, had been placed in an enormous hospital wing in Esthar, mimicking a wide hallway with tall windows and a high ceiling, lined with beds hooked up to monitors and drips. It turned out that Quistis was in a hospital bed across from Seifer's. Zell was next to her. They were still unconscious when Seifer had to leave the hospital to report to Cid, but the nurses assured him that they would wake relatively soon.

Apparently most of the population had fallen into a coma after time compression and the doctors, nurses, and soldiers were working around the clock, making room wherever possible. Due to Odine's research, however, the doctors were able to anticipate relatively quick recoveries and the transition from mentally brain-dead to full consciousness went rather smoothly. Seifer, Laguna, Kiros, Ward, and Odine's researchers were the fastest to recover, simply because they knew what to expect from time compression. It took more time with others. Ellone had suffered the worst of it. Nobody was allowed to see her, not even the SeeDs.

Most of the population woke up gradually. Some were faster than others. Eventually, the consciousness would return to the physical body after being torn apart from time compression. Some didn't even know what was going on and returned to life like nothing had even happened. Some didn't even experience the side effects. Others weren't so fortunate and remained in comas. Vertigo, nausea, and nosebleeds were common. Exhaustion was also another side effect. Nobody had been geographically displaced except for Squall and his team, who were scattered across the globe.

The next time he saw them all was in Cid's office. They'd all glared at him in hatred.

_Home sweet home._

Deciding against food, Seifer figured that he could go for a walk around campus, opting to endure everyone's stares. He was getting bored in his room, and he was sick of hiding out.

_Fuck 'em. I live here too. Boots._

He dug his boots out from under the bed and slipped them on, sloppily tying the laces and grabbing a standard-issue black SeeD trench coat from his closet. Although he still had his grey trench coat, it was worn, dirty, and tattered. It brought back too many sour memories. Memories best forgotten. He doubted he'd ever wear that coat again.

He grabbed his keycard and threw the coat on, stepping out of his dormitory and heading down the hallway towards the west wing of the campus quad.

Once he passed the quad, Seifer pulled out a pack of cigarettes and smacked it a couple times to pack the tobacco, turning a corner and heading towards a balcony past the west wing that overlooked the outdoors. Technically, the west wing didn't have a roof. It was an outdoor partition of campus that students could mingle in and out between class breaks. Not a whole lot of students ventured this way, at least not when it was technically a school night and it was still relatively chilly outside. He hoped he'd be able to get a bit of privacy and a breath of fresh nicotine, maybe just relax a little bit and think on his own outside of the confines of his own room…

As soon as he pulled out a cigarette and approached the balcony, he saw that it was already occupied and suddenly halted.

_Aw, shiiiit._

Rinoa was standing out on the balcony admiring the stars overhead. Seifer glanced around. Either Squall was busy, was going to meet her here, or he was behind a corner waiting for an ambush.

_Ambush? That time-traveling bitch sure has made me paranoid._

Very quietly, Seifer turned around and headed back the way he came. He most certainly did not want to face Rinoa, at least not so soon, and he was pretty sure her night would be ruined if she noticed him. Fuck, it was only a week ago he put his gunblade to her throat. He imagined the awkward conversation they would have if she caught him.

_Hey, Rinoa. Nice to see you. Glad Adel didn't suck you dry. No hard feelings?_

He was practically tip-toeing away from the area, not making a sound. Rinoa hadn't noticed anything, and he didn't dare glance behind him. He hoped upon everything holy that Squall didn't turn the bend that very minute. Now _that_ was shit he just did not need. Talk about one fucked up mental ménage à trois.

He was nearly around the corner when he heard her voice, soft as silk, but powerful enough to shatter the fragile silence and stop him in his tracks.

"Hello, Seifer."

_Oh, fuck me._

He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and lowered his head. He put the cigarette in his mouth, opened his palm, lit it with a controlled spout of fire, took in a drag, and let it out with another sigh.

_I'm gonna need plenty of nicotine for this._

He slowly turned around and faced her. She was standing there quietly, still on the balcony, facing him with her hands folded in front of her. She wasn't quite smiling at him, but he was surprised to find that she didn't look upset, angry, or even scared. She just looked…

Seifer took a step forward and cleared his throat. "You look good, Rinoa."

Rinoa lowered her head and shifted her feet. "Thank you."

He examined his cigarette, flicked the ash off, and hesitated. There was really nothing he could say to her, and nothing had come to mind. He wasn't quite ready to explain himself, and he was terrible at apologizing. What's worse is that he did the right thing, so technically _they_ should be apologizing to _him_. It's just that nobody understood. He lifted the cigarette and took another drag, averting her gaze.

"I didn't know you smoked," Rinoa broke the silence with a casual attempt to make light conversation.

Seifer exhaled and shrugged. "I didn't. It wasn't really until…until I, uh…well, long nights and all that…had to keep alert…"

He stumbled with the words, unsure whether or not to mention the sorceress in front of her. He was quite aware of the new taboos in Garden about mentioning crazy-psycho-bitch Ultimecia to Matron and Rinoa. It was painful enough to even think about…who knew what two of the most kind-hearted women he ever met went through. Best not to even bring it up. That, and he wasn't even sure if Rinoa knew he was SeeD.

Rinoa looked down and nodded. "You should quit."

Seifer flicked the ash off and took in another drag. "Yeah."

"I mean…now that you don't have a reason to smoke, I mean," Rinoa shrugged.

The truth was he never started smoking until he went undercover. Finding Edea was easy enough, and shortly after she gave him command of the Galbadian army, he initially assumed that the mission was going to be simpler than Cid had thought. However, Edea did not like mistakes. She killed on a whim. Vinzer Deling just happened to be there. Releasing the lizards on Rinoa was simply out of sport. As soon as he came to find that her goal was to hunt down and murder every existing SeeD, he became more careful – for himself, Squall's team, and for the rest of Garden. In order to lead the Galbadian army and follow Edea's command without blowing his cover, he'd have to calculate his attacks and estimate the perfect timing for everything to minimize casualties. The planning and coordination took extreme measures of patience and diligence. It was hard to do with a murderous sorceress looking over his shoulder. He was her "knight." Looking and acting the part was the hardest. Every day he'd wanted to end it and kill her himself, but he didn't. Every day he wanted to quit and go AWOL, but he couldn't. Every day he thought he was going to die a terrible death, but he didn't. The stress was agonizing. One night, he caught a Galbadian soldier on a smoke break and asked for a cigarette. Since then, he'd taken up smoking just to calm his nerves. No matter what, he had to act composed and cool under the immense pressure he was put in, or he'd be dead…and so would everyone else.

_There are worse things than smoking, _Seifer thought darkly._ Like the end of the world._

"…Yeah."

There was another long, awkward pause. Seifer had finished his cigarette and stomped out the butt, but he still wouldn't meet her gaze. He knew he should say something to her, but had no clue where to begin. There was one point in time when he felt like he could say anything to her and she'd understand, but not anymore. Back then, she'd always listened. She'd always smile and nod. Maybe she was just _too_ nice. Maybe that's why he decided to break it off that summer. He wasn't sure what it was about Rinoa – she was beautiful and she had a good head on her shoulders – but to his chagrin, Seifer found himself comparing her to someone else he knew. For some reason, he had grown used to being kept in check once in awhile, even if Quistis Trepe did it in the bitchiest way possible. He knew the instructor had high expectations of him; he just didn't feel like meeting them and greeted her constant disappointment instead. To Rinoa, the sky was the limit, even if her dreams were completely unrealistic, and she encouraged him to follow her every step of the way, shrugging off inevitable failure.

It was like choosing poison.

Seifer found the relationship a bit odd after awhile. He enjoyed Rinoa's carefree spirit, but eventually he felt like a coddled puppy that could run off and do anything without suffering any consequences. Quistis treated him the exact opposite – he wasn't a puppy, he was a soldier, and he would always face consequences until the day he died. Rinoa was pink, fluffy cotton candy, bubbles and rainbows, stuffed animals and ballerinas. Quistis was a kick in the fucking balls, black and blue and blood, no-nonsense cynicism, weapons, books, and detentions.

Ultimately, the masochist in him preferred weapons, blood, and cynicism. Fuck pink. That, and Trepe looked good in a short-skirted uniform when she was teaching her no-nonsense bullshit.

Not that he liked Quistis or anything. She was a stuck-up, bossy bitch.

But at least he'd figured out that he preferred blondes with a hard-ass attitude.

In the end, Rinoa's happy-go-lucky mind-set began to grind on Seifer as annoying and needy, so he abandoned her and her dreams for more detentions and disappointment in Garden.

He'd always wondered how someone like Squall could put up with Rinoa's shit.

Nevertheless, Seifer still regarded Rinoa with respect, especially since she'd been through hell. Especially since he was the one that put her there. He knew he owed her an explanation.

"Look…Rinoa…I just…I hope…I want you to know that what I did to you - "

"I know," Rinoa interrupted him softly. "Squall told me."

Seifer glanced up, finally meeting her soft, brown eyes. "He did?"

Rinoa nodded. "Although we still don't understand some of your motives - "

"Rinoa - "

" – it's okay," she held up her hand and stepped forward. "It's okay if you don't want to tell me right now. It's too soon…for all of us. I'm not going to force you to explain anything. It will come in time, won't it?"

_Time. Ha. Depends on your definition of what the fuck time is._ Seifer shrugged and looked down. "Yeah…I guess."

"I'll understand if you don't want to talk about it," she put her hands behind her back and shuffled her feet. "I know how you feel. I really don't want to talk about my experiences, either…at least not yet…"

Seifer glanced away and felt a pang of guilt.

"But I guess that's what the whole mental evaluation thing is for," she sighed. "Maybe we'll be ready to talk about it more after that."

Seifer furrowed his brows at her. "What mental evaluation?"

"Cid told us that we all have to undergo psychoanalysis due to our unusual experiences," Rinoa told him. "And because of time compression."

_Hyne. One last thing I need. Bleeding fucking hearts. How many times do I have to reiterate the story to people? Dr. Kadowaki isn't going to give two shits, and it's certainly not going to help me sleep better at night._

Seifer crossed his arms and let out a sigh. Rinoa glanced at him.

"Don't worry," she smiled. "Quistis will be helping out."

Seifer narrowed his eyes in disbelief. _Trepe?_ "What?"

"She's assisting Dr. Kadowaki," Rinoa clasped her hands together. "I'm glad she'll be the one to listen to me. I'll feel more comfortable with her."

_Fucking Hyne._

"Wait," Seifer held up a hand, "you're telling me that Quistis is going to be the one doing our mental evaluations?"

Rinoa nodded. "I don't know how many students she's been assigned, since she has to finish her own evaluation first, but I'm pretty sure she'll be helping us since she can relate to our experiences."

Seifer snorted. "Yeah, sure."

_Great. Fucking great. Never mind she's been mentally evaluating me since fucking childhood._

Rinoa ignored his scowl and shrugged. "It'll be good for us. Squall says - "

"Rinoa." Squall's quiet, monotone voice rung out behind Seifer. She lifted her eyes and smiled at him. Seifer turned around to find Squall standing several feet away with his arms crossed. He looked the same as ever, a blank, unreadable expression on his face mixed with a hint of impatience, but Seifer noticed that he didn't have that spark of hatred in his eyes.

_Well, at least he doesn't want to kill me. An improvement from last week._

Seifer and Squall locked eyes for a second, but for once, both of them were really too tired to deal with it. The rivalry was there, as it always was, but they ignored it for now. Squall set his jaw and gave Seifer a curt nod. Seifer simply held his gaze with a neutral stare.

"You should get your rest," Squall glanced at Rinoa.

Seifer knew better. Squall wanted to get Rinoa away from him.

Rinoa nodded. "Yeah. I just wanted to come out and see the stars for a bit."

_Guh. Another reason I broke it off,_ Seifer thought. _Lame._

Squall nodded. "Come on."

Rinoa glanced at Seifer and gave him a weak smile when she passed him. "Um, I'll see you later, okay?"

Seifer leaned against the wall and looked down. "Yeah."

Squall glanced at Seifer once more before turning around, walking Rinoa back indoors. Seifer watched as he put his hand in the small of Rinoa's back protectively and led her towards the quad. She leaned into him and clutched his arm as they both walked silently together. Seifer rolled his eyes and snorted, pulling out another cigarette from the box.

_Poor sap. Better him than me._

He walked up to the balcony, leaned against the edge, and lit the cigarette. He thought about Rinoa's words about the mental eval. He knew that all the SeeDs had to do it after a mission, and he knew his would come sooner or later, but he had no idea that Quistis was going to be a part of it.

_Must've been what Cid wanted to talk to her about._

He remembered passing by her as she stood at attention in Cid's office. She never once looked at him. Not once. She probably hated his guts.

If _that_ wasn't a conflict of interest, he didn't know what was. How in the hell could _she_ possibly help him? What the fuck could he possibly tell her that she didn't already know? How in the hell were they going to get along in the same room for more than five minutes? What the hell was Cid thinking?

Seifer took in a drag, exhaled, and stared out at the dark clouds on the horizon.

_Quistis._

She probably didn't even remember how she got back from time compression in the first place. He'd tried to tell her in the Lunatic Pandora. The look on her face in Cid's office said it all, though.

She'd forgotten.

And now he was expected to sit with her and talk about _feelings?_

_Fuck that._

Seifer rubbed his forehead and sighed.

"Shit."

. . . . . .

"_Wake up, instructor."_

_Who is that?_

"_Wake up."_

_I…I can't…I'm trying…Where are you?_

"_You have to remember."_

…_Remember what?_

"_Quistis."_

…_Is it you? Why can't I see you? I can't…I don't know where I am…_

"_Remember what I said."_

_I can't see anything…I can't feel anything…I'm lost…lost…help me…_

"_Come back to this place. Remember me. Remember what I said."_

_I'm scared…I can't see anything…I'm lost…_

"_Wake up."_

Quistis jerked awake and sat up, breathing in panicked breaths. Her face was wet with tears. She was crying in her sleep. With a shaky hand, she moved her hair out of her face and glanced at her clock. 0418 hours.

_The dream again._

It was one of those dreams that made no sense, but there was still plenty going on in it. She was always running, trying to find something…someone…but never managing to find her way. She was in the dark, trying to follow the voice, floating in the middle of nowhere, not quite sure what to do…until she would panic and try to scream. She was screaming for something – anything – so maybe that someone would hear her and come to her aid. But nobody ever did.

She let out a sob and immediately wiped her eyes.

_Get a hold of yourself. It's just a dream._

She automatically scanned the room for familiar visuals. Clock. Nightstand. Boots. Paintings. Bedspread. Quistis took a deep breath and clutched the sheets tightly, then swung her feet over the side and rested her elbows on her knees, holding her forehead and forcing herself to get a grip.

_I'm going bonkers._

Something warm and wet was dripping from her nose. She wiped it absentmindedly, thinking that it was running, and then looked down at her fingers.

A dark liquid was smeared across her hand. From the faint moonlight drifting in through her window and the green glow of the alarm clock, it looked almost black.

_Blood._

She sighed. _Dammit._

A day after Dr. Kadowaki's session and she didn't seem to be improving all that much. If anything, forcing her to reiterate the past just brought the memories back swiftly and painfully. The dreams didn't show any signs of letting up, and she was only halfway truthful when she'd told Dr. Kadowaki about her nosebleeds. Those weren't letting up either, and seemed concomitant with her dreams.

She sniffed and pinched her nose, heading to the bathroom to grab a tissue. She blinked twice after flipping the light on and automatically grabbed for the tissue without looking, holding it to her nose and closing her eyes, sinking down onto the closed toilet seat.

_Why was this happening?_

She knew time compression wasn't natural. It wasn't healthy. Hyne knew what it did to the mind while the body was technically brain-dead. And how did the body survive without the mind?

_It's 0420 hours. Who cares._

There was nothing out of the ordinary that she could really pinpoint after coming back from time compression. Everyone had seemed normal. Healthy. She'd gained her memories back after disjunctioning her guardian forces, but there were still a few puzzle pieces missing. She didn't remember blacking out before the fight with Adel, but apparently she had. She couldn't remember anything from Lunatic Pandora besides crashing into it with the Ragnarok and fighting with Fujin and Raijin. The rest after that was a total blur. Then, of course, Squall, Zell, and Irvine fought Adel, Rinoa was freed…and time compression began shortly after that.

But what the hell happened between the two battles? She didn't even remember navigating through the massive complex.

_It's 0420 hours. Who the hell cares?!_

She grew agitated by the fact that she couldn't remember. She grew even more agitated that she wasn't able to get a good night's rest without waking up to the same stupid nightmare. A nightmare that meant nothing and should scare small children, not SeeDs.

The memories of fighting Ultimecia came and went. She couldn't quite remember. She didn't know if it was due to memory loss or just her way of blocking it out.

They'd all met up at Edea's house, but the spring breeze and the rustling of the tall grass speckled with hundreds of wildflowers were gone. The gigantic moon's light was cold and pale. There was no blue sky. Everything was grey. The earth was cracked and dry. Nothing grew. Edea's simple house by the beach was completely gone. In its place was a dark, ominous mansion that floated midair on a rocky landmass anchored by thick chains. Black shadows swept up around them and dissipated into nothingness, as if a black hole would tear through the atmosphere and close again due to the unstable time distortions. Once in awhile, static electricity would erupt in the air into more black smoke.

Not a nice place to be, in any case.

It was cold, it was windy, and Ultimecia was in complete control. She would warp time to her advantage and cheat in battle. She threw unpleasant memories at them and confused them by creating illusions and hallucinations. She sapped them from their magic and guardian forces and forced them to play games with her massive servants which were hybrid monstrosities of sphinxes, vultures, behemoths, and even inorganic matter that had been crystallized into a form that spewed concentrated magic. She'd taunted them by making them take a tour through her little funhouse and answer riddles pertaining to Garden and SeeDs. Finally, when they had to face her, she did everything in her power to try to kill them by using the most formidable magic ever known.

But they retaliated. They survived.

After Ultimecia died, time folded. Quistis didn't know where to go. A thousand sparkles lit up the sky like stars and softly fell down onto them like snowflakes, followed by a blinding white light. It was darkness, but it was total light. She couldn't move. It was as if everything had been thrown into slow motion. Squall had shouted out something, but time and space were gone. The speed of sound was lost. They had all been separated – it seemed as if the atmosphere had melted away – and Quistis had lost total consciousness.

"_Believe in your friends' existence, and they'll also believe in yours," _Laguna had said._ "To be friends, to like one another, and to love one another…you can't do these things alone. You need somebody, right, guys? What place reminds you of your friends? Imagine being in that place with all your friends. Once time compression begins, think of that place and try to get there!"_

Nobody ever said how to get out, though.

"_You need love and friendship for this mission," _he had grinned at them._ "It's all about love, friendship, and courage!"_

Whatever the flying fuck that was supposed to mean.

Quistis had been enveloped in total darkness. She'd tried to yell and shout for her friends, but she couldn't hear her own voice. It was as if she was trapped in some sort of soundproof, lightproof box and was never able to get out. The memories flitted in and out but there was nothing concrete she could grasp on to.

Her dreams seemed to be haunting reminders of something, but she couldn't figure it out.

All she remembered after that was waking up in a hospital bed in Esthar. Patches monitoring her heart activity and brain waves were attached throughout her body, and a needle going into a vein in her arm was attached to a saline drip. She had a splitting headache. Her lips were cracked and dry, and her mouth felt like cotton had been stuffed into it. A nurse had come in to wipe up her nosebleed. Zell was already awake in the hospital bed next to her, eating a gigantic bowl of ice cream.

"_Hey, Quisty! You're awake! Welcome to the land of the living!"_

Four days later and everything still felt slightly out of sequence. She'd have to ask Squall and the others if they were having the same symptoms.

She leaned forward and squinted, trying to catch a glimpse of her digital clock in her bedroom.

0432 hours.

Hyne. There was no way she'd be able to get back to sleep. Her alarm clock would go off in less than two hours.

She stood up, examined her nose in the mirror, tossed the tissue in the trash can, and turned on the shower.

. . . . . .

_What the fuck time was it? _

It had to have been almost sunup, but Seifer didn't care. He knew he shouldn't have slept so damn late in the day, because all night he'd been completely awake, but everyone's sleep patterns seemed to be erratic lately from time compression. That, and being the right-hand-man of the sorceress meant working nights. If he slept at all, he'd only allow himself a few hours at a time, and even then he didn't fully sleep. He'd gotten used to listening for the slightest sounds, even while he dozed, so he could be alert and ready whenever possible.

Hyne, his nerves were fried.

Seifer had spent most of the night walking around campus alone, enjoying the peace and quiet. He was glad to see that most of Garden hadn't been demolished by the Galbadian attack, but he was slightly disappointed that the stage, although damaged, still stood.

_Damn. That was the one expendable piece of shit on this campus I was actually aiming for._

Luckily the cafeteria was open 24 hours, so he'd managed to go in and out with a few snacks and several cans of soda. He'd also spent a good portion of his time in the training center releasing steam on the T-Rexaurs and Grats running around, although it hadn't been as challenging as it used to be a year ago. Walking plants and a giant T-bone steak weren't exactly threatening.

Still, it was fun to light up the place with firaga like napalm and watch the little shits burn.

He was extremely tempted to break into the garage, steal a set of keys, and go joyriding…

But he didn't want to give Cid a hernia this early upon his return.

Instead, he was back out on the balcony, almost finished with his pack of cigarettes, just thinking to himself and watching the dark woods down below. Once in awhile a few bats would fly up and chase a swarm of insects out into the night sky.

As he glared out at the dark sky, his thoughts traveled to many things. His classes with Quistis and Squall. His training sessions with Fujin and Raijin. The time he got blasted drunk in Balamb and showed up for Quistis's lesson still intoxicated. Bullying the first-years. The pranks he always played on Chicken-wuss. Fighting with Squall. All those SeeD field exams. Cid and Edea. Sis.

The orphanage by the beach. The games they played as children.

He'd always play tag with the others, but he constantly cheated. He never ran away from the person who was assigned "it." Instead, he purposely walked up to the tagger so he could be "it" and then punch the others.

_Biff. "Tag! You're it!"_

"_Ow! Seifer, that hurt! Sis, Seifer's punching me!"_

"_Stop being a tattle-tale! Sis can't save you all the time!" Pow. "Tag! You're it!"_

"_Owww, Seifer! Stop it! I don't want to play anymore!"_

"_Oh, shut up! You're all a bunch of whiny babies!"_

They got fussy pretty quick, but Seifer always went back for more. Selphie and Irvine disinterested him so much he damn near forgot they were at the same orphanage. After Irvine was transferred to Galbadia and Selphie to Trabia, they were easily forgotten. Squall, Zell, and Quistis were the most entertaining, however. Squall never backed down from a fight, Quistis constantly bitched at him, and Zell was fun to pester. He never got tired of them. In a word, they were reliable. He could count on Squall for a brawl in the sand. He could count on Zell to throw mud balls at. And he could count on Quistis…

Seifer chuckled. He'd count on Quistis to try to bandage his cuts and bruises, mentally and physically, even though he pushed her away every time.

"_Stop wiggling around! I have to put antiseptic ointment on it."_

"_You don't even know what anti-pepsic ointment is, stupid."_

"_Don't call me stupid! You're stupid! Besides, it's anti-septic, not anti-pepsic."_

"_That's a mixture of seawater and Matron's shampoo!"_

"_So? It'll stop infections."_

"_Get off me! You can't even bandage that right. Let Sis do it."_

"_Sis is busy bandaging Squall's cut that YOU gave him. Jerk."_

"_Who's the jerk? Squall started it."_

"_Did not."_

"_Did too."_

"_Did not! I saw you throw that rock at him!"_

"_So? What are you gonna do? Tattle-tale to Matron? That's what you're good at. Bossy Quisty, always goes to tattle-tale…"_

"_Don't call me that!"_

"_Stop touching me! I'm getting your ugly gross girl cooties all over me! You're going to infect my cuts with your girl cooties."_

"_Oh, shut up. Hold still. This will only take a second - "_

"_OW! What are you doing, you stupid dummy??"_

"_Seifer," Matron's voice could be heard from across the room. "We don't name-call in this house."_

_Seifer scowled. "But stupid bossy Quisty is getting her germs all over me…"_

"_I'm cleaning it!" Quistis huffed. "Stop acting like a baby! It doesn't hurt that bad!"_

"_How would you know? You probably poisoned that stupid anti-pepsic…"_

"_It's anti-septic!!!"_

The corners of Seifer's mouth turned into the slightest grin.

_Quistis. Always there to patch things up. Always there to break us rowdy boys apart. Fuck, Chicken-wuss was such a crybaby. If I so much as looked at him funny, he'd crumble and then Quistis would be there to bitch my ass out. Squall and I would always be on opposite sides of the team…we'd always be rivals, and Quistis was always trying to be the peacemaker. Or, we'd both be soldiers. Or knights. We'd always try to save the damsel in distress…Squall always had Sis…but I always ended up with…_

"_I want to be the damsel in distress!" Bossy little Quisty put her hands on her hips and pouted._

"_You can't be the damsel in distress," Seifer curled a lip at her._

"_Why not??"_

"_Because you'll never be a damsel in distress! You're an ugly, stinky girl!!"_

"_Girls are always the damsels in distress! That's what it means to be a damsel! Duh!" Quistis narrowed her eyes at him._

"_You're not a damsel," Seifer swung his wooden sword and pointed it at Quistis. "You can be the ugly fire-breathing beast! Why don't you be the dragon?"_

_Squall chuckled but hid his smile by looking away._

"_Heeey!" Zell crossed his arms. "What about me? What should I be?"_

"_Why don't you be the damsel in distress?" Seifer grinned._

"_Huh? No way! I'm not a damsel!"_

"_I said I wanted to be the damsel in distress!" Quistis stomped her foot._

"_No! You can't!" Seifer yelled._

"_Why not??"_

"_Because I said!"_

"_Seifer, stop being so mean! Let Quisty play!" Zell scowled._

"_Cry-ba-by Ze-ell, what are you gonna do?" Seifer mocked. "You gonna go tattle-tale to Matron?"_

"_Just let her play, Seifer!"_

"_If she's gonna be the damsel in distress, then I'm not gonna save her," Seifer shrugged._

"_Yeah-huh! You have to! That's how you play the game!" Zell retorted._

"_Knights don't save stupid ugly bossy girls," Seifer narrowed his eyes at Quistis. "Knights only save pretty damsels in distress that sit in a high tower and who call for help."_

_Quistis crossed her arms. "Fine! I didn't want to play your stupid game anyway, Seifer! Good luck finding someone else to be your stupid damsel in distress! You won't have anyone because nobody likes you!"_

"_Shut up!" Seifer yelled at her back as she was walking away. "I can get Matron to play! Why don't you go read one of your stupid books?"_

Back then, Seifer didn't realize it, but in retrospect he knew why he didn't want her to play that game with them. He'd never let Quistis be the damsel in distress. It never suited her. He didn't want her to be some helpless bimbo constantly screaming and crying for help. Quistis didn't scream. Quistis didn't cry. Quistis never asked for help. Quistis was most definitely not a helpless bimbo.

Another reason why he broke up with Rinoa. Hyne, she was the epitome of a damsel in distress.

Besides, he knew what it was to be a "knight." It sucked a fucking ton.

He was done with that game.

. . . . . .

Quistis sighed and zipped up her grey hoodie as she walked towards the quad. Nobody was awake at this hour. It was still relatively dark, and none of the birds had started singing yet. The sky lit up with the slightest sheen of pink, however, indicating that morning was almost upon them.

Another day. Another chance to readjust.

It felt like she'd never be able to readjust to her life. It had been forever skewed by the war. Its harsh reality stripped the SeeD team of their innocence, making their perspectives of life in general somewhat bleak and cynical. They knew that they'd never be able to go back to the life they once had.

Quistis sighed and shoved her hands in the pockets of her sweatshirt.

_Oh well. Maybe its change for the better. Matron and Ellone are safe. Squall speaks in sentences now instead of trying to use telepathy. Selphie, Irvine and Rinoa are part of Garden. Zell is a little more controlled…somewhat. What about me…? Have I changed?_

She sighed again and stopped in the middle of the quad.

_Food? No. Too early. Training? Hyne, no. I've had enough for now. _

She glanced towards the west wing. She hadn't even been over there to survey the damage yet, at least not extensively. So much had happened since then it wasn't quite a priority. She grinned and remembered how Selphie mourned the broken stage.

_I can't believe I played the stupid piano in Fisherman's Horizon so Rinoa could seduce Squall._

Quistis almost gagged. _Never again._

She'd only done it to cheer Squall – and Selphie – up, for Hyne's sake. They'd been through a lot.

Later on, however, she made everyone swear that they'd never tell anyone else about her piano-playing capabilities as long as they lived, or she'd kill them herself, and it wouldn't be textbook. It'd be nasty.

She grinned again, remembering Zell's tirade with the electric guitar. The instrument really had no place in a romantic doo-wop number, but he'd insisted to play it anyway. Never mind that he had absolutely no clue how.

"_Ohhhhhh yeeahhhh, baby! Rock out with your cock out, Squall!"_

She'd never seen Squall's face turn red before. She didn't know if it was out of anger or embarrassment, but playing an instrument was definitely worth seeing his expression.

She was walking towards the west wing, eager to see the stage, wondering if it had been repaired for Selphie's festival. No doubt that girl would be on the committee repairmen's asses to finish it before the awards ceremony.

Once she reached the stage, however, she realized that she wasn't alone. Someone else was on the far side of the quad, leaning against the balcony. His back was turned.

Quistis stopped in her tracks, surprised. There was only one student in Garden that possessed that kind of height, breadth, and hair color. She gulped.

"Seifer?"

. . . . . .

Seifer's breath hitched at her voice.

_Oh, fuck me sideways._

Seifer glanced behind him but didn't reply. He regarded Quistis with a cold, bored glare and turned back towards the horizon, taking in a long drag.

_Let the bitch-fest begin in three…two…one…_

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

Seifer rolled his eyes. "I could ask you the same thing."

Quistis looked down at her feet and shrugged. "I couldn't sleep."

Seifer snorted and exhaled. "Imagine that."

Quistis took a few hesitant steps forward. "Have you been out here all night?"

No response.

She walked up to the balcony railing slowly, but remained out of his peripheral vision, giving him several feet of space. She felt that she had to say something to him, that she believed he wasn't a traitor, but Seifer wasn't exactly an easy person to talk to. They'd both been through hell – on opposite sides of hell – just a week ago. The news of Seifer's undercover SeeD status had come as a shock. Quistis had to force herself to come to terms with the fact that Seifer wasn't an enemy, but an ally. On top of all that, it was nearly five in the morning. Striking conversation wasn't exactly a good idea.

But she had to try.

"I didn't know you smoked," Quistis said softly.

"Hyne," Seifer growled and flicked the half-finished cigarette over the edge, "is that code for something? You're the second fucking person who's said that. Just say what you need to say and stop pretending you care."

Quistis narrowed her eyes. "What? I didn't _know_, okay? And I'm not pretending - "

Seifer snorted.

" - I'm still trying to digest Cid's news, all right?" Quistis insisted. "It's a little hard to swallow right now, Seifer. A week ago we thought you were the enemy."

"So which was more surprising?" Seifer snapped. "The fact that I'm actually a SeeD and set out to do a mission to _help_ someone, or the fact that I'm not really a murdering traitor??"

Quistis looked at the ground and didn't reply.

Seifer shook his head and chuckled bitterly. "Thought so. It's a lot easier to believe that I could've been capable of those things, isn't it? Not so easy to accept the fact that perhaps Seifer Almasy has done some good in the world."

"That's not true, Seifer."

Seifer ignored her and dug his hand into his pocket, ready to light another cigarette. As he fumbled around for one, Quistis glanced up and sighed.

"You should think about quitting."

Seifer looked murderous. He glared at her and set his jaw. "Is that all, Trepe? You gonna tell me how to kick my habits and chart my healthy living? Are you gonna keep a fucking journal about how I live my life?"

Quistis clenched her jaw and bit back her reply. She knew he had every excuse to be angry.

"Hyne. Four days into Garden and you're already being a naggy bitch," Seifer grumbled.

Quistis crossed her arms. "Haven't you ever considered that people make those suggestions to you because they're worried about your well-being?"

Seifer turned to her and jabbed a finger at her. "Don't you fucking talk to me about well-being, Trepe. _Don't._ I think I damn well took good care of myself when I was playing the good son for Cid and his psychotic wife."

"Seifer - "

"And as I recall, none of you gave a shit," Seifer curled his lip at her. "You wanted me dead last week. Don't you _dare_ pretend that you're worried about my well-being now."

"I never wanted you dead," Quistis spat back. "I just…I didn't know. I was angry at you…but I never wanted you dead, Seifer."

Seifer turned back towards the railing. "Whatever. It doesn't matter."

"What are you so angry at _me_ for, anyway?" Quistis snapped. "It's not _my_ fault you're sitting out here all alone watching the sunrise like a little pussy."

Seifer raised an eyebrow and glanced at her. Now _that_ was the Quistis he knew. He reached into the box of cigarettes, grabbing one just to spite her…and…damn. Empty.

Quistis rolled her eyes as he tossed the empty box over the railing and tried to ignore the fact that he just littered. She crossed her arms and sighed.

"I understand you need to take it out on someone. I guess I'm as good a person as any at five in the morning. But…I…Seifer…I just want to apologize…"

"Oh, don't try that psychobabble bullshit on me," Seifer groaned. "I don't want to hear it, Trepe."

Quistis blinked at him. "What are you talking about?"

"I know that you're supposed to be doing my mental eval. Good fucking luck."

Quistis stared at him. "Who told you? Cid?"

Seifer chuckled. "Rinoa."

Quistis seethed. _That information was supposed to be kept confidential! Dammit, Squall._

Seifer grinned upon seeing the look on her face. "What's the matter, Trepe? Were you planning on breaking it to me yourself? I wonder how you would've accomplished that."

"It's still too early to discuss," Quistis shook her head. "I probably won't start until a month from now."

"What, you're not curious?" Seifer turned towards her and stepped forward. He narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms. "You don't want to know what happened while I was by Ultimecia's side? You don't want to hear about how I had to punish dozens of incompetent Galbadian soldiers at her request? You don't want to hear how Matron acted while she was under that bitch's influence? About the blood? About the screams?"

Quistis looked away. "Seifer…please…"

Seifer's teeth clenched and he took another step forward. He glared down at her with an unreadable expression on his face. "You don't want to hear about how it was to go up against your allies…and fight them…?"

_Rinoa screamed and struggled against him, but he held her firm._

_Squall and Zell were sprinting through Lunatic Pandora, trying to catch up. He could hear their yelling echoes getting closer and closer._

"_Seifer! Stop! Seifer, don't touch her!"_

"_Let her go! Don't do this! Hyne, Seifer, don't do this!"_

"_Seifer…" Rinoa hiccupped. "Please…what are you going to do?"_

"_Shut up," he hissed and twisted her wrist tighter behind her back. _

_Rinoa let out a soft whimper. "Seifer…I'm scared…! Stop…"_

"_I said shut up," he growled._

_She pressed her feet in front of her and skidded forward as he tried to shove her closer to Adel. The evil sorceress was stirring. She wasn't quite awake yet, but the presence of two beings made the creature lift her eyes up and watch them with growing interest._

"_Seifer," Rinoa begged, "no more…please…"_

_Seifer set his jaw and squeezed his eyes shut. His grip on her loosened._

"_Rinoa…"_

"I know what it's like," Quistis insisted. "I was there, Seifer. You don't think it was the same for us? You were one of us. You were part of the family. It hurt us all to think that you'd turned against us."

Seifer shook his head and looked away.

"You don't think we felt that??" Quistis stepped forward and tried to hold his gaze. "You don't think we cared?"

_Quistis, Zell, and Selphie all made their way down the thin ladder. Quistis couldn't stop her shaking hands._

"_We have to hurry," Zell said above her, being careful not to step on her fingers. "Irvine should've taken the shot by now."_

"_Do you think the plan worked?" Selphie whispered above Zell._

"_Not sure. They're directly below us. I couldn't see from up there. I hope so."_

"_Seifer…" Quistis murmured. "Seifer's alive. He's alive. I can't believe it."_

"_What'd you say?"_

"_Did you guys see him?" Quistis whispered. "Did you see him on the float?"_

"_What the hell are you talking about, Quistis?" Zell hissed. "See who?"_

_Quistis neared the bottom and grabbed her whip. Please, just let it be a figment of my imagination, she thought. I didn't see him. I saw a ghost. Seifer's dead. He was executed. Don't let him be out there with the sorceress. It isn't possible._

"_Quis, you okay?" Zell balled his fists. "Hey! Your face is all white. Don't worry, it's just the pre-battle jitters. I get 'em all the time."_

"_Okay," Selphie readied her nunchaku, "are you guys ready? Once we step out of these doors we'll be totally exposed. The float should be right in front of us."_

_Quistis steadied her breathing and nodded._

_Zell grabbed the knob and yanked the service door open, which led directly out to the street. They were facing the side of the float towards the rear. At least their end of the plan had worked; they'd managed to successfully trap the sorceress between the two iron gates…but did Irvine shoot her? Was she dead?_

_Outside the iron bars, the citizens were screaming as Galbadian soldiers tried to maintain order. Zell glanced back at Quistis and Selphie and cocked his head towards the front of the float._

"_Let's go," he murmured in a low voice._

_They hunkered down and slowly made their way around the float, but it sounded as if someone was talking up ahead. Nothing could have prepared them for what they saw next._

_Squall was standing on the float with his gunblade out, face-to-face with Seifer Almasy. His gunblade was slung over his shoulder and he was giving Squall a cocky grin._

_Quistis's chest froze and her throat went dry. "No…" she murmured._

_Zell's mouth gaped open. "Him…! But…how…why…?"_

_Squall and Seifer were still in the middle of a conversation they couldn't hear when Zell trotted forward. He was about to climb up on the float, but Quistis grabbed him and pulled him back._

"_Wait!"_

_Zell curled a lip. "Are you insane?! Let me up there!"_

"_Where's the sorceress?" Quistis whispered._

_Zell and Selphie immediately looked around. The float was eye-level, but they remained hunched over, not daring to expose themselves yet._

"_I can't see her from down here," Selphie whispered. "Is she still on the float?"_

"_Seifer hasn't seen us yet," Quistis replied. "If we climb up there we'll lose our element of surprise. He's got better ground. Let's wait here until we find the right moment to strike."_

_Truthfully, she felt sick to her stomach. She didn't want to fight Seifer. The sorceress couldn't be seen from their angle. It was possible she was already dead. If that were the case, she was more than happy to let Squall deal with Seifer. From the SeeD point of view, it wasn't yet necessary to reveal themselves. If they climbed up on the float, it could distract Squall and put his life at risk. Best to see how the events played out._

"…_well, this is how it turned out," Seifer finished with a smirk._

"_So you've become the sorceress's lapdog?" Squall growled._

_Seifer's smirk disappeared. He narrowed his eyes and pointed his gunblade at Squall. "I prefer to be called her 'knight.' This has always been my dream."_

_Quistis shook her head frantically, as if she were trying to remove the image from her mind. What??? What is he talking about? Seifer, what's happened to you?!?_

_Before she could cry out, Squall had lunged forward and delivered the first blow, which was blocked by Seifer. Quistis had never seen the two duel before, and was always curious as to how those two sparred in the training center, but now she was completely horrified to see it unravel in front of her. Both of them were out for blood, and she didn't want either of them to win._

"_Quistis! Let go! Let me get up there and help him!" Zell struggled against her grip._

"_No," she hissed._

"_Quisty…" Selphie was bouncing up and down nervously on her heels. "We've got to do something!"_

"_No!" Quistis found her voice and gripped Zell's collar, yanking him back. "Not yet. This is Squall's fight. Let him handle it."_

_The three of them crouched in the shadows, out of sight, watching the intense duel with horrified stares. Seifer had opened his palm and a blast of fira erupted around Squall. Squall immediately enveloped himself in shell, dissipating the burning fire and retaliating with a swift swipe of blizzara from his sword. Seifer easily blocked it and stepped forward, slicing up towards Squall's side, but Squall blocked the strike and was nicked in the shoulder. Seifer pulled his gunblade back with one arm and brought it down again; this time, when Squall blocked the strike, Seifer punched him hard in the face with his other hand. _

_Squall rocked backwards and spat blood. Seifer chuckled and pointed at him with Hyperion._

"_You're mine, Squall."_

_Squall lifted his head and glared at Seifer. Suddenly, he shoved his gunblade at him and pulled the trigger. Seifer grunted as a round hit him in the chest and he stumbled backwards. Squall followed up by stepping forward and shoving his gunblade through Seifer's right shoulder. Seifer bared his teeth and growled out a pained roar._

_Quistis closed her eyes._

_Squall yanked the blade out and stepped back. Seifer immediately clutched at his shoulder and fell to his knees. Blood was dripping down his gloves and had splattered onto the floor of the float. He glared back up at Squall in anger. They were both breathing hard from the fight._

"_Go on, Squall. Finish it."_

_Squall curled his lip. "You're losing it, Seifer."_

_Zell rushed forward. "Squall!"_

_Selphie followed Zell and they both climbed up the float. Squall glanced down at them, surprised._

"_Zell?"_

"_Yo, Squall! You okay?"_

"_Listen," Squall glanced around, "there's no time to talk. Irvine - "_

"_SeeDs," a woman's voice echoed out and enveloped them, suddenly muting the screams and cries from the citizens down the road._

_They all halted and looked around. Quistis ran up to the float and glanced at Seifer. He was struggling to hold himself up; hunched over with both knees on the ground, one hand holding his wound and the other hand gripping Hyperion on the floor. His head was bowed. A small pool of blood had collected at his knees. Upon hearing the sorceress's voice, however, he slowly lifted his head and…his eyes…_

_Seifer…? Is he frightened?_

_He locked eyes with Quistis. She wanted to call out to him, but the voice interrupted her._

"_The accursed SeeDs," it echoed._

_Seifer slowly closed his eyes, but not from the pain. It almost seemed like regret._

_The back of the float shimmered like liquid, and Edea stepped out of nowhere. She glared at all of them in hatred. Her skin was deathly pale, but her eyes glowed with a purplish-red sheen that seemed to bore straight through them._

"_SeeDs…planted in a run-down Garden," she spoke the words in utter disgust._

_Squall, Zell, and Selphie readied themselves. The shouts of Rinoa and Irvine could be heard as they neared the float. Quistis stole a glance at Seifer. His head was hung again, but he had cast cura on himself without anyone noticing. His hands were curled into fists._

_So…this is where you stand. You'll fight us to be the sorceress's knight? Has that been your dream…all this time?_

There was a long pause. Seifer finally looked at her with a neutral stare.

"We're SeeDs, Trepe. We're not supposed to care."

Quistis clenched her jaw at his response and let out a bitter laugh. "Hyne. You sound like Squall."

Seifer gave her a black scowl. "Go to hell."

"If you _really_ expect me to believe that you don't care, you're fooling yourself," she continued. "We all cared, Seifer. Even you. I saw it. I could tell."

Seifer curled his lip at her. "You _would_ say that. The failed instructor, still holding desperately onto her students, to the bitter end. It's all very poetic, Trepe, but go ahead and think what you want." He looked her up and down. "It's obviously not helping you sleep at night."

Quistis exhaled through her nose and narrowed her eyes. She'd tried to hide the hurt glint in her eyes when he said the words 'failed instructor,' but he caught it. Satisfied, he ignored her angry glare and turned his back on her, facing the open balcony.

"Besides," he growled, "If you thought I cared so much, and if you wanted to _help_ me, why the fuck did you cast blizzaga at me every point and turn?"

There was a long pause.

Seifer narrowed his eyes. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

There was another long, uncomfortable pause. Quistis fumbled for the words, but she didn't know what to say to him. Finally, she broke the silence with a meager question.

"Seifer…"

He let out an audible sigh, obviously not wanting to talk. Quistis ignored him.

"Why did you say those things on the parade float?"

Seifer didn't answer.

"Why did you say that you were the sorceress's 'knight?' That it was your dream?"

Seifer shook his head and rubbed his eyes. "I don't know, Trepe. Just drop it."

"Yes you do. Please…just tell me."

"I pulled that shit out of thin air so you'd all think I was nuts," Seifer snapped. "Happy?"

Quistis shook her head. "No, you didn't. You said it for a reason."

Seifer slowly turned and looked at her. He looked tired, angry, and somewhat sad.

"_Knights don't save stupid ugly bossy girls," Seifer narrowed his eyes at Quistis. "Knights only save pretty damsels in distress that sit in a high tower and who call for help."_

_Quistis crossed her arms. "Fine! I didn't want to play your stupid game anyway, Seifer! Good luck finding someone else to be your stupid damsel in distress! You won't have anyone because nobody likes you!"_

"_Shut up!" Seifer yelled at her back as she was walking away. "I can get Matron to play!"_

With a shrug, he said, "You're the therapist, Trepe. Figure it out."

With that, he walked past her off of the balcony and turned towards the quad, leaving her alone.

Quistis closed her eyes and sighed.

_Seifer…_

* * *

**Author's Note:** Just to clarify, the military time I am using is completely made up - it is not "Zulu" time, which is what the real military uses. I think Zulu time would be too confusing to some readers and I just don't feel like thinking about the conversions. Therefore, 0800 hours = 8:00 a.m., 1200 hours = 12 p.m., 1500 hours = 3 p.m., etc.


	6. Timber

**_

* * *

_**

**_"I wanted to believe as I watched your world crumble in your hands_**

**_I wanted to believe as you raised your glass to your last stand_**

**_And I wanted to believe you would win the war in your head_**

**_That I did not understand..."_**

_"Suicide Note" _by Johnette Napolitano

_****_

* * *

**Timber**

_Seifer sat back in the small train cabin and examined the envelope that had Xu's gil inside. There was enough enclosed to buy five train tickets. Cid must've been anticipating the fact that he'd need gunblade upgrades…food and shelter until Edea showed herself…and, of course, naughty magazines to keep him occupied until that time came…_

_He glanced out the window and automatically pulled the collar of his trench coat higher and sunk lower in his seat. Although he'd doubted anyone had followed him out of Garden, the last thing he needed was a witness that could recognize him. He was relatively sure that Cid would call off any type of search, and even though he wasn't exactly someone who would be missed, he kept his guard up. There might be some nosy bastard from Garden out looking for him, but he doubted it. He stared at his boots and reminisced the hectic scene earlier with a slight grin._

_At least the easy part is over. Hell, I even had fun. I wasn't expecting Xu to be the one to give me the go-ahead…but then again, I'll bet she wasn't expecting me to hit her, either._

_He chuckled darkly._

_Ah, well. It was my parting gift. She's a hard-core bitch…she'll understand._

_He wasn't really expecting to take that drastic of a route, but realized that Xu was setting him up for exactly that._

_I suppose I'd rather not go any other way, anyhow. Out with a bang. Still…I didn't know that Squall was going to Timber. I wonder if I'll see those bozos there. They'd better not fuck up their mission._

_His thoughts traveled to Quistis._

_I probably scared the shit out of her. Instructor Trepe's worst student finally goes rogue. I wonder how she's taking it. Probably not even giving it a second thought…_

_"Seifer!"_

_Oh, fuck._

_"Seifer Almasy!"_

_Shit. Shit! No, no, no! Not her._

_"What do you think you're doing?"_

_Fuck me._

_Quistis was standing in the doorway of his cabin, arms akimbo, with a murderous glare on her face._

_Seifer sighed and glared out the window, resisting the urge to punch it. He set his jaw and didn't even glance at her. "Goin' to Timber. Glad you could join me."_

_"Seifer, this isn't a joke!" Quistis slammed the cabin door behind her and stepped up to his seat. "Get up off your ass and exit this train at once!"_

_"I don't have to take any orders from you, instructor. You're not in charge of me anymore."_

_"You're still my subordinate and you will listen to what I say!"_

_Seifer narrowed his eyes and stood up to face her. His massive height and shoulder width towered over her as he stared down at her with an angry glint in his eye, but she wasn't fazed. She glared back up at him, unwilling to budge._

_"Is that so, Trepe?"_

_"That's correct, Almasy. And don't think for one second you can intimidate me. You're not even at SeeD status, so the only real thing you can measure me up with is your dick, and I doubt even that would make for a legitimate comparison."_

_Seifer blinked at her in surprise. Damn. Trepe's sexy when she's pissed off and using vulgarity._

_"Otherwise, you should think very hard and very long about listening to my judgment for once in your pathetic life, and I will not hesitate to drag you off this train myself and kick your ass all the way back to Garden for you," she continued, jabbing a finger at his chest._

_Seifer couldn't resist. "You know, you shouldn't say the words 'dick,' 'hard,' and 'long' in the same sentence around me, Trepe."_

_Quistis's nostrils flared and her face grew red with anger. "I will only give you this order one last time. Get. Off. This. Train. Now."_

_Seifer set his jaw and looked away. "Look…Instructor…get over your teacher-student complex and just beat it, okay?" Damned crazy bitch. Why did she have to follow me?_

_"I'm not leaving until you get off this train with me."_

_Seifer was losing his patience. _

_I've got to get her out of here. _

_"You don't know what the fuck you're doing here," he pointed his finger at her, suddenly angry, "so piss off. Turn around and just go. For once in your pathetic life, leave me the hell alone."_

_"Just what exactly are you trying to prove by going out there by yourself?" Quistis snapped. "You're not going to accomplish anything besides making a total fool out of yourself and the entire Balamb Garden."_

_"I'm not a part of Garden anymore," Seifer growled. "I quit, okay?! Fuck Garden! Fuck you! Now, leave!"_

_"I can't believe this," Quistis shook her head and let out an incredulous, shaky chuckle. "You're such a hardheaded piece of shit."_

_Seifer stepped forward and grabbed her by the arm. "I'll fucking toss you off myself."_

_Quistis's mouth dropped open as she looked down at his hand, then back up at him. The look in her eyes almost made him retract his grip._

_"Get your hands off me."_

_Seifer pulled her forward and glared down at her. Their faces were inches within each other. "There is nothing you can say, or do, to make me go back to Garden. Do you understand? You've failed, instructor. Now get off this train. I don't give a shit if I never see you again."_

_He knew he was hitting her where it hurt, but it was for her own good. Her eyes flashed with something unfamiliar, but it was gone in seconds and she yanked her arm away. Before she could argue any further, however, the train lurched forward. They both immediately looked out the window. Trees and grass began to pass by in a swift blur, and the intercom beeped politely: 'Thank you for travelling with us. This train, now departing Balamb, will arrive in Timber in approximately four hours. Please enjoy your trip.'_

_Seifer stared at Quistis with initial rage, but it melted away into an unreadable expression. She swallowed. He turned around, closed his eyes, and slowly slumped down in his seat. He ran a hand through his hair and she saw the jaw muscles in his cheeks flex._

_"You shouldn't have followed me, Quistis," he murmured._

_She blinked at him, numb, and remained silent. It was the first time in a long time she'd heard him call her by her first name. She slowly sat down in a seat across from him and folded her hands, trying to think of what to do next._

_They rode in bitter silence for the next few hours. Seifer wouldn't make eye contact with her, and Quistis was busy wracking her brain about how to get him back to Balamb. She knew he wouldn't listen to her. Once they'd arrive in Timber, he'd make a beeline for…well…where the hell was he going to go?_

_"Just what exactly are you going to do once you reach Timber?" Quistis asked him, crossing her arms. "You don't even know what the SeeD mission is."_

_Seifer glared at her. "Do you?"_

_Quistis narrowed her eyes. "Of course not. Even if I did, I wouldn't tell you."_

_Seifer shrugged. "I'll figure it out one way or another."_

_He really had no idea what Squall's team was sent in for, but he didn't really care. He already knew where he was headed. Cid said that the President was probably going to give a speech at the radio station. He'd start there._

_"Once we get to Timber, we're getting on the next train to Balamb," she ordered sternly._

_Seifer snorted. "We'll see about that."_

_"You can't just patrol the streets of Timber and expect to run into the SeeD team," Quistis sighed in frustration. "Timber is under Galbadian control. Not only will you look suspicious, but you'll endanger their mission."_

_"Then I'll just pretend I'm trying to get away from my crazy ex-girlfriend," Seifer grinned at her. "No doubt you'll be screaming and yelling at me the whole time." He flung up his hands and imitated her in a high-pitched voice. "'Come back, Seifer, come back! You can't do this to me!' Wouldn't be the first time I've heard it, but I'd pay money to hear it coming from you, Trepe."_

_Quistis gave him the middle finger._

_Seifer chuckled. "Case in point…if anyone will bring attention to themselves in Timber, it'll be you."_

_Quistis looked away and glared out the window. There was a long pause before she spoke again._

_"I don't understand why you think you have to do this. Just what in the hell are you after, anyway?"_

_"Fortune and glory," Seifer rolled his eyes._

_"I'm being serious, Seifer."_

_"You always are, Trepe."_

_"Just answer my question."_

_"What the fuck do you care?"_

_"I'm sitting on a train headed for Timber, we've got two hours left, and my only entertainment is a self-absorbed, pigheaded drama queen," Quistis snapped. "Humor me."_

_Seifer narrowed his eyes, feigning confusion. "Are we talking about you or me?"_

_"Seifer - "_

_"Look, Xu said that they've been sent to liberate Timber," Seifer replied impatiently. "They might end up fightin' the whole Galbadian force! And Cid dispatches three rookie SeeD members? Chicken-wuss, messenger-girl, and Puberty Boy??? I mean, damn! He might as well have sent in a trio of hyper-active cactaurs to get the job done. Talk about shitty coordination with battle tactics."_

_"So you're going to break out of Garden every time you don't agree with a SeeD mission?" Quistis shook her head. "If you don't learn to trust Cid's decisions, you'll never be a SeeD yourself."_

_Seifer remained silent._

_"It sounds like you're just jealous," Quistis added matter-of-factly. "Everything Squall does, you have to one-up him. Even this. Even now. It's ridiculous, Seifer. When are you going to grow up?"_

_Jealousy was not in Seifer's vocabulary. When Quistis Trepe tried to accuse him of something – especially of being jealous of Pueby McFucking Leonhart – he'd ignore her barb and instead turned it right around on her. Every single time._

_It was a miracle she hadn't caught on yet._

_Seifer gave her a hard glare._

_Quistis crossed her arms irritably. "I should be in Balamb right now, focusing on more important things – but NO – I'm chasing your dumb ass all the way to Timber just to get you to come back to Garden, probably so that you'll just turn around and do another dumb ass thing tomorrow I'll have to put up with."_

_Hyne, he loved it when she vented frustration. It served as wonderful, beautiful ammunition he could warp to his advantage and spit it back out at her later._

_"Geez, Trepe. Tell me how you really feel."_

_"Don't get me started."_

_His hard stare turned into a smug smirk. "You're pissed off that Squall got to go on a mission and you didn't, aren't you?"_

_Quistis blinked for a second, then narrowed her eyes. "I'm pissed off because you broke out of the disciplinary room like a berserk chocobo hopped up on gysahl greens," she snapped._

_"You're mad that you got stuck with me," he grinned maliciously. "You're mad that you couldn't go with loverboy. You've got the hots for him, admit it."_

_Quistis flushed. "I do not. That's inappropriate, Seifer."_

_"That SeeD mission to Timber would've been the perfect time to make your moves on Leonhart. No students, no Garden. Just you and him."_

_"Seifer - "_

_"It'd be a good way to get your mind offa that revoked license ruling, slobbering after him like a horny first-year…"_

_Quistis blinked and sat back. He could see the genuine hurt in her eyes. "How did you know about that?"_

_"What? That you slobber after Squall? It's so fucking obvious - "_

_"I mean about my license," Quistis interrupted him in a strained voice. "I didn't tell anyone."_

_"You told Squall," Seifer curled his lip._

_Quistis looked pale and blinked at him again in shock. "…What?"_

_"Word gets around fast, Trepe," Seifer shrugged nonchalantly. "Squall must've let it slip somehow. He told Chicken-wuss, whose big-fucking-mouth told what's-her-face in the library, which was overheard by Fujin, who was also in the library."_

_Quistis looked away, but Seifer was watching her closely. Her nostrils flared out a bit and her jaw tightened. She remained absolutely rigid. She swallowed and reached up to adjust her glasses. He was used to her movements when she became angry, but this time she was more than angry. She was livid. When Quistis Trepe was livid, she bottled it in._

_That's it, Seifer coached silently. Just a little more._

_"Guess your prize student isn't really a prize anymore, eh?" Seifer grinned in triumph._

_Quistis glared at him in hatred. Her eyes were glossy. "Shut your mouth, Seifer."_

_"What'd you get canned for, eh? Was it your shitty teaching? Were those trepies of yours angry that you paid more attention to Leonhart than any of them?"_

_"I said shut up."_

_"I know what it was," Seifer's eyes glinted with malice, "you were tripping after Squall so much you got yourself caught. It's illegal to have relationships with your students, you know."_

_Quistis clenched her teeth. "Stop it."_

_'Instructor Trepe, the panel has unanimously decided to revoke your license for the time being. We feel that, in light of recent circumstances, that you're simply too young to be an instructor of Garden right now. There are SeeD cadets being sent out into the world to do things no other civilian should be forced to do – and we take our jobs as teachers very seriously. We aren't saying that you're not doing your job, SeeD Trepe. In fact, you have a phenomenal academic record and your knowledge of standard SeeD protocol, as well as history and enemy combat, is beyond outstanding. However…your inability to separate emotion from the classroom…is somewhat troubling. We've heard rumors about a purported fan club. It has also been suggested that you harbor a favorite student, who is also a SeeD candidate. This is a conflict of interest and displaying favoritism is not acceptable…SeeD instructors must display immaculate leadership qualities…'_

_Quistis had toned the panel's explanation out after that, too shocked to hear any more._

_Have I really failed as an instructor…? But…but I tried my best… Squall wasn't a favorite…I was just trying to get him to come out of his shell…I was worried he'd be too reclusive to be a SeeD…and Seifer…Seifer wasn't helping things…out of all the Garden classes, mine had been marred with disruptions and detention assignments because of just…one…student…_

_"Guess it doesn't matter now," Seifer shrugged. "You bolted out of Garden without permission. Your ass is probably demoted to a level 2. That is, if you'd still be considered a SeeD." He glared at her. "You're just like me now, Trepe."_

_Quistis swallowed back the swell of tears, suddenly outraged at him. "The only reason I could have possibly gotten my license revoked was because of you," she hissed. "It's always because of you, Seifer. It's always because I'm cleaning up after your fuck-ups and taking the heat for them later." She stood up and glared down at him. "Even now, I'm doing something I shouldn't be doing, but I'm doing it because of you. I couldn't stop the shit you pulled in class, I couldn't stop the shit you pulled at the field exam, I probably won't be able to stop you later – and I'll be demoted for it. You're right."_

_She stepped forward and pointed at him. He glared back up at her and could see the glaze forming in her blue eyes, but she didn't care anymore._

_"But just tell me one thing, Seifer. If you didn't have me to run after you each and every time, who would take my place? Huh? Do you think anyone else would give a shit? Would anyone else have done the same?"_

_Seifer set his jaw and didn't answer._

_She spun around, opened the cabin door, and stepped out. "Just think about that for a while, asshole."_

_With that, she slammed the cabin door and walked down the train car, headed to the ladies' room._

_Seifer crossed his arms and sighed, glaring out the window. Mission accomplished. He'd pissed her off to the point where she wanted to get away from him. If he was lucky, she'd hop on the train to Balamb without him. If he was lucky, she'd forget about him. If he was lucky, she'd finally quit on him._

_Then why did he feel so shitty?_

_. . . . . . _

_Seifer kept his collar up and walked down from the train platform, shoving his hands in his pockets and checking to make sure Hyperion was safely tucked under his coat. He had to get to the radio station. From there, he'd be able to figure out just how exactly to make Edea pop out from her hiding spot._

_First thing's first. He had to take a massive piss._

_Next to the train station was a small little magazine stand – he tossed a few gil to the sales clerk and grabbed a Weapons Monthly, shoved it into the trench coat, then headed to the small shacks housing a few bathroom stalls. He glanced around. There was no sign of Quistis. She didn't come back after she'd left the train cabin, and Seifer was glad to see that he hadn't encountered her on the platform after he stepped off the train._

_Good riddance. She probably came to her senses. She's probably already boarding the next train._

_After he was finished and walked out of the stall, however, Quistis was standing a few feet away, glaring at him with her arms crossed._

_Or not. Damn it._

_"Hyne, Trepe. If you wanted to watch me drop my pants, you should've knocked."_

_Quistis narrowed her eyes and remained silent._

_Seifer let out an aggravated sigh and started to walk down the street, trying not to pay attention to her._

_Fuck. I was expecting a trail, but not her._

_He could snap a trailer's neck neatly and quietly, but he couldn't snap hers._

_"You haven't gotten rid of me that easily, Almasy," she said in a low voice as she walked behind him. "I'm going to be on your ass every step of the way until you give up this stupid charade and come back to Balamb."_

_Correction. He_ could _snap her neck. But he_ won't_._

_He glanced around, trying to remember exactly which way the radio station was. Timber wasn't a very big town, but it was a clusterfuck. Small mom and pop shops lined the cobblestone streets and there wasn't much direction in terms of blocks or street names. The only way to really navigate through Timber was by using landmarks, following the shoppers, or asking the drunks._

_Fucking hick town. Another reason he broke it off with Rinoa. This place drove him up the wall._

_Galbadian soldiers were everywhere. There were a few standing around shops, others were loitering on street corners smoking cigarettes, carrying their helmets in the crooks of their arms, and there was a small group running towards the train station…_

_Seifer and Quistis stopped on the sidewalk and watched as they ran down the street. More soldiers collected at the platform and there was a captain dressed in red talking to a few train conductors._

_"What's going on?" Quistis murmured._

_Seifer glanced at her. "Where the fuck were you for the last hour and a half? You didn't do anything to get us noticed, did you?"_

_Quistis glared at him. "I'm not that stupid, Seifer. And no, nobody noticed me."_

_Seifer snorted. "Story of your life."_

_Quistis balled her fists. "You're lucky we're in public," she growled through clenched teeth._

_Seifer continued to watch as Galbadian soldiers were forming a blockade near the train station. They weren't allowing anyone in. Disappointed tourists and frustrated Timber residents retreated with confused murmurs, angry outbursts at how much they've just paid for a ticket, and comments about what they were supposed to do for the rest of the day._

_"It looks like they've just closed our only way out," Seifer said in a low voice._

_"Shit," Quistis sighed. "Now what?"_

_Seifer shrugged and turned around, heading towards the center of town. "Not my problem."_

_"What…? Well…wait! Seifer! Wait a second!" Quistis trotted after him, trying to keep her voice down. "Just how are we supposed to get back?"_

_Seifer glanced at her and scoffed. "You're the high-and-mighty SeeD, Trepe. Why don't you figure it out?"_

_"Don't say that word here around so many people," Quistis hissed._

_Seifer rolled his eyes. "Worried that I might endanger your beloved Squall?"_

_Quistis emitted a low growl. "I wish you'd stop that."_

_Seifer grinned. "Speaking of, I wonder if that three-ring-circus is anywhere around here. Probably assigned to help keep the cockatrice population down or something."_

_"Seifer, just where do you think you're going?"_

_They'd reached an intersection. Seifer remembered the station being close to a magazine company somewhere…_

_An old, decrepit-looking sign labeled 'Timber Maniacs' was posted, lopsided and rusty, above a windowless door to a sickly yellow brick building. A few windows on the first floor were broken and the building looked like it should be condemned, but Seifer knew that's where they printed the newspapers. They even managed to get out a few magazines once or twice a year._

_Seifer glanced around. He didn't want to linger anywhere for too long. It seemed, by the way things were going, that the Galbadian soldiers were already searching for something. Their numbers had already doubled, the incoming and outgoing trains were stopped, and Timber citizens were already acting edgy. Some were going back inside and closing up shop._

_"Something's going on," Quistis murmured, mirroring Seifer's concern. "We should keep moving."_

_She didn't have to tell him twice. He nodded and headed towards Timber Maniacs across the street. "Come on."_

_They hurried across the cobblestone street, but once they reached the curb, five Galbadian soldiers emerged from the building. Quistis gripped Seifer's arm. One soldier, who seemed to be in charge, raised a small walkie-talkie and spoke into it._

_"Building eight is secure."_

_'Copy that,' crackled the reply. 'Leave a guard near the front and rear entrances. We don't want anyone getting anywhere near the TV station while the President is in the area.'_

_"Roger." The soldier made a quick hand gesture and one Galbadian soldier headed towards the rear of the building, while another stood next to the front door. He put the walkie-talkie on a clip next to his belt and was about to walk down the street, ignoring Seifer and Quistis, when one of his men pointed at them._

_"Excuse me, kids, where are you headed?"_

_Seifer blinked. Kids?_

_"We volunteer for the paper," Quistis covered quickly, flashing the soldier a smile. "Is there some sort of problem inside, sir?"_

_"No problem, but I'm afraid you'll have to come back later," the soldier replied. "Civilians aren't allowed within the proximity of the TV station for the next few hours. The President of Galbadia will be giving a speech pretty soon – I suggest you two find a television if you want to witness history in the making."_

_Seifer narrowed his eyes._

_"Hey," another soldier spoke up and stepped forward. "Aren't you two supposed to be in school?"_

_Seifer and Quistis glanced at each other. "We're skipping," Seifer replied flatly. "We wanted to report the President's speech for the paper."_

_"It'd be great for freelance money," Quistis chimed in. "We haven't had much news to report on lately."_

_The three soldiers glanced at each other. The sergeant with the walkie-talkie stepped up and examined them. "Do you really work for the paper?"_

_"Volunteer," Quistis corrected him. "They can't afford to pay us. Usually when we scoop something they can give us a little bit, but it's not much."_

_Seifer was about to move to Hyperion, but Quistis seemed to sense his rigid form next to her. She squeezed his arm, reminding him not to take any action._

_There was a long pause. The sergeant glanced back at the two other soldiers. "Hold your position. I'm going to escort our two reporters inside."_

_"Yes, sir," they replied._

_Quistis and Seifer exchanged glances. Seifer's eyes grew dark – she knew that face when he was about to fight – but she squeezed his arm again and told him, without words, that she'd handle it._

_They followed the sergeant inside and he took off his helmet, glancing around for the first newspaper employee he could find. He walked past the secretary, completely ignoring her, and Quistis and Seifer followed. Instead, the sergeant walked up to a corner office off to the right and rapped on the open door._

_An aggravated sigh answered. "You again? Haven't you just been through here? What is it this time?"_

_The soldier motioned towards Seifer and Quistis. "Do these two volunteer here?"_

_"Volunteers come and go," the manager replied. "You can't expect me to remember every single face that comes through here!"_

_"I'm performing a routine check," the sergeant replied with a groan. "Just work with me here, then I'll leave you alone."_

_"Yeah, yeah, fine. Whatever." A balding man with glasses stepped out of the doorway to take a glance at Quistis and Seifer._

_They both stared back at him. Quistis was giving him a meek smile. Seifer looked angry._

_The manager blinked. After a tense pause, he nodded._

_"Yeah. I've seen 'em before. They work here."_

_"You sure?" the sergeant looked speculative._

_"Of course I'm sure! Look, I've answered your question, haven't I? I've gotta get back to work." The manager glanced at Seifer and Quistis. "Well? You guys got that piece for me or don't ya?"_

_Quistis cleared her throat. "Er…we were going to, but…"_

_"My troopers stopped them on their way in," the sergeant replied. "I apologize for the delay."_

_The manager waved his hand. "Yeah, yeah. As long as they weren't causing trouble."_

_Seifer and Quistis shook their heads dumbly._

_The sergeant nodded. "Very good. You two are free to go. Stay in school next time, eh?"_

_Seifer thrust a middle finger at the soldier's backside as he walked away and Quistis breathed a sigh of relief. As soon as the front door shut, the manager sighed and put his hands on his hips._

_"Look, I don't know who you are or what you were trying to pull, but you're lucky I don't like the Galbadian government."_

_Quistis stepped forward. "Sir, we can't thank you enough - "_

_The manager put up a hand to interrupt her. "You can thank me by leaving this building. Just what were you two thinking? You know, they're looking for teenagers from Balamb because of the whole hijacking attempt. You'd better scoot your asses on out of Timber if you want to avoid the Galbadian authorities. We're already surrounded by troops enough as it is because of the broadcast they're doing next door."_

_Quistis cleared her throat. "We're sorry. Of course. We'll leave immediately."_

_The manager jerked his thumb over his shoulder. "Take the side door towards the alley. It runs parallel to a pub near here, but go the opposite way you came. Whatever you do, don't head towards the TV station. There's Galbadians all over the place."_

_Quistis nodded. "Yes. Thank you, sir."_

_The manager waved his hand irritably and stepped back into his office. Without another word, Seifer and Quistis made their way through the cubicles and took the side exit, which led out to large recycling bins full of newspaper materials and paper waste. They both looked up and down the alley. It was clear._

_"What the fuck was that?" Seifer hissed. "Hijacking_ attempt_? As in, the hijacking didn't work?"_

_"I don't know," Quistis shook her head._

_"Was Leonhart's team assigned to kidnap the president??"_

_"I don't know, Seifer!"_

_"Well it sure as hell sounded like it, and it sure as hell sounded like they fucked up," Seifer shook his head._

_"So what? We can't interfere! Let's go back to the city outskirts and try to make our way to a train station outside of Timber," Quistis started to pace, thinking out loud. "If the trains aren't running, we'll have to find another way to Balamb. The Galbadian Garden isn't too far from here…we can make it back on foot…"_

_"I don't know what the fuck_ you're _talking about," Seifer shrugged, "but I already told you that I'm not going back."_

_"Seifer! Stop this! This is absolutely ridiculous! Are you hearing yourself?" Quistis balled her fists and whispered loudly in anger. "This is insane! There's nothing you can do!"_

_Seifer sighed. "Seriously, Trepe. Run off and play or something. Daddy has to go and find a president."_

_Quistis's jaw dropped. "You can't be considering…"_

_Seifer ignored her and started to walk in the direction of the TV station._

_"Seifer! Seifer, no!" Quistis trotted after him, forgetting about her voice volume. "Stop! I'll have no choice but to place you under arrest!"_

_Seifer couldn't help it. He laughed. "What?? You're going to arrest me? Oh, that's rich, Trepe. Good one."_

_He knew she wouldn't do it. Besides, she couldn't physically restrain him. The only thing she had going for her was magic, but it was too risky to cast any spells now. Just in case…_

_Quistis muffled a curse when she saw a pale, green light envelope Seifer and then disappear. Status effects were out the window. He'd just cast reflect on himself. She'd forgotten to junction any dispel magic. She let out a frustrated huff and continued to follow him._

_"You can't just waltz into the station and find the president of Galbadia," Quistis tried to reason with him and keep up with his stride at the same time. "It's too heavily guarded. It'd take a team of at least five SeeDs to coordinate an infiltration so smoothly, and you're not even - "_

_"I'm not a SeeD, I know," Seifer snapped, getting agitated by the statement. He'd heard it long enough. "I don't care."_

_"Don't you understand, Seifer??" Quistis rushed up and stood in front of him, putting a hand on his chest and stopping him. "You'll die!"_

_He looked down at her and saw that she was genuinely afraid for him. His gaze trailed down to her hand, which was still firmly planted on his chest, and he sighed. He slowly lifted up his arm, placed his hand over hers, and leaned forward, locking his eyes with hers. There was a tense pause. He looked down at her lips, then back up into her eyes. She swallowed._

_"I'm getting a hard-on, Trepe."_

_She immediately jerked her hand back and curled a lip._

_Seifer grinned. "Since I'm apparently about to die a gallant death, you wanna shack up somewhere and make it worth my while?"_

_Quistis narrowed her eyes. "Oooohhh, you are such an arrogant prick!!!"_

_Seifer grinned. "I know. Still, it's good to know you care."_

_"I don't care," Quistis crossed her arms and looked away. He noticed her face was a slight shade of pink. "I'm just trying to save you from inevitable humility. If you barge in there, gunblade blazing, they're going to shoot you down like an animal. You'll be branded an idiot instead of a hero."_

_Seifer shrugged and started to walk again. "We'll see."_

_"Assuming it_ was _Squall's team that was assigned to go after the president, what if they're already re-assessing their strategy?" Quistis hissed, close at his heels. "What if they're already in there? If you screw up their mission, you could put them in danger."_

_"Squall's a big boy. He can handle himself," Seifer retorted over his shoulder. "Besides, sounds like their mission is already screwed up."_

_Quistis wasn't anywhere near convincing him to return to Balamb when they halted in front of a chain-link fence, blocking the alley and surrounding a large power grid connected to the TV station. The top of the chain-link fence was lined with barb wire and had a sign that read 'DANGER: HIGH VOLTAGE' on it._

_One blast with thundara would definitely get the president's attention, Seifer mused, but I need to get to him in order to get to Matron. _

_He sighed._

_I can't believe those idiots botched their mission. Go fucking figure. Matron would probably be out and about right now if Vinzer Deling was out of the way. It'd certainly make my life a hell of a lot easier. Oh well._

_He pulled open the side of his trench coat and unsheathed Hyperion._

_"What are you doing??" Quistis yelped._

_"I'm gonna slice this bitch open," Seifer replied with a deadly grin. Before Quistis could react, he raised his palm and shot a ball of fire out at the fence, then raised his gunblade, which was glowing orange, and brought it down with one fast swipe. An earsplitting 'ching' rung out through the alleyway and bounced off the walls of the buildings. Quistis swiped her hand through the air to clear the smoke and saw that at least two feet of the fence was gone; the edges of the metal links were glowing orange where the blade had cut through. Seifer was already running past the power grid, through a small parking lot, and towards a set of double doors leading to the TV station._

_"Seifer!" Quistis yelled after him and started running, knowing that there was no turning back now. Dozens of Galbadian soldiers had to have heard the commotion, and she already heard shouts coming from the building._

_She'd burst through the doors to find Galbadian soldiers already on the floor, groaning in pain. Seifer was busy tossing another one across the room. He shoved his gunblade towards the throat of a soldier on the ground._

_"Where's the president?" Seifer bellowed. "Where is he?"_

_"In…in…in the camera room! Two rooms down! Through…through that door! Just don't hurt me!"_

_Seifer stepped away and headed towards the double doors leading to the next room._

_"Seifer!" Quistis cried. "Stop!"_

_He turned around and pointed at her. "Get out of here, Quistis. Just leave while you can."_

_Quistis shook her head and was about to respond, but he had turned and made his way through the second room. Surprised Galbadian soldiers were knocked over in his wake, and he burst into the third room, where a platform was surrounded by cameras and bright lights. Vinzer Deling, the president of Galbadia, was already at a podium speaking._

_Startled shouts came from the camera crew. Galbadian soldiers leapt at Seifer and tried to restrain him, but he threw them off, casting magic on some and swiping towards a few others._

_Almost there…_

_"Stop!" Quistis's voice rung out behind him. "Oh, hell."_

_He heard her snap her whip, tripping a Galbadian soldier out of his peripheral vision. She knocked over a few others as they went for Seifer's flank, and he continued towards the president, knocking a few cameramen out of the way._

_"…the ambassador is the sorceress…gk…" the president was saying, but stopped short and took a step back when Seifer charged up the dais and grabbed Deling's arm, yanking it behind him and shoving his gunblade against his throat._

_More Galbadian soldiers rushed into the room, but Quistis created a perimeter by stepping in front of Seifer and snapping her whip menacingly. "Stay back!"_

_She glanced back to Seifer, a wild look on her face. They were trapped. Even worse, they were on camera. She'd looked to him for some sort of maneuver._

_Seifer was breathing hard and glanced at her, then his eyes darted towards all the exits. Two were being flooded by more troops. The stage behind them, however, was empty. He started to back up._

_Quistis turned around and snapped her whip again at the advancing Galbadians. "For the last time, stay back! You're only going to provoke him!"_

_As Seifer backed away, Quistis did as well. She was holding both palms out, one ready to cast magic, the other holding the whip ready. She glanced behind her again and took a few more steps back. Then she noticed a camera._

_"Timber team, are you watching??" she cried urgently. "Get over here right now! You HAVE permission! I need your help!"_

_"All of you," Seifer barked at the camera crew, "back off, unless you want to see this poor bastard die!"_

_The cameramen backed away and shuffled nervously out of the room._

_"Same goes to you fucks!" Seifer ordered the Galbadian soldiers. "Stand down! Lower your weapons and back away, or he'll be singing through his jugular!" He glanced down at the president and tightened his grip. "Tell them."_

_"Do as he says," the president hissed through clenched teeth._

_The soldiers obeyed and backed away._

_Fuck. Fuck! Now what? The sorceress had to see that. She's gotta be somewhere close by. What if I kill him? I should just kill him…that's what the other SeeDs were supposed to do anyway, wasn't it?_

_Seifer looked around wildly. So far, there was no sign of Matron._

_If she doesn't show up, what's going to happen?_

_Seifer was seriously debating whether or not to cut Deling's throat when Quistis turned on him, breathing hard and clenching her fists._

_"Are you out of your fucking mind?!" she yelled at him. "This has gone too far! We've got to get out of here!"_

_At least the TV ratings will shoot through the roof._

_"There's no going back," Seifer barked. "I told you to leave! Why did you follow me?"_

_Suddenly, there was more shouting from the next room and Zell tumbled in, followed by Selphie and Squall._

_"Help me! We need to restrain him!" Quistis cried._

_"What do you think you're doing?!" Squall barked at Seifer._

_"It's obvious, ain't it??" Seifer growled back. "What are you planning to do with this guy?"_

_Squall blinked. "…Planning to do?"_

_"I get it!" Zell blurted out. "You're Rinoa's - "_

_"Shut your damn mouth, Chicken-wuss," Seifer warned loudly. _

_No names, you ignorant fuck. You're going to get us all killed._

_"He broke out of the disciplinary room," Quistis explained quickly, "injuring many in the process."_

_Zell glared at him and clenched his fists. "YOU STUPID IDIOT!"_

_Squall shot Zell a hard glare. "Be quiet."_

_"Instructor, I know!" Zell cried, ignoring Squall. "You're gonna take this stupid idiot back to Garden, ri - "_

_"Shut up!" Squall barked, trying to cut Zell off. "NO!"_

_We're dead._

_"I see," the president suddenly wheezed, making them all turn to him. Seifer's grip tightened but the president chuckled. "So you're all from Garden. Should anything happen to me, the entire Galbadian military will undoubtedly crush Garden. You can let go of me now."_

_Fuck. Seifer pressed the gunblade tighter against his neck and glared at Zell. "Nice going, Chicken-wuss!" he shouted angrily. "You and your stupid big mouth!" He glared at Squall and Quistis. "Take care of this mess, instructor and mister leader!"_

_He slowly backed away, dragging the president backstage._

_Fuck. Shit. She hasn't shown herself and now Garden is in danger. Quistis was right. I shouldn't have gone this route. Fucking Zell. Damn it. Damn it. I've just endangered hundreds of students. What the fuck am I doing here? I haven't accomplished anything. How am I going to get out of this fucking mess?_

_"Look, kid…just let me go and we could negotiate something…" the president choked out._

_"Shut up," Seifer snapped through clenched teeth._

_Kill him. I could just kill him. But no. All that shit was on camera. Too many witnesses. If I killed him now, they'd know it was me. But if I killed him, maybe I could shift the attention from Garden to just myself. I could pretend I was just nuts…_

_"Poor, poor boy."_

_Huh?_

_The echoing whisper of a woman's voice materialized in his ears but there wasn't a figure to match the sound. The room suddenly dimmed into a blue, purplish light. Seifer looked around wildly. The President didn't seem to notice. There was nothing else but props, powered-off cameras, and a dangling silver drape. Suddenly, the drape started to ripple and shimmer like water, and a woman walked out of it as if she'd just floated through a wall of silver magic._

_Seifer stepped back automatically and his eyes widened._

_Matron…! Is that her?_

_Her skin was deathly pale. He couldn't see her face. It was hidden behind a strange, red visor, but he could see that purple and grey bruises blossomed up around her cheekbones as some invisible force invaded her mind, causing unnatural-looking veins to pop out and snake towards her eyes. She was wearing a long black dress that hugged her thin figure and the tips of her gloved fingers were just a little too long for Seifer's comfort. She hadn't cut her nails in months._

_Seifer swallowed and took a step back._

_"Such a confused, little boy," her voice sounded like it was far away and also replaced by something sharper. It was a harsh whisper mixed in with a sultry, deep tone. It scared him._

_This was definitely not Matron._

_"Stay away from me!" he barked._

_"Are you going to step forward…? Retreat? You have to decide," she said to him._

_The sorceress raised her hands and there was a loud sound, like a ricochet, that pinged off into the atmosphere. He heard Quistis cry out, then there was nothing. He wanted to turn around and check on her, whatever had happened, but he was too horrified with the image in front of him._

_"The boy in you is telling you to come," the sorceress observed in an amused tone. "The adult in you is telling you to back off. You can't make up your mind." She started to walk slowly towards him. With each step she took, he took a hesitant step backwards. "You don't know the right answer. You want help, don't you? You want to be saved from this predicament."_

_Seifer curled a lip at her. "Shut up!"_

_This was not part of the fucking job description! What in the hell is wrong with her?_

_He wasn't ready to see Matron like this._

_"Don't be ashamed to ask for help," she whispered. If she was trying to sound consoling, it wasn't working. "Besides, you're only a little boy."_

_He wasn't sure if it was Matron talking or if it was the devil inside her. "I'm not…" he paused and checked his temper, hoping he wasn't being too transparent. He was absolutely amazed that despite the horrific circumstances, his heartbeat hadn't picked up. It remained calm. Steady._

_He could do this._

_He swallowed and forced himself to focus, hoping he was getting through to Matron. "Stop calling me a little boy."_

_We're not at the orphanage anymore._

_She cocked her head. "You don't want to be a boy anymore?"_

_That's right...can you hear me, Matron?_

_Seifer narrowed his eyes. "I am not a BOY!"_

_President Deling saw his chance. He wriggled out of Seifer's grasp and made a dash for it, but Seifer let him go. He wasn't important anymore._

_Edea held out her hand. "Come with me to a place of no return. Bid farewell to your childhood."_

_This is it._

_Seifer set his jaw and nodded. She motioned to the curtain._

_Seifer glanced back to see Quistis frozen in place, crouched in a position holding her head as if she was trying to block something out of her mind. Squall, Selphie and Zell were running backstage, trying to catch up._

_Too late, losers._

_He gave them a grim smile and saluted them with his gunblade._

_See you on the other side._

_He turned and walked through the portal without a second glance._


	7. Forgiveness

Squall ran a hand through his hair and sighed, gazing down at his empty mug.

_How many cups of coffee have I had? Fuck. This can't be good on the kidneys._

He'd just come back from an early session with Dr. Kadowaki and had time to kill. Breakfast was over and it wasn't time for lunch, so the cafeteria was relatively quiet. Rinoa was probably still sleeping and he hadn't seen the other members of the usual crew. He glanced over and gazed out at the tall windows on the far side of the room. A few birds flew by into the morning sun. Further ahead was the far-away horizon of green fields and a blue ocean.

He rubbed his eyes and blinked. The sessions with Dr. Kadowaki hadn't really done much to improve the symptoms from time compression, but they did calm his nerves, somewhat. He wasn't as murderously vengeful towards Seifer as he thought he'd originally be, and he didn't really harbor any sort of resentment towards Cid as he thought he definitely would.

Rinoa's support helped him a lot. Shit, she never hated anyone. Even after seeing her out on the balcony, talking to Seifer as if nothing had ever happened, the familiar rage diffused upon seeing the look on both their faces. Seifer looked tired and sad. Rinoa looked friendly and…

Forgiving.

_Squall slowly sat on the edge of her bed and put a hand on her shoulder, using a thumb to caress her skin._

"_Rinoa."_

_She let out a sleepy sigh and blinked her eyes open slowly, smiling once she saw him._

"_Mmm. Hey. What time is it?"_

"_It's late afternoon."_

"_Have I been sleeping all this time?"_

"_Yeah, but don't worry about it. We're all tired."_

_Rinoa sat up and gazed at him curiously, noticing the furrow in his brow. "What is it?"_

"_I…uh…well, there's something I have to tell you."_

_Rinoa blinked. "How did your meeting with Cid go?"_

_Squall sighed. "Well…that's just it. It, uh, didn't go as I had planned."_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_Cid brought Matron back, like we were expecting, but he brought someone else back as well."_

_Rinoa didn't reply and patiently waited for an answer._

_Squall looked down and shifted his posture. "Uh…he uh…"_

_There was really no easy way to say it._

"_Squall," Rinoa held out her hand and gripped his, "it's all right. You can tell me."_

_Squall sighed again. "Seifer's back."_

_Rinoa blinked, surprised, but didn't reply. Squall squeezed her hand._

"_He's not…Seifer's not what we thought he was. He's not a monster. He wasn't Ultimecia's knight. He was undercover the entire time. He's a SeeD."_

_Rinoa narrowed her eyes, trying to understand the news._

"_Cid sent Seifer out to recover Matron," Squall explained quietly. "That's what it was all about, from the beginning. The Headmaster wanted his wife back, but because she was the sorceress, he wanted to do it so she wouldn't get hurt. He sent Seifer after her to try to figure out what was going on. So Seifer went on a mission to retrieve her…and he had to do whatever was necessary to get her back safely…even if it meant fighting against us."_

_Rinoa looked down and blinked again. Squall swallowed and watched her closely, anxious that she might be upset._

"_I'm sorry, Rinoa. I know that what he did to you…well, what he did to all of us…"_

_Rinoa shook her head and a tiny smile formed on her face. "All this time…?"_

_Squall nodded grimly. "Yeah. Seems like. Xu and Cid told us this morning. I still don't really understand it. It's…still a little hard to believe."_

_Rinoa's smile grew wider and she let out a silent chuckle. Squall cocked his head._

"_Are you all right?"_

_Rinoa finally lifted her head and smiled at him. Her eyes were glossed over, but she was happy. _

"_I knew it. I knew Seifer had some good in him."_

She wasn't mad. She wasn't scared. She wasn't angry or upset. She was actually _glad_. She was glad that he wasn't a bad guy after all. She didn't even care about all those things he did – just that he did it for the greater good. She didn't even ask any questions.

_Shit. I'm still trying to get over the fact that he attempted to kill us all. Maybe I should start being thankful that he didn't. Maybe I should just be thankful that he practically saved our asses._

Squall sighed again and finished up the rest of his coffee, which had gone cold.

_I wish I could be more like Rinoa sometimes._

In his world, it was hard to be forgiving.

"Squall, when the emergency measure was taken to appoint you the role of Commander, how did you feel?" Dr. Kadowaki had asked.

There was a long pause before he'd answered.

He felt a lot of things. Panic. Aggression. Surprise. The teeniest swell of pride. Apprehension. Most of which couldn't be formed into a comprehensive emotion, especially given in that short amount of time, when everything seemed to be happening all at once…but mostly, he was just…

"…I was angry."

The appointment, in his view, was random, unnecessary, and too hasty of a decision. He was frustrated at the fact that something so organized as a military school had been tossed into chaos, resulting in unorganized decisions. He was angry at Cid for deciding upon the appointment without even consulting him first, and he was angry at Xu and Quistis for encouraging it. But, because things were happening so quickly and the students needed to be taken care of, there wasn't time to refute the measure. To his chagrin, he became Commander and essentially led the SeeDs to war against Seifer and the sorceress.

_But that's how it had to be._

He'd hardly had any time to think about it then, but there was plenty of time to think about it now. Cid knew exactly what he was doing when he appointed Squall to be the leader. Seifer was on the other side, trying to do his job, and the only other person capable of complementing him was Squall. One was yin and one was yang. There were only two gunblade bearers in Garden. They were from the same orphanage, making them practically brothers. They even had the same temperament, even if Seifer was a massive extrovert and Squall was more of an introvert. They were always rivals. When one challenged the other, it was always met with no exceptions. When Seifer grazed his blade across Squall's skull, Squall answered back. When Seifer hijacked Galbadia Garden and attacked them, it was Squall who responded with his own counterattack.

Cid knew exactly what he was doing.

Squall sighed and stared at his coffee cup.

_I was just too angry to realize it. That's how we were raised. To grow up to be emotionless killers. Well, maybe not emotionless…but…_

He sighed and thought back on another one of Dr. Kadowaki's questions, nearly laughing out loud.

_I can't believe how perfectly fucked up everything turned out._

"Squall, when you were put in charge of the SeeD team for Timber, did you know where it would lead you?"

Squall almost snorted out a chuckle. The Timber Owls' shitty planning combined with the Headmaster's vague – almost lazily thrown together – contract, he was certain they'd all end up in a mental institution. Once he saw the 'leader's' pink, fuzzy room on the train, he thought he'd officially gone insane.

"Absolutely not," Squall replied. "We had no idea what the mission even was before we got to Timber, and once we were able to execute a plan, which was poorly arranged by amateurs, we hadn't received any specific orders of how to continue from there." He cleared his throat and added in a low voice, "Don't tell Rinoa I said that."

Dr. Kadowaki chuckled. "My lips are sealed."

"We sort of drifted," Squall admitted. "Headmaster Cid's orders were a little unclear, unless we'd interpreted them incorrectly. My SeeD team had to follow the resistance faction around until they released us from the contract."

"_Let's come up with a plan!" Rinoa grinned at Zone and Watts. She glanced over at Squall, Zell, and Selphie, who were standing around on the far end of the train car and blinked at her expectantly. "Um…could you guys give us a few minutes?"_

_Zell put his hands on his hips and tapped his foot impatiently. Selphie glanced over at Squall, and Squall narrowed his eyes. He stepped forward and crossed his arms._

_I've had enough of this. They don't even know what the fuck they're doing, and I'm not going to endanger my team again based on their piss-poor half-baked plots of misconstrued heroism._

"_Before we get into that, could I see your contract with our Garden?"_

_Rinoa nodded. "Yeah, sure."_

_She turned to a small table and rifled through a few file folders, coming upon a piece of paper that was half-folded and looked like coffee had been spilled on the corner. She unfolded it and handed it to Squall._

_Squall looked at the page with a half-disgusted frown on his face. He grabbed it and turned towards Zell and Selphie, reading it silently._

"_What's it say?" Zell asked in a low voice._

"'_Balamb Garden – hereafter referred to as Party A – acknowledges the Forest Owls – hereafter referred to as Party B – as the hiring party. SeeD – hereafter referred to as Party C – shall be dispatched upon signing of this contract. Party C shall operate under the supervision - '"_

"_The hell?" Zell interrupted Squall's reading with a confused snort._

"_I don't get it," Selphie grimaced._

"_Oh yeah," Rinoa grabbed the paper out of Squall's hand and folded it back up, "that one's pretty confusing." She knelt down on the floor and rifled through more papers, which were scattered around, and found a different page, buried under the disorganized pile. "When I told him I didn't understand, he gave me a different one." She held it out to Squall._

_Squall gave Rinoa an annoyed glare. She smiled back at him._

"_Cid is such a nice man."_

_Rolling his eyes, he snatched the page out of her hand and turned back towards his team._

"_What's it say this time?" Selphie asked._

"'_To the Forest Owls,'" Squall read aloud. "'This SeeD deployment contract will last until Timber achieves independence. Please make good use of each SeeD member. I wish you the best with your objective. Please understand that this contract is an exception, and no replacement of any SeeD members can be made…'"_

_Even as he read it, Squall curled his lip at each word._

_This makes no sense. Until Timber achieves independence? No replacements? How is this contract an exception? What in the…?_

"Squall," Dr. Kadowaki interrupted his thoughts, "what if I told you Cid did that on purpose?" She glanced at him from under the rim of her glasses.

Squall narrowed his eyes. "What?"

"You know the Headmaster doesn't draft up a contract by the seat of his pants," Dr. Kadowaki explained. "There are lives – and money – at stake during a SeeD operation."

Squall blinked at her.

"The Timber Owls probably didn't have a whole lot of money, let alone much of a purpose," Dr. Kadowaki said. "They were just like any other ragtag group of teenie-bopping resistance members spread throughout Timber. Am I correct?"

Squall nodded, suddenly numb, the realization dawning on his face.

_Cid paced in front of them, looking grim. "About your first mission…you are to go to Timber. There, you will be supported by a resistance faction. That is your mission. A member of the faction will contact you at Timber Station."_

"_This person will talk to you and say, 'the forests of Timber sure have changed.' At this time, you will reply, 'But the owls are still around.' That is the password," a Garden faculty member added._

_Cid nodded. "Just follow the faction's orders."_

"_Uh…" Zell glanced around. "Just us three?"_

"_Correct," the Garden faculty member nodded. "We have agreed to do this mission for very little money. Normally, we would never accept such requests, but - "_

"_Enough talk about that," Cid cut in quickly, clearing his throat. "Well, then, Squall, you're the squad leader. Use your best judgment based on the situation. Zell and Selphie, you are to support Squall and give your all to carry out the faction's plans. That is all. Dismissed."_

_Quick and confusing,_ Squall mused. _Almost no explanation as to what the mission entailed, why we were even helping them, or how dangerous it was going to be. Weird._ _The_ _Headmaster seemed distracted that day…he didn't want to explain the details…no wonder. They were after Matron. Hyne. Could I have been that blind?_

"Cid knew the whole time," Squall replied quietly. "He wasn't sending us to help the Timber Owls, was he? That's why the contract was so strange. He was sending us to Timber, and the resistance faction was just a convenient alibi. He knew Edea, the president, and Seifer would be in the same area. He wanted us all to…" Squall trailed off. It all seemed so complicated, yet so simple. Edea's children, all gathered together, to bring her back. Cid couldn't tell them directly because he knew they'd lost their memories to the GF. Edea's situation wouldn't have made sense to them. Instead, he gave them a phony mission and left the rest up to fate.

Dr. Kadowaki smiled at him. "Organized disorganization, hm?"

_No shit._

Squall rubbed his forehead and sighed, staring into his cup.

"Damn."

What a day. He wasn't sure he could handle any more epiphanies at this rate. Trying to make sense of the whole thing was too much to wrap his mind around for now. What seemed to have started out as a gigantic accident was turning out to be premeditated from the start.

It certainly fucked things up from his SeeD standpoint. Soldiers didn't believe in fate. Soldiers believed that for every action there must be a reaction. Cause and effect. Fight or flee. Live or die.

More often than not, however, the entire turn of events during the Second Sorceress War had been proving Squall wrong – constantly – about fate and coincidence.

He slowly stood up to refill the umpteenth cup of coffee.

_I…have…a…fucking…headache._

. . . . . .

Quistis walked out of the medical ward and sighed, leaning against the wall to examine the small vial of pills in her hand.

_Trepe, Quistis. SeeD rank 24. Take once a day with an evening meal. Will cause drowsiness. Do not consume alcohol with this product._

_Great,_ she thought. _Hours of storytelling sessions only to drug me up. You sure are making progress, Quistis._

"Please understand, Quistis," Dr. Kadowaki had reassured her earlier. "This will help you sleep at night. It's only temporary, in order to help you out of your transition from time compression. It'll make your nights a little more comfortable - "

"But has anyone else experienced these symptoms?" Quistis asked. "Am I the only one?"

"I'm sorry, Quistis, but that information is confidential."

"They haven't, have they?" Quistis asked bitterly. "I don't get it. Why am I still having nosebleeds at night?"

"Some are slower than others, Quistis," Dr. Kadowaki explained softly. "Just give it time, dear. Poor Ellone's condition hasn't made much progress, either."

Standing out in the hallway, she lowered the pills and closed her eyes. Quistis rolled her head back, letting it hit the wall behind her. Ellone. As if she'd needed any more salt on the wounds, Dr. Kadowaki brought up Sis.

There hadn't been any reports on her condition, which meant that she was still in intensive care. Still out of it. Still locked in a nightmare. Still in a bizarre coma.

Quistis partially blamed herself, but she wasn't ready to admit it to anyone. Ellone had helped them go after Ultimecia once time compression started, but they hadn't been able to help her in return. The poor girl had been hiding for most of her life and was exploited for her unique abilities, but did she ever have a chance at a normal life?

Quistis closed her eyes bitterly. _That is, if our lives were considered normal by any means._

And then, of course, there was her encounter with Seifer earlier in the week, which had been less than pleasant, but at least he was relatively civil. At least they weren't trying to kill each other. At least she hadn't seen him since then.

What a wonderful start to the week.

She rubbed her eyes. She blamed herself for Seifer as well, but _that_ she'd never admit to a living soul. It was possible Dr. Kadowaki already knew anyway.

_They were tired, sweaty, dirty, and aggravated. Rinoa had tried to strike up friendly conversation, but aside from Selphie, the SeeDs weren't in the mood. Quistis had been busy worrying about how exactly she was going to explain everything, Squall was busy trying to figure out what the hell was causing those bizarre hallucinations, Zell had been unusually quiet and brooded over the previous events in Timber, and Selphie was…Selphie. She'd hummed and picked flowers along the way. When Galbadia Garden finally came into view, they all felt relieved. It meant sanctuary amongst other SeeD mercenaries, and perhaps Martine would be sympathetic towards their cause._

_Maybe._

_Botching a mission wasn't exactly highly regarded. They all knew that they had some major explaining to do._

_The two hour walk through the woods had been more than tense. Quistis felt as if the air would split open any minute._

_They'd just lost one of their own. Well, technically he wasn't…but…Seifer was still a part of Garden. A part of their family._

_Now he was gone without a trace._

_It had all gone terribly wrong. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen._

_Quistis had been wracking her brain about what could have possibly happened backstage. One minute, she was running towards him – he had his back to her and was speaking to a strange woman – and the next she was crouched on the floor, holding her head, wondering why the hell her ears were ringing. Seifer was gone. There was no sign of President Deling._

_But who was that…that woman? Deling said something about the ambassador being a sorceress. Was that her? Was she trying to coax Seifer into letting the president go?_

_Squall, Zell, and Selphie had absolutely no idea what had happened, either. They hadn't had much time to discuss it before the entire station was swarming with Galbadian soldiers._

_It was a miracle they'd escaped unnoticed._

_None of them really spoke of the event after that. Except for Rinoa._

_Quistis had been so angry to listen to Rinoa talk about Seifer, but she kept her mouth shut. Duty first. Emotions later. Besides, Rinoa had helped them escape. In addition, Rinoa had been clucking at Squall for being emotionless and cold-hearted practically the whole time, so Quistis set aside her frustrations and watched as Squall tried to deal with it instead. For the most part, he'd ignored it…but the look in his steely expression showed that he was getting more and more agitated by the minute._

_And then they all passed out and had a bizarre dream. That was just too weird for words._

_Quistis shook her head and tried to forget about it. Their priority now was getting the whole Timber mess straightened out._

_Once they passed through the gates of Galbadia Garden, they were routinely searched and presented identification to a few SeeDs. After being allowed entry, they all stood upon the threshold of the campus and looked up at the massive complex. _

"_Wow," Selphie breathed. "It's completely different."_

_Zell crossed his arms. "Sure is quiet."_

_Squall put a hand on his hip and shrugged. "I like it."_

_Quistis sighed and turned towards the group. "Could you leave this up to me? I've been here several times and I know the Headmaster pretty well. I'll go and explain our situation."_

_Squall nodded grimly, giving her an appreciative glance. He knew she was ten times better at diplomacy than he was._

_She turned around and headed towards Martine's office, half-numb. What would she say to him? Did he receive word about the President? What about Cid? She knew she had to cover for Cid and the rest of the SeeD team._

_She sighed and gritted her teeth. Dammit, Seifer. Dammit, Zell._

_No. Not Seifer's or Zell's fault. Don't place blame. Just focus on what you have to do now._

_President Deling would no doubt bring down the fist, swift and strong. A Garden student shoved a gunblade up against his throat during a live broadcast, for Hyne's sake. She lamented the fact that Seifer didn't kill him, then they could've at least attempted to cover up their actions with some sort of phony conspiracy…they could've used any Timber resistance faction as an alias…conjured up a few testimonies…it's been done before…_

_Quistis bit her lip. No, don't think that. It's not Cid's way. Be thankful that lives were spared…nobody was hurt…a dead president would've meant war on Garden…_

_Who am I kidding? Seifer's gone. He's gone. He vanished with that…that woman…that sorceress…_

_At Martine's door, she straightened her posture and cleared her throat._

_Knock, knock._

"_Enter," came the muffled reply._

_Quistis entered his office and shut the door silently. She stood at attention in front of his desk and saluted. Martine looked up from his paperwork and blinked._

"_Quistis?"_

"_Headmaster Martine, SeeD Quistis Trepe from Balamb Garden reporting."_

_Martine gave her a small smile and stood up. "At ease, Quistis. My goodness, how long has it been? I must admit, the teaching around here has been somewhat lax since you stopped your adjunct position - "_

"_Headmaster Martine, I'm so sorry to have arrived at Galbadia Garden without prior clearance, but our situation is urgent," she interrupted apologetically. "A SeeD team from Balamb had been dispatched to Timber and the mission was compromised - "_

"_By a rogue student by the name of Seifer Almasy," Martine interrupted grimly. "Yes, I know."_

_Quistis blinked. "You…you do?"_

_Martine stepped around his desk and nodded. "I've been informed by Headmaster Cid that Almasy left Garden against code and was possibly headed to Timber. We weren't sure if he'd held you as a hostage - "_

"_What?? Of course not! I tried to restrain him!" Quistis shook her head and almost laughed._

" – _all the same," Martine continued, "I received this information yesterday. We weren't expecting him to go for the president, however."_

_Quistis swallowed and looked at the ground._

"_That broadcast came as quite a shock," Martine folded his hands grimly. "A lot of civilians saw it, Quistis."_

"_Please, you have to understand," Quistis insisted. "Balamb Garden mustn't be held accountable! The SeeD mission had nothing to do with that incident in the Timber station! If anyone is to be blamed, blame me! I'm the one who gave them the order to expose themselves so we could try to restrain Almasy! He was out of control and out of line, I understand that…but we tried our best in order to contain the situation - "_

"_Quistis," Martine held up his hands. "Don't worry. Balamb Garden won't be blamed for this debacle. The Galbadian senate realizes that Almasy's outburst was an action taken independent of Garden, and jurisdiction has been handed down to the courts in order to deal with him accordingly."_

_Quistis's heart leapt into her throat. "What? What do you mean? They found him?"_

_Martine pursed his lips sternly and nodded. "He was arrested shortly after the president's attack. He's been tried and convicted of conspiracy against the government of Galbadia - "_

"_What?!" Quistis cried._

" – _and for the attempted assassination of President Deling - "_

"_Wait! Wait, what are you saying?" Quistis took a step forward. "It hasn't even been twenty-four hours! He's been convicted of those crimes in that short of time?"_

"_The evidence was overwhelming, Quistis," Martine responded quietly. "You were there."_

"_Yes, but…but…he was just emotional, that's all…he didn't mean it…" Quistis found her argument to be pathetically weaker by the second. _

_If you knew him, you would understand. He just doesn't think before he acts. He wasn't going to hurt anyone…_

"_Quistis, his offenses were too great to be overlooked by the senate…or the president," Martine replied grimly. "Vinzer Deling isn't one to be trifled with. Almasy angered the Galbadian government, and if they didn't have him to blame, they'd be after Balamb Garden. You know that."_

_Quistis nodded and swallowed, even though her throat had gone completely dry. "So…what was the verdict?" She felt her heart sinking quickly, dreading the answer._

_Marine sighed. "Guilty on all charges. He was executed early this morning by firing squad."_

_Quistis took two steps back and gasped. "Executed?? He's…he's dead? They killed him?"_

"_The jury's decision was unanimous," Martine nodded sadly. "I know he was a student of yours, Quistis. I apologize."_

"_Couldn't Garden have stepped in and at least made a case on his behalf - "_

"_If Balamb Garden would have remotely hinted at the fact that Seifer still had ties to it, the Galbadian senate would have brought additional charges against them. It's bad enough that his abysmal conduct reflects upon us. Luckily, Almasy never mentioned anything about Balamb Garden or anything else that would put all of you in danger. He must've taken full responsibility for his actions."_

_Quistis felt her breaths quicken. Seifer…no…no! It can't be! How is this possible?! One day he was in detention…just…shooting spitballs at me…and the next…_

"_What…what about that woman?" Quistis swallowed back the burning tears. "The woman who was with Seifer? Who was she? Did they see her?"_

_Martine blinked. "A woman?"_

_Quistis nodded._

_He shook his head. "I'm afraid I don't know who you're talking about." _

_Quistis looked at the floor, shaken. So many thoughts had rushed into her head that she couldn't form a comprehensive sentence. Not one that was devoid of emotion, anyway. SeeDs weren't supposed to get emotional over fallen comrades…and Seifer wasn't even a SeeD._

_Hyne. Seifer's dead. He's dead. Executed by firing squad…How could this happen?_

"_Quistis," Martine cleared his throat. "You've had a long day. I suggest you go back to your squad…"_

_It wasn't even my squad. I was here because of Seifer…_

_Quistis clenched her teeth and forced the choking sobs down. _

_SeeDs don't cry. SeeDs don't mourn. Get a hold of yourself, Trepe._

"…_tell them the news, and then rest up a bit. We'll accommodate you, all right? The cafeteria will be open. Take what you need. There's time before your next briefing."_

_Quistis glanced up, ignoring the blur from the tears collecting in her eyes. "Briefing?"_

"_I've just received a correspondence from Cid Kramer, by way of two Balamb couriers," Martine explained, motioning to a folded letter sitting on his desk. "You've been assigned a new mission."_

_Quistis swallowed again and stood at attention. "Yes, sir."_

"_I'll go over it in more detail once you've all regrouped. Dismissed."_

_Quistis saluted, nodded, and turned around to head for the door. Once she reached the knob, Martine called out to her._

"_Cadet!"_

_Quistis paused._

"_Don't dwell on it, Quistis," he said softly. "You've got a job to do."_

_Quistis lowered her head, took a deep breath, and replied, "Yes, headmaster."_

_She left the room and made her way down the hallway, somewhat dizzy. She felt like she was in a dream…no, a nightmare. One of her students was tried and executed. She placed a hand on the wall and let it trail against the cold paint as she walked, staring at the ground, half holding herself up. She tried to reason with herself that he had it a long time coming…that everyone had to face the consequences for their actions…that Seifer did his duty by taking all of the blame himself and pleading guilty to keep Garden safe…_

_Why was she so sad?_

_Seifer never placed the blame on anyone. He always admitted fault. Even when he gave Squall that gash, he practically boasted about it. It was almost as if he wanted to be punished…like he knew he already deserved it…but no matter how extreme he got, he'd never blame anyone else…_

"_Excuse me…Instructor Trepe?"_

_Quistis glanced up. A Galbadian student was standing in front of her._

"_Are…are you all right, Instructor Trepe?"_

_I'm not an instructor anymore. I couldn't even bring one of my students back. He's dead now because of it._

_Quistis stared at him dully. "I'm fine."_

_The student nodded and cleared his throat. "SeeD cadet Leonhart told me to tell you that they were waiting in the conference room, on the second floor. It's just down the hall, to the left."_

_Quistis nodded. "Thank you."_

_The student nodded and walked past her. She stood up straighter and continued to walk, but each step seemed to get heavier. Each step seemed filled with dread…resentment…agony…burden…anger…_

_Once she reached the door to the conference room, she leaned against the wall and put a shaky hand to her face. Suddenly, she started to weep silently. She couldn't control herself any longer._

_He's dead! He's dead! Oh, Hyne, he's dead, and it's all my fault!_

_Martine's words didn't console her. If she would have managed to successfully stop Seifer from reaching the station, none of this would have happened._

_Seifer…oh, no, no, no! No! Noooo!_

_She covered her mouth and squeezed her eyes shut, choking the forceful sobs back down into her belly. _

_I warned him! Oh, Seifer. Why? Why didn't you listen to me? Hyne, I warned him and still he went! I should have tried harder to stop him…I should have jumped in…I should have done something…and now he's dead because I was too weak to do anything about it!_

_She wanted to scream, but she knew that she couldn't let the others see or hear her. Crying wasn't going to solve anything. They had a mission to focus on. If anything, she had to be strong for them. She had to set an example. She couldn't help Seifer, but she could still help the others._

_Come on, Quistis. Pull yourself together. If Seifer saw you, he'd be laughing. Besides, he hates pity._

_Quistis licked her lips and swallowed, quickly brushing the tears from her face and sniffling softly. She used a sleeve to wipe up the wetness from her cheeks and ran an index finger under the rims of her eyes, then used the other sleeve to dab at her nose. She sniffed again and took a few breaths, blinked, wiped at her eyes again, pulled out her glasses, put them on, brushed her hair behind her ears, and straightened her posture. She swallowed again, took another deep breath, and placed her hand on the knob._

_Squall, who had been leaning against the desk with his arms crossed, was busy glaring at the floor with his brow furrowed in silent thought when she entered the room. He immediately straightened and stepped forward._

"_How'd it go?"_

"_They understand our situation," Quistis replied rigidly. She glanced at Zell. "Balamb Garden is safe."_

_Zell slumped over and sighed in relief._

"_The attack on the president in Timber was classified as an independent action," she continued with a stony expression. "There was an official notice from the Galbadian government saying that Balamb Garden is not being held responsible."_

"_So, Seifer's taking all the blame?" Zell furrowed his eyebrows._

_Quistis set her jaw and paused. She turned her head away. "The trial's over," she said in a strained voice. She paused again and swallowed._

_Zell, Selphie, and Squall watched her anxiously._

"_The sentence has been carried out…" she managed to squeeze the phrase out of her chest, but trailed off and remained silent._

_Rinoa stood up, alarmed. "He was executed??"_

_Quistis didn't reply. She was clenching her jaw and her nostrils flared._

_Rinoa looked down at the floor. "Of course he was. He attacked the president. He sacrificed himself for the Forest Owls…"_

"_It was your group that got Seifer involved in all this," Quistis accused out loud, failing to restrain the anger in her voice. Upon seeing the look on Rinoa's face, however, she paused to check herself. Quistis cleared her throat and softened her tone. "You're a resistance faction, right? You must have been prepared for the worst."_

_When in doubt, employ SeeD mercenary rhetoric. _

"_I'm sure Seifer was prepared, too," she continued, not really believing herself, "so don't think of it as Seifer sacrificing himself for you."_

_He did it for all of us._

_Rinoa looked at the floor._

_Quistis sighed and shook her head helplessly. "I'm sorry. I guess that wasn't much consolation."_

_To be honest, she didn't feel like consoling anyone. She felt like hurting someone._

_Nobody spoke for a long moment. Quistis sighed and slowly sunk down onto the sofa, staring dismally at the carpet in front of her. She looked unusually pale. Squall slowly walked over to her and placed a hand on her shoulder._

"_Are you all right?"_

_Quistis shrugged. "I…I don't even have any good memories of him." She chuckled bitterly. "I've seen troubled children, but he was beyond troubled."_

_I'm only trying to make myself feel better, she thought resentfully. What a joke._

"_Well…" she sighed and hugged herself, trying to act nonchalant. "He wasn't really a bad guy…" Her voice wavered and she cut herself off._

_Luckily Rinoa spoke up._

"_I really liked him," she murmured softly. "He was always full of confidence…smart…just by talking to him, I felt like I could take on the world."_

"_Your boyfriend?" Selphie asked gently._

"_I…don't really know," Rinoa gave them all an embarrassed smile. "I…I think I was in love. I wonder how he felt…?"_

_Quistis closed her eyes and put her head in her palm. She was tired. She had a headache. She didn't want to think anymore._

"_Do you still like him?" Selphie asked._

"_If I didn't, I wouldn't be talking about it," Rinoa shrugged. "It was last summer…I was 16. Lots of fond memories…"_

"_I didn't like the guy," Zell sighed, "but executed…?"_

"_Gee, Zell, you really hated Seifer, didn't you?" Selphie raised an eyebrow._

_Quistis rubbed her forehead. Just…stop…talking…_

"_Yeah, but…" Zell shrugged. "He was from Garden. He was one of us. If I can, I wanna get revenge."_

"Revenge," Quistis murmured.

Dr. Kadowaki blinked. "I beg your pardon?"

Quistis closed her eyes, smiled, and shook her head. Revenge. It all sounded so easy. So simple. Hyne, they were so naïve. One simple word sounded so poetic and valiant, but the actual process was something else entirely. It was bloody, it was painful, and it had torn them apart. When they had seen that Seifer was alive, revenge _for_ him was thrown out the window. Ironically enough, they'd wanted revenge _against_ him.

"I just wish Cid would have told us sooner," Quistis sighed. "Why didn't he tell us?"

"I'm sure the headmaster had his reasons," Dr. Kadowaki assured her softly. "You have to remember, Quistis, that the GF had caused a great deal of amnesia to all of you, save Seifer. Even if Cid had tried to explain the situation to you, it wouldn't have made much sense."

Quistis nodded. "I know."

"And if I may say so, SeeDs operate a hell of a lot better when their mission plan is given to them in simple terms, not based on grounds of emotion built from a search-and-rescue."

Quistis sighed. "I know."

"Did the news of Seifer's death really affect you that much, Quistis?" Dr. Kadowaki asked.

Quistis glanced up. "Well…I…"

Dr. Kadowaki waited patiently.

Quistis tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, knowing it was useless trying to hide the truth from the doctor. "At the time, I simply buried my feelings. I buried everything and did my job. I did what I was supposed to do."

Dr. Kadowaki nodded.

"But now…when I think about it…" Quistis looked at the floor. "Yes. It did. And to see him alive…" her voice trailed off into a whisper. "To see him alive again…but on the side of that…that witch…that _murderer_…"

_Rinoa was screaming, over and over. Squall was choking something incomprehensible and lying in a pool of his own blood. Zell was kneeling over him and shoving away Galbadian soldiers. Irvine was being shackled and led away but looked over his shoulder and was shouting something. Selphie was trying to heal Squall but the soldiers had grabbed her wrists._

_Slow motion. It was all in slow motion._

_Quistis was looking up at Seifer, horrified, as he slowly stood up and walked over to Edea's side._

_Seifer…_

_Seifer…!_

"_Seifer!" she finally managed to cry out._

_Her voice caught his attention and his hatred melted away into something else. She couldn't place it. They locked eyes as she was forcefully pulled away. Instead of loathing him like she thought she would, and instead of screaming out an angry threat, the words didn't come and she simply pleaded with him instead. Pleaded with her eyes._

_Save us._

_Seifer blinked, and his expression suddenly turned neutral. He held out a palm and Squall's body started to glow. Immediately, Edea swirled around and struck him._

"_Imbecile!" she screamed. "What are you doing? You foolish, foolish boy!"_

"_I want him alive," Seifer growled back. "I want him alive so I can torture him myself!"_

_Edea's snarl curled into a sadistic smile. "Very well then, my knight. Do as you please with him. Find out the true purpose of SeeD. Torture them all."_

_Seifer glanced back at Quistis, who was now horrified upon hearing the conversation._

"_Yes, Sorceress."_

That grin…the maddening look in his eyes…

"I wanted to hate him," Quistis admitted through clenched teeth. "I wanted to hate him with every fiber of my being. We thought he betrayed us." She chuckled bitterly. "Even when we thought he was dead he still managed to trick us and pop up in Deling City. We were all so…so _angry_…"

Dr. Kadowaki nodded. Squall had said the same thing earlier.

"But…I couldn't hate him," Quistis folded her arms. "I just couldn't. I thought something was wrong with me. I didn't want to endanger the others by trying something foolish like helping Seifer, but that's what I wanted to do. I just…I couldn't. And I felt terrible because I couldn't."

"It's in your nature, Quistis," Dr. Kadowaki smiled at her gently. "I, for one, opposed the measure taken against your teaching license. There's a reason you were so good with the students. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself."

Quistis didn't respond.

"You've done a magnificent job with your teaching," Dr. Kadowaki continued. "Don't you dare give it a second thought that you've strayed from your duty. Seifer might have been the most difficult, and he might have been the most hard-headed, but he completed a mission – on his own and with no help from anyone else – that saved us all. There's no doubt in my mind your teaching was with him every step of the way."

Quistis glanced up and gave Dr. Kadowaki a weak smile. _Yeah. Sure. He sure displayed his gratitude to me earlier._

There was a long pause. Dr. Kadowaki scribbled a few notes on her clipboard, tucked the pencil behind her ear, and folded her hands.

"What's bothering you, Quistis?"

_A lot of things._ "I'm still having the recurring dreams."

"Is there anything that might help you understand what they mean?"

Quistis shook her head. "No. Nothing."

"Are you still experiencing nosebleeds?"

Quistis nodded hesitantly.

"We're still trying to study this new phenomenon associated with time compression," Dr. Kadowaki said. "It's hard to put together a proper diagnosis based on something we've never treated before. I'm awaiting further instructions from Esthar based on Dr. Odine's research, but they've got their hands full, as you're well aware of."

Quistis nodded.

"But I have my own theory," Dr. Kadowaki continued. "Because your consciousness was tossed across time, perhaps bits and pieces of your memory were left behind – like puzzle pieces. The longer it takes for your mind to return to the physical state, the longer it takes to assemble the scattered pieces. You've gained most of your consciousness back, but you're possibly still experiencing symptoms of amnesia. Perhaps these dreams signify bits and pieces of your consciousness struggling to return to your physical mind?"

Quistis furrowed her brows. "But how can we know whether or not these lost memories aren't due to hosting a GF instead of time compression?"

Dr. Kadowaki chuckled. "That's why it's only a theory. And why some memories return to people faster than others, I can't say."

"What about the nosebleeds?" Quistis asked.

Dr. Kadowaki shook her head. "I'm afraid I don't have an explanation for that. But I do not believe your odd dreams are due to the removal of your GFs. Nosebleeds aren't common symptoms from harboring GFs. I believe it has something to do with the physical mind being torn from its consciousness in time compression."

Quistis sighed. "Nobody would have ever believed that a year ago. That an actual state of mind could be separated from the body. It's crazy to think about."

"They'll be re-writing the history books, that's for sure," Dr. Kadowaki nodded. "Odine must be having a heyday with his sorceress research."

_I just hope he keeps his hands off of Ellone,_ Quistis thought darkly.

Dr. Kadowaki reached over and turned off the recorder. "Our session is done for today, Quistis. Get some rest. I'll write you a temporary prescription that might help slow the nosebleeds…or at least help you sleep at night…"

"Doctor, won't a prescription prevent my consciousness to piece back together my memories?" Quistis asked. "If it's struggling to assemble these 'puzzle-pieces,' as you say, wouldn't a drug inhibit the process?"

"I seriously doubt it, Quistis. As long as you don't plan on jumping through time and space again, you should be fine."

"Yes, but…but a sleeping pill…?" Quistis hated pills. She hated prescriptions. She hated not being able to deal with something herself. She hated the fact that she wasn't in control of her own body…or her own consciousness.

Dr. Kadowaki chuckled and scribbled something on a small pad of paper. "I know you SeeDs don't like medicine, but I strongly suggest you take this prescription to the pharmacy desk, cadet."

Quistis stood out in the hallway, looking at the small bottle of pills, feeling helpless.

_Why can't I just get better…? Why can't things just…go back to normal…_

. . . . . .

Quistis found Squall sitting in the cafeteria, alone, brooding over a cup of coffee. She stuffed the bottle of pills in her pocket and slowly sat across from him.

"Tough day?"

Squall glanced up at her and shrugged. "Tired."

Quistis nodded slowly. "Yeah."

Squall swirled the cold coffee around in the cup and finally gave up on it, pushing the mug away. "How did your session go?"

Quistis snorted and crossed her arms. "Positively enthralling. I'm starting to wonder if Seifer orchestrated this whole thing. Last time I checked, therapy wasn't supposed to be one gigantic guilt-trip."

Squall gave her a slight grin and nodded.

_Got that right._

There was a long pause.

"Have they started to serve lunch yet?" Quistis asked.

"Not yet. We'll know once Zell stampedes in," Squall replied.

Quistis grinned. "I wonder if he sets his watch to the cafeteria's schedule."

"I wouldn't be surprised."

There was another long pause. Quistis wanted to ask Squall about how he was feeling…about how Rinoa was feeling…but she had an inkling that they weren't experiencing the symptoms as severe as she was. She'd heard about how they were both found at Edea's orphanage, fully conscious and healthy. They both must've known where to go.

_I didn't exactly have a destination in mind. Nobody told me where to go. I didn't know what to do._

Sitting across from him, she realized that they hardly had any time to discuss anything other than the war. Their awkward instructor-student relationship quickly melted away into military camaraderie once they were assigned to an important mission together, and their stories at Trabia made them all realize how close they really were to each other. Quistis realized that her last real conversation with Squall was out on the balcony, in the secret area of the training center.

That little chat didn't go over so well.

Any other words they'd exchanged to each other were about battle tactics and strategy, really. Once in awhile she'd teased him about Rinoa, or he'd make a harsh comment about her tendency to baby the others, but they hadn't managed to have a decent conversation together in almost eight months.

"Squall…" she started. "I've just…I wanted you to know…"

Squall watched her.

"_Seifer was a kid who always needed to be the center of attention," Quistis mused in the old basketball court. "But Squall always used to ignore him. Eventually, they'd end up fighting anyway. Squall could have easily walked away from it, but always took up the challenge. He should've just ignored him, but Squall, almost in tears, would say, 'I gotta do my best by myself. Or else I won't be able to see Sis.' I guess I was trying to take Sis...I mean, Ellone's place. I tried, but to no avail. That's probably it. After becoming an instructor, I couldn't stop thinking about Squall. I thought it was…love. I had to hide my feelings because I was an instructor, but I've come to realize that it wasn't. It was my childhood feelings as a big sister that lingered…"_

"I'm sorry if I ever bothered you or made you uncomfortable last year," Quistis sighed. "I only wanted the best for you. And I'm sorry for putting so much pressure on you after naming you 'commander.' And…and if I've ever forced you into a situation you weren't ready to deal with as a SeeD, it was only because I was trying to prepare you for combat, and - "

"I know what you've tried to do, Quistis," Squall cut in softly. "I know that now. And I'm grateful. Believe me, I really am."

Quistis looked down.

"I…well, you know me better than I know myself sometimes," Squall shrugged, looking away. "I'm not the type of person to outwardly express myself. You know that." He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "Rinoa reminds me every day."

Quistis smiled.

"You're like a sister," Squall added. "You've obviously been like a sister to me since the orphanage. To all of us."

They both remained silent for a bit.

"You shouldn't have to apologize for anything," Squall broke the silence. "I'm the one who should be apologizing to you."

Quistis blinked at him.

"I was a jerk last year," Squall admitted. "I took your advice and your help for granted…but, in reality, we couldn't have done it without you, Quistis. There are times that I…I wish you would have been appointed commander instead of me."

Quistis stared at him in surprise.

"Let's face it," Squall shrugged. "You're better at diplomacy than me, you're good at military history, and you know the protocols inside and out. You taught me everything there was to know, for Hyne's sake."

"Squall," Quistis cut in gently, "you know why you were appointed to be the commander."

Squall sighed. "Yeah. I know."

_Because of Seifer._

After a long pause, Squall sat forward. "You've helped me, Quistis," he said. "But now you have to help _him_. We can't do it, but I know you can."

Quistis looked away.

"Seifer and I…we weren't adopted right away because of who we were…" Squall sighed. "I guess it doesn't matter now, since we're all here in Garden…but…you have to look after him now. You're the only one who can do it. He'll never admit it - like I never did - but he needs you. I know he does. He always did."

Quistis glanced at Squall and swallowed.

"It doesn't seem like he needs any help, and he'll probably push you away, but don't let him. Got it?"

Quistis nodded.

Squall crossed his arms and shook his head. "I can't believe I'd ever see the day when I'd be sticking up for this asshole."

"Rinoa's changed you," Quistis observed softly.

Squall's eyes were smiling, but he feigned a frown at her. "Tell anyone and you're dead."

A familiar, jovial voice bellowed into the cafeteria. "Yo, Squall! Quisty!"

Squall and Quistis exchanged glances. "Lunchtime," they both smiled in unison.


	8. Nostalgia

_

* * *

_

**"I find comfort here because I know what is lost, h****ope is always fear for the pain it may cost**

**And I have searched for the reason to go on, ****I've tried and I've tried but it's taking me so long**

**I might be better off closing my eyes, and God will come looking for me in time...**

**All of this dust, all of this past**

**All of this over and gone and never coming back**

**All of this forgotten...not by me..."**

_"All Of This Past"_ by Sarah Bettens

* * *

_Seifer rubbed his face and tried to blink away the growing fatigue. Fuck. How long had it been? Only five days? It felt like eternity. He hardly had any sleep since the TV station…_

_Quistis._

_He hoped she was okay. He didn't know what the witch had done to her, but hopefully it wasn't permanent. Squall and the others probably took care of her._

_I hope to hell those fucksticks figure out where I am. I'll need backup if I want to get Matron out of here safely._

_Which led to another problem. She wasn't Matron._

_His time with Edea quickly taught him that he wasn't dealing with a mild-mannered woman, adored by children everywhere, the Matron of their orphanage. He was dealing with something much more sinister, and he also learned that it was possible she wasn't even of this world._

_Or, at least, of this time._

_Her name was Ultimecia. And she was a bitch. _

_Seifer glanced around. A few Galbadian soldiers were nodding off, guns slung over their shoulders, but the door to the room was closed and there was no sign of movement or sound. She was currently in her own little sitting room, alone, scheming whatever the fuck she schemed about in that borrowed head of hers._

_Did that bitch even sleep?_

_Whatever. Who cares. Focus on your job. Sniff out clues. Figure out how to bring her down…_

_The past week had been almost like a nightmare. Seifer found out quickly that the sorceress wanted to dominate everything that breathed, and whoever got in her way was quickly vaporized. She had little to no opposition from the Galbadian government since she had the president in her pocket – all she had to do was promise the sleaze money and power – and so her plans had started with Deling City. They were already assembling a grand parade, a press conference, and an important announcement._

_Seifer already knew that Edea was going to attempt to take control of Galbadia. The president was too blind, too greedy, and too fucking stupid to see it coming. It was just the first step. Galbadia first…the other continents later…_

_Somehow, she'd recognized Seifer as a "boy" that needed consolation and immediately entrusted him to half the Galbadian army, calling him her "knight" and promising that all his dreams would come true._

_Didn't make much fucking sense to him, but whatever worked._

_He figured that Matron was in there, somewhere, and knew that Seifer was one of her children. Cid's gamble worked. Edea took Seifer in with no questions asked. _

_Either that, or I'm more fucked up than I thought. I must be the poster child for helpless fucking cases._

_Aside from assembling the parade, the Galbadian soldiers were also charged with the task of rounding up and detaining any would-be defectors or troops that could stray from their duty. After the president's announcement, there were quite a few surprised outbursts from the citizens of Deling City and even more protestors were beginning to crowd the streets. They did not like this idea of a sorceress as an ambassador. The wounds from the Sorceress War with Adel were still too raw. A lot of people remembered what it was like to have a sorceress around. They didn't want history to repeat itself. _

_Seifer couldn't blame them, but he had ordered the soldiers to keep the city quiet and under control. The more people that protested Edea's parade, the more people would die. _

_Sorceress Edea was somewhat of an extremist. _

_Good ambassador pick, Seifer thought bitterly. Hyne, Deling was a dumb ass._

_To make matters worse, a few of the Galbadian soldiers did not like the recent turn of events, either. Soldiers were beginning to go AWOL in retaliation to their orders to silence the citizens of their own city or in defiance to the news about the new ambassador. Seifer had no choice but to act like he was in league with the sorceress. He had no choice but to order that the "traitors" be dealt with accordingly._

_Ironic._

_Thank Hyne, however, that the citizens weren't getting too out of hand for the time being. Edea remained quiet and stoic, locking herself in that small sitting room of the Presidential Palace, while they all sat around and dozed. The soldiers took shifts to guard the room, but Seifer never left his post. Although she had requested that he be by her side at all times in public, she'd sometimes disappear into a room by herself and remain in there for hours. Not even Seifer was allowed inside, and he didn't mind. He didn't want to know what she was doing in there. And he wasn't sure if he ever wanted to be alone in the same room with her anyway._

_But it made his job harder. If he was alone with her, it was possible he'd have a chance at bringing Matron back. After observing her behavior for the past week, however, he was beginning to realize that it wasn't going to be that easy. Relying on the Galbadian soldiers to help him take her down was too risky. Some were die-hard loyalists, sorceress or no. Some weren't. Either way, the outcome could get messy, and he didn't want her to be harmed. He couldn't trust anyone except for Cid and the SeeDs, and since there hadn't been any word from them, he had to continue the visage as Edea's "knight."_

_Seifer rubbed his face again and put his elbows on his knees. Tonight would be the announcement. Tonight would be the parade. Somehow, he had to get Edea to come with him…back to Garden…before she set the entire Galbadian army loose on innocent people…_

"_Sir Knight?"_

_Seifer rolled his eyes and glanced over at a Galbadian captain, clad in red. "What?"_

"_My apologies, but we wish to speak with Sorceress Edea," he saluted._

"_If you want to speak with her, you'll have to go through me," Seifer said gruffly. "What the hell are you wasting my time with?"_

_Make your grievance quick and get the hell out of here if you want to live. She's not in a good mood. Well, she's never in a good mood…she's fucking nuts._

"_Yes…o-of course, sir, but we thought that it would be best if the case was made to the ambassador first…"_

"_What are you talking about? Why can't you deal with it yourself?"_

"_With no commanding officer present, sir, I was wondering which way would be best to administer the proper punishment - "_

"_What? You're a commanding officer. What in the hell is so important that you need to see her?"_

_Get the fuck out of here. Now._

"_Y-yes, sir, but we caught a soldier attempting to defect, and - "_

"_Then toss him in prison," Seifer waved his hand. "Discharge him from military service and put him in the trial queue."_

_The Galbadian soldiers all glanced at each other. Seifer glared at them all, stood up, and narrowed his eyes._

"_Did you hear what I said?"_

"_Yes, sir, of course sir, but we think it'd be best if the orders come from the ambassador…"_

"_I'm giving you the fucking order," Seifer snapped. "So do it."_

"_With all due respect, sir, you're eighteen years old," the lieutenant finally replied briskly._

_There was a long, tense pause._

_Hyne. These guys are having issues because of my age? They really do wanna die._

"_I'll only tell you this one last time," Seifer growled through clenched teeth. "Deal with the problem yourself. The Sorceress does not want to be bothered, and she sure as hell doesn't want to be bothered with trivial shit such as this - "_

"_Boy! What is that infernal noise?! What is going on?"_

_Fuck._

_The double doors swung open to reveal the Sorceress Edea. Her palm was outstretched, indicating that she opened the doors magically instead of physically, and she strode into large corridor angrily. Her eyes were darkened and the rims were slightly purple. The yellow veins spread further towards her cheekbones and around the corners of her eyes, bruising her skin into ugly purple and blue splotches. Matron was slowly sinking further into madness. Her purple lips formed into a snarl as she glared hard at the surrounding soldiers, who immediately bowed. Her gaze darted to Seifer, who also acknowledged her with a slight bow of his head._

"_How dare you disturb me!" she shouted at the soldiers. "Do you lowly ingrates not understand the meaning of silence?"_

"_Our sincerest apologies, ambassador," the lieutenant bowed lower. _

"_What do you want?" she snapped._

"_Madam Sorceress, we found this one trying to defect after the raid," the lieutenant explained as two soldiers tossed a bumbling, smaller soldier dressed in blue at Seifer's feet. His hands and feet were bound, his helmet was off, and he was kneeling down, looking up at Edea with a frightened grimace. She glared back down at him emptily and waved a hand, turning away._

"_My loyal knight, let us show them what it means to be treacherous to the sorceress."_

_Seifer set his jaw and glared coldly at the Galbadian soldier kneeling down in front of him, begging for his life._

"_No! Please! I have a wife and two children at home! Please, Edea, have mercy…"_

_The sorceress paused and blinked, the name having some sort of effect on her. The dead, grey sheen that filmed over her eyes seemed to flash with a hint of familiar dark brown, but it was gone within seconds. She glared down at the soldier._

"_Then you should pray that I will not find them," she replied flatly, "or they shall suffer the same fate as you."_

"_No! Sir Knight, Sir Seifer, I beg you…" the soldier reached out and tugged at Seifer's sleeve, but he yanked his arm away angrily._

_Don't fucking touch me. Don't make this worse than it already is. Shut up for two seconds and maybe she'll just forget about you…_

"_Kill him," Edea turned her back and waved her hand. "Make an example of this shameful soldier. If the other Galbadians decide to leave without orders, they too shall die."_

_The other soldiers blinked at Edea in shock and glanced at each other nervously, but said nothing. They'd just doomed the poor man._

_Seifer grit his teeth and stared down emptily at the weeping soldier, who was hanging his head and cowering, helpless. _

_Shit. I can't just…kill this guy…_

"_Did you not hear me, boy?" Edea snapped, turning her head impatiently. "Eliminate him. He is no longer a soldier of Galbadia, but a traitor to his president and to his ambassador."_

"_You're a witch!" the soldier suddenly cried out. "You're no ambassador! You're a terrorist! They'll realize soon enough that you're a murderer, and the whole world will come down on you, just like they did with Adel - "_

_Suddenly, with a red, lightning-fast flash and a spurt of blood, the soldier was silenced. His eyes grew wide and his mouth opened in wide surprise. With a soft choke, he slumped over and fell to the side._

_Seifer was standing over his body, Hyperion raised, with a maddening gleam in his eye. He clenched his jaw and swallowed back an angry scream, glaring at all the other soldiers to dare him to do the same to them. The blade's orange glow subsided and returned to its normal silver sheen, but it was stained with dark blood. He'd sliced the soldier's torso with a quick, controlled slash, knowing he'd die within seconds._

_He didn't want to do it. But he had no other choice. If he would have stood there and done nothing, Edea's wrath would have extended further to punish everyone in the room. If he would have stood there and done nothing, Edea would have suspected his loyalty. If he would have stood there and done nothing, not only would his cover have been blown, but the poor soldier would have died slowly and painfully at her hands. He knew she'd torture the soldier first before killing him, much like a cat plays with an injured mouse, and Seifer was doing him a favor by killing him quickly. He didn't even see it coming. _

"_Let that be a lesson to all you wretched fools," Edea looked at all of them in disgust. "The next one to disobey my command will not receive the same merciful gesture." She glared at the lieutenant in red. "If any soldier here continues to doubt the judgment of my knight, he shall feel his pain twofold."_

_The lieutenant gulped and saluted, averting his gaze._

_Seifer stepped back and lowered Hyperion. He felt numb. Dazed. Adrenaline flowed through him, but he felt sick. As if he was stuck in a terrible nightmare and there was no way of getting out._

_Edea walked up to him and put a gloved hand to his cheek, caressing it softly._

"_If I didn't know better," her sultry voice was eerily soft and foreboding, "I'd assume you were hesitant to take action."_

_Seifer turned his head away from her touch._

"_My poor, poor boy," she purred, "do not worry. It is but a necessary sacrifice to be made to keep order. There will be other sacrifices. And you, my knight, will grow used to them. After all," she held his chin and turned his head to face her, "you're still just a boy. But do not worry, my knight. You will make many more sacrifices."_

_Seifer forced the bile back down his throat and glared at her, expressionless._

"_All of you," she turned towards the rest of the soldiers, "continue making the preparations. The hour is almost at hand."_

_She turned and walked back into the sitting room, the doors swinging shut behind her with a loud boom. The soldiers all scrambled out of the hallway to bark orders at others preparing for the parade, leaving Seifer alone. He hung his head and stared at the soldier's lifeless body, lying in a pool of blood. His gaze traveled to Hyperion's blade, which was splattered with blood._

_So much blood…was this just the beginning…?_

_So much blood…_

_So…much…_

A shrill _beep, beep, beep_ woke Seifer out of a fitful sleep.

_Fucking shit! What the fuck…?_

He reached out and slapped at the alarm clock, wondering why in the hell he set it in the first place. He was trying to get back into his normal sleep routine again, and even though he hadn't fallen asleep until 0300 hours, he was still making himself wake up in the mornings so he could get more used to falling asleep at night. So far, it wasn't working out that great. Even when he did sleep, fleeting dreams and the nightmarish memories would come back. Two weeks later and he was still waking up to do it all over again.

Seifer growled and rolled onto his stomach, slamming a pillow over his head. Sleeping sucked. Being awake sucked. Everything sucked.

He groaned into the mattress.

Sooner or later, he'd have to get up.

He lifted his head up and glanced at the clock from under the pillow. 0800 hours. Five hours of quasi-sleep was a start, at least.

Tossing the sheets aside with a tired grunt, he got up and walked into the bathroom. After turning on some cold water and splashing it into his face, he glanced up at the mirror and blinked. The dark circles under his eyes were slowly beginning to fade, his eyes weren't as bloodshot, and…he lifted his chin to glance at his nostrils…nope, no blood. The only time he'd gotten a nosebleed was in the hospital, and that was nearly a month ago. Seifer furrowed his brows as his gaze darted to the long scar that sliced right between the eyes. He lifted a finger and rubbed it.

_Fucking Leonhart._

As much as he knew he deserved it, he was still pissed off about it. His intent was to brand the little sissy, but he hadn't expected to be branded back. He pushed and Squall shoved. He should've seen it coming.

_Oh well._

Sighing, he ignored his growling stomach and turned on the shower, hoping the searing hot water would be enough to wake him up and loosen the dull ache in his muscles. Hyne, it was damn near impossible to get back into any type of routine. The old days were dead. Fujin and Raijin were good company but even Seifer couldn't spend time with them for more than eight hours straight. Without classes to attend, without Chicken-wuss or Leonhart to harass, and without a SeeD field exam to fail, his life seemed rather monotonous.

That, and the shadow the sorceress's ghost still lingered and the bodies of dead men still littered the ground in his nightmares.

If anything, at least he'd starve to death. He hadn't gone to the cafeteria in almost 36 hours. He didn't have much of an appetite, even though his stomach screamed otherwise.

The nightmare made the memories of the parade flood back. He'd made his first kill that night, and had to continue on as if nothing had happened. He'd wiped the splattered blood off of his trench coat and adjusted his gloves. He had glared at the horrified soldiers standing around him and motioned to the lifeless body.

"_Get him out of here,"_ he had said. _"Next time there's a problem, come to me. Not her. Understand?"_

He lifted his head up towards the showerhead, lowered it again, shook it, spat out water, and leaned against the wall with one arm.

That horrible night had sealed everyone's fate. That parade set everything in motion. Seifer rubbed his eyes and sighed. He wished the hot water would wash away the memories as well.

_So many people had turned out for the parade, and almost none of them were protesting. Instead, to his surprise, they were actually cheering. Cheering for a murderer. Cheering for a crazy lunatic woman who had just burned their own president alive, right in front of their eyes. He quickly glanced at Edea, wondering if she was casting a spell on them. But she hadn't done anything out of the ordinary to make these people flock to her in droves…she hadn't done anything besides promise them death. It was funny how her previous speech rang true, now that Seifer saw the sheep before them. Funny, and sad._

'_Lowlifes. Shameless, filthy wretches. How you celebrate my ascension with such joy. Hailing the very one whom you have condemned for generations. Have you no shame? What happened to the evil, ruthless sorceress from your fantasies? The cold-blooded tyrant that slaughtered countless men and destroyed many nations? Where is she now? She stands before your very eyes to become your new ruler!'_

_Standing there on the float, reflecting on her speech and observing the teenie-boppers holding up large posters glittering with words of welcome, Seifer couldn't help but smile bitterly. He narrowed his eyes at them and ran a hand through his hair._

_Hyne. You're all so ignorant. You really have no clue that she wants to kill each and every one of you, do you? And Cid wants me to save you all. Dumb fucks._

_He shook his head and let out a chuckle._

_It was so sad that all he could do was laugh._

. . . . . .

'_I am Ultimecia. Time…shall compress…'_

_No. No. It won't. Not if I can help it._

'…_all existence denied…'_

_Quistis was running. Running in darkness, trying to find the familiar voice, but all she could hear was the sharp echo of the sorceress's ghost, repeating what she'd said when they fought her…_

'_Reflect on your…childhood…'_

_Blue waves…white, sandy beaches…the smell of wildflowers and tall grass in the spring breeze…Matron hanging fresh laundry to dry…there were other children…a blonde boy holding a wooden sword…_

"_Quistis."_

'_Your sensation…your words…your emotions…'_

"_You have to remember."_

_Her classroom was empty…all the students were dead…_

'_Time, it will not wait…'_

_Hello? Hello?! Help! Help me! Remember what??_

"_Come back to this place."_

_There was nothing. Nothing but darkness and harsh whispers. The voice was a source of hope, but Quistis didn't know how to find it._

_Please, help me! I can't see you! I can't hear you! Where are you?_

'_No matter how hard you hold on…it escapes you…'_

_It was loud but it was quiet. It sounded like a record skipping, the atmosphere was tearing, the whispers were cutting, but there was nothing she could hear._

_Quistis crouched and covered her ears. No!_

"_Remember what I said."_

_She was in the classroom…facing her chalkboard…someone was behind her, sitting in the back of the room…she turned around, but there was nothing there. The windows were black, blacker than outer space. Ultimecia was floating outside, and below her were the graves of all the SeeDs…_

"_Wake up, Instructor."_

Breathing hard, Quistis jerked up and clutched for Save the Queen. Instead, all she grabbed was the fabric of her pajama shorts. Glancing wildly around, she was ready to punch anything that moved, but the only thing that stared back at her was the dull green glow of her alarm clock and a nearby wall.

The familiar metallic taste returned and she wiped at her nose, glancing down.

The tears immediately followed.

Quistis raised a palm to her chest and clutched at her tank top, squeezing her eyes shut and choking out a sob. Her heart was pounding. She was trembling. Her breaths came fast and swift and she struggled to calm down.

Slowly, she put her head to her knees and heaved a few more sobs, then wiped her eyes, taking a few deep breaths.

_I forgot to take my medication. That's it. That's why I'm still getting the nosebleeds._

She grabbed a tissue from the nightstand and put it to her nose. Blinking herself awake, she reached over and turned on the small lamp next to her bed, squinting from the sudden brightness. With every deep breath she took, she felt her body calm down, but the sour emotions from the strange dream still lingered.

The dream meant nothing and it meant everything. As soon as she'd wake up, she would barely even remember the sequence. Nothing made sense. All she knew was the sense of fear and dread it always brought with it.

Clearly something had happened that her mind wanted to block out…or she'd forgotten, and the memories were despearately trying to come back in.

Still breathing hard, she forced herself to calm down and glanced at the digital clock.

0302 hours.

She shivered, suddenly aware that her pajamas were damp from a cold sweat.

Wiping her eyes, she knew she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep after this. It sounded petty and immature and downright pathetic, but she was afraid to fall asleep. She glanced down at the tissue. There was a dark red splotch from where she'd put it up to her nostril. She dabbed at her nose and sighed.

Her mental evaluations were supposed to take a week. Instead, three weeks had gone by. Three weeks. Three weeks, and no progress.

Today marked the first day of week number four, and it didn't look any better.

. . . . . .

_Quistis sighed as she examined her clipboard and chewed on a pen, slowly pacing back and forth in front of the quad near the main entrance. Three other SeeD leaders were outside, forming the candidate squads A, C, and D. She checked her watch, making sure they were on schedule. Glancing back at the clipboard, she made a note next to Squall's name about passing the GF junctioning requirements and went down the assigned list again._

_Squad B_

_**SeeD Leader:**__ Trepe, Quistis_

_**SeeD Candidates:**_

_Almasy, Seifer_

_Dincht, Zell_

_Leonhart, Squall_

_Hyne, what a mistake this is going to be, she lamented. Why in the holy hell did Cid put these three together? Seifer and Squall already had a fight this morning, and now they're supposed to operate together during a SeeD field exam?_

_She sighed and shook her head. Poor Seifer. He was doomed._

_She really wanted him to pass this time. She was really hoping he'd get a chance to prove himself, but her hopes diminished upon seeing the list. Squall Leonhart, his archenemy, and Zell Dincht, someone he loved to pick on, would distract Seifer too much from the mission, she knew. _

_Down the hallway, towards the front of the lobby, was Zell practicing a few martial arts moves and hopping around, obviously eager to get going. Quistis glanced up at him and shook her head again, pinching the bridge of her nose._

_She wasn't quite sure if Cid was doing this to Seifer on purpose, but in her opinion, it was almost unfair._

_There must be something I can do. I can't change the roster…but…there has to be something…a loophole…somewhere…_

_While it was essential for SeeD candidates to follow orders and coordinate strategy with their assigned team members, regardless of how they felt about each other, Quistis knew that this was just an accident waiting to happen. Seifer barely got along with anyone. There was no way in hell he'd cooperate with Zell and Squall. His failure of the SeeD exam was imminent. He was practically set up for it._

_There has to be a way to fix this, so it won't be a complete disaster…_

_Approaching footsteps made her look up. Squall was dressed in his navy blue uniform and he was walking towards her slowly._

"_Squall, over here," she called out and waved her pen._

_Looking bored and agitated, Squall approached Quistis and crossed his arms._

"_I'll be announcing the squad assignments for the exam. You'll be with Zell Dincht." She looked up at him and gave him a small grin. "Quite a lively fellow."_

_Squall made a face. "Lively? He's just loud."_

_They both glanced over at the hyperactive blonde practicing katas and karate moves down the aisle. Squall emitted a groan._

"_Can't I switch members?"_

_Quistis shook her head. "I'm afraid that's not possible." She looked up and raised an arm. "Over here, Zell!"_

_The minute he heard his name, Zell cracked his knuckles and executed a few more punches before backflipping his way towards them. Squall stepped back and scowled. Zell gave them both a broad grin and a thumbs-up. Quistis resisted the urge to snicker._

_Zell glanced at Squall and his grin grew wider. "Whoa! I'm with you?! You don't get along with Seifer, do you? Heard he whipped you pretty bad this morning."_

_Quistis pinched the bridge of her nose again in exasperation. Hyne, it's already starting._

_Squall narrowed his eyes. "We weren't fighting. We were training."_

_Zell shrugged. "I'll bet you he doesn't think so."_

_Squall looked away, unwilling to continue the conversation._

"_Look, Seifer's just being a pain in the ass," Zell continued airily. "All you have to do is ignore him."_

_At Zell's words, she suddenly had an idea._

_Squall scowled. "That's none of your - "_

"_None of your business," Quistis cut in unison, prompting an angry glare from Squall. She cleared her throat and stepped forward. "Excuse me, but…that Seifer you're talking about…he's your squad leader."_

_Zell balled his fists and curled a lip. "SAY WHAT?!"_

"_It can't be changed," Quistis shrugged nonchalantly. Her gaze darted up from Zell to Seifer, who was finally making his way towards the lobby, Fujin and Raijin in tow. To her chagrin, he hadn't bothered changing into a student uniform – he didn't have the standard SeeD candidate uniform to begin with, since he didn't even bother to turn in his measurements – and was instead dressed in his civilian clothes; the same grey trench coat, blue vest, and black military pants he had on earlier in class, clearly not making any attempt to look like a professional soldier during the field exam._

_Quistis sighed. At least he's on time._

_Seifer slowly walked up to them, not looking pleased with the company, but said nothing._

"_Seifer," Quistis glanced down at her clipboard then back up at him, "you're the squad leader. Good luck to you."_

_Seifer narrowed his eyes and his mouth turned up into a cocky grin. "Instructor, I hate it when people wish me luck. Save those words for a bad student that needs them, eh?"_

_Quistis's nostrils flared and she narrowed her eyes. "Okay, then." She paused and stepped up to him, looked him up and down, and put her hands on her hips. "Good luck, Seifer."_

_Raijin grinned, held a hand up to his mouth, and emitted a low "oooh." Fujin crossed her arms and shook her head. Seifer's smug expression immediately turned into a dark scowl and he swirled around to glare at Raijin._

_Raijin immediately fell silent._

"_Add Instructor Trepe to the list," Seifer snapped._

_Fujin and Raijin nodded._

_Quistis blinked at him for a moment, confused at the statement, then shook her head and rolled her eyes. "Well, then. You're all assigned to Squad B. I'll be the instructor in charge. Teamwork is of the utmost importance," she glared at Seifer from under her glasses, "remember that." She looked up and glanced at Squall and Zell. "Let's get through this exam, everyone!"_

"_Listen up!" Seifer barked, waving Hyperion in the air. "Teamwork means staying out of my way," he grinned at Quistis as he said it, then faced Squall and Zell. His grin grew wider after seeing their scowls. "It's a Squad B rule. Don't you forget it!"_

_Quistis set her jaw and sighed inwardly, hoping she'd done the right thing._

Dr. Kadowaki smiled at Quistis. "Does Seifer know that there are no squad leaders in the SeeD field exams?"

Quistis shrugged. "I don't think so, and I'm not about to break it to him, either."

The doctor chuckled.

"I knew it'd go to his head," Quistis added, "but I thought it would at least give him a sense of purpose. That way he'd at least _try_ to pass the exam."

"It worked out pretty well, I'd say," Dr. Kadowaki replied. "Seifer's now the highest ranking SeeD in Garden."

Quistis nodded and looked at the floor. _Yeah..._

"Quistis," Dr. Kadowaki adjusted her glasses, "what do you think Seifer meant when he spoke of a 'list?'"

Quistis shook her head. "I have no idea. To be honest, I didn't give it much thought. He was head of the disciplinary committee that year…I wouldn't be surprised if he was putting together some sort of 'punishment' list or something. Who knows."

"But you…?" Dr. Kadowaki lifted an eyebrow.

Quistis shrugged. "He always had it out for me."

Dr. Kadowaki gave Quistis a cryptic smile. "I doubt that, honey."

Quistis blinked.

"Anyway," Dr. Kadowaki shrugged, "I'm going to give you the go-ahead to start doing student mental evaluations, Quistis. This wraps up our session. All in all, I believe you're more than capable of doing this, and I think you should get started this week."

Quistis raised her eyebrows in surprise. "I am? You really think so?"

"I think it's way past due," Dr. Kadowaki nodded. "I apologize that your own session took so long, but since you were still experiencing the symptoms, I wanted to make sure I was doing everything correctly and thoroughly on my end." She removed her glasses and glanced at Quistis. "Have you been having any more nosebleeds since I gave you that prescription?"

Quistis shook her head and averted her gaze.

"Good," Dr. Kadowaki nodded. "Just let me know once in awhile how you've been feeling, Quistis. I wouldn't worry too much about your condition. I'm relatively convinced it has something to do with mild memory loss. I would suggest that you keep a journal, or jot down notes after your dreams, just in case you remember something. It could help you - you never know."

Quistis swallowed and nodded.

"You're free to go, cadet," Dr. Kadowaki smiled. "You can go and relax before you take on your first case. I'll give you another file or two once the months progress."

Quistis nodded. "Thank you, Dr. Kadowaki."

She rose up out of the chair and walked out of the office, heading for the cafeteria. Dr. Kadowaki sat back and sighed, looking at Quistis's case file. She opened a drawer that had a small box labeled 'Trepe.' Inside were six or seven small compact discs. She thumbed around for a select few.

What Dr. Kadowaki didn't tell Quistis was that she extended the therapy to three weeks in case she could find a potential hole in Quistis's past memories. There was nothing out of the ordinary, however, that Quistis had forgotten. The reason Seifer Almasy was constantly brought up, especially, was because Dr. Kadowaki knew there was more than meets the eye with him and Quistis. Quistis Trepe had regular interactions with the rest of her SeeD teammates and Dr. Kadowaki doubted that any memories that were missing had to do with them – if there was, surely her subconsciousness would have been triggered by their constant presence, she'd remember something, and the nosebleeds would stop.

Quistis was the only one in Garden still experiencing symptoms, and the only other student she hadn't had regular contact with – rather, avoided daily – was Seifer Almasy.

Of course, all the obvious avenues were already examined. Head trauma was unlikely and Quistis had been scanned with top equipment. Her blood tests came back fine. Her pupils were responsive. She wasn't having blackouts or vertigo during the day. The Esthar hospital reported no abnormalities after conducting their own analysis when she was found. Anything she'd ever reported was the symptoms she experienced right after having a bad nightmare.

Dreams and nightmares were a classic, telltale way of the brain's attempt to consolidate memories. Basic housekeeping of long-term and short-term memories. Dr. Kadowaki also speculated that her brain was struggling to piece back something she'd lost during time compression, something her consciousness lost and her unconsciousness was trying to gain back during sleep. The reason Quistis was experiencing nightmares rather than simple dreams was because of her horrible experience with Ultimecia; and nightmares were what everyone was experiencing these days, unfortunately.

Dr. Kadowaki had also been keeping a close eye on Zell, since he and Quistis were the only ones found sporadically spread apart in Esthar after time compression. But the only symptoms the spunky martial artist was experiencing was an insatiable appetite and a bit of paranoia.

Dr. Kadowaki was tempted to examine Seifer, but both she and Cid knew that it would be better if Quistis did it herself. More and more, the doctor was beginning to suspect that Quistis had experienced something – something between normal time and time compression – that she couldn't put back together, and it probably had to do with Seifer. She reached over and put a tiny disc into the recorder, pressed the _rewind_ button, and pushed _play_.

"_Quistis, let's go back to when you infiltrated the Lunatic Pandora."_

"_I've already explained it to you, Dr. Kadowaki - "_

"_I know, but I just want you to refresh my memory. I don't remember, and I'm too lazy to look it up in my notes. Humor an old woman, would you?"_

_There was a sigh. "The Ragnarok, an airship Squall managed to salvage in outer space, was piloted by Selphie. We blasted through the Lunatic Pandora and made a pretty messy landing."_

"_Was anyone hurt?"_

"_No."_

"_What happened after that?"_

"_We immediately ran into some resistance."_

"_From who?"_

"_Fujin and Raijin."_

"_And you fought them?"_

"_Yes, but not for long. They ran away shortly afterward, and we followed them."_

"_Where did they go?"_

"…_What?"_

"_Where did Fujin and Raijin go? Did you find them again?"_

"_Uh…"_

_There was a long pause._

"_Um…I don't know. Hm. Strange."_

"_You don't remember?"_

"_No, I suppose I don't. But I know they went further into Lunatic Pandora."_

"_Where they had Ellone, correct?"_

"_What? Ellone? No…? No, I don't think so…wait…I'm not sure…"_

"_I'm sorry, Quistis, maybe my notes are wrong - "_

Dr. Kadowaki stopped the recorder and took out the disc, replacing it with another one that was dated a few weeks back and pushed _play_.

"_Tell me about the Lunatic Pandora, Quistis."_

"_Well…there's not much to tell. It was a maze. A maze of raw ore and a few elevators…some rooms had been built inside…"_

"_How did your party manage to find Adel?"_

_There was a long pause._

"_Quistis?"_

"_I'm…I'm sorry…what was the question?"_

"_Adel. You fought Adel with Squall and the others, correct?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Where was she?"_

"_She…um…she was in her prison…she broke out of her prison and attacked Rinoa…"_

"_How did Adel manage to do that? What was Rinoa doing?"_

_There was another long pause._

"_I…I don't know. I can't remember. I'm sorry, doctor. I must be drawing a blank." _

Dr. Kadowaki pressed stop and rummaged around for another small box labeled 'Dincht.' She opened the box, took out a disc, and popped it into the recorder.

"_Zell, how did your team manage to infiltrate Lunatic Pandora?"_

"_Well, see, we had this kickass airship that Squall found, right? And Selphie – I don't know how or where she learned how to pilot an airship – but she took charge and she blasted the shit out of – oh, sorry, doctor – she blew a hole into it and we docked and proceeded to beat some major – er – we went to go find Ellone and Adel."_

"_And Adel was still restrained in a special prison, correct?"_

"_Yeah, but that stupid idiot Seifer let her out."_

"_Seifer freed Adel?"_

"_Yeah. Hard to believe he wasn't a traitor, ya know? We still don't know why he did it."_

"_And that's how Adel got control of Rinoa?"_

"_Yeah, that asshole Seifer – ahem…sorry, doctor – he snatched Rinoa and tossed her right to Adel. Adel used some sort of draining magic on Rinoa to gain energy…"_

"_Did you all fight Seifer?"_

"_Well, we fought him before he even got to Rinoa. We kicked his butt pretty good – we thought he was out of it, and we were gonna keep going, but he suddenly escaped and grabbed her before we could do anything."_

"_Your entire team fought Seifer?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_Everyone was present?"_

"_Yeah, present and taking names."_

"_Was anyone seriously injured?"_

"_Nope. Well, except for maybe Seifer. One of our GF's didn't make it, but I don't think he can die - "_

Dr. Kadowaki stopped the recorder and put the disc back into Zell's box, then reached for Squall's box. She flipped the discs forward until she found the date she wanted, then put it into the recorder, pressed _fast-forward_, then hit _play_.

"_I should have been watching her. It was my responsibility."_

"_I'm sure it wasn't your fault, Squall. There was no way you could've known."_

"_I thought for sure Seifer was unconscious. I should have been more careful."_

"_Do you suppose Seifer was faking it?"_

"…_I guess it's possible. There were a lot of things he got away with that we didn't know about. We didn't even know he was undercover."_

"_Fujin and Raijin had captured Ellone, correct?"_

"_That's correct…well…no, I guess they didn't capture her. They were only keeping her safe. Of course, at the time we didn't know…"_

"_Did Seifer hurt her?"_

"_No, he didn't. He didn't even lay a hand on her."_

"_Why do you suppose Seifer wanted Rinoa instead of Ellone?"_

"_I…don't really know. I haven't asked him."_

"_But it's true he grabbed Rinoa and gave her up to Adel, isn't it?"_

"_Yeah. That's correct."_

"_Did he hurt Rinoa?"_

"…_.not directly, no. But…she could have died. Adel could have killed her."_

Dr. Kadowaki stopped the recorder and tapped her pen against her desk.

_Hmm. Everyone remembers what happened clearly._

She put Squall's box away and dug around for….ah…Kinneas. Again, she fumbled around for the small compact disc and put it in the recorder.

"…_took a shot at him, but missed - "_

Dr. Kadowaki hit _stop_, pressed _rewind_, then hit _play_ again.

"_That Selphie, she's a firecracker. Blew a hole right into that place and managed to get us through without a hitch."_

"_What happened after that?"_

"_Well, the monkey-see-monkey-do duo ran up and tried to stop us - "_

"_Who would that be, Irvine?"_

"_Oh, right, I meant Fujin and Raijin. Well, they were causin' trouble and holdin' us up, so we fought 'em and they tucked tail pretty quick. We followed 'em to another room, where Seifer was waitin' for us."_

"_And you fought Seifer?"_

"_Yes, ma'am. They had Ellone, but they let her go, and then we fought Seifer. Beat him pretty bad."_

"_How did you all find Adel?"_

"_Well, you see, we thought Seifer was knocked out cold, but he must've gotten a second wind or somethin'. Got away before we could grab him. I took a shot at him, but missed…soon after that, we heard Rinoa screamin'…ran after him…followed him to this room where he had already pushed Rinoa towards Adel…"_

Dr. Kadowaki pressed _stop_ and sighed, replacing Irvine's files. The last SeeD member of their team – Selphie – where was her file…?

T…T…T…way in the back…here it is. Tilmitt.

Selphie had more discs than anyone else, but only because she talked so much. Dr. Kadowaki chuckled, flipping the discs back to a few weeks, finally coming upon the one she was looking for. She slid it into the recorder and hit _play_.

"_I seriously can't believe that I was just a messenger for the SeeD field exam. I mean, when you think about it, I was in no way prepared in any shape or form for this whole sorceress thing - "_

Stop. Fast forward….. Play.

"_Not that I'm waking up crying every single day or anything, but I mean, that was my home. He went and blew up my home. What's that all about? And he's supposed to be the good guy? I've got a right mind to take my nunchaku and shove it right up his – oo, sorry doctor - "_

Stop. Fast forward………………… Play.

"_Poor Quisty. She needs some serious counseling – and I'm not talking about your kind of counseling, doctor, I mean some super-duper BOY counseling. I think that'll get her out of the dumps. Quisty is always happy when she's doing something, you know – she likes to stay busy and stuff – I think we should put her on some sort of reality game show or maybe even an internet SeeD dating database - "_

Stop. Fast forward……………………is this even the right disc…? …………………Play.

"…_and he always liked to play those weird games when we were little, you know? Like, 'try to guess what's in my pants' or 'what do boys have that girls don't?' or 'hide the cucumber…' Oh! Er…I guess we still play that…I mean not literally…er I mean…no! Doctor, just….we don't…can you delete that last part? Forget I ever said that…"_

Dr. Kadowaki stopped the recorder and pinched the bridge of her nose.

Fast…………………………………………………..forward………………………………….

"_After Quisty suggested the cannons, I pressed a button and BOOM! Blew the whole thing open so we could bust through there."_

Finally.

"_So you fought against Fujin and Raijin?"_

"_Yeah, but it wasn't hard. They ran off pretty fast. We followed them and found Ellone with Seifer."_

_There was a huff._

"_He's so mean, that Seifer. I won't ever understand him."_

"_Did Seifer hurt Ellone?"_

"_Mmmmmm….no, he didn't. Fujin and Raijin let her go. We ended up fighting Seifer, though."_

"_What happened?"_

"_For a split second, I thought we were goners. He'd gotten a lot stronger than I last remembered. He wasn't all wimpy like in the Galbadian Garden. He killed Squall's GF with just one slash of his gunblade! I almost peed my pants!"_

"_But you defeated Seifer, correct?"_

"_Yeah, we did. He was knocked unconscious – well, we THOUGHT he was knocked unconscious – and we didn't want him to run around and wreak havoc again – even though he was SUPPOSED to be undercover – tch – so we decided to tie him up and take him back to the Ragnarok. But he woke up and ran off and grabbed Rinoa."_

"_Then what happened?"_

"_Well, we ran after him…but it was too late when we got there. He gave Rinoa to Adel…I don't know why. Just to be mean, I guess. Adel was hurting her…she was using magic on her…she was sapping her strength..."_

"_What happened to Seifer, Selphie?"_

"_I don't know. We were too busy fighting Adel. He ran off and didn't stay to help us, though. Undercover, huh? Yeah, right."_

Dr. Kadowaki flipped off the recorder and replaced Selphie's disc. Finally, she pulled out a third disc from Quistis's box, dated a few days back, and popped it into the recorder.

"_Do you remember time compression, Quistis?"_

"_Yes. It felt awful. It felt as if I was being born…backwards. There was a terrible pull at my belly button and I couldn't breathe…"_

"_Do you remember what triggered it?"_

"_After we destroyed Adel and freed Rinoa, Ellone connected Ultimecia's consciousness to the past…I'm not sure exactly how it worked…but then it's almost as if everything melted around us…"_

"_And you all agreed to meet up at Edea's house?"_

"_Correct. But when we got there…when we got there, it wasn't Edea's house at all. It was Ultimecia's castle."_

"_Do you remember fighting her?"_

"_Yes. Everything was dark…we were floating…she wasn't…she wasn't human…she wasn't normal. It was like staring at two different beings – one an upside-down reflection of the other…she cast all sorts of terrible, forbidden magic at us…"_

"_After you killed Ultimecia, what happened after that?"_

_There was a long pause._

"_Quistis? Are you all right?"_

"_I…can't remember."_

"_Do you remember talking to anyone?"_

"……_.No."_

"_Do you remember how Ultimecia died?"_

"_There was a bright light. No sound. I thought I was dying too."_

"_And then…?"_

"…_and then…nothing. I woke up in a hospital bed in Esthar."_

Dr. Kadowaki stopped the recorder, fast-forwarded it, and pressed _play_.

"_I want to get back to the fight with Adel for a moment, Quistis. There's something missing here. You say that Adel had captured Rinoa?"_

"_She was siphoning energy…her life…off of her."_

"_Mm-hmm. But wasn't Rinoa part of your group?"_

"_Yes."_

"_And wasn't Adel in a prison of some sort?"_

"…_Yes."_

"_Then how did Adel capture Rinoa?"_

"_I…don't know."_

"_Was Adel freed?"_

"_No, I don't think…well…yes…no, I don't know."_

"_You said Fujin and Raijin were there, correct?"_

"_Yes, but I don't think they'd do something as stupid as freeing Adel."_

"_What about Seifer? Was he with them?"_

"_Seifer…?"_

_There was a long pause._

"_I don't remember seeing him."_

"_You don't remember seeing Seifer at all?"_

"_No. Not since the fight on board Galbadia Garden."_

"_Can you tell me what happened between your fight with Fujin and Raijin and time compression, Quistis?"_

_There was another long pause._

"_No. I don't remember. I don't remember anything. That's odd…why can't I…?"_

"_Don't worry, Quistis. Perhaps it isn't anything important. You had a lot on your mind that day - "_

Dr. Kadowaki stopped the recorder and tapped her pen against her desk, sighing.

Something definitely happened in the Lunatic Pandora. The reports from Zell, Squall, Selphie, and Irvine, aside from Fujin and Raijin's testimonies, all confirmed it. Seifer had deliberately captured Rinoa and gave her to Adel. Quistis didn't remember a thing about it.

She was tempted to call Seifer in and debrief him of the events that had unfolded, but she thought against it. She almost wanted to tell Quistis herself to gauge her reaction, but thought against that as well. If her time-compression amnesia was anything similar to that of GF amnesia, there was nothing Dr. Kadowaki could say to help her trigger the memories.

The memories had to return on their own time.

It was high time Quistis began her sessions with Seifer instead, and hopefully something would come out of it – for the both of them. It was out of Dr. Kadowaki's hands. She picked up her office phone and dialed a number.

"Hello, Headmaster. Dr. Kadowaki here. Fine, fine. How are you? Glad to hear it. How is Edea? …Of course. Whenever she's ready, my door is open. Well, I'm calling to let you know about Quistis. Correct. She's all yours. If it's possible, I'd like her to start today. Yes, with Seifer. All right. All right, I appreciate it. Thank you. Goodbye."

. . . . . .

The usual gang was sitting at their usual table in the cafeteria, eating lunch. While they all exchanged idle banter, however, Quistis wasn't eating. Instead, she sipped at some tea and played with her straw, slumped over with her chin in her hand. Rinoa, who had been lethargic for the first week or so, was getting back into the rhythm of their daily life and started to sit at their table daily.

Nobody talked about Seifer.

Instead, Selphie constantly made suggestions about the upcoming awards ceremony, Irvine cracked immature sexual jokes, Zell ate, burped, and ate some more, Rinoa smiled and interacted with everyone, and Squall simply sat back to watch the show.

None of them talked about their therapy sessions, either. Quistis sighed. It had been three weeks and she didn't feel any better. Even worse, the rest of the gang seemed completely fine. Squall was probably keeping his problems to himself, but Zell, Irvine, Selphie, and Rinoa were pretty outgoing. If they were still experiencing symptoms, no doubt they'd have been complaining about it long ago. At least her nosebleeds had slowed since she'd started to take the medication. It was a week since Dr. Kadowaki gave her the prescription. They were less frequent…that is, until the nightmare she had in the middle of the night.

_That dream…that fucking dream…what did it mean? And I know I heard that voice somewhere before…why is it so familiar…? Why can't I place it?_

It was on the tip of her tongue…she could almost grasp it…she _knew_ who it was, it was obvious…but she didn't. The mystery still seemed so far away. As soon as she'd wake up, the dream slipped away from her and she barely had time to register what had even happened. She couldn't even really _remember_ the dream, and she couldn't think of what the voice was saying to her. It was maddening. She hated not being able to figure things out. To her frustration, she'd felt as if nothing had been achieved through her so-called mental evaluations, and she felt bad about lying to Dr. Kadowaki about her symptoms.

_They'll go away eventually. No big deal, right?_

"Hey, guys," Quistis spoke up, poking at the ice with a straw absentmindedly. "How have your sleep patterns been lately? I mean, has anyone still been having symptoms from time compression?"

"I've been tired a lot, but I can't tell if that's a symptom or if it's just cuz Selphie and I've been - " Irvine laughed when Selphie interrupted him with a hard jab to the ribs.

Rinoa nodded. "I've slept a lot, but that's about it. My sleeping habits are starting to go back to normal."

Squall remained silent.

"We're all still having symptoms, Quis," Zell said, trying to assemble a massive sub sandwich.

"Yeah, but…have any of you had nosebleeds?" Quistis glanced up at all of them.

"I got a nosebleed just the other day," Zell rubbed his hands together, ready to dive in. "It hurt, too."

Quistis blinked at him. "What do you mean?"

"I was in the library, looking for…uh…looking for a book," Zell finished quickly, "when I wasn't watching where I was going and I tripped over a stack of books that hadn't been shelved yet. Smacked my face right up against the bookshelf and got a damn nosebleed."

Quistis rolled her eyes. "I wasn't talking about - "

"Since when do you _read?_" Irvine chuckled at Zell.

Zell looked indignant.

"Zell, why don't you just ask her out already?" Selphie groaned. "You're embarrassing yourself."

"I don't know who you're talking about," Zell shoved the sub sandwich into his mouth, his face growing red.

"It's obvious, Romeo," Irvine grinned at him. "You've been pining over library girl for Hyne-knows-how-long. Just ask her to accompany you to the awards ceremony."

Quistis sighed and stood up. "I'll catch you guys later."

Squall glanced up at her.

"Oooh, Quisty, where are you going?" Selphie pouted. "I need help arranging party favors for the ceremony. The committee is a little short on volunteers."

"Not right now, Selphie," Quistis replied in an exasperated voice. "Listen, I've got…uh…I just have paperwork to look over. I've gotta go."

She turned and left before anyone could say anything else. Quistis was an unusually patient person, one of the most patient in their group besides laid-back Irvine, but when she was frustrated or tired, it showed. Today, it was obvious that something was on her mind.

Zell and Irvine exchanged glances.

"What was that all about?"

Squall set his jaw and sighed inwardly. _Something's wrong._

Rinoa glanced at him and noticed his concerned expression. "Maybe she's just tired," she suggested. "Or she has to deal with her first evaluation case…?"

_No. It's not that._

"You guys ignored her," Squall said gruffly.

Zell raised an eyebrow, his cheeks full. "Huh? Wo we vivn't."

"What'd we say?" Selphie asked, concerned.

"She was trying to say something when you guys interrupted her."

"Aw, Squall, I was just teasin' Zell," Irvine flicked the brim of his hat. "I didn't mean to cut her off."

"Do you want me to go talk to her?" Rinoa put her hand on Squall's arm.

Squall shook his head and stood up. "No. I'll do it."

Everyone stared at him in astonishment. Zell coughed and nearly choked on his food.

"Squall…you feelin' okay? Did Dr. Kadowaki drug you up with something?" Irvine gave him a suspicious look.

"Seriously," Zell swallowed his food and gaped at him. "Since when were you the first one to go comfort Quistis?"

Squall scowled at them. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Irvine shrugged. Zell took another large bite. Selphie and Rinoa exchanged glances. Squall crossed his arms and rolled his eyes.

"Look, she's just as much my friend as she is yours," he finally said. "I just want to make sure she's all right, that's all."

_She didn't look too good._

Ignoring their surprised stares, Squall rounded the table and started heading for the cafeteria exit.

_It's not that I never cared. I just figured she didn't need anyone watching over her. She was the one watching over all of us. But now that it's over…now that we're better…we've moved on…but what about Quistis? Something's not right. She was never shy about talking about her feelings before………well, that was before. Now she barely talks about her problems. She never once talked about her sessions with Dr. Kadowaki. I don't think I've really seen her smile since…since…when was the last time I saw Quistis genuinely smile? _

Squall sighed and gritted his teeth.

_When was the last time I actually paid attention?_

_She sort of…drifted away from us. I might've had something to do with that._

"_I'm not asking you to say anything,"_ she had said. A hurt look flashed in her steely blue eyes. _"I just want you to listen."_

"_Then go talk to a wall," _he grumbled monotonously.

Squall sighed again.

_I have to make it up to her. I could at least…listen to her. I owe her that much._

. . . . . .

"STUPID."

"Yeah, it's a waste of time, ya know?"

Seifer rolled his eyes and snorted. "You two don't even need a mental eval." He paused and glanced at Raijin. "Well, Rai – _you_ might – but at least not for the war. You guys hardly even saw battle, for Hyne's sake."

"Hey! That ain't fair, ya know? We did what we were s'posed to do, Seifer. If we could've fought, we would have, ya know?"

"You guys got more chances to kick Squall's ass than I did," Seifer grinned darkly. "Consider that enough, I guess."

_It's a good thing they stayed out of it, for the most part._

They were loitering in the hallway, wasting time. Seifer was debating whether or not to go into the cafeteria – for the past month he'd been avoiding it – but knew that he had to eat in public sooner or later. He really didn't care if people stared at him. He was avoiding it more for _their_ safety. If someone blurted out something belligerent, he was sure he'd kill them. Instead, he had run into Fujin and Raijin, and they were telling him about how pointless and ridiculous their therapy sessions were going.

"YOURS?" Fujin asked Seifer.

Seifer shrugged. "Haven't had one yet. I don't know when I'm supposed to start mine."

"Dr. Kadowaki has been dealing with us for a week now, ya know?" Raijin crossed his arms. "I wonder why she hasn't started with you yet?"

Seifer glared at the floor and didn't reply.

"INSTRUCTOR," Fujin replied.

Seifer's head snapped up. "Who told you - "

_Oh._

Fujin was motioning towards the direction of the cafeteria, letting them know that Quistis was headed their way.

Seifer blinked. It was the first time he'd seen her in two weeks, since their early morning encounter on the balcony, and even then he was too angry and tired to really pay attention to her. He was so used to fighting her that at the time, it seemed pointless to be civil. Watching her now, however – walking out of the cafeteria, rubbing her forehead, looking slightly distracted – he'd never admit it, but fuck. She was a sight for sore eyes.

She looked exactly the same and as predictable as her usual instructor posture and dress code could be. Instead of being dressed in her usual peach outfit, however, which had been mauled and torn to pieces through the war, she was wearing a standard black SeeD pencil skirt, boots, and a button-up white blouse with the sleeves rolled up. He was surprised to see that no tie accompanied it, and her collar was even unbuttoned at the top, loosening the look. She wasn't wearing her glasses, either. He wasn't surprised, however, to see that her blonde hair was up in its usual style.

_Oh well. One step at a time, Trepe._

Fujin's eye darted towards Seifer, noticed the look on his face, and tugged at Raijin's elbow.

"LEAVE."

"Huh? Why, what's up?"

Fujin kicked Raijin in the shin. "NOW."

"Ow! All right, all right! No need to get physical, ya know? See you later, Seifer!"

_Huh? What? No, don't –_

Before he could even reply, the two had rushed off down the hallway, towards the cafeteria and passing by Quistis.

_Fuckin' traitors._

Quistis was getting closer, heading towards him but hadn't yet noticed him, barely acknowledging Fujin and Raijin. He assumed his normal position – leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. He half hoped that he blended in and that he wouldn't have to talk to her, but the closer she got, the more he realized that it'd be impossible to avoid her.

Unless she blatantly ignored him. Wouldn't be the first time. If she kept staring at the floor like that, she just might get away with it.

Quistis sighed and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

_Save the world, _she thought._ Go to therapy. Be ignored by your friends. Oh, yes, everything is definitely going back to normal…_

A tall, broad-shouldered blonde leaning against the wall caught her eye and she slowed her pace to a stop. Seifer was simply standing there, arms crossed, with a neutral look on his face. He was wearing a grey muscle t-shirt, black military pants, and the usual combat boots. He looked like he was lost in thought but met her gaze when she stopped several feet from him.

Quistis swallowed, unsure whether or not she wanted to engage in conversation with him. He was still probably angry at the entire world. Oddly enough, he was the one that initiated it.

"Hey."

Quistis blinked. "Hi."

There was a long pause. Seifer set his jaw and looked at the ground again. There wasn't much to say.

Quistis took a hesitant step forward. "How are you feeling?"

Seifer shrugged. "The same. Tired as hell."

She nodded and looked down.

Seifer glanced up at her. "You?"

She looked up and met his gaze. Although his question was relatively neutral, she couldn't help but feel that he was boring a hole straight through her with that intense look in those green eyes of his.

_Judging me. Why do I always feel like he's judging me?_

Quistis licked her lips. "Um…fine, I guess."

Seifer's stare turned into the slightest sneer. _Liar._

Quistis crossed her arms, feeling vulnerable by the look he was giving her. "What are you doing out here?"

Seifer shrugged again, glancing towards the cafeteria. _Being a fucking pussy, that's what. I can't even get food on my own without being stared at._

Her eyes followed his gaze towards the cafeteria doors and darted back towards him. "Have you eaten yet?"

Seifer set his jaw.

Quistis motioned behind her. "I'll get you something, if you want - "

"Don't treat me like a stray animal, Trepe," Seifer rolled his eyes. "I'm not a fucking charity case."

Quistis narrowed her eyes and clenched her teeth. She was about to stalk off when she remembered what Squall said.

"_He needs you…I know he does. He always did…He'll try to push you away, but don't let him."_

She took a deep breath through her nostrils, forcing herself to calm down.

_Fine. Great. Back to normal, indeed. If this is how Seifer wants it, then this is how he is going to get it._

"Do you want to eat or not, Almasy?"

Seifer glared at her.

Quistis gave him a mean grin and tipped her chin up. "I'll be right back."

Before he could reply, she strode off towards the cafeteria with an extra angry spring in her step. He raised an eyebrow. He couldn't help but feel…surprised, really. Well, not surprised. If Quistis saw something broken, she'd always be the first in line to fix it. Go figure. It was just like at the orphanage, when he got cuts and bruises and Quistis would bandage them up, no matter how much he tried to run from her. He'd claimed he'd rather get gangrene and let limbs fall off before he'd let her touch him, but she always won in the end. She was always there to patch him up.

Even so, he was tired of asking Fujin and Raijin to fetch food for him. By the time Rai would return with a to-go box, the food would get cold because of his dallying or it'd be half-eaten. Hyne, he swore that kid was attention deficit. Fujin didn't really like being a gopher, and Seifer didn't blame her, so eventually he just quit asking.

But he wasn't ready to go into cafeteria full of students that didn't know about his SeeD status or his undercover mission. If he heard the words 'lapdog' or 'traitor' one more time, someone's head would get sliced off.

He found himself somewhat grateful that Quistis offered to get him food, although he knew he'd never live it down later. Although it was quite awkward, given their last encounter. What in the hell would he say when she came back…?

"Scared of the cafeteria, Almasy?"

Xu's voice behind him nearly made him jump out of his skin. He glanced over his shoulder and narrowed his eyes at her.

"Hyne. Fucking spook."

Xu raised an eyebrow and smiled. "That's one of the names they call me, yeah."

"Lemme guess," Seifer gave her a nasty smirk, "the other one you constantly hear is 'Oh, the humanity! What is it?! It's grotesque! Someone please help us!'"

Xu rolled her eyes. "Whatever. What are you doing out here?"

Seifer sighed. "Waiting for my grub."

Xu crossed her arms and stood beside him, arching her brow. "You had someone go fetch your food for you? You really are fucking pathetic."

"If I go in there, I really _will_ be tried for the murder of Garden students," Seifer replied darkly. "I just don't want to deal with it right now."

"Wow. Jumpy around your own kind, eh? Squall must've kicked your ass _over_ and _over_ and _over_ - "

"Oh, fuck off, Xu," Seifer sighed in a bored tone. "Don't you have some carpet to munch or something?"

"Cid wants to see you this afternoon," she replied. "Along with Quistis. Have you seen her?"

Seifer cocked his head towards the cafeteria. "She's in there. She'll be back in a second."

Xu's jaw dropped. "Oh, no. You made _Quistis_ go and get your food??"

"No, fucktard, I didn't _make_ her. She offered."

Xu snorted. "Isn't that cute. A helpless little lapdog begs for scraps and she's the first to help out. You owe her big, Almasy."

Seifer stiffened at the word 'lapdog.' He immediately turned and jabbed a finger at her. "Don't fucking call me that."

"Quistis told me how you were a _real_ gentleman to her a few weeks ago," Xu continued, ignoring him. "Would it fucking kill you to be nice to her? I mean, you only owe her your entire life."

Seifer set his jaw and looked up towards the ceiling. "Fuck, Xu, go change your tampon and leave me alone."

. . .

Squall was on his way out of the cafeteria when he was surprised to see Quistis walk back in. Instead of heading to their usual table, however, she headed straight for the lunch line. He watched after her with a quirked brow…and blinked in surprise when she continued to fill two large paper bags to the brim with fries, wraps, sub sandwiches, salad bowls, small baggies of ketchup and salad dressing, cookies, and…a banana.

_Hrm. What in the…?_

After swiping her ID card and hefting the two large bags in each arm, she walked back towards the entrance, oblivious to Squall's surprised stare, and headed out towards the quad. He slowly walked towards the double doors leading out of the cafeteria and watched after her. Further down, across from the quad, he could make out two distinct figures waiting near the dormitory wing.

Xu. And…Seifer?

Squall crossed his arms and watched as Quistis headed straight towards them. When he saw Quistis hand a bag to Seifer, he sighed and hid a tiny smile of relief, turning to head back to the table.

_Maybe she'll be ok after all…_

. . .

Upon seeing her come out of the cafeteria, Xu smiled at Quistis and waved. "Hey, Quistis."

Quistis smiled at Xu and nodded. "Hi, Xu. How are you? Where have you been lately?"

"Busy. Headmaster Cid has his hands full, and I'm just helping out."

"Sucking dick," Seifer mumbled under his breath.

Xu responded by punching his arm.

After giving Xu an angry glare, Seifer glanced at Quistis, who was carrying two large paper bags full of food. "What're they serving today?"

Quistis handed him a bag. "Sub sandwiches, wraps, and a few side items. I wasn't sure what you wanted, so I put a bit of everything in two bags."

_Good. I'm fucking starving._

"I can't believe you went out of your way to accommodate this asshole," Xu shook her head.

Quistis shrugged. "It's no big deal - "

Xu narrowed her eyes at Seifer. "Aren't you going to thank her, you ungrateful piece of shit?"

"Xu, it's okay," Quistis shook her head as Seifer started to rummage around in the bag.

"No, it's not okay," Xu snapped. "He can get his own damn food and instead you're doing it? What the hell is _that_ all about? And he doesn't even fucking thank you? Look at him! Seifer, at least _act _like you're obliged for what Quistis did."

Seifer pulled out a soggy french-fry, waved it in front of Xu, and whistled. "See it? See it? Now, go get it!" He tossed it across the hallway and gave Xu a fake smile.

Xu glared at him.

Seifer chuckled. "No? What's the matter, Xu? You don't like French-fries? I'll bet if that was a dildo, you'd be _sprinting_ after it."

"Seifer…" Quistis rolled her eyes.

"Look! Look!" Seifer pulled out another French-fry, feigning excited discovery. Holding the French-fry up, he said, "This is the dude Xu fucked last night, and _this_," he motioned to the corridor, "is Xu's vagina." He tossed the French-fry down the hallway. It landed with a soft plop. Seifer glanced at Xu, grinning evilly. "It wasn't very satisfying, was it?"

Xu narrowed her eyes and set her jaw. She looked murderous. "Oh, right, Almasy. Because you've been getting _plenty_ of pussy yourself, haven't you?"

Quistis closed her eyes in exasperation. "Xu, please…"

"What kind of whores did you manage to pick up on your little vacation with the sorceress?" Xu continued, curling a lip at Seifer. "Did they throw themselves at your feet since you were a _knight_, or did you have to _force_ them into having sex with you in order to exercise your authority?"

Seifer clenched his teeth and his green eyes flashed with anger. She'd hit a nerve.

Quistis sighed and shook her head, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Look, I'm tired, so I'll see you both later." She started heading down the dormitory wing. "I've got some paperwork to fill out."

Xu and Seifer watched after Quistis, somewhat surprised she simply walked away. Quistis wasn't one to ignore two colleagues fighting, but today it seemed as if she didn't want to deal with it. Odd. Normally she was the first one to jump in as peacemaker.

"You're just going to leave me here with the abominable yeast infection?" Seifer called after her, scowling.

Xu narrowed her eyes at him.

Quistis ignored the comment, heading down the hallway towards the dormitory wing. Seifer shrugged and was about to turn back towards the quad, hoping he could eat somewhere in peace…then he noticed something. Quistis had the other bag of food.

_Shit._

"Fuck," Xu swore as she realized she forgot to tell Quistis her message. "Quistis!"

But it was too late. Quistis had already turned a corner, out of earshot. Startling him again, Xu smacked Seifer's arm and snapped, "Dammit, Seifer, why did you have to distract me?"

"Quit _manhandling_ me!" Seifer snarled. "I'm gonna catch rabies!"

"I don't have time to go and track her down," Xu rubbed her forehead. "I've got too much shit to do."

"What, like going to your room to tuck your dick in between your legs and dance around in front of the mirror all day?" Seifer grinned evilly. "It puts the lotion on its skins."

"_Fuck you_, Almasy."

Seifer pretended to choke. "Ugh…the thought of that…I just threw up a little in my mouth…"

Xu ignored the statement and crossed her arms. "Look, could you just go and tell Quistis that Cid wants to see her?"

Seifer curled a lip. "What the fuck for?"

"He wants to talk to both of you about your scheduled mental evaluations."

Seifer closed his eyes and sighed. Crap. He was hoping that Cid would forget and he'd be able to avoid any sessions with Quistis. Apparently not.

"She's got the other bag of food," Xu pointed out.

Seifer scowled. "Yeah, I know."

There was a slight pause.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Xu crossed her arms and grinned at him. "Be a good boy and go chase her down!"

He nearly winced upon hearing the word 'boy.' Seifer pursed his lips and took in a deep breath through his nostrils. "Xu, I fucking swear…"

"Hurry up," Xu examined her nails. "She's getting away. And be nice to her, will you? She's put up with enough of your shit to last a lifetime."

"Whatever," Seifer grumbled and stalked down the hallway towards the dormitories.

"Make sure you tell her about Cid!" Xu called after him. "You guys have to meet with him this afternoon! Don't forget!"

"Shove it up your ass, Xu," Seifer called back.

. . . . . .

Quistis entered her room and pressed the button, closing the electronic door. Sighing, she leaned back against the door and crossed her arms. In truth, she didn't have any paperwork to fill out. She didn't have any files to rifle through. She just wanted to be alone. Being alone felt better than sitting in a large circle with all her friends and still being alone, at least. Besides, she didn't feel like chipper conversation. She didn't feel like talking about her mental evaluations, her medication, what kind of dog food was available in Balamb for Angelo, about Zell's spontaneous muscle spasms in the library, about the size of Irvine's gun, or about the dreaded awards ceremony Selphie was helping put together.

She slowly walked into her sitting room and slumped into an armchair, placing her chin in her hand. Her thoughts traveled to Dr. Kadowaki's sessions…her recurring dreams…her headaches…her occasional nosebleeds…

The therapy was supposed to have lasted five days. Instead, it went on for three weeks.

Nobody was having symptoms from time compression anymore except for her. When she'd tried to bring it up and ask for help, she was ignored.

Quistis sighed. _At least I can sit here in the privacy of my own room to think -_

_Knock, knock._

Or not.

Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, she walked up to the door and glanced at the monitor near the lock pad. Each dormitory had a small camera wired into the door, like a peephole, that displayed who was on the other side on a small monitor next to the buttons used to lock the door, set an alarm, or open it. She was taken aback when she saw the familiar blonde hair, angry green eyes, and telltale scar.

"Seifer?" she blurted her surprise aloud.

"Yeah. Let me in," came the muffled growl on the other side.

Quistis pressed a button and the mechanical door slid open. Seifer was leaning on one shoulder against the doorframe, looking annoyed.

"What do you want?"

Seifer held up the paper bag. "You ran off with my food."

Quistis crossed her arms. "Technically, it's not your food. It's mine. I used my ID card to get you that."

Seifer rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Are you gonna let me in, or what?"

Quistis blinked. Seifer…? In her room…?

Seifer scoffed at her slight blush. "You don't have a stray pair of panties on the floor, do you? Or a bra hanging on the doorknob?"

Quistis narrowed her eyes. "I'll get the food, Seifer. Just wait here."

She turned to head back into the small sitting room, but Seifer followed her.

"I'll just eat in here."

"I don't believe I gave you permission - "

"Cid wants to see both of us this afternoon," Seifer interrupted her in a bored tone. "I might as well eat here then we can both head up and get it over with."

Quistis turned around and faced him. "Cid wants to see us?"

"Did I stutter?"

"What does he need to see us for?"

Seifer shrugged, deciding not to bring up the mental evals. He set the bag down on her small coffee table in the middle of the room and plopped down on a soft couch, pulling out a wrap and a box of fries from the box. As he started to unwrap the contents, he looked around. Small framed paintings and pictures of her friends were mounted on the walls. The coffee table had a small vase of Balamb daisies placed in the center. A small stack of _Weapons Monthly_ and _Teaching Today_ magazines were sitting on a lower glass rack below the coffee table. Two throw pillows and a thin sham was placed on the couch. Across the room was a small armchair, and along the wall was a small TV stand with a little TV monitor.

"Nice pad, Trepe."

Quistis rolled her eyes and pressed a button to close the front door. "Glad you like it. Please, make yourself at home."

Seifer cracked his knuckles and picked up the wrap. "Don't mind if I do."

Quistis stared at him and narrowed her eyes. The _gall_ of this guy…still, his behavior was ten times better than it was two weeks ago.

"You seem to be in better spirits," Quistis observed.

Seifer shrugged and didn't answer, his mouth full of food. He didn't care that he was sitting in Trepe's room, completely at her mercy. He was fucking famished.

_I guess the way to a guy's heart really is his stomach,_ Quistis mused.

After gulping down the first bite, Seifer cleared his throat. "Got anything to drink?"

Rolling her eyes, Quistis strode over to her mini-fridge and pulled out a bottle of water. "Why don't you go eat in your own room?" She put the bottle on the coffee table and immediately began picking up after Seifer, removing an empty wrapper and unloading the rest of the food from the bag so she could start putting trash in it.

Seifer swallowed and raised an eyebrow. "Fuck. Don't welcome me back too quickly, Trepe. I might think you're grateful for all that I did."

Quistis shook her head and bit her lip, reminding herself to exercise patience with him. "That's not what I meant. I could have tidied up a bit, at least. I wasn't expecting you…"

Seifer watched her as if she'd gone insane. "Right, yeah. Your feng shui is completely off. Are you fucking serious, Instructor? Hyne. Talk about obsessive-compulsive."

Quistis sighed. "Whatever. Don't call me instructor."

Seifer glanced at her and the corner of his mouth turned up into a slight grin, but he remained silent, finishing off the wrap and unwrapping a sub sandwich. "You really didn't have any paperwork to finish, did you?"

Quistis rubbed her head and shrugged. "Yes. No. Not really. Why?"

"You just seemed a little distracted."

"So?"

"So, what's your problem?"

"What do you care?"

Seifer shrugged and took a large bite of his sandwich. After chewing, he replied, "Just thought that you and Xu are B-F-F. Figured you'd jump in to shut us up. You live for that shit."

"Xu and I aren't 'B-F-F,' as you put it. And she can handle herself. Believe it or not, Seifer, I really wasn't interested in your vulgar conversation."

"Did the dildo talk scare you off, Trepe?" Seifer gave her a malicious grin.

"Seriously, was that crap in the hallway _really_ necessary?" Quistis sighed. "Do you have to act like a five-year-old every time you run into Xu? Or do you have to insult everyone at every point and turn?"

"Bitch, bitch, _bitch_. It never ends."

Quistis glared at him.

"Oh, come on," Seifer rolled his eyes. "I had to get it out of my system. Xu never fails to entertain me with that shit. It felt good to give her a foul-mouthed verbal exchange."

"Seifer, _everything_ with you is a foul-mouthed verbal exchange."

Seifer shrugged and tossed a french-fry into his mouth.

Quistis remained standing, arms crossed, watching Seifer doubtfully. His behavior was unnerving. Two weeks ago, he looked vengeful and on edge. Now he was eating in her room as if nothing had ever happened. She didn't know whether to feel relieved or disturbed.

Seifer took a large gulp of water and glanced at her. "What?"

Quistis shook her head. "Nothing. I just…"

_I thought you hated me, and now you're sitting on my couch. It's too weird. I guess I'd better get used to it pretty quick, seeing as how I'm supposed to…evaluate you…ugh, Hyne._

"You must be hungry," she finished off quickly.

Seifer narrowed his eyes at her. "You can sit down, Trepe. I'm not going to attack you or anything." He curled his lip. "I'm a good guy, remember?"

"Two weeks ago you didn't want to have anything do to with me," Quistis blurted out bitterly. "Now you're in my room getting mustard on my cushions."

Seifer glanced down. _Oops._ There was a small blob of yellow between his legs, on the edge of the couch cushon. Grinning, he scooped it up with a thumb and licked it off. "Yeah, and your point?"

"It's just…it's odd, that's all." _It's everything you're not. It's domesticated._

Seifer immediately scowled. "So, I have to have a motive to be here, is that it?"

Quistis sighed and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "No - "

"I'll _leave_, if that's what you want. Just come out and say it."

"No!" Quistis snapped in an exasperated voice. "Never mind. You're reading into it too much."

"Hmph. Doesn't take much to see that I make you uncomfortable," Seifer glared at her.

"Forget it," she rolled her eyes and slumped into the armchair across the table, leaning over and pulling a French-fry from his box. "Just stay."

There was an uncomfortable silence as Seifer continued to eat angrily and Quistis nibbled on a few fries, even though they had gone cold. Seifer finished off the sub sandwich, crumpled the wrapper, and nearly threw it onto the floor but stopped himself. Instead, he tossed it into the trash bag Quistis had created and went on to the second bag, digging around for another wrap.

Quistis watched him out of the corner of her eye, surprised he didn't toss the trash right onto the floor in front of her. It just seemed like something Seifer would do. Being courteous wasn't exactly his forte, so when he conscienceously put the trash away, it made her even more suspicious. Is he actually trying to be nice…?

After digging into the bag, Seifer pulled out…

…a banana?

"Worried I'm not getting enough potassium, Trepe?"

Quistis blinked. Her blank stare eventually turned up into a tiny smirk and she leaned forward, taking the banana. "No. That's for me. I forgot I put it in there."

He handed her the banana and pulled out another wrap. As he pulled off the paper, he stole a glance at her and watched her unpeel the banana with poise and careful delicacy as if she was ready to perform major surgery. He almost chuckled. There were some things about Trepe he'd never understand. She could kill on a whim and she unpeels bananas as if she were deactivating bombs.

However, he couldn't help himself. "Do you use those for practice, Trepe? You could probably grip it a little tighter."

Not surprised at his comment, Quistis rolled her eyes and ignored him as she continued to unpeel the banana. He continued to watch her, however, so she finally glared back at him with narrowed eyes and took a large, slow, deliberate bite.

Seifer blinked, not expecting her reaction. He immediately turned his attention towards his wrap and took a bite, trying not to think of the sudden dirty thoughts roaming around in his head.

_Damn. That was hot._

_Gross. That was Trepe._

_If she could do that with a banana…_

_No, I don't want to know…_

…_But what exactly does a sexually repressed instructor like Quistis Trepe do in her spare time?_

_Hyne. Xu's right. When the fuck was the last time I got laid?_

He took a long swig of water and stared at the messy wrap, picking off a piece of dangling lettuce and contemplated eating the unripened slice of green tomato wedged between the slices of meat and cheese. And not looking at Quistis eating the banana. Or her legs. Or not thinking about the fact that he caught a glimpse of cleavage when she leaned forward to take the banana…

Trying not to think about something made him think about it, of course.

He shifted in his seat and stared at the tomato.

_Cold showers. Cold showers. Xu's dick. Squall shoving his gunblade at me. Zell punching me in the face. Fuckers._

_Just stay._ He thought he could detect a hint of urgency in her voice. He was glad she said it, although he'd never admit it.

Truth be told, he was sick of staring at the walls of his bleak and desolate room. He'd been in there long enough, and it started to feel like a bare, grey cage. Quistis's presence was surprisingly soothing, and he missed the crude banter and teasing he'd given her a year ago. Talking with her made him feel…normal. On top of that, her room smelled good, it looked good, it was comfortable, and…it was cozy. Come to think of it, it was _really_ cozy. Hyne, he was tired. And this couch was so…soft.

"So, what does Cid want to see us for?" Quistis asked, interrupting his thoughts.

Seifer took a bite of his wrap and shrugged. "Take a wild guess."

Quistis sighed and sat back, nodding. "I thought so."

"Did you volunteer for this, instructor, or did Cid make you do it?"

Quistis set her jaw. "Don't call me that, Seifer."

"Force of habit."

"Could you at least make an effort?"

"No."

"My _name_ will do, you know - "

"Answer the question."

Quistis shook her head and sighed. "A little bit of both."

Seifer took a bite and raised an eyebrow at her. "How?"

"Dr. Kadowaki needed an extra hand, so I offered to help. I wanted to do something around here. Without teaching, I would have gone stir crazy."

Seifer rolled his tongue around his mouth, picking out pieces of food between his teeth. "Hrm. Nobody to boss around. Imagine that."

"I volunteered but I wasn't able to pick my assignments," Quistis continued, ignoring the statement. "So I suppose that's why it's both mine and Cid's decision."

"So Cid was the one who tossed my big, fat, case file into your lap," Seifer's lips turned up into a bitter smirk.

Quistis looked away. "More or less," she replied quietly.

"Yeah, nobody wants the problem child," Seifer narrowed his eyes, keeping his angry grin. "They're afraid he'll describe visions of dead people or go on a killing spree. Thing is, I've already done all that. Guess I'm what you'd call a hopeless case, eh, Trepe?"

Quistis glanced at him. His words seemed to affect her, and for the first time, she regretted everything they'd ever done to him. They really did owe him their lives.

"No," she replied quietly, her voice firm. "You're not. You never were."

He locked eyes with her and held her gaze. This time, her steely blue eyes didn't break from his furrowed stare, silently challenging him to prove her wrong.

Finally, Seifer shrugged and turned his attention towards the last box of fries. "I guess we'll see."

Quistis crossed her arms and sighed.

"Better you than Dr. Kadowaki, I guess," he added nonchalantly, dipping the fries into some ketchup. "Lesser of the two evils, anyway."

Quistis narrowed her eyes. "Is that supposed to be a compliment?"

Seifer shrugged. "That woman has access to a bunch of potent drugs. At least I'm not worried about _you_ slipping poison into my drink; if you wanted to kill me, you'd at least have the decency not to do it behind my back."

"Don't be ridiculous. Dr. Kadowaki would never do such a thing."

"She might, since I threatened to kill her after she tried to bandage my forehead last year."

Quistis sighed and shook her head, thinking back on her trip to the infirmary after she heard that Squall and Seifer got into a major fight during their gunblade training. Seifer had crossed the line, no surprise, and drew blood. Squall did the same. When she had arrived, however, only Squall was there waiting for her. Seifer had already left, declining treatment and refusing to be escorted back by Quistis.

"Anyway, I gave her plenty of business," Seifer put his hands behind his head and grinned maliciously at Quistis. "I heard a bunch of students got pretty banged up during the flying Garden fiasco. Dr. Kadowaki must've had her hands full."

Quistis glared at him. "That's not funny."

"It's true."

She sighed in defeat. "Are you done?"

"Oh, there's plenty more where that came from - "

"I meant with your _food_," Quistis rolled her eyes. "I'm going to throw the trash away."

Seifer nodded and downed the rest of the water from the bottle, leaning back and sighing. "Ugh. Fuck. That shitty-ass cafeteria food really hit the spot."

Quistis glanced up at him as she bent over to pick up the remaining crumpled wrappers. "Seifer, when was the last time you ate?"

He shrugged.

She stood up and sighed. "I know you're uncomfortable about going into the cafeteria, but - "

"I'll kill the next fucking idiot who even thinks about calling me…" Seifer trailed off, not even wanting to repeat the slur himself.

"I was just going to say that you can sit at our table," Quistis finished. "Once the rest of the student body sees that, they'll leave you alone. We know the truth. We're already trying to spread the word."

Seifer glared at Quistis, insulted. Sit with that pretty-boy gunslinger, the hyperactive sugar fairy, Chicken-wuss, the Pink Princess, and Leonhart?

Yeah fucking right.

"Pass," he growled. The day he needed their company would be the day he'd do _himself_ a favor and slit his own throat. "I don't need to use the _heroes_ as a shield from Garden students," Seifer scowled darkly, crossing his arms. "I got along _fine_ way the fuck before any of you stepped in to help."

Quistis swallowed, realizing she'd said the wrong thing. The mood was already shifting from relatively tense to incredibly volatile. She should've known. Seifer never was the sort of person to sit and pleasantly converse with others during meal times, let alone at all, and he'd never consider sitting at the same table with them. He wouldn't do it last year, and he especially wouldn't do it now. Even though he was on the same side they were, the war had changed everything. It was them versus Seifer; it always was and it always will be. He would never ask for their help. Besides, as long as Squall was involved, there'd be rivalry no matter what.

"I'm sorry, Seifer," Quistis crossed her arms and looked away. "I didn't mean it like that - "

"I don't need your pity," he shot back. "And I sure as hell don't need it from your sunshine squad."

"I wasn't trying to - "

"I'll bet Cid would _splooge_ over that thought," Seifer snorted angrily. "The valiant children – no – the valiant _heroes_ welcoming back the prodigal SeeD. What a pretty-fucking-perfect picture. How cute. Makes me want to fucking kill myself."

"Seifer, don't. We're not calling ourselves heroes," Quistis sighed. "You're more of a hero than all of us. We were only able to defeat Ultimecia because of what you did."

"Gee, thanks. I'm already feeling warm and fuzzy inside."

"I'm being serious."

"Do you honestly think I give a shit about being labeled a hero, Trepe?" Seifer glared up at her.

"Would you rather be called 'lapdog?'" Quistis challenged angrily. Immediately after the words tumbled out of her mouth, however, she wished she'd never uttered them.

She saw the familiar flash of rage in his eyes as his jaw muscles flexed in anger. His expression was accompanied by something else…

Hurt feelings?

She'd stepped over the line. She swallowed. The conversation had just gone from bad to worse. They both stared at each other for a tense moment before Quistis backed down and sighed.

"I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry."

Seifer looked away.

"Seifer…I really do mean it when I say this…we couldn't have done it without you," she said quietly. "We really couldn't have. So…thank you. Thank you for all you've done. You saved our lives."

Seifer rolled his eyes and sat back. "Hyne. Don't fucking thank me."

She blinked at him.

"It won't change anything," he grumbled.

"But I thought you should know that I really mean - "

"You don't get it, do you?" he shook his head and interrupted her. "It doesn't matter, Trepe. No amount of thanks or appreciation will ever take back what I did. No matter how many empty 'thank you's' or 'congratulations' or 'you're a hero, son' I get, it will never change the past. It won't heal anything. And it most definitely won't help me shape my fucking future."

Quistis remained silent.

Seifer sighed. "Have you ever realized that even though people may come up and shake your hand, or give you a hug, or thank you over and over, they really only do that to make themselves feel better? People only do that shit because they feel obligated, not because they feel indebted to you." He glanced at her. "You thought I was a traitor. Now you know I wasn't. So you feel like it's your duty to thank me."

"Seifer - "

"I still did some bad shit, Trepe. Traitor or no. I don't think you really even know what you're saying to me when you say 'thank you.' People say it out of habit, not out of their good conscience."

Quistis remained silent.

"Half of the world doesn't even know there _was_ a war. We're just SeeDs to them, Trepe. Teenage mercenaries that happened to have the manpower and willpower to stop a sorceress. No big deal, right?"

Quistis didn't answer.

"So I don't give a _shit_ who calls me a hero, and I certainly don't give a shit about your _thank you's_," Seifer narrowed his eyes. "Because after its all said and done, I'm not out for the recognition. I don't want to have all that fame. I just want to live a normal fucking life. And that will never happen." He stood up and glared at her angrily.

There was a long pause.

"You've changed, Seifer," Quistis murmured quietly. "I remember a year ago you wanted all that…fame and glory…you wanted to be the victor in battle…you always wanted recognition. What happened?" She looked up at him sadly.

Seifer crossed his arms and set his jaw. He looked down at her.

_I had to fight you. I had to fight you, and after that, I never wanted to fight again._

"We went to war, Trepe."

Quistis licked her lips and looked down.

Seifer ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "Let's go to Cid's office and get this shit overwith."

She slowly stood up and straightened her blouse, grabbed her glasses from a side table, and slipped them on.

Seifer walked to the door and Quistis wordlessly followed him. The heavy mood still weighed down on them and she didn't quite know what else to say to him. Before he pressed the button to open the door, he stopped.

"Oh, and Trepe?"

Quistis blinked.

"Don't ever fucking call me 'lapdog' again."

* * *

**Author's Note:** I changed the rating to 'M' because I believe I've more than met the quota of F-bombs and other dirty talk, and I don't encourage those under the ages of 14-15 to really be speaking like that.

Also, there's a slight movie reference in there - not my work - from _The Silence of the Lambs_.


	9. Galbadia

**_Galbadia_**

_It was dark in the streets of Deling City. A curfew was in effect. Only a few paper cups and newspaper pages flitted about the streets in the light fall breeze, and a Galbadian soldier was sitting on a bench alone, resting from his patrols and mulling over the events that had just seemed to spiral out of control in twenty-four hours time._

_Martial law had been declared hours after the parade, due to civilian instability and widespread panic._

_There was an assassination attempt on the Sorceress Edea, but she managed to evade it. The ones responsible were rumored to be six teenagers that were part of a resistance faction. Considering the circumstances, it wasn't surprising. There were teenie-bopping resistance factions all over Timber that hated the nation of Galbadia, so it only made sense they'd try to take out their new ambassador._

_However, after seeing their own president die before their eyes at the hands of this so-called ambassador appointed to bring peace to the world, the Galbadian soldiers were in for quite a shock. After the failed assassination attempt, the six teenagers were immediately transferred to the desert prison to be made "examples" of._

_Everyone in Galbadia knew that being sent to the desert prison was a one-way ticket. Its defenses were flawless and state-of-the art, and on top of that, it was in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by miles of sand and monsters. Even if someone did manage to escape, they'd die of heat stroke, dehydration, or from being mauled by something gruesome._

_Some of the soldiers didn't agree with the orders of sending six young kids to their death, especially without a trial, but they said nothing._

_Edea, however, was furious. She'd claimed that SeeDs were out to kill her and she wanted to eliminate them all, no questions asked. Galbadia. Balamb. Trabia. No Garden was exempt from her rage. General Caraway had no say in the matter and the Galbadian soldiers were forced to listen to Edea's Knight, Seifer Almasy. There was no word from the Galbadian Senate; most of the politicians had gone into hiding or had been killed, most likely. Therefore, the soldiers had no choice but to follow the orders of their new eighteen-year-old commander. On Edea's orders, a quarter of the brigade was sent to the missile silos in order to arm the missiles and set the coordinates for Balamb and Trabia, and then the rest of the military would be sent in to remove Headmaster Martine from his position and wipe out all the remaining Galbadian SeeDs, staging the Galbadian Garden as a base. From there, they were to go from town to town, village by village, in search of a young woman by the name of 'Ellone.'_

_The Galbadian soldier removed his helmet and rubbed his face. Hyne, nothing made fucking sense anymore._

_All in the name of peace, huh? My ass._

_He had a young wife to think about. He'd just made staff sergeant a month ago, and they were both looking forward to a peaceful life, free of conflict. The sudden orders to Dollet changed things rapidly, though. It seemed as if everything that was supposed to happen had taken a turn for the worse instead. Instead of working for peace, now they were tools of war. Even worse, there was no escape. There was no resigning in the military, and there was no defying Edea._

_Hyne. He didn't need this shit. He wasn't exactly a humanitarian, but he wasn't a butcher, either._

_"Working late?"_

_A voice behind him made him jump. He turned to see one of his comrades, a lieutenant dressed in red, stroll up to the bench._

_"Lieutenant…shit, you scared me."_

_"Mind if I sit?"_

_"It's a free country."_

_The lieutenant snorted. "Yeah. At least, it was."_

_They sat in silence for awhile until the lieutenant turned to him without removing his helmet. "Any word on whether or not our new 'commander' is back yet?"_

_"Nah. I haven't heard anything. He was out there all last night and all day today. Dunno when he's supposed to get back to the city." He glanced at the lieutenant. "Did you hear the latest batch of orders?"_

_"No…from Edea?"_

_"Yeah." The sergeant looked around nervously and ran a hand through his hair, sighing. He pulled out a box of cigarettes and lit one with a shaky hand. "I figured you'd have found out already."_

_"Yeah, well, I've been a little busy."_

_There was a pause as the sergeant took in a drag._

_The Galbadian lieutenant watched him closely through the visor of his helmet. "So, what? What's the matter?"_

_The staff sergeant exhaled. "It's not good. Something's not right."_

_The lieutenant snorted. "Tell me something I don't know."_

_"No, I mean…these new orders…"_

_"What? Out with it, man!"_

_"We're supposed to…we're supposed to take over the Galbadian Garden."_

_"What?"_

_The staff sergeant didn't reply, taking in another long drag._

_"Shit…" the lieutenant turned his head. "Are you sure?"_

_"Pretty sure."_

_The lieutenant glanced at him, sensing something in his voice. "There's something else, isn't there?"_

_The sergeant averted his gaze and exhaled._

_"Oh, Hyne," the lieutenant shook his head. "Don't tell me that Edea wants to…?"_

_The other soldier ran a hand through his hair. "She wants to…she wants to kill them! She wants to kill everyone in Garden! The students, the faculty…everyone!"_

_"What? No! But…she can't! Hyne. My brother's got kids going to school there. Hell, half the damn army sends their relatives there for military training. And we're supposed to…we're supposed to…?"_

_There was a long, shocked pause._

_"Hyne…we can't just…"_

_"I know…"_

_"They're our own, man!"_

_"I know."_

_"They're just kids!"_

_"I know!"_

_"Oh, Hyne…"_

_There was a long pause._

_"What do we do?"_

_"What can we do? We can't defect, or we'll die."_

_"Are you seriously considering going in there to wipe out kids??"_

_"No! No…it's just…I don't know! We're fucked either way!"_

_A low voice behind them suddenly interrupted their conversation._

_"What if I told you that it doesn't have to happen?"_

_The soldiers turned around. The sergeant with the cigarette immediately began coughing and flicked it away, struggling to put his helmet back on._

_"Sir Seifer!"_

_"Oh, Hyne, please, don't tell Edea! We didn't mean to conspire against -"_

_"Shut up," Seifer narrowed his eyes._

_The two soldiers immediately fell silent._

_Seifer stepped forward out of the darkness of the streets, into a pale spot illuminated by a dingy street light. There were dark circles under his eyes and his face looked drawn. It was obvious he hadn't slept. Yellow sand and dust were still smudged on his cheeks and trench coat, indicating he'd only just returned from the desert. The soldiers stood, dumbfounded, but were too frightened to stand at attention._

_"Look…I know I'm Edea's knight, and I know we're supposed to do whatever she says, but you have to listen to me."_

_They watched him, confused._

_"I used to be from Garden," Seifer said in a low voice. "It was my home. Edea's gone too far. A lot of innocent cadets are going to die if we don't do something."_

_The two soldiers blinked at him in surprise._

_"Edea has cut off any correspondence from General Caraway," Seifer continued, "but I need you to pass on these orders from him." He pulled out a folded piece of paper from his trench coat and handed it to the lieutenant. "Go ahead and inspect it for authenticity, if you like."_

_Blinking at Seifer then unfolding the paper, the lieutenant read it quickly and a look of relief crossed his features. "It is. It's from the general himself. This is his seal and his signature." He glanced back up at Seifer. "It says to obey your orders at all costs, regardless of what the sorceress Edea says! But…I don't understand…"_

_"You don't have to understand," Seifer took the piece of paper and opened his palm, lighting it with a spout of fire and burning it. "I just need to know if you're with me."_

_The two soldiers looked at each other._

_Seifer narrowed his eyes. "Do you want to do what she says and kill everything that moves, or do you want to follow my command and spare lives?"_

_They straightened and faced him._

_"Are you with me?" Seifer asked._

_They saluted. "Yes, sir."_

_"I need you to spread the word, and tell all the soldiers – the ones you can trust – about this. I'll tell my captains. I think we can sieze the Galbadian Garden without any bloodshed."_

_The two soldiers nodded and straightened. "Yes, sir."_

_Seifer turned to walk away, but paused and added over his shoulder, "And for Hyne's sake, be discreet about this. She'll kill me if this information gets out. And then she'll kill you."_

_The soldiers saluted again. "Understood, sir."_

_. . . . . ._

_Upon seeing what the evil sorceress was capable of doing to their comrades, the Galbadian soldiers had come to trust Seifer. After the president's murder, they knew that something wasn't right, and after the orders came down from the renowned and honorable General Caraway that Seifer Almasy, Edea's Knight, was to be obeyed under all circumstances, they followed them without question. The teenager, although he seemed to be in league with her, did not punish them as severely as she did. In fact, it seemed as if he was generally trying to take the best course of action, while also keeping her wrath at bay. Unfortunately, because of this, Seifer was also the first one to be punished when there was a mistake. Most of the troopers had grown to like their young commander, however, since obeying his command meant fewer deaths._

_The plan to take over Galbadia Garden spread. Edea would send in a brigade, led by Seifer, in order to wipe out any resistance, and then she would arrive later with an escort of soldiers to clean up and take charge._

_Martine knew it was only a matter of time. He'd lost contact with both Trabia and Balamb. His SeeDs that managed to gain intelligence on the situation didn't return with good news. Trabia Garden had been destroyed by a missile attack and Balamb Garden was nowhere to be found. News from the nearby towns didn't make much sense, either, only that there were reports of a "flying" Garden and then a massive explosion._

_The only solace he got from Caraway was that the undercover SeeD sent from Balamb, Seifer Almasy, was doing his best to handle things, and even then communications were tight since the General no longer had control over his own army. It was a miracle Edea hadn't killed him._

_Nevertheless, it didn't look good._

_The Galbadia Garden SeeDs were vigilant, knowing that they were next on Edea's hit list. When the day came, however, nothing could have prepared Martine and his SeeDs for what was about to happen._

_That afternoon, scouts positioned outside Galbadia Garden immediately returned with alarming news._

_"Alert the Headmaster! They're coming! The Galbadian soldiers are coming!"_

_"Shit! How many? What's your estimate?"_

_"I don't know! Five hundred, at least!"_

_"Take a team of SeeDs to secure the perimeter!"_

_"Secure the perimeter?! We can't hold off five hundred soldiers!"_

_"Just DO it, cadet!"_

_"Yes sir!"_

_"We have to sound an evacuation. There's no way in hell we'll be able to hold them."_

_"Where the fuck are we gonna go? There's nowhere to evacuate to!"_

_"We can't just STAY here, it's suicide!"_

_"We HAVE to stay here! We'll defend our home at all costs, do you understand?"_

_A loud alarm went off in the massive complex._

_**'All Garden students are to report to the main level. Repeat: All Garden students are to report to the main level. Senior SeeDs, form your squads immediately. Students with odd identification numbers are to assemble near the front gate. Students with even identification numbers are to assemble in the quad. This is not a drill. Repeat: this is not a drill.'**_

_"Get the Headmaster! Where's the Headmaster? Shit!"_

_**'All Garden students are to report to the main level. Repeat: All Garden students are to report to the main level. First and second class saber units assemble in the parking lot immediately. All MG ranks are to form units near the rear entrance. This is not a drill. Repeat: this is not a drill.'**_

_Martine's second in command, Zavier, a tall young man with dark auburn hair neatly tied into a very short ponytail and fully decked in a SeeD uniform, strode up to the gate, looking cross._

_"How many?" he demanded._

_"Five hundred strong, maybe more," the scout replied._

_"ETA?"_

_"Less than ten minutes."_

_Zavier swore. "Are our watchdogs already out there?"_

_"Should be."_

_"In position?"_

_"They haven't radioed in a twenty yet."_

_"Has it been confirmed that the sorceress is with them?"_

_The SeeD scout shook his head. "Tanks and motorcades kickin' up a shit-ton of dust, that's all I saw."_

_"TEN-HUT!"_

_The SeeDs immediately fell into single file and froze, despite the frenzy. Martine had appeared at the front gate and acknowledged them with a brief nod._

_"At ease. Where's Zavier?"_

_"Here, sir."_

_Martine started to walk to the very front of the gate, Zavier immediately at his side. "Well? What's going on?"_

_"All SeeDs are in position and standing by, sir. We're waiting for radio contact with - "_

_'Gamma squad to base, do you read?'_

_A SeeD immediately unclipped the walkie-talkie from his belt and responded. "Go ahead, gamma squad."_

_'We are in position and have a visual. Galbadian tanks are in sight, base. Moving in quick from the south and headed straight toward you. Over.'_

_"Copy that. Alpha and beta squads, talk to me."_

_'Alpha in position, over.'_

_'Beta in position, over.'_

_"How many are there?" Martine asked._

_"Give me an estimate on those tanks, gamma," the SeeD said into the radio._

_'Five tanks, ETA to G-Garden four minutes. We've got a motorcade escort, looks like there are about three covered trucks…possibly loaded with battlecycles…and I've got six more filled with Galbadian soldiers, all armed…couple hundred more footsoldiers bringing up the rear…but…you're not going to believe this, base.'_

_The SeeD narrowed his eyes. "Out with it, gamma."_

_'They're carrying a flag of truce. I can't make out the leader…he's in plain sight…'_

_"I want our sharpshooters to hold their position," Martine narrowed his eyes. "If we can't get a visual of the sorceress, then tell them to hold their fire."_

_"Gamma, do you have a visual on the sorceress?"_

_"It could be a trap, sir," Zavier said in a low voice to Martine. "We should unload before they're on top of us - "_

_"I'm not going to order a premeditated attack until it's confirmed the sorceress is with them," Martine replied in a stern voice. "This is still Galbadia and they're still our countrymen, soldier. Keep that in mind."_

_"Sir."_

_"I repeat, gamma," the comms SeeD spoke into the walkie-talkie again, "do you have a visual of the sorceress?"_

_'Uh…that's a negative, base.'_

_"Alpha and beta squads, do you have a visual?"_

_'Negative, base. Over.'_

_'Wait…I see him…that's the guy from the Timber broadcast!'_

_Zavier and Martine stepped up._

_"What??"_

_"Hold your fire," the comms SeeD said. "Alpha, beta, and gamma, stand down. Do not take action if you can't get a visual of the sorceress."_

_'Roger that.'_

_"Zavier," Martine ordered, "get our SeeDs to take their defensive positions but not to advance. I don't believe they're coming here for a hostile attack. I'm going out to discuss terms with Almasy." _

_Zavier nodded._

_Martine leaned closer and added in a low voice, "You know he's undercover, but don't let your guard down. If, for one second, something goes wrong, I want you to let loose on those sons-of-bitches. Protect Garden. Do you understand?"_

_Zavier saluted. "Perfectly, sir."_

_Martine nodded to them and motioned to a few SeeDs. "You and you, come with me."_

_As he started to walk out of Garden, Zavier turned towards the rest of the group that had collected at the front. "Listen up! I want first-class SeeDs to line up at the front gate, NOW!" he bellowed out. "Second-class, bring up the rear and take your positions in the quad! Front lines, secure the entrance but do NOT attack until I give the order!"_

_"SIR!"_

_Zavier turned to the comms SeeD. "Tell our sharpshooters to hold until further orders, but to keep their fingers on the trigger. If Almasy so much as picks his nose, take him out."_

_"Yes, sir."_

_Martine continued to walk out into the open ground with the two SeeDs flanking him. The squeaks of the tanks' gears and tracks, along with the roar of diesel trucks, were getting closer. A large cloud of dust from the motorcade could be seen rising in the air like an ominous storm, and the first truck came into sight._

_Seifer, who was standing in the bed of the truck holding a large flag and scouring ahead for any Galbadian SeeDs, caught his first glimpse of three figures standing there outside of Garden, waiting. He gave the truck's roof a couple of hits with his palm and shouted at the driver._

_"Stop here!"_

_"Yes, sir!"_

_The truck slowed and Seifer hopped out. The tanks and other trucks following him had slowed to a stop as well. The Galbadians started to unload, but Seifer motioned for a captain, dressed in green, to come toward him._

_"Stand your ground here," he said in a low voice. "Remember what I said. They're friendlies. I'm going to go up and talk with the Headmaster."_

_The captain saluted. "Yes, sir."_

_Seifer handed him the large flag and started to walk towards Martine and the two SeeDs._

_Martine couldn't help but shake his head and let out a tiny sigh of relief. Edea wasn't with them. The cold feeling that had embraced and squeezed his gut once he heard about an invasion finally loosened its hold, and for once he found himself hoping for good news._

_"Identify yourself," one of the Galbadian SeeDs stepped up and shouted to Seifer._

_"Almasy, Seifer," he held up his hands and allowed them to search him. "Commander of the Galbadian Army, Knight to Sorceress Edea. We're here to sieze Galbadia Garden."_

_Martine crossed his arms. "Is that so? I'm afraid you're going to have to do better than that if you want my undivided attention, soldier."_

_Seifer glared at a SeeD, who had just removed Hyperion from his belt, and replied, "It's classified, sir. Permission to speak with you alone, and permission to have my weapon back."_

_The two SeeDs looked reluctant._

_"He's junctioned, sir."_

_"I would advise against meeting him in private - "_

_Martine interrupted them by holding up a hand and gave them a nod. "It's all right. Don't worry about me. Go back to the Garden and await further instructions."_

_They saluted and were out of sight within seconds. Martine rubbed his head and sighed. "Almasy, do you want to tell me what the hell is going on? I've got snipers planted all over the place and they've already got you in their sights, so don't try anything stupid."_

_"Look, we don't have much time for the small talk," Seifer clipped Hyperon back onto his belt, "so I'll make this quick. You have to let us take Garden. That's the only way it'll save lives. Edea isn't here yet, but when she gets here, she'll be expecting your head on a pole and all the burning SeeD carcasses piled up right there as a welcoming mat."_

_Martine crossed his arms. "You want us to stand down?"_

_"More than that. I want you to head for the hills and camp out until further notice."_

_Martine chuckled. "That's not possible. I'm not telling my students - "_

_"You're telling your students that you don't have a fucking choice," Seifer stepped forward and pointed at Martine, "because I'm telling you what to do."_

_Immediately, three red dots lit up on Seifer's chest. He glanced down. He suspected two or three more were on his head. He retracted his hand away from Martine, stepped back slowly, and raised his middle finger to the air._

_"You expect us to retreat?" Martine raised an eyebrow. "We won't do that. Not in the face of this threat. We'll stand and fight, and maybe we'll finally have a chance to kill this Edea - "_

_"Your best sharpshooter couldn't do it, could he?" Seifer interrupted._

_Martine set his jaw._

_"The team sent out to get her failed," Seifer continued. "The only reason I'm still putting up with her shit is because we don't have enough intel on her yet. Don't do this, sir. Don't stay here. She'll come in and wipe you all out. It'll be a massacre."_

_"You have the entire Galbadian military at your behest," Martine thrusted his hand out and motioned at the army behind him. "I've got Galbadian SeeDs behind your back! She's outnumbered! When she gets here, we can strike!"_

_"I've seen what she can do," Seifer shook his head. "She can cast spells I've never even heard of before and she'll level this fucking place with the snap of her fingers - "_

_"I've got hundreds of SeeDs junctioned with the best magic in the nation. We can take her down."_

_Seifer sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "No. It's not that easy."_

_Martine examined him. "There's something you're not telling me, cadet."_

_She used to be my mom._

_"Edea's possessed," Seifer said. "She's possessed by something else; something that might come back even if we kill her."_

_Martine narrowed his eyes. "You're sure of this?"_

_"Oh, I'm sure."_

_"I can't risk it, soldier. I've received reports that Trabia Garden has been obliterated and Balamb..."_

_Seifer snapped to attention and his face paled. "What about Balamb?"_

_Martine sighed. "I don't know. I've lost contact with Cid Kramer."_

_Seifer turned away and lowered his head, clenching his jaw in anger._

_Shit. Shit! They couldn't stop the missiles in time…Trabia was hit…was Balamb…?_

_"Quite honestly, I don't know how far you plan on continuing your mission without further orders from B-Garden," Martine finally said, "and we can't confirm that Balamb even made it out of there - "_

_"How about we give it the benefit of the fucking doubt?" Seifer snapped. "I can't just give up!"_

_"Almasy, how do I know those missiles went off without your aid? Just what exactly is this undercover mission accomplishing?"_

_Seifer glared at Martine._

_"If we let her continue this onslaught, hundreds more will die," Martine continued. "I can't just give her control over my Garden. She'll use it as her base and coordinate the attacks on thousands of innocent civilians."_

_"I'm telling you, something's wrong," Seifer growled. "She wants to destroy SeeDs for a reason. Don't give her that chance."_

_"We're done here, Almasy. I suggest you consider what I said. We'll take down the sorceress together if we combine forces."_

_Martine turned his back on Seifer and started to walk away._

_Seifer gritted his teeth and shook his head. _

_Hyne. I suck at being persuasive. I never was good at diplomacy or politics…damn, the only thing I'm good at is using force…_

_...shit._

_"I'll be forced to attack, sir," Seifer crossed his arms. "Don't let it come to this."_

_Martine stopped and gave Seifer an incredulous look._

_"I have over seven hundred armored troops with an endless supply of ammo, and they're not in a good mood," Seifer narrowed his eyes. "How many residents do you have here? About three-fifty?"_

_Martine faced him. "You wouldn't dare."_

_"It'd be smarter for you to run, wouldn't it?"_

_Martine's face grew stony. "You'll be court-marshaled for this."_

_Seifer made a farting noise. "Not if I die first, and by the looks of things, it might be sooner rather than later."_

_"You don't want to do this, son," Martine warned._

_"No, I don't," Seifer shook his head. "But it's what Edea will order once she arrives, and she'll be coming with more soldiers. You can only hold her off for so long." He cocked his head behind him, back towards the waiting Galbadian soldiers. "But once she gives the order, who do you think they're going to listen to? Me or her? They're too afraid of her to go against her. I'm already out here on a limb as it is. They're here to take over Garden, not to kill you…but if it comes to it, she'll change their minds. She always does."_

_Martine examined Seifer for a long while, then his eyes darted to the motorcade in the distance. Galbadian soldiers were waiting silently, with guns slung over their shoulders. He glanced back and looked forlornly at his own Garden._

_He didn't want his students to die like this._

_"I'm just a fucking puppet to her, Martine," Seifer said in a low voice. "She'll kill me if she wants to. Right now I'm the only person standing between your Garden and Edea, but if she kills me, the Galbadian soldiers will be forced to listen to her. What do you think will happen then?"_

_Martine set his jaw and watched Seifer. There was another long pause. He glanced back at the Galbadian motorcade again and sighed in defeat._

_"What do you suggest?"_

_"Hide in the mountains and the surrounding forests," Seifer replied. "They've got basic training in how to survive out in the field, don't they?"_

_Martine glared at him. "Of course they do."_

_"I'll have to take full responsibility of the fuck-up," Seifer rubbed the back of his neck as he thought out loud. "She'll be pissed…but at least you guys will be long gone before she gets here…"_

_"How do you know she won't order them to hunt us down?" Martine asked. "If her goal is to destroy SeeDs like you say, then she won't stop until we're found."_

_Seifer crossed his arms. "I'll make something up. I'll cover for you guys…somehow. I'll think of something…a diversion, I don't know."_

_Martine looked skeptical, but Seifer gave him a bitter grin._

_"Don't worry. Bullshitting is my specialty."_

_"Then what will you do from there?" Martine pressed. "Exactly how long should we expect to lay low? We're not going to remain hidden forever."_

_Seifer glanced past Martine at Galbadia Garden. There had to be a way to get the Balamb Team to come after him…assuming they got out of prison. If they did, Squall might try to make an attempt at finding him. Seifer knew he'd rise to the challenge…but…what about Balamb Garden…? There had to be a way to contact Cid…_

_"You said you lost all communications with Cid?"_

_Martine nodded grimly._

_"What about Caraway?"_

_"I'm afraid there's not much he can do from his standpoint. It's in your hands, now."_

_Yeah. Figures. Goody._

_Martine sighed. "If it's any consolation, I don't believe Balamb was severely hit…there were reports of an unidentified flying…" He stopped. He blinked and furrowed his brows. "No…no, it's impossible…"_

_Seifer narrowed his eyes. "What?"_

_Without warning, Martine let out a chuckle. "Cid…you crazy, son of a bitch…"_

_"What?!"_

_"I think I know what happened," Martine cleared his throat and straightened his face. "It's farfetched, and it's probably not going to work, and I don't even know where the damn blueprints are, or even if there's a key - "_

_"What the hell are you talking about?"_

_Martine glanced up at Seifer. "I think we can get Garden to fly."_


	10. Therapy

**_"Every night you wrote another line_**

**_With a bloody, broken bottle..._**

**_And every day you wish it away..._**

**_Why don't you pull the pin on that grenade you coddle?"_**

_"Suicide Note"_ by Johnette Napolitano

* * *

Quistis and Seifer were both standing in Cid's office, staring straight ahead. The sour mood had followed them after they left Quistis's room, and the trip to the Headmaster's office was silent. Seifer brooded over Quistis's previous statements and she was busy wondering how to lighten the situation. She mentally kicked herself and chewed the inside of her cheek.

_We're not off to a good start. He probably hates the fact I'm supposed to evaluate him. He hates me enough as it is. How in the world am I going to get him to cooperate now?_

Cid was looking at some papers and glanced up at them, adjusting his glasses. "At ease."

They both shifted their feet and put their hands behind their backs.

"I've spoken with Dr. Kadowaki, Quistis, and she tells me that you're ready to start doing student evaluations independently."

She nodded. "Yes, sir." _I don't see how I'm fit to do student evals if I haven't even gotten over the symptoms yet…_

"And Seifer, by now I'm sure you've spoken to Quistis about your assignment."

_More or less._ Seifer cleared his throat. "Yes, Headmaster."

"I expect you to cooperate," Cid glanced at him from under the rim of his glasses. "Understood?"

Seifer almost snorted. _Yeah. Sure. Can't wait._ "Yes, sir." He glanced at Quistis, who was watching him out of the corner of her eye. He gave her a tiny smirk.

_Oh, Hyne,_ Quistis lamented. _I know that look._ _That's the I'm-up-to-no-good look._

"By now, most of the other students have finished their mental evaluations," Cid looked back down at some papers, "but I don't want you two to rush things. For one, Seifer, your situation is entirely different than the others, and for two, Quistis, this will be your first time and could take some getting used to."

_Good to know I'll be Trepe's guinea pig,_ Seifer thought bitterly.

"Therefore, take all the time you need," Cid continued. "I don't care how long you spend on this case, Quistis, and if you need an extension or additional materials, just let me know."

"Yes, sir."

Seifer almost snorted. _Great. _

_'Welcome home, Almasy. Thanks for getting my wife back. You're a hero. By the way, hope you don't mind Quistis Trepe, Ice Bitch Extraordinaire, dissecting your painful past.' _

_'__No problem, Cid. Anything else I can do for you, like bend over and hand you the lube?'_

Cid stood up and picked up what looked like a plain, brown shoe box and handed it to Quistis. "Dr. Kadowaki dropped this off not too long ago for you. Inside are all the materials you'll need for the evaluation."

Seifer eyed the box. _Probably full of syringes._ _Duct_ _tape. Chloroform. Pliers. Rope. Razor blades. A tourniquet…_

"I would also like you to start teaching again, Quistis, if it's not too much trouble," Cid added with a grin. "Of course, you don't have to start a lesson until you're ready, but I'll give you a list of courses to choose from. I know you'll need time to plan the curriculum and all that, but just let me know what you'd like to do."

Seifer watched Quistis out of the corner of his eye.

Quistis nodded. "Yes, Headmaster. Thank you."

The Headmaster turned around and walked back towards his desk. "I know that it's strange, trying to get back into the swing of things, which is why I encourage both of you to take part in additional activities to interact with the rest of the students. I'm not trying to force all of these duties on you, of course, without a reason." He faced the tall window behind his desk that overlooked the Balamb countryside. "Selphie's in charge of the festival committee, is that correct?"

"Yes, sir," Quistis replied.

"You two should volunteer," Cid suggested. "I don't want you to solely place all your efforts in work. I'd like you to have a little bit of fun, especially since the ceremony is coming up."

Seifer looked at Quistis, brought a finger to his mouth, and pretended to gag.

Quistis stared ahead and tried to ignore him.

"I want you to remember that this is _your_ time, now," Cid continued. "Make good use of it." He turned around and smiled at them sadly. "I think we all know that time is short. Nothing lasts forever."

. . .

After stepping out of his office, Seifer snorted. "Time is short. Nothing lasts forever," he imitated. "What the hell was that all about?"

"The man's under a lot of stress and he only just got his wife back," Quistis hissed. "Be nice. We've all been through a lot. He just wants us to finally enjoy ourselves, that's all."

"Hanging streamers from the ceiling and taking orders from that little pixie friend of yours doesn't exactly sound like fun to me," Seifer replied. "More like…cruel and unusual punishment…"

"What do _you_ do for fun, then?"

He didn't reply. _Gee, I don't know. Lately I've been following around a crazy murderer. Good times._

Quistis sighed. "Well…when did you want to start our first session?"

Seifer crossed his arms. "I don't know, Trepe. You heard the Headmaster. He doesn't want us to rush things. Let's not ruin our beautiful relationship so fast, so soon."

Quistis rolled her eyes. "Are you busy this afternoon?"

"Booked solid," he replied sarcastically.

"Then why don't you just follow me back to my room, and we'll sort through some of this stuff," Quistis lifted up the box and examined it.

Seifer blinked at her. He figured she'd still be upset about their earlier exchange. Guess not.

"Just like old times, Trepe," he said with a grin. "Feels like I'm going to detention."

Quistis sighed. "Tell me about it." She leaned forward to press the lift button.

He frowned, but decided to ignore the dread in her voice. He glanced over at her. "So, you're going to give teaching another shot?"

She looked up at him. "That's right."

He shrugged. "Figured you were done with it."

"I was. But after we got back from Esthar, Cid reinstated my position and the board gave me a new instructing license. Said it was all a big misunderstanding."

Seifer crossed his arms. "Sounds like they just want to kiss the ass of a hero, if you ask me."

Quistis shrugged and didn't reply.

"If you don't want to do it, then just tell Cid to fuck off."

Quistis narrowed her eyes at him. "I wouldn't say that to the Headmaster, Seifer - "

"Okay, Trepe, obviously not verbatim, but you know what I mean."

"Well, I still want to teach. I like it. I just hope that they're giving me a teaching position based on merit and credentials, not because I defeated a sorceress."

Seifer remained silent.

"Besides, I think they're a little short-handed," Quistis added quietly. "A few instructors died last year."

Seifer remained silent, knowing she was referring to the Galbadian and Balamb Garden fight. The lift arrived with a _ding_ and the doors slid open. They both entered the lift and waited silently.

After a long pause, Seifer glanced at her. "What _did_ you lose your license for, anyway?"

Quistis sighed. "I don't really want to talk about it, Seifer. It's all in the past. Just forget it."

"Oh, c'mon. You've got it back already, so it couldn't have been that bad. Did you piss someone off? Was it because of that stupid fan club?"

Quistis pinched the bridge of her nose. "I don't know…"

"It couldn't have been because you were a bad teacher," Seifer shrugged. "It had to have been something else."

Quistis glanced up at him with a raised eyebrow. _Did he just…compliment my teaching…?_

Seifer looked down at her and realized his slip. "I mean, when you weren't chasing after Squall you were an okay teacher," he shrugged. "I've had worse instructors, and _they_ never got canned."

Quistis set her jaw and looked away.

There was a pause. Seifer stole a glance at her. "It wasn't because of me, was it?"

"No, Seifer, my license wasn't revoked because of you," she snapped, rolling her eyes. "As much as you'd _love_ to be the reason for it, I'm sure."

He curled a lip. "Whoa, retract the claws! Shit! I was just asking! What makes you think I _wanted_ to get you fired?"

"You disrupted class almost every single day!" Quistis replied in exasperation. "Why else?"

"C'mon, Trepe, it made class interesting. Who else could I bother?"

Quistis rolled her eyes again and let out a growl. "Well, it doesn't matter now."

Seifer examined her. "It was because of Squall, wasn't it?"

"Ugh! Why are you so talkative all of a sudden?"

"Because I'm curious."

"Seifer, just drop it!"

Seifer grinned. "I was right on the train last year, wasn't I? You couldn't hide your feelings for him."

Quistis turned to give him a cold glare. "You don't know anything about it, Seifer."

"I don't?"

"No, you don't."

"I was _there_, Trepe. Remember?"

"Oh, I remember."

"You can't tell me there was nothing going on with Squall," he sneered. "I saw it in class _all_ the time."

"_All right, that's it for today's lesson. I'll expect those five-page essays on my desk no later than tomorrow afternoon. Remember, for SeeD candidates, the field exam is less than a month away. Go through your protocols and be sure you're prepared. If you haven't submitted your uniform measurements, now is the time to do so. The deadline is this Friday. Seifer, please see me before you leave."_

_There they were. The famous words. Trepe was in a laid-back mood today. She used the word 'please.' Sometimes, when she was pissed off, she'd say something like 'Seifer, I'll see you in detention,' or 'Seifer, get up here. Now.'_

_He slowly got up with a disgruntled sigh and sauntered up to the front of the room. Squall was still packing some books up, always the last to leave. He wondered if he did that shit on purpose. He wondered if Squall actually liked the instructor back. Doubtful, but still…as much as Leonhart looked like he hated being the focus of Quistis's attention, he didn't do much to avoid it. Shit, his cold shoulder and indifference to Quistis practically encouraged her rather than defer her._

_Seifer reminded himself to beat Squall's ass extra hard next time in training._

_He reached the front of the classroom and leaned against the wall, crossing his arms. "Yeah? What'd I do this time?"_

_Quistis was kneeling down, rifling for something in her satchel. "You haven't submitted your measurements for a SeeD candidate uniform."_

_Seifer stole a quick glance at her rear as she bent forward. "So?"_

"_So, you have to do it before the field exam."_

"_I've submitted those measurements three or four times already."_

_Quistis looked up and brushed a strand of hair out of her face. "Last year doesn't count, or the year before that. You've probably grown since then."_

_Seifer grinned darkly and grabbed his crotch, shifting it a bit. "Mmmh, you think so?"_

_She narrowed her eyes and curled her lip in disgust. "Ugh…just get your measurements redone, Seifer. Same thing as last time. Inseam, waist size, shoulder width, et cetera."_

"_Do you wanna do the honors, instructor?"_

_Quistis stood up and handed him a clipboard, ignoring the question. Clipped to it was a measurement sheet. "Just fill this out and get it back to me before the end of the week," she said._

"_I don't see the fucking point," Seifer grumbled. "I'm gonna fail this thing anyway."_

"_You'll only fail if you keep believing that," Quistis replied in an annoyed tone. "You know, if you'd try practicing a little self-restraint and obeying orders once in awhile, you just might pass the exam."_

_Seifer grinned and held out an arm, palm up, slightly bowing. "But why in the hell would I do something like that?"_

_Quistis sighed and zipped up her bag, turning to face him. "Just…try. At least try to pass the field exam this year. I know you're more than capable of being a SeeD, Seifer."_

_Seifer was about to reply when Squall was passing through the front of the room, heading towards the door. Quistis's gaze flicked towards him._

"_Squall, could you wait up for a moment? I need to speak with you." She glanced at Seifer and completely ignored his dark scowl. "That is all, Seifer. I expect to have that sheet back to me by the end of this week."_

"_Yeah. We'll see," Seifer growled in a low voice and turned around, stalking towards the door and purposely slamming into Squall's shoulder. "Watch where you're going, asswipe."_

"_Screw you, Almasy."_

They stepped off the lift and rounded the quad, heading towards the dormitory wing.

"There was nothing going on with Squall, Seifer," she snapped. "He wasn't the reason I lost my license."

"Then why did you constantly baby him?" Seifer scowled.

Quistis sighed in frustration. "For the last time, I wasn't _babying_ him! I tried to _help_ him, and I did that by constantly trying to talk to him. Hyne knew _he_ wasn't going to take the initiative to talk. Squall was a SeeD candidate, for Hyne's sakes. If he was going to lead squads into battle and decide on life-or-death situations, the kid needed to learn how to speak the language of the human race."

Seifer crossed his arms. She had a point. Not that he'd admit it.

"I wasn't worried about you," Quistis shrugged. "You could handle yourself. Believe it or not, you were a fantastic SeeD candidate, if only you'd _listen_ once in a while. It was Squall I was worried about. He was so withdrawn. Garden couldn't afford to have any mute SeeDs."

"Oh, don't be so modest, Trepe. If I didn't know better, I'd say you had a crush on him."

Quistis clenched her teeth. "Seifer, _I _was the one who decided on the seating chart. Why do you think I put _you_ next to him?"

Seifer glanced at her.

"I figured if anyone could get him to come out of his shell, it'd be you," Quistis shrugged. "If I couldn't do it, at least maybe you'd be successful in pissing him off to the point of achieving some sort of outburst. I even put both of you in the back of the room so you'd have plenty of chances to bother him."

Seifer was surprised at this information. _Fuck. I never thought of it that way._

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

…_Oh._

There was a long pause as they neared her dorm room.

Quistis sighed and fumbled around for her card key._ I can't believe I'm going to tell Seifer the same thing I tried to tell Squall a year ago...oh, irony of ironies…_

After she swiped the key through the slot, her door beeped and slid open. She stepped through and Seifer followed her.

"I suppose I lost my license because I still considered my students to be my friends," she shrugged, breaking the silence. "I tried to draw a line between being an instructor and being a young SeeD, but I guess I didn't quite make the distinction. You're the same age as me. Squall's only a year younger. I guess as much as I tried to be your instructor, I ended up being an eighteen-year-old mentor. I realized that I wanted to be Squall's big sister, not his teacher. I ended up fighting and quarreling with you more often than actually disciplining you, Seifer. We simply treated each other like teenagers and nobody had a sense of that student-instructor respect for me because I didn't demand it enough – all of those old feelings from the orphanage had surfaced, I guess, and the board saw that. They said I didn't have any leadership qualities…that I couldn't separate emotion from the classroom…that I'd failed as an instructor."

Seifer didn't reply.

Quistis set the box down on the coffee table and picked up the rest of Seifer's remaining trash. "I guess in retrospect, they were right. I wasn't ready. I knew how to _teach_, but was I ready to separate myself from the other SeeD candidates? Candidates my age? I tried to grow up too fast. I tried to take on more than I could handle, and I think I missed out on my childhood…and I desperately wanted to get it back by interacting with all of you."

Seifer glanced at her.

"Besides," Quistis chuckled bitterly, "I couldn't go around acting like a big sister, getting attached, if students were about to go off into battle and die."

_Not necessarily,_ Seifer thought. _Everyone needs something to fight for. Mothers. Sisters. Instructors…_

She bent over and plucked the box top off, examining its contents. There was a recording device, a small box full of formatted disc drives, plenty of pens and pencils, and a blank pad of paper.

Quistis furrowed her brow and began to fumble around in the box as Seifer sat down on the couch with a sigh.

_Fuck, this couch is comfortable. And I'm so...fucking...tired..._

Quistis straightened and put a hand on her hip. "Hmm."

"What?"

"There's no case file."

"You mean mine?"

"Yeah. It's not in here."

"Well, it shouldn't be in there. It doesn't exist."

"What do you mean?"

"Cid erased all my files."

Quistis swallowed, the realization dawning on her face. "Oh...right."

Seifer leaned back. "Guess I'll just have to start my life all over again."

Quistis nodded sadly. "It'd be nice if there was a reset button, huh?" she agreed quietly.

Seifer watched her and remained silent.

She crumpled the trash and headed into her room to throw it away, then called out, "Just give me a second, and we'll start this thing."

_Mmmph. Yeah. Sure. Take all the time you need…_

Quistis walked into her bathroom, closed the door, grabbed her skirt, stood in front of the toilet, and hesitated.

_Oh, Hyne. I can't do this with Seifer sitting out there._

She reached over and turned the water faucet on.

_Better._

When she was finished, she washed her hands and stole a quick glance in the mirror. She blinked and slowly removed her glasses, tucked a few flyaway strands behind her ears, checked her teeth, and slammed a palm into her forehead.

_What am I doing? Why do I care how I look? Ugh…especially for…Seifer. It must be programmed into female DNA. That's it._

After turning off the faucet and emerging from the bathroom, Quistis stepped forward to remove the contents from the box when she stopped short.

Seifer was asleep.

She blinked at him in surprise and crossed her arms, watching him. The angry furrow in his brow was gone and the arrogant smirk – or troubled frown – had softened into a straight line. Neutral. He slept upright; his fists were balled at his sides, but because he was so tall, the back of the couch didn't rise high enough to support his neck, so his head was bent backwards at an awkward angle.

_He needs a pillow._

The throw pillows were too small and stiff. He needed something that would conform to his head. Quistis slowly bent over and quietly removed her boots, then she turned around and softly padded over to her bedroom, grabbed a pillow, walked back into the sitting room, and bit her lip.

_If I wake him, he might actually kill me._

She hesitated.

_But if he wakes up stiff and sore, I'll have to deal with his unpleasant attitude._

She slowly stepped forward and stopped.

_If he wakes up and sees me like this, he'll think I'm trying to smother him, and then he really will murder me._

Quistis stifled a laugh and grinned to herself at the thought. _I'll risk death._

Tiptoeing around the coffee table, she leaned over Seifer and tried to think of the best way to place the pillow under his head without waking him up. And touching him as little as possible. Flexing her fingers nervously, she finally opted to slowly guide his head up by placing her left hand behind his neck and wedging the pillow between him and the couch with her right hand.

Hyne, his head was heavy. She lifted it slowly, careful not to bob his head around while trying to maintain an awkward balance standing over him. When he let out a tiny sigh, she froze and glanced down.

Nothing. Not even an angry grunt, moan, or snore.

_He's totally out._

After putting the pillow down, she gently guided his head back down onto it and made sure he wouldn't flop over. She glanced at his face.

She'd never been this close to Seifer before, save for the fact when she would be in his face yelling at him and pointing at him for doing something to piss her off. Even then, she'd never really _looked_ at him. Without those disarming green eyes to bore a hole straight through her, he actually wasn't very intimidating. A stubborn cowlick – a tiny strand of blonde hair – popped out from Seifer's short crop and fell forward, like it always did. The dark pink scar slashed between his eyes showed no signs of receding, and Quistis couldn't help but grin when she thought of his testosterone-driven feud with Squall a year ago. It was funny how they both took it so seriously at the time. Now it seemed like child's play compared to what they'd all been through.

She slowly moved her hand out from under his neck and hesitated.

_He looks so different._

The dark circles under his eyes and the maddening glare he'd given them as he pointed Hyperion at them and shouted crazy rhetoric about being a knight and destroying all who opposed him…were gone.

The smudges of dark soot and splatters of blood on his face…were gone.

The pained grimace after being stabbed, shot, whipped, burned, and punched, time and time again…the bruises on his cheeks and neck…were gone.

The look of hatred he'd given them, his lips curled up into a disdainful snarl and his eyes narrowed with anger – or even fear – was finally gone.

Even though their lives had been filled with fighting and battles and blood and glory, for once in all the long years she'd known him, he actually looked like he was at peace, sleeping there. No doubt he hadn't had much upon his return from Garden – she knew _she_ hadn't – and she knew how precious a commodity sleep was. So she watched him, somewhat pleased that he was able to find some sort of comfort in her presence.

Satisfied, she straightened up and crossed her arms.

The evaluation could wait a little bit longer.

. . .

Seifer slowly opened his eyes and was immediately confused.

…_Where am I? Was I sleeping? Where in the hell…_

"Feeling better?"

Her soft voice made him start. He immediately blinked and his head jerked towards the armchair, where Quistis was quietly sitting, legs crossed, with a book in her lap. She pulled off her glasses and watched him.

Seifer blinked again and looked around groggily. The subtle smell of lavender, comfortable cushions, and soft colors drifting in from the rosy curtains filtering the sunlight reminded him that he was still in Quistis's room. He'd fallen asleep exactly where he sat. He slowly sat up and rubbed his neck, expecting a nasty cramp from sleeping upright, but was surprised to find a pillow behind his head. Quistis must've propped it up while he was sleeping.

His voice was soft and hoarse, still relatively dormant from grogginess. "How long have I been out?"

She smiled gently at him. "Almost two hours."

He blinked again. "That long?"

Quistis nodded.

"Why didn't you wake me up?"

"I wasn't in a hurry. Besides, you looked like you needed it." _And I didn't want to die a premature death at your hands, _she thought.

Seifer groaned and slumped over, putting the pillow over his head. He sighed. _I don't want to go through with this. I don't want to answer any fucking questions._

Quistis remained silent and he heard her turn a page in the book. Apparently she didn't want to go through with it, either.

Was this the pillow she used in bed? Hyne, it smelled good. And holy fuck, did that nap feel great. Better than sex. From what he could remember, anyway. He let out a half-groan, half-sigh from under the pillow.

"Mmmmmmrrrrrrrrrrrrrfffffffff."

He kicked off his boots and put his feet up on the couch. _Yes. Yes, this feels nice. Okay, I can deal with this._

Quistis glanced at him and suppressed a smile. For some reason, she liked how he made himself comfortable on her couch. To her, it meant several things; that he wasn't as repulsed by her as he always carried on, that she must've made an incredibly good investment when she decided to purchase that couch, that someone had actually taken the time to appreciate it, that someone was actually in her room for longer than an hour, and that it seemed almost as if Seifer Almasy didn't want to leave.

The last notion was more pleasing than anything else.

Her gaze darted to his midriff, where his grey t-shirt slightly rode up when he slumped over and raised his arms to bury his face in the pillow. His abdomen flexed every time he took a breath, revealing the muscles underneath. Quistis gulped and turned her attention back towards the book.

_Aaaaaauuuuuughhhh. Hyne. I must be really desperate for company if I have to lust after Seifer Almasy, the biggest asshole to walk the face of the –_

"So when should we get this shit over with?" Seifer grumbled from under the pillow.

She sighed and closed her book. "We can go ahead and start. Let me grab a pen and some paper."

He sighed, not removing the pillow from his face. He heard her walk into her bedroom, the sound of a few items being moved around, the shuffle of fabric, soft footsteps coming closer, the sound of something being pulled out of the box…

_I could go right back to sleep. This pillow smells great. What does she put in her hair? _He took in a deep breath. _It's like a mix of lavender…or flowers…with some citrusy-type smell…or some shit…_

_Hyne. Stop trying to analyze her shampoo, you fag._

She plopped down in the chair and crossed her legs, flipping open her notebook and scribbling down a few notes.

_24 June, 1400 hours. Patient: Almasy, Seifer. SeeD rank: 26_

Seifer removed the pillow, sat up and sighed. "Okay, doc," he mocked her with a grin, "you gonna show me those weird blot tests so I can tell you I'm obsessed with vagina?"

"No," Quistis sighed, trying to ignore the question as she inserted a tiny disc into a handheld recording machine.

"How about hypnotizing me into confessing something deep and dark and scary?"

"I'm tempted," she glared at him, "but it doesn't work that way. I'm going to ask you questions, of which you'll answer fully and _truthfully_ to the best of your knowledge."

"What if I don't want to answer?"

"You have to. Your responses are kept confidential, Seifer. Anything you say to me will not leave this room."

Seifer snorted. "What if I don't want _you_ to know?"

Quistis narrowed her eyes. "Tough shit."

Seifer sighed and leaned back, folding his ankles in front of him. "Okay, instructor. Shoot."

Quistis stiffened. "Stop calling me instructor."

Seifer raised an amused eyebrow but remained silent.

"Okay," she sighed and straightened, pushing a button on the recorder and holding it up to her mouth. "Patient is Almasy, Seifer, SeeD rank 26. Date is June 24th, 1400 hours." She leaned forward and placed it on the coffee table between them.

Seifer chuckled. "You're so lame, Trepe."

She ignored him. "Seifer, when did Headmaster Cid offer you the covert operations position to track down and spy on Edea Kramer, who was at the time possessed by the sorceress Ultimecia?"

Seifer smirked, still silently making fun of her. She crossed her arms and glared at him. He looked away and sighed.

"The day of the SeeD field exam," he replied in a detached tone, "30 August, last summer. Cid called me up to the office after he had promoted the other SeeDs."

"And when did you leave for the mission?"

"The day after Leonhart and his team departed for Timber, 1 September, when President Deling broadcasted his announcement." Seifer gave her a sardonic grin. "The day you followed me on the train like a lovesick, bumbling idiot."

Quistis snatched up the recorder and turned it off.

"Seifer," she snapped, "will you at least _try_ to be professional about this?"

"You told me to tell the truth."

"Yes, well, was that _really_ necessary? And at the time, I didn't know you were a SeeD! I thought you were trying to defect!"

"But the lovesick, bumbling idiot part was correct?"

"Yes! I mean, no! I followed you because of your blatant disregard for the rules!"

"Shouldn't you include that in your notes, then?"

He was still smiling, knowing he could still get a rile out of her. She narrowed her eyes and curled a lip at him.

"Fine. Whatever. Have it your way. But please refrain from the name-calling." She clicked the recorder back on and set it down. "And your mission was to also kidnap the president?"

Seifer's grin disappeared. "No."

"Then why did you pull your gunblade on him?"

"Is this supposed to be therapy, or your version of a Hyne-damned inquisition?" Seifer snapped angrily.

Quistis sighed and leaned forward to stop the recorder once more. "Seifer, you have to trust me. I'm just setting the stage right now to get into the primary parts of your mission."

Seifer glared at her. "Setting the _stage?_ Talk about a fucking Freudian slip."

Quistis swallowed, remembering his first encounter with Matron in the TV station. "Seifer…"

"Sounds to me you're trying to noose me into the guilty plea," Seifer curled a lip. "If this information ever got out, the media would have a heyday with this. The politicians are already looking for a reason to have me dead."

"I told you before," she reminded him, "that this information is strictly confidential. Besides, stop being so dramatic. All the top officials know your situation." She paused, suddenly realizing that she didn't confirm that fact before. "They do, don't they?"

Seifer snorted. "Yeah, they do."

Quistis jotted down a few notes, reminding herself to ask him about Caraway and Martine.

Seifer watched her. "Now what'd I do?"

"Nothing. I'm just taking notes."

Seifer narrowed his eyes. "Why? What'd I say?"

"Nothing! I just wanted to remind myself about something."

"Are you doodling pictures of balls and shafts, Trepe?"

She glared at him. "No, only _you'd_ do something like that. Like on all your written exams."

"And boobs. Don't forget the boobs."

Quistis shook her head and waved a hand dismissively. "Anyway…where were we…oh, right. So, tell me about your decision to go after Vinzer Deling."

Seifer crossed his arms and looked away, setting his jaw. "I don't see how this helps me. Besides, you were _there_."

"Seifer, please," Quistis softened her voice and remembered what Dr. Kadowaki had said. "I know it's hard for you…but the reason I'm going back to the beginning is because I need you to show me from your point of view. I have to take you back there. You have to tell me the story. That's all. This isn't to place judgment on you."

Seifer glared at her and didn't reply.

"Okay," she sighed. "Let's try this again." She leaned forward, turned the recorder on, and sat back, crossing her legs. "Why did you attack the President without authorization, Seifer?"

Seifer blinked at her and gritted his teeth. "I pulled my gunblade on the president because the previously deployed SeeD team's objective was to kidnap him, which had evidently failed miserably. I also had to get Edea to reveal herself. I figured I'd kill two birds with one stone by grabbing him."

Quistis almost grinned. Even after being promoted to a SeeD – secretly – he still couldn't follow orders without doing something drastic. Typical Seifer.

"And it worked," Quistis responded. "The sorceress Edea showed herself in Timber after you threatened the president."

Seifer glared at her. "That's correct."

"What happened after that?"

Seifer set his jaw and didn't reply. He lowered his gaze to the floor.

"…Seifer?"

"I followed her."

Quistis nodded and scribbled something on her notepad. "Were you frightened?"

Seifer snapped to attention and blinked at her. "What?"

"How did you feel? Triumphant, brave, scared?"

"What the fuck is this?"

"Just answer the question, Seifer."

Seifer clenched his teeth.

'_Poor, poor boy. Such a confused, little boy. Are you going to step forward…? Retreat…? You have to decide.'_

"You were there, Quistis."

At the mention of her first name, Quistis looked up and met his gaze. There was something in his eyes. Darkness…regret…possibly even fear.

"Yes, I was there. But I want to know how you felt at the time."

Seifer narrowed his eyes. "How did _you_ feel?"

"I…" Quistis trailed off. She nearly sat forward to turn off the machine again but she figured she'd humor him, as long as it got him to open up.

_Heart pounding, she ran towards the back of the stage after Seifer. It was eerily dark, the curtains emitting a strange, purple glow. His shadow bounced off the walls as she heard his panicked shouts at someone…his back was to her…Quistis tried to scream at him but no sound would come out. She quickened her pace, trying to reach him…but a high-pitched screech pierced her ears and she knelt down, gripping her forehead in pain. Everything had gone dark after that, and when she came to, Seifer was gone._

Gone_._

"I was afraid for you," she admitted quietly.

Seifer watched her. After a pause, he shifted in his seat and snorted. "Yeah, well, I wasn't afraid."

Quistis swallowed and pretended to ignore his apathy towards her response. "You weren't?"

"I was angry, mostly," he shrugged. "Pissed off that something like that could happen to Matron."

Quistis nodded and scribbled in her notebook again.

_Patient feigns anger but had displayed signs of aggression out of fear._

"What are you writing?"

"Just a few notes."

"Like what? How fucked up I am?"

"Seifer…"

"What do you need the notebook for if you're recording me?"

Quistis grabbed the recording device and angrily punched the _stop_ button. "For exactly this reason! Will you _please_ stay on track here?"

"I'm just curious, instructor."

He gave her his best smartass smirk. She stiffened at his words and chafed at his smile. _Ooooooooh! _

"If you _must_ know," she replied in an irritated tone, "I'm writing down that even though you claim you weren't afraid at the time of Edea's appearance, you're blatantly trying to hide the fact that you had, at the time, displayed some form of apprehension."

Seifer narrowed his eyes. "What?"

"In simpler terms, _denial_," Quistis challenged him with an icy glare of her own.

"I _know_ what you meant. If you don't believe me," Seifer snarled, "and since you were _there_, then why bother to fucking ask me in the first place?"

"The point is to get you to openly admit your experiences," Quistis tried to explain it to him calmly, but she was running out of patience, and his temper wasn't helping things. She expected as much from him, and she had promised herself to exercise extreme patience with someone who was considered her worst student, but old habits die hard. Try as hard as she might, Quistis wasn't one to remain patient with Seifer for long. Especially if he insisted on calling her 'instructor' on purpose. It was like being on an emotional roller coaster. He'd have his moments when he'd make her smile…and there were other moments when she just wanted to kill him.

"I need you to be completely truthful with me, Seifer. I only witnessed that one event in Timber, but from there you'll have to take me where I wasn't able to go."

Seifer sighed, looking obstinate.

"If you're not going to tell me the truth now, then I'll just come back later," Quistis shrugged dismissively. "And the day after that, and the day after that. I'll report to Cid on your progress – or lack thereof – and he'll just have to deal with you instead. Would you rather have Dr. Kadowaki be the one asking the questions? Or maybe I could put in a referral to demote your SeeD rank?"

Seifer glared at her with narrowed eyes. "Are you threatening me, Trepe?"

"I'm _promising_ you, Seifer. Just because you're the highest ranking SeeD in Garden besides Squall doesn't make you immune to demotion, even by me."

Seifer's nostrils flared. "What makes you think I give a shit about SeeD rank, anyway?"

"If you're demoted, Squall will be the superior SeeD in Garden."

Fuck. She had him by the balls. He wasn't going down without getting the last word in.

"Fine. Great. Whatever you say, _instructor_."

Quistis closed her eyes at the word and took in a deep breath. She leaned forward and pressed _play_.

"Once you followed Edea, what happened after that?"

Seifer sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "It was like teleportation or some shit, I don't know. We ended up in the Presidential Palace in Deling City. There was already a brigade of Galbadian soldiers waiting for us. Apparently the President had taken matters into his own hands after the Dollet invasion and before the TV announcement, overriding the senate and General Caraway and giving Edea full command of the army."

"And she gave you a battalion?"

"She pretty much transferred the responsibility to me. Even General Caraway was supposed to take orders from me." He grinned darkly. "He didn't take the news very well, since I was his daughter's scumbag ex-boyfriend."

Quistis blinked, reminded of the fact that he used to date Rinoa. She cleared her throat. "Did you know about the orders to assassinate Matron – I mean – Edea?"

Seifer's expression grew stony. "No. I didn't."

"So, hang on…let's back up…Edea put you in charge of the military…but General Caraway orchestrated her assassination."

"That's correct."

"Were you aware that the orders for Edea's assassination came from Balamb Garden?"

"No, not at the time."

"Were you aware that there was a SeeD team operating in the vicinity, the night of the parade?"

"Yes, I was."

Quistis glanced up. "How did you know?"

"Is this still part of my psycho-whatchamacalit, Trepe, or are you just curious?"

Quistis rolled her eyes, but decided against stopping the recorder. "A little of both, actually. I need to know what events transpired that night, and you need to tell me your experiences, so yes. I'm curious."

Seifer shrugged. "I knew because two couriers from Balamb Garden – Fujin and Raijin – were sent by Cid so I could update him on my mission status. They told me that they saw you guys – Leonhart's team – in Galbadia Garden, after transferring a message to Martine. I pretty much figured it out from there."

Quistis nodded, remembering how Squall told her about his conversation with Fujin and Raijin. They didn't know Seifer was undercover until much later, but they essentially delivered intelligence back and forth from Seifer to Cid.

"I didn't know it was supposed to be an assassination mission, though, until I saw Squall and…what's his name…Kinneas…in the crowd. I saw them from on top of the parade float." He glanced at Quistis. "And then, when we started to pass under the gate, I saw you."

Quistis blinked. "You did not."

"Did too." He flashed her a small grin. "You were staring at me from that tiny little observation window. You need to learn how to be a little more discreet on missions, Trepe."

Truth be told, she was frozen in place and couldn't tear her eyes away from the horrible scene.

_Seifer Almasy. He's alive. Alive, and standing by her side. It can't be._

"_When do I pull the switch?!" Zell hissed._

_Quistis craned her neck forward. The float was almost out of sight._

"_Quistis!"_

"_Ssh! Not yet!"_

_That couldn't have been him. There's no way it could have been him. It's impossible. I'm imagining things._

"_Quistis?"_

"_Wait…"_

_That wasn't Seifer. But…there was definitely a tall blonde standing there in a grey trench coat with a long sword…_

_No…no, oh Hyne, no…_

"_Quistis? Talk to me!"_

"_Now! Pull the switch!"_

"I saw Kinneas and I saw Squall, so I figured you guys would be lurking around somewhere," Seifer shrugged. "When our float reached the archway, I glanced up and saw movement."

_Seifer watched Edea out of the corner of his eye. She was glaring at the cheering crowds in the street, eyes narrowed, expressionless._

_He swallowed and glanced around, pretending to scour the masses for traitors or outbursts or protestors, trying to figure out why in the hell Squall was in town with someone else he didn't recognize._

_Unless they're here to help me extract Matron._

_But in public?_

_The scuffle in the TV station pretty much taught him to stay away from anything involving civilians. Too messy. Too many witnesses. Too many dumbasses blurting out names._

_It was dangerous. Innocent civilians could get caught in the fray, then it would turn hazardous. SeeDs were smarter than that. Hell, even Cid was smarter than that. He wouldn't risk any harm to his wife…_

_Seifer glanced up at the approaching archway, then back down to stare ahead at their route, then did a double-take._

_Movement._

_Was that…Quistis?_

_His heart leapt. _

_She's okay!_

…_What the fuck is she doing up there?_

_Suddenly, his adrenaline surged in warning. There were only a few reasons a SeeD would take a position up there. To snipe. To ambush. Or to tamper with something._

_Either way, the outcome wouldn't be good._

_Seifer looked around. _

_They are. They're here for Matron. They're going to do it in public. They're going to try to help me…_

_Wait. Leonhart and the other kid were back towards the Presidential palace. Why would they split up, if they were trying to take Matron back?_

_Something clicked in Seifer's head. _

_There's two teams. Two teams. Team A…Team B. What the shit did Quistis say in class about two small SeeD units?_

_One acts in conjunction with the other, or one causes a diversion while the other executes a plan. Subsequent pincer attack._

_Squall and the other guy could be the diversion…but no…there's Galbadian soldiers all over the place…Edea's too protected…it won't do them much good to stay there…unless the other team causes the diversion…_

_Who's the stranger?_

_An outsider…unlikely to be a civilian…is he from Galbadia Garden? Outside help is usually due to expertise…Squall is with him…Squall's a gunblade specialist…what's the other guy an expert in?_

_Communications? No, everyone knows how to do that…_

_Explosives? Not likely…but it would explain the diversion…_

_Magic…? No…_

_Hotwiring…computer programming…hacking…no…_

_Sharp-shooting…_

_Oh, shit._

_At exactly 2000 hours, a stupid little merry-go-round spouting confetti and music would pop out of the roof of the Presidential palace…_

_That's a perfect fucking spot for a sniper. Hell, I'd go there._

_But she can't die. She's not supposed to be harmed…what the fuck are they trying to pull?_

_He glanced up at the top of the archway again. He knew it was her. Quistis was staring back down at him._

_Almost on cue, they passed under the brick construct and the black gates sprung down, slamming into the concrete with a loud clang. The float stopped as it rammed into the gate._

_2000 hours._

_Edea stood up, her eyebrows furrowing. "What is this?"_

"_SeeDs!" Seifer barked, readying Hyperion. "Shield yourself!"_

"You warned her about the sniper?" Quistis asked him.

Seifer sighed. "Yeah."

"Even though the order came from Balamb?"

Seifer scowled. "I didn't know it came from Balamb at the time. Besides, I knew Cid wouldn't do something like that, especially since he sent me to get her back in the first place. He told me that she wasn't to be harmed, so I followed orders. I had no choice. Besides, it was a phony order from the start. You know that."

"Yeah, I know."

There was a pause.

"That's really impressive you were able to deduct that much information in that short of time, Seifer," Quistis said with an eyebrow raised.

"Surprised a dumb brute like me is capable of that, eh?" Seifer grinned meanly.

"That's not what I meant," she glared at him. "Don't twist my words around. You're a brute, yeah, but you're not dumb."

Seifer seemed to think about her reply, shrugged, and replied, "I didn't have much time to think about anything, really. I just acted."

Quistis examined him, licked her lips, and tapped her pen against her leg. She felt hesitant to ask…but…

"Do you think it would have been better if the assassination was successful?"

She felt terrible for asking, but it was something she'd asked herself from time to time. She felt horrible for Matron…but would it have been better in the long run? The chain of events that followed – Trabia, the G-Garden conflict, the Lunar Cry – were all because of the failed assassination attempt. Weren't they?

Seifer grit his teeth and stared at the floor, mulling over the question. After another long pause, he replied, "No."

Quistis looked up at him. "Why not?"

"Because that wouldn't have stopped Ultimecia. We would have killed our mother and Ultimecia still would've had free reign over anyone's mind. I think, in the end, it would have made things worse."

"Free reign?" Quistis furrowed her brows.

"Odine told me that Ultimecia was capable of jumping around," Seifer replied.

"But I thought she was only capable of doing that through other sorceresses," Quistis pointed out.

Seifer held up his hands. "Hey, man, he's the scientist. That's what he said, so I listened. Besides, Adel was still floating out in space. Ultimecia could've gone back to her."

Quistis slowly nodded. _Good point._ She suddenly glanced up at him.

"When did you talk to Odine?"

"I went to Esthar after crashing Galbadia Garden."

_Oh, yeah. He disappeared after that…and…_

"You're skipping ahead, Trepe," Seifer stretched.

"Oh. Right. So, Ultimecia wouldn't have been stopped if we would have been successful in assassinating Mat…er...the possessed sorceress Edea…" Quistis thought out loud. "Yeah. You're right. I guess it's good that the mission didn't work, then. Cid always did say there was a reason for everything. Fate...he always said..."

_Liberi fatali._

Seifer stood up, went over to Quistis's mini fridge, and helped himself to a bottle of water. She shook her head and decided to ignore the fact that he was practically taking over her dorm room. With a sigh, she pulled her glasses out of her shirt pocket, put them on, and examined her notebook. "Hmm…I've been wanting to ask you about Caraway and Martine. Did they know you were undercover?"

Seifer took a gulp of water and sat down again. "Yeah. On the day I left for Timber, Cid sent a correspondence to Martine. They were gathering intelligence on Vinzer Deling anyway, since he was running amok without the consent of the senate, and then of course the whole Dollet invasion sorta pissed off a few countries. Martine was working closely with Caraway and sent a bunch of updates to Cid. So when Cid put me on my mission, he told Martine, and Martine told Caraway."

"Then why did they go ahead with the assassination orders, if they had talked to Cid?"

"The assassination orders came later. Besides, they talked to Cid about _me_, but not about _Matron_," Seifer corrected her. "They knew that I was an undercover SeeD trying to gather more information about the sorceress. Cid didn't tell them that Edea was his wife."

"Oh."

"So, when they got orders about the assassination, they went along with it, no questions asked. Of course, Cid didn't know about the whole thing until later." Seifer shook his head and chuckled bitterly. "Fucking Shumi. I'm glad I wasn't around to witness that mess."

Quistis nodded. "Me too."

"You weren't there?"

"I stayed behind with Selphie and Irvine to try to scramble the missile coordinates."

"Oh, so you guys _did_ figure it out."

Quistis blinked. "Figure what out?"

"I tried to tell Squall the plan about the missiles. Figured you guys would manage to bust out of the D-district prison and intercept the missiles in time." He gave her a nasty grin. "So, it wasn't _entirely_ my fault that Trabia got blown to pieces."

Quistis narrowed her eyes. "That isn't fair, Seifer."

"Who said life was fair, Trepe?"

"Are you even the _least_ bit sorry for what you did?"

"Isn't this getting a little bit off track here?" Seifer cocked a head towards the recorder.

Quistis lunged forward and slammed the _stop_ button. "Hundreds of Trabian students died, Seifer. They're _dead_. It used to be Selphie's home, and considering the circumstances, you're lucky she has an endless amount of patience and good heart to be willing to even _slightly_ forgive you."

Anger flashed in Seifer's green eyes as he sat forward and jabbed a finger at her. "Don't _remind_ me what I did, Trepe. I _know_ what I've done. Shit, it's not like I obeyed the orders with a smile on my fucking face. I didn't even _set_ the fucking coordinates, Trepe. You know what? I wasn't even _at_ the base because I was busy trying to subdue a crazy sorceress from murdering _hundreds_ _more_ innocent civilians and from finding Ellone, not to mention trying to make sure she didn't attempt to kill you guys behind my fucking back. _On Edea's orders_, the Galbadian soldiers had set the coordinates. _On Edea's orders_, the Galbadian soldiers pressed the fucking button. I _deliberately_ let four SeeDs and a sharpshooter out of prison after telling the _fearless_ _leader_ what Edea was planning. Am I _sorry_ for what I did? I did my _job_, Trepe. I did everything in my power to keep others safe. Apparently it wasn't good enough. Apparently I'm supposed to tell you how I wake up every morning, feeling sorry for the families of the dead Garden students of Trabia, that I have bad dreams of all the dead bodies littered about in the snow - "

Quistis rubbed her forehead, knowing she'd detonated another Seifer bomb. "Seifer, I'm sorry - "

"- that not a day goes by without me uttering a silent prayer for forgiveness for all the lives I've taken," Seifer scowled darkly. "Well, I _don't_. It was _war_, Trepe. Shit happens in war."

"I know - "

"I don't see you guys giving _Matron_ a bunch of crap for the shit she pulled. Do you even _want_ to know what I went through, or are you doing this because you have to get it out of the way?" Seifer narrowed his eyes. "You said earlier you're not here to pass judgment. Uh, I beg to differ. Sounds to me you're doing this because you have some sort of personal fucking vendetta, and it's turning into a fucking _witch_ hunt - " he snorted, "- no pun intended - "

"Seifer - "

" - and if this is really supposed to be helping me, it's not working. You're doing a piss poor job."

Quistis glared at him, visibly hurt. "Look, I overreacted, and I apologize. I _am_ supposed to be helping you, and instead of listening, I tried to chastise you. I need to constantly remind myself what you had to go through…and if I've said anything to upset you…I'm…I'm sorry."

They stared at each other for a long moment until Seifer's scowl finally turned neutral. He shrugged. "It's in your nature, I guess."

"What is?"

"To nag."

Quistis gritted her teeth and emitted an exasperated sigh as she grabbed Seifer's water bottle from the coffee table and took a drink. After all, it was _her_ water, damn it. She plunked it back down, expecting a brash comment about cooties or disease or poisonous venom, but Seifer remained silent. Instead, he regarded her with smug amusement. She ignored him and pressed the _play_ button once again.

"So…"

"So."

"Martine and Caraway had knowledge that you were undercover?"

"That's correct, instructor."

Quistis jutted her jaw out at him and made an effort to ignore the nickname. "If General Caraway was supposed to take orders from you, why didn't he tell you about the assassination plot?"

Seifer shrugged. "Probably lots of reasons. He didn't want to risk contacting me, or he had a grudge against me, or he figured I didn't need to know, or he's just an asshole and wanted to be in control of the whole thing…hell, I don't know."

"What about after the failed attempt? Did Edea ever suspect him?"

"I never really talked to him directly, but I'm sure he laid low after that," Seifer replied. "Edea was too obsessed with the SeeDs and Ellone to worry about him anyway."

"All right," Quistis glanced down at her notes. "Let's go back to Martine, then. He knew you were undercover the minute Cid put you on your mission?"

"I _told_ you this, Trepe."

"I just want to make sure."

"Yes. He knew."

Quistis thought back on the day they'd all arrived at Galbadia Garden.

"_Quistis, his offenses were too great to be overlooked by the senate…or the president," Martine replied grimly. "Vinzer Deling isn't one to be trifled with. Almasy angered the Galbadian government, and if they didn't have him to blame, they'd be after Balamb Garden. You know that."_

_Quistis nodded and swallowed, even though her throat had gone completely dry. "So…what was the verdict?" She felt her heart sinking quickly, dreading the answer._

_Marine sighed. "Guilty on all charges. He was executed early this morning by firing squad."_

_Quistis took two steps back and gasped. "Executed?? He's…he's dead? They killed him?"_

"_The jury's decision was unanimous," Martine nodded sadly. "I know he was a student of yours, Quistis. I apologize."_

"Martine told me that you were executed. Obviously it was a lie."

"It was to cover Garden's ass," Seifer replied darkly.

"So…were Martine and Caraway the ones who staged the mock-execution after Timber?"

Seifer chuckled. "Yeah. Although, I didn't know I was supposed to be dead until later. I had no clue they did that."

_No wonder it all happened so fast, _Quistis thought._ No trial on the face of this planet would take under twenty-four hours._

"Nobody arrested you after Timber?"

"Hell, no. Like I said, after leaving the TV station, we arrived at the Presidential palace. Edea gave me control of the Galbadian army and we started making preparations for the parade and for…for the invasion of other provinces."

"Why did the Galbadian government fake your execution?"

"Vinzer Deling was an asshole, that's why. After leaving Timber, he went straight to the magistrate and demanded that I be arrested and executed. This was, of course, before he knew I was leading his army and that Edea had assigned me to be her right hand man. She was pretty pissed off at him for crying to the officials without her consent, so when he got back to the Presidential palace she killed him. Well…she said he could make the announcement to the people about her being appointed as the ambassador, and _then_ she killed him."

"So, nobody tried to arrest you or bring you to court?"

"Nope. Deling was an idiot, but the senate saw through him. Remember, the senate didn't like Deling. Knew he was crooked. Since Caraway receives political information on a daily basis and reports to the senators, my name came up. Since he knew I was undercover, and since he and Martine also obviously saw me on TV, they wanted to keep the situation as quiet as possible. Caraway told the Senate he'd take care of it. Therefore, the senate didn't have to do anything, Deling was happy, and Caraway – with Martine's help – protected Garden by putting out fake reports of my trial and execution."

Quistis thought back on Martine's news of Seifer's execution, and how she wept silently in the hallway shortly afterwards.

_I never would have imagined he'd be sitting across from me right now._

"Did you yahoos jump for joy when you heard that I was dead?" Seifer asked sarcastically.

Quistis glanced at him. There was a long pause.

He gave her a bitter sneer. "You did, didn't you?"

She slowly reached forward and turned off the recorder. "No," she replied quietly. "In fact, it was quite the opposite. We were all very upset."

"Upset that you didn't get front row seats?"

Quistis made a fist around her pen and hit the chair with it. "No, Seifer! Hyne, why do you always think the worst of us? You were family!"

Seifer remained silent.

"Although, I have to admit, your actions that day in the TV station were more than rash and just plain stupid for a SeeD," Quistis continued, garnering a hard glare from him, "but we didn't feel that you deserved to die. Hyne, I thought…"

She stopped herself. If she told him, he'd laugh at her.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing," she looked away.

He furrowed his brow. "You thought what?"

"Nothing. It doesn't matter."

Seifer snorted. "You wouldn't have brought it up if it doesn't matter, Trepe."

"I'm dropping it, so quit asking."

"Too late. You thought what?"

"I thought it was my fault," Quistis admitted with a sigh, not meeting his gaze and crossing her arms. "I wasn't able to stop you in Timber. I blamed myself for your execution."

Seifer regarded her with a few blinks, but the snide comments didn't come.

_Did she cry?_

"Squall was the most upset out of everyone, I think," Quistis added quietly with a small smile. "He stormed out of the room."

Seifer's eyebrows shot up. _Leonhart?_

"And Zell talked about getting revenge."

_This wasn't right. _"Chicken-wuss?!"

Quistis grinned and nodded. "Believe it."

"No, you've gotta be lying."

"I swear. Ask him yourself." She paused. "No, maybe not. He'll never admit it."

"I don't believe you."

"Seifer, why would I lie about something like that?"

He narrowed his eyes and grinned, seeing an opening. "Hmm. You _are_ a shitty liar."

Quistis rolled her eyes. "So there you have it. I'm telling the truth. We did not 'jump for joy,' as you put it, over the news of your execution."

Seifer went in for the kill. "Did you cry, Trepe?"

She blinked at him.

His grin widened. "Did you?"

"Seifer, I…" she looked away and shrugged. "I don't remember."

"Bullshit," he leaned back, savoring the victory. "You cried."

"Did not."

"Did too.

"Did not!"

"Liar."

With a frustrated groan, she took off her glasses and looked up at the ceiling. "Ohhh, who cares?! What are we, five years old? Hyne, whose evaluation is this, yours or mine?" Quistis snapped heatedly.

Seifer held up his hands in mock defeat, still smiling. "My apologies, instructor."

_Ooooohhhh!!!!! _Quistis seethed. Her nostrils flared and she gave him an angry glare.

"Maybe this therapy thing isn't so terrible after all," Seifer grinned. "I'm already starting to feel better."

"What a shock, seeing as how it's always at my expense," Quistis grumbled.

"C'mon, Trepe. I'm flattered to know that you mourned over me."

Quistis narrowed her eyes at him. "Only for a few minutes, give or take. We were _quite_ pressed for time; I hope you can understand."

His eyes twinkled at her jab, knowing she was fibbing.

"I'm _sure_ you'd do the same for me," Quistis added sarcastically, glancing down at her notes and putting her glasses back on.

He didn't reply, but she missed his expression, which had turned from michievious to somber at the thought of her words.

There were plenty of times he had angered himself sick at the thought of seeing her lifeless form. Her coffin. Her grave.

He clenched his jaw and sat forward to grab the water bottle and take a drink. After swallowing, he licked his lips and glanced down at the mouth of the bottle. His thoughts immediately traveled to Quistis's lips…and the banana…

_Hyne. Not again._

"Next question," he cleared his throat.

Quistis sighed and shook her head, hiding her hurt feelings. _Why am I not surprised?_ "Didn't think so."

He looked up at her and blinked, suddenly realizing what he'd just replied to. Before he could open his mouth to speak, however, she adjusted her glasses, reached forward to turn on the recorder, and glared at him.

_Uh-oh. I'm in trouble now._

"Tell me about the fight," she said in a flat voice.

Seifer narrowed his eyes. "Which one?"

"I'll get to all of them. But for now, the one on the parade float. You were expecting us to reveal ourselves after Edea stopped the bullet, right?"

Seifer shrugged.

"Were you purposely trying to hurt us?" Quistis asked rigidly.

_Here it is._

He emitted a loud sigh and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, Trepe. I meant every fucking magic spell I tossed out at you guys, and I wanted to skewer Squall on my gunblade. Happy?"

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "I want you to be truthful, Seifer - "

"Then why would you even ask me a question like that, Trepe?" he growled back. "Did I do it on purpose? What the fuck do _you_ think? If I wanted to hurt you on purpose, some of you would probably be _dead_."

Quistis didn't reply.

"Maybe you were too busy trying to attack _me_ that you didn't catch it," Seifer spat nastily, "but I went after Squall. Always Squall. He and I trained together, for Hyne's sake. He knew my moves. I knew he could ward me off."

There was a long pause.

"Each and every single time we went up against you…you lost…" Quistis started.

"I didn't lose," Seifer narrowed his eyes.

"Then you faked it?"

"I'd let you guys give me a beating, yeah. Then I'd back down."

"_Nice moves, instructor," Seifer snarled. He glanced down at his arm, which had just been split open from her whip. He looked back up at her and sneered. "Good thing to see you haven't completely gone to waste as a SeeD. What else you got? Huh?"_

_Quistis clenched her teeth and balled her fists in anger._

"_Don't you fucking talk to her!" Zell bellowed._

"_What are you going to do about it, chicken-wuss?" Seifer mocked._

_Zell responded by giving him a roundhouse kick to the ribcage, which Seifer hadn't blocked in time. The air around him flashed briefly with a pale blue light upon impact, then was gone. Even though he'd cast protect, it was evident they were wearing Seifer down. He was bleeding from the corner of his mouth and hadn't yet cured his arm. Blood had started to drip down from it onto his gloved hand, which trailed onto the handle of the gunblade. Ignoring his wounds, Seifer lunged towards Squall and brought his gunblade down. With an angry grunt, Squall blocked the strike and retaliated with a swing of his own. Seifer countered and stepped back, pulling the trigger and following up with another orange slash. Squall blocked again and shoved him backwards. Seifer stumbled back and hesitated, catching his breath. He slowly sank to one knee and dug the tip of the sword into the ground, using it to prop himself up._

"_Not bad, Leonhart. I won't go so easy on you next time."_

_Squall glared at him angrily, breathing hard. "There won't be a next time, Seifer."_

Quistis licked her lips. "But you were outnumbered. It was always at least three-to-one. Weren't you afraid that we'd severely hurt you?"

Seifer set his jaw and looked away. "Nah."

Quistis glared at him. "The truth, Seifer."

Seifer set his piercing gaze on her. "Honestly, Trepe? I never had that much time to think about it. I was too busy protecting Matron."

"So you fought us to protect her?"

Seifer glared at her. "Why else?"

"Why not just stay out of the way and let us go straight to her?"

"I wanted to wear you all out a bit so you wouldn't have enough energy to flat-out kill her. Besides, Matron…Edea…when she was possessed, she'd never come out to fight you first," Seifer looked away. "She always sent me instead. I don't know why. For a lot of reasons, I guess. To see how I'd do. To watch. I don't know…she was sick. And I guess…maybe a part of me wanted to believe that deep down, Matron was trying to get us all together again. Like she was still crying out for help." Seifer snorted and shrugged. "In a fucked up, roundabout way."

"Why didn't you just tell us about her, and that way we could have tried to help you?"

Seifer curled a lip at her. "Are you _kidding?_ Seriously…was that a real question Trepe?"

Quistis narrowed her eyes.

"You all had the GF amnesia," Seifer motioned with his hand. "You also thought I was nuts. I couldn't exactly take you all on a fucking trip down memory lane, could I? You wouldn't have remembered Matron."

Quistis sighed. "No…I suppose not."

"I can see it now," Seifer chuckled bitterly. "'Hey, guys, let's not fight! Let's all talk about the orphanage! Remember Matron? Remember how she made fresh sugar cookies for us when it rained outside? Remember how we used to pitch tents out of her fresh sheets? Yeah, well, that's her right there. She's here to kill you, by the way.'" Seifer shook his head. "_That_ would have worked out."

Quistis smiled, regardless of his anger. "She did make sugar cookies whenever it rained, didn't she?"

"I don't know why she did that," he grumbled. "Giving kids a bunch of sugar when they're already cooped up and stir-crazy wasn't the best of ideas."

Quistis automatically looked out the window. She constantly craved the sweet smell of sugar cookies every time it rained. No wonder. She never hated storms, either. In fact, she always welcomed them since she'd associated them with a warm, cozy feeling.

"Maybe Matron just wanted us to enjoy the rain, not dread it," she replied softly.

Seifer watched her as she gazed out the window. The way she looked so peaceful as she reminisced about the fucking sugar cookies. The way her white button-up shirt v-necked and how he could glimpse part of her collarbone as she glanced sideways. The way her profile looked. The way he could see the thin muscle of her neck as she looked in that direction. The way she seemed happy again. The way her blue eyes seemed to mist over.

There was a long pause. Quistis turned her attention to him and noticed that he was staring at her. She immediately looked down and cleared her throat, pretending to look at her notes, even though there wasn't anything important she'd written.

"Um…"

Seifer hid a smirk.

"Uh…so…" Quistis cleared her throat again. "What about in the D-district prison?"

"What about it?"

Quistis narrowed her eyes. "You tortured Squall."

Seifer gave her the smallest grin. "I gave him a couple of jolts, yeah."

"Why?"

"Why not?"

She set her jaw and glared at him. "_Tell_ me you didn't do it on purpose?"

"I didn't do it on purpose."

She removed her glasses and pinched the bridge of her nose. "You're incorrigible."

Seifer didn't reply, but he didn't remove his smug smirk.

"You put Squall in a separate solitary cell," Quistis tapped her pen against her notebook. "Why?"

"For one, he was seriously injured. I had him transferred there so his wound could be taken care of. I didn't want a whole lot of Galbadian soldiers sniffing around, either, so I kept him in solitary so I could deal with him myself. For two, I knew he was in charge of the team, so I had to get him alone so I could _question_ him - " Seifer made quotation signs with his fingers, "and tell him, without raising any suspicion, about Edea's next move."

Quistis glanced at him. "Who healed Squall's wound?"

"My cura spell stopped the bleeding at the parade, but a prison doctor took a look at him once he got there." Seifer paused. "He was pretty fucked up. Punctured a lung, tore up his ribcage…broken collarbone…damn near hit his heart. He's lucky to be alive."

_Seifer exited the large humvee and strode into the D-district prison angrily. His cross expression warned a few of the Galbadian soldiers to stay out of his way, and he wordlessly motioned for the medics to follow him. They removed Squall, who was unconscious and lying on a stretcher, and brought him inside._

_Seifer turned towards a guard. "Where's the medlab?"_

"_Right down there, sir."_

_They headed towards the medical quarters and Seifer was the first to run into a doctor._

"_Did you get my transmission?"_

"_Yes. I have a table ready. Bring him in here."_

_They carried Squall into a small examination room. Squall's left arm had dropped off the stretcher and dangled down when they transferred him to the cot. His bandages were already starting to soak through and a trail of dark blood ran down his arm and dripped from his fingers._

"_That's all," Seifer nodded towards the soldiers. "Transfer the rest of the prisoners."_

"_Yes, sir."_

_The doctor picked up Squall's arm and placed it back onto the cot, then he began to cut away at the bandages to examine him. A few drops of blood had splashed onto the floor and a Moomba, representing a tiny lion with a firery red mane, crept up to lick a drop. It immediately let out a surprised growl and trotted up to Squall's cot, hopping up and down excitedly and letting out a noise that sounded like a cross between a bark and a squeaky toy._

"_What the hell…?" Seifer glanced down at the little orange-and-red creature._

"_They work here. Pay them no mind."_

_The Moomba started pawing at Seifer's leg. It uttered a small growl, a squeak, and then sat down and looked up at him expectantly and let out a strange purr._

_Srrrrr. Srrrrrr!_

_Seifer nudged it with his boot. "Beat it. Go away."_

_The Moomba ignored him and turned his head up towards Squall's cot._

_The doctor shook his head and sighed. Seifer glanced up._

"_So?"_

_The doctor glared at Seifer. "He'll need surgery and some extensive curaga therapy, although I don't understand why you want him healed if you people are just going to turn right around and kill him - "_

"_I need your expert opinion," Seifer snapped, "not your fucking personal opinion. Like it or not, you work for me now. I want him healthy and in tip-top shape. You get me, doc?"_

_The doctor continued to glare at him but said nothing._

_Seifer crossed his arms. "How long will it take?"_

_The doctor sighed. "A few days. Maybe more."_

_Seifer cocked his head towards Squall before stalking off. "Fix him."_

"And you tortured him after they patched him up." Quistis glared at him. It was more of an accusation than a question.

Seifer stared at her coldly. "Look, I didn't want to do it, okay? I'm not _that_ fucking sadistic. Although Edea wasn't there, I couldn't risk it. I couldn't give Squall special treatment. Galbadian soldiers were watching me. I had to stage an interrogation so I could talk to him about what the fuck was going on." He narrowed his eyes and gave her a smug grin. "Think of it as Squall taking one for the team."

Quistis sighed. "What about us? Why didn't you torture any of us? Wouldn't that have made it more realistic?"

Seifer set his jaw.

_I couldn't torture you._

Quistis looked at him and waited for an answer.

"_Even if you don't talk," Seifer shrugged, "others will. The instructor…the little messenger girl…or that Chicken-wuss." He let out a dark chuckle. "He wouldn't even last three seconds!"_

"_They're all here?" Squall lifted his head, glaring at Seifer with a mixture of dread and anger._

_Seifer narrowed his eyes at him. "Oh, you bet. But since I like you so much, I thought you should go first. I was hoping you'd be there, Squall. So…how'd I look in my moment of triumph?"_

_Squall glared at him and curled a lip, struggling to keep his eyes open._

"_My childhood dream, fulfilled," Seifer raised Hyperion. "I've become the sorceress's knight."_

_Squall dropped his head and grumbled something._

"_You're……nngghh…just…"_

_Seifer stepped closer and cocked his ear towards him. "What did you say?"_

"…_a torturer…"_

"Seifer?"

Seifer glanced up. Quistis was looking at him expectantly. He averted his gaze and shrugged. "No need. I made a threat. That was good enough."

"What do you mean?"

Seifer glanced up at her. "I mentioned your names to Squall. Let him know what was at stake."

"You informed him that we were all in custody," Quistis repeated. "That way, he'd know we were present if he wanted to attempt a breakout. Correct?"

"Pretty much, yeah," Seifer shrugged. "Hearing your names also gave him some initiative. He didn't want any of you to be harmed. I said that to get his ass moving."

Quistis blinked. "Really?"

"Yeah. Why?"

Quistis shrugged. "I don't know…it's just that…SeeDs aren't supposed to react emotionally. If comrades are detained in a hostage situation, torture or any other means of extracting information shouldn't affect the job. Including threatening teammates."

Seifer rolled his eyes. "Go ahead and tell yourself that, Trepe. You told me not so long ago on the balcony that you felt _something_."

Quistis flushed. "I just meant that…Squall isn't the type to react to that sort of thing…"

"Yeah he is," Seifer rolled his eyes. "It's just hard to tell."

Quistis blinked, surprised that Seifer would admit to knowing Squall like that.

He glanced up at her. "Besides…he was a fresh SeeD. Everyone was, except for you. He was still wet behind the ears."

Quistis grinned at him. "But so were you."

"I learned quick," he replied darkly.

She looked down and nodded. "So…you needed Squall alone to tell him the plan…inadvertently…?"

"That's correct, instructor."

Quistis slammed her pen into the notebook and ignored the recording machine. "For Hyne's sake, Seifer, stop calling me that."

"Why?"

"Because it bothers me, that's why!"

"But you're an instructor."

"I got fired from the position, Seifer. Besides, I'm not _your_ instructor anymore."

"But you've been rehired."

"It was a move out of pity."

"So? You accepted the job. Therefore, you're still an instructor."

Quistis narrowed her eyes at him. "I suppose you can't attempt to call me by my real name?"

Seifer grinned. "Why should I?"

She bit the inside of her cheek and breathed in through her nostrils. "You know what? Whatever. I don't care."

Seifer grinned wider and crossed his arms. "I didn't think so, _Trepe_."

Quistis narrowed her eyes. "Where was I?"

"You were pissing and moaning about being called instructor."

"I mean _before_ that, Seifer."

"You were pissing and moaning about me torturing your precious Squall."

_Ooooooooooooooooooh!!!!!!!!!!!!!_ Quistis put a hand to her forehead. "Stop being an asshole for _just_…_one_…_second_…and let me think!!!!"

"D-district prison," Seifer said with a chuckle.

She glared at him. "D-district prison. Why was Irvine transferred to a separate cell?"

"He was the sharpshooter. He was actually sentenced to die first, so he was thrown in solitary."

"What about Rinoa? I remember that the guards took her away and she showed up with Irvine later. Do you know why?"

Seifer remained silent as he looked away and thought back to that day.

There was a long pause.

"Seifer?"

Seifer's eyes darted to Quistis's cheek, clenched his jaw, then he looked away again.

"Were you aware of the order that Rinoa was to be removed?" Quistis repeated the question.

Seifer nodded curtly. "Yeah. I was the one who gave the order."

_What a mess._

_As soon as the humvee pulled up to the prison, Quistis, Selphie, Zell, Rinoa, and Irvine were being processed and transferred to a large lift that was hovering in the middle of the gigantic complex. Spanning the abyss below was a thin metal bridge that connected the outer rim of the walkways to the lift in the middle, which the prisoners were now headed. Seifer was watching the prisoner transfer off in the shadows, where he couldn't be seen or bothered. He had been wracking his brain on how in the hell to get the Balamb SeeDs out of the D-district prison without alerting Edea or looking like a turncoat._

_This would have been a whole hell of a lot easier if those fucking retards didn't get caught. Good job, Squall. Yet another botched mission. Hyne, you suck at this whole SeeD thing so far._

_When Squall woke up, he'd let the stupid ass have it simply for his incompetence._

_Seifer was beginning to get on edge. They weren't any closer towards helping Matron, and to make matters worse, there were now two additional members of the party who were involved, and they weren't even SeeDs. As though he didn't have enough to deal with, Edea was now screaming and bitching about exterminating every SeeD in the universe._

_Awesome._

_Think. Think. How the fuck can I get them out….without raising massive suspsicion?_

_First off, Squall needed time to heal._

_On top of that, he had another problem._

_Rinoa. _

_What the fuck was she doing with them, anyway?_

_Laughter drew his attention towards the thin metal bridge. Quistis was the first one being ushered forward into the lift, and the guards were chortling at her._

"_You're a pretty one, aren't you?" a soldier laughed as he pushed Quistis forward. "How'd a hot little thing like you end up being a SeeD?" _

"_Hey, baby, I'll plant a seed in your garden," another Galbadian soldier said, garnering laughter from his fellow comrades._

_The guard ushering Quistis from behind reached up and touched her hair. "Mm, it still smells like flowers…"_

"_Don't touch me!" she snapped and pulled away._

"_Oo, feisty, too," he grinned as a few other soldiers started laughing. "How about I come up to visit your cell later, eh?" He grabbed her by her cuffed wrists and pulled her backwards, whispering something in her ear. Suddenly, her head whipped backwards and connected squarely with his nose, then she swired around and kicked a knee into his groin. The soldier doubled over in pain and two additional soldiers ran up to restrain her again._

"_That's enough. This way."_

"_Wait," the hurt soldier, now stumbling back up with one hand on his nose and one hand on his groin, limped over to Quistis. Without warning, he suddenly backhanded her across the face._

"_Bitch!"_

_Quistis remained silent, but turned her head to glare back at him, not displaying any signs of pain or fear. A bright red splotch began to blossom up around her cheekbone._

"_Take her away," he grunted, rubbing his face. "I'll deal with her later."_

_The two guards pushed Quistis toward the lift and continued to transfer the rest of the SeeDs. Selphie was next, followed by more belligerent catcalls._

_Seifer had been watching from the shadows, and his knuckles were white from gripping the hilt of his gunblade. The murderous glare on his face remained unnoticed by the nearby soldiers as they went about their business, and Seifer found himself struggling to calm down, lest he end up murdering half the Galbadian army. The blade of his weapon was already glowing a deep orange. Fire Cross was ready to burst forth. He swallowed the surging hatred and adrenaline back down. His jaw was already sore from clenching it so tight. Letting out a few deep breaths through his nose, Seifer waited until the burning heat from the gunblade ebbed away and the boiling hatred in his gut simmered back down, until he slowly stepped forward to speak to a nearby guard dressed in red._

"_Lieutenant."_

"_Sir?"_

_Seifer motioned for him to come forward. He narrowed his eyes at the rest of the prisoners, being led single-file, across the thin metal bridge. Zell was after Selphie, shouting threats and obscenities at the soldiers if they touched the girls any more, and he was shoved forward roughly. Rinoa was next, and she meekly walked across the bridge with her head down._

_Seifer motioned to Rinoa._

"_Do you know who that is?"_

_The Galbadian soldier glanced over at the raven-haired girl. "Uh…no, sir?"_

_Seifer gritted his teeth and ran a hand through his hair. "That's General Caraway's daughter."_

_The soldier paled. "Wh-what?"_

_Seifer put his hands on his hips and remained silent, trying to think._

"_Wh-what do we do, sir? How do we tell the general without…" the soldier looked around and hushed his voice, leaning closer to Seifer, "…without angering the sorceress?"_

_Seifer bit the inside of his cheek and watched as the Galbadian soldiers ushered Rinoa into the lift and closed the door. They locked the hatch, pressed a switch, and the lift shot upwards, towards the jail cells. Irvine, who was next in line, was escorted to another lift that rose up in the other's place. _

_Shit. Think. _

_In any normal situation, captured SeeDs did not operate any rescue missions for other civilians accidentally caught in the fray. In any normal situation during a SeeD escape, Rinoa would most likely be left behind._

_The situation was far from normal, though._

"_I want her escorted out of here first thing tomorrow morning," Seifer replied. "Take her back to Deling City – make sure nobody sees her – and transfer her to the General's estate."_

"_But…but, sir…" he hesitated. "I mean no disrespect, sir, but if I'm seen…or my men…if Edea finds out…"_

"_I'll take full responsibility, soldier," Seifer sighed._

"_Sir, my unit is to depart for the missile base tomorrow."_

_Seifer glanced at him. "Hm…shit. I can't pull you off duty then…" He glanced back towards the lift and watched as the trench-coated stranger tried to smooth talk his way out of the situation to a Galbadian soldier, but he was ignored and shoved into the lift at gunpoint._

"_Him," Seifer suddenly pointed. "I want him to escort Caraway's daughter back."_

"_Sir?"_

"_Tomorrow morning, remove him from solitary and order him to take her," Seifer instructed the lieutenant. "Give him a shitty humvee and make him escort her back to Deling City."_

"_But…sir…just like that?"_

"_Just like that."_

"_Sir…he was the sniper, sir…and we're just going to let him go…? Sir, if Edea finds out, she'll - "_

"_She'll kill me, I know," Seifer interrupted in an annoyed tone. "Do I look like I give a fuck?"_

_The soldier remained silent._

"_Just do it, soldier. Threaten him with a life sentence if he doesn't comply. She's the general's daughter and he's a Galbadian citizen. I'm pretty sure he'll do what he's told."_

"_Should I provide a motorcade escort, sir?"_

"_No. Don't attract attention. Don't even send additional troops with them. Just let them loose."_

_The soldier blinked at him. "…Are you sure about this, sir?"_

_Seifer sighed. No._

_There was a long pause before he replied._

"_Just do it."_

"_Yes, sir."_

_The lieutenant turned to relay the orders to his men when Seifer stopped him._

"_Oh, and one more thing."_

"_Sir?"_

_Seifer motioned towards the guard that hit Quistis. "Tell him to come over here."_

"_Yes, sir."_

_After the guard was summoned, he removed his helmet, stepped up to Seifer, and saluted._

"_You wanted to see me, sir?"_

_Without a word, Seifer hauled back and punched him across the face. The blow was so hard that the soldier's head whipped sideways and spun his entire body off-kilter, causing him to fall over. He put his hands to his face and groaned out in pain. A few of the guards stopped what they were doing and watched the exchange in quiet surprise. Spitting blood, the guard looked up at Seifer in frightened confusion._

_Seifer sneered at him. "Hurts, doesn't it?"_

_The guard blinked._

"_I'm transferring your ass to sub-level," Seifer adjusted his gloves and flexed his punching hand. "Don't go anywhere near the new prisoners or I'll fucking kill you myself."_

_The guard remained frozen, staring up at Seifer in fear._

_Seifer glared down at him. "That's all. Now get the fuck out of my sight."_

"You're the one that let Rinoa go?" Quistis asked, surprised.

"Yup."

"Rinoa thought that her father was the one that had pulled the strings."

Seifer snorted. "Nah. Caraway had to lie low after the failed assassination, and he didn't even know that she was taken to the D-district prison until later. Fortunately for Rinoa, Edea was too obsessed with Ellone and the Gardens to deal with anything else. I let Rinoa out by telling the Galbadian soldiers who she was. They'd never jail Caraway's daughter."

"Why'd you choose Irvine, Seifer?"

"I knew he wasn't from Balamb. I also knew that he was the sniper. His gun was taken away and he virtually had no weapon on him when we let him loose. He wasn't a threat…snipers aren't anything without their guns."

Quistis remained silent.

"I didn't trust him, either," Seifer added. "I knew Squall and the rest of you guys would probably manage to bust out of there and try to disable the missiles, but I didn't want an outsider like him fucking it all up. Besides, Rinoa was a gigantic wrench in my gears. I wasn't expecting _her_ to tag along. Hyne. Knowing her, she'd probably press the fucking launch button on accident."

Quistis suppressed a smile and cleared her throat, chewing on her pen instead.

"So, I wanted to get them out of there. Rinoa would be safe back at her dad's, and Kinneas would…well…be free to go back to Galbadia Garden, I guess." Seifer rolled his eyes and snorted. "I didn't know they fucking turned back, though. Go figure."

"Apparently Rinoa had a talk with Irvine," Quistis smiled. "She's got some good persuasion skills."

"Yeah. She cheats. She fucking pinches."

Quistis raised an amused eyebrow. "Has she pinched you before?"

Seifer rolled his eyes. "Once, and only once. She knew better not to do it again. Pissed me off."

It was odd, thinking about how Seifer used to date Rinoa. How those two could have gotten along together…how they could have enjoyed each other's presence…how Rinoa would actually playfully _pinch_ Seifer…was just too strange.

_Hyne, if I tried to pinch Seifer, I'd probably get strangled._

Rinoa's relationship with Seifer was even odder than her relationship with Squall. It was almost unnerving…and it made Quistis wonder, more than once…

"Just what _is_ it about Rinoa?" she blurted out loud, not thinking.

Seifer blinked. "What?"

Quistis flushed, immediately ashamed. "Oh…er…I meant…never mind, forget it. I just…I was thinking out loud."

Seifer grinned and cocked his head. "What about her?"

"Nothing. I…I was just thinking."

"What, you were wondering why guys would want to nail a knockout like Rinoa?" Seifer crossed his arms and grinned maliciously, glad to have more ammunition to load and aim at Quistis.

Quistis swallowed and looked away. "No. Never mind. It's not an appropriate topic."

"I thought you wanted to delve into my ever-enigmatic psyche, instructor," Seifer took a swig of water out of the bottle.

"Not about your personal relationships," Quistis adjusted her glasses and avoided his gaze. "Besides, it's not my business, and we shouldn't be talking about Rinoa behind her back."

"You asked."

"It was a rhetorical question. I don't need an answer."

"Are you jealous, Trepe?"

She glared at him, although the question knocked her off guard. She should have seen it coming, and she did, but it was still a dreaded question because it was true. She _was_ jealous of Rinoa, and she knew she shouldn't be. Her jealousy made her feel guilty and immature and she knew it was unbecoming of a SeeD to harbor such petty thoughts. Yet…

Quistis knew her own qualities. She was smart. She was a mercenary. She could defend herself. She was pretty, or at least people kept telling her how beautiful she looked…

…maybe Trepies and Matron don't count…

…but still, it wasn't as if she was a total loss. Was she?

She'd never had a boyfriend before. She was always too busy. And then, of course, there was the war…

But Rinoa? No. Even during a war, Rinoa managed to snag a boyfriend. How in the hell did she do that? Was there anything special about Rinoa, besides her good looks and bubbly attitude?

Rinoa hated fighting. Rinoa hated war. She hated her dad, who was a General. Rinoa was practically the antithesis of Garden, yet she dated two SeeDs within the past two years.

How did she do it?

Quistis couldn't fucking figure it out for the life of her. And it drove her mad.

"Why would I be jealous?" she finally grumbled. "She dated _you_."

Seifer narrowed his eyes and grinned. "Yeah. Poor Rinoa."

There was a pause. Quistis tapped her pen against the notebook and shook her head, sighing in frustration, as she sat forward and turned off the recorder and hit the _rewind_ button.

Seifer watched her with amused interest but said nothing.

The reason he dated Rinoa was because, at the time, he was bored out of his fucking mind. He'd spent the summer travelling, trying to put his failed SeeD training to good use by helping out the small Timber resistance factions spread across the region of Galbadia. He'd hopped from group to group, testing the waters, trying to figure out whether or not their cause was worthy, and really all he got out of it was a lot of spent gil on weapons upgrades and booze. Hyne, Timber sucked.

One resistance faction tried to uncover the secrets of Vinzer Deling. How many mistresses did he have? Just how many illegitimate children did he father, and could they be held for ransom?

_What, were these people retarded?_

Another focused on raising money to achieve Timber's independence. At first, Seifer thought it was for military gain and was eager to help, but he came to find out it was in the name of peace and love. Resistance members went around spreading the Good Word and tossed flower petals around Galbadian soldiers.

_Fuck that._

Another resistance faction resorted to pulling pranks on Galbadian soldiers, like lighting bags full of wendigo shit on fire or throwing water balloons.

He actually threatened to kill the members of that faction. _Consider it a contribution to Timber_, he had sneered.

He about had it with the whole fiasco when he met two young men that had claimed they had a small train car. They were remodeling it to look just like a Galbadian escort and claimed that one day, they were going to use it to kidnap the president.

_Hmm. Promising._

On top of that, the third member of the faction was a girl. And she was hot. And she was the daughter of the Galbadian general.

_An interesting pursuit, indeed._

In the end, though, Seifer had found the summer break to be entertaining, at the least, but incredibly lacking. He had discovered that his training in Garden far surpassed anyone's skills in Timber and he got bored quickly. It was Rinoa who'd convinced him to stick around, claiming that they'd never had anyone's help from Garden before and they could do so much more with his aid. He couldn't help but feel important – for once – and he liked how Rinoa always looked up to him as if he were her knight in shining armor.

But the game got really old, really fast.

He'd never really consider their relationship to be exclusive, if it was even a relationship. Hell, he never really considered it to be _dating_, since he was only in Timber for a few months, but she was the one who showed him around town each night, took him to the best places to eat, and hung out with him the most when they were cooking up different schemes to kidnap the president.

Seifer almost laughed. It was so fucking ironic that he actually _did_ end up kidnapping the president.

Zone and Watts were friendly but they got annoying. Rinoa hung on his arm a lot and swooned and looked up at him with her bright, brown eyes and he just grinned back, going along with it. She was a little clingy for his taste but it wasn't like he was going to keep her around for very long. Arm candy, if anything. Plus, there was the prospect that she'd eventually put out. Hell, you only live once, right?

She was a nice girl, but that was just it. She was too nice. He knew that they'd never work out. She didn't know, or understand, his true personality. Besides, he'd never see her again once he went back to Garden.

The irony yet again reared its ugly head.

Rinoa was a fling. Rinoa was a friend, but that was it. Rinoa, really, meant nothing to Sefier like what she meant to Squall.

"It was nothing," he shrugged.

Quistis glanced up. "What?"

Seifer bit the inside of his cheek, suddenly wondering why in the hell he felt he had to justify his stupid fucking love life to Quistis.

Quistis blinked. "You mean…you and Rinoa?"

Seifer set his jaw and looked away.

_Fuck me. _

"Yeah. It wasn't…really…" he waved a hand dismissively. "We didn't…"

Quistis raised her eyebrows.

"It didn't fucking mean anything, okay?" Seifer scowled in frustration. "It was just…a thing. It…" Hyne. He didn't even know what it was. "It was just something stupid, that's all."

Quistis blinked again and nodded slowly. "Oh. Okay."

"Why does it matter, anyway?" Seifer crossed his arms, immediately feeling defensive.

Quistis regarded him with slight surprise. "I don't know. Why are you so angry about it?"

Seifer glanced at her.

There was an uncomfortable pause.

_Maybe because she was the last girl I was with before I almost died, _Seifer thought. _And it made me so…angry. Hyne, I had wasted so much time on stupid dreams. So many times I thought I was going to die, and I was so angry that I didn't spend my time with someone who I truly………._

_Someone who would make it all worthwhile………someone who was actually worth dying for………_

"Whatever," he grumbled. "Forget it."

Quistis shrugged, licked her lips, and pressed _play_.

"So when we managed to escape the D-district prison, that wasn't coincidence, was it?"

Seifer crossed his arms, glad for the subject change. "No. I purposely thinned out the guard so you'd make an easy break."

"Where did you station them?"

"Most of them were with me. The rest were stationed at the missile base."

"And where were you?"

"After making sure Squall knew what was going on, I had to go back to Deling City to deal with Edea. She wanted to start her massive SeeD hunt and I had to figure out how the fuck I could save lives."

Quistis chewed on her pen. _I was with Selphie and Irvine at the missile base…so I had missed the whole Shumi debacle, on top of Balamb Garden evading the missile attack…and then we met up in Fisherman's Horizon…_

"So…I only know what happened from what Squall told me, but basically, they evaded the missile attack because they got Balamb Garden to fly," she said.

"Yeah."

Quistis sighed as she thought back on the timeline. _We went to the base. Squall, Zell, and Rinoa went back to Balamb. It took us at least three days to get to the base, but it had to have taken Squall's team at least a week to get back…we managed to delay the launch as long as we could…man, we were stuck out in the desert for a long time…_

"At least a month had passed from the mission in Deling City upon Squall's return to Balamb," Quistis thought out loud. "He'd been away from Balamb for two months, if you count the Timber mission…"

Seifer remained silent.

"We didn't even see them again until Fisherman's Horizon," Quistis continued, tapping the pen against her lips. "And that trip alone took us a couple weeks…"

Seifer furrowed his brow. "Two weeks? What the fuck did you take to FH? A blow-up raft?"

Quistis chuckled. "It was Selphie's idea, actually…but we took the BGH model destroyer tank. You know, the new Galbadian prototype? Good thing it stayed together long enough to get us all the way to FH."

Seifer blinked. "You took a tank?"

"We didn't have any other mode of transportation, so we had to take that thing. It was pretty mangled, too. We were lucky we got that far - "

"Whoa, whoa," Seifer held up a hand. "What are you talking about? Why did you take that hunk of junk to FH when you could've hijacked a humvee?"

"We were locked into the complex, and the Galbadian soldiers had taken all the humvees during the evacuation. The tank was the only protection we had."

"What do you mean the only protection?"

"We had rigged the base to self-destruct, but we couldn't get out in time. Galbadian soldiers sealed us in the complex. Luckily the tank withstood the explosion."

Seifer set his jaw.

"Anyway, we drove it all the way to FH." Quistis sighed and rubbed her head. "With Selphie and Irvine taking turns driving and navigating…it was a very _long_ drive."

"So, while Squall was busy screwing around with the Shumi and trying to uproot Balamb Garden, you were joyriding through the desert with Frick and Frack," Seifer grinned. "Sounds fun."

Quistis smiled and did the math in her head. "Anyway, I guess since our arrest, by the time the repairs were finished on Balamb Garden in FH, and when we were able to head back to Balamb it had been a month."

"Three months since the mission started," Seifer replied darkly.

Quistis glanced at him. "So…while we were away doing that…what about you?"

Seifer gritted his teeth, dreading the question. "Ah…you know. I kept busy."

She swallowed and remained silent.

Seifer averted his gaze and sat forward to take another drink of water.

Quistis bit her lip. "How about we just start from when you went back to Deling City. What happened then?"

"Well, I was running on no sleep and about a pack of cigarettes a day," Seifer looked away. "I think I had close to five kills by then and I was getting pretty good at it - "

"What do you mean?" Quistis interrupted quietly.

"Edea got pissed a lot. She wanted me to kill people. So I did."

Quistis swallowed. "Who?"

Seifer glared at her. "Does it matter?"

She didn't reply.

"Soldiers. Soldiers that didn't do anything wrong, but happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. Soldiers with families. I killed them so she wouldn't kill more. I killed them so I could keep doing my job."

Quistis lowered her gaze and stared at the pen in her hands.

"Does that disappoint you, Trepe? That I'm not a traitor to Garden but I still have innocent blood on my hands?"

Quistis looked up at him sadly. "We all have innocent blood on our hands, Seifer. None of us will be able to escape that."

Seifer watched her. _Yeah…_

"And I was never disappointed in you."

He blinked at her and she held her gaze. After a long pause, he shrugged and looked away.

"Well…I did what I had to do."

Quistis licked her lips in thought. "Seifer…do you want to talk about it?"

Seifer glanced up and narrowed his eyes. "_Talk_ about it?"

"I mean…how you feel…you know, just to get it out…"

"How I _feel_? How the fuck would _you_ feel?"

Quistis remained silent. She secretly knew that by prompting him to talk about it, even though he claimed he wouldn't talk about it, inadvertently got him angry enough to talk about it. Reverse Seifer psychology.

"Their blood was splattered on my trenchcoat," Seifer snarled, "and on my shoes, and on my hands, and I couldn't wash it out. I hadn't had a decent shower in months. I hadn't eaten a proper meal because I kept throwing it up. Edea didn't even have to _do_ anything to me. All she had to do was _tell_ me what to do, and she still managed to fucking torture me. I was eighteen years old and I was already dying. Every day I woke up wishing she'd just kill me, or that you guys would. I wasn't human anymore…there was no more Seifer Almasy left. Just a shell. Just a mindless shell that killed and obeyed orders."

Quistis didn't reply.

"You know what I've found out about myself?" Seifer glared at her. "The whole time I was with Edea…with Ultimecia…a fucking crazy lunatic sorceress who would suddenly kill anyone for sheer pleasure…and after I killed someone…after all the blood and the screams…" He paused and held up a hand. "I've learned that my heart rate always remained steady. My hands never shook."

Quistis watched him, a pained look crossing her face.

"Does that make me inhuman, Trepe?" he asked quietly. "Does that mean I have no conscience? That deep down, I'm programmed to mindlessly kill people?"

"No," she replied softly. "Not at all. We're SeeDs. We're trained to do those things at a very early age. And just because your hands don't shake doesn't mean you have no remorse. You told me earlier you couldn't keep food down. That you couldn't sleep. Something must have been keeping you going, Seifer," Quistis continued softly. "Something must have driven you…and you weren't just a shell if you could still do all that and keep your head."

Seifer didn't reply.

"You must have been holding on to something…" she murmured.

He glanced at her. "Yeah? What were you holding on to?"

Quistis shrugged and looked away. "I don't know. A lot of things." _Friendship. Hope. Anger. Determination. Life._

"Name one."

She glanced up at him. "You first."

Seifer glared at her. "Why is it so hard, Trepe?"

"Why is it so hard for _you_?"

"Maybe I don't feel like talking about it."

"Just try."

"I asked you first."

Quistis rolled her eyes. "I fought for my friends. I fought for our home. I fought for Garden. I fought for Ellone…for Matron…for Cid…for a lot of things."

"I thought SeeDs were supposed to carry out orders devoid of emotion," Seifer mocked her.

"Forget what I said, then," Quistis waved a hand. "We both know that's not true, so we might as well stop fooling ourselves."

Seifer snorted. "You didn't say love."

Quistis blinked. "What?"

"You fought for all those things except for love. Usually that's the first cliché bullshit thing someone would say."

"Yeah, well, not me. I love my friends, and my family, if that's what you mean," Quistis shrugged and grabbed the water bottle from the table, took a drink, and put it back down.

"What about a guy?"

She scowled. "What _about_ a guy?"

Seifer grinned and took a turn at the water bottle. "So it's a girl, then?"

Quistis glared at him and set her jaw. "Oh, _very_ clever, Seifer. Just because I'm not with a guy, it automatically makes me a lesbian?"

Seifer chuckled. "No, but that'd be interesting. The Trepies would be foaming at the mouth over some girl-on-girl action."

"Oooohhhh!" Quistis lunged forward and turned off the recorder. "How do you do that? _How_ do you go from being all emo and depressed and talking about blood and death to talking about me and lesbians?!?"

Seifer gave her a dark look. "Maybe thinking about _you_ is what kept me going."

Quistis glared at him, trying to hide her hurt feelings. She couldn't understand why he always mocked her like that, as if he deliberately wanted to point out the lack of relationships in her life. "Oh, right. Your sarcasm is _astounding_, Seifer. If you want to flatter me, try to at least _mean_ it next time."

His jaw muscles flexed.

She angrily punched the _rewind_ button, followed by _stop_ and then _play_.

"Your turn," she turned her icy glare on him. "Let's do it your way. Let's not sugar coat it. You've been through hell and you've seen worse than all of us combined. How did you get through it?"

Seifer narrowed his eyes. "I told you."

"No, you didn't."

"Yes, I did, Trepe - "

"So lesbian fantasies helped you remain undercover?" Quistis spat nastily. "You'll have to do better than that."

The plastic water bottle made a cracking noise under his grip. "Fine. Love, peace, friendship, all that fucking crap. That's what I fought for. That's what kept me going."

Quistis rubbed her forehead. "Seifer, you have to cooperate - "

"Why should it fucking matter _how_ the fuck I got through it?" He snapped angrily. "I got through it, didn't I? I'm here, aren't I? Quit wasting my time! Next fucking question!"

Quistis glared at him. "I'm trying to help - "

Seifer stood up and shook his head. "You know what? Fuck this. I'm done. Nice fucking therapy session, instructor. I'm ready to kill someone again. Good job."

Quistis stood up. "Seifer - "

"A credit to the damn profession, you are. Hyne. What a fucking joke."

"Seifer, it goes both ways," Quistis replied heatedly, putting her hands on her hips. "You have to be truthful with me, otherwise this won't get anywhere."

"You'll only believe what you want to believe, Trepe. It doesn't matter what I say."

"No? Then what have we been doing for the past hour?"

"I've been humoring you so we could get this shit overwith quickly," he growled. "It wasn't quick _enough_."

Quistis slammed her pen onto the notebook. "Fine, then! Fine! Walk out of here and brood like you always do, Seifer. Go pout. Go on and be all pissed off, if it'll make you feel better."

"Anything will make me feel better if it means I don't have to see _you,_" he snarled.

Quistis gritted her teeth and jabbed her finger towards the door, ignoring the stinging comment. "If I'm so repulsive to you, then get out!"

Seifer threw up his hands, already heading towards the door. "Gladly!"

As soon as it shut closed, Quistis crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes.

_Oooooooohhhhhhh!!!!!!_

Tears pricked at her eyes, more out of anger and frustration than anything else, but she quickly swallowed them back. She glanced at the recorder, which was still on, then she angrily leaned over and punched the _stop_ button.

_Damn it._

. . .

_Nrrrgh. Bitch. _

Seifer stalked towards his room and shoved his hands into his pockets.

_What the fuck does she want from me? I try to open up and she fucking shuts my ass down again. Nothing is good enough for her. Nothing is ever good enough for the almighty Quistis Trepe. Hyne, it's like being in class again…only worse. Even worse than detention. At least in detention we didn't have to speak to each other._

He sighed. _Fuck this shit. Who the fuck is this helping?_

Tomorrow he'd go to Cid and try to talk his way out of more mental evaluations. Maybe he'd even talk to Matron and convince her that he didn't need anyone trying to pry into his business. She'd listen. Besides, it was bullshit, really. And why did Quistis have to do it? Talk about salt and lemon juice on the fucking open wound.

Seifer set his jaw and sighed. _Yeah, right. Go to Cid's office? Talk to Matron? No way._ He wasn't ready to see her. On top of that, he'd rather endure more mental eval bullshit than go crying to Cid. He wasn't one to openly complain, anyway. After failing a handful of SeeD field exams, he never went to Cid to try to refute it. Why in the hell should he go to the Headmaster now over a stupid psychological mind-fuck game?

_Forget it._

Once he slid his key card into the slot and walked through his door, Seifer glanced around his dark room and sighed. It seemed so bare and dreary compared to Quistis's room.

_Stop comparing shit to Quistis's stuff._

He glanced at his flat, plain futon and was already starting to miss that couch. And not that he was gay or anything, but he liked how her room smelled. And her pillow…

_I wonder what she puts in her hair._

His thoughts travelled to Quistis's shampoo.

Quistis shampooing her hair.

In the shower.

Naked.

_Auuuugggghhhhhhh. Mother fucker. Damn it. I'm supposed to be pissed at her._

Seifer ran a hand through his hair and strode over to his futon in the sitting room, plopped down, and sighed.

_I've got to get a fucking hobby._

One thing was for sure. He doubted he'd be able to sleep that night.

. . .

Later that night, Quistis sighed as she adjusted her pillow, pulled up her sheets, and plopped her head down.

_What a day._

After she'd cooled off, she realized that things hadn't gone as bad as she thought. Surprisingly enough, Seifer was only half as irritable, smug, and obnoxious as she had originally feared. He was somewhat reserved. She couldn't tell if he was actually being cooperative or if he was just too tired to be an asshole.

At least, until the very end of the session.

What in the hell exactly set him off, anyway? She hadn't asked him anything out of the ordinary, really. The session was going all right…until she started asking about how he had endured his undercover identity.

She sighed. _Maybe it was still to painful for him to talk about. I shouldn't have pushed him so much. Maybe he got angry because I backed him into a corner and tried to force him to explain his feelings. I always seem to do that with men. _

She gritted her teeth. _And we're just going to have to pick up right where we left off tomorrow, regardless of how he feels. Great._

She sighed again and turned onto her side. As she closed her eyes, she took in a few breaths and then opened them again.

_That smell…_

What was that? Seifer's shampoo?

Quistis blinked and sniffed again. Yep, it definitely smelled…like a guy. It was like a mix between regular soap and that unique spicy smell from deordorant that guys would use. She wouldn't distinguish it as cologne, as Seifer wouldn't be caught dead with cologne on, but it was still a nice smell. Subtle, but clean. Masculine.

_Mmm..._

…_Aaah?!_

Suddenly disgusted with herself, Quistis sat up and tossed the pillow towards the foot of her bed with a disgruntled groan.

_Seifer Almasy got his man-stink all over my pillow. Damn it. I don't want to sleep on that now. I'll probably have nightmares about him on TOP of the nightmares I'm already having. Ugh._

She stared at the pillow and rubbed her eyes.

_Just how immature am I?! Hyne. I'm scared of a pillow. Even when he's not in the same room, Seifer always manages to get the better of me. Well, not tonight._

Curling her lip, she grabbed the pillow as if it was a last resort and threw it back to the head of the bed, plopped back down, and tried not to think about it.

Trying not to think about Seifer made her think about him, of course.

She emitted a loud sigh and stared at the ceiling.

"_I was eighteen years old and I was already dying."_

_Weren't we all._

Quistis sighed. Seifer had turned nineteen on December 22nd. Where were they in December?

Esthar. They had recovered at the orphanage, after Edea finally returned to her normal self…but Rinoa was in a coma, and they all went to Esthar to try to figure out what was going on.

_I wonder if Seifer was in Esthar, too. I wonder if he was able to get some rest on his birthday._

She sighed. _Probably not._ _We weren't able to, either._ She snorted. _I spent my birthday in a jail cell._

As she lay there, staring at her ceiling, she decided to make it up to Seifer. It was the least she could do.

* * *

**Author's Note:** There's a bit of _The Departed_ in there...


	11. Healing

_

* * *

_

**_"I'm giving up the ghost of love_**

**_in the shadows cast on devotion..._**

**_She is the one that I adore;_**

**_Creed of my silent suffocation..."_**

"Bittersweet" by _Apocalyptica_

* * *

_"Instructor."_

Quistis sighed and moaned.

_"Wake up."_

She opened her eyes and was staring at the chalkboard. A piece of chalk was in her hand but nothing was written.

_"Remember me."_

She slowly turned around, but her classroom was empty. The windows were dark; blacker than night. She swallowed. Someone was sitting in the very back.

_Where is everyone? Who is that?_

She felt scared. The familiar presence of someone else in the back of the room was soothing, but…

She turned around and faced the chalkboard, but it melted away. The classroom was sliding away into an array of watercolors, like paint dripping off canvas. She swirled around again and Ultimecia was floating there in the darkness, above the graves of all the SeeDs…

_"Reflect on your…childhood…"_

Quistis closed her eyes and clutched her head. _No! Not you!_

_"Quistis."_

She straightened up again and looked around. It was daylight and her classroom was still empty, but the chalkboard was full of math equations and magic physics. She slowly turned around.

_"Instructor."_

She cocked her head and smiled.

She walked towards the back of the room and crossed her arms. Seifer was leaning back in his chair, arms crossed and feet propped up on his desk, but he was grinning up at her.

_"Hi."_

She smiled back. She wasn't afraid anymore.

_Hi._

Quistis's eyes blinked open and she took in a deep breath. She closed her eyes again and sighed.

"Mmmmmhhh…"

The faint sound of chirping birds floated in from outside, and it was lighter than normal to be 0300 hours. As she stretched in her bed and buried her face in her pillow, she blinked again and suddenly propped herself up. Her gaze darted to her clock. She squinted.

0624 hours.

_Oh, wow. That can't be right. Did I actually…sleep in?_

She put her fingers up to her nose and checked for blood.

No. No blood. No nosebleed.

She smiled. _No nosebleed! I'm finally getting better!_

She plopped back down into the downy pillow and took a deep breath, finally admitting to herself that she loved its new smell, ignoring where it came from. She stretched again and sighed.

_Mmmm._

_Now…what the hell did I just dream about?_

_**. . .**_

It was nearly lunchtime, and Zell had already gotten a head start in the cafeteria lunch line. As he was loading up on food, the rest of the usual gang took their places at a round table. When they were all situated – Selphie had her iced tea and salad, Rinoa had some water and a ham and cheese sandwich, Squall had his late morning coffee, Irvine had some barbeque and a soft drink, and Zell practically had all of the above plus two extra plates. The only thing out of the ordinary was Quistis's absence.

"Have any of you seen Quisty?" Selphie asked the group. "I haven't seen her since lunch yesterday."

"She's had a lot on her mind," Rinoa shrugged. "Maybe she's just relaxing somewhere, alone."

"I saw her earlier this morning," Irvine replied. "I was grabbin' some coffee and I saw her in the cafeteria."

Everyone glanced at him.

"You did? Did you talk to her?" Selphie asked.

"Nah. She was busy talking to the chef, back by the kitchen."

Zell immediately jerked to attention, swallowing a mouthful of barbeque. "She what? What was she talking to the chef for?"

"I dunno. It was early this morning, around eight hundred hours or so."

Zell punched his fist into his palm. "I wonder if she was doing a hot dog interrogation…I've always told her that she needs to do some sort of investigation…my face is too well-known, so I can't do it…"

Squall rolled his eyes.

"Zell, if Quisty was in the cafeteria this early in the morning, do you really think it could've been about hot dogs?" Selphie sighed.

"Why not?! Catch 'em off guard."

"Well, it wasn't anything like your little excursion a few weeks ago," Irvine chuckled. "At least Quistis wasn't sneaking around."

"I wouldn't have gotten caught if you would have held the damn flashlight steady," Zell grumbled.

Zell had tried to investigate the hotdog shortage – by proving there was no such thing as a hotdog shortage – in the middle of the night, searching around the kitchen to try to find the "secret stockpile." He had convinced Irvine to come with him to help, and Irvine had flashlight duty while Zell scoured the kitchen for conspicuous hiding places. He ended up crashing into a bunch of pots and pans and waking up half of Garden. Irvine was too busy laughing to help him.

"Did she take any food with her this morning?" Squall asked.

_She might have been getting Seifer something to eat._

Irvine furrowed his brows as he thought about the question, then shook his head. "I'm not sure. I don't think she did."

"You know what sucks?" Zell suddenly changed the subject. "I smelled _cake_ all day long and they're not serving any. What the hell is that all about? Why bake a cake and not serve it to us? What, is there a supposed _cake_ _shortage_ - " he made quotation symbols with his fingers "- now? What's next, soda pop? French-fries? How about just food in general?"

Squall rolled his eyes again. "Why does it matter, Zell?"

"Because it's _cake_, man."

"You're imagining things," Selphie took a sip of tea. "I haven't smelled any cake."

"You think it was cake?" Rinoa asked. "I thought it smelled like cinnamon or something. Bread pudding."

"Nah, it smelled too spicy for bread pudding," Irvine cut in.

Selphie sniffed the air. "I don't smell anything! What's wrong with you people?!"

"No, it was definitely cake," Zell shook his head. "Trust me."

"Zell knows his food," Squall said with a small grin as he sipped his coffee. "We'd better take his word for it."

"Damn straight," Zell said as he shoved another large piece of barbeque into his mouth.

**_. . ._**

After endless hours of tossing and turning, Seifer had given up trying to sleep at 0400 hours. He had paced back and forth from his futon in the sitting room to his bedroom, trying to find something – anything – that was comfortable enough to help him slip into at least a mild nap, but it was no use.

_I need that couch…_

_No I don't. Fuck that couch._

He even tried lying on the floor next to the bed. The long months of sleeping upright, sleeping standing up, and sleeping on the hard ground probably made him used to harsher conditions. Maybe he just wasn't used to sleeping in a bed.

_Maybe I'm just fucking retarded. What am I doing on the ground? I'm not a hobo._

He groaned and stood up. Nothing worked. It was official. He couldn't fucking sleep.

_You're pathetic, Almasy. You're a SeeD mercenary. You've been trained to sleep in the midst of war, for Hyne's sakes, and you can't because you have blondes and bananas on the brain._

Pathetic.

It got to the point where attempting to sleep was pointless and lack of sleep was beginning to make him feel wide awake. He'd skipped breakfast and wandered around the quad in the morning, but he was back in his room by 1000 hours, trying to pass the time by reading old magazines. At 1100 hours, he was sitting on his futon, wondering what he should do for the rest of the day.

Unfortunately his thoughts had travelled, more than once, to a few things Quistis had mentioned during the evaluation.

Trabia was one of them.

He'd known he'd get blamed for it, but it still aggravated the hell out of him. It's not like he deliberately wanted to do it, for Hyne's sakes. Don't they know that?

Just how many students were stupid enough to think he'd kill hundreds of people on purpose?

Apparently a lot. Guess he appeared to be more intimidating than he'd originally planned. It was one thing to be called 'lapdog' and 'traitor,' names which had begun to slowly fade away as people realized that he was actually undercover, but it was an entirely different thing to be called a homicidal maniac, especially if he didn't even do it.

Seifer ran a hand through his hair and sighed.

_Oh well. I've murdered innocent soldiers. Adding a couple hundred Garden students to my rap sheet doesn't really make much of a difference. Killing is killing. And I'm a killer._

He wondered what sort of excuse Cid had to dig up for that mess. No doubt the surviving Trabian Garden officials were screaming for an apology. It was Edea's order, and on top of that, she was accompanied by a Balamb Garden cadet. Even though the general public didn't yet know that Edea was Headmaster Cid's wife, the shit was bound to hit the fan sooner or later.

_I can't fucking wait for the military tribunal. What a circus that'll be._

Even though Seifer wasn't responsible for setting the coordinates, he still technically oversaw the operation. He could just imagine the arguments.

Why didn't he stop it?

Why didn't he kill the sorceress himself?

Why couldn't he have at least warned Trabia?

Why did he essentially do nothing?

_Cid must have one hell of an ulcer._

Seifer hadn't seen Selphie around, but he saw the look on her face that day in Cid's office when he came out in his SeeD uniform, glaring at all of them coldly. She had gone pale as a ghost and she looked like she might hyperventilate. He didn't know if she was going to rush up and bonk him upside the head with that nunchaku of hers or faint dead away.

And now she was running loose around Balamb Garden like a spider monkey, giving orders about ceremony decorations and pretending that everything was okay.

_Hyne, she must hate my guts. I can't believe there hasn't been an attempt on my life yet. That quirky little sprite is probably double-jointed and could crawl through the vents or some shit…throttle me in my sleep…_

Scary thought, really…

…_Why do I care?_

A tiny voice in his head had sprung up once or twice to whisper, _you should at least apologize_.

_Fuck that. I'm not apologizing to anyone. I did what I had to do to save everyone else. Kill a few hundred to save a billion._

_Besides, if I apologize to her, I'm gonna have to apologize to…_

Rinoa still hadn't expected any sort of explanation for Adel, and Seifer still wasn't willing to give her one. If he had to talk to Rinoa, he'd have to talk to Squall since those two were fucking surgically attached to each other's heart and soul now.

_Make me fucking puke. I'm not apologizing to Leonhart. No way._

The minutes ticked by and he managed to force himself to stop feeling like a sap when his stomach growled and he thought about finding Fujin and Raijin.

_I'm so bored. And hungry. I wonder what those two are up to._

Just then, there was a light knock on the door.

Seifer sighed, stood up, and walked towards the door. _Speak of the devils…maybe Fuj and Rai have something to do. I haven't talked to them since yester…_

_Oh, shit._

He had glanced at his monitor and noticed Quistis standing outside. She was carrying a small box and she leaned forward to knock again.

_Knock, knock._

He'd forgotten that he was supposed to be pissed off at her – the long, sleepless night made it feel as if an eternity had passed since their fight – and instead leaned forward and stared at the monitor more closely. He grinned and pressed the intercom button. His voice on the other side startled her.

'_If you lean forward just a little bit more, Trepe, I'll be able to see down your shirt.'_

Quistis stiffened and glanced up at the small black dot above the door, which housed the camera. She automatically pulled at the collar of her shirt and looked around.

"Seifer…can I come in?"

The door slid open. Seifer was on the other side, dressed in black warm-up pants and a white tank top. "Yeah?"

Quistis held up the white box and smiled meekly at him. "Peace offering."

Seifer blinked. "Huh?"

"You know…for yesterday."

Seifer furrowed his brows. "What's the catch?"

"What do you mean?"

"There has to be a catch."

"Why does there have to be a catch?"

"It just does."

"No, Seifer. No catch."

"You're not going to try to noose me into more of your psychobabble crap, are you?"

Quistis sighed. "No, not right now. Just take it."

Seifer took the box and examined it. "More food?"

"Maybe."

After he opened it, he quirked a brow at her. "What's this?"

"It's a cupcake."

"Well I can _see_ that, Trepe. What's it for?"

She shrugged. "I know it's a little late, but…happy birthday, Seifer."

Seifer stared at her. "It's 25 June, Trepe."

"I know, but better late than never. It's not like I had a chance to give this to you last December."

He curled a lip, skeptical. "What the hell suddenly brought this on?"

"It was something you said yesterday…about…about being eighteen but already dying," Quistis replied quietly. "Well…it just made me think of your birthday. Besides, consider it a step up. We've survived the war and we're nineteen now. Something to look forward to, I guess."

Seifer stared at the cupcake, which was nestled in a plain paper cup and frosted with white icing on the top. "Uh…thanks."

Quistis smiled at him. "I would have put a candle on it, but I figured that'd be too over the top."

Seifer suppressed a grin, grateful that he didn't have to blow out a candle. Getting a cupcake from Quistis felt lame enough. He dipped a finger into the frosting, licked it, examined the cupcake closer, and blinked.

"Is this carrot cake?"

Quistis nodded. "Yeah. It's your favorite, right?"

"Well…yeah, but how did you…?"

"I asked Matron," she replied shyly.

Seifer set his jaw at the name and looked away, not knowing whether he should feel happy that Matron remembered or slightly disturbed that she knew so much about him. After a long pause, he glanced at her. "And you just happened to come across this in the cafeteria?"

Quistis turned pink. "I asked one of the chefs to make it."

"You're kidding."

She shook her head.

"Now I _know_ there's a catch," he groaned. "Seriously, Trepe, what's the deal?"

"No catch, Seifer!"

"Seems like an awful lot of trouble for nothing," he mumbled.

"Well, it was for you. You deserved it. I want you to have it. We missed your birthday, after all."

"Trepe, you guys always miss my birthday."

"Not me."

Seifer sighed and looked at the cupcake. "Yeah. Not you."

"_That's it for today's lesson, everyone," Quistis closed her book and poked at the smart board, closing out the software applications, and tugged at the projection screen to roll it up. "Now, I want you all to enjoy your winter break, but please remember to use your time wisely for your five-page essay that's due once you get back."_

_A few groans and sighs were emitted in the classroom but she ignored them._

"_I'll be available all break; my normal office hours will be open. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to stop by. If not, then I'll see everyone in two weeks."_

_The students all rose to file out of the room. As they slowly filtered out, Quistis crossed her arms and gazed towards the back of the room._

"_Seifer? May I see you, please?"_

_Seifer scowled._

_Nnngh. Not again. What the fuck did I do this time? Hyne, I swear I do shit wrong when I don't even know it and she still manages to catch me…_

_He sighed and walked up to the front of the room, where Quistis was waiting with a strange smirk on her face._

"_Yeah?"_

"_Do you know what today is, Seifer?"_

_He shrugged. "Detention number five hundred?"_

_Quistis shook her head and slung her bag over her shoulder._

_Seifer stared at her suspiciously. She was acting surprisingly nice. "What, then?"_

_She removed her glasses, put them in her shirt pocket, and grinned at him. "It's December twenty-second. Happy birthday."_

He had no clue how she always remembered. Hyne, she never remembered anything else about him, but she never forgot his birthday. Weird. He personally didn't think birthdays were a big deal, so he always forgot his own. It never failed, though, that whenever December 22nd rolled around, Quistis would give him the same birthday wish.

He glanced at her and motioned her in. "Well, come on. You might as well watch me eat it."

Quistis smiled and stepped through the doorway. Even though he tried to be nonchalant, she knew he was surprised. He always was.

She sat down on his futon and looked around. Surprisingly, Seifer was a relatively neat person – only a few dirty socks and t-shirts were on the floor – but it wasn't rank, like Raijin's room, and it wasn't littered with old pizza boxes and hot-dog wrappers, like Zell's. The sitting room was furnished with simple décor – a small futon was placed along the wall, a round coffee table was in the center, a bookshelf with no books but plenty of dirty magazines and weapons monthly was up against the other wall, and a small television sitting on a wooden stand was in the corner. A lot of his things had been thrown out and destroyed since a year's time; after he took the position as a spy, most of his personal items (and he didn't have much) were burned or put into storage. Balamb had been attacked and left a lot of wings in disarray, including the dormitories, and most of the furniture had been damaged or items were lost. The only personal item Seifer managed to keep was his gunblade, which was stored in a large silver and black case leaning against the wall in the corner. She was surprised to see a small stack of old textbooks, papers, and notebooks - most of them from the classes she taught - tucked away in a corner by the futon.

"What about you, Trepe?" Seifer followed her down the hallway and into the sitting room. "Did anyone do anything for your birthday?"

"Are you kidding?" She replied. "Of course not. I wasn't expecting anyone to remember my birthday when we were trying to track down a sorceress." She sighed and shrugged. "Nobody knows when my birthday is anyway."

Seifer started to peel the cupcake wrapper off the bottom. "4 October."

Quistis stared at him. "What?"

"Your birthday. It's October fourth."

She blinked and the corner of her mouth turned up into a tiny smile. "How did you know?"

"I've always known."

She stared at him in surprise. "Really?"

Seifer shrugged. "We're from the same orphanage, Trepe. I never junctioned a GF either, so I just always remembered."

_Seifer sat back and crossed his arms. Today he'd listen and not say a word. Today he'd leave Squall alone. Today he'd refrain from making any chafing comments about the rest of the dumbasses in class, and today he'd answer any questions if Instructor Trepe asked him to. He wouldn't raise his hand, though. That was pushing it._

_Today was Quistis's birthday._

_Every year on October 4__th__, he'd behave. He'd never walk up to her and put an apple on her desk or shower her with other favors – all the Trepies did that shit – and he'd never go out of his way to wish her happy birthday, because if he did that, she'd know that he paid attention to when her birthday was. He didn't need that shit, either. Instead, he'd simply leave her alone. He'd give her a reprieve. He'd let her have a detention-free day. The rest of the 364 days of the year were up for grabs, though._

_He didn't necessarily like October 4__th__, however. For one, it was the most boring day of the year because he couldn't bother Quistis. For two, he had always noticed that even though a hoarde of mindless Trepies would wish her a happy birthday, nobody that mattered had said it to her. Cid didn't. Squall didn't. Chicken-wuss didn't. They'd all forgotten. He knew that feeling all too well, which was why he was more than willing to forget his own. Forgetting was better than getting your hopes up. Besides, he didn't really care about one day out of the year, but Quistis was a girl, and girls always got wishy-washy over that shit. He knew that even though she'd tried to act otherwise, she always noticed that nobody paid attention to her birthday._

_It was the real reason he didn't like October fourth. He saw the look on Quistis's face, and it was the same every year. She was disappointed that nobody had really gone out of their way to take a minute out of their day to truly wish her a happy birthday. She was sad. _

_The least he could do was take one day out of the year to be trouble-free._

"But you always forgot your own birthday, Seifer," Quistis pointed out.

Seifer took a bite of the cupcake and shrugged again. "Birthdays aren't that big of a deal to me, Trepe."

"Then how could you remember mine?"

He stiffened and gave her a stony glare. "I can forget it if you want me to."

Quistis grinned. "No. Never mind, then."

He took another bite of cupcake and examined her. "You're in an awfully good mood. Did you get laid last night?"

Quistis rolled her eyes. "I actually slept in this morning."

"What, to like, five-hundred hours?"

"Actually it was six."

"That's sleeping in? Hyne, Trepe, you're a nerd."

"Well, it's better than how I've slept lately. I actually slept all the way through the night for the first time in months."

Seifer snorted and licked some icing off his index finger. "That makes one of us, at least."

She glanced at him. "You're not sleeping well?"

"Didn't sleep a wink last night." _Too busy thinking about…lavender and citrus and soap suds and bananas...fuck…_

"Oh. I can leave if you need to take a nap - "

"No, forget it. I've tried. I just can't sleep."

There was a pause.

"I thought time compression made everyone lethargic and tired," Quistis wondered out loud.

"It has. I slept my ass off for the past month. I guess I'm all caught up, I don't know," he grumbled. _Getting a boner every five minutes doesn't help, either. _He glanced up at her. "What about you, then? If sleeping in until six is a good thing, sounds like you haven't exactly been sleeping well, either."

Quistis shrugged. "Well…I don't know…lately, I've…"

"Burning the candle at both ends?" Seifer grinned at her.

"Oh, you know me," she joked back. "I'm a party animal. Complete socialite."

Seifer regarded her for a moment. The last statement sounded quite bitter, albeit true, but he thought he noticed a hint of lonliness in her tone. His smug grin didn't fade, though.

"Remind me to get you liquored up one day, Trepe. I'll bet you'd be a good time."

"Oh, sure," she rolled her eyes.

"So, what's the _real_ reason you haven't been sleeping?"

Quistis shrugged and looked away. "Bad dreams."

He watched her, knowing that she wasn't telling him the whole truth, but decided not to dig further. Besides, bad dreams were common, given the shit they'd all dealt with. As he was finishing up his cupcake, Quistis changed the subject.

"So, how was it? Did the cooks get it right?"

"I don't think I've had carrot cake since the orphanage, so by my standards, this was pretty good," he shrugged. "Shit. I don't think I've even _had_ any cake since…"

_Since…Matron…_

"Yeah," Quistis nodded somberly. "Me neither." She looked up at him and smiled. "Well, there's more where that came from. The cooks made a batch for a dozen cupcakes, so they're in the cafeteria if you ever want another one. I told them not to give them out to any other students." She chuckled. "When Zell finds out, he's going to be so mad at me."

"You mean those are _my_ cupcakes?" Seifer raised an eyebrow at her.

"Yeah."

"Gee, Trepe, I'm flattered."

"It's just for your belated birthday, Seifer."

"Did you eat one?"

Quistis shook her head. "I'm not a fan of carrot cake."

"What? Carrot cake is the best fucking cake on the planet."

She shook her head again and smiled. "Give me angel food cake any day."

Seifer grimaced. "Trepe, that's nothing but sugar baked into the form of a sponge. Gross."

"It's not gross. It's light and sweet. I like it."

"That's like sea-monkey cake. Add water and watch it grow. How can you eat that?"

Quistis smiled. "It's good if you add some strawberries...a little whipped cream…"

At the mention of strawberries and whipped cream by Quistis Trepe, Seifer's brain immediately switched into a different mode and he gulped.

_Fuck. No, no, not again. Change the subject._

"What time is it?" he suddenly asked.

Quistis looked around, but there wasn't a clock in the room. "Um…I'm not sure…around eleven-hundred hours or so, I think."

"You're going to make me do more of that mental evaluation shit, aren't you?"

Quistis sighed. She was hoping he wouldn't bring it up so soon. "Yes. I have to. But we don't have to get to it right away if you don't want - "

"How about I take a shower, grab lunch, and I'll meet you in your room around thirteen-hundred hours, then," Seifer shrugged.

_A VERY cold shower. _

Quistis blinked at him, surprised. "Um…really?"

He looked impatient. "Yeah, why?"

"Well…nothing, it's just that I didn't think you'd be up to it," she shrugged.

"The faster we do this, the faster we get it overwith," he stood up and motioned to the door. "I'm sick of sitting around here all day, anyway."

Quistis remained seated and stared up at him in bewilderment, shocked at his sudden cooperation. "Oh."

Seifer motioned to the door again. "Uh…so…"

Quistis blinked. "What about lunch? Did you want me to pick something up - "

"No. I'll get my own lunch." _Facing a cafeteria full of people who hate my guts is nothing compared to this right now. Just. Get. Out._

"Oh. Um…okay."

He glanced at the door, then back at her, then cocked his head towards the entrance and emitted a small, frustrated grunt, as if he was clearing his throat.

Quistis was still too astonished by his recent mood swing to catch on.

He put his hands on his hips and grit his teeth, but an impish look flashed in his eyes. "So…unless you want to strip down right now and join me in the shower, Trepe…"

She suddenly snapped to attention and stood up, embarrassed. "Oh! Oh…I'm…I'm sorry. Right. Yeah. Okay. See you after lunch, then."

As she hurriedly walked past him, he clenched his jaw shut and averted his gaze, but not before catching a brief whiff of her hair and glancing at her rear as she left the room. As the door slid shut, he leaned against the wall and lowered his head, blowing out a labored breath.

_I can't take much more of this._

It was another reason he couldn't sleep. He'd spent all night thinking about…things. Feelings. His future.

_Her._

Two days with Quistis Trepe and the walls were already crumbling.

_I'm such a pussy. Just one, big, gigantic vagina. Almasy, you're losing it. _

Last year, it was easier to act stoic and nonchalant. Hyne, the war sure put things in perspective.

He'd sworn to himself that if he survived Ultimecia, he'd tell her. If he had one last chance to live, he'd tell her the truth.

Seifer crossed his arms and sighed. Living up to his own promise was easier said than done. There was also an extremely good chance that she wouldn't do anything…return anything mutual…or care.

And the last fucking thing he needed was drama.

_Besides…she's not ready. Not by a long shot._

**_. . ._**

As the usual gang was busy eating lunch and talking over random events, Squall had started to wonder at Quistis's disappearance ever since Selphie had asked them earlier.

_She looked like she was doing all right yesterday, after I saw her get food for Seifer. I wonder how that first session went. That had to have been interesting. I'm glad he didn't go on a killing spree. That kid's got a lot of pent-up rage, I'll bet. Hrm. What's that say about me? Whatever. I'm just glad my own eval is over. That sucked. I think I would have rather had Quistis do it than Dr. Kadowaki…_

Squall didn't really want to admit it, but he was starting to miss Quistis. After disjunctioning all the GFs, his old feelings from the orphanage returned, especially his strong feelings for Sis. Not that his feelings for Ellone were displaced for Quistis, but…Quistis was, in fact, like an older sister. She was always there to help. She was always there to tell him what to do. It got annoying once in awhile, but…now that she wasn't around as much, it felt strange. He knew that she was helping Seifer, though, and he knew that Seifer needed her more than he did at the moment. His thoughts traveled to Ellone. It had been almost two months since time compression and there weren't any updates on her condition. She was still trapped in a coma.

_Sis…I hope she's all right. I hope she's doing okay._

He sighed inwardly.

_When in the hell are they going to let us see her?_

"Squall?"

"Huh?"

Rinoa smiled at him. "I said, is that all you're going to have for lunch? A protein bar and some coffee?"

"That'll make you shit quicker'n a T-Rexaur on a veggie diet," Irvine grinned.

Squall shrugged.

Rinoa leaned in closer. "What are you thinking?" she asked quietly.

He shrugged again. "Just…things."

She smiled at him sofly. "Are you worried about Quistis?"

"I was," he admitted. "But…I think she'll be okay. Seifer's back. I think everything will be all right."

Rinoa watched him, then squeezed his hand under the table. "It's Ellone, isn't it?"

"This isn't normal, Rinoa. She's the only one left in a coma."

"Squall, you don't know that. There could be hundreds of people around the world still affected from the time compression - "

"But none of the cases have been as bad as Ellone's," he uttered in a low voice. "Why won't they let us see her? What's happened to her that's so bad that we can't visit her?"

"Give it time," she murmured softly. "She's a special case, you know that."

Squall gritted his teeth. "I know."

"She was the one who was able to guide us all through the process in the first place…it's probably taken an enormous toll on her mind…"

"I know."

"I'm sure the doctors are working diligently on Ellone. Don't worry. She'll be fine, I know it. Just trust in her and trust in Laguna."

Squall rolled his eyes and was about to make a chafing remark about Laguna when Selphie's voice chimed in.

"I wonder if Quisty started her work with the mental evaluations," she thought out loud, interrupting their private conversation. "Do you know who she's supposed to be working on, Squall?"

Squall shook his head. "It's supposed to be confidential."

"Well, yeah, but you've gotta know _something_."

Squall shook his head again. "Nope. Sorry."

Rinoa suppressed a smile.

They both knew that if they let slip the fact that Quistis was doing Seifer Almasy's mental evaluation, an uproar would ensue. They'd bother her about Seifer and there was a chance they'd bother Seifer about Quistis. Not a good thing. In any case, Quistis would tell them in her own good time.

"Hey, guys…" Zell lowered his head down towards the table. "Don't look now…it's Seifer…"

The entire cafeteria watched as Seifer Almasy entered the room, dressed in a grey t-shirt and black military pants. A hushed murmur droned out as the students lowered their voices and watched him curiously as he bypassed the lunchline and went straight to one of the cooks.

Squall raised an eyebrow.

"What's he doing?" Zell turned his head and weaved his body back and forth, trying to get a better look. "He's going back into the kictchen! What the hell is he doing?"

"Oh Zell, relax," Rinoa sighed. "I feel bad for him. Everyone's staring. He's probably going back there so he can eat in peace."

Selphie, Irvine, and Squall remained silent, but they were just as intrigued as everyone else. Seifer Almasy had finally made his public cafeteria debut in the middle of the lunch rush hour and for once in almost ten months, he looked like his normal self. He wasn't the half-crazed, bloodthirsty lapdog they'd all seen during the war. Instead, he simply looked like Seifer Almasy: he stood up straight with his head up, not down. He was cool and confident. He looked like he didn't give a shit. He looked almost cocky again. He even had the tiniest of grins on his face.

_Damn, Quistis, _Squall thought._ That was fast work. What in the hell did you do to him…?_

After a few moments, he emerged from the kitchen with a large paper bag in one hand and something small in the other, ignoring the stares from the rest of the students.

"What is that…? What's going on?" Zell half-rose out of his seat so he could see.

"Zell, leave him alone," Rinoa rolled her eyes. "It's _food_."

"No, I mean that small white thing - "

"Hey! That looks like a cupcake," Selphie arched her neck so she could see.

"What?!?" Zell hissed.

As they tried to get a better view, Seifer glanced over at their table as he was walking by and raised the cupcake as if he was saluting them. Then, after grinning maliciously at Zell, he took a large bite of the cupcake and walked out of the cafeteria.

Zell's mouth dropped open.

"Oh, _hell_ no…"

"I'm sooo confused," Selphie blinked. "What just happened? Why did he have a cupcake?"

Irvine was chuckling.

Squall couldn't help but grin, either.

"What the fuck is so funny?!" Zell snapped. "That's bullshit! I _told_ you they were baking cake! How come _he_ got a cupcake?! I'll betcha he fucking gets hotdogs for free, too! They're giving him the special treatment because he's suddenly a big fat hero…"

"Zell, give it a rest," Irvine chuckled as he adjusted his hat and leaned back.

"Didn't you mention you saw Quistis in the kitchen earlier?" Rinoa asked Irvine.

"Yeah."

There was a long pause as they thought about it.

Zell's mouth dropped open again. "Noooo…"

"Do you think Quistis said something to the chefs, and they baked Seifer cupcakes?" Selphie asked.

"She _had_ to have!" Zell barked. "It's another fucking conspiracy! But…why…how…the fuck…how come…??? Why would she do that?!" His voice raised an octave. Squall thought he could see a blood vessel pulsing in his temple. "Why the fuck is she fraternizing with the enemy?!?"

"Zell, he's not the enemy," Rinoa reminded him. "Don't blame Quistis for - "

"He'll _always_ be my enemy," Zell narrowed his eyes. "And just because he helped us defeat Ultimecia doesn't mean that I'll forget the cupcake bias. That's crap."

Squall pinched the bridge of his nose, shaking his head. _Does he realize how idiotic this all sounds?_

Zell suddenly shot up from his chair.

"Where are you going?" Selphie hissed.

"I'm going to go get one," Zell snapped heatedly.

Irvine chuckled again. "This oughta be good…"

"Zell, are you kidding - ?" Selphie was calling out to thin air, since Zell had already bolted up to the lunchline.

Squall rolled his eyes and took a sip of coffee.

"I wonder why Quistis made Seifer cupcakes," Selphie shrugged and took a bite of her sandwich. "I mean, sure, I get a little cupcake craving every now and then – who doesn't at eight in the morning? I just didn't think Seifer was a cupcake person. Figured he'd be a sour-gumdrop kinda guy."

Squall blinked and stared at Selphie in utter disbelief. _…What? That's...completely missing the point…_

"I think it's sweet of her to do that," Rinoa smiled.

"Wait for it…" Irvine raised a finger as he watched Zell intently.

"We don't even know she did," Squall reminded them. "Irvine saw Quistis in the cafeteria but that doesn't mean she requested a cupcake order for Seifer. That's just…weird."

Rinoa shrugged. "I still think it's sweet."

"Three…two…one…" Irvine grinned.

"That's _BULLSHIT!_" Zell's bellow rumbled out over the entire cafeteria and everyone stared.

Irvine snickered.

"Oh, boy," Selphie grumbled.

"HOW COME?! HUH!?" came the bark. "HOW CAN SHE DO THAT?!? ISN'T THAT FAVORITISM?!? ISN'T THERE SOME SORT OF CAFETERIA RULE THAT SAYS YOU CAN'T EXCLUDE – WHAT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN? NO! I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE! HEY! LEGGO MY ARM!"

Irvine's chuckle turned into full-fledged laughter as Zell was escorted out of the cafeteria by a few burly cooks. Selphie, Squall, and Rinoa watched in surprise.

"There he goes again," Selphie sighed. "Maybe he shouldn't eat so much. It's obvious the sugar and the protein are going straight to that wacky brain of his."

"You should probably lay offa the sugar as well, sweet lips," Irvine winked at her.

"Huh? How come?"

"You're always movin'. How do you do it?"

"I don't need sugar," Selphie grinned proudly. "It just comes naturally."

Squall blinked and shook his head, opting not to say anything.

Rinoa sighed. "I can't believe him. That's the third time this week."

"It's your turn, Rinoa," Selphie grinned.

Rinoa stood up and nodded. "Yeah, I know."

Zell was routinely banned from the cafeteria due to his outbursts, his wild accusations that upset the cooks, and his endless pit of a stomach that would force the cafeteria staff to limit the amount of servings he'd get. Today was simply another outburst, and because he was no longer allowed inside the cafeteria for the rest of the day, his friends had to bring him food instead. They usually took turns, and today it was Rinoa's day.

After Rinoa had bagged up his uneaten portions and added a few more items from the lunch line, she waved to the group and said, "I'll meet up with you guys later. I'd better bring this to him quick so he doesn't do anything stupid."

"Too late for that," Irvine grinned. "Do you need help, darlin'? Someone might need to restrain him."

"You know what we need," Selphie tapped a finger on her chin, "are some tranquilizer darts…"

Squall suppressed a grin. It was funny how they always talked about Zell as if they were handling a wild animal.

"No, I'll be fine." Rinoa smiled at them. "I can always use leverage. I've got good persuasion skills."

Irvine snorted. "Yeah. You pinch," he grumbled.

"What?"

"Nothin'."

**_. . ._**

Rinoa entered the dormitory wing and headed towards Zell's room. Upon reaching it, she stepped up tentatively and cocked an ear towards the door, but so far, she hadn't heard anything breaking. At least he was brooding in silence. She knocked softly.

"Zell? It's me."

The door immediately slid open and Rinoa was met with Zell's cross features, but he was more interested in the food than anything else at the moment. She handed him the bag and followed him into his dormitory. After looking around and suppressing a look of disgust on her face upon seeing the mess, she turned and waited patiently as he sat down on his old futon and began unloading the food onto a cluttered table.

"Thanks, Rinoa."

"No problem. We'd sort of appreciate it if you'd keep the cafeteria outbursts to a minimum, though. Three times a week is pushing it, don't you think?"

Zell scowled. "Everything was fine until that _asshole_ got special treatment - "

"Zell…"

"Well, it's true! I mean, have you ever seen such a thing in your life?"

_Seifer eating a cupcake, or Seifer taunting Zell? _Rinoa blinked. "Um…well…no, not really - "

"He's been hiding out for a month and then he suddenly appears and gets all the carrot cake he wants? What the hell?"

"…Carrot cake?"

"That's what the cooks said it was, yeah."

"Oh."

"Anyway, let's get back to the point – we're heroes too, and the fact that he can simply saunter in there and grab whatever he wants, especially when the cooks lie to me and say there's not enough food to go around - "

Rinoa sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, an action she started picking up after watching Squall do it so many times. No wonder. "Zell…are you sure this is about the cafeteria food? Or is this just because you and Seifer don't like each other?"

"Both! Why in the hell did they bake something for him? They didn't bake anything for us, and - "

"You're not letting this hero stuff get to your head, are you?"

"Of course not! I'd just like a few extra hot dogs on my plate once in awhile, you know?"

"Well…"

Zell stood up and immediately started punching the air out of severe habit. "I'm too pissed to eat. I'm gonna have a talk with Quistis about this shit - "

"No, don't do that. Leave Quistis alone. She's been busy."

"With what?"

"She's doing the mental evaluations, remember?"

"My ass. What was she doing in the cafeteria this morning?"

"Zell, I can't believe you. Has it ever occurred to you that she might have been getting _food_?"

"But Irvine said she was speaking to the cooks!"

"Maybe it was just light conversation!"

"Tch. I dunno. Something fishy is going on." Zell cracked his knuckles and rocked his head back and forth to loosen his neck. "Seifer and cupcakes," he grumbled. "Bullshit, man."

Rinoa shook her head and put her hands on her hips. "Will you just…_stop?!_"

"Stop what?"

"Stop acting like a wendigo in heat!"

"Am not!"

"You're bouncing around, slamming your fists into everything and growling and making loud noises - "

"I don't growl!"

" – about the stupid cafeteria conspiracy," Rinoa finished in a huff. "Just do us all a favor and settle down, will you? We all love you, Zell, but you've got to relax. What's the cute little library girl going to think if she sees you like this?"

Zell scowled and crossed his arms angrily.

"Besides, why does it bother you so much that Seifer got a cupcake?" she threw her hands up into the air. "I mean, really?! It's a cupcake! And it's Seifer! You really shouldn't waste so much of your energy on _either!_ If it's that big of a deal to you, I'll go and ask the cooks to bake something especially for you! What's your favorite flavor?"

Zell appeared sheepish. "I like chocolate."

"Fine, then! Chocolate it is!"

"With sprinkles."

"ZELL!"

"All right, all right! I get it. I get your point. I'm sorry. I just got so worked up after seeing him is all, and…" he trailed off and rubbed the back of his head. "I don't know, Rinoa. I'm still mad over all the shit he's pulled. I still can't forgive him for all the pain and suffering he's caused…and…and…"

Rinoa sighed.

"…and he's just walking around, acting like nothing's happened…" Zell continued.

"You don't know that," she replied softly. "Maybe he's suffering more than any of us."

After a long pause, Zell shook his head. "I just don't see how you can defend him," he said quietly. "Has he even apologized to you yet?"

Rinoa looked down and shook her head silently.

"See?" Zell clenched his jaw. "It's _that_ shit I'm talking about. Does he think he can just…get away with it?"

"No, Zell. He's just not ready to talk about it, and I'm not going to try to force it out of him, either. He needs to approach me on his own. There's got to be a reason for his actions, don't you agree?"

Zell sighed, looking obstinate.

"I believe that there was a reason for what he did to me that day," Rinoa continued silently. "I have to believe that. Sure, I could hold a grudge against him, but how would that help me? If he was undercover, then that means he was on our side _the entire time_."

Zell set his jaw.

"The _entire_ time, Zell," Rinoa repeated, forcing him to look at her.

"Yeah. I know," he grumbled.

"If he was on our side, then there _has_ to be a reason for everything he did. I _have_ to believe that, Zell."

"But how can you _say_ that?" Zell tossed a hand up into the air. "I just…I don't get it! After what he's done to you?! How are you _not_ mad at him? Squall's fucking _pissed!_ Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about…I know Squall, and I know he wants to kill Seifer for what he did to you."

Rinoa sighed. She knew that even though Squall hadn't really talked about Seifer's return to anyone, including her, he was still harboring feelings of rage from that day. He'd tried to extract information out of Fujin and Raijin, but they didn't know much about the Adel incident any more than the rest of them did. The only one that really knew what happened that day was Seifer, and Squall refused to go to him for answers. The only reason he hadn't challenged Seifer for a fight was mostly because he believed Cid and Xu, but ultimately because Rinoa had begged him to give Seifer a chance. She had kept Squall's anger at bay for the most part…but she knew it was building. She could only hope that Quistis could get Seifer to open up in time.

"I'm not angry at him because I know what kind of person he is," Rinoa finally replied quietly. "I may not know him as well as you all do, but I know that he wouldn't do something like that. Not willingly. Not on purpose. At the time, I thought he was under a spell or something…but now, I know he was acting like that for a different reason. I could tell he didn't want to do it. He even hesitated."

Zell crossed his arms. "Tch."

"And he most definitely wasn't doing that to please Adel. Or Ultimecia."

"How do you know?"

"Think about it, Zell. Seifer never listened to anyone in Garden, right? He was always the problem child, right?"

"An understatement," Zell grumbled.

"Then why would he be a _slave_ to a sorceress?" Rinoa motioned with her hands. "Why would he humble himself and sacrifice the life he had to serve some random, strange woman that just appeared out of nowhere?"

Zell hesitated.

"Can you really see Seifer _choosing_ that over being a SeeD mercenary?" Rinoa crossed her arms and cocked her head at Zell. "Because _I_ can't. He may have always wanted to be a hero, and he may have always dreamed about leading armies, but he wasn't stupid. He wouldn't have left Garden to follow a creepy lady claiming to make dreams come true out of thin air. At least…that's how I see it."

Zell gritted his teeth but didn't reply. _Good point. Never thought of it that way. Seifer always was a dickhead. Makes sense he wouldn't listen to her, of all people._

"Can you imagine how he must've felt, to do all those things?" Rinoa asked.

Zell snorted. "Probably liked it."

"Just put yourself in his shoes for once. What he went through…it…must have been terrifying…"

Zell looked away and remained silent.

"Zell…you said once that you wanted to get revenge over Seifer's death. Well…what happened to that feeling?"

Zell didn't reply.

"I know you all think of him as one of your own…as a brother…deep down, don't you?"

Zell remained silent.

"I think it's because of that Garden-SeeD camaraderie," Rinoa continued, "that you look after each other no matter what. Don't you?"

Zell sighed.

"Don't you?"

"Yeah," he groaned almost inaudibly.

"Aren't you supposed to be teammates?"

"Maybe," he mumbled with a meek shrug.

"So give him the benefit of the doubt," Rinoa urged. "Please? For me? I know you can."

There was a long pause. Zell rolled his eyes as Rinoa gave him a funny face and finally cracked a grin. "Yeah, all right. For you. But if he initiates something, then it's on. No holds barred, okay?"

Rinoa smiled. "Fair enough. Now, get something to eat and come and hang out with us in the quad when you're done."

**_. . ._**

After emerging from Zell's room, Rinoa decided to make one last-minute stop in the dormitory wing before heading back to the quad. She glanced up and down the hallway to make sure there weren't any stragglers – it was possible that Seifer's mental evaluation by Quistis Trepe was still highly confidential – and made her way towards Quistis's room. After knocking lightly, she heard some quiet shuffling on the other side and the door slid open, revealing a surprised Quistis on the other side dressed in her usual outfit – a standard SeeD black skirt, a white button-up blouse, and…she was barefoot.

"Rinoa! Hi."

"Hi, Quistis. Look…I…um…I know you're busy…but I…" Rinoa glanced past Quistis and noticed that Seifer was on the couch. She blinked, did a double-take, and examined his posture closer. Her voice lowered into a whisper. "Is he sleeping?"

Quistis nodded. "He didn't get any sleep last night. This is the second time he's fallen asleep on that couch."

Rinoa grinned and bit her lip. "The second time?"

Quistis nodded again.

"That's cute," Rinoa whispered.

Quistis rolled her eyes. "I'm starting to wonder if he's doing it on purpose in order to avoid my questions."

"I always thought that 'being on the couch' was a figurative situation for a mental evaluation, not a literal one," Rinoa giggled softly.

Quistis glanced back at him and smiled softly. "Yes, well…he sleeps more than he talks, so I guess I'll have to work with what I've got."

Rinoa didn't say anything, but watched Quistis's expression as she was looking at a sleeping Seifer. She bit her lip again and smiled. "Well…I won't keep you, but…I just wanted to let you know that Zell was banned from the cafeteria this afternoon. He's onto you."

Quistis turned and grinned at Rinoa. "I knew it wouldn't take him long. I'm surprised he hasn't come here yet demanding justice."

"Well, he was about to, but I stopped him. I knew that you were busy with…" Rinoa glanced over again and smiled. "…yeah. It's a good thing I did, too. There's no telling what would've happened if Zell woke him up."

_A third world war, _Quistis thought. "Yeah. Thanks, Rinoa. I appreciate it."

Rinoa held up a small bag. "I brought you lunch, since we didn't see you in the cafeteria this afternoon."

"Oh! Thank you, Rinoa. That's really nice of you, but…Seifer already picked some up on his way over here."

Rinoa beamed. "Really? He got you lunch?"

Quistis nodded. "Can you believe it? I can't. He must be coming down with something."

"It must've been the cupcakes," Rinoa cocked her head and smiled at Quistis.

Quistis shrugged.

"Why did you do it?"

"I know it sounds strange, but I wanted to make up for his birthday last year. Just…something to remind him that I still remembered. That he wasn't alone out there."

Rinoa smiled and nodded. "Well…whatever you're doing, it seems to be working. We all saw him in the cafeteria earlier, and he looked…" Rinoa trailed off and shrugged. "…He looked good. Better."

"Well…good. I'm glad to hear it, because I'm going to have to deal with his 'better' attitude later."

Rinoa stepped back and waved. "All right, well, I'll see you later then?"

"Sure. Tonight I'll probably be back for dinner."

"Okay! Good luck with…" Rinoa motioned to the back of her room and grinned. "…all that."

Quistis smiled. "Thank you. Tell everyone I said hi…and that I'm just busy, and I'll see them all later."

**_. . ._**

"Make a wish, Irvy."

"I've made, like, five wishes already, hot stuff."

"Fine, then I'll make one." Selphie squeezed her eyes shut and clutched a small copper piece of gil to her chest, then flung it into the fountain and watched it sink to the bottom.

"What'd you wish for?"

"I can't tell you, because then it wouldn't come true!"

"Tell me you wished that I'd come by your room later tonight," Irvine winked. Selphie giggled.

They were all waiting for Rinoa in the center of the quad by the fountain. Irvine and Selphie were sitting down on the ledge by the water, while Squall remained standing with his arms crossed, watching the dormitory wing.

Squall glanced over at them. "You know, you're not supposed to put gil in there," he reminded Selphie flatly.

"Have another cup of coffee, mister grouchy pants," Selphie rolled her eyes. "The custodians pick it all up anyway and give it to the Garden fund."

"This is a military institution, not a shopping mall," Squall replied curtly.

"There he goes again," Selphie uttered to Irvine, not caring whether or not Squall heard her. "He's in one of his moods."

"What's up, Squall? You're not pissed about Rinoa babysitting Zell, are you?" Irvine asked. "It's her day, you know."

Squall shook his head and didn't reply.

_It's just…Ellone. Thinking about Sis too much. Maybe Rinoa's right. She is a special case, after all. I wonder if she got locked in time compression because of her powers. I wonder how she's doing…I think I'll go up and talk to Cid later about a trip to Esthar…_

_Nnngh, but then I'd have to put up with Laguna. Talk about being caught between a fucking rock and a hard place. I just want to see Sis…why am I obligated to contact him whenever I'm in the area, anyway? It's not like he ever tried to find me…and now I'm suddenly just supposed to accept him? Cid is my father. Edea is my mother. And Ellone is my sister. Nothing will change that. I don't care if it's not a typical family._

When Rinoa caught up with them, Squall uncrossed his arms and quirked a brow once he saw her cheerful expression.

"What is it? You didn't pinch Zell, did you?"

She shook her head and rolled her eyes. "No, I just talked with him. He's settled down. He's not in a murderous rage about Seifer, anymore, at least."

"Good. That's the last thing we need."

Rinoa leaned in and lowered her voice. "And I just came from Quistis's room."

Squall blinked. "And?"

Rinoa smiled at him. "And you were right – she's doing better than ever, now that Seifer's back."

**_. . ._**

An hour had passed since Rinoa's visit, and Seifer was still fast asleep on the sofa. He'd shown up at 1300 hours like he said he would, ate his food and made a smug comment about pissing Zell off, then abruptly removed his boots and was asleep within seconds. Like the previous day, Quistis quietly removed her boots, cleaned up Seifer's mess, and settled in her armchair to read a book. She was growing curious as to why he slept in her room and never in his – and ultimately deducted that perhaps his bed wasn't comfortable enough.

But no. They'd all been issued the exact same mattress, since basic furnishings were provided.

It was hard to believe that perhaps Seifer didn't want to be alone - but she dismissed that notion immediately. Seifer Almasy wasn't the sort of person to be scared of that sort of nonsense, and besides, he'd been under worse circumstances. Sleeping in his dormitory alone wasn't a sound reason for his lack of sleep.

_There's no way he's here for the company._

She shook her head and shrugged, turning her attention back to the book. That couch _was_ comfortable. He'd gone to sleep too quick for her to grab a pillow for him, but this time it didn't seem to matter. Although the couch was too short for him, he didn't seem to care. He was on his back with one knee bent against the sofa back and the other leg outstretched, an ankle dangling over the arm of the couch. It was nearing 1600 hours when Seifer twitched. The movement caught her eye and she glanced up.

He appeared fine, but his breathing was faster. She blinked and watched him for a few moments, but nothing had happened.

Her gaze darted back down to the book and she read a few more sentences when Seifer moaned.

She glanced back up again and suppressed a grin, relishing the fact that she would be finally able to tease him about hearing him moan and talk in his sleep – but her triumph was short-lived, as she immediately noticed the look on his face. His brows were furrowed and he was moving his head around more than usual. One hand had balled up into a fist and he uttered another quiet groan.

Quistis knew all too well what was going on. He was having a nightmare. The moaning and groaning meant that he was yelling…or even screaming…in his dream. She sighed, put the book down, took off her glasses, and walked over to the couch. She slowly sat by his side and put her hand on his shoulder.

"Hey."

_Poor, poor boy…_

_No. No, no…_

"Seifer, wake up."

_Such a confused little boy. Let me look at you._

_Fuck off. No. Get away from me._

Quistis squeezed his shoulder and shook him lightly. "Seifer? Wake up."

_Hideous wretch. Stupid little boy. Why must I do everything myself? I cannot rely on you. I shall kill all the SeeDs myself._

Seifer turned his head and moaned again, his legs slightly moving as if he were restless, but he didn't wake up. Quistis sighed and put her other hand on his other arm, tapping it lightly. Nope. No response. She squeezed it and caressed it, feeling slightly embarrassed, but looked down once she felt the raised slash of a fresh scar across his skin. She rubbed his muscular forearm with a thumb as she examined the scar closer. It was thick and still slightly pink, traveling from the outside of his wrist nearly all the way up to the inside of his elbow. She swallowed and sighed, squeezing his arm as if silently apologizing. The slash mark was from her whip.

He uttered another soft groan, however, that made her glance up and shake his shoulder again with her other hand.

"Seifer?"

It felt as if every muscle in his body had tensed, and she couldn't poke him or prod him enough to snap him out of whatever dream he was stuck in. Nothing she did really helped, and she had hesitated to get so close to him, but she finally brought her hand up to his face and patted it lightly.

"Seifer."

He uttered a quiet groan again and she heard his teeth grind. She moved her thumb back and forth across his cheek and tried to shake him once more.

"Seifer…wake up…"

_Come closer, boy. Let me look at you._

_Seifer was enveloped in darkness, but the familiar, echoing voice brought the cold, sour feeling back to his stomach. He gripped for Hyperion, but his actions were weighted down and everything seemed to be in slow motion. He tried to yell out, but his screams only came out as weak whispers._

_Then he caught a glimpse of it in the darkness. Blonde hair._

_As he walked further, the blonde hair seemed to belong to a tall girl…her back was to him…_

_He let out a breath. _

"_Quistis?"_

_I shall kill them all…all the SeeDs…_

_Seifer furrowed his brows. "Quistis?"_

_The woman turned around and…no…no…_

"_No!" he yelled. "No! Not you! NO!"_

_Quistis's eyes were glazed over with a reddish, grey sheen and purple veins were blossoming up around her cheekbones…her red lips turned up into an evil grin…_

Seifer suddenly opened his eyes and shot up, gripped her neck, and squeezed. Quistis let out a surprised choke and grabbed his wrist.

"Seifer…!"

"I won't let you take her," he growled.

"Seifer…it's me! Let go!"

He curled his lip and glared at her. She tried to swallow, but emitted another gasp and a cough instead. The look in his eyes was all too familiar…he was scared and he was angry and he was ready to fight, she knew. It was the way he'd always look before their battles. She felt his palm heat up, and immediately knew that he was junctioned.

"Seifer!" Quistis let out a hoarse cough and closed her eyes, forcing herself to breathe through her nose calmly. "Seifer, you were having a nightmare. It's me, Quistis! Seifer, it's all right! Let go!"

Seifer blinked. His palm cooled as he slowly loosened his fingers, but hesitated to release her.

"Quistis?"

"You were dreaming," she wheezed through her teeth. "Let go!"

He blinked again and his hard features softened into slight confusion. His grip loosened some more and his hand trailed down her neck to rest at her collarbone, but he still didn't remove it. Quistis took in a deep breath and coughed.

"Shit…" he clenched his teeth and blinked again, forcing the grogginess away. _Fuck. Why do I have a penchant for choking people after waking up? _He rubbed his eyes with the other hand and examined Quistis, automatically rubbing his thumb against her jawline and examing her neck. "Are you all right?"

Quistis glared at him and shoved his hand away. "You're _lucky_ you didn't cast that. It's against the rules to be junctioned inside Garden."

Seifer rolled his eyes. "I'll take that as a yes."

"I'm serious, Seifer. You were about to cast a high-level magic spell on me. I'm guessing Fira."

"Yeah, well, I didn't."

"That's not the point."

"What _is_ your point, Trepe?"

"What were you thinking?"

Seifer grinned. "You mean, why didn't I use Firaga instead?"

Quistis narrowed her eyes at him. "I _meant_ that you're in no condition to be junctioned right now!"

Seifer's expression darkened. "Wanna bet?"

"Seifer, you were ready to unleash a serious attack after a _nightmare!_ You can't be junctioned! Simple as that!"

Seifer narrowed his eyes at her. "What, am I too unstable, Trepe?"

"_You were about to set me on fire!"_ she snapped. "I would categorize you as somewhat unstable, _yes!_"

"Yeah, well, I'm not about to go anywhere unarmed. You're gonna have to try to fuckin' draw it all out of me, because I'm not unjunctioning."

"Seifer, the Garden rules explicitly state - "

"I don't give a _shit_ about the rules."

Quistis rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "That's been obvious from the get-go."

"After all the shit we've been through, do you really go around Garden unjunctioned?" Seifer glared at her incredulously. "What are you, insane?"

"We're not at war anymore. We're inside a military complex, for Hyne's sake."

Seifer snorted. "I guess the whole deal about a crazy sorceress possessing the only woman we'd ever had as a mother – and who happens to be _married_ to the _Headmaster_ of this _military complex_ – sorta slipped your mind, didn't it?"

Quistis grit her teeth and exhaled through her nostrils.

"Never mind that there's another sorceress running around right under our noses," Seifer motioned with his hand. "Shit, everything's all hunky-dory, eh? Don't junction. Fuck, talk about ass-backwards. If being junctioned inside of Garden's walls is subject to disciplinary action, then I'm in the wrong fucking place, aren't I? That's like asking a soldier not to carry his weapon when he's on duty."

Quistis sighed and watched him for a long moment. She remained silent, yet loathed the fact that he had a good point. A very good point.

"All right. Fine. Whatever. I don't even know what else you've got junctioned, and I don't _want_ to know…just…be careful, will you?"

"Always."

"Do you have Triple?"

"I thought you said you didn't want to know," he replied with a slight smirk.

"Just answer the question."

"Of course I've got fucking Triple. And Firaga, and Flare, and - "

Quistis shook her head. "That's unacceptable, Seifer."

"To who? You? I don't _care_. I'm not unjunctioning."

She let out a little growl. "Fine. Just don't go around casting your ass off."

"Wouldn't dream of it, instructor."

Quistis narrowed her eyes and ignored the nickname. "Speaking of dreams…what on earth were you dreaming about?"

Seifer clenched his jaw and looked away. "When I woke up, I thought you were someone else. That's all."

She crossed her arms. "Is that so?"

Seifer narrowed his eyes at her. "That's right."

"You said, 'I won't let you take her.' What's that mean?"

"What?"

"'I won't let you take her.' That's what you said to me the minute you woke up. What did you mean by that? Were you dreaming about Matron?"

He shrugged and looked away again. "I don't know, Trepe."

Somehow, she didn't believe him. "It was _your_ dream."

"A dream that obviously didn't make sense," Seifer snapped, suddenly defensive. "Or it was a nightmare. Hell, I don't know. Drop it."

Quistis sighed and relented, knowing that she'd had plenty of the same, and there was no point in prying.

After a long pause, Seifer ran a hand through his hair and sighed. _Fucking Ultimecia._ His eyes darted to her neck. "Did I hurt you?"

Quistis blinked, surprised at the question, but she immediately recovered with a nonchalant shrug. "Well, you didn't execute the spell, so it could have been a lot worse."

Seifer narrowed his eyes again. "You didn't answer the question. I said, are you hurt?"

Quistis Trepe would not, in a million years, admit that her neck was sore from someone's grip after waking up from a nightmare. Especially Seifer Almasy. She could have retaliated with any number of self-defense tactics, but she didn't because she knew he wasn't deliberately trying to attack her. Still, her hesitation to act was embarrassing for a SeeD, and she didn't want to admit that he was stronger than her, even when he was asleep. "I'm fine," she replied frigidly.

Without warning, Seifer sat forward and put his palm on her neck again. She recoiled in automatic self-defense, but the combined warmth and cooling effect the cure spell had stopped her from shoving him away and she watched him with surprise. He gazed back at her with an unfamiliar look in his eyes that made her flush.

"There," he murmured. "Happy?"

Quistis swallowed, licked her lips, and tried to ignore the sudden pounding in her chest and the sensation of his touch. Once he gave her a smug grin, however, she came to her senses and narrowed her eyes at him. He was showing off.

"You've junctioned white magic, too?"

"Got that right."

"Hyne, Seifer..."

"Oh, stop complaining. That cure spell seemed pretty handy, didn't it?"

"I wouldn't have needed it in the first place if you hadn't - "

"You're _welcome_, Trepe. Fuck."

"You _should_ be _apologizing_. And I wish you would just follow the junctioning rules."

"Oh yeah? What are you going to do, Trepe? Demote me?" He was still grinning and his proximity to her, which was closer than normal, wasn't helping things. She felt disarmed and vulnerable, and even worse, there was a tiny bit of her that almost enjoyed the strange rush she got from his attention. She looked away and swallowed, stiffening her posture.

"Maybe we should get started."

Seifer's grin disappeared and he rolled his eyes. "Great. Fucking yippee."

"Come on, Seifer. You said it yourself. The quicker we get started, the faster we get it overwith."

"Yeah, yeah."

Quistis slowly stood up and grabbed the notebook and pen, which were sitting on the coffee table. Seifer sat forward and dug out another cupcake that had been sitting with a few leftovers in the paper bag. He peeled off the wrapper and ate silently as Quistis sat down, trying to think about where to start. She most definitely didn't want to begin where they left off yesterday, which had ended in complete disaster. Instead, she thought about engaging him in light conversation before diving deeper into something painful. Then she suddenly thought of her conversation with Dr. Kadowaki a few days back about his 'list.'

"_Quistis," Dr. Kadowaki adjusted her glasses, "what do you think Seifer meant when he spoke of a 'list?'"_

_Quistis shook her head. "I have no idea. To be honest, I didn't give it much thought. He was head of the disciplinary committee that year…I wouldn't be surprised if he was putting together some sort of 'punishment' list or something. Who knows."_

"_But you…?" Dr. Kadowaki lifted an eyebrow._

_Quistis shrugged. "He always had it out for me."_

_Dr. Kadowaki gave Quistis a cryptic smile. "I doubt that, honey."_

Quistis tapped her pen against her cheek and sat back in her armchair, crossing her legs. "Seifer, what's 'the list'?"

"Huh?"

"Last year you mentioned a list. Do you remember?"

Seifer blinked.

Quistis sighed. "Right before the SeeD field exam you told Raijin to add me to 'the list.'"

"Oh. The list." Seifer snorted. _That fucking stupid thing._ "Why do you care?"

"I'm curious. What was it supposed to be?"

"Nothing important."

She blinked, waiting for him to elaborate, but he didn't say anything more. After a pause, she bit her lip. "Well…could you be more specific?"

Seifer rolled his eyes. "It was a long time ago, Trepe. It was just…something stupid I used to do."

"What?"

He sighed audibly. "You're not going to quit asking, are you?"

"I just want to know."

He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. "It was a list of people that I was gonna…" he trailed off and shrugged.

Quistis remained silent and waited for him to continue.

He stared at the cupcake wrapper and started to fold it in half, then folded it in half again, then folded it again until it was almost a tiny ball. He shrugged again. "It was sort of a to-do list, except it was a list of people I wanted to prove wrong. People I wanted to show up. People I wanted to beat. Yadda yadda yadda."

She stared at him in surprise. "Really?"

"Yeah. So what? Why do you ask now?"

"I don't know, it's just…" She wasn't ready to tell him that 'the list' came up in one of her sessions with Dr. Kadowaki. She didn't want to let him know that they'd been talking about him. "I just thought about it and started to wonder, that's all. I thought it was a punishment list or something."

Seifer raised an eyebrow at her. "You thought I wanted to _punish_ you?"

Quistis grinned and shrugged. "I don't know what I thought, really."

"You're a dirty girl, instructor."

"Whatever. You were on the disciplinary committee. I thought maybe that's what it was for."

Seifer didn't reply.

"So…you wanted to prove me wrong?" Quistis asked him quietly.

Seifer looked away. "I don't know. I was pissed off. I guess the only thing I could do in retaliation was to add you to 'the list,'" he made quotation signs with his fingers, "but in retrospect, it was just a stupid thing I put together. I sure as hell don't need it now. I don't even remember who else was on it."

"_Instructor. Save those words for a bad student that needs them, eh?"_

"_All right then, Seifer. Good luck."_

Quistis chewed the inside of her cheek. "Still…I shouldn't have said those things to you that day, Seifer. Not before the SeeD field exam. I probably deserved to be on your list."

"Trepe, the list doesn't even exist anymore. Drop it."

"Why did you start it?"

Seifer rolled his eyes. "Look, I don't know. I failed three SeeD field exams in a row. It was a little hard to scrape up motivation after that. Thus, the list." He shook his head and waved a hand. "It doesn't matter anymore."

"I can't understand how you could possibly fail that many times. Were you doing it on purpose?"

Seifer glared at her. "No."

"You have the ambition, the strength, and the brains," Quistis retorted. "Why wouldn't you just listen to simple orders?"

"Because I was always placed on squads with _sheep_. Besides, real missions don't work that way. The field exams are absolute crap. Still are. They're still putting cadets out on the streets during political spats around twenty minutes a pop, aren't they? Make 'em stay out there long enough to shit their pants, then withdraw?"

Quistis remained silent.

"I wouldn't cooperate because _that's not how it works_," Seifer replied venomously. "They're setting those rookies up for failure by promoting them after completing a fake mission. Nobody in a field exam ever engages the enemy, nor do they really see any combat, nor do they aid a cause. It's a joke. It's simply a gopher mission. Why do you think you passed on your first try, Trepe? You're good at listening to orders. All you had to do was follow a simple step-by-step bullshit protocol and wham, bam, thank you ma'am, you're in the SeeD club. Good for you."

Quistis swallowed. He was right.

"Squall and the others got promoted after _following_ me," Seifer said darkly. "I simply led the way and tried to investigate what the fuck was going on and still flunked the damn exam, according to you and Xu."

Quistis furrowed her brows in confusion. "Who told you that?"

"Cid did. Last year. Said that your report stated I failed."

"My report was thorough, and I described exactly what had happened in detail, but there wasn't anything in it that suggested you be held back another year," Quistis shook her head.

Seifer blinked. "What?"

"You must have heard Cid incorrectly."

"He said that the decision to withhold me from SeeD status was unanimous after reading your reports."

"And that decision is made by Cid and the board, not by me or Xu," Quistis replied. "We're allowed to voice our opinion, but we have no say in the final vote."

Seifer leaned back and crossed his arms, silent. _Damn. Didn't know that._ "So…what was your opinion, Trepe?"

She shrugged.

There was a long pause.

Seifer narrowed his eyes. "Hey! What was your opinion?"

Quistis looked up and raised an eyebrow. "Why does it matter?"

He set his jaw, annoyed. He _hated_ that shit…but then he noticed the twinkle in her eyes. _She's fucking with me. _He narrowed his eyes at her and crossed his arms. "C'mon, Trepe."

"I had been trying to pass you for the past two years, ever since I was appointed to be an instructor."

He raised his brow and blinked. _No way._

Quistis nonchalantly took out her glasses and started jotting the current date down in her notebook. She almost smiled at his reaction, but maintained control. "Okay, Seifer. Let's start with your time at Galbadia Garden."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a second, Trepe. Stop right there. You were trying to _pass_ me? You recommended my SeeD promotion to the board?"

"After your last two field exams, yes."

He stared at her in surprise. "…Why?"

"Why not?"

Seifer opened his mouth and closed it. For the longest time, even after failing the exams, he'd been confident enough to tell himself that he was still better than the others, but besides the support from Fujin and Raijin, nobody else had seemed to think so. He'd had no idea that Quistis was vouching for him.

_After the SeeD field exam, Zell had run off to the cafeteria to eat as much as he could possibly stomach, but Squall and Seifer remained near the fountain in the center of the quad, waiting for the announcements to be made. Quistis and Xu weren't far off, finishing their written reports and waiting for Cid._

"_Did you hear about the communication tower in Dollet?" Seifer asked Squall, crossing his arms. "We would have been heroes if it weren't for that order to withdraw."_

_Squall didn't reply._

"_You were only looking for a fight," Quistis rolled her eyes and shook her head as she continued to jot down notes on her clipboard, finishing up her report._

_Seifer blinked, pretenting to be shocked. "My dear instructor, I'm hurt. Those are rather cruel words for an aspiring student." He narrowed his eyes and grinned at her. "A mediocre instructor like you will never understand."_

_Quistis opened her mouth and was about to respond when Xu stepped up and cut in._

"_Seifer, don't be so stuck on yourself," Xu put her hands on her hips and narrowed her eyes at him. "You'll take all the responsibility for leaving the designated area."_

_Seifer glared at her darkly, his grin disappearing. "Isn't it the captain's duty to take the best possible action?"_

"_Seifer, you'll never be a SeeD," Xu retorted nastily. Quistis glanced up and stepped forward, shooting Xu a warning glance, but Xu ignored her. "Calling yourself a captain is a joke."_

_With that, she swirled around and walked away. Quistis sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, then noticed the Headmaster approaching. She straightened and acknowledged him, walking away from Seifer and Squall to speak to him about the field exam._

_Squall glanced over at Seifer out of the corner of his eye, who was staring at the floor with an angry expression on his face. He sighed and crossed his arms, feeling slightly sympathetic for him. Seifer looked up at Quistis, but her back was turned, so he glanced over at Squall and scowled._

"_What are you looking at?"_

"You were good, Seifer. Real good. It was just your arrogance. There wasn't much I could do about _that_," Quistis admitted.

Seifer sat back and stared, at a loss for words. He scrutinized Quistis as if he'd never really known her before. There was a long pause. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Quistis looked up from the notebook. "You never asked. Besides…you never really gave me the chance, did you?"

…_Huh. Note to self. Suck up to the instructor._

"It's obvious Cid came around," Quistis shrugged and looked back down. "I know he saw your potential. Otherwise he wouldn't have put you on that mission."

Seifer snorted. "Yeah. Ironic. I passed only to be put on the most difficult and fucked up mission ever known."

Quistis raised an eyebrow. "Do you regret his decision to promote you?"

He glanced at her. To be honest, he wasn't sure. He doubted there was such a thing as a sheltered, cozy life within Garden if he'd never pass on to SeeD. In fact, if he had never been put on that mission in the first place…

"Nah. Just…fucked up. That's all. Fucked up how things worked out."

Quistis nodded. _Yeah._

"So…where'd we leave off yesterday?" Seifer gave her a mischivious grin. "I mean, aside from our little spat."

Quistis glanced at him and cleared her throat. "Um…yeah…" She glanced down at her notes and realized that she was too angry yesterday to write down where they'd finished. Her gaze darted towards the recorder on the table and she leaned forward to grab it, hesitant to rewind and replay the entire conversation from yesterday.

Seifer cocked his head and grinned at her. "I think we were talking about your nonexistent lesbian love life when you snapped up and down my ass."

Quistis sighed and put a hand to her forehead. _So much for being subtle._ "You don't sugar-coat it, do you?"

He held out his arms, palms up. "Hey. It's me."

She shook her head but couldn't help but grin. For some reason, the anger and frustration from yesterday had completely dissipated between the two of them and they were now joking about the very thing that had caused their fight in the first place.

"Before we got off topic, what were we _really_ trying to discuss?" Quistis pressed the _record_ button, thankful that Seifer wasn't throwing a fit about her questions this time around and somewhat surprised at his cooperation.

"You're the therapist, Trepe. Don't you remember?"

"I'm not a therapist, Seifer. I'm just trying to help you."

"Whatever. Same thing."

She ignored him. "Mmm…we left off at the time gap between Fisherman's Horizon…and the Balamb missile strike…" Quistis thought to herself. "You were in Galbadia during that time?"

Seifer nodded. "After I left the D-district prison, I went back to Deling City to rally the troops. Give orders. Shit like that."

"The next time we saw you…" Quistis thought out loud as she tapped her pen against her leg. Seifer followed the movement and his gaze traveled down, slowly examining her crossed leg, from the knee to the ankle…

…When the hell did she take her boots off?

He cocked his head. Quistis in bare feet was kind of…cute.

"…Galbadia Garden was spotted in Balamb, but you weren't anywhere to be seen," Quistis continued. "When we tried to investigate further, you must have already left."

"That's correct."

"Can you tell me what happened before that, then? How did you get control of Galbadia Garden?"

"When I reached Deling City, that's when Edea ordered me to attack Galbadia Garden and to wipe out the SeeDs so she could use it as her base," Seifer replied. "I was ordered to take a brigade there and clean house, then she'd arrive later with her entourage."

"What about Martine?"

Seifer explained how he'd conviced the headmaster to evacuate Galbadia Garden and to hide out in the wilderness until further notice. Quistis raised an eyebrow.

"Just like that? And he willingly withdrew?"

"It took some convincing, but yeah. Better than three-hundred-plus dead SeeDs. Martine got the picture pretty quick after I painted it for him."

"And then afterwards, you and the Galbadian army moved into the Garden?"

Seifer nodded.

"Then what?"

Seifer set his jaw and sighed. _We sat on our ass and waited…for her…_

_Martine and his cadets left quickly and quietly, not leaving a trace behind them as they slunk into the shadows to camp out until further notice. Not abandoning their guard, however, they had all spread out over the region to keep tabs and communications open for any suspicious activity. If Seifer had managed to fail, and if the sorceress would somehow advance forward with the intent to hunt down and destroy every SeeD, the Galbadian cadets would be ready._

_Just as quickly was the infiltration of the Garden. Galbadian soldiers staked out their positions wordlessly and covered all openings, went through most of the blueprints, weapons arsenals, and started moving in the battlecycles. They knew it was only a matter of time before the sorceress would order the first invasion, and so they prepped accordingly. Seifer and his captains, however, had nothing else to do but to wait for Edea's arrival._

_The anticipation was agonizing. He loathed how slow the time went by. Every second he had dwelled on how she would kill him – or at least torture him – after she would hear about their arrival to an empty Garden. He hoped that his ruse would work. That the SeeDs had escaped before they even got there…and that she wouldn't try to advance._

_If she decides to kill me…at least maybe I'll have a chance at trying to get her first…if I go, then I'll do Matron a favor and take her out with me…_

"_Sir! It's Edea's escort! She's coming!"_

_Seifer managed to swallow back down the swell of bile and forced a loud, barking order out instead. "Take your positions. Roll out the welcome mat." The statement was full of dread rather than precedence._

"_Yes, sir."_

_They were all standing at attention in the quad, as if they were greeting a prominent diplomat instead of a deadly murderer. Edea entered swiftly and quietly, her black fabric swooshing at her feet, and she looked around with narrowed eyes, immediately angry upon the cleanliness of the place. There were no dead bodies. There wasn't any blood. She fixed her intense gaze upon Seifer and curled her lips into a snarl._

"_Where are they?" she demanded. "Where are the SeeDs?"_

_Seifer bowed. "They're not here, Edea."_

_Edea narrowed her eyes and jutted her head forward, as if she hadn't heard him correctly._

"_What?"_

"_They escaped before we arrived," Seifer replied. "Martine was anticipating our arrival, and - "_

_Swiftly, Edea charged forward and struck him. "Imbecile!" she screamed. "Unacceptable! How dare you shamelessly display your utter failure to me!"_

_She immediately thrust her fingers forward and every muscle in Seifer's body froze as he bellowed out a pained growl. Bolts of electricity spread throughout his body and his teeth clenched as his limbs spasmed, white-hot pain coursing in him and through him as if a thousand knives were stabbing him and slicing him, over and over again._

_This is it. I'm going to die._

_The searing pain disappeared and he collapsed onto the hard, cold concrete. It felt as if every bone in his body hit the floor with extra weight and pain shot up through his limbs once again. He struggled to find his breath, and after a brief moment, his lungs finally gained their function back and he sucked in a sharp breath, only to choke on it in pain and cough. Every muscle twitched, and his arms shook violently as he tried to prop himself back up. A faint smell entered his nostrils and he realized that it was the smell of his own singed flesh, hair, and clothing. Galbadian soldiers shifted their feet nervously but hesitated to help him up, too afraid of Edea._

"_Get up, boy," she snarled. "Get up so I can look at you."_

_Bitch._

_Seifer flexed his fingers, forcing the feeling to come back into his hands, increasing the blood flow, and tried to haul himself up. With shaky knees, he ungracefully stumbled up and glared at Edea. His lip was split from her previous blow and thin, purple bruises were already starting to spider their way through his skin from the electrocution burns._

_A flash of red and the burning, tingling feeling erupting in his skull that followed told Seifer that he'd just been hit again. He opened his eyes, blinked, and straightened to glare at her once more._

"_Your blatant impertinence vexes me, boy," Edea said in a low voice. "I'm beginning to think that you're a complete waste; a useless product of Garden that exists solely to crawl in the festering pits of this earth, not even amounting to the worth of a slave."_

"_I am not a SeeD, Edea," he replied darkly. "I am not one of them."_

"_Yet you cannot even capture them!" she screamed again, shoving the lightning bolts into his body again, lifting him up off his feet. This time, Seifer had enough air in his lungs to elicit a hoarse scream before he had nothing left to give. He was suffocating from not being able to breathe the air; his lungs and abdomen seized, but he was surely dying from the pain; his teeth clenched and grit until he could taste the blood in his mouth and the white hot bolts of electricity spread through his skull all the way down to the tips of his toes until he couldn't feel anything but agony._

_Sheer agony._

_Edea had stopped her magic minutes ago, but he was still lying on the ground, black and white spots exploding in front of his eyes, wondering when the pain would stop. He tried to move and grimaced._

"_Nnnngggghhhhhrrrr…"_

"_Stand up, you abominable little wretch," she snapped._

_Matron…_

_No…no…Matron's gone…get up…get up…get up or she'll kill you…_

"_Away!" Edea barked at the Galbadian soldiers, who had shuffled forward to assist their leader. "Do not help him!" She glowered down at Seifer. "If your fate is to die here, in a disgusting Garden where you were spawned, then so be it, boy."_

_No…_

"_Gather your forces immediately and hunt them all down," Edea shouted to the surrounding troops. "Kill every SeeD in your path!"_

_No…damn it, damn it…think…get up…_

"_Did you not hear me?" She hissed at them, angry at their hesitation. "Make haste at once, before they get too far!"_

_Not…yet…_

"_Ellone…" Seifer forced the word out of his lungs._

_Edea blinked down at him. "What?"_

_The Galbadian soldiers halted._

_Seifer winced and dragged himself halway up, pausing to breathe, and propped his body up with his elbows. Pins and needles were still poking and prodding him._

"_I…I know…where Ellone is…"_

_Edea cocked her head to a Galbadian soldier, who strode forward to help Seifer up. He growled out a wince and tried to stand on his own, but his legs were barely working. Edea stepped forward and grabbed his chin, turning it forcefully to face her._

"_What did you say, boy?"_

"_Balamb…Garden…" Seifer groaned and winced between breaths, "…has Ellone. They're hiding her. We can…" he winced, "…we can go after them."_

_Edea narrowed her eyes. "Indeed?"_

"_Garden," Seifer breathed, "Garden can fly. Garden…has mechanics…we can…go to Balamb…"_

_Edea's frown turned into a smile. "Why, my Knight," she whispered sweetly, "why didn't you say so?"_

_Fuck…you…_

"_Help him," Edea ordered the Galbadian soldiers. "Heal our Knight immediately. We must ensure that he is in excellent condition when we hunt down the Balamb SeeDs, do we not?" She stepped closer and caressed Seifer's cheek. He grimaced in pain and tried to turn his head away._

"_You had better be right, boy," she hissed in a menacing voice, although she was still smiling. "You have proved yourself thus far, but if you fail again, death will be but a merciful gesture compared to what I have in store."_

_Seifer was too weak to retaliate. All he could do was endure her horrible touch and listen to her scathing whispers. Matron was slowly slipping further away as Ultimecia was gaining more control over her mind. They were running out of time._

_Edea nodded to the Galbadian soldier holding Seifer up. "Take him away. We shall depart for Balamb immediately."_

Seifer stared at the floor. He didn't know it then, but he had changed gradually after that. He had stared at the woman who he'd admired and cherished and loved as a mother with newfound hatred and dread and guilt and fear. It was a terrible, cold feeling that he'd started to constantly feel in the pit of his stomach every time he saw her. Her presence bothered him. Her posture bothered him. Her eyes bothered him. Even after Ultimecia had released her hold on Matron, he couldn't bring himself to look at her. He'd wanted to kill her so many times, and he'd hated himself for thinking that and he'd hated himself for never following through on it. It was an awful feeling, but he couldn't figure out if he was a good son for wanting to put her out of her misery or a terrible human being for wanting to rid himself of her.

Constantly he had tried to remind himself that it wasn't Matron. It wasn't Matron. That a monster had taken over her mind and body and was making her do horrible things…but eventually, it didn't matter any more. It was still Edea's shell that had invaded his dreams. It was still Edea's cracked voice and haggard whispers he had heard, and it was still her touch that he had felt. He'd gotten physically sick so many times due to the overwhelming sadness and anger and fear of it all…

There was a long silence. Quistis watched the look on his face. It was the same look she'd seen up in Cid's office, when he had first appeared in front of them in his SeeD uniform. When Matron came out to plead with them on his behalf, Seifer's face turned ashen and he had averted his gaze.

"She had tried everything in her power to keep Ultimecia from doing worse things," Quistis finally said softly.

Seifer set his jaw and shrugged weakly. "Yeah. Well. That's what I kept telling myself, anyway."

Quistis looked down and stared at her notepad. She refrained from writing anything down in order to avoid any angry, paranoid outbursts from Seifer, and simply because she knew that Matron had an obvious effect on him. She had an effect on all of them. She didn't need to write anything.

She softly cleared her throat and decided to keep things moving to steer the conversation away from Matron. "Did you know that Ellone was on board Balamb Garden?"

"No. It was a bluff. But I knew it'd get Edea to you guys," Seifer replied. "I had no fucking clue who Ellone was supposed to be, or why Ultimecia wanted her. It was only until I actually saw her that I realized where she was from… I barely recognized her from the orphanage." Seifer crossed his arms and snorted. "I didn't know she was Sis at first. I practically forgot what she looked like; Leonhart clung to her so much when we were kids. I hardly ever hung out with her." He glanced at Quistis and smirked. "I was always stuck with you."

"_Stuck_ with me?" Quistis rolled her eyes. "You say it as if you didn't have a choice. You constantly teased me, Seifer. You _never_ left me alone."

"Oh, you liked it," Seifer countered with a grin. "You _loved_ telling people what to do. Especially me. If I acted up, you'd always try to set my ass straight. Never worked, but…"

"Hmph. Well, you always came back for more. Almost like you _wanted_ me to nag at you," Quistis rolled her eyes. "Even in class. You acted up _all_ the time."

Seifer fold his hands behind his head. "What can I say? You're a fucking pushover."

She sighed and shook her head. "All right. Back to the issue at hand. I'm assuming that Edea took the bait once you mentioned Ellone, correct?"

"Yes."

"Once we returned to Balamb from Fisherman's Horizon…" Quistis flipped back a few pages in her notebook and checked something. "The date…was…"

"November," Seifer rubbed his chin. "I don't remember the exact date. Time got sort of…pointless after that."

"12 November," Quistis confirmed, reading some notes. "Squall filed a report stating that Fujin and Raijin were following your orders and placed in command of a Galbadian platoon…?" she glanced up at Seifer.

He chuckled. "Yeah."

"So…how did that happen?"

"By the time we got to Balamb, the Garden was already gone. Edea was furious and she pretty much threatened to burn the whole damn town down unless someone would speak up about where you guys were headed. Nobody could give any information, obviously, except for the fact that a flying Garden nearly crashed into the town and landed in the sea, eventually drifting south. That's when I ran into Fujin and Raijin. Balamb Garden must have returned within a few days after our arrival."

_Seifer ran a hand though his hair and continued to walk down the cobblestoned streets, flanked by three or four lieutenants. They were conducting door-to-door interrogations, asking the citizens if they've witnessed a flying Garden and if they've seen a young woman named Ellone, giving descriptions and asking for any conspicuous behavior. The people of Balamb weren't very cooperative, however, and Seifer couldn't blame them. Once they reached Ma Dincht's house, they were practically chased back out with a butcher knife._

_No wonder Zell's such a spaz. That woman is scary._

_He sighed in frustration. What a fucking awesome day. Balamb escapes the missiles but now they're nowhere to be found. I'm at another dead end. Edea's going to go bat fucking crazy and kill me with her bare hands. _

"_Continue to interrogate the civilians," he grunted at the troops. "I'm going to go to the train station and hold all in- and out-bound trains. Put a squad out by the docks, as well. This whole town is on lockdown. Nobody comes in or out."_

"_Yes, sir."_

_Seifer pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit one with his palm, taking in a long drag and exhaling as he walked down the street towards the train station._

_Fuck. Think. There's got to be something…_

"_Seifer?!"_

_Seifer glanced up and blinked. Fujin and Raijin were standing in front of him, looking just as surprised._

_Raijin grinned and took a step forward. "Woww, ya know?! How are ya doin', ya know?!?! Haven't seen you in forever, ya know?!?"_

_Seifer grinned but immediately remembered who he was supposed to be, so he cleared his throat and turned serious. He stepped forward and said in a low voice, "Keep it down, Rai. Not here."_

"_DISCREET," Fujin added._

_Raijin immediately straightened and nodded, sobering up. "Sure…yeah…"_

_Seifer looked around and cocked his head towards the train station. "Follow me."_

_They swiftly walked to the train station without uttering a word. Seifer took a back route, which led behind the ticket booths and maintenance trucks towards a few detached train cars stacked on parallel rails that weren't in use. Once they were safely out of earshot and eyeshot and stood between two large empty train cars, Seifer and Raijin shook hands and then Fujin gave him a small hug._

"_OKAY?" Fujin asked him._

_Seifer snorted. "I'm still alive. Things are pretty damn turbulent, though. What the hell are you guys doing here?"_

"_Cid told us to come out here, ya know? Told us to keep an eye out for you, ya know?"_

_Seifer let out a sigh of relief. "And Garden? Is everyone okay?"_

"_SAFE," Fujin nodded._

"_Look, I don't have a lot of time, but I need you guys to do something for me."_

"_ANYTHING."_

"_Yeah, we'll do whatever ya want, ya know? We're a posse, ya know?"_

"_Tell Cid that Matron is out to hunt down all the SeeDs," Seifer relayed quickly. "She's running a damn worldwide extermination operation. And on top of that, she's looking for Ellone."_

_Fujin and Raijin exchanged confused glances. "Uh, you're not makin' much sense, ya know?"_

"_Yeah, I know, but just tell him, okay?"_

"_AFFIRMATIVE."_

"_Look, Seifer, do you wanna tell us what's goin' on? We've been worried, ya know?"_

_Seifer shook his head. "It's better if you don't know, Rai. Just trust me. Get the message to Cid, will you?"_

"_Sure, ya know? Matron is out on a SeeD hunt and she's looking for Ellone. Got it."_

"_DANGER?" Fujin asked._

"_Not yet," Seifer admitted. "But the sorceress is pretty serious about this killing spree. You guys don't happen to know where Ellone is, do you?"_

_They both shook their heads. "Don't even know _who_ she is, ya know?"_

_Seifer nodded. "Okay. Good. Where's Balamb Garden now?"_

"_Just got back to the mainland not too long ago, ya know?" Raijin replied. "They're checkin' out the missile damage, but Cid sent us out here the minute we all landed, ya know? There's already talk about Garden deploying to Trabia to see if everyone's okay, ya know?"_

"_PROMOTION," Fujin added._

"_Yeah, Squall's been named the commander, ya know?" Raijin nodded. "Cid promoted him to lead Garden against the sorceress, ya know?"_

_Seifer crossed his arms. Good. Maybe Squall will pull his head out of his ass and come find me. All he needs is a little push…in the right direction…_

"_Does Squall know you guys are out here?"_

"_NEGATIVE."_

"_Just Cid, ya know? But they're probably going to send a team out here soon, ya know? Everyone saw Galbadia Garden floating out here, ya know?"_

_Seifer gritted his teeth. Yeah. Subtle is my middle name. _

…_At least Squall will finally come after me. Maybe they'll engage the sorceress and this fucking nightmare will end…_

…_Shit. Once Edea spots B-Garden, all hell is going to break loose. I've got to take G-Garden out of the area. There are too many innocent people around here…she might take hostages…or they'll be caught in the crossfire…she'll level the fucking town and kill everything that moves…we can't fight here…and Cid needs to be updated on the situation…_

"_Listen," Seifer said in a low voice. "I've got to get out of here quick, before something major happens. I need you to distract the SeeD team if they come sniffing around so I can get a head start."_

_Fujin and Raijin nodded._

"_I'll put you in control of a Galbadian unit," Seifer instructed them. "Sit idle for awhile, at least."_

"_ORDERS?"_

"_Do whatever you want," Seifer shrugged. "Pretend you're looking for Ellone. Harass the townspeople. Shop. Fish. I don't give a fuck. Just delay the Garden departure, all right?"_

_Fujin and Raijin looked at each other. "Er…we're not sure we get it, ya know?"_

"_What's there to get, Rai?" Seifer pulled out another cigarette and lit it. "It's just like being on the disciplinary committee. Give orders and make sure these people stay in line. That's about it."_

"_SIMPLE."_

"_Yeah, we can do that, ya know? But, uh…how long d'ya want us to stay here, ya know?"_

"_You said B-Garden might go to Trabia, right?"_

"_LIKELY."_

"_Just stick around and watch the town until they're ready to leave. Then give Cid your report."_

_Fujin and Raijin nodded. "Whatever you say, man. We'll get it done, ya know?"_

"_Thanks. I knew I could count on you guys." Seifer started to walk away and yelled over his shoulder, "Head towards the Balamb Inn. I'll let the captains know the situation and they'll meet up with you there. I've got to get G-Garden out of here."_

"_W-wait, Seifer! We haven't seen you since Deling City, ya know? What's the hurry, ya know?"_

"_I'm double-parked," Seifer barked sarcastically._

_Fujin snickered._

_Raijin rubbed the back of his head and stepped forward. "Yo, Seifer! What do we do if we see the commander, ya know?"_

_Seifer stopped, turned around, grinned, and narrowed his eyes. "Give him a little incentive to chase after me. Kick his ass." _

"Those two will listen to anything you say," Quistis shook her head and sighed. "They sure gave Squall a hard time."

"So? They both deserve a fucking medal. They helped me out when I was in some pretty tight spots. Cid knew he could trust them, above everyone else, to listen to me without questions." Seifer crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes. "Hyne knows _you_ bozos wouldn't give me the time of day."

Quistis sighed, sensing the defensive tone in his voice. "I didn't mean to say that as a derogatory thing, Seifer."

"Sounded like it."

"I'm just impressed, that's all."

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

Quistis inhaled sharply and leaned forward to turn off the recorder. "I'm _impressed_ that you three work so well as a functional unit! Hyne, last year all you did was bully the junior classmen, so forgive me when I say that it was hard to believe you could strategically implement a highly-confidential covert operation right in front of other professional SeeD members without them even noticing, let alone execute the whole thing flawlessly from start to finish."

"Those are a lot of fancy words, Trepe."

Quistis narrowed her eyes. "You know exactly what I meant."

Seifer smirked. "Are you complimenting me, instructor?"

Quistis set her jaw and ignored the nickname. "They're few and far in between. Enjoy it while it lasts."

He grinned and put his hands behind his head, leaning back.

Quistis hit the _play_ button and scratched her head. "Okay…so you placed Fujin and Raijin in command of a platoon and left Balamb on lockdown?"

"That's correct. The townspeople were more protected that way…believe it or not." Seifer snorted. "_They_ didn't seem to think so. I think Raijin got beat by an old man with a cane about ten times walking down the street."

"Balamb Garden was on the island for about a week, inspecting the missile damage and investigating the town," Quistis checked her notes again. "And then we traveled to Trabia to search for survivors, which took another week. I'm assuming you went to the Centran continent during that time?"

"Yeah."

"Why did you decide to go there?"

Seifer shrugged. "It was sort of a last resort. I needed time to think…to plan…and I also wanted to jog your memories, if it was possible."

_Night had fallen over the black sea. Seifer had left a platoon of Galbadian soldiers behind in Balamb, entrusting Fujin and Raijin to take care of things while he was gone. After the G-Garden left Balamb and floated idly over the sea, Seifer had spent most of his time in Martine's office, which now served as a control room since it housed the mechanics used to maneuver the flying Garden, the Garden's blueprints, and several world maps. Most of the soldiers were sleeping, but Seifer had pulled out a cigarette and was standing on a small platform above the office, accessed by a tiny spiral staircase, giving him a perfect birds-eye view of the horizon._

_So…where the fuck do we go now?_

_He needed help. Nobody could help him except for Squall and the others. However, it was obvious that they didn't remember Matron; otherwise they would have gone through different measures to try to save her instead of trying to kill her. And she couldn't be harmed._

_Seifer took in a long drag and exhaled._

_I've got to try to remind them somehow. I can't save Matron on my own…but I can't rely on Squall's team if they still have that damned GF amnesia…_

_Hyne-damned brain parasites. They were screwing everything up._

_Seifer grit his teeth and sighed. Eventually the Gardens would have to meet, face-to-face. It was inevitable. Edea was now bent on destroying Balamb Garden and finding Ellone. There had to be a suitable battlefield…_

_Not Balamb, obviously. Too many citizens._

_The Galbadian continent was too risky. Martine's SeeDs were literally hiding out in the northern region, and Seifer didn't want to cause any casualties._

_He snorted. That'd be a shitty way to go. Evacuate your own Garden to sleep out in a tree, only to wake up the next morning to see it crashing into another flying Garden above your head…_

_Seifer leaned over the railing and stared downward. The sea would be a good spot…_

_No. One of the Gardens would end up sunk, and then we'd be fucked._

_Trabia? _

_No. Too many mountains. I doubt the Gardens are even capable of flying over that. Air's too thin…too cold…and I don't feel like having my balls shrink-wrapped…_

_Esthar?_

_He snorted. Yeah. Right. Sure. Xenophobic Esthar. They'll love us for that. Let's start another war on top of the war we're already having._

_Seifer ran a hand through his hair and sighed. _

_Where…in the fuck…? What other continent is there…?_

_Then it hit him._

_Of course. Hyne. Why didn't I think of it before? Shit._

_Seifer immediately flicked the cigarette over the balcony and trotted down the stairs, awakening the pilots and ordering them to chart a course towards the Centran continent. _

"I thought that seeing the orphanage would have helped. And I think…I think the location sort of made Edea a bit more passive. She hadn't come out of her quarters ever since we left Balamb. It was like she was dormant or something." Seifer ran a hand through his hair. "And believe me, I didn't mind that shit at _all_. I didn't care what she was doing in there, as long as she wasn't killing anyone. It was actually a nice break."

"What did you do while you were at sea?"

"Fuck around with the soldiers. Play cards. Spar. Mostly we prepared for the inevitable confrontation with B-Garden. The Galbadian Garden had a shitload of war paraphernalia – ramps for the battlecycles, mechanical rocket-propelled armor, paratrooper equipment, and stockrooms full of guns, ammunition, and magic. More than B-Garden, I think…"

"Galbadian Garden's enrollment is twice as high as Balamb Garden's," Quistis nodded.

Seifer shrugged. "Well, they had enough shit in there to blow Deling City to kingdom come, which is saying something."

"Seifer, how did you know that we'd eventually go to Centra?"

"I didn't. It was a big fucking gamble. But I guess if you think about it, it's a logical hiding spot. Galbadia was too obvious. We were already in Balamb. Esthar was off-limits. There were only so many places I could be. It's too bad the Gardens didn't have a tracking device on each other. It would've sped things up."

_After they had spent almost two weeks at sea, the continent of Centra finally came into view. Green treetops lined the horizon and slowly grew higher and bigger as they neared the shore. Once they hovered over dry land, Seifer was informed by the pilots and he had instructed them to continue south. They had traversed over rocky terrain and green, fragrant forests for two more hours until a small, stone house came into view._

"_Dock here," Seifer had instructed._

_He didn't dare exit the Garden to inspect the orphanage – chances were that Edea was watching from somewhere inside the complex, and he didn't want to do anything to upset her, nor did he want to inadvertently reveal his childhood past to Ultimecia. It was possible that she already knew by what she could have extracted from Edea's mind, but Seifer didn't want to risk it. Besides, he already had all of his memories. It was Squall and the others who needed a big, fat reminder._

_Seifer and the Galbadian soldiers waited for another week until the captains in the control room started yelling and ordering the troops to their stations, notifying Seifer that another Garden had come into view. Seifer immediately went up to Martine's office, grabbed a pair of binoculars, walked up a thin stairwell that led to a small balcony, looked towards where the pilot was pointing, and let out a breath of relief mixed with anxiety._

_There they are._

_Fuck, Leonhart. Took you long enough._

_He lowered the binoculars, narrowed his eyes, and stared at the horizon ahead. A captain that had followed him up the stairwell turned and faced him._

"_What should we do, sir?"_

"_Nothing yet," Seifer replied. "Just sit here and wait. And make damn sure they see us."_

"_Yes, sir."_

_The captain left his post to go relay the orders to the pilots. Seifer ran a hand through his hair and glared ahead at Balamb Garden, which had been floating further away over the rocky outcroppings and woods of the Centra continent. After a few minutes, it managed to turn and face Galbadia Garden head-on._

_That's right. Can you see me, Squall? Peek-a-boo._

_He turned off the platform and walked down the narrow staircase towards Martine's office, where three captains were waiting. Two pilots were at the controls, maintaining a steady course._

"_Listen up," Seifer faced all of them and hitched his thumb over his shoulder, pointing towards Balamb Garden off in the distance. "We're going to attack. I want your men to get the battlecycles ready. They'll make the first sweep, and then follow up with the paratroopers."_

"_Sir? We're to attack?" one of the captains sounded skeptical._

_Someone's gotta make the first move. No use beating around the bush._

"_That's right, but spread the soldiers thin," Seifer replied. "How many do we have on board right now?"_

"_Close to seven hundred, sir."_

"_Then send fifty battlecycles and fifty paratroopers."_

_The captains all looked at each other. "Uh…sir?"_

"_We want to keep casualties to a minimum, don't we?" Seifer glared at all of them._

_The captains straightened and nodded._

"_Fine. Then do it. Send the first wave in as soon as we get closer." Seifer turned towards the pilots, ignoring the startled expressions of the captains. "Head straight towards Balamb Garden. Hit them."_

"_Sir?!"_

"_I said ram them."_

"_Y-yes, sir."_

_He turned towards the flabbergasted captains and raised an expectant eyebrow. "Well? Alley-fucking-oop, boys!"_

"_Er…yes, sir," they saluted and left the room to prepare the soldiers for attack._

_Within minutes, the soldiers began scrambling to their stations, preparing for both offense and defense. Orders repeated over the intercoms for soldiers to stand by, to load battlecycle ramps, to align the battlecycles near the quad opening, to junction magic, to load ammunition, or to strap themselves into the jet-propelled infiltration armor._

_As soon as the battlecycles were ready, the Galbadian Garden was miles within Balamb's radius. Seifer had descended to the quad to personally oversee the operation, and stood upon his own platform to watch Balamb in the distance. Several minutes had passed by as the soldiers inspected the battlecycles, mounted them, and started them up. They were now floating dangerously close to Balamb._

"_Battlecycles ready, sir," a captain shouted up at him._

_Seifer turned and glanced at all the soldiers mounted on the cycles. They all gave him the thumbs up and some adjusted their helmets. He turned towards the entrance again and glared straight ahead. Balamb Garden was in front of them, but they hadn't taken any evasive action, nor had they taken the initiative to attack. He glanced sideways and stared at the ramps that had been put in place for the battlecycles. The soldiers were revving them up, preparing to launch._

_He faced Balamb again and set his jaw. With a quick motion of his hand, the soldiers complied and hit the battlecycles into high gear. With loud screeches, they shot out of Galbadia Garden, up the ramps, and over the gap below onto Balamb Garden. Seifer immediately turned, walked through the quad, and took an elevator up into Martine's office, where the captains were watching Balamb with electronic binoculars and directing the pilots to maintain their course._

"_Battlecycles are cleared, sir," a captain said, watching the attack with binoculars._

"_Sir," the pilot turned towards Seifer, "Balamb Garden is dead ahead."_

_Seifer fixed his jaw. "Ramming speed."_

"_Sir, perhaps we should discuss -"_

"_Just do it," Seifer scowled at them._

"_Aye-aye, sir."_

_The pilots shoved the controls up and the Garden jerked forward as it sped up. _

"_Hold on to something!" Seifer bellowed, prompting the soldiers to brace themselves._

_The pilots gritted their teeth and one got on the intercom to communicate to the rest of the soldiers in Garden. "All soldiers, prepare for impact. I repeat: all soldiers, prepare for impact. Seconds to impact in six…five…four…three…"_

_Seifer glared ahead and tensed as the enormous complex got bigger and bigger as they floated closer and faster towards it. _

_Maybe this will jar you into action, fearless leader. Come and get me._

"…_two…one…"_

_There was a large crash, followed by the loud sound of glass shattering, combined with metal creaking and twisting, that erupted all around them as the two Gardens collided. Galbadian soldiers were thrown off their feet and hurled to the ground from the impact, and Seifer curled his arm around the handle of the staircase, locking his elbow and swearing loudly as he felt the force slam through his bones. The screeching and slicing sounds continued as the Gardens scraped by each other, and there was a loud rumbling sound as the entire complex vibrated violently, but within seconds the first hit was over. _

"_First wave deployed, sir!" a lieutenant confirmed._

"_Good. Turn her around," Seifer winced as he stood up and straightened his trench coat._

"_Aye-aye, sir."_

"_Fuck," Seifer rolled his shoulder and rubbed his neck. "Give me a status report," he ordered the nearest captain. "Have the medics standing by if anyone gets seriously banged up."_

"_Yes, sir."_

_As the pilots navigated the Galbadian Garden over the Centra landscape, Seifer walked back up the thin staircase with a pair of binoculars and examined Balamb as soon as they had turned around. He guessed that the light-blue Garden only sustained minimal casualties, but it seemed as if they weren't positioning for a counterattack. In fact, the whole complex seemed to be relatively shell-shocked, and sort of floated lazily around, as if the pilots were too confused to do something – or the leadership hadn't been giving any clear orders yet._

_Fight back, dammit, Seifer grit his teeth. Fight back. What the hell are you waiting for?_

"_Ram them again!" Seifer barked down the staircase at a pilot. "Prepare the paratroopers!"_

"_Sir! Yes, sir!"_

_. . ._

_Quistis stepped out of the elevator and began searching wildly for someone in charge. She knew that Xu was in the area somewhere. She hadn't gotten far around the quad when she heard Xu's voice near the front gate._

"_Secure the hyne-damned perimeter!" Xu barked. "And make sure to holy hell you've got the necessary magics juntioned! Get those injured cadets to the infirmary!"_

"_Xu!" Quistis called out. "Xu!"_

"_Quistis! What are you doing here? Where's your team?"_

"_I need a status report," Quistis breathed, catching up to Xu near the quad entrance. "How are you doing on numbers?"_

"_We took care of most of the first wave, but they'll come back," Xu scowled. "We sustained minimal casualties, but my cadets are shaky. I don't know how long they'll last. They're not even SeeDs yet."_

"_I've got to go back up to the Headmaster's office and - " Quistis was cut off by a nearby scream._

"_INCOMING!"_

"_BRACE YOURSELVES!"_

_Xu and Quistis were immediately thrown aside and slid across the Garden floor, slamming into the nearby retaining wall and yelping out in pain. The jolt, created when Galbadia Garden slammed into Balamb Garden's front gate, had knocked all the students to the ground. The Gardens scraped together with a horrible grinding sound and Balamb tipped upward at an odd angle as Galbadia caught its underbelly, causing the students to stumble and slide across the floor._

"_Fuck!" Xu swore. "What the fuck is Almasy DOING?!"_

_As Galbadia passed, the sounds of glass breaking and loud crashing could be heard, followed by more yells. The Galbadian Garden seemed to drag Balamb a few kilometers before breaking loose with a sickening groan. With another jolt, Balamb righted itself again and slowly rocked before maintaining a steady course. A fire broke out in the cafeteria and a few students immediately responded with water magic._

"_Quistis, you okay?"_

"_Yeah," Quistis winced and stood up. _

"_They're in the complex. That was the second offensive." Xu stood up and ignored her bleeding knee, brushing her short hair out of her face. "Damn it. First the Shumi, now this. Un-fucking-believeable." She angrily tore off her SeeD jacket and rolled up the sleeves to her blouse. "I've got to get to my team. Go and find yours, and request for backup if it's possible."_

"_I don't think we can," Quistis responded briskly. "We're already spread thin enough as it is, and the amount of wounded is increasing. Just hang on until we figure out what to do."_

"_We have to land," Xu replied. "We have to land or they'll tear us apart."_

"_If we land, we'll be even more exposed," Quistis argued._

"_Then ram them as a counterstrike, for Hyne's sake! What's Squall waiting for?"_

"_He's trying to decide on the best possible mode of - "_

"_Yeah, well, tell him to make it fast," Xu snapped. "We won't be able to hold them off much longer at this rate."_

"_I'll see what I can do. Just hold on a little longer, Xu," Quistis gritted her teeth and ran back towards the elevator._

_Seifer…what have you done…?_

"Where was Edea during all of this?" Quistis asked.

Seifer shrugged again. "She pretty much made the auditorium her little chamber. She never came out, and we never went in. Who knows. She did that disappearing walk-through-the-walls shit a lot."

"What about when our Garden came into sight?"

"She wasn't anywhere to be found."

"So all those attacks and all those troops were sent in on _your_ orders alone?"

Seifer sighed and rubbed his eyes. "Fuck, here we go…"

"I'm just trying to put things in perspective here, Seifer. Was that _really_ necessary?"

"How else could I have handled the situation?" Seifer crossed his arms and snorted. "By floating up to you and orchestrating a damn peace treaty?"

Quistis sighed.

"I wanted to force Squall into fighting me back," Seifer continued. "Think about it, Trepe. It's the only way you guys would come after me and Matron. Besides, I knew most of you would be able to hold your own. Believe it or not, the waves I had sent in were supposed to go easy on you."

Quistis thought back on the attack and remembered when they all had to assess the damage…that the casualties were miraculously low, considering the fact that most of their defenses consisted of rookies…and how Squall ultimately decided to execute a counterattack.

"_What's the situation?" Dr. Kadowaki asked Squall, concerned. A cut had formed on her forehead, but she appeared unharmed._

"_We were able to stop the first two waves of the attack," Squall replied gruffly, "but our forces aren't looking too good. Many are injured. If they send another wave, I don't know if we can hold them."_

_Just then, Selphie burst through the door to Cid's office, looking out of breath and slightly shaken._

"_How's your team?" Dr. Kadowaki stepped forward._

"_Bad," Selphie breathed, crouching over and holding her knees. "They're barely holding them off."_

"_So…" Dr. Kadowaki glanced towards the windows and crossed her arms. "Looks like this is it."_

"_They've got more experienced fighters," Quistis put her hands on her hips. "On the other hand, most of our troops are students who are still in training. Like Squall said, one more wave and we might be finished."_

_Squall remained silent, but he crossed his arms and stared at the floor with a furrowed brow, obviously deep in thought._

_Dr. Kadowaki glanced at him. "Seifer is with them, right?"_

_His eyes darted up to her, but he didn't reply._

"_You said it yourself; there's no way you can run from him. It's kind of like your destiny to face him. Looks like it's now or never…you've come this far already." Dr. Kadowaki crossed her arms and examined Squall. "What is there to think about? You're not going to run away, are you?"_

_Squall scowled at her. "There's no way I'm gonna run from him!"_

_What Dr. Kadowaki had said…about destiny…it sounded so strange_, Quistis thought. _But in retrospect…I guess she already knew about Seifer. She was trying to push Squall in the right direction. Seifer knew Squall wasn't going to run._

She shook her head and let out a half-sigh, half chuckle. "Huh."

"What?"

"Nothing. Just…I didn't have a whole lot of time to think about anything then. It all happened so fast. But now…" she trailed off and shrugged. "It's just all falling into place."

Seifer rolled his eyes. "Glad you're beginning to see the light. Kinda late in the game, aren't you?"

She sighed and rubbed her head. "Shut _up_, Seifer."

"Ooh…a professional psychotherapist shouldn't say that to their ailing client."

"I'm not a therapist, and you're not my client. This is just standard SeeD protocol."

Seifer crossed his arms. "So, is that why you're doing this? Am I standard protocol to you, Trepe?"

Quistis gripped her pen tighter and stopped the recorder, knowing exactly where this was going. Seifer was clever. He was quick-witted and although it seemed otherwise, she knew that he always paid close attention to what people said around him. He would always mold the situation to his advantage by using the words of others and turning it against them. If she wasn't equally quick-witted and smart-mouthed, she'd immediately lose a verbal debate with Seifer Almasy.

Today had been a good day, and she wasn't in the mood for his games.

"Playing the victim again, Seifer?"

Seifer's expression immediately turned into a black scowl. "The _victim?_"

"We've been through this. You know that you're not just another duty to me, so stop trying to accuse me otherwise. I've known you since we were children and I think I can safely say I know you too well to really detach myself from you completely to the point of simple _protocol_, as you put it. You're a pain in the ass. You're a jerk. You're brilliant. You're a good soldier. And…when you're not being a complete asshole, you're a good friend."

Seifer raised an eyebrow, surprised at her sudden confidence…something he hadn't seen since last year, in class. It was a long time since he'd heard her _don't-bullshit-with-me_ voice. "Don't go and get all gushy on me, instructor. I might cry."

"Well, it's the truth. Deal with it. But I'm getting sick of you trying to brand me as some sort of frigid, by-the-book, emotionless prude that sees you as a data statistic. So will you _stop_ saying things like that?"

"But you _are_ a by-the-book emotionless prude. Aren't you?"

Quistis removed her glasses, pinched the bridge of her nose, and made a groaning sound.

"I'm just asking, Trepe," Seifer grinned. "Unless you have a wild side I haven't seen yet."

"Well, you're so quick to judge, you'll never know, will you?" Quistis challenged, staring him down.

For some reason, that sentence sounded incredibly cryptic and sexy. He narrowed his eyes. "What side of the fuckin' bed did you get up on this morning? Hyne. Did you have a wet dream or something?"

Quistis didn't answer. _I had a wonderful dream…I think…_

"Speaking of being quick to judge, you sure didn't hesitate to say that I'm a prick," Seifer added flatly.

"It's true, isn't it?"

He rolled his eyes and snorted.

Quistis cocked her head. "Why? Did I insult you?"

"No, but practice what you preach, instructor. Maybe there's more to _me_ than you think."

"Such as?" Quistis folded her arms and leaned slightly forward, as if she were all ears. "Is there anything you'd like to talk about? Something you'd like to tell me that you haven't mentioned before?"

Fuck! It was a trap. He'd walked right into it. She was using more of her therapist crap on him. _Dammit, Almasy, you thickhead._ He narrowed his eyes at her, but he couldn't get himself to be angry with her. He'd lost the verbal fight fair and square. Jab, jab, right hook. Jab, jab, kick to the fuckin' nuts.

"That was below the belt, Trepe."

Quistis's eyes twinkled.

"I'm serious. That's some bullshit."

"I'm serious, too, Seifer. If there's more to you than meets the eye, then tell me."

He watched her. In that split second, he longed to explain why he wasn't able to sleep the night before…how he'd survived the long months under a sorceress's watchful stare, meager rations, and cigarettes…how he secretly protected her during his time at the D-district prison…and what he had said to her in the Lunatic Pandora…

But it was only for a split second.

"Who knows," he bit his lip in a blatantly seductive grin. "We'll see how this mental eval stuff goes first, then take it from there. I don't know about you, but this shit is so stimulating it'll easily lead to foreplay, huh?"

Quistis rolled her eyes, closed her notebook, and checked her watch. "On that note, we'll finish up for now and start again sometime tomorrow. How does that sound?"

"I'm sporting a chub just _thinking_ about it," he replied sarcastically. He almost laughed. Ironically enough, his statement was almost true. _Fuck, I need to get laid._ "Why close up shop early?"

"Because it's almost seventeen-hundred hours and I'm getting hungry," Quistis replied. "Besides, we made plenty of progress for today. We'll pick up where we left off later."

After they both put on their boots, Quistis grabbed a book and headed for her door, Seifer following suit. As soon as she opened it up and stepped outside, a male student had noticed her and waved, trotting up in her direction.

"Instructor! Instructor Trepe! Hello! How are you? Wow, I haven't seen you since last year - "

"What do you want?" Seifer immediately appeared in the doorway and seemed to tower behind Quistis, crossing his arms and glaring down at the junior classmen as if he was her personal bodyguard. The student immediately turned white and halted in his tracks.

"Uh…er…oh…um…I didn't know…I mean…I'm sorry…"

"It's all right," Quistis held up her hand and shook her head. "Ignore him. He doesn't mean any harm. What did you want to talk to me about, cadet?"

The student glanced up at Seifer nervously, then glanced back at Quistis, then back up at Seifer. "Oh…um…it's not that important, Instructor Trepe. M-m-maybe I'll see you around, huh?"

"Don't count on it," Seifer replied in a low voice.

Quistis turned around and shot him an angry frown, putting her hands on her hips. Before she could turn back to apologize to the poor student, he had already rushed off, turning the corner at the end of the hallway. Quistis sighed in frustration and swirled around to glare at Seifer.

"Seifer, what in the world was _that_ all about?"

"I was doing you a _favor_, Trepe. You're _welcome_. Those trepies need to learn how to leave you alone. That little shitstain was practically camped outside your room. The _minute_ you opened your door he was ready to hump your leg."

Quistis rolled her eyes and groaned. "Don't call them 'trepies.' Giving them a title only makes it worse. Besides, you're not going to help your situation here if you continue to intimidate the other students."

"I've _always_ intimidated the other students. I'd say my situation is pretty much the same."

Quistis shrugged. "True. But it's possible that he only had a question about something related to the curriculum. Maybe he needed help with a subject."

"So what? It was probably a stupid question anyway."

"There are no stupid questions, Seifer."

"Sure there are. Teachers just say those things to make the dumbasses in class feel better."

Quistis shook her head and didn't reply. They started to slowly walk down the hallway, not really having a destination in mind. After a long pause, she asked, "Speaking of classes, will you go to any of the supplemental SeeD courses offered here?"

"Fuck, no."

"Why not?"

Seifer raised an eyebrow at her. "Are you fucking insane? What more could I possibly learn? I think I can safely say that I've been through hell and back again. Not many SeeDs can say they've gone up against a crazy sorceress, for Hyne's sake."

Quistis shrugged. "No, I suppose not."

"Besides, you're not teaching it."

She glanced at him. "You'd take a course if I was the instructor?"

He gave her an ornery smirk. "I'd jump at any chance to make you a laughingstock."

Quistis sighed and rolled her eyes. "Of course you would."

"What do you care, anyway? Are _you_ taking any classes?"

"No. I've got enough on my plate as it is. But I probably would if I could. I think it'd be a good exercise."

"Hyne. You're _such_ a nerd, Trepe."

"I'm flattered."

"Why aren't you teaching any courses on how to destroy enemies like Ultimecia, or how to triple-cast, or how to survive time compression? I'll bet _that_ shit isn't in the textbooks."

"Well, I've decided to teach a basic course for first and second years. That material is too advanced, unfortunately."

"Why do you want to teach the baby course?" Seifer narrowed his eyes.

"I requested it."

"But you're smarter than that."

Quistis blinked at him. "I'm sorry, Seifer…Did you just give me a compliment?"

"They're few and far in between, Trepe," he retorted with a smirk. "Enjoy it while it lasts."

Quistis hid a smile. "I only want to teach a light load for now. I didn't want to jump right into something that takes up a lot of my time, especially after coming back from Esthar, and doing you…"

"_Doing_ me?"

"Doing your mental evaluation," Quistis flushed. "Your case file. Whatever. You know what I meant."

"Mm-hmm."

"Oh, don't be so immature."

"I didn't say anything."

"You don't _have_ to say anything. I already know what you're thinking."

"What _am_ I thinking, instructor?"

"Shut up."

"So, when do you want to DO me next?" he grinned, his loud sentence drawing a few glances from other students in the hallway.

"Seifer!"

"Tomorrow night in your room? Sounds good, Trepe!"

"Seifer, keep it down - "

"I'm looking forward to it, too!" he yelled as he started to walk away towards his room. "Should be one hell of a time!"

Quistis crossed her arms and set her jaw, feeling her face grow hot under everyone else's surprised stares. _Ooooooooohhh! Hyne, he's such a jock. _

When he turned around and gave her a mischievous grin as he walked away, however, she couldn't help but smile. He walked taller. He smiled more often, even if it was a cocky grin that appeared after a crude joke or an insult. He was beginning to be more like himself already.

And they had managed to have a relatively civil, lighthearted conversation without fighting.

It was almost as if…

_…Were we flirting?_

She shook her head and started to walk towards the cafeteria.

_No. That's just how Seifer is. Men in general, really. Everything always has to be a sexual innuendo. Oh well. I'll prefer that over an argument anytime._

Finally, it seemed as if things were returning to normal.

* * *

**_Author's Note:_ **Sorry for the fluff, but I feel that I needed to put out a bunch of character development. Now I can get the ball rolling with the next chapters...


	12. Penance

**_

* * *

_**

**_"The spirit is over town, waiting for me to hit the floor,_**

**_blooming white sky for the voice of one calling tonight..._**

**_Tonight fate is the red crown, the red crown around your door_**

**_Time is scattering the seeds of the morning daylight..."_**

_"Cosmos"_ by Your Favorite Enemies

_

* * *

_

_Squall blinked groggily and swallowed. His lips were parched and his mouth had felt as if someone had stuffed cotton into it. The stale, metallic taste of blood was on his tongue. An uncomfortable pull at his wrists and shoulder joints forced him to look around. He was hanging there vertically._

_The last thing he remembered was Seifer's fist coming towards his face. The throbbing reminder pounded in his cheekbone and spread to his eye._

_Nnnghh. Prick._

_He was still in D-district prison. Although…_

"_I'm sure you can imagine what happens now," Seifer glared up at Squall, a menacing look on his face. Squall, still slightly dazed, clenched his fists and tugged at the restraints that were holding him up against a metal grate. He swallowed and glanced at the control panel a Galbadian soldier was stationed at._

_This can't be good._

_He glanced at Seifer. "What do you want?"_

"_Tell me what SeeD is," Seifer replied. "Edea demands to know."_

_Squall blinked, forcing himself to focus. "SeeD…"_

…_I don't know. A code name for Balamb Garden's elite mercenary force…SeeD…combat specialists…it's obvious. Why is he…?_

_Squall narrowed his eyes at Seifer. "Don't you already know?"_

_Seifer shrugged. "I'm not a SeeD. There must be some kind of secret you're given when you become a SeeD."_

_What? Secret? No…we're just… Why in the hell would a sorceress care? What is Seifer getting at? He's nuts._

"_There's nothing," Squall curled his lip angrily at Seifer. "Even if there were, do you think I'd tell you?"_

_There was a slight pause. Seifer tugged at his gloves, tightening them and grinning up at Squall. "You're on my 'tough-nut-to-crack' list. Didn't think you'd talk that easily."_

_Squall glared at him angrily. "Gee, I'm honored."_

"_So, here's a little somethin' for ya," Seifer motioned to the Galbadian guard and he responded by flipping a switch. Immediately, Squall felt a searing bolt of electricity spread throughout his body. He froze and the breath was taken from him, the sharp pain seizing his muscles and causing his jaw to clench shut. He couldn't even force out a scream. Black and white spots started to explode in front of his eyes and he only managed to muster a weak groan._

_The sharp needles piercing his nerves and skewering his muscles stopped._

_He was suddenly allowed to breathe again. Squall hung his head and closed his eyes, taking short, pained breaths of air into his burning lungs. It almost felt as if his chest wound was about to split back open any minute. For a short moment, he was afraid that he would lose control of his bowels, or vomit, or both._

"_Even if you don't talk," Seifer shrugged, "others will. The instructor…the little messenger girl…or that Chicken-wuss." He let out a dark chuckle. "He wouldn't even last three seconds!"_

_No…th…they're…_

"_They're all here?" Squall forced the air out of his lungs so he could speak._

_Seifer narrowed his eyes at him. "Oh, you bet. But since I like you so much, I thought you should go first. I was hoping you'd be there, Squall."_

_I was hoping you'd be there._

_Don't disappoint me now._

_I was hoping you'd be there._

_Don't die on me..._

Squall woke up with a twitch. He automatically felt his chest, and after a few pats, he let out a sigh of relief.

_Seifer. What an asshole._

He rubbed his eyes and rolled to the side, glancing at his alarm clock. 0704 hours.

He'd been sleeping relatively soundly since the battle with Ultimecia, but bits and pieces of old memories were still drifting into his dreams.

_Dreams. Hah. More like nightmares._

Squall sighed. _Memories aren't supposed to cause nightmares. Sometimes I wish I had my GF back._

Although unjunctioning his guardian forces made him feel relatively vulnerable, there was still a sense of total freedom from the whole thing.

_No wonder Seifer never junctioned any,_ Squall thought as he stared at the ceiling. _I guess he was the smart one._

To Squall, gaining back his memories wasn't a very positive experience. He was suddenly reminded of his time at the orphanage and his transfer to Garden…his fights with Seifer and his quiet existence as a cadet…

_Not very memorable._

He smiled, though, as he thought of Ellone. No matter what had happened at the orphanage, she was always there to take care of him. They had bonded faster than anyone else at the orphanage and were almost inseparable…almost like they were…

_Brother and sister._

Ellone had insisted that he call her sis. He was too young to understand why, but as soon as he did, the rest of the children piped up and called her sis as well. Everyone called her sis. She was Ellone. She was Sis.

He'd never realized that she was really his blood relative.

Nobody had outright told him, but he'd caught on. After Ellone had sent him back in the past to experience what Laguna had experienced, and after she told him about Raine, Squall put the pieces together. Laguna had never officially declared that he was Squall's father, nor did Edea and Cid ever acknowledge that Ellone was his sister, but he knew that the evidence wasn't just a coincidence.

Squall stared at the ceiling and sighed.

The truth didn't bother him as much as he thought it would, really. Somehow, it felt as if he'd always known.

_Doesn't matter. I'm still a SeeD. I'm still with Garden. I have a family here, too._

He rolled over to the other side and gently placed and arm around Rinoa, who was sleeping next to him. He inhaled her unique scent and sighed again. She smelled like a combination of vanilla and fabric softener – a smell he'd grown to love but never really knew its origin until experiencing his first laundry day with her in Garden.

"_Squall…what are you doing?"_

"…_What's it look like I'm doing? The laundry."_

_Rinoa cocked her head at him and eyed the load he was putting into the washer. "…That's how you do your laundry?"_

_He narrowed his eyes, slightly annoyed. "Yes. You put the clothes in the washing machine. Is this not how you do laundry?"_

_Rinoa smiled, unaffected by his sarcasm. "No. You're not supposed to wash your entire load together."_

"…_What?"_

"_Here." She started taking charge, separating his darks from his whites, ignoring the pink color that rose in his face even as she went through his boxers and underwear. "Now, you always separate your colors from your whites and grays, because you don't want them bleeding all over your white clothes."_

"_I don't have many colors."_

"_I noticed. But you still have to separate black from white, otherwise it'll turn the white a bluish-grey color."_

_Hrm._

_Rinoa curled a lip as she lifted up a box of his powdered laundry detergent and sniffed it. "You use this?"_

_Squall crossed his arms. "Yeah. So?"_

"_So, this is like standard-issue military soap."_

_His agitation was beginning to show in his voice. "That's the point, Rinoa. I'm a soldier and that's what they give us."_

_Rinoa shook her head. "You need to start using this." She held up a jug of liquid detergent that had been decorated with flowers and had all sorts of advertisement paraphernalia on it that said 'Removes the Toughest of Stains,' '5X Concentration,' and 'Spring Rain.'_

"_Spring Rain?" Squall raised an eyebrow._

"_It smells a lot fresher than that stuff," Rinoa said as she poured a cupful and dumped it into the washing machine, nodding towards Squall's boxed soap._

"_My stuff smells all right."_

"_Which is fine, if you want to walk around smelling like musty, hard-water-washed soap in a dingy-colored shirt that's stiff as a board and wrinkled beyond hope," Rinoa replied matter-of-factly as she measured another small cup of a different, thicker liquid._

_Squall scowled and looked down at his shirt._

_Well…it is a little…drab. And wrinkled. But…so? It's a t-shirt. And I'm a guy. I'm not supposed to smell like Spring Rain._

_He tugged at it and sniffed._

_Hrm. It smells a little…_

"_Stale?" Rinoa grinned at him._

_He glanced back up and scowled again, pointing at the small cup of purple-colored substance._

"_What's that for?"_

"_This is fabric softener. Pretty self-explanatory, really. It keeps your clothes nice and soft and leaves them smelling fresh."_

"_I thought the Spring Rain was for freshness," Squall retorted sarcastically._

"_It is, but the fabric softener doesn't hurt, either."_

_He made a face as he thought about soft military pants. It didn't seem right. Soldiers were not supposed to be…soft. Fluffy. Not like the happy little teddy bear that was plastered on the front of the fabric softener container._

"_That won't…ruin anything…will it?"_

_Rinoa grinned at him. "Your shirts and your boxers won't scratch you anymore."_

_Squall rolled his eyes. "They don't scratch me - "_

"_I've seen your clothes, Squall. They look like they're ready to be used as rags at a car wash. I'm surprised, since being in the military means discipline and organization. You should take the same care with your clothes."_

_He crossed his arms and didn't reply._

"_Do you use dryer sheets?" She asked him._

_THAT he was trained to do. Without dryer sheets, static would build up on his uniform. Static build-up on a mission wouldn't be good, especially if explosives were involved. That, and he hated touching doorknobs in the wintertime._

"_Yes, I use dryer sheets."_

"_Okay. I'm just making sure, so I know what I'm dealing with here."_

_Squall sighed. "Whatever. Just…don't mess up my clothes, okay?"_

_Rinoa examined him for a bit. He'd been so used to the same routine for so long, that something different sort of…ruffled his feathers. She smiled softly._

"_Don't worry. I won't ruin them. I promise."_

Squall sighed and pressed his forehead against the base of her neck. It was stupid, but thinking about doing the laundry and smelling the fabric softener on her skin and the vanilla in her hair made him feel at peace. He was incredibly happy, and he'd never been happy. Not truly, anyway. He thought he'd have a quiet, comfortable life in Garden as a SeeD; carrying out orders, practicing with his gunblade, and eventually leading his own squadron. Before the war, when he pondered about his future, he usually thought about what types of missions he'd be sent on and what sort of different countries he'd see. Nothing in his thoughts included someone to share his future with.

That had all changed.

He had been a soldier, but he had never questioned why. His GF amnesia had prevented him from really delving into his past, but since he'd unjunctioned them, he was finally beginning to understand his purpose. Even though SeeDs and Garden were created to destroy the sorceress and that Ultimecia and Adel were gone, he knew that their jobs weren't over. They'd be peacekeepers. Acting protectors of the world, soldiers-for-hire if anyone ever needed any help.

_Protecting innocent people from wack-jobs like Odine,_ Squall thought bitterly.

…_Protecting Rinoa. Sis. Matron._

…_I'll protect you from anyone, anywhere,_ Squall thought as he clutched her sleeping form. _I meant it then. I mean it now. I'm a SeeD. It's my job to protect you. I…I love you, Rinoa. I can't imagine my life without you._

She stirred and moaned, and he held her closer. He breathed in her scent and sighed, relaxing with her as she readjusted her position.

The security. The peace. The happiness. The balance. The righteousness of it all.

…_Until the end. I'll die for it. I'll die for you._

_**. . .**_

It was late morning and Seifer couldn't find Fujin and Raijin anywhere. He'd gone to the cafeteria and ate a large breakfast burrito, downed an energy drink, and grabbed a handful of hash browns, popping them into his mouth as he walked around the quad, hoping he'd see one of them. Once he got to the west wing, however, he did an abrupt about-face and walked back to the quad when he saw Selphie directing orders to other students about decorations. Raijin wasn't in the Dr. Kadowaki's office being bandaged up for a mishap in the training center…Fujin wasn't in the library staking out loud rule-breakers for the disciplinary committee…and neither of them were in their rooms.

He sighed. They were probably on a mission. Or maybe they went to town.

Seifer glanced towards the garage.

_Nah. I'm not in the mood to go to town. I'm fucking sick of travel. I probably don't even have clearance to leave yet._

He grinned slightly.

…_If I leave, Quistis might come running after me like last time. _

He was leaning against the wall, arms crossed, at the entrance of the dormitory wing and facing the quad in front of him. As he stared at the large fountain, he thought back on how Quistis practically severed all ties with Garden to try to drag his ass back to it.

_I don't get her sometimes. She'll risk her life for a troublemaker like me and then she'll turn right around and bitch about how it's my fault…as if I was right there shoving her out the door in the first place..._

He sighed. _Women_.

He couldn't help but grin and think about the orphanage, though. _Quistis has always been like that. It's like a game of tag. She'll chase me and chase me and then once she catches me, she'll beat my ass and nag and complain about how I got caught on purpose instead of just saying, 'You're it.'_

On one hand, it was really fucking annoying. It was incredibly agitating to get lectured on, bitched at, and chided about every single little stupid thing. She was Quistis Trepe. She always had to be teaching someone a lesson.

But on the other hand, the chase was just too fun. The game of tag was worth it in the end, even if she didn't know how to play.

Several students walked by, sat at the fountain to study, tie their shoes, or mingle with other students.

But no Fujin and Raijin.

_I wonder where the fuck they went? I'm bored._

He sighed and continued to stare off into the distance until he felt that something was a little…off. He blinked, unnerved. He felt a presence. Someone was standing behind him. He turned to address whoever it was –

"AAAH!" He let out a bellow and recoiled, putting an arm up to shield his face.

Xu crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at him, letting out an impatient sigh.

He lowered his arm and sighed, grinning. "Oh, it's you. For a minute there, I thought they'd let in a Blood Soul."

"Ha, ha. You should think about quitting Garden to become a comedian."

"I wasn't joking. I really _did_ think you were going to eat my brains."

"Oh, it's such a _mystery_ why you couldn't pass the field exams."

"They were probably rigged. By _you_."

Xu shrugged. "I'll neither confirm nor deny that."

"What do you want? And for the _last_ time, you can't give me a blowjob."

"Where's Quistis?"

"How the fuck should I know?"

"You two have been attached at the hip these last several days. Why _wouldn't_ you know?"

Seifer scowled. "Have not."

Xu raised an eyebrow at him. "You seem to be in a better mood, at least."

He curled a lip at her. "What makes you think that?"

Xu shrugged. "I don't know. There's just something different about you. You're always an asshole, but…lately, not as much."

"I _was_ in a good mood until I was blessed with your fucking presence."

"Cid wants an update," Xu said, ignoring him. "What's the status of your mental evaluation?"

"Like I'd tell you," Seifer snorted.

"Still mentally fucked up, I gather," she grinned.

"Can't be nearly as bad as your eval," Seifer shrugged. "At least _my_ mom was temporarily possessed when she did all those terrible things. What's the excuse for yours?" He took on a high-pitched voice, lifted up his arms, and screeched, "They're all gonna laugh at you! And the raven was called sin! I can see your dirty pillows! Go to your closet!" He snickered. "You probably don't even know what menstruation is, do you?"

Xu narrowed her eyes. "Fuck you."

"It's perfectly natural, Xu. Although, it's pretty clear why Mother Nature made you skip your cycle altogether. Why in the fuck would _you_ reproduce?"

Xu glared at him. "Are you done yet?"

"I'd throw a tampon at you if I had one."

"Hyne. You're such a _dick_, Almasy."

"Jealous?"

"You wish. It's anyone's fucking guess as to what _she_ sees in you, though."

Seifer furrowed his brows. "What _who_ sees in me?"

Xu ignored him. "Are you gonna tell me where Quistis is?"

"I don't _know_ where she is," Seifer snapped. "Why _would_ I, anyway? Do you think I'm keeping her prisoner or something?"

"Word around Garden is that you've been pretty possessive, yeah," Xu replied with a smug expression. She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow at him. "You won't let any students come near her when you're around."

Seifer rolled his eyes. "What-the-fuck-ever. The Trepies always piss their pants whenever they see me. What else is new?"

"And I heard that you do a little more than just cry on her shoulder in her room, if you know what I mean."

Seifer glared at her angrily. "Fuck off! If you want to find Quistis, why don't you go check the library or something? I thought you nerds all hung out together? Don't you have vagina radar?"

Xu was about to respond when Seifer held up a finger and interrupted her.

"Oh, that's right, I forgot. You don't _have_ a vagina."

"Fuck yourself."

"Wanna watch?"

"I haven't laughed in a while, so yeah. What sort of pathetic little trick do you use to get it up? Do you think about Squall Leonhart? You always _did_ get a rile out of teasing him."

Seifer glared at her. "How do _you_ do it, Xu? I mean, do you scissor? How is it physically possible to orgasm from - "

Xu punched him in the arm.

Seifer recoiled and made a face. "Oh, Hyne, mental picture. Shouldn't have said that. Hedge trimmers. I'm gonna barf."

Xu sighed in annoyance. "I'm done here. If you see Quistis, send her to Cid's office. He needs an update since your military tribunal is coming up."

Seifer glanced at her. "You know about that?"

"I'm Cid's right hand man. I know everything."

"I'm surprised you'd admit that, Xu."

"What? That I know everything? Isn't it obvious?"

"No, that you're a man."

Xu rolled her eyes. "The hits just keep on coming, don't they? You're _so_ fucking clever."

"What else did Cid say about the tribunal?"

"He's got to put together a roster of SeeDs willing to testify."

Seifer snorted and looked away. "Oh, great. I'm screwed."

Xu crossed her arms, but for once, she appeared sympathetic. "I wouldn't worry about it. You've got a lot of backers, including the higher-ups. Caraway and Martine will be there, and rumor has it that the president of Esthar is coming as well. Really, the only trouble we should expect to run into is Trabia, but seeing as how you weren't directly involved, they can't exactly prosecute you."

Seifer raised an eyebrow at her. "Gee, Xu, if I didn't know better, I'd say you're warming up to me."

"I see you as an investment to Garden only," Xu shrugged him off nonchalantly. "It'd be a tremendous waste to lose you, especially since you're a top SeeD."

Seifer shook his head and grinned. "Yeah. Damn shame."

Xu turned around and walked away without a response. Although Xu's explanation seemed cold-hearted and detached, it was simply her way of telling him that she didn't want anything to happen to him, either. It was never spoken but always mutal – they weren't exactly the best of friends, nor were they friendly to each other, but they were still comrades. Brothers in arms. Soldiers. And the SeeDs of Garden always looked out for each other.

Even if they spoke to each other with vulgar, hateful rhetoric.

Seifer watched her go. After a moment, he called after her. "Hey, Xu! What _who_ sees in me?"

The only response she gave him was the middle finger.

He shrugged and resumed his usual position, arms crossed, leaning against the wall and staring out into the quad, watching the other students come and go, but he couldn't exactly figure out just what to do with himself.

Until a blonde-headed, tattoo-faced opportunity presented itself.

Zell was walking across the quad quickly with his head down and hands shoved in his pockets, as if he didn't have time to stop and talk to anyone…or didn't want to.

Seifer narrowed his eyes. _…The hell?_

He watched with growing interest as Zell nervously looked around and made a beeline to the library.

_Ohh, shit. The chicken is gonna pay a visit to the little hen-house…_

It was common knowledge that Zell was head-over-heels in love with the library chick. Everyone knew it. And everyone knew that the library chick had fallen hard for Zell.

_Whoever falls in love with Chicken-wuss has to have some serious fucking mental problems,_ Seifer thought to himself with a smug grin. Now _she_ was definitely the type that needed a hard core mental evaluation.

Seifer, Fujin, and Raijin saw that shit all the time in the library when they were acting as the disciplinary committee last year. They'd made their rounds, the library being the last stop, and it never failed that Zell was in the library pretending to be lost, pretending to be looking for a book, or pretending to be studying. He remembered one instance where Zell was pretending to read but held the book upside down. To Seifer's absolute horror, the library chick would just blush and smile and giggle back, as if she thought it was the cutest thing in the world.

_Fucking gag me._

But Zell never followed through. He was too shy and never really initiated conversation, let alone try to introduce himself. It was so sickeningly obvious why he hung around the library, but it was incredibly sad that nothing had ever happened. Library chick hadn't ever taken the initiative, either.

One year later, Zell was pulling the same shit again.

_Pathetic._

Seifer decided to follow him, interested in seeing the same comic routine. It had been awhile since he'd even been in the library, and he was suddenly curious to see if Zell was even on speaking terms with library chick yet. He crossed the quad and entered the library quietly, glancing around for Zell. He had made his way towards the back, where there was a string of computers along the wall. Zell was seated at one of the computers with his back to Seifer.

_Hmm._

Seifer glanced over towards the front desk, where a petite brunette was filing away some books on a rolling cart.

_Nope. One year later and he's not even on speaking terms with her yet. Hyne. Zell is the definition of wuss._

He suddenly had an idea.

Seifer strode up to the front desk and leaned against it. "Hey."

The girl looked up and nodded politely to him. "Hello. Can I help you with something?"

Seifer cocked his head. "Do you know who I am?"

"Seifer Almasy, right?"

"That's right."

"Welcome home."

Seifer blinked, not expecting the response. He regarded her for a long moment. The girl turned pink and furrowed her brows.

"Did I…say something wrong?"

Seifer shrugged and shook his head. "No. I just figured you hated me. Seems to be the general consensus around here."

The girl shook her head. "The faculty told us what happened. They're already starting to explain the war in history class, and I've spoken to Instructor Trepe numerous times as well. I know you were only doing your duty as a SeeD."

Seifer raised an eyebrow at her at the mention of Quistis's name. "You know Instructor Trepe?"

The girl nodded.

"You spoke to her about me?"

"Well…"

"What did she say?"

The girl shook her head. "We weren't talking about you directly, really. She needed some library materials and a Trepie…er…" she cleared her throat. "…one of her students approached her and said that she was incredibly brave to be on speaking terms with you…about how she was the utmost role-model, the perfect instructor, unfit to hang around a…a…" she trailed off again and looked embarrassed.

"A lapdog," Seifer finished the sentence bitterly.

"…Yes…"

Seifer rolled his eyes. _Fucking Trepies._

"…but she cut him off, telling him that you were a hero too, and that you didn't do any of those things on purpose," the library girl continued. "She was actually kind of angry at him for saying those things about you. She gave him detention."

Seifer snapped to attention, staring at the library girl. "She gave him detention for bad-mouthing me?"

The girl nodded. "She sent him to the disciplinary room for a full day. Xu was the acting supervisor."

_Hell yes. Score._

The library girl grinned at Seifer, who seemed to inflate from the news. "Anyway, the whole debacle sort of turned some heads. This is a library, after all…and she was sort of yelling at him. When she sent him out of the room, I asked her what had happened and she explained your situation. What you had to go through."

Seifer crossed his arms, leaned against the desk, and stared at the floor in thought.

_Huh. I'll be damned. _

"So…anyway…I'm glad to see you so well…"

Seifer glanced at her. This girl was too nice for a fuck-up like Zell. Way too nice.

_Oh well. Her loss and his gain, if this works._

The girl cocked her head. "…are you back on the disciplinary committee? Are you here to pick up the weekly list of grievances?"

The library grievances were usually filed by the library personnel who documented the troublemakers or the constant loudmouths in the library when the disciplinary committee members weren't around. The list was later turned in and Seifer, Fujin, and Raijin would always track down the offender and give him or her a threat or two.

The library girl started to rummage around some files. "It's not very long this week…aside from that issue with Instructor Trepe…but that was taken care of…"

Seifer shook his head. "No, I'm not on the disciplinary committee anymore. I'm not here for that."

The library girl looked up. "Oh? Is it a book you need?"

_Fuuuuuck no._ "Actually…" Seifer leaned in a little closer and lowered his voice, cocking his head towards Zell, who still had his back to them and appeared to be doing a book search on one of the computers across the room. "I was wondering if you could do me a favor."

The library girl glanced at him and seemed hesitant. "A favor?"

"Yeah. See that guy? The blonde idiot with the tattoo on his face?"

The library girl turned pink and glanced at Zell shyly. "Um…yeah?"

"What do you think of him?"

She looked down and shook her head. "Um…I…I don't know…he's nice, I guess…"

"Well, see, he and I go way back…he's a good buddy of mine…and I'm just trying to help you two out."

She blinked. "I don't understand."

"You guys should go to the awards ceremony together."

She froze and stared at him. "I beg your pardon?"

"Got a date yet?"

The library girl looked down again and turned a deep shade of pink. "Um…no, not yet…but…"

"Then why not go in style?" Seifer flashed her a grin. _It's not every day you can have a hyperactive, spiky-headed, tattooed-faced numbnut at your side._

She smiled shyly. "But…" She bit her lip and hesitated. "He's like you…he's a hero. One of the seven. There are probably already a bunch of girls that want to go with him."

Seifer nearly snorted out loud. _Yeah. Right. A Chicken-wuss fan club. Zellites. Fuck, that's depressing._

"…He might already be going with someone…" the library girl continued quietly.

"He's not," Seifer replied flatly, rolling his eyes.

She glanced up at him. "He's not?"

Seifer cleared his throat. "He's waiting on you," he explained in a silky tone.

She looked away and hid another shy smile. "Um…I don't know…"

"See…" Seifer leaned in some more and flashed her a cryptic smile. "He _wants_ to go with you, but he's too shy. I think you should ask him before someone else does."

"But…"

"He doesn't come in here for the books," Seifer rolled his eyes. "Have you _seen_ him?"

She smiled and looked down.

Seifer crossed his arms and leaned closer. "Come on. Help the dude out. He's embarrassing himself. You're doing him – and me – a huge favor by going out with him."

She glanced up at Seifer and smiled.

Seifer winked at her. "He won't say no. Trust me."

"Um…are you serious about this? You're sure he wants to go with me?"

Seifer glanced over at Zell, who happened to be staring right at him. He was standing there, mid-walk, frozen in place with a mix of surprise, shock and horror on his face, which grew incredibly red and he looked as if he were going to burst.

Seifer grinned at him from across the room. "Oh, I'm sure."

The library girl hadn't noticed the silent exchange, but Seifer knew he got his message across. It was a miracle that Zell hadn't literally exploded on the spot. He glanced back over at the girl and crossed his arms.

"So? What do you think?"

The library girl looked down shyly. "Well…I do have a dress…"

Seifer straightened. "You're not going to regret this. If he doesn't ask you within a week, then you've gotta take control, got it?"

She nodded at him. "Um…why are you doing this?"

_Because Zell needs to fucking grow a pair. Because I'm going to go insane watching him act like a gigantic dumbass. Because we'll all be happier if this stupid merry-go-round shit would just end already._ "Hey. I can be a nice guy sometimes, can't I?"

She smiled and looked down.

"Oh yeah…the disciplinary committee leaders haven't dropped by, have they?" Seifer crossed his arms. "Fujin and Raijin?"

The library girl shook her head. "No, I haven't seen them. Would you like to leave them a message?"

Seifer shrugged. "Nah. I'll find 'em later." He started to walk away and winked at her again. "Remember what I told you. No backing out, okay?"

She blushed and smiled shyly. "Okay…"

Seifer turned around and began to head out of the library when he glanced at Zell, who was still staring at him, looking positively enraged. He took a few steps towards him and cocked his head towards the library girl, who now had her back to them, pushing a cart back towards the bookcases.

"Better snag her quick fuckface, because if you don't, I will," Seifer murmured in a low voice, grinning at him maliciously. "That's a cute little piece of ass."

Zell's face turned from an angry, beet red to an even angrier maroon, and it appeared as if every muscle in his body tensed. He immediately balled his hands into fists and literally looked as if he were going to explode. Before he could conjure a response, Seifer sauntered out of the library, leaving him behind to simmer. Zell glanced back towards the bookcases, meeting eyes with the library girl. She smiled shyly, blushed, and looked away to stack more books. Zell glared back towards the entrance, where Seifer had exited, and remained frozen in place, contemplating whether murder or suicide was really the best route.

Seifer chuckled as he headed towards the west wing out of habit, thinking about what had just happened in the library and hoping he'd run into Fuj and Rai to tell the story.

_That was awesome. I'm a genius. Zell's going to snap and burn the whole place to the ground,_ he mused with a grin. _Maybe now he'll grow a fucking penis and ask her out. If he thinks that I'm interested, that should get his ass moving. Guh. Thank Hyne I didn't puke all over that chick. How in the hell could she have googly-eyes for an idiot like Zell?_

He turned the corner and halted, suddenly remembering the ceremony décor committee that was all over the stage and blocking the way to his favorite spot in Garden. He groaned inwardly and gritted his teeth in exasperation.

_Fuck._

Selphie was in front of him, dancing in place, kicking her heels out, one foot after the other, and shaking her butt intermittently. She was carrying a small electronic music device that was attached to a thin cable that trailed up to the earbuds, firmly in place inside her ears. Selphie did a spin and pointed up at the stage lighting.

"Make sure you hang streamers after those lights are in place!" she yelled, a little louder than necessary. She abruptly turned around and began to dance again.

_Nnngh. Hyne. Why in the fuck do I keep heading in this direction? It's like a fucking death trap._

He raised an eyebrow as Selphie danced by herself, completely oblivious to everything else that was going on. She was singing along to the music, not caring whether or not she was off tune, and her dancing appeared to be sporadically spastic, as if she was being tazed and loosely pulled by puppeteer strings at the same time.

_The cheer fairy didn't just bless Messenger Girl with a dainty little wand…she hit her upside the head with a fuckin' baseball bat._

He sighed. _Oh, well. There's no avoiding this shit. Better to just get it overwith._

Seifer started to walk up to her slowly, not exactly sure how to approach the situation. Messenger Girl always seemed to be highly caffeinated, high on drugs, or just high on life. He knew that there was more than meets the eye with her and that she was not to be underestimated. She was a SeeD, after all. Either way, he was afraid of giving her a heart attack, and he didn't really want a kick in the nuts. He cocked his head and approached her carefully, as if he was approaching a skittish animal.

A skittish animal that danced and sang.

"If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it, if you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it, don't be mad once you see that he want it, if you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it…whoa oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh!!! Whoa oh-oh, oh-oh-oh oh…eep!"

Upon seeing him, Selphie jumped and let out a surprised squeak. Seifer stiffened and raised an eyebrow. He couldn't tell if she was afraid or if she was just shocked to see him. Either way, she didn't look very pleased, but at least he didn't get slammed in the balls.

She pulled out her earbuds and shifted her feet nervously. "Seifer…hi."

Seifer nodded curtly.

Selphie licked her lips nervously and waited for Seifer to say something, but when he didn't, she cocked her head curiously at him. "Um…can I help you?"

_Yeah. I'm lost. I obviously took a wrong turn._

Seifer sighed and looked away. "Uh…well…I just came by to…"

Selphie blinked.

"Well…er…you know…" Seifer clenched his jaw and shrugged.

Selphie's eyes grew wide. "You want to help out with the decorations?!"

"No!" Seifer held up his hands in alarm and stepped back. "Fuck, no!"

Selphie's shoulders slumped. "Oh."

Seifer cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his head. "I mean…that's not what I came here for. I uh…well…I'm…here to apologize."

Selphie stared at him in utter astonishment.

"For Trabia," he continued quickly with a shrug, averting her gaze. "I know it was your home. I didn't mean for it to happen." He cleared his throat and grumbled, "Sorry."

Selphie's jaw dropped. She blinked at him and struggled to respond, but her mind had gone blank.

Seifer shrugged and crossed his arms. "Thought you oughta know," he mumbled.

Without another word, he turned around and walked away, leaving Selphie standing there with her earbuds dangling out of her hands, shocked and flabbergasted.

Finally, when Seifer turned the corner, Selphie sucked in a breath she didn't know she was holding and whispered, "Oh…" She stood there for a long moment, staring down the empty outdoor walkway that connected the quad to the stage, and felt fresh tears prick at her eyes. She smiled softly and let out a breath.

"…Thank you."

**_. . ._**

Seifer hurried out of the west wing towards the dormitories, feeling like a gigantic tool.

…_What in the fuck possessed me to do that?_

…_The military tribunal is coming up, that's why. Xu said that Cid needed SeeD testimonies. I need Trabia on my side if I want this shit to go smoothly. It wasn't my fault. I shouldn't be blamed for it._

…_Messenger Girl's testimony won't really matter, though. Not in the long run. So why did I just do that?_

…_Because I don't want her to poison my food later. She scares the fuck out of me. I think she's on drugs._

_I'm being nice today. First Chicken-wuss, then Messenger Girl. What the hell is going on? You're turning soft, Almasy. You're talking about your feelings too much with Quistis. …Maybe she injected me with some sort of sympathy serum in my sleep?_

…_There's nothing wrong with what I did. It's corny, but…it was necessary. Right?_

…_I have to live with these people. Better to make amends now than to face their retaliation later._

_Besides…Chicken-wuss needs to get LAID. And Messenger Girl needs to let that shit go._

…_Am I helping them?_

_No. I'm not fucking helping them. It's strictly a military tactic. They can't have that shit on their minds during a mission…they can't hate me forever. Especially if we're supposed to be on the same team._

…_I'm not helping them. I need to help myself first…like telling Quistis…_

Seifer glanced up and noticed Quistis walking across the quad from the direction of the infirmary, carrying a large stack of books and looking completely different.

…_ah, hell._

Her blonde hair was out of its clip and flowing freely past her shoulders. Instead of being pin-straight, like Seifer had always thought it would be, it had a few soft waves to it.

_Probably from being clipped up for so damn long. It's been dented for life._

Zell and Selphie were completely thrown out of his thoughts as soon as he saw her, and he watched with awe as she walked across the quad, heading towards him and the dormitory wing with her head down and her brows furrowed, as if she were concentrating on something. Her loose hair fell over one eye and she reached up to tuck it behind her ear. She wasn't wearing her glasses.

_Fuck. She looks absolutely gorgeous. _Seifer frowned._ There's gotta be a catch. Either she's got a hot date, or…_

He set his jaw. _Or there's another reason._

Either way, he had to find out.

"Quistis."

Quistis stopped and glanced over to find Seifer standing there in the hallway. It was rare to hear him say her name. She couldn't tell from his posture and expression whether he was angry, concerned, or just plain aggravated – he was leaning against the wall, arms crossed, brow furrowed – but she walked over to him and cocked her head curiously.

"Yeah?"

Seifer motioned to her hair. "What's the occasion?"

She looked down and flushed. "Oh…um…nothing, really. I just wanted to try a new look."

_Bullshit. _He set his jaw. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I think you're lying."

Quistis narrowed her eyes. "Oh, so now I need to provide an excuse to you over how I do my hair?"

"You never let your hair down."

She swallowed, slightly flattered that he'd even notice, but quickly recovered. "Maybe I wanted to change things up a little."

"You're not _that_ adventurous, Trepe."

Quistis crossed her arms. _Never mind. Not flattered._ "Well, _thank you_ for the compliment," she replied with angry sarcasm.

He suddenly reached forward and gently brushed her hair aside and swore after seeing the dark bruise that had blossomed up around her neck.

"Hyne."

Quistis turned her head away. "It's not that bad, Seifer. Your cure spell worked; it's just that the physical repercussions are unavoidable. The tissue will still bruise."

Seifer grit his teeth. "Yeah, sure. You sound like every single abused woman on the planet with a serious denial problem."

"Seifer, it wasn't your fault - "

Seifer gently turned her head towards him and used a thumb to turn her chin up, examining the bruise intently. Quistis felt a rush of heat flutter through her chest from his touch and turned pink, examining him out of the corner of her eye.

"Seifer - "

"Damn it, Quistis. Next time punch me in the face or something," Seifer growled. "If I hurt you that much, why didn't you do anything?"

"Because I knew it wasn't deliberate," Quistis replied. "Besides…I…"

Seifer narrowed his eyes. "What?"

"You really think I was going to attack you back?"

"You should've."

"I've hurt you enough."

He lowered his hand and she faced him. After a pause, she reached forward and took his arm gently.

"Your scar…" she said in a quiet voice.

Seifer watched her intently, knowing that she was referring to the slice her whip had made almost a year ago when they fought against each other. It was really the only physical scar she'd left on him from the war, aside from multiple burn wounds from the magics she'd cast, but those hardly ever scarred. There was a long pause. He swallowed and looked down. Her touch was searing.

"It's nothing," he grumbled.

There was a sudden, muffled squeal that eminated from somewhere in the quad, and Quistis dropped his arm as he curled a lip and looked around.

"…the fuck was that?"

**_. . ._**

Rinoa and Squall had been slowly walking through the quad, towards the dormitory wing, when Rinoa suddenly stopped short and stared ahead with a look of surprise.

Squall paused and glanced at her. "What is it?"

"It's Seifer and Quistis."

He followed her gaze and blinked. _Oh._

Seifer and Quistis were talking about something, but it looked as if it was a quiet argument.

Rinoa smiled. "He's concerned about her."

Squall narrowed his eyes, trying to scrutinize the pair further. "How can you tell?"

"His jaw muscles keep flexing, like he's angry about something, but I can see it in his eyes."

Squall blinked. Seifer still looked like Seifer to him. No matter what, he always looked pissed. How Rinoa could tell the difference, he hadn't a clue.

_There are some things about women that I'll never understand,_ Squall thought to himself. _They've got a fucking sixth sense about…feelings._

"Lookit! Look! Awww, he's _touching_ her! He's making sure she's okay." Rinoa smiled wider and pointed. "See? He's checking her out – oh, look how _tender_ he's being with her – and he looks so _angry!_" She beamed up at Squall. "It's so sweet how Seifer's so protective over her."

Squall blinked in surprise as he watched Seifer reach forward and touch Quistis's neck. _Yeah. Wow…he is. That's the first time I've ever seen him so…caring. Granted, he still looks pissed, but he's pissed off in a…concerned way. Hrm._

One thing was for sure – he'd underestimated him. Although Squall knew that Seifer always harbored strong feelings for Quistis – practically since they were children – he was skeptical that the brute would ever be able to properly display how he felt about her.

_Then again, I'm not exactly a bundle of loving compassion, either. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black._

"Let's go before they spot us," Squall tugged at Rinoa's elbow. _It's weird – and a little disturbing – to be witnessing this._

"Yeah…let's not ruin the moment," Rinoa grinned. Her grin immediately turned into open-mouthed, wide-eyed surprise as she blatantly pointed at the pair and hopped up and down in excitement. Squall glanced back at them. Quistis was holding Seifer's arm, and she was openly blushing.

…_Whoa, Quis. Didn't know you could melt into – _

Rinoa interrupted his thoughts with a squeal. "Ooooohhh, just _look - _"

Squall stifled a curse and grabbed Rinoa, picked her up into a gigantic bear hug, both restraining her and muffling her at the same time, and swirled over to the side behind the large fountain surrounding the middle of the quad in one fluid motion before Seifer and Quistis could notice them.

Rinoa's head was buried in his neck and her arms were crushed against his chest, but her body was shaking. She was laughing. He looked down at her and gave her a disapproving stare.

"Not so loud. They heard you."

"I'm sorry, Squall," she giggled. "I couldn't help it. I've never seen Quistis look like that before."

Squall's gaze softened. _Neither have I._

"Did they see us?" she whispered.

Squall slowly released his death crush on her and leaned back, craning his neck so he could spot them around the bend.

"No. I don't think so. They're probably walking down the dormitory wing."

"Hey, look," Rinoa pointed towards the library entrance. "There's Zell!"

Squall turned around and noticed Zell – his face redder than normal – walking towards the training center with his fists balled and his head down. He looked like he was talking to himself.

"Another failed attempt at the library girl," Squall grinned.

"Poor guy," Rinoa sighed. "I wish they would get together. I haven't been here that long, but even _I_ know that this is starting to get ridiculous."

**_. . ._**

"Did you hear that?" Seifer looked around. "Sounded like someone skewered a chipmunk."

"Let's get going," Quistis glanced at her watch and shifted the stack of books in her arms. "I feel like I'm being watched. I don't really want to talk to any students today. I've already had my fill."

Seifer glanced at her and grinned. "Were you tackled by a Trepie today, instructor? Did he hump your leg?"

"Shut up."

"Did you get a note from one of them? Did you have to circle 'yes' or 'no' ?"

Quistis rolled her eyes. "I'm going to my room. You don't have to complete a session with me today if you don't want to, but you might as well since you don't seem to have anything to do."

Seifer narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean?"

"When you stand in the hallway like that, either you have nothing to do or you're thinking of ways to harass the junior classmen."

He crossed his arms and scowled. "Oh yeah? Looks like you've got a fun-filled evening ahead of you, too," he retorted, motioning to the stack of books. "Nerd."

She sighed and started to walk. "Touché, Seifer. Are you coming or not?"

He shrugged and grinned, trailing after her. "Looks like you've got me by the balls, instructor, as always."

_As always?_ Quistis made a face and shook her head. _More like never._ She shifted the stack again. "Well, then, let's go."

"Here," Seifer held out a hand and motioned towards her stack of books. "Give me some of those."

She continued walking and raised a skeptical eyebrow. "What?"

"I said give me some books."

She grinned at him. "Are you planning on reading about the introductory physiology and biomagic of elementals, Seifer?"

He rolled his eyes. "Maybe I am. Would it surprise you?"

Quistis chuckled. "I don't think I've ever seen you open a book before."

"Are you going to hand me the damn books or not?"

"Seifer, I'm perfectly capable of carrying all of these - "

"Forget it, then. Don't say I didn't offer to help you."

"Are you offering?"

"No."

"Then I think I can say that you didn't offer - "

With a disgruntled sigh, Seifer stepped over to Quistis and yanked four thick books from her arms, leaving her with only one. "Fuckin' shit, Quis."

She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and suppressed a pleased grin.

"Where have you been all morning?" Seifer asked.

"Why? Were you looking for me?"

"No, but I haven't seen you around. I haven't seen Fujin or Raijin, either. Do you know where they're at?"

"Cid sent them to Esthar for a report," Quistis replied quietly.

He glanced at her. "How do you know that?"

"I was in Cid's office all morning, that's why," she explained. "I ran into Xu and she said that Cid wanted to see me. I was up there for awhile discussing some issues, and…and I asked about Ellone…and…"

"Fujin and Raijin were sent to find out what the fuck's going on?" Seifer finished.

"Yes. So far, there doesn't seem to be much progress, but I guess we'll know for sure pretty soon."

"I guess everything else is _classified_, huh?" Seifer rolled his eyes.

Quistis didn't anwer, and they remained silent all the way to her room. As soon as she slid her card key into the slot, Seifer entered first and placed the stack of books on the floor, then slumped over on the couch and sighed. Quistis gathered her notebook, pen, and recorder and took her usual spot on the chair, flipping back to the last day of her notes and pulling out her glasses.

"All right…we left off…when you were on Galbadia Garden."

**_. . ._**

_Seifer exhaled the cigarette smoke and looked out over the dark shore, which was illuminated by the pale moonlight. Most of the Galbadian soldiers were asleep, so he'd come up to the balcony for some rest. He was sitting on the steps, resting his head against the cool metal railing, looking out towards the sea. The orphanage was in plain view, but its sad little state could make the place easily look like a pile of rubble. The lights hadn't been lit in years. The stone walls were cracked and eroded, accumulated with years of salt from the air. The weeds were overgrown and had snaked their way through the cracks of the walkways and up the walls. The beach, however…_

_The beach remained the same._

_Seifer stared out towards the beach and watched the moonlight reflect off of the foaming waves as they slid up and down the smooth sand._

_He and the others used to collect shells off of that beach. Squall would always give his shells to Sis. Seifer smirked as he remembered stealing Zell's shells and tossing them back in the sea, then laughing and running in the shallow waves as Quistis chased after him in retaliation. He remembered putting seaweed in Quistis's hair._

_He thought about her hair and sighed, taking in another long drag._

_What he wouldn't give to feel the sand below his feet and the waves at his ankles…he wanted to shed his dirty trench coat and immerse himself in the seawater. The breeze wafted in the faint smell of fish and dry seaweed from the shore, combined with the field full of wildflowers, but it wasn't quite the same as it was before. Matron's clean linens weren't hanging out to dry. Her cookies weren't baking in the oven. He couldn't remember what Quistis used to smell like…and he knew it was a distinct smell…_

_Hell. The only smell he'd known for almost a year was stale sweat, blood, male body odor, and gunpowder. It made him want to vomit._

_He looked down at his hands. There was still blood caked under his fingernails. He couldn't tell if it was his own or someone else's._

"Seifer?"

Seifer blinked and looked up. Quistis was sitting across from him, glasses on, staring at him expectantly.

"Huh?"

"Was there…something you were going to say?"

Seifer blinked again and furrowed his brows. "What?"

"You kind of trailed off…" Quistis chewed the end of her pen. "What were you thinking about?"

Seifer glanced down and looked at his fingernails. "…Nothing."

She raised an eyebrow. "Nothing at all?"

He glared at her. "No. Drawing a blank, _instructor_."

She set her jaw at the nickname and bit back a nasty reply. She looked down at her notebook and forced herself to calm down. For some reason, even though he'd agreed to proceed with an unscheduled mental evaluation for the day, Seifer wasn't being cooperative. The hours had passed by and it was nearing late afternoon, but he seemed too distracted to focus. He'd drift off into deep thought, then refuse to answer questions. Quistis sighed and nibbled the edge of her pen. He was in a strange mood, and she couldn't understand why this mood was different from his other moods. He wasn't being an outright asshole, but he wasn't being nice, either. He seemed a little…

…depressed. Brooding. Agitated. Something's on his mind…

Why or over what, she couldn't say.

"You seem sad," she chose her words carefully and slowly. "Are you all right?"

Seifer rolled his eyes. "Peachy."

…_It's been almost two weeks and I'm still beating around the fucking bush._

Seifer realized with rising dread that he was turning into Zell.

_Hyne. _

That, and he was absolutely sick of the whole mental evaluation bullshit. Hadn't Quistis come to the conclusion by now that he wasn't insane?

"Let's try again, Seifer. You had mentioned that after the Garden fight, you escaped to Esthar?"

He crossed his arms and let out a disgruntled sigh. "That's right."

"How?"

"A few Galbadian captains that accompanied me radioed in a ship and they picked us up off of the Centran coast."

"Then what?"

"As soon as we neared the western shore of Esthar, a ship stopped us and we were boarded. I was arrested and so were my captains. We were all brought to Esthar for questioning, and that's when I met Commander Seagill."

"And the rest of Laguna's administration?"

"Yeah."

Quistis sighed. "I'm sure they knew everything that was going on, didn't they?"

"Yep."

_Upon his arrival in Esthar, Seifer wasn't making things easy for the navy, knocking down anyone who'd try to drag him to jail and demanding to talk with someone in charge, claiming it was a matter of life and death. When he had mentioned the names 'Ellone' and 'Edea,' however, it alerted the soldiers and the whole debacle had eventually landed him in front of the captain of the guard, Kiros Seagill._

"_I need a radio! Get off!" Seifer yanked his arms away from the two Esthar soldiers and stepped up to the captain. "I need to contact Balamb Garden as soon as possible! It's SeeD business. It's an emergency, dammit!"_

_Kiros narrowed his eyes. "You're a SeeD?"_

_Seifer set his jaw and didn't reply._

"_He arrived with Galbadian soldiers, sir," an Esthar soldier informed him. "They claimed to come in peace…their ship had a white flag on it."_

_Kiros narrowed his eyes at Seifer. "The Galbadians attacked our fleet in the name of 'peace.' Can you tell me anything about that?"_

_Seifer shook his head angrily. "What? I don't know what you're talking about."_

"…_I know you," Kiros examined him. "You're Seifer Almasy."_

_Seifer remained silent, but realized where this was headed. Shit. How could he have been so careless? He forgot that his face was notorious throughout the land._

"_You're the one who's been helping the sorceress," Kiros immediately gripped his machine gun with both hands and trained it on Seifer. "Transfer him to prison immediately."_

_The two Esthar guards yanked Seifer's cuffed wrists back and shoved him towards a podcar. _

"_No…wait! Hey! Let me go! Hyne! This is important! You have to listen to me!"_

"_Put Mister Almasy in C-block," Kiros ordered in a bored tone. "I'll process him myself." He held out his hand. "Give me that."_

_A guard carrying Hyperion handed over the gunblade and Kiros slung it over his shoulder._

"_Looks like your glory days are over, lapdog," he sneered. With that, he turned around and got into a podcar._

"_Stop! You don't know what the fuck you're doing! Let go! I can tell you about the sorceress' plans!"_

_The guards dragged Seifer away to the Esthar prison, where he was thrown in a small cell with vertical red lasers that served as bars. He had spent most of his time trying to figure how to break out and warn Cid, but the technology was so advanced that he didn't have a clue about where to start._

_I should've listened to Quistis's lecture on hotwiring control panels._

_There was also an anti-magic forcefield throughout the entire area, so blasting the control panel with thunder was out of the question._

_He was considering sticking his hand in the red beam when the door on the opposite side of his cell slid open and Kiros stepped through._

"_I'm here to take Almasy," he notified the prison guard._

"_Yes, sir."_

_The red beams disappeared and Seifer stood there, wary and confused, until Kiros motioned to the door._

"_Come with me."_

_Once in the elevator, he handed Seifer Hyperion and crossed his arms. "I apologize for that stunt I pulled on you earlier…but we had to keep up the illusion that you were the sorceress's knight. We've been expecting you, SeeD Almasy."_

_Seifer narrowed his eyes at Kiros. "But how…?"_

"_Headmaster Cid informed us of your current situation," Kiros explained. "President Loire has been briefed on the events concerning the sorceress for some time. We've known since the broadcast from Timber. Dr. Odine has kept a close eye on the recent events that have been unfolding."_

_Odine. Of course. Makes sense._

"_Is Cid here?" Seifer asked._

"_No, but he's on his way," Kiros said. "His wife is recovering at their old orphanage facility, but it seems there was an incident. Squall Leonhart and his team of SeeDs brought back a young woman in some sort of coma. Would you know anything about this?"_

_Rinoa._

"_That's what I wanted to tell Cid," Seifer nodded. "Ultimecia isn't gone. She jumped from Edea to Rinoa. She told me her plans just before she switched bodies…"_

_Seifer trailed off. It seemed almost disrespectful to be talking about Matron and Rinoa that way. It sounded so invasive…so…manipulative…so…_

_Evil._

_Kiros looked down and cleared his throat. "We'll discuss things more when Cid arrives. In the meantime, I suggest you take advantage of President Loire's hospitality and get some food and rest. You've earned it."_

"So they already knew you were working undercover?" Quistis asked.

"That's correct."

"What about Ellone? Where was she during all of this?"

"She was supposedly on a White SeeD ship the whole time, although I didn't know that until I got to Esthar," Seifer replied.

"The White SeeDs claimed that they were attacked by Galbadians."

"They weren't _attacked_, they were _pursued_," Seifer corrected her. "The entire fleet was out there looking for Ellone, but it was because I told them to find her and protect her. Edea told me to send the fleet after her, but I instructed the captains to protect her at all costs if they ever did find her." Seifer shrugged. "I didn't know what Ultimecia wanted with Ellone, but I wasn't about to find out."

"But there was a battle between the Estharian fleet and the Galbadian fleet," Quistis pointed out. "The White SeeDs claimed to have been caught in the middle."

"The Galbadians, at the time, had no idea that Esthar's intentions were good. And Esthar attempted to board the White SeeD ship to take Ellone…so the Galbadian captains obeyed my orders to protect her and did what they thought was best – they opened fire on Esthar and tried to get Ellone. Esthar returned fire and the dumbasses navigating the White SeeD ship were too stupid to get out of the way." Seifer snorted. "I didn't know any of this had happened until I got to Esthar. Luckily Ellone was smart enough to jump ship. She eventually ended up in Esthar as well."

Quistis wrote a few notes and then tapped her pen on the paper. She glared down at her notes and adjusted her glasses.

_Esthar…Esthar…hmm…_

She blinked and furrowed her brows.

"Something wrong?" Seifer asked.

"Um…no," she shook her head and tucked some hair behind her ear. "I just…drew a blank. I forgot what I was going to ask you next."

Seifer bit the inside of his cheek. _C'mon. The Lunatic Pandora. You want to ask me about the Lunatic Pandora._

Quistis blinked again and looked up at the ceiling, as if she was trying to remember something. "Hmm…ok…we fought Edea…you escaped…we went to the orphanage…Rinoa was asleep…you were in Esthar…"

"Take your time, Trepe," Seifer rolled his eyes. "Not like I have to be anywhere."

"Was that meant to be sarcastic, or do you really have other plans?" Quistis looked up at him.

"Yeah. Sure. I'm helping out with the ceremony decorations," Seifer gave her a smug grin.

She rolled her eyes and looked back down at the notes. "Am I missing something…?"

He watched her closely, as if his stare could will her into remembering. As she sat there, mulling over her notes as if she were studying for a life-or-death SeeD test, he examined her posture…her hair, which was still down…her bare feet, since she'd taken her shoes off…

He suddenly longed to be in class again. He remembered how she used to be when she taught class. The view was great when he sat in the back.

"Just give me a second, Seifer," Quistis turned off the recorder and flipped through her notes. "It'll come to me."

He couldn't mask his disappointment when he replied, "Of course it will."

**_. . ._**

After eating an early, brief dinner by himself (Selphie had snatched Rinoa away for secret girl-talk), Squall walked through the quad carrying a few bottles of water from the cafeteria when he had noticed Irvine emerge from the training center, looking winded. He cocked his head and raised an eyebrow.

"Irvine?"

Irvine looked up and seemed relieved to see him. "Squall! Good timing! I need your help."

"What's the matter?"

"It's Zell. He's gone ballistic."

Squall rolled his eyes. "So? What else is new?"

"No, I mean…something's wrong with him. He's super pissed off today…he's been in there for hours."

"Did the cafeteria deny him hotdogs again?"

Irvine shook his head. "It's nothing like that. He hasn't even _eaten_ yet. Just come with me and see for yourself. Something ain't right."

After Irvine led Squall through the synthetic jungles of the training center, Zell's hoarse bellows and the sound of wood splintering could be heard as they drew closer towards him. Irvine pulled back a long branch and pointed at Zell, who was surrounded by wilted Grats, the bodies of two giant T-Rexaurs, and splintered wood. It almost looked as if a ship carrying monsters had wrecked right in the middle of the training center…or a hurricane had blown through and the only one standing was Zell, who was kicking and punching some trees that had remained standing.

Squall blinked. _Uhh…?_

"I told you," Irvine shrugged. "The boy's gone loopy."

Squall let out a disgruntled sigh and shook his head. _Thank Hyne I'm not in charge of the training center. What a fucking mess. _He strode forward and pulled out his gunblade as a precaution.

"Zell!"

Zell stopped mid-punch and glanced at Squall with a half-mad, bloodthirsty look in his eyes. He looked like he was half-grinning, half-grimacing. His knuckles were bloody and his black gloves were torn all the way up to the wrist.

"Oh. Squall. Hey."

Squall raised an eyebrow and his gaze darted back and forth from Zell to the tree, back to Zell again. "Um…what are you doing?"

Zell held out his hands, motioning to the dead Grats that lay piled up in a circle around him. "What's it look like? I'm training."

"You've annhiliated half the population in the training center," Squall replied flatly.

Zell shrugged and turned back to the tree. "The survivors'll breed."

"Hey, buddy," Irvine slowly emerged from the foliage and strolled around the dead Grats, looking as if he admired Zell's work. "Whatcha got there? Dead plants?"

Zell narrowed his eyes. "I _told_ you, I've been training. What do you want?"

"I think you've trained enough," Squall took another step towards him.

Zell glanced at Squall. "What do you want?" he repeated the question slowly.

"We just wanna make sure you're doin' all right," Irvine shrugged. "You're uh…you're bleedin' pretty bad."

"I'm _fine_," Zell snarled, turning on both of them with his fists clenched. "What is this? What are you two doing? Are you in on it too?"

Irvine and Squall exchanged confused glances. Squall glanced back at Zell. "In on it?"

Zell pointed a shaky, bloody finger at Irvine. "You are, aren't you?" He pointed the other finger at Squall. "You are too! Stay away from me! This is too fucked up!"

"Tell me about it," Irvine grumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose. He turned to Squall. "Would you like to do the honors?"

"Love to." With a quick motion, Squall opened his palm towards Zell before he could do or say anything further. Zell's eyes immediately rolled to the back of his forehead and his entire body went limp. He collapsed onto the hard ground like a rag doll and let out a soft snore.

"Son of a bitch," Irvine sighed, stepping over the Grats and staring down at Zell. "What in the hell happened?"

Squall sighed and clipped his gunblade back to his belt, shrugging. "I don't know, but let's get him out of here. Hopefully that sleep spell will calm him down for a bit."

**_. . ._**

Quistis Trepe was dressed in her standard SeeD uniform, but something was different this time around. Her skirt was shorter than normal, it seemed, and instead of her usual knee-length combat boots, she was wearing stiletto pumps. She was flipping through the pages of a textbook, trying to find the chapter, but Seifer was ignoring the textbook. He was leaning forward, trying to get a better look.

_Damn. I've never seen her in pumps before._

The heels, coupled with the short skirt, made those legs of hers go on forever.

Seifer gulped.

Quistis sighed, adjusted her glasses, sat on her desk, and crossed her legs. Seifer's jaw went slack.

_Damn!_

"Seifer, Seifer. Detention again. What should it be this time? Writing lines, an assigned essay, or a reading exercise?"

"I don't know," Seifer rolled his eyes. "Surprise me."

Quistis glanced at him and blinked. "Surprise you?"

Seifer shrugged.

She sighed again and pulled off her glasses, shutting the book and setting both items on the desk. "All right." She slid off the desk and pulled the clip out of her hair, shaking the long blonde mane loose.

Seifer blinked. Then blinked again.

_Whoa._

"I'm going to need my whip for this," she said in an annoyed tone, as if she had better things to do. She patted her sides and realized that it wasn't attached to her belt. "Now where did I….oh…"

She turned around and leaned over the desktop, opening the drawer from the other side. Because of the far reach, however, her skirt rode up.

Seifer's jaw dropped and he leaned forward, nearly falling out of his chair.

_Oh…my….holy…fucking…_

He caught a glimpse of black lace. He also caught a glimpse of those long legs reaching all the way up to that perfect, round little ass, hugged by black lace that looked _painted_ on…

_I didn't know Quistis owned panties like that…_

Quistis straightened and turned around. "Something wrong?"

Seifer shook his head dumbly.

She grinned and glanced at Save the Queen, which was dangling in her hand. "Good. Now, Seifer, how many detentions has it been?"

_Shit. Thousands._

Seifer shrugged. "I lost count."

"I think I've punished you in every way possible."

"Probably."

"There's only one thing to do with you."

Seifer turned his head but kept his gaze on her suspiciously. "Like…what…?"

Quistis slowly walked up to him…but she didn't walk…she sauntered. She put one long, silken leg in front of the other carefully, tantalizingly…

Seifer gulped again.

She stood directly in front of him so that he had to swivel away from his desk to face her. Suddenly, she hooked the whip around his neck and raised her knee, pulling him into it and pressing it up against his chest.

"You haven't been _physically_ punished yet, have you?"

He was inches from glimpsing up her skirt, but he was restricted from movement. He glanced down at her thigh.

Hyne. He wanted to taste it. Gnaw on it. Move his way up and –

"Seifer, are you paying attention?"

"Umm…yeah?"

"Then please tell me what you think should be your punishment."

Seifer grinned. "Shit, you should teach class like this all the time."

Quistis tightened the whip and leaned closer. "What's your answer, Seifer?"

Seifer stared up at her blue eyes and paused. His gaze trailed down to her lips.

_Uhh…?_

He blinked and suddenly felt hot. "Uh…can you repeat the question…?"

Quistis sighed and released the whip, lowered her leg, and turned back towards the front of the room. Seifer watched after her with a surprised look on his face. She turned around and unbuttoned the top button of her SeeD jacket, revealing the slightest hint of black lace.

Seifer glanced around as if he were making sure he was the only one in the room. "Uhh…You feelin' all right, Trepe?"

Quistis grinned. "It's a little hot in here, that's all. Now…where was I…?"

She continued to button down her SeeD jacket and Seifer gaped as she slowly shrugged it off. Instead of a normal, white blouse with a tie, she was wearing a black bustier that tied in the front and exposed ample cleavage. It stopped at her midriff and he could see how low-rise her skirt really was.

_Oh, Hyne._

Quistis hopped back up on the desk and crooked her finger towards him. "Come here, Almasy."

Seifer blinked. He hesitated. When Quistis turned her head, licked her lips, and brushed her hair out of her face, however, it wasn't his brain that caused him to spring up from out of his chair. Something else was delegating his movements.

He walked towards her until he was a few feet away.

Quistis narrowed her eyes at him. "Closer."

He took a step closer. A grin formed on his face. "So am I in trouble, instructor?"

Quistis gripped his collar and yanked him forward, wrapping her legs around his waist and leaning into him seductively.

"Yes. You're in deep," she breathed into his lips.

_Mmmm. Yes…_

He placed his hands on her thighs and shifted the skirt up, revealing those black lace panties as he leaned in to examine her eyes…her lips…her breasts…

"Seifer…"

_Ohh yeah._

"Seifer."

_You want it._

"Seifer?"

_What?_

"Seifer!!"

Quistis's annoyed voice jolted him out of his daydream and he snapped to attention. She was glaring at him from across the room, arms crossed, looking impatient. He was sitting on the couch and automatically grabbed a throw pillow, shoving it into his lap.

"What?!"

"Were you listening?"

"Yes! Fuck!"

"What was the last thing I said?"

"Uhh…"

Quistis sighed and tossed the pen into her notebook, flipping off the recorder. "What is going on? Why haven't you been paying attention?"

"Because you bore the fuck out of me with that bullshit academic babble of yours," Seifer snapped irritably, wishing the black-panties Quistis was in front of him. Instead, he had granny-panties Quistis with a metal rod up her ass. "Hyne, Trepe, sometimes I swear you're really a robot in disguise."

"What the hell is with you today?" Quistis tossed her notebook aside and motioned to him angrily. "We've been at it all day, and you can't seem to focus on _anything_! It's already 2100 hours!"

"Why can't we just fucking call it a day, then?" Seifer snapped. "I don't really feel like spilling my guts to you right now. I've been doing it for the past week. You've bled me dry, for fuck's sake. Haven't we done enough?"

"No, because like it or not, you've got a deadline now," Quistis replied, crossing her arms. "Headmaster Cid informed me today that you have to finish your mental evaluation before your military tribunal so the panel will see that you're physically and mentally sound, according to our medical standards." She rubbed her forehead and turned towards the notebook to dig her pen back out. "So would you _please_ just cooperate? I want to get this overwith as fast as possible."

There was an uncomfortable pause.

Seifer narrowed his eyes, set his jaw, and nodded briskly. "Huh. I see."

Quistis held his glare, already knowing that she'd said the wrong thing. _Oh, no._

"So that's what this is all about," Seifer sneered.

"What _what's_ all about?"

"You invited me to your room because you want to finish this shit up as fast as you can," Seifer stood up and glared down at her. "You've been meeting with Cid behind my back about my so-called mental stability and now the politicians are going to be involved - "

"Seifer - "

"- even though you said all this shit was going to be confidential - "

"It still _is_ confidential!"

"- so Garden will finally be rid of me after you put my head on a fucking platter - "

"Seifer, that's _not_ how it's going to be! Will you just hear me out?!"

He shook his head and turned towards the door, mumbling, "Fuck this."

Quistis stood up. "Seifer, wait! Where are you going?"

"I'm leaving."

"No! Seifer, stop!" Quistis shot forward and stopped him before he got to the tiny corridor leading to the door. "Will you just settle down?! You're jumping to conclusions even before hearing the full story!"

"Fuck this shit!" Seifer threw his hands up. "I mean, let's be honest here. Who is this helping, Trepe?"

Quistis opened her mouth to respond but he interrupted her.

"It's helping your _career_, that's for damn sure," he sneered.

She narrowed her eyes. "I've told you before; none of this has anything to do with my station in Garden - "

"Why does it fucking matter? I'm tired of talking about this shit over and over. It's useless."

"It's not useless," she argued back. "The more you get it out of your system, the better you'll feel."

Seifer curled a lip. "Wanna bet?"

"It's not working because you refuse to confide in me," Quistis crossed her arms.

Seifer chortled. "Have you just now figured that out?"

"You have to trust me, Seifer. I'm trying to help."

"It'll be a cold day in hell when I cry on your shoulder, Trepe."

Quistis snatched her glasses off and tossed them onto the coffee table. "You have to at least _try_ to talk to me if you want this to go anywhere - "

"I don't need this shit," Seifer snapped and glanced away. A Quistis without glasses was distracting. "For the hundredth fucking time, I did what I was supposed to do. I _survived_. I saved everyone's ass. I don't _need_ therapy. What I fucking _need_ is a big, fat juicy steak, a large beer, and maybe a couple hundred cigarettes to calm my nerves."

Quistis put her hands on her hips. "I don't understand why it's so hard for you to sit down with me and discuss your experiences."

Seifer gritted his teeth. "For _one_, you were _there_. You _saw_ what I had to deal with."

"I told you, I need to know what it was like from your perspective - "

"For _two_," Seifer interrupted her harshly, "you don't even fucking _care_. You're doing this because Cid told you to, and now you're hustling up because there's probably a big, fat promotion at the end of the tunnel. You're not doing this shit out of the pure goodness of your heart like you claim. Just admit it, Trepe."

Quistis set her jaw. "Seifer, I care - "

"Oh, please. You're doing this to save your own ass," Seifer rolled his eyes. "That sappy shit won't work on me, Trepe."

Quistis's mouth dropped open slightly. She took a step forward to refute his statement, but he waved his hand and dismissed her by interrupting her again.

"On top of that, what could I possibly say to you that would make a difference, Trepe? Everything I've been telling you obviously had _no_ effect. None. It doesn't matter. There's a bias there. Always was."

"What do you mean?"

"You think I'm a total fuck-up."

"Seifer, I - "

"_I'm_ the broken one. _I'm_ the guinea pig you've always had since the orphanage that you could always attempt to fix; you're so fucking prim and proper that you think you have to mold everyone else to be just like you - "

"That's not true!" Quistis set her jaw.

" – and now that Cid wants this evaluation done, you jumped at the chance to pick me apart under that little microscope of yours just to see how fucked up I really am - "

"Oh, Seifer, _shut up!_" Quistis barked, her voice quivering. "You bitch and moan about how you're always being judged, but why are you always the one to be first in line to purposely piss everyone else off? _You _were alwaysthe one landing yourself in detention. _You're_ the one who used to cause the fights. And every time I try to help, _you're_ the one who's always pushing me away! Why? Why do you do that? Why won't you let me in?? Why won't you just let me _help_ you?!"

"I don't need your fucking _help_," Seifer growled.

"Don't _lie_ to me," Quistis snapped, stood her ground. "And for Hyne's sake, I'm not chasing after your mental evaluation for a stupid promotion! If that were the case, I would have _quit_ already!"

"Then why _don't_ you?!" he snapped.

She tried to laugh, but it came out as an angry, half-shuddered chuckle. Her eyes started to sting. "You'd _like_ that, wouldn't you? Because you _hate_ me, don't you?"

Seifer looked away angrily.

"In fact," Quistis stepped forward and pointed at him, "you _never_ call me by my first name! Never! Instead, you go out of your way to be condescending and impassive. If I didn't know you better, I'd say that you genuinely loathe me. What did I do to make you act like that towards me, Seifer?"

"Oh, boo-fucking-hoo, _Instructor_," Seifer snarled. "Just because I'm not a fucking sap like Leonhart - "

"This isn't about Squall!" Quistis shouted. "Don't you _dare_ twist my words and make this about him!"

"Quick to stick up for his ass like always, aren't you??"

"Seifer, stop it! Just stop it! When will you ever stop with that fucking attitude of yours?"

"When will you ever leave me the hell alone??"

They were now yelling at each other, pointing at one another and trying to get the last hurtful word in, arguing about everything and nothing.

"Why can't you just be a decent human being for _five_ minutes - "

"It's no fucking _wonder_ you don't have a friend in the world - "

"You probably _liked_ being on the sorceress's side - "

"Yeah, and I'll bet you got a fucking _kick_ out of damn near killing me - "

"Being an arrogant prick certainly got _you_ far, didn't it - "

"Just how far did _you_ get being a cold-hearted, stuck-up bitch?"

"I can't believe how many _chances_ I gave you; apparently I fucking _believed_ in you for _nothing_ - "

"Holy shit, it all comes out, no wonder you got fucking fired for being a _failed_ instructor - "

They were in each other's faces, shouting back and forth, when Quistis's loud insults started to trail off and she blinked. The color had drained from her face.

Seifer chuckled bitterly. "What'd I say to you this time? Did I hit a nerve, Trepe?"

She took a step back and blinked again. Her expression turned from angry to a bit dazed, and she was focusing on something else other than Seifer's face.

"What's the matter, Instructor? No snappy comeback? No threats against my SeeD rank?"

Quistis closed her eyes and put a hand to her head.

Seifer's brow furrowed. "Trepe?"

Suddenly, a trail of blood slowly ran down from her nostril. She swayed and put out the other hand to steady herself, but she didn't have anything to hold onto.

Seifer stepped forward. "Quistis!"

Her body collapsed and he rushed forward to catch her, skidding to his knees before she hit the ground and clasping her behind her back and cradling the back of her head, keeping her limp body relatively stable.

"Shit! Quistis? Hey! Quistis!"

_Hyne. I've finally done it. I've pushed her too much. But I didn't know. I didn't know she was still having these symptoms. Why didn't she say anything?_

Seifer rocked her and used his thumb to wipe the trail of blood from her nose.

"Quistis? Can you hear me?"

_Quistis._

"Don't do this to me, Quis. Remember what I said. Can you hear me? Come back to this place. Quistis!"

_Quistis!_

_Quistis._

_Quistis…_

_Wake up, instructor._

_Remember what I said…_

_The room was spinning…total darkness enveloped her…the atmosphere was tearing…a record skipping…loud harsh noises, like howling wind tearing through the trees…_

_Abrupt silence._

Quistis's eyes slowly opened and she groaned in pain. She'd never had a headache so bad in her entire life. The pain erupted behind her eyes and spread to her temples. She lifted a hand and put it to her forehead.

_Ohhh. Where am I?_

She blinked an eye open gingerly and looked around.

_Ow._

She closed it again and moaned.

_I'm in my bedroom. But how did I get here?_

There was movement in the bathroom and the sound of rushing water trickled into the room. A faucet running. The squeak of a knob being turned. Water dripping. Footsteps.

"Who's there?"

Seifer sat down on a stool next to her bed and gently took her hand, moving it out of the way to put the cold, damp cloth on her forehead.

"It's me."

Quistis moaned again in response to the wet rag. "Seifer?"

He didn't reply, placing her hand on the rag.

Quistis let out a sigh, relieved to have someone next to her and relieved to feel something cold against the searing pain. "Mmm…what…what happened?" She squeezed his fingers, hesitant to let go. Having someone next to her when she felt so vulnerable was reassuring. It was also rare. It felt good to be taken care of…

"Well, we were having one hell of a fight when you passed out cold," Seifer replied. "I guess I won."

Quistis tried to glare at him, but it didn't do much good. She closed her eyes again. "When?"

"About ten minutes ago."

She attempted to open up her eyes again and keep them open. The splitting headache was already starting to subside, thanks to the cold rag. She glanced over at him.

"Why did I pass out…?"

Seifer shrugged and grinned. "Must've been my charm."

Quistis smiled weakly. "Oh. Obviously."

Seifer watched her and sighed, softly pulling his hand away. His tone became unusually soft and serious. "I was looking around for aspirin in your bathroom, and I found this." He held up the bottle of prescription medication Dr. Kadowaki had given her a few weeks prior. "This is dated two weeks ago. You should've finished off the prescription by now…and there are still pills in it."

Quistis felt a knot form in her stomach and she swallowed, feeling rather embarrassed. She'd stopped taking the medication since she thought she was getting better…and she hated taking pills.

Seifer ran a hand through his hair. "Hyne, Quistis, why didn't you tell me you were still having symptoms?"

Quistis looked up at him upon hearing the rare use of her name, and her eyes met his. He looked concerned and slightly angry. She closed her eyes and sighed. "I didn't think it was that big of a deal."

He rolled his eyes. "Do as I say and not as I do, eh, Trepe?"

She opened one eye and glanced at him. "What do you mean?"

"You try to help everyone else with this mental eval bullshit but you keep your own problems to yourself. Pretty damn hypocritical if you ask me."

She closed her eye again and remained silent. He was right. She let out another sigh.

"What about you?" she asked quietly. "Do you have…the side effects?"

Seifer examined her. She held the rag to her forehead, eyes closed. Her hair was spread out on her pillow in a blonde cascade. Her button-up shirt rode up her midriff slightly since her arm was raised and exposed the dip of her belly. He suddenly wondered if she was black-panties Quistis or if she was granny-panties Quistis.

He rubbed his chin, cleared his throat, and looked down at the floor. "No. I only had them the first day I came to, but then they stopped."

There was a long pause. Quistis swallowed. _I thought I was doing fine, but…_

"It's getting worse," she whispered.

"Huh?"

"It's getting worse," she repeated. "I've never passed out before, and it's never been during the day." She glanced at him from under the rag. "Did I have a nosebleed?"

Seifer grit his teeth and nodded.

Quistis closed her eyes and shook her head. "Why is this happening to me…?"

Seifer crossed his arms. "Is there anything that you can't remember? Something in the past that feels like it's…missing? Amnesia?"

"Seifer, if I knew what it was, then I wouldn't have amnesia."

"Whatever. I'm not the fucking expert, you are. You know what I mean. Anything weird…?"

Quistis chewed the inside of her cheek. "Well…"

_Come back to this place. Remember what I said._

"I keep having this dream…but…" she trailed off and sighed. "It doesn't mean anything. It wouldn't make any sense if I told it to you. It's like bizarre déjà vu. It feels like it's happened before but I can't remember what it was supposed to be."

Seifer sighed. _You'd be surprised, _he thought.

"Dr. Kadowaki says that it might be memories trying to return to my consciousness…memories I've lost during time compression and that might come back gradually…like puzzle pieces…"

He set his jaw and remained silent, thinking about the Lunatic Pandora. He decided not to say anything, although he knew she'd gone through severe amnesia and had forgotten the whole thing. Telling her now would probably only confuse the hell out of her and end up doing more harm than good.

He sat back and glanced at her, letting out a bitter chuckle.

Quistis turned her head to look at him. "What?"

"You're on the couch this time, Trepe. I feel like I'm the therapist now."

She smiled. "Maybe Dr. Kadowaki needs another helper. You can start doing mental evals."

"Fuck that."

"Why not?" she teased. "You can do Zell's."

"Shit. He'd be crying the whole time. He'd probably reminisce about the time we lit off fireworks at the orphanage, and I - "

"Set off a string of firecrackers in his shorts," Quistis continued the sentence, her smile growing wider. "I remember that. I don't think I've ever heard a boy scream so high-pitched before."

Seifer grinned. "His ass was popping off all the way to the water - "

Quistis was chuckling now. "And Selphie dumped a bucket of seawater on him even though he wasn't on fire."

"He stopped, dropped, and rolled right in the tide," Seifer crossed his arms and snorted. "Dumbass."

"Seifer, that was a mean prank."

"Those firecrackers were harmless, and you know it. He probably only got a few butt burns. Shit, knowing him, he's probably mentally scarred for life. Hyne. Chicken-wuss is the only kid I know who beat down a sorceress but would still be afraid of fireworks."

Quistis shook her head and smiled. There was a short pause as they thought back on the orphanage, and Seifer glanced at Quistis.

"You know, I'm going to have to sneak up on him now and shove a bottle-rocket down his pants," he grinned.

Quistis started to laugh, imagining a grown-up Seifer pulling the same prank on a grown-up Zell. "He'll probably scream that same scream," she laughed more.

"He'll roll around in the middle of the quad, screaming about being on fire," Seifer added, prompting Quistis to laugh even harder. "Messenger-girl will come up out of nowhere and toss a bucket of water on him…"

Quistis was now heartily laughing, even though it was at Zell's expense. Still, the scenario was downright hilarious. Zell was always good for slapstick comic relief. It was no wonder Seifer picked on him for a good laugh.

Seifer smiled at her, savoring the sound of her laughter. It was rare. Hyne, he hadn't heard her laugh like that since…since…

…_the orphanage? Shit, had it been that long?_

…_Yeah. It has. Fuck._

_Knock, knock, knock, knock._ _"Quisty?"_ Selphie's muffled voice could be heard on the other side of the door down the hall. _"Quisty, are you in there? This is reeeeeeeeeealy important. I have to talk to you. Quisty?"_

Quistis sighed. "Don't answer it."

"Wasn't going to." Seifer reached over and flipped the rag over so the cool side would be on her forehead. His tenderness astonished her and she felt goosebumps rise on her arms. As he adjusted it, she glanced at him.

"Seifer…"

His green eyes darted to hers.

_Knocknocknocknocknocknocknocknocknock! "Quisty? Someone? Anyone? Hellooooooo?! I can see the light on, you know. I can hear you breathing. Are you in there? Hey!"_

With a soft growl, Seifer stood up to get the door, muttering something about crazy pixie drug-addicts.

Quistis tried to sit up, but put a hand to her forehead and slumped back over, groaning.

"Don't get up yet," he ordered her. "You should rest for a bit."

"Seifer, wait…Seifer, don't - " Quistis tried to stop him, but she was too late. She closed her eyes and put a hand to the rag, suddenly feeling sorry for Selphie. She was going to get the scare of a lifetime.

Quistis waited with bated breath for the high-pitched scream, or squeal, or _hiyeeee-yaa!_ in retaliation to Seifer's presence, but grew even more curious to hear that nothing had happened. She heard Seifer's voice murmur something, then all was quiet.

Quistis cocked her head and strained to hear something, but it was dead silent.

…_Did he kill her?_

After a short moment, Seifer entered her bedroom silently and sat back down, sighing.

She glanced at him with one eye. "Well? What happened? Was Selphie at the door?"

"Yeah. I told her you were sick, so she left."

There was a long pause. Quistis continued to stare at him. He stared back at her and crossed his arms. Finally, he narrowed his eyes and curled a lip. "What?"

She blinked. "Uh…that's all? That's all you said to her?"

"I told her to get a fuckin' life," he smirked.

"You did not say that."

"I pointed at something shiny and closed the door when she was looking the other way."

"Seifer - "

"I just told her the truth, Trepe. Fuck. What, you don't believe me?"

"Oh, I believe you," Quistis closed her eyes and smiled. "I just don't believe that Selphie walked away and said, 'ok!' like it was no big deal."

"Well, she did."

Quistis opened her eyes and examined him. "Just like that?"

"Uh…yeah. Just like that. What's the problem here?"

"It's…" Quistis sighed and shook her head. She decided not to think about it too much, although no doubt Selphie was busy telling everyone in the galaxy about her encounter with Seifer Almasy in Quistis Trepe's room. The secret was out. They'd all know by morning. "Nothing. Never mind."

There was a long silence as Seifer took the rag from her, went to the bathroom, dampened it with cold water again, wrung it, placed it on her head, and went to her mini fridge in the other room to grab a bottle of water. The whole time, Quistis was both flattered and flabbergasted at his behavior but said nothing.

After he gave her some water, he sat back down in the chair next to her bed and sighed.

"Seifer…?"

He glanced at her.

She licked her lips and swallowed, feeling embarrassed. She was glad to have the cold rag on her forehead, because for some reason, she felt like she was slightly hiding herself from view.

"…Why were we fighting?"

He sighed and looked down at the floor. In retrospect, he knew exactly why he had picked a fight with her. He was upset about how nonchalant she had seemed about the whole situation…and he was afraid to show his true feelings. So the best way to handle that mess was to be a prick.

Usually it worked, but lately it was starting to backfire.

He kneaded his knuckles. "I don't know."

"I…I know you're mad at me…and I said some stupid things to you…and I didn't mean…"

"It's fine," he shrugged and looked away.

"No, Seifer. It's not. I...I was fired for being a failed instructor - "

Seifer shook his head. "Quistis - "

"- and perhaps I'm not the best person for this mental evaluation duty," she continued, "but I really am trying to help - "

"Just shut up, Quis," Seifer rolled his eyes. "It's okay. I know."

Quistis remained silent, surprised at the nickname he called her. It was the first time she'd ever heard him say it like that.

"Just…get your rest, okay? Don't dwell on it. That fight we had…it was just stupid, all right? Just forget it." Seifer sighed and grabbed a small bottle of aspirin on her nightstand, dumped out two small pills, and handed them to her. "Take these."

She obeyed, and as she swallowed the pills, he held the back of her head gently so she could sit up without feeling dizzy. There was a long pause before he spoke again.

"I'm sorry I got you all worked up like that," he murmured in a low voice. "I didn't know."

She closed her eyes and shook her head, suppressing the urge to grip his hand with hers. "It's not your fault. Don't apologize."

In that moment, she didn't want him to leave. She felt incredibly safe and secure…and she was afraid of being alone since she'd just had another massive nosebleed.

_What if the next one is worse? What if the nightmares come back?_

She turned her head and faced him with both eyes open. "Seifer?"

He looked at her.

"Will you stay here? Please? Don't leave."

He blinked at her in surprise. Before he could answer, she added, "I don't care if you make fun of me for being childish or wimpy. I don't want to be alone tonight. Please stay."

He recovered quickly and shrugged. "I wasn't going to make fun of you," he gave her an impish grin. "But if you're scared of the dark, why don't you just say so? I won't tell anyone."

Quistis rolled her eyes and grinned. "Shut up."

For years at the orphanage, she was always afraid of the dark. Seifer never helped things. He said that sea monsters crept up the shore at nighttime to feed on little girls. Even though she seriously doubted there was such a thing as nocturnal sea monsters that fed on human flesh, she still begged Sis or Matron to keep her company until she fell asleep. Her wild imagination combined with the roar of the sea and the pitch-black night was never a great help at bedtime.

Seifer cocked his head and examined Quistis. She closed her eyes but she was still smiling. His gaze traveled down her body again and he immediately looked down at the floor and cleared his throat involuntarily.

"Yeah. Sure. I'll be on the couch if you need anything."

_Hyne. What a terrible fucking time for temptation to rear its ugly head. Think pure thoughts, Almasy._

…_Who the fuck am I kidding?_

"Thanks." Quistis gave him an appreciative glance.

He stood up and put the chair back at her desk, put the water bottle on the floor by her bed, and turned to face the sitting room, turning off the light to her bedroom. A dim light filtered in from the lamp in the sitting room, and Seifer paused before walking away.

"Quistis."

She looked up at his silhouette, feeling a flutter rush through her chest. He'd said her name…and the tone of his voice had completely changed when he said it. She blinked, waiting for him to speak.

He sighed and hesitated.

_I…I wanted you to know…that…_

_I…_

_Despite what you might think, I…_

_As a matter of fact, I…_

_Well…_

_Fuck._

"Good night."

Quistis gave him a weak smile. "…Night."

Resisting the urge to slam his head into the doorframe, Seifer walked into the sitting room and slumped over on the couch.

_Smooth move, you dickless wonder. What. A. Loser._

He kicked off his boots and sighed, leaning back and folding his hands behind his head. His gaze darted to the hallway leading to Quistis's room. He couldn't see her bed from here, but it didn't matter. He was fully aware that she was there, lying down, vulnerable and beautiful.

_She asked me to stay._

He glanced down at the couch.

_We meet again._

As comfortable and inviting as it was, he seriously doubted he'd get any sleep tonight. Seifer readjusted a pillow and turned off the nearby lamp. He folded his hands across his chest and stared at a spot on the wall for awhile…

…and looked back towards her room.

Quistis sighed and slowly slid her legs under the sheet, not caring if she wasn't in her pajamas. Her headache was nearly gone, but she still felt fatigued and lethargic, so she decided not to get up and change. She slowly removed the wet rag and placed it on the floor, then turned on her side, curling her knees up. Her gaze darted to the hallway. She couldn't see the couch since it wasn't directly in front of the hallway opening, but she was still fully aware that Seifer Almasy was there, lying down, acting as a guardian at her request.

She almost smiled. _My knight in shining armor._

She squeezed her eyes shut and chided herself, suddenly feeling embarrassed. _Did I just think that? Ugh._

But still…when he wasn't being a complete asshole, he was very pleasant comapny.

And it felt good to be watched over. Protected. Guarded. Like she was an important person, for once. Important enough, at least, to prompt Seifer Almasy to watch over her.

She sighed and her eyelids grew heavy…she watched the hallway for him…just in case…she needed him close…just in case…just...in case...

**_. . ._**

"BRRRAAGUUUGHAHGGHAGHGHA THE FUCK DUDE?!?!? HUGH? WHA?" Zell woke up with a start and started punching the air. Irvine and Squall immediately went to his feet and shoulders, respectively, to restrain him.

"Like performing an exorcism," Irvine grumbled under his breath.

"Zell, relax," Squall ordered sternly. "We're in Irvine's room. Sit still."

"Mmmnnnnggggfff," Zell slumped back and squeezed his eyes shut. "Damn. I feel like I got hit by a fucking freight train."

"That's because you've been punching inanimate objects for the last seven hours," Irvine raised an eyebrow at him. "Don't you remember?"

Zell opened his eyes and blinked. "As a matter of fact…yeah, I do. What the hell? How did I get here?"

Squall rolled his eyes and stood up, ignoring the question. "I used a cure spell on your wrists, but you should check with Dr. Kadowaki if there's any major damage. Damn it, Zell, you could have severely broken something."

Zell inspected his hands, which were poorly bandaged up with gauze and tape. He snickered. "Who did this?"

"I did," Irvine shifted his hat and crossed his arms. "I ain't no doctor, so stop laughin'."

"You _should_ be explaining yourself," Squall said flatly. "Just what the hell were you doing in there?"

Zell slowly sat up and sighed, running a bandaged hand through his hair. Irvine offered him a can of soda, which he attempted to open and failed, after which Squall snatched it away with annoyance, cracked it open, and handed it back to him. Zell took a long swig, swallowed, and shook his head. "Tch. It was Seifer, man."

Irvine and Squall exchanged glances. "Seifer?"

"Yeah."

Squall narrowed his eyes. "What did Seifer do?"

"The worst possible thing he could ever do to me. I never thought that guy could stoop any lower, but…fuck, was I wrong."

"Just tell us what he did, Zell," Squall rolled his eyes.

Zell set the can of soda down and crossed and uncrossed his arms, looking agitated and upset. "He…he was in the library…trying to steal her away…"

Squall curled a lip. _…What?_ _He can't be serious._

"He what?" Irvine scratched his head.

"Lynn! He was coming on to Lynn!" Zell stood up and motioned angrily to nothing in particular.

Irvine looked confused. "…Who?"

"The library girl," Squall explained in a low voice.

"He just sauntered right up to her and started to make conversation as if it was fucking _nothing_!" Zell snapped in a high-pitched voice. "And what's worse is that she was _smiling_ at him! She was smiling at him and I saw her blushing! That son of a bitch!"

Irvine and Squall were at a loss for words. They stared at each other for a moment, then Irvine shrugged at Squall as if to say, _'I got nothing, man.'_ Squall raised his eyebrows and shook his head. He didn't know what to say, either.

"That smug, cocky bastard," Zell grumbled to himself, pacing back and forth. "In the library. Flirting. With _her_." Zell looked up at them and snapped, "That son of a bitch was in the library, _flirting_ with her!"

Squall pinched the bridge of his nose. Irvine stepped up and said, "So naturally, you took your frustrations out on the poor monsters in the training center?"

"What else could I fucking do?! He taunted me! He fucking dangled her in my face and said that he was going to nail her and - "

"Whoa, whoa," Irvine raised his palms and set a can of soda down on the coffee table. "Seifer said what? That he was going to try to bang the library girl?" He seemed to be amused by the whole thing, although he tried to hide it. Zell's overbandaged fists flying through the air weren't helping.

Zell crossed his arms. "Well, no, but…he said that she was a cute piece of ass."

"Well, she _is_ a cute piece of ass," Irvine shrugged.

Zell glared at him darkly. "Tch, screw you, man."

"Oh, c'mon, Zell! Everyone knows that!"

"Zell, just what exactly is the problem here?" Squall asked in a bored tone. "Seifer lives to make our lives a living hell. You know that. Why should you expect anything different?"

"This time it's personal," Zell jammed a fist into his palm.

Squall pinched the bridge of his nose again. _It's always personal._

"Step back a sec, Zell," Irvine tilted the brim of his hat up. "What did Seifer say to her?"

Zell looked down. "I don't know."

"What was he doing in there?"

"I don't know. I only saw him as he was leaving."

"What exactly did he say to you?"

"He told me to grab her quick before _he_ could," Zell curled a lip. He crossed his arms again and glared at the floor. "Tch. Asshole."

Squall and Irvine exchanged glances again. They both stared at each other for a minute and blinked. Irvine was the first to catch on.

"Well…?" a smile crept across Irvine's face as his eyes darted to Zell. "So…did you?"

"Did I what?"

"Grab her?"

Zell opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again in confusion. "Uh…"

Squall glanced at Irvine, then back at Zell.

"Did you go up and talk to her?" Irvine motioned impatiently with his hands. "Did you say anything to her?"

"Of course I didn't!" Zell snapped. "I was too busy trying NOT to kill that fucking overgrown two-faced sorceress-following cocky-assed son of a bitch!"

"Aw, Zell, c'mon. You've gotta learn to read the signs, buddy."

Squall looked at Irvine again. "What are you driving at?"

Irvine rolled his eyes and sighed, pulling off his hat and running his fingers through his hair. "Good grief, fellas. I need to teach y'all some Womanizing 101."

Zell curled a lip. "…What?"

"Zell, just how long have you been crushing after…uh…after what's-her-name…uh…" Irvine scratched his head, looking apologetic.

"Her name's _Lynn_," Zell glared at Irvine. "I'll bet Seifer doesn't even know _that_. And I've known her _longer_ than he has."

Squall rolled his eyes. _Stalking her and knowing her aren't the same thing._

"And it's obvious she's got eyes only for you," Irvine continued. "So what makes you think she'd be interested in Seifer?"

Zell glanced at Irvine, ignoring the question. "What do you mean she's got eyes only for me?"

"Haven't you noticed that whenever you go to the library, she goes out of her way to find your favorite martial arts magazines?"

Zell rubbed the back of his head.

"Or that even though there's a long line of people waiting to check out their books, she lets you cut in front of all of them just so you can ask a stupid question about the card catalog database?"

"Hey! Those aren't stupid questions - "

"Asking someone to look up your own login ID because you forgot is a stupid question," Squall interrupted with a smirk.

Zell crossed his arms. "Tch. Whatever."

"Or that she saves her hotdogs for you?"

Zell's eyes darted up to the ceiling, as if he was thinking. "…yeah…she does…"

"I think Seifer was just trying to help," Irvine shrugged.

"Trying to help?!" Zell exclaimed angrily. "_How?!_ By getting into her pants?!?"

"Zell - "

"He was _flirting_ with her!"

"But - "

"How in the hell does that _help?!_"

"He got your attention, didn't he?" Irvine cut in.

Zell set his jaw. Squall thought he could hear his teeth grinding.

"He was probably just trying to spur your ass into action," Irvine continued. "Hell, I woulda done the same thing if I knew it'd get you to ask her out."

Squall stared at Irvine. "Are you suggesting that Seifer is trying to play matchmaker?"

"No way in hell, man," Zell made a swiping motion with his palm. "That jerk _lives_ to taunt me. He wouldn't willingly help me."

For once, Squall had to agree with Zell. _Did Seifer…actually try to do something nice for Zell…?_ He rubbed his chin. _That can't be possible._

"Well, he was up to _something_. I can't say what…I just don't think he's after the library girl," Irvine shrugged nonchalantly. "Er…Lynn," he corrected himself after seeing the look on Zell's face. "I don't think he's after Lynn. He's sweet on Quistis."

Squall and Zell glanced at Irvine. "How do you know that?" Zell asked.

"Trust me. I know. I've seen the way he looks at her, and it's not because of that mentor-student relationship," Irvine replied. "Besides, they used to be together all the time at the orphanage. Don't you remember?"

"Tch. All I remember is Seifer being a dick to me," Zell grumbled.

"When have you seen Seifer with Quistis?" Squall asked with a quirked brow.

"I see 'em in the hallway sometimes. I ain't blind," Irvine crossed his arms.

_Hrm._ Squall thought about earlier in the day, when he and Rinoa noticed them in the hallway together. They weren't fighting, and she didn't appear to be angry at him. He was touching her neck, and she was touching his arm…they were speaking softly to each other about something…

_They definitely weren't being mean to each other._

"Sounds to me as if Seifer's doing some sort of penance," Irvine continued. "Selphie told me earlier that he apologized to her this morning, while she was decorating the quad."

Irvine now had Squall and Zell's full attention.

"Say what?!" Zell stared at Irvine.

"Seifer apologized to Selphie?" Squall narrowed his eyes.

"That's what she told me," Irvine shrugged. "But she bolted off before I could ask her any questions. Said she needed to find Quistis pronto and that it was strictly girl-talk. Couldn't get two sentences out of her before she was off and at it again. I swear, that girl needs to take some Ritalin. I can't ever keep up."

Squall crossed his arms. "Are you sure about this?"

"Sure I'm sure. Selphie doesn't lie."

"I know she wouldn't lie, but are you sure that she meant Seifer?"

Irvine held out his palms. "There's only one Seifer Almasy in this Garden, and Selphie of all people wouldn't confuse him with someone else."

"This ain't right, man," Zell scratched his head. "Seifer's finally losing it. He's turning nice. Something's wrong."

_Knock, knock, knock._

Irvine strode to the door and pressed the button. "Hey, baby," he smiled at Selphie as she entered the room. "Speak of the devil."

"Hi, Irvy! Hey, guys," Selphie nodded at Zell and Squall as she crossed the room to grab a soda in Irvine's mini fridge. "So, how's it going?"

Squall remained silent, but Zell let out a snort and crossed his arms. "Wonderful."

Selphie beamed. "Good! Because I've got some exciting news."

Zell rolled his eyes, deciding not to remind her that he was trying to be sarcastic, and slumped over on the couch next to Squall. "Yeah? You done with decorations yet?"

"No," Selphie narrowed her eyes at him, "probably because _you_ haven't been helping me!"

Zell held up his bandaged hands and grinned. "Can't. Injured."

Selphie's mouth dropped open. "What were you punching _this_ time?!"

"Did Seifer apologize to you about Trabia?" Squall asked, wanting to get to the point.

Selphie blinked at him, then glanced at Irvine. "You already told them?"

"Yep."

"Aww," she pouted. "I wanted it to be a surprise!"

"So it's true?" Zell asked. "Seifer really did apologize to you?"

"Yeah! Scared the buhjeevies out of me, too!" Selphie replied. "Crazy, huh?"

Squall stared at the floor. _Yeah. Crazy._

"Told you guys," Irvine adjusted his hat and crossed his arms, leaning against the wall and crossing his legs. "Seifer ain't all bad as you make him out to be."

Zell opened his mouth in protest but Selphie interrupted him. "There's more," she grinned. "I just went to Quistis's room to talk to her and _you-know-who_ answered."

Irvine grinned and Zell's eyes grew wide. "Seifer? Seifer was in Quistis's room?"

"Bingo!"

Zell curled a lip. "What the hell was he doing in her room?"

Irvine and Selphie exchanged smiles, while Squall remained silent.

"I asked if I could talk to her, but Seifer said that she was sick," Selphie shrugged, still grinning. "I just winked at him and gave him the thumbs up sign. I didn't want to interrupt anything."

Squall suppressed a grin, thinking of what Seifer's reaction must've been to that.

"Quisty's sick?" Irvine asked, concerned.

"If _Seifer's_ in there with her, then probably," Zell rolled his eyes.

Squall remained silent. _They were probably doing a mental eval…but…why would Seifer answer the door…? Is Quistis really sick?_

"What does it matter?" Selphie interrupted his thoughts. "If she is, then he's taking care of her. If she's not, then they're doing something _else_," she grinned mischievously. "Either way, they both win."

Zell glanced at her. "What are you talking about?"

"They're totally in love with each other," Selphie shrugged nonchalantly, taking a swig of soda.

"I told you, Zell," Irvine said. "It's obvious."

"Quistis doesn't like him," Zell shook his head. "She just feels obligated to deal with his shit. She's the only one that can put up with his ass. It's been that way for years."

Squall silently agreed with the statement…but…

_I saw her earlier…in the hallway, talking to him…and she seemed…shy. Happy. Kind of…intimate. If Quistis can be intimate. Maybe she does like him…?_

"Whatever. She likes him…she just doesn't know it yet. Just leave it to me. I'll give her a talkin-to tomorrow, once she 'feels better,'" Selphie used her fingers to symbolize quotations, "and I'll get Rinoa in on this, too. We'll have a girl get-together and straighten this whole mess out."

"Maybe you should just leave her alone," Squall finally spoke up. "She's got a lot going on right now. Quistis is old enough to make her own decisions about her relationships."

"Oh, puh-lease," Selphie rolled her eyes. "You and Quistis are _exactly_ the same when it comes to this stuff. Completely clueless. We needed to poke you in the rear about Rinoa…and now Quistis needs a poke in the rear about Seifer."

Squall glared at her.

"That leaves Lynn to you, buddy," Irvine winked at Zell. "I _told_ you that Seifer was after Quistis. He ain't interested in anyone else. He was only trying to get you to take some action. Which, I must say, is a damn good idea. Don't you think it's time to rope her in?"

Zell rubbed the back of his head and let out a defeated sigh. "Yeah. Maybe."

Selphie blinked at them in confusion. "Huh? Who's Lynn?"

Zell gave her a dark scowl.

* * *

The _Carrie_ reference was inspired by a conversation I had one day with sissyHIYAH, as well as the naming of the library girl.

Also, "Single Ladies" by Beyoncé made an appearance.


	13. The Traitor

**_"Take away these hands of darkness_**

**_Reaching for my soul_**

**_Now the cold wind blows out my candles_**

**_Feeling only fear, without any hope..."_**

"Candles" by _Within Temptation_

* * *

Seifer woke up with a deep breath, half snorting. He was lying on his back on Quistis's couch, and hadn't gotten a full night's sleep for several reasons.

One of those reasons was in the next room.

Another reason was bad dreams. And another was his own snoring. He kept waking himself up with random sucks of air.

He looked around the sitting room for a clock and found one hanging on the wall – 0614 hours.

_Fuck. Too early._

He groaned and rubbed his eyes, sitting up and glancing around for his boots. Sometime during the night, he'd taken his shirt off since sleeping in pants was uncomfortable enough and he had started to break out in a cold sweat. After pulling on one boot, he glanced around for his shirt, which he finally found wedged between the cushions. He grabbed the shirt, shoved the other boot on, and stood up, rubbing his eyes again.

He glanced towards Quistis's room.

Swallowing, he felt compelled to check on her. Just one last time before leaving.

Quietly shifting over to the hallway that housed the bathroom in between the sitting room and her bedroom, he took a peek around the corner and watched.

She was sleeping on her back, her head turned to the right, with both arms at her sides. Technically, she was facing in his direction, but her eyes were closed.

He cocked his head and took a few steps towards her room and stood at the entrance, leaning against the wall.

She breathed evenly and her face was relaxed. Her golden hair was unkempt and uneven on her pillow, and he took a few more steps closer to examine her face.

There weren't any traces of blood on her pillow, nor was there a trail of blood from her nose. She didn't appear to be having any bad dreams, and the pale color that had masked her face the night before had disappeared into a more rosy sheen.

She was fine.

He looked the bed up and down and stared at her white sheet, which had been pulled up to her waist…her arms at her sides…

_Saline drips leading to small tubes attached to needles were inserted into her veins…patches monitoring her heart rate were attached to the insides of her arms and on her chest…_

He blinked.

The tubes and needles were gone. Her arms and wrists were clean and unbruised.

He swallowed.

"Quistis?"

She turned her head slowly and shifted, uttering a small sigh, then remained motionless.

Seifer gritted his teeth. _What the fuck am I doing? She's fine, you idiot. Get out of here and leave her alone._

He turned around and walked swiftly to the front door, threw the shirt over his head, punched the _open_ button, stepped out and poked his head through the neckline, hit the _close _button, turned, and ran right into a petite brunette half his size.

"Woo! Seifer! Whoa! I, uh…I'm sorry! Excuse me…" Selphie trailed off and couldn't help but stare. An impressed smile widened on her face and she looked him up and down. "Excuse _me_!"

Seifer narrowed his eyes and immediately tugged his shirt all the way down. "Is there a problem?"

"No problem at all," Selphie grinned. "I was just checking up on Quistis. Is she feeling better?"

Before Seifer could answer, she shook her head and held up her hand. "No need to tell me. In fact, I'm sure she's feeling _much_ better."

"She's sleeping," he replied flatly. "Don't bug her."

Selphie shook her head innocently and smiled up at him, unfazed. "Lotsa action last night, huh?"

He glared at her. Before he could come up with an angry response, however, she gave him a cheerful little salute and turned around to walk away. "Welp, see ya!"

He curled a lip at her back and shook his head, turning around to head towards his own room.

_Not all of us are completely sane after time compression, I guess._

**_. . ._**

Quistis opened her eyes slowly and blinked. Her ceiling was lit up by the sunlight filtering in from outside. She blinked again and glanced towards the hallway. From where she was lying, she couldn't tell if the couch was occupied or not. She swallowed.

…_Is he still here?_

She slowly sat up, pulled off the sheet, and stretched. With a soft groan, she shifted her legs over the edge of the bed and slowly stood up, cocking her head towards the hallway. She was about to take a step forward when she froze and looked down.

Her white button-up blouse was untucked and hanging lazily out of her skirt, which had shifted up a little bit overnight. She felt her hair.

_Oh, no._

Turning around, Quistis frantically looked for a hair tie. She swirled around again to make sure that nobody was coming, then did another pirhouette, darted towards her desk, grabbed a small black band, and hastily gathered her hair up into a ponytail. She glanced down the hallway again.

"…Seifer?"

Silence.

She padded slowly towards the sitting room and sighed. Her throw pillows were in disarray – two were on the floor and one was propped up on one side – but Seifer was gone. She glanced at the clock. 0808 hours.

…_Seifer woke up early?_

…_Or did he leave last night?_

Either way, she was surprisingly disappointed by his absence.

**_. . ._**

Two hours later, Quistis was in her armchair reading a book when she glanced at the clock and sighed. She wasn't in the mood for breakfast, but it was too early for lunch. For some reason, she felt a little apprehensive about leaving her room. What would she say if she ran into Seifer?

She grimaced as she thought about Selphie's visit last night. What would she say if she ran into anyone else?

It was a miracle nobody was pounding on her door, demanding an explanation.

She swallowed.

…_What if they're mad at me? What if they're angry I kept it all a secret? What if they're still mad at Seifer and they're mad at me for trying to help him? What if they don't want to talk to me?_

_No. Squall already knows. So does Rinoa. They understand. I'm sure the others will…right?_

She was glad that Seifer had agreed to stay the night…but now that she had plenty of time to think on it, the situation was a little strange. She hoped things wouldn't get weird. He was surprisingly nice last night, but she still had a job to do. The last thing she wanted to do was to thank him and then turn right around and ask him to donate more of his time for more mental evals.

Quistis bit her lip. She wondered if he'd be the same person as last night or go back to the old Seifer if she ran into him again.

_He'll probably be a jerk, as always,_ she thought, shaking her head. _There must have been a full moon last night. He's never nice to me._

_Knock, knock, knock, knock! KNOCK! Knocknocknocknocknocknock!!!!!!_

Quistis stood up and went to the door.

_Uh oh. _

She pressed the _open_ button and braced herself.

"Quisty, I've been looking _everywhere _for you!" Selphie put her hands on her hips, looking put out. "Where have you been?"

Quistis blinked. "In my room, reading. Why? What's the matter?"

"Reading?" Selphie made a face. "What were you doing reading?"

"…Is reading a problem?"

Selphie eyed her suspiciously. "Wait…were you really reading? Or were you…" she made quotation symbols with her fingers, "'…reading?'"

Quistis narrowed her eyes. "…What?"

Selphie leaned in the doorway and tried to look down the hallway. "Is he back?"

"Is who back?"

Selphie glanced up at her. "You sure you don't have company?"

Quistis shook her head. "Um…no. Why?"

Selphie pouted. "Nobody at all?"

Quistis raised a confused eyebrow. "Nobody. Is there supposed to be someone in here?"

"That was short work," Selphie grumbled.

"What?"

"Nothing." Selphie reached forward and grabbed Quistis's arm. "Come on. We're going to my room. It's an emergency. Right now. C'mon! C'mon. Right now."

She tugged at her, but Quistis pulled back. "Wait! Wait, Selphie…I've got to put on my boots - "

"No time for boots. Not necessary. Boots are overrated. Let's go."

"Selphie - "

"Don't _argue _with me, Quisty!" Selphie put her hands on her hips and started to look agitated.

Quistis sighed, knowing that when Selphie got agitated, which was rare, all hell would break loose. "All right, all right. I'm just going to put my book down. See? Putting it down. Okay. Let's go. What's the emergency? What did you need to talk to me about?"

"You'll see."

Quistis trailed after Selphie silently for a brief moment until Selphie grinned at her over her shoulder.

"So, when were you going to tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"That's pretty shady, you know. Keeping it a secret from your _best friends_."

"What are you talking about?"

"Just how long have you been doing this gig with Seifer?"

Quistis stopped walking and stared at Selphie. "What?"

Selphie rolled her eyes and sighed in an exaggerated fashion, turning around to face her. "You've been doing his mental evaluation. Go on, admit it."

"I…" Quistis blinked at her in surprise. She had thought that Selphie would chide her about having Seifer in her room…but she didn't know that she would figure out about the mental evaluations so quickly. "Uh…yeah. I have. But how did you find out?"

Selphie narrowed her eyes, put her hands on her hips, and gave Quistis a strange smirk. "Are you sure you haven't been doing anything _else_?"

"…What?"

Selphie sighed again and turned around, heading to her room. "Come on," she motioned impatiently. "We're going to have a discussion about this."

Quistis pinched the bridge of her nose and followed after her. "Selphie…wait…I kept it a secret because I thought it would upset all of you. I didn't do it to intentionally cover things up."

"Yeah, I know."

Quistis stopped. "You do?"

Selphie turned around and shrugged. "Yeah! I mean, it would have been nice to know, but…I've been so busy with the decorations, and Irvy's been busy helping me…Rinoa and Squall have been busy doing their own thing…I can understand that you just didn't have time to hang out with us. You've been busy too."

Quistis eyed her. "But aren't you angry about it? I…I can understand why you don't like Seifer…"

Selphie shook her head and held her hands up. "Water under the bridge. Come on, let's go."

She swirled around headed to her room, leaving Quistis standing there in confusion. "But…Selphie…wait! Selphie, if you already know what's going on, then what exactly do we need to discuss?"

"Just wait and see!"

"You never did answer my question. How exactly did you find out that I was doing Seifer's mental evaluation? Did Rinoa tell you?"

Selphie swirled around abruptly, eyes narrowed and mouth open. "Rinoa _knows_?!"

Quistis mentally kicked herself. "Er…I guess she didn't tell you."

Selphie closed her mouth into an angry pout.

"She found out by accident," Quistis winced, afraid of a screeching Selphie outburst.

Selphie threw up her hands, swirled around, and marched to her room.

"It's supposed to be _confidential_, Selphie," Quistis called after her, trotting to keep up. Once Selphie reached her room and opened the door, she strode in and stood in front of Rinoa, who was sitting on a small sofa reading a magazine. She put her arms akimbo and glared down at her.

"You turd! You already knew and you didn't tell me?"

Rinoa looked back up at Selphie and shrugged, grinning slightly. "I'm sorry, Selphie. Squall told me not to tell anyone."

Selphie's mouth dropped and she looked ravenous. "_Squall_ knew?!?"

"He found out on his own," Quistis came into the room quickly and shut the door behind her before an uproar could ensue. "I didn't even say anything to him and he still figured it out. I swear he's developing telepathy."

Selphie put a hand to her chin and seemed to think about it. "Huh. Yeah. Probably."

Quistis held up her hands. "Look, you guys, I'm sorry I've been keeping this under wraps, but the last thing I needed was people asking me questions about Seifer, or all of you thinking I was turning my back on you. Cid assigned him to me a month ago…and I just wanted to keep it confidential. They're supposed to be private, anyway."

Selphie crossed her arms and a mischievous smirk crossed her face. "Well, you were certainly doing something private last night, but I don't think it was a mental evaluation."

Quistis blinked. "I beg your pardon?"

"C'mon, Quisty. That's not confidential too, is it?"

She shook her head and closed her eyes, forcing herself to remain calm. "What?? Selphie…what's all this about? Did you want to talk to me about the mental evaluations? How did you find out?"

Selphie waved her hand and sat down. "We'll get to that. But first, I have something _totally_ important to say. It's going to blow your mind."

Quistis and Rinoa exchanged glances. This wasn't the first time Selphie had an epiphany about…nothing.

"Do you know anything about this?" Quistis asked Rinoa.

Rinoa nodded. "Selphie told me last night. We tried to find you, but - "

"But you were busy with other matters!" Selphie chirped. "But just try to guess what happened yesterday!"

"This isn't about what Irvine attempted to try on you last night, is it?" Quistis curled a lip.

"No. Not even close. This is sooooo much better."

"Then what?"

"Okay. Get this. I was out by the stage, right? And I was just minding my own business, listening to my playlist, directing people about the light fixtures and streamers and whatnot, and _you'll never guess_ who came up to me."

"Who?"

"Just guess!"

Quistis pinched the bridge of her nose. She hated Selphie's guessing games.

"Um…Xu?"

"Nope."

"Squall didn't offer to help, did he?" Quistis said matter-of-factly.

Selphie snorted. "No, but he'd better do it soon."

"Matron?"

"Nope!"

"Cid?"

"Nope!"

"Selphie, just tell us," Quistis sighed.

Selphie was grinning from ear to ear. "Seifer."

Quistis stared at her in surprise. "What?"

"Seifer came up to me."

Rinoa grinned at Quistis as she blinked and shook her head in disbelief. "Seifer approached you?"

"Yup!"

"Like…in broad daylight?"

"Yup!"

"…Willingly?"

"Yep!"

"Did he actually talk to you?"

"Yeah! Why else would I be freaking out?"

"Wait a minute," Quistis held up her hands. "Seifer Almasy took the initiative to come up and speak to you?"

Selphie nodded. "That's a-hundred-percent affirmative, sarge."

Quistis narrowed her eyes. "Are you sure we're talking about the same Seifer?"

"Seifer Almasy, big asshole, hot body, bad temper?" Selphie smirked at Quistis.

Rinoa chuckled. "Sounds like him."

"_Almost _sounds like him," Quistis corrected her. "What did he say to you, Selphie?"

Selphie looked like she was about to burst. She leaned forward and half-squealed, half-whispered, "He _apologized_ to me!"

"No way."

"Yes way."

"Now I _know _that's not Seifer," Quistis narrowed her eyes again. "Selphie, are you sure you didn't get into Irvine's secret Shumi tobacco stash?"

"I swear on my honor as a SeeD and to Garden," Selphie held her hand over her heart. "I was totally lucid and in control of myself. Well…I was _totally_ in the groove and didn't see him come up to me until he was _right there_…and I did have a couple of energy drinks this morning…but other than that, I swear that's what he did."

"Tell her what he said," Rinoa leaned forward, smiling.

Quistis glanced at Rinoa, then at Selphie. "What did he say?"

"He said he was sorry about Trabia," Selphie beamed. "Can you believe it? He actually came up to me and apologized! I wasn't really expecting him to, you know? I mean, we don't really talk…ever…and after I found out that he was undercover…I guess I sorta already forgave him…but…I mean, wow. It just meant so much to me."

Quistis smiled and shook her head in astonishment. "Seifer really apologized to you, huh?"

"Yep!"

Her smile grew wider as she exchanged glances with Rinoa, who looked just as happy. It was gratifying to see Selphie so overjoyed at something so small that Seifer had done for her. He probably didn't even realize it himself, but a heavy weight had been lifted from Selphie after that. A weight that had been pressing down upon her after her comrades had all died in Trabia.

"I'm glad," Rinoa smiled. "That's a gigantic step for him." She glanced at Quistis and cocked her head. "I wonder what drove him to do that," she grinned cryptically.

Selphie smiled at Quistis as well. "Yeah. I wonder."

Quistis snorted. "A full moon."

"…Huh?"

Quistis shook her head. "It wasn't anything _I _did. That was entirely Seifer's decision."

"It _had _to have been something you did, Quisty," Selphie replied. "That's how I finally found out you were doing his mental evaluation. You disappeared all day every day for the past two weeks! And then, of course, there was the cupcake debacle. I didn't think much of it, at first, but when Seifer showed up in the cafeteria, acting all tough, I knew that those weren't _ordinary_ cupcakes."

Quistis raised an eyebrow. _Selphie's sleuthing at its finest._ "I didn't drug them, if that's what you're implying."

"Oh, no," Selphie shook her head and bit her lip. "I think it was a drug of a different kind. I think it was the drug of looooove."

Rinoa giggled.

Quistis glared at them in annoyance. "Don't be ridiculous."

"And then when I came by to talk to you last night, _guess who _answered the door!" Selphie beamed.

Quistis pinched the bridge of her nose. "Selphie, we were in the middle of an evaluation when I wasn't feeling well and he - "

"Yeah, yeah, we've all heard the story," Selphie waved a hand. "We've all played doctor, Quisty."

"Selphie - "

"Never mind that a bunch of students saw him walk out of your room this morning."

Quistis sighed, but couldn't help feel the slightest hint of elation from this news.

_He spent the night. He didn't just leave after I fell asleep._

… _How in the hell am I ever going to explain this?_

"He spent the night?" Rinoa stared at Quistis, astonished.

Quistis opened her mouth to explain when Selphie cut her off.

"Oh, you bet he did! He was putting on his shirt and pants on the way out – pretty scandalous, if you know what I mean," Selphie winked repeatedly.

"That's a _total _exaggeration!" Quistis snapped. "He was never undressed in the _first_ place! We didn't even do anything to that extent - "

"Does it really matter?" Selphie interrupted. "C'mon. Either way, he was definitely taking care of you, wasn't he?"

Quistis sighed.

"He totally likes you."

Quistis glanced up at Selphie and narrowed her eyes. "That's _also _an exaggeration, Selphie."

"Oh, come on, Quisty. You and Seifer have practically spent every waking moment together - "

"We haven't - "

"- and he's really taking a turn for the better!"

"He's looking better than ever," Rinoa nodded.

"Don't tell me you're in on this," Quistis glanced at Rinoa.

Rinoa held her hands up. "I'm just saying…he's…different."

"Which is why I'm putting in my official approval of him," Selphie pledged. "You're free to pursue him, Quisty."

Quistis snorted. "I'm what?"

"At first I was concerned but now I'm soooo totally happy for you two."

Quistis blinked and shook her head. "I beg your pardon, Selphie?"

"You and Seifer. As a couple. You should date him."

"Oh, no, I _know _this isn't going to turn into some sort of matchmaking ploy," Quistis groaned. "_Tell _me you didn't drag me in here to try to hook me up with Seifer. I do _not_ have time for this."

Selphie looked hurt. "Well, why not? After what he did? Why _wouldn't_ you chase after him?"

"He's single," Rinoa grinned.

"He's got a mean streak but now we know it can be tamed," Selphie started to tick off qualities with her fingers.

"He's hot," Rinoa added.

"He's definitely a good person," Selphie held up her hand. "No question. He went undercover for all of us and he apologized about Trabia. Sounds like he's on the right track."

Quistis curled her lip. "All right. We're done here. If this is where the conversation is headed, then I'm leaving."

"No!" Selphie yelped. "Don't leave! C'mon, Quisty, this is important!"

"Talking about my love life is not - "

"_Nonexistent _love life," Selphie corrected her.

Quistis blinked. _Ow. That stung._

Rinoa noticed her expression and shot Selphie a warning glance.

"I mean…no offense, Quisty," Selphie immediately recovered. "Not that there's anything wrong with that. You just haven't met the right one. We know. That's why we're trying to help."

Quistis sighed. "I know, Selphie. I know you guys mean well. I just…I don't need any help. When the right guy comes along, I'll know it."

Selphie resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"That's just it, Quistis," Rinoa cut in softly. "Will you _really_ know?"

Quistis narrowed her eyes at them suspiciously. Just what were they getting at?

"Look," Rinoa sighed. "Perfect example. Squall told me that he didn't exactly make the decision to break me out of that strange sorceress prison on his own. He had help. He said that at the time, he was just too hardheaded and too dense to take the initiative. He said that you yelled at him pretty good to get his butt moving."

Quistis nodded slowly. _Yeah. I did. _She glanced up at Rinoa. "He actually admitted that to you?"

"A few weeks ago," Rinoa nodded. "It took him awhile to tell me the truth. He was embarrassed."

"Were you mad?" Selphie asked.

Rinoa smiled. "No, of course not. I wasn't really surprised, actually. It seemed like something he'd do. He always was slow at displaying his emotions. It's okay…I'm getting used to his quirks."

_Quirks? An understatement, _Quistis mused.

"Anyway," Rinoa continued, "my point is that even though Squall and I had feelings for each other…and it was pretty obvious…he still couldn't admit it to _himself _without a little help." She glanced at Quistis. "Maybe we all need a little push every now and then?"

Selphie nodded. "Yeah, Quisty…"

Quistis swallowed. _Is that true? That_ _I can tell others what to do…but when it comes right down to it, I can't make those kinds of decisions for myself?_

_They were all aboard the Ragnarok, arguing about their destination. Lunatic Pandora was floating above Tear's Point, surrounded by hundreds of monsters that had been called down from the Lunar Cry. The citizens of Esthar were in a panic, and the SeeDs had to act. Seifer was now out of total control and Adel's seal had been broken. They were on the brink of an all-out holocaust. To make matters worse, Rinoa had surrendered to Esthar officials without a fight. Not only was she their friend, but she was a tremendous asset to the team. As much as Quistis hated to admit it, Rinoa was Squall's inspiration. Now that she was gone, it seemed as if Squall had lost his purpose as a SeeD. His eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep and he still seemed a little shaken from the episode in outer space. Quistis knew that despite this, Rinoa had always managed to inject some fight into him. He kept going because of her. After everything he'd gone through to help Rinoa, however, he still sat back and watched as she was taken away._

_None of it made sense to Quistis. What in the hell would it take to wake him up??_

"_Rinoa is a sorceress now," Squall explained quietly, averting everyone's gaze. "She received Matron's powers. An escort from Esthar came to pick Rinoa up. She's in Esthar now."_

"_We have to go get her!" Selphie cried._

"_Was she taken by force?" Quistis narrowed her eyes._

"_No. It was Rinoa's decision," Squall replied. "She was scared about being a sorceress…scared of being feared…hated…scared that no one would want to be around her…she said she couldn't handle that."_

_Quistis couldn't believe what she was hearing. If Rinoa was that scared, she shouldn't have been left alone with Esthar soldiers to be locked away for all eternity. Why didn't Squall do anything? Why didn't he say anything? Was he absolutely retarded?_

"_Didn't you try to stop her, Squall?"_

"_It was Rinoa's decision," Squall repeated monotonously. "What right do I have to object?"_

_That's it. She'd had enough of his emotional constipation. Quistis clenched her fists and stomped her foot impatiently. "Ooooh, will you stop that?! What are you talking about?! Why did you go all the way out into space to save Rinoa? Huh, Squall??" She motioned angrily in the direction of Esthar and raised her voice. "To hand her over to Esthar?! So that you might never see her again? No, right?? Wasn't it because you wanted to be with her??"_

_Squall set his jaw and looked away._

_Quistis snorted and shook her head. "You're a fool."_

_Zell crossed his arms and glared at Squall. "Yeah. Seriously."_

_Squall glanced at Zell, then to Quistis. They locked eyes for a long moment until he sighed and nodded slowly._

"…_Maybe."_

_We all convinced Squall to go after Rinoa that day. Hyne knows what would have happened if we would have let him decide for himself. Maybe he would've come around. How long would it have taken him?_

Quistis bit the inside of her cheek and sighed.

_How long will it take me?_

"So, you're saying I need a push in the right direction," Quistis sighed.

"Yeah!" Selphie grinned.

"And…you would push me towards whom?" Quistis grimaced. "Seifer?"

"You and Seifer _would _make a pretty good couple," Selphie shrugged nonchalantly.

Quistis groaned. "Selphie - "

"He's definitely your type, Quisty."

Rinoa put a hand to her mouth and stifled a giggle, turning it into a soft cough.

Quistis rolled her eyes. "My type? Please, Selphie. This is coming from someone who has placed her complete and utter trust into a self-proclaimed sex addict and ladies' man."

Rinoa's eyes darted to Selphie.

"Irvine's a good guy, Quisty. That's just how he is. It doesn't mean he'll cheat on me," Selphie replied airily.

"How do you know?"

Selphie pursed her lips and blinked. "Mmm….ummmm…? Hmm…okay, seriously. We're getting off topic. Besides, nobody's perfect. I don't know if you've looked at our relationships lately, but Rinoa and Squall are polar opposites - " she paused, turned to Rinoa and said, "- no offense - " then she turned back towards Quistis, "- and Irvine and I aren't exactly two peas in a pod, but it works, Quisty. What else do you need?"

Quistis sighed inwardly. _Yeah, but me and Seifer…it's just…not…realistic…_

"Zell is head-over-heels in love with that cute librarian," Selphie continued. "You can tell she likes him back. Can you see those two together? Talk about a tornado trying to date a tree. One is grounded and wise and quiet and the other is all over the place causing ruckus. In the cafeteria. About hotdogs."

"A tornado and a tree?" Rinoa raised an amused eyebrow.

"Whatever. You get my point."

"You guys are sort of missing the big picture here," Quistis sighed. "I know you're trying to help, but…this is Seifer we're talking about. And me. For one, we hang out together because I've been assigned to help him with his evaluation. For two, it's not even _like_ that."

"Do you have a crush on him, Quisty?" Selphie gave her a tiny grin.

"I…what? No! Why?"

Rinoa and Selphie looked at each other. "Denial."

"It's not denial," Quistis narrowed her eyes in frustration. "It's the truth."

"For someone who's so smart and so good at this whole psychoevaulation thing, you sure are thick," Selphie leaned forward, pulled Quistis's glasses out of her pocket, and put them on. Quistis took in a deep breath and rolled her eyes as Selphie looked around and blinked. "These hardly make a difference! Why do you even have them?"

"They're reading glasses, Selphie. It's not an uncommon thing."

"I've seen you wear these when you're not reading, though."

Quistis ignored her. "Look, guys, can you just for one second try to imagine what it would be like in my shoes? Seifer isn't exactly the easiest person to get along with."

"Yeah, but you know him better than we do," Selphie shrugged.

"We've seen you with him, Quistis," Rinoa shrugged. "You look happy when you're with him."

Quistis snorted. "I doubt that."

"It's true!"

"It's like how Squall looks when he's with Rinoa," Selphie pointed out. "You can never tell what that guy is thinking, but his expression says it all when she's around."

Rinoa blinked at Selphie. "Really?"

"Duh."

She turned pink and smiled.

"And Seifer looks happy too," Selphie added. "I mean…well…I guess as happy as he can look. He doesn't look potentially dangerous, at least."

"No, it's true," Rinoa nodded. "He looks like he's doing really good, and usually it's only when you're around, Quistis."

Quistis shrugged and remained modest. "I think I would have noticed. We can't even go an entire day without quarreling. He never even calls me by my first name. I'm pretty sure he hates me."

Rinoa smiled. "He doesn't hate you."

Quistis snorted. "Oh yeah? I think he does."

Rinoa shook her head. "No, Quistis. Trust me. He doesn't hate you."

Quistis glanced at her and raised a quizzical eyebrow.

"Love is blind, Quisty," Selphie smiled.

Quistis curled a lip. "Selphie, if you keep talking like that, I really do think I will throw up."

"Aww, Quisty - "

"I don't _love _him," Quistis snapped defensively. "This is getting out of hand. I don't even _like_ him."

"There she goes again," Selphie sighed, rolling her eyes. "Quisty, of course you _like_ him. We're not stupid. Why would you spend so much time with him? It's obviously not because Cid says so. And don't you remember the orphanage? You two used to play together all the time."

"We _fought _all the time, Selphie."

"When little boys harass little girls, it's for _attention_, miss therapist. Sheesh. Even _I_ know that."

Quistis set her jaw. "Okay, fine. Let's play devil's advocate for one second and pretend that I _do_ have feelings for him - "

"_Pretend_, she says," Selphie elbowed Rinoa and grinned.

"It wouldn't matter," Quistis continued, annoyed. "He doesn't like me. He says so every day."

"He tells you he doesn't like you?" Rinoa asked.

"Well, no, but it's in his mannerisms. It's obvious. Every time we're together, he blatantly acts like I'm a gigantic waste of his time."

Rinoa looked skeptical. "I think it's because of the mental evaluations, Quistis. Those are a big waste of his time. Not you."

Quistis rolled her eyes. "Look, why does it matter? Seifer Almasy is probably the worst person I could be with. It's like he goes out of his way to upset me. He gets under my skin on _purpose_ and he _enjoys_ it." She crossed her arms and looked away. "He's arrogant - "

_He's smart.  
__  
_"He's crude - "

_He's honest._

"He has no manners whatsoever - "

_But he makes me laugh._

"He constantly brings others down - "

_It's just his way of trying to stay close to us, like at the orphanage._

"He's good-looking and he knows it - "

_He's got a killer body, he's got a killer smile, I love the way that little piece of cowlick pops out of his hair…_

"He's aggressive and gets into fights too easily - "

_But he can be gentle…like the time after his nightmare…or when I passed out and he took care of me…_

"I mean, all of these reasons should be enough!" Quistis threw up her hands in exasperation.

"I think those are good enough reasons he should have a _woman_," Selphie grinned. "What do you think, Rinoa?"

Rinoa nodded. "I think it's because you understand him so well you two would be remarkable together."

Quistis sighed. "This is ridiculous."

"He never acted that way around me," Rinoa shrugged.

Quistis narrowed his eyes. _Great. Wonderful. I feel so much better._ "Well, then, there you have it. He was nice to you and he's an asshole to me. All signs point to the fact that he doesn't like me at all."

Rinoa blinked, alarmed. "No! That's not what I meant! I simply meant that he's _himself _around you. He's comfortable around you. When he was with me…I didn't know it at the time…but he was a different person. So different, in fact, that I know now that he was faking it. He put on a mask. He didn't want me to see the real Seifer."

There was a pause.

"How come?" Selphie asked.

Rinoa looked down and smiled sadly. "Because he didn't like me."

Quistis watched her in surprise.

"I wasn't _worthy _enough to get to know him," Rinoa explained and looked down. "He didn't want me to see the _real_ side of him. I was probably just a conquest to him. He was probably nice to me so he could get laid. It's a mean thing to say about him, but it's true. He didn't care about me, really – all he cared about was seeing some sort of resistance action – and when he looked at me, all he saw was a daughter of a general. He saw _opportunity_. That's all." Rinoa looked up at Quistis. "I think I realized that when I saw Seifer look at you. I _never_ saw him look at anyone that way…not even me."

Quistis looked taken aback.

"So trust me, Quistis, he doesn't hate you," Rinoa smiled. "He's at home when he's with you. He's himself. And where else, if he's not here with you, could he be himself?"

Quistis swallowed and looked down.

_Knock, knock._

Selphie sprung up to answer the door, greeting a smiling Irvine on the other side.

"Hey, Irvy!"

"Heya, cutie. Whatcha up to? Wanna go grab some lunch?"

"I'd love to, but right now I'm busy with super-duper important stuff…"

He let out a deep sigh. "You cut me deep, sugar. I was really hoping we could have a little afternoon soiree, if you know what I mean." He glanced over Selphie's shoulder and grinned at the two girls. "You two are invited, of course."

Quistis rolled her eyes and Rinoa giggled.

"Maybe some other time, Irvy. This is really important."

"More important than the man of your dreams?"

"Not _that _important," Quistis called out.

"_Equally _important, of course," Selphie narrowed her eyes at Quistis. "You understand, don't you Irvy?"

"But you're the apple of my eye."

"Irvy…"

"The cream in my coffee."

"Yeah, but - "

"The bullet to my shaft."

Selphie giggled. "What?"

"The spurs to my loins!" Irvine swept his hat off and pointed it upwards, attempting to be blatantly poetically sexual.

"Irvy…"

"If I told you that you had a hot body, would you hold it against me?" He shrugged as a last resort.

"Later! Go on, get outta here! We're girl-storming! Come back later!"

Rinoa was now laughing, trying to hold it back with a hand over her mouth, while Quistis had to refrain from gagging. Selphie pranced back into the sitting room and plopped onto the floor.

"Sorry about that! Now, let's get down to the nitty-gritty," she sat forward, suddenly serious. "My conversation with Irvine reminded me about a very important subject. Do you have any sexy panties?"

Quistis recoiled. "Ugh! Mental picture, Selphie."

"Do you have some?"

"Do I have what?"

"You know. Sexy panties. Lingerie. Something to…stimulate his senses."

Rinoa stifled a giggle by turning it into a concerned frown. "Yeah. Sexy panties."

"Stimulate _whose_ senses?"

"Seifer's!"

Quistis rolled her eyes. "This is insane."

"Answer the question!"

"We're talking about _Seifer _here," Quistis groaned.

"So what?"

"My panty collection is none of your business!"

Selphie gave Rinoa a somber look. "She doesn't have any sexy panties."

"That's too bad."

"Yeah. Really tragic."

Quistis narrowed her eyes. "It really doesn't matter. Nothing's going to _happen_, anyway."

"Quisty, stop fighting it. You know you want him."

"Totally."

Quistis finally gave up and put her forehead into her palm. "Okay, so apparently I need some sexy panties. What's wrong with the ones I have on now?"

Selphie immediately sat forward and tugged on Quistis's waistline. "I dunno, what kind do you have on now?"

"Selphie!"

"Ooo, wait, I see something orange…"

"Selphie, get off!"

"Color is definitely good, Quisty. Better than granny panties."

"I don't wear granny panties," Quistis tried to bat Selphie away.

"Are they low-rise?" Rinoa asked.

"What?"

"Low-rise."

"You know, do they dip below the hip? Show a little low-cut action?" Selphie grinned, still trying to attempt a peek.

"Selphie – look – no, Rinoa, I'm not sure – seriously, this is absolutely absurd - "

"Well, so far, so good, Quisty," Selphie sat back and shrugged, finished with her failed attempt to get a full view of Quistis's underwear. "But if they cover most of the butt, then you've gotta go for a new look."

"I thought underwear was _supposed _to cover the butt," Quistis crossed her arms.

Selphie rolled her eyes and sighed. "We're not talking about _underwear_, Quisty. We're talking about _panties_. Sexy ones."

Quistis closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose again. "All right. Educate me, Selphie."

"They're cute and flattering," Selphie explained with a grin. "They can come in all sorts of colors, or with prints like polka dots or tiger stripes or little flowers or candy canes or baby moombas or - "

"I get the point." Although Quistis knew very well what sexy panties were supposed to be, she still didn't quite distinguish what the hell the difference was from underwear, since it was technically still underwear, but she declined to correct Selphie, who was now on a roll.

"Or you can have lace trim or they can be see through or - "

"Whoa! I'm not doing any see-through," Quistis held up her hands.

"Some panties have this little peek-a-boo slit in the front, or even in the back - "

"That's disgusting," Quistis mumbled.

"- some play music when you push a button - "

"How do you _know_ all this?"

"You probably _don't _want to know," Rinoa whispered with a grin.

"Some have cute little fluffy feathers on the edges and some have matching bras and shoes and - "

"_Shoes?_"

"Usually when you get married," Rinoa explained silently.

"Really?" Selphie stopped her rant and stared at Rinoa. "Those are for when you get married?"

"The white ones are, yeah."

Selphie blinked. After a pause, she shrugged. "Guess I'm all set, then."

Rinoa giggled and Quistis shook her head.

"OR you don't even have to wear panties at all!"

"Not an option," Quistis replied flatly.

"Or…" Selphie got up and trotted to her room. "You can wear a thong!"

Quistis groaned as Selphie started tossing samples out to them. "I know what they look like, Selphie. You don't have to show me your panty collec…oh, my. Do you actually wear this?"

She was holding up a thong between her thumb and index finger.

"Yep!" Selphie beamed. "I'm wearing one right now!"

"Too much information," Rinoa reminded her gently.

"Selphie…they make _headbands _that have more fabric than this," Quistis raised an eyebrow.

"I know. Isn't it sexy?"

Quistis grimaced. "It looks painful."

"It's really not," Rinoa said. "It's just something you have to get used to."

"What's the _point _of this?" Quistis narrowed her eyes. "Why wear it if it's going to get lost up your ass crack?"

Rinoa started to laugh. Selphie put her hands on her hips.

"It's not something you just _wear_," she huffed. "You wear it only if you know someone's going to _see_ it, or at least in the hopes of someone seeing it."

"And…remind me again…who exactly am I going to allow to get a visual of my underwear?" Quistis asked.

"Panties!"

"Whatever."

"Seifer Almasy, sexy soldier SeeD rank twenty-six, that's who!" Selphie chirped. "…Ooh…wow, say that five times fast!"

Quistis slapped her palm into her head again, not quite sure whether or not she felt mortified or physically sick. Her stomach had lurched at the thought…but it had felt like nervous butterflies flitting about instead of sheer disgust. _Seifer actually seeing me in a thong…? _It was too…farfetched.

_He doesn't even like me. The minute he'd see something like that on me, he'd probably point and laugh. And what sort of circumstances would we have to be in, in order for him to actually get that far…? And what would ever possess him to even want to go that far…assuming it wasn't for just a piece of ass…?_

She felt a rush of heat through her body as she imagined herself with Seifer…taking clothes off…

No. Absolutely out of the question. Quistis couldn't even fathom it. If Seifer Almasy even _remotely_ liked her…wouldn't he have done something by now?

…_Or am I just blind, like Selphie says?_

_Wait. Why does this all even matter? Why would I want Seifer to like me? Do I like him? _Quistis swallowed. _What if I do? What if I completely give my heart to someone who wouldn't hesitate to smash it to pieces?_ _I can't think about this right now. They're telling me that he likes me…that he looks at me differently…but he hasn't been opening up to me at all…and he's anything but friendly. It's always 'Trepe' or 'Instructor,' but never 'Quistis.'_

She thought back on last night. He had taken care of her. The old Seifer Almasy would have laughed and left the room. He wouldn't have given her the time of day.

Right…?

Even though he'd stayed the night to make sure she was all right, she had a fitful sleep. She was nervous, for some reason. Seifer Almasy sleeping in the next room while she was in bed was…awkward. But it wasn't a bad awkward. It was a strange, nervous, new awkward. It was a tempting awkward. A longing awkward. Her imagination had started to run wild and she'd tried her best not to think about him lying on the couch less than fifteen feet away from her. Did he sleep, or was he thinking about her as well?

_It doesn't matter. What's the point? What's the point of getting my hopes up? Why would I let something like this bother me? I can't read into this too much, or I'll just appear too needy…expect too much…misinterpret feelings…and end up disappointed. Like always._

_Story of my life._

"Quistis?" Rinoa leaned forward, trying to search for a reaction.

"Um…I'm sorry, guys. I'll think about what you've said, Selphie. Maybe we can go shopping sometime," Quistis finally replied quietly. "I think for now I'll just go take a nap."

Selphie blinked. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine…I think I still might have some residual symptoms. I'm feeling a little tired…maybe I'll just go lie down."

They all stood up.

"Quisty?" Selphie looked concerned.

"I'm okay, Selphie," Quistis held up her hand and started to walk towards the door. "I just had a…um…dizzy spell. I'm going to go relax for awhile."

"Do you want me to walk you?" Rinoa asked.

Quistis shook her head. "It's fine. Tell the boys I said hi, would you?"

"…Okay…but…"

"I'm all right. I just need to rest. I'll see you guys later, okay?"

After she left, Rinoa and Selphie exchanged concerned glances.

"What happened?" Selphie whispered. "…Is she still sick? Did I upset her?" She bit her lip. "I didn't mean to…"

"No, you didn't," Rinoa reassured her. "I'm going to try to catch up to her and see if she's okay. You hang out with Irvine for a bit, all right? I'm meeting up with Squall soon, anyway."

**_. . ._**

Quistis hurriedly walked out of Selphie's dormitory and made her way towards the quad, keeping her head down the entire time. She wasn't in the mood to see or speak to anyone else, and she was starving. All she wanted to do was grab a quick to-go box and get the hell out of view.

_Stupid. Stupid. Why do I give those two the time of day sometimes? Panties. And Seifer. Give me a break. What a waste of time. _

She felt herself flush as she thought about it.

_Does he really like me, or are they just trying to get us together?_

_Either way………I don't see it happening. No way. It's never going to happen._

_Never. Seifer Almasy would never go for someone like me...Quistis Trepe..._

The thought, for some reason, upset her even more.

Once she reached the cafeteria, she shoved some food into a cardboard container, swiped her card key, and hustled out quickly. Luckily, she hadn't seen anyone familiar.

_Selphie and Rinoa wouldn't lie…would they? How can they tell what Seifer's thinking, though? And why haven't I noticed?_

She closed her eyes and shook her head, feeling embarrassed. _Hyne. I did that to Squall all the time about Rinoa. I kept dropping hints about her…so did Selphie…and it was obvious that Rinoa liked him…but he kept shrugging it off…acting annoyed…_

_Just like how I feel now._

…_But is it true? Does Seifer really like me? As in…actually LIKE me?_

She opened her eyes and slammed right into Irvine, who was heading into the cafeteria as she was heading out. Luckily, the food hadn't spilled out.

"Whoa! Quis! Where are you headin' off to in such a tizzy?" Irvine put his hands on her arms to steady her and leaned back, trying to study her expression. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine," Quistis averted her gaze and cleared her throat. "I'm sorry, Irvine. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

Irvine grinned. "Sorry? Honey, you just made my day. One of the prettiest girls in Garden just bumped into me! I'm the luckiest man alive!"

Quistis gave him a meek smile and shook her head. "Selphie's finished with her little girl pow-wow if you want to drop by her room."

Irvine's eyebrow quirked. "Really? That was fast. Everything go okay?"

Quistis shrugged. "Nothing out of the ordinary."

He watched her, blinked, took off his hat, and put his hands on his hips. "Quis. What's eatin' ya?"

She sighed and looked down. "I…just have a lot on my mind."

"Look, I know Selphie can get a little outta hand sometimes when she decides to play the love doctor, but she's just trying to help. She doesn't mean anything by it."

Quistis glanced up at him. "How do you know what we were talking about?"

Irvine shrugged and grinned, looking slightly proud. "I know how to read her. When she gets that twinkle in her eye, I know when she wants dessert…or when she wants to party…or when she wants to practice fighting…or when she gets all mischievous and plays matchmaker."

Quistis grinned at him. "You're good."

"What can I say? I'm an artist."

She chuckled and looked down again. Irvine sighed and put his hat back on.

"Look…Quistis…I know it ain't really my business, but…is it about Seifer?"

Quistis glanced up at him. "Did Selphie tell you?"

"Naw. I've known about that for awhile."

She furrowed her brows. "What? How?"

He gave her a soft smile. "It's obvious. He's loved you since he was five."

She swallowed and felt her chest tighten, but tried to hide the odd flutter by looking away. "You too, huh?"

He blinked. "Whaddya mean?"

"Everyone has been mentioning Seifer to me lately…about how he…how he…" Quistis rolled her eyes and sighed, shrugging it off. "Why now? What's different about him? Because I sure don't see it, and I'm getting a little frustrated with what everyone's saying behind my back!"

Irvine raised his eyebrows. "Honey, nobody's talking about you behind your back!" He grinned at her and winked. "Maybe we've been talking about your _behind_, or your _backside_, or both…"

"Irvine…" she shook her head and tried to smile. "You're just being nice. But as far as Seifer goes, everyone knows that he taunted me the most…aside from Zell, anyway. Love is a strong word, wouldn't you say?"

Irvine pushed the brim of his hat up and sighed, looking up as if he was thinking. "Quistis…remember when I chased Selphie around at the orphanage all the time?"

"Vaguely."

"Remember when I always tried to look up her skirt?"

Quistis smiled. "Yeah."

"You were the only other girl at the orphanage, besides Selphie, that I could pester. Sis was too mature, plus she was always around Squall. I had Selphie to myself, but even though I tried to play with you, Seifer wouldn't let me."

Quistis blinked. "What do you mean?"

"He threatened to beat me up if I tried to look up your skirt."

Quistis stifled a laugh. "What?"

"Actually…" Irvine trailed off and tapped his chin. "He pretty much threatened to beat me up if I even _talked_ to you."

Quistis rolled her eyes. "Irvine, are you sure?"

"Sure I'm sure, babe." Irvine grinned. "Why else do you think I behaved myself around you?"

"Irvine, we've played together plenty of times - "

"But we never got very close, did we?" Irvine reminded her. "Me and Sel…we were two peas in a pod…but Squall always latched onto Sis…Zell kinda ran off and did his own thing…prolly had A.D.D. so he couldn't sit still with anyone…and Seifer had you."

"I don't really remember - "

"You don't remember as clearly as I do because of the GFs," Irvine interrupted her again, "but trust me. I remember all that as if it was yesterday. When you were adopted…" he shook his head, "Seifer, man…he just got worse. That's when he and Zell and Squall really duked it out…then Zell was gone not too long after that…and things sorta just went downhill. It was like we were fallin' apart as a family. The pieces went missin' and we weren't who we used to be…then shortly after, Sel and I were transferred to different Gardens…and Squall and Seifer were the only ones left. But…it wasn't like home anymore."

Quistis remained silent. She was suddenly reminded of Rinoa's words.

'_He's at home when he's with you. He's himself. And where else, if he's not here with you, could he be himself?'_

"This might sound off tangent, Quisty, but why didn't you stay with your adoptive parents?"

Quistis swallowed and glanced up at him, a pained look in her eyes. "I…I was lonely. I missed the orphanage. I missed everyone. I cried all the time and I had nobody to play with. I don't remember if my adoptive parents called Matron first or if Cid contacted them about Garden…but I was only there for maybe six months before transferring to Garden. It had just been built, but Seifer and Squall were already there…and…and I felt better. I was home."

_Then…everything else…was a monotonous blur after that. The SeeD field exam. The GF junctioning. Protocol. Training. Duty. Honor._

"I guess my whole point, Quisty, is…well…just give Seifer a chance. He's kind of a knucklehead sometimes, especially towards you, but…there's a rhyme and a reason to his madness. Believe me. I'm a guy."

Quistis smiled and looked down, although she couldn't mask the speculation in her voice. "If you say so, Irvine."

**_. . ._**

After leaving Selphie's room, Rinoa tried to track Quistis down, but she had already disappeared. She decided to do a quick look around the quad and checked each wing, but there wasn't any sign of Quistis; until she saw her and Irvine talking up ahead at the entrance to the cafeteria. She was about to head towards them when a voice called out behind her.

"Rinoa!"

She glanced around and smiled. "Squall! Hi."

Squall walked up to her and crossed his arms. "Where have you been?"

"I was in Selphie's room."

"…Again?"

She smiled again. "Yeah. She wanted to talk with Quistis."

Squall rolled his eyes and sighed. "Ganging up on Quistis about boys isn't the best way to - "

"We weren't ganging up on her, Squall."

"It was an ambush and you know it. Did Quistis have any idea what you two wanted to meet about?"

Rinoa looked at the floor and toed at the tiles. "No, but…"

"Do you really think she has time for your games?"

Rinoa looked up at him and narrowed her eyes. "We're not playing _games_ with her, Squall. We're trying to help her." She cocked her head at him and put her hands on her hips. "But that's not really what this is about, is it?"

Squall didn't reply.

"What's the matter with you lately? You seem…angry."

"Yeah, well…I just don't think you should justify Seifer's actions quite yet by trying to speed things up with Quistis - "

"What are you talking about?"

Squall crossed his arms and looked away. "That asshole doesn't deserve her."

"Wait a minute, Squall! That's not fair! What are you saying? That I can't try to make them happy?"

Squall sighed and rubbed the back of his head. "Yes…no…it's just…"

"You told me that the only person that could help Seifer was Quistis! Don't you agree that it's about time for the two of them to get together?"

Squall shrugged. "I know, but..."

She gazed up at him. "You're still angry with him, aren't you?"

"He helps Zell and he helps Selphie but he doesn't say a _word_ to you - "

"Squall, he's trying. He really is, all right? Just…give him more time."

"We've given him plenty of time, Rinoa. Time's been a fucking _luxury_ for him."

"He's got a lot going on right now. Besides, have you ever thought about how I feel? _I_ forgive him. Shouldn't that be enough?"

Squall set his jaw. "It's not that easy."

Rinoa squeezed his hand. "Maybe…you should talk to him. _Civilly_."

Squall sighed and was about to reply when his gaze darted over her shoulder and he blinked. Rinoa followed his stare and smiled.

"Is that Zell and…um…what's-her-face?"

"Lynn. Yeah. They're talking."

They both watched as Zell was shifting his feet and rubbing the back of his head as he seemed to be talking nervously with the library girl in the middle of the quad, by the fountain. She was smiling shyly and nodding, folding her hands and intertwining her own fingers nervously. Zell couldn't seem to stand still as he put his hands on his hips, crossed his arms, shifted his feet, and rubbed the back of his head several times before shoving his hands into his pockets.

Then, after he said something, the library girl giggled and nodded vigourously. Rinoa and Squall could see her mouth the word "yes."

Zell's entire body seemed to jolt in surprise, but he recovered and gave her a wide grin, slamming a fist into his palm and replying a little too loudly, "Okay! Excellent! See you then!!!"

Rinoa smiled up at Squall, but he had a steely look in his eyes.

"I think Zell just asked her out."

"Well, yeah! What's the matter? Isn't that a good thing?"

Squall's gaze was suddenly trained on Seifer, who was across the quad talking to Quistis at the entrance of the dormitory wing.

"That's _it_," he uttered in a low growl. "I've waited long enough."

**_. . ._**

After speaking with Irvine, Quistis wanted to slip into her room even faster than before.

_No more encounters. No more encounters. Just…leave me alone…_

"Hey. Trepe."

Quistis stopped in her tracks and involuntarily sucked in a breath. She closed her eyes and mentally swore. For some reason, his voice was giving her nervous flutters more often, but his words were starting to make her angry.

'_Quistis.' It's 'Quistis.' Not 'Trepe.' Not 'Instructor.' _She opened her eyes again and exhaled. The mixture of anger and nervous exhilaration was starting to confuse her. _I need to settle down, seriously. Selphie's turning me into a nervous wreck._

She turned around and glanced at Seifer, who was walking from the direction of the training center. He was wearing black military pants and a black t-shirt, with Hyperion clipped at his side. His face was slightly rosy and his hair was slightly wet from sweat, indicating that he'd been training for an hour or so. Her chest tightened and she felt more nervous flutters. Swallowing, she forced them down into the pit of her stomach and managed a weak smile.

"Seifer. Hi."

He nodded to her and stopped, crossing his arms.

She looked down and shifted her feet. He followed her gaze and blinked.

"Where in the hell are your boots?"

Quistis didn't look up. "Long story," she grumbled.

He cocked his head and narrowed his eyes. "You feeling all right?"

She glanced up and nodded vigorously. "Oh! Mm-hmm! Yeah. Good. I'm fine."

He nodded slowly, but didn't keep his glare off of her. "Huh. You sure?"

"Sure I'm sure. I'm great. Never better."

He continued to scrutinize her, but his stare made her flush and look away. There was an agonizingly long pause. She felt his stare on her the entire time, but couldn't bring herself to look at him.

_What is it?! What?! _Quistis wanted to stomp her foot and scream. _What do you want from me?!?_

Finally, after neither of them said anything, she glanced up at him. The piercing green glare of his eyes almost made her lookdown again, but she held her gaze. He didn't look angry, like he usually did…just…concerned. And curious. Like he was trying to read her.

Seifer Almasy never did care about staring. Except this time, he wasn't doing it on purpose to make her uncomfortable.

She felt as if she had to say something.

"Um…thanks…for last night."

He didn't reply. Instead, he continued to search her expression and she watched him, feeling the heat rise in her blood. At her comment, however, both of them thought of the previous night.

Sleeping feet away from each other. Very innocent…not intimate at all…but it was still there, in the backs of their minds…

The notion was strangely provocative.

She saw his eyes dart down to her lips and back up to meet her gaze, and she found herself doing the same.

She immediately turned pink and looked down. _Damn Selphie. Damn Irvine. Putting ideas into my head. Oh, Hyne, could I be any more blatantly obvious? Just go before you embarrass yourself even more._

"Well…I should…lots of work to do, you know…and…things to get done…" She quickly turned around and hurriedly walked towards the dormitory wing. "I'll see you later."

Before he could respond, she was already turning the corner towards the girls' dormitory. He grunted, leaned against the wall, narrowed his eyes after her and put a fist on his hip. _Hrmh._ _What in the hell was that all about…?_

He debated whether or not he should follow her…after all, she did look a little peaked…and he wanted to make sure she wasn't having any more nosebleeds or passing out…

_Stop avoiding it and just tell her._

But he'd also run the risk of just pestering her and pissing her off. He didn't want to deal with that shit, either.

"Almasy."

_Hyne damn it. Fucked no matter what._

Seifer groaned inwardly and responded without even turning around. "Leonhart."

Squall approached Seifer and crossed his arms, Rinoa trailing him slowly. She looked slightly apprehensive and bit her lip nervously, as if she didn't even want to be there. Seifer slowly turned around with a bored sigh and raised an eyebrow at him.

"May I help you?"

Squall maintained his rigid posture, but looked slightly cross. "Selphie tells us that you apologized to her."

Seifer narrowed his eyes. "Who the hell is Selphie?"

"You know damn well who Selphie is."

"Messenger Girl?"

"And we also know that Zell and Lynn are no accident," Squall added.

Seifer snorted and crossed his arms. "I beg to differ. Chicken-wuss is a walking _catastrophe_."

"Stop acting like this is a joke, Almasy," Squall snapped.

"Then what the hell do you want, Leonhart? Make your point or get the fuck out of my way."

"Squall…" Rinoa gripped Squall's elbow.

"I want to know why you did it," Squall ignored Rinoa and glared at Seifer. "I want to know just what in the hell you were thinking when you threw an innocent young woman to a _lunatic_ accused of genocide - "

"Squall - "

"- and how that is supposed to be okay," Squall finished harshly, ignoring Rinoa's plea to calm down.

"Give me a fucking break, Pubey," Seifer rolled his eyes and started to walk away. "I'm not discussing this shit with you right now."

Squall strode forward and gripped Seifer's shoulder, forcefully yanking him around. "_Look_, you asshole – I've been patient enough with you. I haven't questioned _anything_ you've done for the past two months, but I'm getting _really _sick of acting like nothing's happened. You owe us an explanation! I want to know how you're suddenly a fucking hero for practically allowing Rinoa to be _mind-raped_ - "

"Squall!" Rinoa's tone grew angrier, mixed in with a bit of shock at his last sentence.

"You think I did all that shit to be a _hero_?" Seifer snarled back. "You think I did that for fucking fame and glory?"

"Doesn't seem to be much else of a reason, does there?" Squall countered nastily.

"Pull your head out of your ass, Squall," Seifer snapped. "Odine told all of you that Rinoa had to be possessed by Ultimecia in order for time compression to begin, right?!? That it could only be accomplished with Ellone's help?!"

Squall set his jaw and didn't reply.

"If Adel fully regenerated with Ultimecia inside of _her_, do you really fucking think the plan would have worked?" Seifer asked. "She was too powerful. She would have let loose and none of us would _be_ here right now - "

"We had the power to destroy Adel," Squall interrupted angrily. "_You _put everyone at risk by bringing Rinoa closer to her. _You_ put us all in danger by giving Adel the opportunity to regenerate faster and use Rinoa's powers! By doing that, you practically sped up the process!"

"If Adel was possessed by Ultimecia, we'd have all been _fucked_," Seifer argued. "The only way to delay that was by putting Rinoa in the same room - "

"That doesn't make any fucking sense, Almasy," Squall snapped. "Ultimecia was capable of possessing either one at any given point in time, regardless of their physical location, and she still could have picked Adel - "

"Not if you killed her first!" Seifer cut in, pointing at Squall. "And as I recall, you did. So what's the fucking problem here?"

Squall grit his teeth angrily. "You didn't have to shove Rinoa towards her like that!"

"Squall - " Rinoa's soft voice tried to cut in, but she was ignored.

"Then how in the fuck would time compression start, Fearless Leader?"

Squall glared at Seifer and ignored the question. "There was no point in _scaring _her like that! Ultimecia would have possessed her right away without your Hyne-damned theatrics!!!"

"Oh yeah? How do _you _know? How long were you going to sit around and twiddle your thumbs until that happened? Ultimecia did everything on _her _time, not ours," Seifer growled. "What the fuck do you _think _I was trying to do? Make Hyne-damned introductions? I shoved Rinoa towards Adel because there was a good chance Ultimecia would hop back into her _immediately_ after you got rid of Adel. Just like after she transferred out of Matron."

Squall remained silent.

"Yeah, so I sped up the process. Yeah, so I put Rinoa's life in danger," Seifer curled a lip. "I set a trap. Ultimecia took the bait. It was a gamble, but it _worked_. If I wouldn't have gotten my hands dirty, _nobody_ would've. Think about it. _You_ weren't ready to go through with the plan. _You_ wouldn't have let her anywhere near that bitch. _You_ would have taken her to the most secluded spot so you could attempt to protect her from everyone - "

"Shut up," Squall snarled.

"- but you know you couldn't have protected her from _herself_, so I did you a fucking favor - "

It was in that split second that Squall's burning rage had dissipated as he finally understood why Seifer did all he could to protect Matron, even if it meant going undercover. Even if it meant fighting his allies. Even if it meant death.

_Rinoa…even if you end up as the world's enemy…I'll…I'll be your knight_, Squall remembered thinking. He had meant it. He still meant it. It was a scary thought, and it was even a little ludicrous, but it was true. He'd kill for her.

Squall swallowed. _Just like Seifer killed for Matron. Would I do anything to protect my mother? My sister? My lover?_

…_Yeah. I would._

_Seifer's right._

He didn't want to admit it, though.

"You could have just warned us," Squall stepped up, balling a fist angrily. "You could have just told us what you were trying to do and we could have worked together - "

"Oh, give me a fucking break," Seifer crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. "Because you would have believed me right off the bat, I'm _sure_."

"You could have hurt her! You didn't have to grab her like that and shove her - "

"No, you're right; I could've used sleep or used the hilt of my gunblade -"

"_Fuck you_, asshole," Squall snarled. "You treat everything like it's a fucking joke - "

"That's because everything _about_ this is a damn joke - "

"Stop it!" Rinoa stepped in and curled her fists. "Stop this, _right now!!!_ Stop fighting!"

Her shout caused the two boys to fall silent and glance at her. Rinoa barely yelled, but when she did, it was enough to attract attention.

She stood in between them and glanced back and forth at them. "Hyne, you won't solve anything like this if you keep acting like a pair of testosterone-overloaded lugs!"

Seifer and Squall both scowled.

Rinoa turned towards Squall. "Squall, shame on you! If you want to know the truth from him, you could have just asked. Accusing him and trying to force a confession out of him won't do you any good. You, of all people, should know that."

Squall glared at her but remained silent, trying to ignore the smug grin Seifer was giving him.

_She just fucking said 'shame on you' like you were five, Pueby. Ha, ha._

"And you!" Rinoa turned towards Seifer and his grin immediately disappeared. "Your sarcasm isn't helping! You're just adding fuel to the fire, and this conversation could go in circles all day long! Stop giving Squall the incentive to fight with you and just answer the damn questions!"

They both looked at her in surprise.

Rinoa rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips. "Ooooh! Where's Quistis when you need her? No _wonder _she doesn't have anyone special in her life," she stared hard at Seifer. "She's too busy _babysitting_."

Seifer set his jaw and glared at her darkly while Squall looked down at the ground and crossed his arms.

"Now, gentlemen," Rinoa spoke in a silky, controlled tone, "will we be able to settle this like grown-ups?"

They remained silent.

"Seifer, could you please explain to us what happened…?" Rinoa asked him gently. "Why…why you did what you did…? And I'm not mad at you."

Seifer glanced at her and set his jaw in thought. With a defeated sigh, he lowered his head and put his hands on his hips.

_Seifer was glaring out the window, arms crossed, at the blue city skyline of Esthar, tapping his foot impatiently. Headmaster Cid was sitting down, sipping nervously on a cup of tea. The president of Esthar, Laguna Loire, was leaning against the front of his desk with his arms crossed. His men, Kiros and Ward, were standing along the wall silently._

_At 1500 hours, they'd all met up in Laguna Loire's presidential office. _

_When Cid had arrived, he seemed shaken and out of breath but relieved to find Seifer in one piece. He quickly shook hands with Ward, Kiros and Laguna, then strode over to Seifer with a worried look on his face._

"_Are you all right? I must say, Seifer, that stunt with Galbadia Garden…"_

"_How many injuries are there?"_

_Cid put his hand on Seifer's arm. "Minimal. Don't worry. Everyone's a little banged up, but they'll be all right. However…there's extensive damage to the west wing. Almost all the windows had been blown out of the classrooms…there was a large fire in the cafeteria…but again, the students are all in one piece. Dr. Kadowaki's handling it."_

"_What about Leonhart and his team?"_

"_They're fine, Seifer. They're all fine. But I've been wondering…how did you manage to evacuate the Galbadian SeeD cadets?"_

_Seifer crossed his arms and looked at the floor. "I arrived with the Galbadian army shortly before Edea's escort did. I ordered the evacuation and stationed the Galabadian soldiers throughout the campus instead. When Edea arrived, I just told her that Martine was expecting us and they were already heading for the hills. She'd wanted to hunt them all down immediately, but I told her that we would probably have more luck with Balamb Garden, where all the SeeDs were located in one spot. That Balamb was probably harboring Ellone. I told her we could come back for the Galbadian SeeDs later once they've regrouped…that we'd round them all up like cattle…"_

_Seifer trailed off and set his jaw. Cid watched him with a sympathetic gaze. "It's all right, Seifer. Your plan worked. She believed you, didn't she?"_

_Seifer nodded._

"_And you brought her to us. You tried your best. Don't dwell on it. You've saved hundreds of SeeDs. I'm sure Martine is grateful."_

"_Why didn't the Galbadian SeeDs stay and fight the sorceress instead?" Kiros asked. "You could have saved yourself the trouble of searching for Balamb Garden."_

"_They would have killed Edea," Seifer replied flatly. "My mission was to ensure that didn't happen."_

_Cid nodded sadly. "I know…it might sound selfish…but…with Edea dead…"_

_Laguna stepped up and put his hand on Cid's shoulder. "We understand. She's your love…she's your life. You had to fight for her…to the bitter end…"_

_Seifer narrowed his eyes. Is he serious? _

"_No matter," Cid waved a hand. "It worked. Edea is now in SeeD custody. I believe she'll be safe for the time being."_

_Once Cid had finished talking with Seifer, he strode forward grimly and shook hands with the president._

"_Laguna…it's good to see you well."_

_Laguna nodded. "And you too, Cid. I'm so sorry to hear about your wife. When we heard, we tried to do everything we could to protect Ellone." He shook his head and sighed. "I was hoping it would never come to this. I was hoping Elle would be left alone."_

_Seifer narrowed his eyes. "How do you two know each other?"_

"_I've known Mr. Loire for a very long time," Cid replied. "Since you were a toddler."_

…_What?_

"_Ellone is Laguna's adopted daughter," Cid explained to Seifer. "He brought her to the orphanage during the First Sorceress War. Soon after, more orphans from the war – including you, Seifer – were brought to us."_

…_Laguna is Sis's dad? _

"_Cid and Edea have been keeping Ellone safe at their orphanage ever since," Laguna added. "She was placed there because of her special abilities…and so she would be safe from anyone who would want to exploit her, like Adel…"_

"_Wait…what abilities?" Seifer put his hands on his hips. "What can she do? And why would a sorceress care?"_

_Laguna explained to Seifer that Dr. Odine had hypothesized that Ultimecia was from the future, how she was able to travel back in time, and why they were tracking her movements. The Junction Machine Ellone, created by Dr. Odine, was researched based on Ellone's powers to connect peoples' consciousness into the past. Somehow, Ultimecia had gotten ahold of the machine and was using it in the future._

_Seifer glanced at Cid. "Did you know Ellone was capable of doing that?"_

_Cid shook his head. "No, I didn't. But Edea knew she was special. Because Ellone used to be part of our family, we wanted to put her in Garden when she was old enough…but…that's where the White SeeDs come in. Edea created them especially for Ellone, just in case something like this happened. Ellone was in hiding for most of her life…until Edea disappeared, and I sent you on your mission…then…"_

"_After the sorceress's orders to hunt down Ellone, we thought it was best that she come to Esthar," Laguna spoke up. "I'm indebted to Cid for keeping her safe for this long. I only wish I could have come to see her more often. I've missed out on so much of her life…" His face screwed tight and looked almost if he were about to cry. Seifer was afraid, and appalled, that he was probably about to. _

_Hyne._

_Seifer blinked and curled a lip at him. "Whatever. Where's Ellone now?"_

"_At our Lunar Base," Laguna replied._

_Seifer narrowed his eyes. "You shot her up into outer space??"_

"_It was the only other place she could be safe from the sorceress," Laguna explained. "The space station is under Estharian control and the most secure facility outside of the planet. As long as she's not anywhere near SeeDs – no offense – or around a lot of people…the sorceress can't touch her."_

_Fair enough._

_Now, they were all gathered in Laguna's office waiting on Dr. Odine. The Headmaster had finished his tea. Laguna, Kiros, Ward, and Seifer were all silent. Seifer wanted to punch a hole through the glass window, but remained still. Once in awhile, he'd glance at Laguna and narrow his eyes. There was just something uncanny about his appearance. Damn, he looked almost identical to Squall. His personality was a complete 180 degree turn, however. Squall was stoic and quiet. Laguna was a bumbling moron. _

_For the first time in his life, Seifer discovered that's what he liked about Squall. He was a no-bullshit guy who spoke only when spoken to, and he was damn good with a gunblade._

_Thank Hyne he wasn't anything like this Squall look-alike standing in the office. Seifer rolled his eyes and wondered how in the hell an idiot like him was elected president of Esthar. There must've been some sort of major fuck-up at the ballot box._

_Finally, some muffled shouting was heard from the double-doors outside._

"_Sir, you aren't authorized to go in - "_

"_I have an appointment! I've been summoned by ze President himself! Let me pass!"_

_Laguna looked at his watch and sighed. "Twenty minutes late. Right on time."_

_The doors swung open and a short man entered the room. Seifer nearly laughed out loud upon the sight of him. His dark red hair was pulled into a topknot, his pants and sleeves were baggy, almost as if he were wearing an oversized karate gi, and he was wearing a gigantic neck piece that flared out and looked like some sort of elaborate cone collar only dogs would wear after surgery. He had an extremely pointy nose, beady eyes, and a dark red goatee was trimmed down to a triangular point off of his chin. Seifer clenched his jaw and looked away, forcing himself to refrain from making any chafing comments._

_Hyne. The president of Esthar is a clown, and so is his head researcher. We're fucked._

"_President Loire! I am a busy man! Vat iz it you vant zis time?"_

"_We have an update on the sorceress," Laguna replied. "We'll need your input, doctor."_

"_Eh? Vy didn't you say so," Dr. Odine clucked, closing the door behind him. "So, vat is our sorceress up to now?"_

_Laguna glanced at Seifer and cleared his throat. "Cadet Almasy, you have the floor."_

_Seifer turned away from the windows and stood in the center of the room. "Approximately seventy-two hours ago, Ultimecia released her control upon sorceress Edea and is now possessing…" He paused and swallowed. "…a young woman by the name of Rinoa Heartilly."_

"_She what?" Cid stood up, alarmed. "Seifer, does Squall know Rinoa's possessed? Did any of them see it?"_

_Seifer shook his head. "That's why I wanted to tell you as soon as possible. I think I'm the only one who saw Ultimecia. She…she talked to me. I don't think Squall and the others even heard her. I think she stopped time, or cast some sort of spell."_

_Cid sighed and rubbed his head. "Edea still thinks she's a danger. I guess that's not the case at all. Now it's Rinoa we need to be worried about."_

"_How is she?" Seifer asked._

"_She's in a coma," Cid replied. "I suppose it's for the best right now. If she's sleeping, she can't do any harm to herself or to anyone else."_

"_Vere is zis Rinoa now?" Dr. Odine asked._

"_She's in the care of my SeeD team," Cid answered. "They're currently at our old orphanage, off the Cape of Good Hope in the south. Once they've regained their strength, they're going to travel to Esthar with my wife."_

"_Interesting," Odine narrowed his eyes and looked at the ceiling. "I vill have to examine zis new sorceress ven she arrives."_

"_Would you happen to know why Rinoa is in a coma, Odine?" Laguna asked._

"_Hm. It iz hard to say. Vas your vife in ze same situation, Headmaster?" Odine glanced at Cid._

_Cid shook his head. "Edea willingly took Ultimecia's powers."_

"_Ah, yes, very interesting. Because your vife submitted to Ultimecia by her own free vill, she vas not affected by it. But zis girl vas blindsided, yes? She had no vay of knoving Ultimecia vas going to possess her?"_

_Blunt way of putting it. Seifer narrowed his eyes. "That's correct. We didn't see it coming until it was too late."_

"_I see. So now Ultimecia has svitched hosts. I vonder vy."_

_Seifer shifted his feet and glanced at Cid. "The SeeD team dispatched to fight her were…uh…pretty rough…Edea passed out…"_

"_An exorcism, hm? Tell me, does zis Rinoa have strong magic povers?"_

_Come to think of it…_

"_Yeah. She does. She hardly ever uses physical attacks." _

_She kicked my ass with her magic, actually. She could even give Quistis a run for her money, and that's saying something._

"_My hypozesis iz zat Ultimecia saw more potential in Rinoa zan in Edea," Odine tapped his chin in thought. "She iz now collecting her strength so she can be more poverful zrough zis Rinoa."_

_Seifer clenched his jaw. He was getting agitated with Odine's referral to Rinoa as "zis" Rinoa. She wasn't a specimen, dammit._

"_Right now she iz in a coma because Ultimecia must be drained from her last encounter vith ze SeeDs," Odine explained. "It iz my belief zat she iz saving her strength. Zis Rinoa cannot be up and running around vile Ultimecia iz inside her…using up her energy…"_

_Seifer ground his teeth. He wanted to knock Odine's head right off his dog collar._

"…_so she iz sleeping right now, biding her time," the doctor finished._

"_You said that Ultimecia actually showed herself and talked to you, Seifer," Cid spoke up. "Did she reveal anything to you that could help us?"_

"_Yeah, but none of it made sense," Seifer crossed his arms. "She told me to find something called the 'Lunatic Pandora.'"_

_Laguna, Kiros, and Ward exchanged troubled glances. Dr. Odine let out a small gasp._

_Seifer looked at them and narrowed his eyes. "Why? What is that thing?"_

"_It's nothing but trouble, that's what it is," Laguna grumbled._

"_Zis iz exciting!" Dr. Odine grinned. After receiving dark glares from the other men in the room, however, he cleared his throat and sobered up. "Zat iz to say…the Lunatic Pandora vas a project of mine long ago…it vas an ancient piece of technology ve salvaged and serviced. Ve studied its uses and vat its magnificent capabilities vere for…it vas all concurrent vith my sorceress research, but eventually it proved to be too dangerous."_

"_Adel originally funded the entire thing," Laguna added. "Before the resistance movement. Before the war."_

"_Lunatic Pandora iz a massive veapon," Odine nodded. "I tried to study its purpose much furzer, of course, but ze var started and ve had no choice but to sink it to ze bottom of ze ocean."_

"_It was the cause of the Lunar Cry," Cid cut in. "Did Quistis ever talk about that in class, Seifer?"_

_Seifer nodded. Until now, however, he didn't know the Lunatic Pandora was the cause of it._

'_During the Sorceress War, a massive weapon was used to call paranormal creatures, those not of this world, down from the moon,' Quistis had explained. 'To this day, the mechanisms of the weapon aren't fully understood, but it is believed that when properly aligned with the moon at a specific latitude and longitude, it will create a massive lunar eclipse. This had happened in a place now called Tear's Point, which you know is near the memorial. When the Lunatic Pandora was brought to this spot, the moon had turned blood red and thousands upon thousands of monsters ravaged the land. This event was called the Lunar Cry. It took many lives – several militaries around the world – to rid the monsters, capture Adel, and ultimately hide this weapon from mankind. Its whereabouts are still kept top secret. Even now there are a few dozen species of hybrids and unique monsters roaming the lands that are believed to be of Lunar Cry descent. Can anyone tell me which species might fall under this category?'_

"_So, besides wreaking havoc, what the hell would Ultimecia want with Lunatic Pandora?" Seifer asked the group._

"_Sounds like she wants to wipe us all out," Kiros shrugged._

"_But if she's from the future, and if she's using her consciousness to possess others in our time, why the fuck would she care? If she eliminates all life now, wouldn't she be eliminating the possibility of her own existence later?" Seifer crossed his arms and hoped what he was saying was making sense._

_Hyne, this is fucked up shit._

_Dr. Odine pursed his lips, deep in thought. "Yes…curious. Vas zere anyzing else she could have mentioned to you? Anyzing besides her plans for ze Lunar Cry?"_

_Capture all SeeDs. Kill them all. Destroy Garden. Seifer shrugged. "She was just hell-bent on killing people. She's fucking nuts."_

"_Wait," Cid suddenly stepped forward. "When we were at the orphanage, Edea told me that although she couldn't remember much, she was able to remember that Ultimecia wants to achieve something called 'time compression.'" He glanced at Seifer. "Does this mean anything to you?"_

_Seifer shook his head. "No. All I knew is that she wanted to hunt down all SeeDs. Destroy all Gardens. She was also looking for Ellone. It wasn't until after she left Matron's body and jumped to Rinoa's that she revealed herself and said she wanted the Lunatic Pandora."_

"_Ahhhh, yes," Dr. Odine grinned and nodded. "Of course."_

_Everyone stared at him._

_Dr. Odine blinked and glanced around. "Have any of you heard of time compression?"_

_Everyone shook their heads._

"_Of course not," Odine shrugged. "I vould not expect anyvon of your nature to understand - "_

"_Just tell us what it is," Laguna interrupted with an exasperated sigh._

"_It iz like a vacuum," Dr. Odine explained. "Normally, ve are constantly in a time flow, yes? Vell, vith time compression, zere is no such zing. Matter collapses, time and space are bent…basically, it iz compressed into von single moment in time. Zere iz no past, zere is no present, zere is no future. Only ze one moment zat exists in its entirety. In zis moment, it iz impossible for all other forms of life to exist. It iz in zis moment where ze sorceress Ultimecia vants to reign. She vill be ze supreme being in compressed time, assuming she achieves zis. Zat iz vy she vants to capture Ellone. Ellone iz ze key."_

_Seifer crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes. "How do you know all this?"_

"_My entire life's vork has been spent researching zis!" Dr. Odine snapped. "I am ze expert! Not you! Can you zink of a better explanation? Eh?!"_

_Seifer stepped forward. "Listen, you little fuck - "_

_Laguna held up his palms. "Whoa, whoa, hey!"_

_Cid grabbed Seifer's arm and pulled him back. "Please continue, doctor."_

_Dr. Odine glared at Seifer and cleared his throat. "Ahem. Like I vas saying, it iz only a hypozesis az to vy Ultimecia vants to compress time, but ze bottom line iz zat all life vill cease to exist az ve know it. Ve must zink of a vay to stop her. Ozervise, she vill continue to pursue vays to achieve her goal."_

"_If time compression is her goal, why did she go through all that trouble to try to eliminate SeeD?" Laguna asked._

"_Garden was Edea's idea," Cid spoke up. "At the time, I didn't exactly understand. Now it's clear. She became a sorceress long ago, before I even met her." He glanced at Seifer. "She knew that her only hope was you. She knew that she needed SeeDs to protect others from the sorceress. If Ultimecia is from the future, then perhaps she's frightened of you. She wants to eliminate you before you get to her first."_

_Seifer shrugged. Made sense. In a fucked up way. But… "If Ultimecia is from the future, then she's already succeeded," Seifer crossed his arms. "She's obviously still alive. The SeeDs failed."_

"_Not necessarily," Dr. Odine raised a finger. "If she iz traveling back in time, she vants to change somezing. Perhaps she iz still experiencing trouble vith future SeeDs. If time compression iz ze only vay she vill be happy, I do not zink ze SeeDs have failed."_

"_Sounds like they're giving her a run for her money," Laguna grinned._

"_Gee, that's a relief," Seifer replied with bitter sarcasm. If I could ever travel to Ultimecia's time, I'd beat some SeeD ass. They're doing a pretty piss-poor job if they're letting her run around in the past._

_Kiros seemed to sense Seifer's frustration. "If you want something done, you've gotta do it yourself," he grinned darkly._

_Seifer snorted. "No shit."_

_There was a long pause as everything sunk in. Ultimecia had Rinoa. She wanted Lunatic Pandora. Lunatic Pandora was for the Lunar Cry. The Lunar Cry was to create hell on earth. In addition, Ultimecia wanted to achieve time compression and wipe out all existence. Great. So then…how…?_

"_What do we do?" Seifer finally asked. "How do we get rid of her?"_

_Dr. Odine mulled over the question and shrugged. "You must do vat she says," he said._

_Laguna glared at him. "What? You mean go through with it? We sunk Lunatic Pandora years ago so the sorceress would never gain access to it ever again, and you're saying we should dig it up for exactly this reason?"_

"_In a vord, yes," Dr. Odine nodded. "You vant Ultimecia to reveal herself, yes? She vill alvays lie dormant until vat she vants iz finished."_

"_There has to be another way," Kiros murmured. "We'll be playing right into her hands if we excavate Lunatic Pandora. Did you forget the chaos it brought last time?"_

"_It iz ze only vay," Odine shook his head. "You vant to destroy Ultimecia? You must bring zis sorceress Rinoa to Esthar. She vants to achieve time compression, yes? She cannot do zis unless she goes back furzer in time. Ve need zis sorceress Rinoa and ve also need Ellone - " _

"_This is bullshit," Seifer curled his lip and motioned angrily to Dr. Odine. "You want to listen to this crackpot? He's the cause of this whole clusterfuck! He's the reason Ultimecia can travel back in time in the first place!" He glared at Laguna. "You said he kidnapped Ellone and created that junction machine! You should smash the fuckin' machine and arrest his ass!"_

"_You vant to go outside?!" Odine cried, waving his fists at Seifer rather comically. "You vant to fisticuffs?"_

"_I'll cut your fucking head off, you psychotic old loon," Seifer growled, brandishing Hyperion. "First Ellone, then Matron, and now you want to put your grubby hands on Rinoa - "_

"_Seifer, that's enough," Cid interrupted. "This isn't getting us anywhere."_

"_He's right," Laguna sighed. "Don't waste your energy on Odine. It's pointless. The only reason I keep funding his work is because it's his invention that's keeping Adel locked up."_

"_Smashing ze junction machine iz useless anyway," Odine ignored Laguna's remark. "Right now I only have ze prototype. Ze real machine vill not be made for many years. Even if ve could destroy it – even if I destroyed my notes and papers now – Ultimecia's consciousness iz still in ze young woman; she vill remain zere if ze machine ceases to exist. Ultimecia's mind vill be severed from her own physical body in her own time, and zat in turn could be disastrous. Her consciousness vould have free reign over anyvone's mind. Destroying Junction Machine Ellone vould essentially render Ultimecia invincible."_

_Seifer sighed and shoved his gunblade back onto his belt. "Great."_

"_What do we need the Lunatic Pandora for?" Kiros crossed his arms. "If all we need are Ellone and the sorceress to achieve time compression, that should be enough, shouldn't it?"_

_Dr. Odine shook his head. "If you vant to completely destroy Ultimecia and her chances of possessing another sorceress of our time, you must also destroy Adel. Zere iz only von vay to break Adel from her seal. It will be like killing two birds vith von stone, yes?"_

"_You're talking about the Lunar Cry," Kiros narrowed his eyes. "That's the only way to free Adel?"_

"_I constructed her prison to be foolproof," Odine replied indignantly. "Ze only vay for Adel to return iz by bringing ze Lunatic Pandora to Tear's Point. I did zis assuming nobody vould ever vant to try it."_

"_And so now we have to trigger Armageddon in order to destroy this bitch?" Seifer couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Forget it. Count me out."_

_Laguna glanced at him. "You wouldn't be alone. I could have Esthar soldiers assist you."_

_Seifer glared at Laguna. "You want me to lead this little operation? Fuck that."_

"_Seifer…"_

"_Are you deaf? I said no."_

"_Galbadia is willing to cooperate to the fullest," Cid stepped in. "I've contacted General Caraway and he said he'd do whatever was necessary to eliminate this threat. He'll allow you to continue to lead the Galbadian Army."_

_Seifer narrowed his eyes. "Does he know about his daughter?"_

_Cid sighed. "No. Nobody else knows about Rinoa's association with Garden besides us. I was going to inform him so he knows that she's safe, but I've changed my mind. She's too vulnerable right now. If word gets out that she's the sorceress, I fear another attempt would be made on her life."_

"_If she iz sleeping now, she should be all right for ze time being," Dr. Odine added. "But your SeeDs must bring her here az soon az possible."_

_Cid nodded. "They'll be escorting my wife, Edea, to Esthar. She also needs to speak with you." He turned to Seifer. "Seifer…we need you."_

_Seifer crossed his arms. "No. I've had enough."_

"_You're all we've got, son," Laguna put his hand on Seifer's shoulder._

_Seifer shoved Laguna's arm away and pointed at him. "First of all, don't call me 'son.' Second of all, since when was this a fucking dictatorship? I said no. Matron is safe and my mission is finished."_

"_Matron won't be safe until Ultimecia is gone," Cid replied in a soft, low voice. "And what about Rinoa? Ultimecia has control over her. Are you just going to walk away from that?"_

_Seifer scowled. "Squall's taking care of her. Make him do it."_

"_Seifer - "_

"_NO! I'm not fucking doing this anymore!" Seifer bellowed, pacing back and forth in Laguna's office. "Fuck this! Get someone else! Do you understand? Let Squall handle it! I'm done, you hear me? I'm fucking DONE! I'm NOT going back to that crazy bitch!"_

"_But Ultimecia trusts you," Cid urged. "Please understand…we can't put anyone else on this mission. You're the link we need to stop her from whatever she's planning. I know you're tired. I know you're worn out."_

_Seifer continued to pace angrily like a caged tiger. Laguna, Kiros, Ward, and Dr. Odine watched silently._

"_Seifer, listen," Cid continued softly. "I know you're on edge. She's pushed you to the brink of madness, but you've never given in. Do you hear me? We need you because you've come so far. None of the others can do this. You know that."_

_Seifer clenched his jaw and ran a hand through his hair._

"_Seifer, this has escalated into something bigger than you and me," Cid responded quietly. "Bigger than all of us. Ultimecia is a threat to all existence. She could be planning the end of the world. We know she'll seek whatever means to make that possible. What if Ultimecia transfers to someone else, Seifer? What if she goes back to my wife? What if she goes to Selphie? To Quistis?"_

_Seifer felt something twist in his stomach and he stared at Cid with burning hatred. He'd never wanted to raise a fist to the only man he'd ever known as a father, but at that moment in time, he had to hold back from doing so._

"_Ultimecia vill never stop," Dr. Odine put his hands behind his back and rocked back on his heels. "She vill continue to try to find a vay to compress time - "_

" – _and until that happens, nobody is immune to her tyranny," Laguna finished._

"_I am not ordering you to do this, soldier," Cid finished with a stern voice. "I'm asking you. Please. For the sake of everyone on this planet."_

_Hyne. An order would have been better._

_Seifer scowled, crossed his arms, and sighed in defeat._

_There was an immensely long pause. Everyone watched Seifer intently. He finally lifted his head up and glared at Cid._

"_Fine. I've already bought my ticket to hell twice over."_

"_Yes!" Laguna cried and pumped his fist. "That's the spirit!"_

_Seifer grit his teeth and gave Laguna a murderous look._

"_Ve vill have to make ze arrangements immediately," Dr. Odine piped up. "Ze excavation of Lunatic Pandora must commence vizout delay - "_

"_Put in a call to General Caraway," Laguna instructed Kiros. "Tell him to send a squad of Galbadian soldiers to Esthar. We'll work together on this."_

_Kiros gave Laguna a nod and walked out of the room._

"_Dr. Odine, we're going to need you to collaborate with our troops," Laguna said. "They're going to need to know exactly where to dig."_

"_Do not worry. I have ze exact location of ze Lunatic Pandora in my secret files," Odine waved a hand. "Ve shall begin as soon as zis young man iz ready."_

_Seifer glared at Odine for calling him 'young man.' Still, it was a far cry from being called 'boy.' He ran a hand through his hair._

"_I'm ready whenever you are," he finally said with an irritated shrug. "What do I do?"_

"So you activated the Lunatic Pandora with Esthar's permission?" Squall asked gruffly.

"That's right," Seifer replied. "The whole thing was a collaboration from the start. It was planned. Did you _really_think that the Galbadian soldiers were smart enough to locate and dig up that thing on their own? C'mon. Odine was the only person alive who knew enough about the Lunatic Pandora."

"Why didn't anyone tell my team?" Squall narrowed his eyes. "We walked into it completely blind."

Seifer stared at him blankly. "That's the way it had to be."

_It had been two days since the ordered excavation of Lunatic Pandora. The Galbadian soldiers still didn't know exactly what they were doing or why they were doing it, but because it was a planned collaboration with Esthar in order to defeat the sorceress, more help came than expected. There was a certain air of relief that the sorceress was no longer in sight, and any efforts made to vanquish her were met with enthusiasm instead of fear._

_Dripping wet and covered in dangling cables from the sea rig equipment, the Lunatic Pandora stood towering over the eastern shore of Esthar on top of a giant platform with wheels, slowly being pulled away. Seifer, Dr. Odine, and Laguna were standing further away, staring up at it._

"_That's the Lunatic Pandora?" Seifer raised an eyebrow._

"_Yep," Laguna nodded._

"_You're kidding me. The doomsday device is a giant fucking brick?" he snorted. "What's it do?"_

_Dr. Odine glared at Seifer. "It iz a very poverful veapon, zat is vat it does! Mind your tongue! Zere vill be grave conseqvences if you tamper vith it! You must take very careful measures vith it if you vant it to vork correctly!"_

_Seifer rolled his eyes. "Yeah, okay. So, how am I supposed to get it to Tear's Point?"_

"_It levitates," Laguna shrugged. "I guess you just drive it on over. Right, doctor?"_

"_Ze proper mechanics of it are located furzer vithin," Odine nodded. "I vill give you ze instructions on how to operate ze equipment."_

_Seifer glanced at him and blinked. "Do I get a large sign that says 'WIDE LOAD' on it? You know, to warn others that I'm coming?"_

_Laguna chuckled but Odine didn't seem amused._

"_You zink zis iz funny? You zink cracking jokes about my life's vork iz going to help you defeat ze sorceress?"_

_Laguna held up his hands. "Odine, he doesn't mean anything by it - "_

"_I think I can have a few laughs out of it, yeah," Seifer challenged Odine. "Seeing that I'm the one risking my fucking neck for everyone else. Consider it the last few rants of a dead man walking."_

"_Seifer, don't talk like that," Laguna gave him a sympathetic glance. "We're all with you. We know you can do it."_

_Seifer rolled his eyes. "So, when do I get to go joyriding in this thing?"_

_Odine narrowed his eyes. "As soon as ve clean it up a bit and inspect ze mechanisms inside to make sure it iz fully functional. You vill train vith a member of my staff so you know how to vork ze controls inside."_

"_How long will that take?" Laguna asked. "We're a little pressed for time, doctor."_

"_Vithin the next tventy-four hours or so, he should be able to navigate ze Lunatic Pandora on his own," Odine answered. "You must remember zat zis iz all for naught if ze sorceress Rinoa iz not present. Timing iz essential."_

"_Kiros and Ward are monitoring the Esthar border," Laguna nodded and checked his watch. "Edea's escort should be here tomorrow morning."_

"_Okay, so let me get this straight," Seifer held up a hand. "Squall and his team, along with Rinoa and Edea, are coming to Esthar tomorrow morning, but they're not going to know anything about this plan?"_

"_That's correct," Laguna nodded._

"_And…why not?" Seifer shook his head. "I say the more they know about it the better. If they don't know what's going on they could inadvertently try to stop the whole damn thing from happening, and we'll lose our shot at getting to Ultimecia."_

_Laguna glanced at Odine. "Doctor?"_

"_Zis iz exactly vat I am expecting," Dr. Odine lifted his chin and put his hands behind his back. "If zey vant to stop you, zey vill have to come to you, yes? If my calculations are correct, everyzing vill vork out. Zey cannot know about our plans because ze sorceress iz already vith zem. If ve tell zem, ve could be inadvertantely telling Ultimecia's consciousness, vich iz harbored in Rinoa. Zat could be catastrophic."_

_Seifer shook his head. "Rinoa's in a coma. She won't hear anything that's going on. Why can't we just tell the team and leave her in a different room for a second?"_

_Odine shook his head. "Ve must remember zat it could be possible that Ultimecia's consciousness iz still fully avake, but inside a resting body. It iz also possible she could svitch hosts again. If she does zat vith a SeeD member, she vill discover ze plot."_

_Quistis._

"_I am also afraid zat Ultimecia might be gaining enough pover to start reading minds," Odine continued. "Ve cannot risk zis. Ve must move qvickly. Besides, do you zink zat zey vould villingly present ze sorceress Rinoa to Adel? Just like zat? I do not zink so. You must do it forcefully."_

_True. Squall would fight tooth and nail before letting Rinoa strut up to Adel. Seifer clenched his jaw. "Okay…so…we're just going to wing this? We're simply going to sit back and hope they come to me?"_

"_Once they arrive in Esthar, we'll let them know about Ultimecia's plan to compress time," Laguna replied. "I'm sure Edea has mentioned it to them already. They'll have no choice but to come to Lunatic Pandora to try to stop the whole thing."_

"_But they'll still think I'm a traitor," Seifer pointed out._

_Laguna nodded. "…Yeah. If you've got to get Rinoa to Adel, that's how it has to be. I'm sorry, Seifer."_

_When I went up against them for Matron…that was different…but this…? They might actually kill me this time._

_He chuckled bitterly and shook his head. "I really am fucking nuts."_

_There was a long pause. Laguna turned towards him._

"_I can request Cid to send backup, Seifer. I know there are few Galbadian soldiers that can stand up against SeeDs…but…are there any comrades you can trust that can help you?"_

_Afer a moment of silence, Seifer nodded. "Yeah. There is. I'll need Fujin and Raijin for this job."_

"_I'll see to it."_

"_Remember, ven ze SeeDs come to ze Lunatic Pandora, you must present ze sorceress Rinoa to Adel," Dr. Odine spoke up. "Zis iz important."_

_Seifer narrowed his eyes. "Remind me again…why do I have to do that?"_

"_It iz possible zat Ultimecia vants to use Adel for her purposes," Odine answered. "Adel iz a very poverful sorceress. If Ultimecia possesses Adel, zat could be catastrophic. She iz much more poverful zan Rinoa and ze fusion could make her practically indestructible. Ze SeeDs must destroy Adel so zat zere iz only one sorceress in our time instead of two. Ultimecia vill have no choice but to choose Rinoa, but zere iz no telling when she vould actually possess her again. It could take minutes or it could take veeks...even months. Ze only vay ve can anticipate an immediate transfer iz if Rinoa iz in direct proximity to Adel. She must be close at hand in order for ze exchange to take place after Adel iz destroyed."_

"_Just like you said Edea did with Rinoa," Laguna said._

"_If everyzing goes according to plan, you can zen trigger time compression vith Ellone's help and ze SeeDs can destroy Ultimecia."_

"_And Ellone is up in the lunar base?" Seifer asked._

"_That's right, but we'll radio the personnel to bring her down tomorrow," Laguna replied. "We want to get everyone out of there before the Lunar Cry starts."_

"Then what happened?" Squall demanded. "The Lunar Cry started with everyone still inside the Lunar Base. It was never evacuated. You put hundreds of lives in danger."

"Yeah, no thanks to you," Seifer sneered. "Because you went up to the Lunar Base with Rinoa _without authorization_, you threw our plans into one big snafu. I think it's safe to say that you royally fucked everything up. Again."

Squall took a step forward but Rinoa held him back. "Odine was the one who let us through," Squall pointed at him. "So if _he_ knew about it, then apparently there was a major lack of communication on _your_ end - "

"Ya think?!" Seifer snapped. "Once again, you're quick to come to a dumbass fucking conclusion, aren't you?"

Squall gave him a hard glare.

"Since when was that fuckjob Odine _ever _fucking trustworthy?" Seifer crossed his arms. "He gave you clearance right under our noses and we couldn't do anything about it until it was too late."

_After the Lunatic Pandora had been cleaned up thoroughly and the control room checked for proper mechanical function, they were ready to go. The control room was full of scientists and Galbadian soldiers bustling in and out, checking the equipment, while Kiros looked on. Laguna and Dr. Odine were busy in the city, making sure things were running smoothly on their end._

_The room was relatively clean and smooth, made out of what seemed like glassy tile and marble, unlike the raw ore that had been dug out to create hallways and elevators outside and down below. The control panel was sitting on a main platform in front of a large, tinted window that overlooked the horizon straight ahead. Seifer, a young scientist wearing a lab coat, and Kiros were all standing on the platform._

"_All you have to do is put in these coordinates that we have written down for you," the scientist explained to Seifer, handing him a clipboard and pointing at the controls. "Dr. Odine has already mapped out the latitude and longitude of the exact spot the Lunatic Pandora needs to dock in Tear's Point…from there, all you'll have to do is sit and wait for everything to fall into place."_

_Seifer snorted. "No pun intended, huh?"_

_The scientist blanched. "Er…you get what I mean."_

"_Piece of cake. I press some buttons and let this thing float away. Easy."_

"_Just remember…once you input the coordinates, there's no going back," the scientist warned him. "There's no failsafe mechanism to stop the complex from moving once you've finalized the location, so wait until you're completely sure everything is ready before heading to Tear's Point. We don't want the Lunar Cry to start prematurely."_

"_Yeah, okay. Once I get there, do I press the doomsday button or something?"_

_The scientist did not look amused. "It begins automatically. This complex is way beyond our scientific capabilities and we still haven't begun to scratch the surface of its ultimate mechanisms - "_

"_Yeah, yeah, great," Seifer waved a hand. "So, basically, I just plug in a coordinate and sit back and watch the show?"_

_The scientist blinked at him. "In a word…yes."_

_Seifer crossed his arms and stared at the control panel. "Can't wait."_

_The scientist pointed to a small microphone. "This comms system has been set up so you can speak with the officials at the Lunar Gate. They have direct contact with the Lunar Base, so you can constantly get updates from them if you're ever wondering about the timeline or the speed of things. They have our itinerary and they're fully aware of what's going to happen, so everything should run relatively smoothly. Ellone is scheduled to leave the Lunar Base and arrive in Esthar within the next hour or so."_

"_I'll be at the Lunar Gate as well," Kiros added. "I'll talk you through it if there are any major issues. Once Ellone arrives, I'll take her to Laguna."_

_Seifer glanced at him. "Laguna? Why not just bring Ellone straight here?"_

"_He wants to oversee this operation personally. He'll bring Ellone to Tear's Point when it's time."_

_Seifer resisted the urge to roll his eyes. The fate of the world lies in our hands…and we're relying on a moron like Laguna…? Hyne help us._

"_Laguna is a war hero," Kiros added sternly, sensing Seifer's speculation. "Believe it or not, he's one of the best soldiers I've ever known. Don't take him lightly – especially when it comes to sorceress business."_

"_Yo! It is him, ya know? I'd recognize that ugly mug anywhere, ya know?"_

"_AMAZING."_

"_Hard to believe he made it all this way without his posse, ya know?"_

_Seifer turned around at the familiar voices and smiled. Fujin and Raijin had arrived with a Galbadian escort._

"_Fuj. Rai. Man, it's good to see you," he stepped down off of the platform and held out his hand, but Raijin grabbed his wrist and yanked him into a big hug._

"_It's been too long, ya know? Just how long did you think you were going to keep the secret from us, ya know?"_

"_INEVITABLE."_

"_We woulda found out sooner or later, ya know?"_

_Seifer chuckled and pulled away. "I guess you guys have figured it out, huh?" _

"_Headmaster Cid told us the situation, ya know?" Raijin beamed at Seifer, sticking out his chest as if he were proud. "Gee, didn't know you made it to SeeD, ya know? It's about damn time, ya know?"_

"_UNPRECEDENTED," Fujin smiled up at Seifer._

"_Yeah, we wish we woulda known sooner, ya know?" Raijin put his hands on his hips and grinned. "When this is all over, we need to throw a party, ya know?"_

_Seifer gave them a weak grin and nodded. …If I live through it, that is._

"_ORDERS?"_

"_Yeah, Cid told us to listen to whatever you had to say, ya know? We're a posse, ya know? We'll follow you to the end, ya know?"_

_Seifer nodded and looked down. "Well…the whole situation is…pretty fucked up, to be perfectly honest."_

"_OBVIOUS." Fujin crossed her arms._

"_That's for sure," Raijin nodded, looking around. "This place is creepy, ya know? I heard about it in class, but never really knew it was so big, ya know?"_

_Seifer nodded. "Did Cid bring you up to speed on what the fuck's going on?"_

"_ESTHAR. DEBRIEFED," Fujin nodded._

"_Yeah, Cid told us about you, then we went to Esthar to talk to the president, ya know? Had to keep a safe distance away from Edea's escort, ya know?"_

"_Edea's escort is in Esthar?"_

"_Yeah. Squall and them brought her to the science division, ya know? Cid said that she needed to get checked out by the doctors, ya know?"_

"_SHOCK," Fujin shook her head._

"_We didn't know that Cid's wife was Edea, who turned out to be your Matron, ya know? Pretty heavy stuff, ya know?"_

"_If Edea's escort is in Esthar, then we should get moving pretty soon," Kiros stepped down from the platform and nodded towards Seifer. "I'm going to stop by the presidential complex in the city, then I'll head out to the Lunar Gate. The scientists at the Lunar Gate will tell you when to begin, which should be within the next hour," he glanced at his watch. "If you have any questions, just use that," he motioned to the microphone. He turned towards Seifer and held out his hand. Seifer stepped forward and shook it._

"_Good luck, SeeD Almasy."_

_Seifer gave Kiros a brief nod._

"_If this works," Kiros grinned, "Esthar will be in your debt. I have confidence in you. Let's torch this bitch, once and for all."_

_Seifer nodded again and replied, "Sir."_

_Kiros nodded to Fujin and Raijin, then left the room, followed by several scientists. Seifer crossed his arms and watched him go._

_He had respect for Kiros Seagill…but it was anyone's fucking guess why Kiros looked up to a guy like Laguna Loire._

_Oh well._

_Raijin turned to Seifer. "So…what do we do now, ya know?"_

_Seifer sighed. "We wait until the Lunar Gate gives us the go-ahead. It'll only take a couple hours to get to Tear's Point. For now, you guys are just along for the ride until I need help."_

"_That's fine, ya know? The president gave us a quick debriefing about a sorceress up in space, and how we're all supposed to meet up with Squall's team real soon, ya know?"_

"_UNDERCOVER."_

"_Right…we're not supposed to let them know the plan…ya know?"_

"_I was going to talk to you guys about that," Seifer replied. "You have to pretend you're on my side…that I'm still a traitor. Don't say anything about Cid or time compression."_

"_That'll be easy, ya know?"_

"_It's going to be tricky since Squall's team will probably try – several times – to get up here and stop me. But it's really important to delay them until everything's ready…so if they're here early, you've gotta stall them until Ellone's in place and Adel the popsicle is thawed out," Seifer explained. "You'll probably have to fight Squall's team and run."_

"_EASY."_

"_Yeah, not like we've never done that before, ya know? We've had plenty of practice for that, ya know?"_

"_The hard part is that you've got to get Rinoa to me," Seifer added. "I'm sure she'll be with them…and I'm sure Squall's never gonna give her up. Either lure them closer in here or try to snatch her yourself. It's really important that she and Ellone are in here…safely…in order for this shit to go down right."_

_The last few scientists were shuffling out of the room and one of them motioned to the control panel._

"_The Lunatic Pandora has a strange shielding mechanism, which makes the complex practically impenetrable. It acts as a sort of flexible forcefield, so if there's an attempt to breach it, it will bounce back. If anything or anyone tries to attack it, the energy will just be absorbed, so no harm will come to it. However, if you want to lower the shield strength or turn the shields off altogether, just pull this lever." _

_Seifer nodded._

"_Once Adel is transferred to the crystal pillar via the Lunar Cry, you won't have to take any action," the scientist added. "The crystal pillar is relatively safe and she'll be frozen in hypersleep. On top of all that, she'll still be sealed in her prison, so the SeeD team should have a relatively easy time purging her."_

"_PURGE?" Fujin raised an amused eyebrow and snickered. "KILL."_

"_Yeah, Fuj," Raijin grinned. "You're speakin' my language, ya know?"_

_The scientist turned to Fujin and Raijin. "I'm assuming that you'll be defending this complex?"_

"_Yeah, but it ain't like we wanna maim 'em or anything, ya know? Just give 'em a nice whoopin', ya know?"_

_The scientist pointed towards the entrance, down the hallway. "We have a few remote-controlled prototypes that can patrol the Lunatic Pandora and act as scouts, if you'd like. They're located down the hall. They're still in beta so they're not military-grade, but you can use them for simple combat."_

_Raijin cracked his knuckles and grinned. "Sounds like fun, ya know? That'll surprise Squall, ya know?"_

"_CONVENIENT."_

_With that, the scientist nodded to them and said, "Good luck to you. It's in your hands." He turned and exited the room._

_Seifer sighed and stared out the window. "No pressure."_

"_Yo, Seifer, it'll be a piece of cake man, ya know?" Raijin pounded his chest. "I don't know about you, but I'm having the time of my life! Ain't many times SeeDs can say they saved the world, ya know?"_

"_ADVENTURE."_

"_Finally, ya know? Something worthwhile, ya know?"_

_Seifer glanced at them and grinned. Yeah. He glanced up at the Galbaidan soldiers that stood around, waiting for orders._

"_Listen up! You guys are under the command of these two," Seifer pointed at Fujin and Raijin. "This mission is very important, do you understand? We're going to kill ourselves a sorceress."_

_The soldiers straightened and saluted. "Sir!"_

_Seifer pointed to a soldier in red with a gold badge on his chest, indicating his rank. "What's your name, major?"_

"_Sir! Major Biggs, sir!"_

"_Biggs, take a small squad into the center of the complex, towards the crystal pillar," Seifer ordered them. "Guard it. Nothing comes in or out, got it?"_

"_Yes, sir!"_

"_If any SeeDs bust in here and try to disrupt our plan, give 'em all you've got," Seifer barked, knowing that even the best Galbadian solider couldn't stop a SeeD. "Wait until my signal to let them through. Until then, this place is off limits to them. Understood?"_

"_Sir!"_

_Seifer turned to Fujin and Raijin. "They're all yours, guys. You can go play. Spread 'em out so this place is nice and guarded."_

_Within the hour, the staff at the Lunar Gate gave Seifer clearance to input the coordinates and to depart to Tear's Point._

"_Where's Commander Seagill?" Seifer asked through the mic. "I want a confirmation from him."_

"_Commander Seagill is on his way from Esthar, SeeD Almasy," a voice replied. "He'll arrive within forty-five minutes. Don't worry."_

"_What about Ellone?" Seifer demanded. "Has she left the Lunar Base yet?"_

"_Ellone is scheduled to launch in T-minus-thirty-seven minutes. It will take the Lunatic Pandora a little over two hours to reach Tear's Point. Everything is going according to plan. You may proceed."_

_Seifer sighed and stared at the red launch switch. The coordinates had been entered and locked in. _

_Here goes nothing._

_A half hour into their ride, Seifer heard Kiros's voice over the intercom._

"_SeeD Almasy, this is Commander Seagill…do you copy?"_

"_Yeah, I copy," Seifer picked up the mic and stared out the window. "Shame you couldn't be here, Kiros. Damn good view I've got right now - "_

"_We've got a problem, Seifer."_

_Seifer swirled around and stared at the control panel. "What?"_

"_It's SeeD Leonhart," Kiros's voice replied. "He's left for the space station, along with Rinoa!"_

…_What?_

_Seifer blinked and his mouth dropped open. "Say again?"_

"_Squall Leonhart took Rinoa Heartilly into outer space. They're currently en route to the Lunar Base."_

"_What the fuck is he doing up there?" Seifer snapped. "That wasn't part of the plan! I thought he was in Esthar with Edea! Who the fuck gave him clearance to leave?"_

"_Odine did, right before I arrived."_

_Seifer shook his head and gaped at the microphone. "WHAT?!"_

"_Odine wasn't in the city when I got there…he had finished tests with Edea earlier than expected and went out to the Lunar Base. Squall and Miss Heartilly arrived shortly after and he let them through."_

_Seifer was so flabbergasted and angry he couldn't even speak. "What the…how in the…why…what the FUCK did he do that for?!?"_

"_I don't understand half the shit that Odine does," Kiros grumbled into the radio, "but Laguna's furious. Ordered him back to the city where we can keep tabs on him. We believe he just wanted to allow them up there as an experiment…some sort of strange test…I don't know. The man's deranged."_

"_Well, now what the hell am I supposed to do?" Seifer snapped. "The whole plan was to get Rinoa in here!"_

"_We're working on it," Kiros responded. "We're trying to get them to prepare a return launch as soon as Squall arrives at the base. Ellone is also scheduled to depart soon."_

"_Well, hurry the fuck up!" Seifer snapped. "I can't fucking stop this thing! Once the destination is programmed, it just…goes! It's not like I can use the fucking brakes," he growled into the intercom._

"_Stand by, cadet. I'll try to unravel this mess."_

"_Just tell them the plan and get his ass back here!"_

"_Stand by, Seifer."_

_Seifer ran a hand through his hair and slammed his fist into the control panel. "FUCK!"_

_Fujin and Raijin stood by, helpless._

"_Uh…yo, Seifer…anything we can do, ya know?"_

"_No, Rai. Just…hang tight. I'm going to fucking kill that old crackpot when this is all over," Seifer groaned._

_The minutes ticked by until they were over an hour into the ride. There was only one more hour to go._

"_Kiros…do you copy? This is SeeD Almasy. I'd like a status update…uh…now…if it's possible."_

"_Kiros here. Heartilly and Leonhart are still asleep en route to the Lunar Base. I'll notify you as soon as there's news."_

_An hour and a half into the ride, Seifer was growing extremely agitated._

_They're not going to make it on time. The Lunar Cry is going to start and they're not going to make it on time. We're fucked._

"_Lunatic Pandora to Lunar Gate," Seifer growled into the mic. "What the fuck?"_

_Five more minutes had gone by when Kiros's voice could be heard in response._

"_Kiros here. Stand by, Almasy…we're getting a hell of a lot of confusion here…"_

_Amid Kiros's voice there were other voices shouting in the background, as if they were all on microphones directing others what to do and where to go. A shrill beeping sound could barely be heard, but Seifer caught it. Something had happened. It was the sound of an emergency._

"_Say again?" Seifer barked into the intercom. "Lunar gate, do you copy? What's going on?"_

"_We've got a situation here. We're trying to work it out - "_

"_What the fuck are you talking about?"_

"_Someone's going berserk up in the Lunar Base…"_

"_What?!?"_

_No response. No doubt Kiros was busy trying to handle the mayhem on his end. Seifer felt the dread growing in the pit of his stomach._

"_Kiros!" Seifer barked. "Are you there? Tell me what's going on! The fucking Lunar Cry is about to start, and there are still people in that space station?"_

_No response._

"_Tell them all to evacuate NOW," Seifer yelled into the intercom. "Do you hear me? Kiros! I'm nearly in position, dammit!"_

_Fujin and Raijin stood behind Seifer, somber. The radio blared out panicked shouts and hurried evacuation orders that bounced off the walls of the empty complex. They were ten minutes away from Tear's Point and the sky was already growing a pale shade of pink. All they could do was stand there, helpless._

_It's all gone to shit, Seifer thought with dread. We've failed. We're dead. I've unleashed hell upon the whole world._

"_Almasy, do you copy? Are you there?"_

_Seifer snapped to attention and leaned forward, pressing the intercom button. "I copy. What the fuck is going on?"_

"_Rinoa's going out towards Adel to deactivate her seals," Kiros said through the radio._

"_What?!?" Seifer cried._

"_It seems that Ultimecia's driving her," Kiros replied. "There's nothing anyone can do up there…I've received several reports that there are already dozens of injured personnel…"_

_Hyne. This can't be happening. This can't be happening. What in the hell did Leonhart bring her up there for…? What in the fuck is she deactivating Adel's seals for…?_

_Fuck._

_Is Ultimecia trying to do a switch?_

_Did she force Squall to bring her into space? Did she know?_

_It didn't matter. The Lunatic Pandora was five minutes away from Tear's Point._

"_Odine said that Adel's prison was right in the line of fire of this Lunar Cry thing," Seifer barked back into the mic. "Get Rinoa out of there! She'll be dead if she doesn't move! Where's Squall? Can't he do anything?"_

"_I can't reach him!" Kiros answered back._

_Hyne. This. Can't. Be. Happening._

_Seifer slumped forward and ran a hand through his hair. The pink sky was growing darker._

_Seifer, Fujin, and Raijin all remained silent. Fujin reached over and gently put a hand on Seifer's shoulder. There was a short pause before anything was heard from the Lunar Gate._

"_Almasy, this is Kiros. Do you copy?"_

_Seifer shot up and grabbed the mic. "I'm receiveing you, Kiros. What the fuck do I do?"_

"_Ellone just got into an escape pod, but the Lunar Cry is causing some severe turbulence. Her landing projection is off."_

"_Where's she supposed to land?"_

"_The Lunar Gate, but it might be about ten miles south off course."_

_Seifer immediately turned towards Fujin and Raijin. "Guys – go and get her. Haul ass. Make sure she's safe and bring her back here as quick as you can."_

_They both nodded._

"_AFFIRMATIVE."_

_After they ran out of the control room, Seifer put his hands on his hips and sighed, looking up towards the ceiling._

_I can't take much more of this shit. I'm going to have one hell of an ulcer if I live through this. He glanced outside. The sky was turning into a deep magenta. The Lunar Cry had begun._

_Hyne._

_He stepped forward and gazed out the window. It was like looking out into another world. The sky was so dark and so ominous it felt as if he'd just triggered hell itself. He glanced at his own reflection. He couldn't even recognize the half-crazed, pallid, dirty man staring back._

_He leaned over the control panel and pressed a button. "Commander Kiros, do you copy?"_

"_Go ahead, cadet."_

"_I sent Fujin and Raijin out to retrieve Ellone. Any word on Rinoa or the space station? What about Squall?"_

_Silence_

_Seifer sighed, already knowing the answer. After a pause, Kiros finally replied._

"_I'm sorry, Almasy. We've lost contact with the Lunar Base. We fear the worst…"_

_Seifer hung his head and clenched his teeth. Was Rinoa dead? Was Squall?_

"_It's possible that Ultimecia transferred her consciousness from Rinoa to Adel when she went out to her prison," Kiros radioed back. "You still have to proceed with the plan, Almasy. Ultimecia might be coming straight to you. It's possible she's using Adel as a host. This might be what Odine was anticipating all along."_

_Seifer clenched his fists as the Lunatic Pandora began to rumble and shake from the Lunar Cry. "Yeah. Copy that."_

_Motherfucking Odine. I'll kill him. I'll kill him. Everyone to him is a specimen and not a human being. Son of a fucking bitch._

_He swallowed and looked down at his hands, not realizing he was starting to melt the metal of the control panel. The rumbling grew louder, and Seifer stood there helpless as the entire complex vibrated violently._

_We're all gonna die._

_An hour had passed._

_Seifer knew that somewhere out there, Fujin and Raijin were trying to retrieve Ellone. He hoped that they didn't have that much monster trouble, and he hoped that Laguna had sent out an adequate amount of troops to eliminate most of them. After pacing back and forth for what seemed like eons, Seifer gave up and was now sitting up against the base of the control panel, facing the hallway ahead, with a palm to his head._

_Squall…dead. Vaporized in space…? Or crushed like an aluminum can in the space station? Hyne. What an idiot. What a fucking idiot. _

…_I never did hate the guy. He had guts. He was smart. It's just that he was everyone's fucking pet…and why?_

…_Because he never talked? What was so cute about that?_

_Talk about ass backwards._

_He was always a bit emo. But at least he never bothered anyone. Never let me get to him. He put up a good fight._

_Fuck, Squall. Why did you go off into outer space? What in the fuck possessed you to do that? _

_Seifer gritted his teeth and sighed. _

_You didn't even die in fucking combat. What a model SeeD you are. Never could execute a fully successful mission, could you?_

…_I'll be so pissed off at you if I live through this. I risk my fucking neck so you can deliver the final blow, and this is how you fucking repay me? By dying in space?_

…_Asshole._

_He gritted his teeth and closed his eyes._

_Maybe he's the lucky one. It's good that he won't have to live to see this._

_Seifer sighed and examined his gunblade._

…_Who the hell am I going to practice with now?_

_He started to chuckle._

_Who am I kidding? My days in Garden are over. They've been over. Cid sent me on a suicide mission. There never was any going back. I was just too stupid to realize it. _

_His eyes began to sting, but he immediately blinked away the blurriness and forced Squall's death out of his mind. He turned Hyperion over and slammed it down, digging the tip into the ground and spinning it around by the hilt._

_I didn't think the end of the world would be this quiet._

_Although a sorceress was housed in the middle of the complex, and although thousands upon thousands of monsters were called down from the moon, it was dead silent inside the Lunatic Pandora, aside from the scraping sound the metal blade made against the floor._

_Seifer wondered if he could just go and kill Adel himself. Then there would be one less sorceress to worry about, and then who would Ultimecia jump to?_

_He closed his eyes and sighed._

_Oh yeah. I forgot. Anybody._

…_Someone like Quistis._

_He blinked and rubbed his eyes. You're drifting out of touch, man. Stay awake. Stay alert. No giving up yet. Remember your purpose…if your purpose still exists. You still have a job to do._

_Fuck, I need a cigarette._

"_Cadet Almasy, this is the Lunar Gate. Do you copy? I repeat…Kiros to Almasy…come in, Almasy…"_

_Seifer trotted up to the control panel and snatched the mic up. "Almasy here."_

"_Seifer! Seifer, how are you holding up?"_

"_I'm throwing a fucking party and Adel's the guest of honor," Seifer snapped. "What do you think?"_

"_This is important, Almasy. Adel's seal has been deactivated, so it's possible she could come out of hibernation within the next few hours or so. Is she awake? Has there been any activity?"_

"_No. I've got men keeping an eye on her, but so far there hasn't been anything out of the ordinary."_

"_We've been communicating with Dr. Odine and he's speculating that it's possible that Ultimecia's consciousness is still housed - "_

"_Tell him that the next time I see him - in this life or the next - I'm going to fucking run my gunblade straight through his fucking heart," Seifer growled. "He wasn't supposed to give the SeeDs clearance to go to the Lunar Base! What in the fuck am I supposed to do now that nothing is going like we originally planned - "_

"_Everything is still according to plan, Almasy," Kiros interrupted._

_Seifer rolled his eyes. "What do you mean? If you ask me, it's pretty shot to shit."_

"_We believe the sorceress is still inside Rinoa," Kiros replied._

_Seifer blinked. "What? How is that possible?"_

"_We don't think Ultimecia transferred out of her yet. Once she arrives - " _

"_Wait! What are you saying? She's alive?"_

"_She and Squall managed to board an old airship in the middle of space," Kiros explained quickly. "They're alive and well. Rinoa's headed to the sorceress memorial, ETA ten minutes or so."_

_Seifer slowly sat down in a chair and rested his head in his palm. Holy…fucking…shit…_

_Yep. Official. I have a raging ulcer._

_They're alive. Leonhart's alive._

_Seifer was surprised to find himself overwhelmed with relief. _

_Squall's alive. Shit. The fucking bastard is alive. He won't be alive for long. I am going to kill him the next time I see him._

_His relief was soon replaced with anxiety. "So you're going to send them on over here, right?"_

"_It won't be that easy. Rinoa's powers are unstable due to the fact that she's awake, and Ultimecia is still inside her - "_

"_Wait!" Seifer interrupted. "You mean she's not inside Adel?"_

"_We think so, although we can't confirm it. Odine wants to run a few tests in order to make sure - " _

_Seifer rubbed his eyes in frustration. "Has everyone forgotten that I just triggered the Lunar Cry with Lunatic Pandora, and there's a stone-age fucking sorceress caged in the next room? Didn't you say earlier that her seals were deactivated?"_

"_As long as Adel is still dormant, you should be fine," Kiros replied. "The Galbadian and Estharian soldiers are taking care of the monsters, and we're waiting on Leonhart's SeeD team to regroup."_

_Hyne. Locked up in Lunatic Pandora with another crazy sorceress. This just keeps getting better and better…_

"_So what do you guys have to do with Rinoa?"_

"_She's being transferred to the memorial," Kiros replied. "They'll seal her in a special facility and proceed to run some tests so we can find out whether or not Ultimecia resides inside her."_

"_That'll take too long," Seifer growled. "Who's running this fucking show, anyway? Loire or Odine? Lives are at stake and we don't have time to conduct any fucking science experiments!"_

_There was a pause on the other end._

"_Kiros? Do you hear me? Kiros, do you copy?"_

_Silence._

"_Fuck," Seifer swore and slammed his fist into the panel. He leaned over and sighed, running a hand through his hair._

"_Seifer? Everything all right?" Raijin slowly entered the room._

_Seifer snapped to attention. "Did you find her?"_

"_Ellone? Yeah, we did. She was pretty hurt, ya know? Fujin cured her, though. She's restin' now, ya know?"_

_Seifer sighed again. "Keep an eye on her, will you? Don't let her out of your sight. Keep a thick guard up. Don't let her wander, okay?"_

"_Yeah, sure, man. You doin' all right?"_

_Seifer set his jaw. "Fine. Just…don't go anywhere near the crystal pillar. It's in the middle of the complex. Stick to the outside walls, all right?"_

_Raijin nodded. "Sure thing, Seifer."_

_Seifer lowered his head and closed his eyes. _

"_Almasy, do you read me?"_

_He jerked to attention and grabbed the mic. "I'm here."_

"_I've contacted the President. He's sent Ward over to the Sorceress Memorial to try to intercept them. We'll let them know the plan about time compression. Hopefully you'll get some relief soon, Seifer."_

_Another hour had passed. Ellone was still resting, being guarded by Galbadian soldiers, and Fujin and Raijin were with Seifer, discussing their final itinerary. _

"_How's Ellone doing?" Seifer asked. "She's not freaking out, is she?"_

"_Nah, we took good care of her, ya know?" Rajin crossed his arms. "Fujin cured her and was real gentle, ya know? Even though I didn't know Fujiin could ever be that nice to someone - "_

"_LIES," Fujin narrowed her good eye. _

"_Anyway, Ellone knows that we aren't going to hurt her, ya know? We told her what we were planning to do…she said that she had this feeling that we would help her, ya know? And she was askin' for ya, ya know?"_

…_Sis was asking for me?_

_Seifer shook his head. "I don't have time to go see her. We've got to talk about other matters. Things are going to get really hairy once Squall's team busts in here and starts fighting. I don't want you two to stick around this place when that happens."_

"_NONSENSE," Fujin balled her fists angrily._

"_We'll stay here to the end, ya know?" Raijin crossed his arms. "We ain't gonna run, ya know? What kind of SeeDs would we be if we just left you behind, ya know?"_

"_I might be dead by then," Seifer replied bitterly._

"_IMPOSSIBLE."_

"_Yeah, there ain't no way you're dyin', ya know?" Raijin narrowed his eyes. "We'll die first before you do, ya know?"_

_Seifer grinned. "Thanks guys, but you won't be any good to me dead. You still have an important job to do. Even though Ellone is supposed to be here to help us with the plan, but no doubt Squall's team is going to think we kidnapped her or something. Just keep her safe. I don't want them trying to grab her and usher her out of the complex, because she has to be inside."_

"_UNDERSTOOD."_

"_At the right moment, though, I need you to make a break for it. Some major shit is going to go down in here and we have to leave that to Squall's team. We can't get involved. Got it?"_

_Fujin and Raijin looked hesitant, but Seifer ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "Promise me you won't stay here. In order for the plan to work you guys can't stay here."_

"_RELUCTANT."_

_Raijin sighed. "Sure, man. Whatever it takes to defeat the sorceress, ya know?"_

_Seifer nodded. "I'll give you a signal to hightail it out of here. I'll probably wave or make some sort of statement to tell you guys to leave. You'll know when to go. In the meantime, you've got to make it all seem real. You can't just release Ellone right under my nose in front of them without a reason. We're still keeping up the illusion that I'm on the wrong side, so you guys should make up something…pretend you're pissed off at me or something and then hand Ellone to Squall. She should know the plan."_

"_SIMPLE."_

"_Just leave that to Fujin, ya know? Believe it or not, she's a great actress, ya know?"_

_Seifer chuckled. "Yeah, sure. Just make sure you pay attention to my signal." _

"Fujin and Raijin told me that they were in on it, although they didn't know specifics" Squall nodded. "I guess Ellone knew, too?"

Seifer shook his head. "Ellone got a _crash-course_ about the time compression plan once she got back from the Lunar Base," he replied darkly, "no pun intended. I'm not naming any names, though."

Squall set his jaw and glared at him.

"She didn't know what role I had in the whole fiasco, but she knew that we weren't out to hurt her. Fujin and Raijin told her the jist of the plan and then Laguna filled her in once she left the room. Poor Sis. Probably confused as fuck. No wonder she's still in a coma."

Squall stepped forward with his fist curled, but Rinoa held him back.

"Haven't you ever wondered why Ellone never made a peep?" Seifer crossed his arms. "She probably could have dropped my ass to the ground with those weird powers of hers, but she didn't. Same with Fujin and Raijin. She knew what was going on."

"Same reason why you just…let them all go," Squall replied quietly. "…Not the actions of a madman."

Seifer curled his lip and snorted. "Yeah. Thanks. I'm flattered."

"_We've come to take back Ellone," Squall growled, gripping his gunblade tighter._

"_Looks like we've got company," Seifer smirked. He glanced at Fujin and Raijin and cocked his head towards Squall's team. "Show 'em your hospitality."_

_Fujin and Raijin hesitated. They glanced at Seifer, then glanced at Squall's team._

_Seifer narrowed his eyes. Come on, guys. Get the fuck out of here. "Well?"_

"_We had enough, ya know…" Raijin rubbed the back of his head, as if he was ashamed._

"_GO." Fujin released Ellone and ushered her towards Squall. She trotted towards the team and Squall uttered something in a low voice to her. She nodded and ran out of the room._

_Seifer set his jaw. So far, so good. He glanced at Fujin and Raijin and pretended to be annoyed. "Hey, hey…c'mon, people…"_

"_Seifer, we're quittin' ya know?" Raijin turned towards Seifer, curling his lip in anger. "Don't know what's right anymore…ya know?"_

"_Exactly my thoughts," Seifer replied darkly. "I thought we were a posse."_

"_POSSE…" Fujin trailed off and shook her head. "We are. We always will be. Because we're a posse, we want to help you. Whatever it takes to fulfill your dreams, we're willing to do. But…you're being manipulated, Seifer. You've lost yourself and your dream. You're just eating out of someone's hand. We want the old you back! Since we can't get through to you, all we have to rely on now is Squall! It's sad…sad that we only have Squall to rely on…"_

_The entire group stared at Fujin in astonishment. Even Seifer raised an eyebrow at her._

_Wow, Fuj. That was probably overkill. A simple QUIT would have sufficed._

_His gaze darted to Squall's team. They appeared surprised as well, but remained on guard. Squall seemed a little insulted._

_As long as they believed her._

"_Fujin…Raijin…it's been fun!" Seifer saluted them with his gunblade and winked at them darkly. With a short nod, they both trotted away towards the entrance of the Lunatic Pandora. Seifer turned and glared back at Squall's team, setting his jaw and gripping Hyperion tighter._

_This is it._

"_Are you going to continue with this knight thing?!" Squall barked at Seifer angrily, holding his gunblade out in front of him._

_They had all lined up on the opposite side of Seifer, inside of the Lunatic Pandora control room, watching him. The team was astounded and horrified at what they saw before them. Seifer's grey trenchcoat was tattered and dirty. Brown splotches of old bloodstains could be seen throughout the fabric. Dark circles were under his eyes and his face was drawn. They could all tell that he was tired and on edge. They were staring at a shell of the old Seifer…the only thing left was a complete madman._

_He glared at them in anger and his green eyes glinted with malice. He curled a lip at Squall and the corner of his mouth turned up into the slightest sneer._

_He never did lose that cocky, arrogant attitude._

"_The knight has retired," Seifer replied. "I guess you could call me a young revolutionary now."_

_Squall shook his head in disbelief. "What do you think you're doing?!"_

"_Come on, Squall, you know me," he chuckled bitterly. "I've always gotta be doing something BIG!" Seifer's tone grew strained and his brows furrowed. "Do you hear me? I don't want to stop! I'm going to keep running!"_

_Quistis shook her head and stepped forward, about to say something, but Seifer lifted his gunblade and pointed it at them, silently warning them to stay back. The maddening gleam in his eyes returned._

"_I've come this far. I'm going to make it to the end, to the goal!"_

_Everyone remained silent, appalled at what they were seeing. There wasn't anything Seifer said anymore that made much sense. One of their own, a fellow soldier, had turned twisted and warped. A sorceress's puppet. A plaything. She broke him, and it broke their hearts to see Seifer broken._

"_Seifer…!" Quistis choked out. "Can't you hear yourself?!"_

"_There's no way I'm sharing my goal with you," he snarled at them all, readying Hyperion._

_They had no choice. They had no choice but to brandish their weapons and fight him. Even Squall looked hesitant._

_They could fight an enemy. They could kill a traitor. But it was becoming more and more evident that Seifer wasn't even in his right mind anymore._

_Could they kill him?_

_Sensing their doubt and hesitation, a guardian force took it upon himself to fight instead._

_The air suddenly grew thick and everything around them seemed to dim ominously._

_Squall looked around. No. No! Not yet!_

_The soft clip-clop of horses's hooves could be heard in the distance, and Odin slowly apparated behind them, forcing them to step aside and watch helplessly._

"_The weak shall perish. The strong shall triumph."_

_Seifer narrowed his eyes._

_Odin steered his horse towards the front and glared straight ahead at the enemy before him. Reaching over to his side, he pulled out his blade and held it out, steadying the horse and readying his attack._

_The two opponents watched each other for a split second. To Quistis, it felt like eternity. She wanted to cry out and protest, but she couldn't._

_The horse screamed a whinny, reared, and Odin readied his blade, flipping it around. With a flick of the reins, his horse charged and Odin raised the sword…_

_Seifer hardly moved. With one swift flash, the guardian force suddenly dissipated in two upon reaching him and Seifer was left standing there, holding Hyperion in the air. He took a deep breath and lifted his eyes towards the group._

_They all stared at Seifer in utter shock._

"_O-Odin!?" Squall choked out in surprise._

_Seifer narrowed his eyes and glared at them. "I'm not going down that easy." He held out a hand and crooked a finger towards them, grinning darkly. "Show me what you've got, Squall! Let me add another scar to that pretty face of yours!"_

_Squall gritted his teeth and his knuckles turned white as he gripped his gunblade tighter._

"You faked being unconscious," Squall said quietly. "I should have realized that something was amiss…that even though you destroyed one of our most powerful GFs, you couldn't win against us. You had the capability to really hurt us…but even then, even after we'd laid it on thick, you just took it."

Seifer didn't respond.

"Why didn't you defend yourself?"

"I had to make it look real," Seifer replied. "I couldn't just pass out after Chicken-wuss gave me a few jabs. I'm not _that_ much of a fuckin' sissy." He gave Squall a malicious grin. "I wanted to make you _work_ for your fake victory."

"Do you know how much we were hurting about that, Seifer?" Rinoa asked gently.

Seifer shrugged. "Good to know you didn't want to chop my head off," he narrowed his eyes at Squall. "Tying me up wouldn't have done a whole hell of a lot of good, though. Nice idea, Pueby."

_Rinoa bowed her head and hugged herself as she sadly looked at Seifer's crumpled form. She let out a sigh._

"_Seifer…"_

_Not wanting to look at him anymore, she closed her eyes and turned away, walking towards the inside of the complex. Squall crossed his arms and stole a glance at Quistis. She was averting her gaze elsewhere, but her eyes were red._

_It's over._

"_What do we do with him?" Irvine asked quietly. "We can't just…leave him."_

_Squall ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "We'll tie him up and leave him in the Ragnarok for now. He can't do much damage in there. We'll deal with him later. We have to keep moving if we want to find Adel."_

_Irvine nodded._

"_I'll get some rope," Selphie volunteered. "There should be some on board."_

_Quistis nodded and followed Selphie wordlessly._

_Irvine slowly walked over to the steps and sat down with a groan. "Shit. I need a cigarette. Or better yet, some chewin' tobacco." He plucked off his hat and ran a hand through his hair, then he examined Exeter and started to load new shells into the barrel._

_Zell shook his head and glanced down at Seifer. "Man…talk about fucked up."_

_Squall nodded silently._

_Yeah._

_They quietly waited for the girls to return with some rope. Zell slowly paced around with his arms crossed, kicking aside pieces of rubble from the burn craters and cracks that were created from the fight. Irvine sat quietly on the steps with his head in his palm, staring at the floor. Squall stood over Seifer, watching him every now and then and keeping an eye on the doorway._

_Rinoa hasn't come back yet…_

_It was possible she went with Selphie and Quistis. She didn't want to be in the same room as Seifer, and that was understandable. He'd betrayed them all. He betrayed her. She was sad to see him in such a state. Squall knew she wanted to be alone, but he was somewhat uncomfortable with the situation. He didn't want to let her out of his sight. She was a sorceress now. It would be better if she wasn't even inside the Lunatic Pandora, but she'd insisted to come along._

_Squall sighed and turned away from the doorway._

_He stopped and looked up. He was face-to-face with Seifer._

_Immediately, the blinding pain erupted in his skull as he whipped sideways and fell to the ground. Seifer had punched him. Hard._

"_H-hey!" Zell turned around and bellowed out. Irvine immediately scrambled up and cocked the gun, training it on Seifer._

"_Not yet!" Seifer barked, pointing Hyperion at Squall's throat, forcing Zell and Irvine to freeze. He glanced down. "It's not over yet, Squall!"_

_He turned and sprinted out of the room. Pieces of the doorframe shattered from Irvine's shell, barely missing Seifer, and Irvine swore out loud. Zell rushed to Squall's side._

"_Squall! You okay?"_

_Squall shook his head to make the ringing in his ears stop and he spat blood. "Yeah. Fine."_

_Zell held his elbow, helping him up. Irvine walked up to them and loaded another shell._

"_We have to follow him, before he - "_

_A shrill scream echoed out into the complex._

_Squall let out a breath. "No…! Rinoa!"_

_The three of them darted out of the room and nearly ran into Quistis and Selphie._

"_Squall! Seifer's got Rinoa! We tried to stop him, but - "_

"_No, no, no!" Squall growled, running down the hallway. "Dammit! DAMN IT!!!"_

"And then…it started," Rinoa said softly.

"…Yeah," Seifer replied. "It did."

"_Seifer, please," Rinoa choked out in a panicked voice as Seifer half-dragged her towards the room Adel was being held in. "Seifer, stop - "_

"_Just shut up," he snapped. "Keep quiet and do as I say and it'll all be over soon."_

"_No!" Rinoa cried, frightened. "Don't do this! You know you don't want to do this!"_

_Seifer set his jaw and remained silent._

"_Seifer, please," Rinoa's lip quivered and she clutched at his hand, trying to release his grip from her arm. "This isn't you. I know this isn't you! You don't have to listen to her! You don't have to go through with this!"_

_Seifer grit his teeth and didn't answer._

_Squall's and Zell's shouting grew louder as they ran through Lunatic Pandora, trying to catch up. They were shouting and bellowing threats that bounced off of the walls and echoed, but Seifer wasn't paying attention to what they were saying._

"_You're scaring me," she sniffed. "Please just let me go!"_

"_I can't," he replied in a low voice. His stride didn't slow and he continued to tug her along. "There's no going back."_

"_Yes you can! We can help you! Just…just let me go, and we can - "_

"_I said shut up!!!" Seifer growled._

"_Seifer, stop! Stop it! Haven't you done enough?" Rinoa cried. "I know you're not like that!"_

"…_Can't go back now," he grunted, staring up at the crystal pillar. They were getting closer to Adel. She was hideous and mutated from all the magic – a she-sorceress trapped in a monster's body…_

"…_I can't go anywhere," his voice cracked. He glanced down at Rinoa and clenched his teeth. "The sorceress as one! That is Ultimecia's WISH!!"_

_With a shove, Rinoa stumbled forward and fell to her knees at the foot of Adel's prison, which seemed to expand as she leaned forward slowly to examine the piece of flesh that had been brought before her. Seeing the potential in Rinoa, Adel struggled to reach forward, breaking the magical seals of the prison._

_Rinoa recoiled and let out a shrill scream._

_Seifer backed away and watched in horror as Adel grabbed Rinoa with one hand, as if she was a rag doll, and used a strange magic to fuse her to her torso. _

"_Rinoa!!!" Squall, Irvine, and Zell ran into the room, ignoring Seifer, and readied themselves for battle. Adel let out a haggard laugh and Rinoa screamed again._

_Seifer slowly backed away and turned to leave the room._

_It's up to you now, Squall. I hope to Hyne this works._

Squall, Seifer, and Rinoa all stood around the quad, silent. Squall had crossed his arms and stared at the floor. Rinoa swallowed and looked sad, as if she were reminiscing back on that day. Seifer stood with his arms crossed as well, his gaze darting back and forth from Squall to Rinoa.

"So…now you know," he said. "That's what happened. That's why I did it."

"Rinoa had originally promised to take over Adel's powers once she was destroyed," Squall said in a quiet voice. It was still an accusation, but his case was growing weaker and weaker as he said it.

"Squall. Admit it. You didn't even want Rinoa anywhere _near_ Lunatic Pandora."

Squall gritted his teeth, knowing that Seifer was right. _I'd asked her to stay in the airship…but she wanted to come with…_

"It wouldn't have happened if I wasn't right there, in front of her," Rinoa nodded sadly. "Seifer's right, Squall. In the end, he did the right thing."

Squall remained silent.

"Well, this has been very cleansing for me emotionally," Seifer added in thick sarcasm, "but if you don't mind, I'd like to be left the fuck alone. I've been answering questions for two weeks straight and I'm pretty Hynedamned tired of it." Turning around, he gave them a small wave and started to walk down the dormitory wing. "Feel free to talk amongst yourselves. If you have any more questions for me, you can kiss my ass. Wait until my military tribunal where my balls will be publically skewered instead."

Squall glared after him and remained silent, while Rinoa watched with a sad expression. They looked at each other and there was a long pause before Rinoa reached up to squeeze his hand. Squall looked down, sighed, and started to walk towards his room slowly, Rinoa at his side.

* * *

**Author's Note:** If anyone points out that I missed a 'z' or a 'v' when editing Odine's dialogue, too bad. I'm NOT going back over it again - it's too much of a pain in the ass. Also, for some reason, my italics are running into other words and skipping spaces, so I've tried to edit that as much as I could.


	14. Realizations

**_"Sights and sounds pull me back down another year_**

**_I was here...I was here..._**

**_Whipping past the reflecting pool, m_****_e and you skipping school_**

**_and we make it up as we go along,_**

**_We make it up as we go along..."_**

_"Gold Dust"_ by Tori Amos

* * *

It had been two days since Seifer last saw Quistis, and he was in a terrible mood. The military tribunal was coming up. Fujin and Raijin were nowhere to be found, suggesting the fact that they were on a mission and hadn't bothered to tell Seifer about it. Forcing up the painful story about the Lunatic Pandora – especially to Squall and Rinoa – hadn't helped, either. Now, he couldn't stop thinking about what had happened. He was angry at himself for not taking the initiative to go talk to Quistis, but she was acting strange and had been too busy to contact lately. Zell was all over the quad playing kissy-face with what's-her-name since they seemed to officially be a couple now – Seifer wanted to gag and wish he'd never even done such a dumbass thing in his whole life like set Chicken-wuss up – and Selphie was even more cheerful than before, if that was even possible. Every time she saw Seifer, she'd go out of her way to smile and wave and ask if he wanted to help decorate. He always brushed her off and growled that he had better shit to do.

Oh, yes. He was in a _very_ bad mood. He was flat-out fed up with this shit. There was only one place to go.

Dr. Kadowaki was humming to herself as she tidied up the clinic. After opening the blinds, she checked the equipment and picked up some paperwork to file away when she halted in her tracks and looked up at a tall blonde standing in the doorway.

"Why, Seifer! I wasn't expecting you to drop by. Have you been injured in the training center?"

Seifer remained silent and shook his head.

Dr. Kadowaki cocked her head. "Is there something I can help you with?"

Seifer crossed his arms and remained in the hallway entrance, opting not to come into the infirmary completely. There was just something about doctor's offices and hospitals that he hated.

"Yeah. What's the matter with Quistis?"

Dr. Kadowaki blinked. "I beg your pardon?"

"It's been over two months and she can't remember shit about the Lunatic Pandora."

"I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't use that language, Seifer."

"And what's the prescription for?" Seifer asked, ignoring her request. "Why is she still having nosebleeds?"

Dr. Kadowaki raised an eyebrow. "You know about her condition?"

Seifer remained silent.

She sighed and placed the paperwork on her desk, removing her glasses. "For most people, severe trauma normally causes a specific type of amnesia, or nosebleeds, or both, like a blow to the head or something of that nature. I haven't been able to pinpoint anything correlating to that effect with Quistis, but I have my own theories."

Seifer raised an eyebrow. "Any of those theories have to do with me?"

Dr. Kadowaki furrowed her brows slightly, looking interested. "Now why would you think that, Seifer?"

"Because I saw her right before time compression. I talked to her. And she's the only one that's got amnesia. Everyone else is fine."

Dr. Kadowaki nodded and let out a soft chuckle. "Hm. I don't care what they say about you. You're one smart cookie."

Seifer narrowed his eyes.

"To answer your question…in a word, yes," Dr. Kadowaki replied. "Her encounter with you right before time compression must have altered her environment somewhat - "

"You mean that it backfired," Seifer interrupted. "I screwed things up."

Dr. Kadowaki shook her head slowly, thinking of the right words to use. "Not necessarily…especially since it was unintentional…"

Seifer nodded and rolled his eyes. "Yeah. My fault. Again. Big surprise."

"Now, Seifer, wait just a minute," Dr. Kadowaki held up her hands. "Quistis has been making significant improvement since her sessions with you. I believe that any day you could trigger a memory - "

"Was she assigned to me so that would happen?"

Dr. Kadowaki paused and examined him, wary of her answer. Instead of looking angry, however, he looked surprised.

"…Partially so, yes. However, it was Cid's decision to do this way before I had any say in the matter, and this was before I knew how extensive her symptoms were." Dr. Kadowaki paused to think. "In a way…you were both assigned to each other. Cid believes – as do I – that it's the best course of action to take."

Seifer looked at the floor. "Hm."

"Quistis isn't the only one, Seifer," Dr. Kadowaki reminded him. "Ellone is in the exact same situation, except she's still comatose. Although I'm sure the specific details will not be elucidated upon until the military tribunal, she was probably in a similar encounter before time compression. Squall had explained to me that he and Rinoa managed to end up at Edea's orphanage because they had both promised each other to meet there. They had to focus their consciousness entirely on that one thought, that one time, that _one spot_, in order to get there. I believe that Ellone had no time to think or to focus – nor did Quistis – during the time compression phenomenon. It explains why their physical bodies returned to Esthar, but their minds did not return as quickly."

_Hrm. Yeah. Ellone didn't really know what was going on…she just sort of did what we told her to…_

_But I told Quistis to come back. I told her where to go. I warned her. Why didn't she listen?_

…_Because she thought I was fucking nuts, that's why._

Seifer glanced at Dr. Kadowaki. "Why is Ellone's case so extreme?"

Dr. Kadowaki sighed and shook her head. "I can only speculate…but I think most of us can agree it's because of her unusual abilities combined with the lack of information that was given to her about time compression in the first place."

Seifer readjusted his posture and chewed the inside of his cheek. "My fault too, eh?"

"Of course not, Seifer. Nobody's fault. Ellone wasn't even on this _planet_ until a mere hour before time compression started. Don't begin to blame yourself."

Good point.

"Why the sudden concern, Seifer? Is Quistis doing all right?"

Seifer nodded and looked away. "Yeah. Just curious, I guess."

Dr. Kadowaki blinked and sat down slowly. "…She's not taking her medication, is she? Has Quistis had a nosebleed recently, Seifer?"

Seifer didn't reply. Dr. Kadowaki shook her head and sighed.

"I suspected as much…I wasn't really expecting Quistis to follow that prescription I gave her. You SeeDs always were adverse to medications."

Seifer shrugged, although he silently agreed.

"The prescription was just to help stop the bleeding," Dr. Kadowaki continued, "but I suppose it won't stop what actually causes the nosebleed in the first place - "

"What causes it?" Seifer asked. "And what will stop it?"

"Time compression was a very strange phenomenon that Squall's group encountered – only they were able to physically transfer themselves through time. No one else. The entire process, to say the least, is extremely unnatural and probably put an enormous toll on them physically as well as mentally. While the rest of us were temporarily put into a deep sleep, they travelled to and from different places in time – with the help of Ellone. As I said before, their return encountered some…" Dr. Kadowaki put a finger to her chin, "…turbulence. They all had to return mentally and physically. While their bodies were geographically displaced, so were their minds. Think of it as their mental state being left behind."

"So the nosebleeds are from the memories being ripped out of the body?"

Dr. Kadowaki smiled. "I wouldn't put it as brutally as that, but yes…the nosebleeds are the side effects from time compression. So is the fatigue and vertigo. Overexertion or stress can cause the symptoms to occur more frequently. Eventually, the mind fully returns, but it can take awhile. It can come back in one fell swoop, or it can come back in fragments. It appears that Quistis still has a few lost…puzzle pieces, so to speak."

"How do I get her to remember, then?"

Dr. Kadowaki sighed and shook her head. "Only time will tell, Seifer. Something may trigger the memories, or they'll just come back on their own. I can't tell you when or how long. That's the real question. We can't anticipate how long the amnesia will last. It differs from patient to patient."

"Does she even know that she's missing memories?"

Dr. Kadowaki shook her head again. "I'm afraid not."

"Can't I just tell her, then wait until she remembers?"

"We have to treat these symptoms just like we would with an amnesiac," Dr. Kadowaki shook her head. "You could tell Quistis what she has forgotten, yes, but you'd run the risk of completely and utterly confusing her. Confusion to that extent could really upset her. It could cause panic and unnecessary stress…and, of course, if she doesn't remember, it would have all been for nothing."

Seifer sighed.

A soft chime from the intercom system interrupted their conversation and diverted their attention to the small speaker inside the ceiling. A digital recording of a woman's voice cooed:

'_Seifer Almasy, please report to the Headmaster's office. Seifer Almasy, please report to the Headmaster's office.'_

Seifer gave Dr. Kadowaki a curt nod and turned to leave the infirmary.

"Don't give up," Dr. Kadowaki called after him. "There's always a chance you could help her remember something, Seifer, by just being there for her."

_Yeah. Sure. Whoopee._

Seifer didn't respond and headed out to the quad, walking towards the elevator that led to Headmaster Cid's office.

…_The hell does Cid want now?_

The sinking feeling in his gut, however, told him that it was most likely about the tribunal. A few months earlier, he hadn't been very worried about it. He knew it'd be a political circus…but now that it drew closer, he was beginning to feel anxious. What if…he was actually going to be sentenced? He didn't exactly follow Cid's orders without getting blood on his hands. He'd killed people…and for what? To protect the Headmaster's wife?

No. To protect someone else.

Well…technically…to protect everyone…

"Yo, there he is! Hey, Seifer!"

"TERRIBLE."

"Ya got that right, Fuj! Seifer, you look like shit, ya know?"

Seifer glanced up with a grin, seeing Fujin and Raijin standing near the stairwell heading up to the elevator. Fujin was grinning with her arms crossed, while Raijin had his hands on his hips and gave Seifer a goofy smile.

"Probably because I didn't get to go on a mission with you assholes," Seifer retorted. "I've been bored out of my fucking mind here."

"UNFORTUNATE."

"Yeah, we asked Cid if you could come along, ya know? But he told us that he wanted you to stay here, ya know? Besides, we figured you'd want some more time with Instructor Trepe, ya know?"

"PROGRESS?"

Seifer glared at them, his smile disappearing. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Raijin sighed and seemed to deflate, poking Fujin with his elbow. "I don't think he told her yet, ya know?"

Fujin stared Raijin down with her good eye. "OBVIOUSLY."

"Where the fuck have you two been?" Seifer crossed his arms, changing the subject.

"Ah, been meaning to tell ya, ya know? Cid sent us to Esthar, ya know?"

"ELLONE."

"Yeah, he wanted us to check up on Ellone's condition, ya know?"

"Did you see her?" Seifer asked, suddenly concerned. "How is she? Is she awake?"

"AFFIRMATIVE."

"Fujin caught a glimpse of her as the door to her hospital room opened, ya know? I didn't get to see how she was doing - "

"Is she all right?" Seifer repeated the question.

"She was up and talkin' to President Loire, ya know?" Raijin answered. "Fujin told me that she looked a little pale but that she was smilin' and laughin', ya know?"

"RECOVERING," Fujin nodded.

"Yeah," Raijin nodded. "Commander Kiros talked to us and said that she was fully awake, had all her memories, and wanted to see you and Squall and everyone else. Said that Garden should come and visit soon, ya know?"

"Was that were you were all this time?" Seifer asked. "Checking up on Ellone in Esthar?"

"Ah, no, we were also supposed to deliver something to Cid from the President, ya know?" Raijin replied. "Dunno what it is, ya know? A buncha letters and files that are s'posed to be confidential, ya know? We made a stop over in FH as well, since Galbadia Garden's stationed there, and we had to give Martine a buncha files too, ya know?"

Seifer set his jaw. _They're prepping for the tribunal. I knew it._

The soft chime from the intercom system repeated._'Seifer Almasy, please report to the Headmaster's office. Seifer Almasy, please report to the Headmaster's office.'_

Seifer sighed. "I gotta go, guys. This shouldn't take too long, so I'll see you around, all right?"

"Yo, we'll be in the cafeteria, ya know? I'm starving, ya know?"

"GLUTTON," Fujin shook her head.

Seifer chuckled and entered the elevator. It rose to Cid's office with a soft ding and he walked up to the door, knocking softly.

"Come in."

Seifer walked in and closed the door behind him, silently thankful that Edea wasn't anywhere nearby. Cid was sitting at his desk, immersed in paperwork.

_Probably the files Fujin and Raijin just delivered._

He stood at attention and saluted. "You wanted to see me, sir?"

Cid looked up and smiled, removing his glasses. "Yes, Seifer. At ease. I wanted to talk to you about your upcoming tribunal. It's scheduled a week from tomorrow."

Seifer felt his gut tighten. "Oh. Great."

Cid chuckled and waved a hand. "It won't be a big ordeal, don't worry. Obviously it's required so we can provide answers to the rest of the military world - "

"They're going to try to place the blame on Garden," Seifer refuted. "Or they'll demand that I be kicked out and stripped of my rank. There's no way I'm going to walk out of this clean – they're going to want bloody, gory justice."

"Now, Seifer - "

"Half the damn world thinks I'm a complete nutcase," Seifer motioned with his hand, "not to mention that I was the one to start judgment day on purpose."

"Seifer, nobody knows the details of the Lunatic Pandora event besides the top officials of Esthar and Galbadia - "

"That information will only be kept top secret for so long," Seifer cut in. "Everyone's going to want to know why they were slapped into a coma - "

"Which will be explained upon the interrogation of Squall and his team, along with Dr. Odine and President Loire, about the plan to destroy Ultimecia," Cid reminded him gently.

Seifer snorted once he heard Odine's name.

"Seifer, you forget that you have three high-profile military leaders backing your story one-hundred percent. Martine, General Caraway, and President Loire all support you. They've all helped you achieve the Lunar Cry, for Hyne's sakes. The tribunal is a necessary measure to clear up a few things – especially with Trabia – but like I've said before, it's nothing to worry about. We've all written up reports for the panel, so they'll know what happened. They won't ask you any questions that would make you – or Garden, or Esthar, or Galbadia, for that matter – a public mockery, nor would they divulge anything deemed top secret that could cause a public uproar."

After a pause, Seifer glanced up. "Will Matron be safe?"

Cid put his hands in his pockets and sighed, giving him a brief nod. "Yes. I believe so. She no longer has her powers and Dr. Odine can provide that information to the panel if necessary. Although…I want to leave her out of it as much as possible. She's already been through enough. It would only make things worse if she were there. She wishes to remain confined within the walls of Garden for now."

"What about Rinoa?"

Cid sighed again. "Rinoa is another matter. I've informed General Caraway that she is with us, so he knows she's safe, but nobody knows of her…" Cid cleared his throat, "…condition. Not even the other students. Only you, me, Edea, Squall's team, and Laguna's administration know of Rinoa's situation. I don't believe it would be wise to tell anyone else. At least…not at this time."

"Doesn't it sort of defeat the purpose of SeeD if we house a sorceress in Garden?" Seifer asked flatly.

Cid crossed his arms. "No. On the contrary, we can protect Rinoa by keeping a close eye on her. Remember that Edea had her powers ever since she was a young girl. She was not a threat until Ultimecia appeared. Just because those powers have passed to Rinoa doesn't mean she should be condemned and quarantined. I believe everything will be fine, now that Ultimecia is gone."

Seifer shifted his feet, remaining silent.

After a pause, Cid cleared his throat and spoke up again. "The tribunal will be held in Esthar, so remember that you'll be on allied soil. Nothing will happen to you, Seifer. You have my word."

Seifer let out a sigh.

The hum of the elevator outside of Cid's office came to life as the doors suddenly slid open and Squall stepped through. After shooting a glance at Seifer, he straightened and saluted at Cid.

"You wanted to see me, sir?"

"Ah, Squall. Excellent timing. We were just talking about the military tribunal, scheduled to be in Esthar next week."

Seifer glanced at Squall with wary confusion.

Squall ignored him and stared straight ahead. "Sir."

"Are you still willing to testify on Seifer's behalf?"

Squall gave Cid a curt nod. "Yes, sir."

Seifer's jaw slightly dropped.

"There should be nothing to it," Cid waved a hand nonchalantly. "President Loire will give you the full report and bring you up to speed on the events leading to the Lunar Cry - "

"That won't be necessary, Headmaster," Squall replied rigidly.

Cid raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Have you already been briefed on the events in detail?"

Squall hesitated. "…More or less, sir."

Cid cast a glance towards Seifer. "I see. Still, I think it would be best to hear the administration's report, especially since you're going before the panel. You should have all the information at hand."

Seifer saw Squall's jaw muscles flex. "Yes, sir."

Upon watching Squall's reaction, it was evident he didn't want to meet with Laguna. _Poor bastard, _Seifer mused. _Dealing with a guy like Loire must be torture to a guy like Squall._

"It will be a cut-and-dry procedure," Cid continued, "so I expect you to answer the questions truthfully, to the best of your abilities. I assure you that the panel will not throw you any curve balls or try any tricks in order to purposely trip you up or directly accuse you in any way," he eyed Seifer, "so don't be apprehensive about the whole process. It's a necessary requirement for all Gardens to fulfill, regardless of the circumstances. Do you have any questions?"

The SeeDs shook their heads rigidly.

"Furthermore, this tribunal involves both SeeD special forces and militaries from several countries, making it the first worldwide military committee," Cid continued.

"Oh, fuck," Seifer closed his eyes.

Cid glared at him. "I beg your pardon, Seifer?"

Seifer cleared his throat. "Nothing, sir."

"This is an extraordinary step towards achieving peace throughout nations," Cid declared sternly. "This is a _good _thing. The committee has formed in response to the worldwide threat that was Ultimecia, and its members will strive to work together to prevent such threats in the future. If the Second Sorceress War taught us anything, it's to combine forces to eliminate evil. Esthar had closed its borders and Galbadia had started to expand its territory in response to the First Sorceress War, which obviously did not work. Thus, we believe it's time for a change – don't you agree?"

Seifer set his jaw and stared straight ahead, nodding curtly. "Sir."

Cid glanced at a sheet of paper. "Squall, Quistis, and Xu will be the Balamb SeeDs present on the roster to testify. In addition, Martine, his second-in-command Zavier, and I will be representing Garden. President Loire and Commander Seagill will be there as well, representing Esthar, and General Caraway will be the Galbadian representative. The newly formed panel will consist of two members from the Dollet Dukedom Parliament, two members of the Trabian council, one official from Esthar, and two members of the Galbadian senate." He glanced at them from over the rim of his glasses. "They are all military veterans, survivors of two sorceress wars, and they know exactly what is at stake here," he reminded them in a soft, yet stern tone. "I expect you to be on your best behavior and to answer their questions with respect. I will reiterate this important fact once again; they are not out to condemn you. Do I make myself clear?"

The SeeDs nodded briskly. "Sir."

"Any other questions?"

"Sir…" Seifer glanced at Squall and cleared his throat, unsure if he should be saying anything at all. There was a long pause as he hesitated. "…Do you think that…Quistis is the right person to be testifying - "

"I have no doubt in my mind," Cid interrupted sternly.

"Yes, but sir, she isn't exactly ready for - "

"Ready for what, soldier?"

Seifer set his jaw and didn't answer. The Headmaster was a very gentle, patient man – but when his decisions were challenged or even questioned – especially when it came to his children, the top-trained original orphans – he wouldn't hear it. Seifer hadn't meant to question Quistis's abilities, nor Cid's trust in her. But…

He looked up at him and gave him a stubborn stare. "She doesn't remember everything, _sir_."

Squall's eyes darted from Seifer, to Cid, back to Seifer again, curious about the exchange.

Cid removed his glasses, sighed, and stood up. "Well then, you'll just have to _help_ her remember, won't you?"

Seifer set his jaw and stared straight ahead. "Sir."

"Anything else?" Cid looked at both of them.

They both stiffened and shook their heads curtly, remaining silent. However, Squall shifted his feet and looked at the ground for a bit, looking anxious, as if he were trying to conjure up the words to say something. Seifer watched him out of the corner of his eye. He'd seen that look before.

'_I gotta do my best, or else I won't be able to see Sis.'_

Seifer suddenly stepped forward. "Permission to see Ellone, sir."

Squall glanced up at him, surprised.

Cid blinked, mirroring Squall's surprise. After a pause, however, he chuckled. "Found Fujin and Raijin, have you?"

Seifer didn't reply.

"No need," Cid responded. "Since we're heading to Esthar next week, you'll be able to see Ellone once the tribunal is closed."

"She's awake?" Squall stepped forward.

Cid nodded. "Awake and recovering quite well, from what I understand. Elle's a resilient little creature. She's been safely quarantined in an undisclosed location – more for her protection than anything else – but she's fine. She's been asking about all of you."

Squall let out a soft sigh, looking relieved.

"We depart for Esthar in twenty-four hours," Cid nodded to them. "The awards ceremony will also be held a day after the tribunal, and we're expecting President Loire to attend, along with Ellone if she's well enough. It should be a joyous occasion for everyone. You should be proud of your achievements."

The two SeeDs remained silent.

Cid nodded to them and sat back down. "I'll brief you on any updates as the date draws closer. That is all. Dismissed."

They saluted and left Cid's office silently. The two entered the lift quietly and waited in tense silence as it slowly brought them down to the main floor.

After a long pause, Squall spoke up. "…Thanks for that."

"For what?"

"Asking about Ellone."

Seifer shrugged. "Never _could_ do anything without Sis holding your hand," he grumbled.

Squall crossed his arms but remained silent.

After another pause, Seifer added, "So, what are you doing all _this_ for?"

"All what?"

"You know. The tribunal shit. Testifying. Why even bother?"

It was Squall's turn to shrug. "I don't know. Because."

Seifer rolled his eyes and snorted. "Sure you're not doing it to impress daddy Caraway?"

Squall narrowed his eyes at him. "No, that's not the reason. Would you rather have Zell step up to the panel?"

_Good point. _Seifer remained silent.

There was a long pause. Squall swallowed. "What…did you mean…when you said that Quistis wasn't ready?"

Seifer looked away and didn't answer.

Squall examined him. "Is she all right?"

Seifer rolled his eyes and glared at him. "Oh, I forgot – you bozos haven't bothered to notice, have you?"

Squall set his jaw. "We haven't seen her around - "

"If she was really that important to you, you could've checked - "

"I knew she was busy with _you_," Squall snapped. "I wanted to leave her alone. Fucking _sue_ me if she's been unavailable all this time, giving you her undivided attention."

Seifer blinked at Squall, somewhat surprised at the response. It had almost sounded like jealousy. There was another long pause.

"You told Selphie that Quistis was sick – is she?" Squall asked quietly.

"Fuck, is there _anything_ that girl doesn't gossip about?"

"Is she?" Squall demanded.

Seifer crossed his arms and sighed again. "No…she's just…she's still having symptoms. She doesn't have all of her memories yet."

Squall narrowed his eyes. "…It's been two months."

Seifer glared at him. "No, really?"

"Why hasn't she told us?" Squall looked away, asking the question more to himself than Seifer.

"Maybe she realized that dumping her problems on you wouldn't make a fucking ounce of difference," Seifer retorted nastily. "Just like last year."

Squall glared at Seifer with his jaw flexed. Seifer could see the glint of hurt in his eyes.

The elevator chimed and the doors slid open, revealing the main floor. Seifer stepped out first and made his way down the steps when Squall called after him.

"How are you going to get her to remember?"

Seifer snorted and continued walking, not looking back. "No fucking clue." He headed towards the girls' dormitory wing, deciding to skip the cafeteria trip. He'd talk to Fujin and Raijin later. Right now, he was too busy pondering how in the hell he could jog Quistis's memory – without pissing her off.

He sighed. _Who the hell am I kidding? I always piss her off, even when I'm not trying to piss her off._

He knew he had to try something, though. Anything. Avoiding it wasn't going to do any good.

Dr. Kadowaki had said it herself – that they were assigned to each other. Seifer was probably assigned to Quistis to help trigger her memories, and Quistis was assigned to Seifer so she could help him with his temper. Or help him cope with his wartime experience. Or some shit like that.

Seifer would never admit it, but spending time with her _had _helped. He was less inclined to get into random fights and his short temper had diminished. His extreme patience was something he'd learned during his time with Edea and commanding the troops, but the anxiety and raw anger that had usually accompanied it had diminished. It was like at the orphanage – he was less inclined to be wreckless and angry and cause trouble when Quistis was around.

When she was adopted, there was nobody to check his anger. Not even Matron. It was as if he fought everyone on purpose constantly to get Quistis back. If he caused enough trouble, no doubt she'd come running back to scold him.

But she never came. She'd found a new family.

Then, as if by some miracle, she came to Garden. He'd had her back. It was like old times again.

Until the SeeD field exams. She and Squall junctioned GFs…and she forgot about him.

He lost her twice. He wouldn't fucking lose her a third time.

He knew that by sitting down and talking to her civilly about it wasn't going to work – they were at it for two solid weeks and she hadn't remembered a thing. He was done with the simple chats. There was really only option left. The only option he was really good at. Using force. He'd force her to remember by triggering another fight. He had to have been on the right track, at least, a few days ago. If he had triggered her nosebleed, then maybe she was getting closer to remembering.

He could give two shits about the tribunal, really. Cid had assured him over and over again that everything would be fine, and the few memories that Quistis was lacking wouldn't interfere with her testimony. She'd already heard the bits she needed for the trial. However, he knew he could use the tribunal as an excuse to yell at her.

He wasn't exactly looking forward to another fight, nor did he want to cause another nosebleed, but he'd waited long enough.

Ellone was better. It was high time Quistis had all of her memories back, too.

He wanted to know her feelings, once and for all.

He raised his knuckles and knocked on her door.

Shuffling could be heard on the other end, and the door slid open to reveal Quistis dressed in casual civilian clothes – a white tee and jeans – standing there barefoot with a book in her hand. No surprise, her hair was up, but he gave her a once-over anyway. Those jeans were low-rise and he saw a bit of midriff -

"Seifer!" Quistis blinked at him in surprise, looking slightly pleased.

Seifer looked up and gave her a nod. "Hey, instructor."

Her smile disappeared and she immediately stiffened. "What do you need?"

He blinked at her, somewhat offended at how she already seemed annoyed with him. "Uh…the tribunal is coming up."

"Yes, I know."

"So…" He motioned with his palm.

She raised an eyebrow. "So…?"

He set his jaw. "Can I come in?"

She nodded and stepped aside. After she closed the door behind him, she called over her shoulder, "Are you worried about what's going to happen? We've got all your bases covered, Seifer - "

"Not quite," he interrupted, crossing his arms. He hadn't bothered to sit on the couch this time.

She turned to him and put her hands on her hips. "What do you mean?"

"Are you testifying?"

She nodded and slowly walked into the sitting room. "Yes, I am. Squall is too - "

"Are we supposed to be finished with the mental evals, or what?" Seifer asked. "Did you have to turn in a worksheet to the Headmaster or something?"

Quistis shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose, forcing herself to remain patient with his interruptions. "Um…I haven't quite finished my report - "

"Where have you been the past two days, anyway?" he asked her.

She turned pink and looked away. "I…I had to think, that's all. I wanted to spend some time by myself."

Seifer raised a curious eyebrow at her.

"I've also been in meetings with the Headmaster about the trial - " she continued.

"If you haven't finished your report, then you'd better get cracking, Trepe."

She narrowed her eyes at him.

"Do you remember where we left off?" he asked.

She let out an impatient sigh. "Of course I do. You went to Esthar to speak to Laguna's administration. Why are you so eager to get back to this, anyway?"

"Because there will be holes in your report if we don't finish."

She stared at him, confused. "I thought we _were _finished. Weren't you done with your mission once you reached sanctuary in Esthar? Didn't they grant you clemency, or some form of immunity?"

"No," he put his hands on his hips and stared at the ground. "I wasn't done yet."

She blinked. "I don't understand."

"I kept going."

"What do you mean you kept going?"

"I kept fighting."

"Fighting? Fighting who? When?"

He was too impatient to sugar-coat it any longer. Screw what Dr. Kadowaki said. He'd tell her outright.

"What do you remember about the Lunatic Pandora?"

Quistis blinked. "What?"

"Answer the question."

"Where is this coming from?"

"It's not rocket science, Trepe. Answer the question."

She crossed her arms defensively and narrowed her eyes at him. "Okay. Fine. I remember that it caused the Lunar Cry. I remember that it nearly killed Squall and Rinoa. I remember flying on the Ragnarok with Selphie at the wheel and nearly throwing up after we bombarded the place. I remember fighting your Hyne-damned dynamic duo - "

"What do you remember about me?" Seifer interrupted her, growing impatient.

"What _about_ you?" She held out her palms and shook her head. "Where are you going with this?!"

"Remember what I said!" his voice grew louder.

"Remember _what?!_" she shouted back, giving him an incredulous look. "What are you _talking_ about?"

Seifer swore and ran a hand through his hair.

She shook her head and stared at him, utterly confused. "Seifer…what is going on with you? What does this have to do with the tribunal?"

"You don't remember," he shook his head and looked up at the ceiling. "What good will your testimony be if you don't even fucking know what you're talking about?"

Quistis glared at him. "I beg your pardon?"

"You heard me."

"You're not making any sense."

"Neither will this bullshit tribunal if Cid puts you up there in front of the panel - "

"Seifer, enough with the smartass comments and just explain yourself!"

Dr. Kadowaki was right. He'd tried…and failed. Quistis was more confused than ever, and now the whole thing would just result in unnecessary bickering. He was starting to get agitated.

_Might as well keep trying. She's already mad._

"Hyne, I can't believe this shit," he grumbled. "My ass is on the line and you've got amnesia - "

"What?!"

" – now you've gotta go before an all-star panel and testify on my behalf - "

"Seifer, what did you just say about me? That I have amnesia?"

He glared at her. "Yes!"

She gritted her teeth and let out an angry sigh, narrowing her eyes. "Oh, so you're so worried about your own well-being that you have to threaten me with a phony diagnosis - "

"I'm not worried about the _trial_," he snapped at her.

"Oh yeah? Doesn't seem like it," she snapped back.

"I'm trying to get you to remember - "

"Sounds like you're trying to cover your own ass at all costs," she interrupted angrily. "Why am I not surprised?"

"Why do you think you've been having the nosebleeds?" Seifer barked at her, suddenly angry. "Come on, Trepe! Put two and two together! Why the fuck do you think Fujin and Raijin were at the Lunatic Pandora? They follow me _everywhere_. Why can't you just remember?!"

Quistis stared at him, looking hurt and confused. "I…"

"Why do you think that after two months, you're still having nightmares? Why hasn't anyone else been experiencing these symptoms, Trepe?"

Quistis shook her head and closed her eyes, turning around to hide the burning tears that were beginning to form. She'd avoided him because she was confused about her own feelings, and to have him suddenly show up and yell at her wasn't helping. She wasn't expecting this. She couldn't tell if her feelings were hurt from his slicing remarks, from the fact that it was possible she couldn't remember something, or both. Was it true? Did she really have amnesia? Was she really missing crucial memories? But…memories of what?

"It can't be," she murmured. "I…I remember the Lunatic Pandora. I remember fighting Ultimecia. I was _there_. I remember all of it - "

"_Wake up_, instructor," Seifer snarled. "Open your fucking eyes and look around! How many times do we have to go over the fact that - "

Quistis whirled around, the anger in her face suddenly draining into pale surprise. "Stop! What did you just say??"

Seifer narrowed his eyes at her. "What?"

"That sentence you just said…those words…"

"…the hell's wrong with you?"

"Just say it again!"

Seifer blinked at her, suddenly realizing what had just happened. She stepped closer to him and put her hand on his arm, looking up at him with a desperate look in her eyes.

"Please."

Seifer set his jaw and sighed, looking at the floor. Her touch was searing. The look in her eyes was even worse. He felt an enormous surge of hope, but he was hesitant to say anything. He didn't want to meet another blank stare; that look that she always returned that let him know she had absolutely no idea what had happened two months ago.

Quistis stared at him, pleading. "Seifer…"

He lifted his head and held her gaze. In a soft tone, he replied, "Wake up, instructor."

Quistis blinked and something in her chest froze.

Just like that, something clicked back into place. A flood of cold realization washed over her and she felt her knees buckle. It was like something lost inside of her was suddenly found, but it had been gone for so long it became foreign and unfamiliar. She blinked and stepped back, a furrow deepening in her brow and her jaw slightly dropped.

Seifer's eyes remained locked on her.

She stared at him in confused astonishment.

_Had it been him…all this time…?_

_Quistis and Selphie were sprinting through the Lunatic Pandora, struggling to catch up with Irvine, Zell, and Squall. Once they all found out that Rinoa had been taken by Seifer, Squall wasted no time to go after her. He, Zell, and Irvine had run far ahead of Quistis and Selphie towards the central area of the giant complex. There was already loud shouting that bounced off of the eerie, iridescent blue walls, which twisted and turned into a maze as the girls tried to follow them. It didn't sound good. Quistis ran harder._

"_Hurry!" Selphie cried. "I can hear them! This way!"_

_The screams and shouts tangled into a loud, echoing, melancholy sound. _

"_Seifer, let go of her! Get your fucking hands off of her!" Squall's voice echoed out._

"_You're fucking crazy, man! Get away from her!" Zell's voice echoed out next._

"_I'll do it, Almasy," Irvine's voice growled. "Don't try me! Don't think I won't take the shot!"_

_Hyne, no, Quistis thought. What is Seifer trying to do? Seifer, please. Don't hurt anybody._

_The yelling and shouting seemed to ring in her ears as she desperately looked around and followed Selphie down the correct route. Rinoa's cries were mingled in with the boys' loud bellows, but for the briefest second, everything was disturbingly silent. Only Quistis's and Selphie's breathing could be heard. They were nearing the portal that led to the room everyone else had gone into. The silence was chilling._

_And then Rinoa's shrill scream made Quistis and Selphie stop in their tracks. Something had gone completely wrong._

"_No!" Squall cried out._

"_Shit, Squall! What do we do, what do we do?" Zell's voice sounded panicked._

"_I can shoot her!" Irvine barked._

"_NO! Don't take the shot! You might hurt Rinoa!"_

"_Quistis, come ON!" Selphie yelped. She turned to sprint through the portal and in doing so, knocked right into Seifer._

_He paid no attention to her as he was exiting the room, looking around wildly with Hyperion unsheathed, swinging it dangerously around. He passed right by Selphie as she gave him a startled glance, then she looked back and forth from him to the room he'd just come out of. Choosing to help her friends rather than fight him, she decided to ignore the dazed Seifer and ran into the large room._

_Quistis froze as Seifer's gaze trained on her. He was breathing hard, looking panicked, and as soon as he locked eyes with her, he immediately advanced._

_Quistis automatically took two steps back and grabbed at Save the Queen, unraveling it for a strike. But Seifer was acting strange. He didn't strike a defense stance, nor did he seem ready to attack. He kept walking, and he was getting closer. His stride was too big. If he kept going at this rate, he'd bowl right into her._

_Quistis held up a shaky hand and snapped her whip as a warning. "Stay back, Seifer!"_

_Ignoring her, Seifer dropped Hyperion with a loud clang, strode right up to her, and grabbed her arms. His grip made her wince and she tried to wrench free, but her efforts were incredibly weak due to utter surprise and fear. She clenched her fist, which had started to glow a bright blue, and she was ready to triple-cast blizzaga, but the look on his face troubled her. It wasn't like anything they'd seen before when they had to fight him. And he dropped his gunblade; a sign of submission._

_She swallowed and tried to step away, looking up at him with a startled look on her face. "What are you - "_

"_Listen to me," he growled harshly. "Any minute, they're going to beat Adel in there, and you – listen to me!!!"_

_Quistis's attention had darted to the portal where her friends were as soon as Seifer had said 'Adel,' but Seifer wanted her to pay complete attention to what he was going to say. He shook her roughly and stared hard at her._

"_Seifer, let go of me or - "_

"_You have to listen," his voice grew low, "this is important. Do you understand?"_

_Quistis blinked at him in utter confusion. He's finally lost it._

"_Once Adel is destroyed, Ultimecia is going to use Rinoa and time compression is going to begin with Ellone's help," Seifer explained quickly. "You'll all be lost in time and space."_

_Quistis narrowed her eyes. How did he know about the plan?_

"_Once you kill Ultimecia, you have to remember," Seifer's grip grew tighter. "You got that, Quistis? You have to come back to this place. You have to remember something. Anything at all. Remember this place. Remember me."_

"_What…?"_

"_Look, it doesn't make any sense now, but just do it, okay?" Seifer's voice grew into a desperate plea._

_All Quistis could do was stare at him in bewilderment._

_Seifer cocked his head towards the doorway. "Go in there and help them. Go."_

_With that, he let her go and picked up Hyperion. Quistis continued to stare at him, trying to register what had just happened._

"_Seifer…?"_

_He sheathed the weapon and glanced at Quistis. His hard features slightly softened into something else…the wild, sharp, bloodthirsty look she'd seen in his green eyes had been replaced with a tender softness…almost like regret…longing…he was tired and he was in pain…_

_He stepped forward and put a hand on her arm. Gentle. Controlled. He leaned in and she saw his eyes study her face with an intensity she'd never seen before. This time, she didn't pull away._

"_Remember what I said, Quistis. Come back to this place. Come back to me."_

_Quistis stared at him in shock, unable to speak. The look in his eyes was completely disarming, and a rushing feeling mixed with exhilaration and utter confusion swept through her chest. His tender gentleness frightened her even more than his raging anger, but she was frozen with astonishment._

"_SeeD Almasy!" a voice echoed out in the Lunatic Pandora. "Are they ready?"_

_Seifer tore his gaze away from Quistis and turned around to face Ellone and Laguna. "They're in there," he replied gruffly, cocking his head towards the other room. "It's almost time."_

_Quistis's mouth dropped open in utter confusion. A thousand questions bombarded her all at once, and she couldn't muster one word._

…………_SeeD Almasy??_

_Before she could find her voice, Laguna and Ellone rushed past her and Seifer turned and walked down the corridor swiftly, his heavy footsteps echoing off of the pale blue walls of the massive complex. He glanced back at her one last time before exiting the large room. Quistis blinked and her mouth dropped open, then closed._

_What is going on???_

_Loud gunshots and a strained scream, followed by a horrible, haggard laugh, snapped Quistis back to attention and she swirled around, suddenly reminded about Adel and Rinoa._

_She looked back, but Seifer was already gone. Turning again, she started to run towards the portal that led to the shouts and screams. She looked back one last time and swallowed._

_Seifer…_

Quistis put her hands to her head and closed her eyes. "Seifer…you…you tried to warn me…?"

Seifer remained silent.

"You were there…in the Lunatic Pandora…" Quistis rubbed a palm to her forehead and shook her head, trying to make sense of her new and sudden memories. "And…"

Her dreams…her dreams were jumbled words and whispers of…Seifer's voice…

"Your voice…I kept hearing you…I kept hearing you, over and over…"

Seifer crossed his arms and stared at the floor.

"The hospital," she breathed. "You were there, weren't you? You were talking to me...it wasn't a dream...it was real..."

"_Yo, Seifer, man, Headmaster Cid's been lookin' for ya, ya know?"_

"_DEBRIEFING."_

"_He needs to talk to ya, ya know? He's up in President Loire's office and they'd like to be brought up to speed on a few things…"_

"_Not right now," Seifer rubbed his face and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm gonna stay a bit longer."_

"_You don't look so good, ya know? Maybe you should rest, ya know?"_

"_SUSTENANCE."_

"_Yeah, maybe you should get something to eat, ya know?"_

"_I'm fine," Seifer grumbled. "I'm just tired, that's all."_

"_This hospital is kinda creepy at night, ya know? Are you sure you'll be fine all by yourself here?"_

_Seifer glanced behind him. Chicken-wuss let out a loud snore every now and then, but he doubted he'd have to worry about a punch in the kidneys. He slid around on his stool to face the bedside he'd been guarding all day and half the night. Quistis was still in a coma, still unconsciously locked somewhere, lost in time. Lost. There was no way he'd leave her alone. Not for Cid. Not for that fuckface, Laguna. Not at 0100 hours, anyway._

"_Yeah, I'm good, Rai. You guys wouldn't mind getting me some grub though, would you?"_

"_NEGATIVE."_

"_Nah, we don't mind, Seifer. And we'll go tell Cid that you're too tired to see him, ya know?"_

"_Yeah. Thanks."_

_Raijin stepped up and put his hand on Seifer's shoulder. "She'll be all right, ya know? Instructor Trepe's a tough one, ya know?"_

_Seifer nodded. "Thanks, Rai, but I already knew that. Now get outta here."_

_Raijin trotted off to go grab some hospital food, but Fujin strayed behind. She cast a quick glance at him and murmured, "SOOTHE."_

_With that, she turned and followed Raijin down the long hallway. The hospital wing was quiet after that, with only a few murmurs from the nurses accompanied by quiet footsteps, sweeping fabric, soft beeps of heart rate monitors, and Zell's snores._

_Seifer leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and hung his head, staring at the plastic identification band that had been snapped around his wrist. The staff hadn't yet discharged him, so he was not yet able to recover his gunblade or any of his original clothes, but Fujin and Raijin managed to snag him some baggy sweatpants and an old t-shirt. He looked like shit. He felt like shit. But he wasn't going to remove his numbing ass from the uncomfortable stool until she stirred. He glanced up and watched her. The doctors had bandaged her arms and wrists from the magic burns she sustained from the fight with Ultimecia, and tiny bandages were patched onto her cheek to close up a cut. After administering a few cura spells, however, Quistis remained in good shape._

_He reached out and touched her hand, his fingertips brushing against her knuckles. A needle had been inserted into her veins and taped down at the top of her wrist, and he gritted his teeth at the sight of it. His gaze traveled up her bandaged arm to her chest, which slowly rose up and down from her breathing. Her hair was down and spread towards her shoulders in matted tangles. The nurses had managed to wipe up the dirt from her face, but they weren't able to wash and comb her hair. Not until she woke up._

_Seifer had found Kiros earlier that day and asked where she was found._

"_On the outskirts of the city," he'd replied. "South of here, towards the airstation. Some of my troopers found her."_

"_Was she with anyone else?" Seifer asked._

_Kiros shook his head. "I'm afraid not. Your comrade, Zell Dincht, was found on the eastern shore, next to the Lunatic Pandora lab. Nobody's quite sure how they all got scattered around…"_

_Seifer had stopped listening. It was by lucky chance a few Esthar soldiers managed to find Quistis in that desolate field, bruised and battered and unconscious. What if they didn't see her?_

_Seifer clenched his jaw and refused to think about it. _

_Hyne, Quistis. I tried to tell you. I tried to tell you so you would know how to get back…_

_He leaned closer and gently moved a strand of hair away from her cheek. He almost grinned._

_I wonder what she'd do if she found out that her hair clip was gone. Probably freak the fuck out. I've never seen her with her hair down before…_

_His knuckles grazed her cheek and he used a thumb to softly caress her temple. If there was some way to get her to wake up…_

_Fujin had told him to soothe her. He wondered…_

_Seifer slowly stood up and leaned over the bed._

"_Quistis," he murmured. "Can you hear me?"_

_The heart monitor remained steady. So did her breathing._

"_Quistis."_

_Silence._

_Seifer continued to caress her cheek and leaned closer. "Remember what I said. Come back to this place."_

_Silence._

"_Wake up, instructor."_

_The screen that was monitoring brain-wave patterns jumped with the slightest bit of activity – the slow, green line twitched for a second – but Seifer didn't notice it. He sighed and sunk back down to his stool, slowly reaching over to hold her hand. He lowered his head and let it rest against the cold, metal frame that was propped up around her bed._

_Come on, Quistis. Please wake up._

_He remained there all night and almost all morning, coming and going to refill a few cups of shitty hospital coffee and munching on a donut or hash brown, but he wouldn't leave her alone for long. His gaze kept traveling up her saline drips to the brain-wave monitor, but it had remained relatively flat. He'd wanted to talk to her, but what could he say? Besides, with Zell sleeping right next to them, it felt a little odd. His words were personal, and he sure as hell wasn't about to inadvertently say anything to an unconscious Chicken-wuss._

_One time, however, he leaned over Zell's bed and said, "You're an ass."_

_His gaze flicked to the brain-wave patterns. Nothing._

"_I'm going to find a permanent marker and draw a huge dick on the other side of your face."_

_He glanced back up to the monitor. Nope. Zell was officially brain-dead._

_What the fuck else is new?_

_The hours rolled by and no progress had been made. At least on Quistis's side._

_A snort, a grunt, another snort, and some movement made Seifer turn around. The monitor started to beep loudly and a few nurses rushed to Zell's bed._

"_Doctor! We're receiving some activity! He's waking up!"_

_The resident M.D. down the hall lifted his attentions from another hospital bed and strode forward. "Good. I want a sedative ready."_

"_Yes sir."_

_Seifer stood up and raised an eyebrow in amusement, crossing his arms and stepping back to watch the show._

"_Guards! You'll probably need to hold this one down."_

"_Roger."_

"_Sedative ready, doctor."_

"_Mister Dincht, can you hear me?"_

_Zell's legs instinctively kicked out from under the hospital blanket as he jerked awake. "Huh? Wha? What's going on? What is this? Where am I?"_

"_Try to relax, Mr. Dincht," the doctor replied in a bored tone, loading a syringe with a clear liquid._

"_How do you know my name? Huh? Where am I? Where's Squall? Where's my team? Did we get her? Is she gone?"_

"_Please, sir, try to relax - "_

"_WHO ARE YOU? GET OFFA ME! WHERE IS EVERYONE?"_

_Seifer snickered, wondering if he was this out of it when he first woke up. He walked towards the foot of Zell's bed and leaned to the side, peeking out from behind a nurse. He gave Zell a cheerful grin._

"_What's up, Chicken-wuss! Welcome to my playground!"_

_Zell's eyes grew bug-eyed and his face immediately grew red after seeing a grinning Seifer stare back at him. Seifer thought he could see veins pop out of his neck. _

"_NOOO! NOOO! WHAT'S HE DOING HERE! I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU! I'LL KILL YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH! TRAITOR! LEMME GO! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! IT'S HIM! I'LL KILL HIM!"_

"_You're in an Esthar hospital, Mr. Dincht," an Esthar soldier held down a leg as another one rushed in to hold down one of his arms. "You're safe here."_

"_THE HELL I AM! HE'LL KILL US ALL! LEMME GO! I'VE GOT TO STOP HIM!"_

"_There, there," the doctor jammed the needle into Zell's outstretched arm calmly, obviously having practiced previously with Seifer's outburst. "Settle down, it'll be all right…"_

"_UNNNGGGGhhhgh…I don't…dude…I'm gonna hurl," Zell suddenly grew limp and glanced around groggily. A nurse, who had also been anticipating this, picked up a bedpan from under his hospital cot and held it in front of his face, where Zell began vomiting into it._

"_Oh, damn," Seifer recoiled, but started to laugh. "That's fucking gross, Chicken-wuss. Hyne, you're such a wimp."_

"_Seifer…" Zell's head bobbed and he started to slur his words. "Kill you…fuckin…gonna…die…"_

_Seifer laughed harder. "What did you eat before you went into time compression? Shit!"_

_Before he could muster another threat or an angry glare, Zell slumped back and started to snore. A nurse wiped his mouth with a wash cloth and the other nurse hurried away with the bedpan. Seifer held his stomach and bent over, trying to control his laughter._

_Something blipped on Quistis's brain pattern monitor, but it was gone within seconds._

"_Was that really necessary, SeeD Almasy?" the Esthar doctor cast an annoyed glance at him as he walked around the beds. "In his state, he didn't need any more overexertion."_

"_And pass up the opportunity of a lifetime?" Seifer chortled between laughs. "Hyne, I wish I had a camera on me. That was priceless."_

_The doctor shook his head, checked Quistis's chart, then started to walk away. Seifer immediately sobered up._

"_Hey, doc!"_

_The doctor turned around with a quizzical glance._

"_So…" Seifer cocked a head towards Quistis's bed. "How is she?"_

_The doctor shook his head. "She's the same, cadet. I'm sorry, but it could take some time."_

_Seifer crossed his arms and set his jaw as he walked up to the foot of her bed and glanced down._

"_SeeD Almasy," a familiar voice called out to him and echoed off of the high walls of the hospital wing. Seifer glanced up to see Kiros heading towards him. He sighed._

"_I'm overdue, I know," Seifer shrugged. "I'll head up to President Loire's office shortly; I just wanted to - "_

"_The others have been found," Kiros interrupted him._

_Seifer blinked in surprise. "They have? Where?"_

"_SeeDs Tilmitt and Kinneas were found way up north, by Trabia," Kiros replied. "SeeD Leonhart and Miss Heartilly were found at Edea's orphanage. Don't ask me how they got there or why, because I don't know."_

_Seifer turned and glanced at Quistis. How did Leonhart…? And why did Quistis…? And what the fuck was messenger girl doing in…?_

_Fuck it. He was too tired to try to figure out why they'd come back on separate continents._

"_Yeah, all right. So, who's going to go pick them up?"_

"_The White SeeD ship scouting the area found Heartilly and Leonhart, so they offered to drop them off at Fisherman's Horizon," Kiros said. "Cid knew that you were down here watching over SeeDs Trepe and Dincht, so he sent a message to let you know that he already took Balamb Garden to pick up the two SeeDs in Trabia. He said he'd meet you in Fisherman's Horizon, and then everyone could head back here."_

_Seifer shook his head._ _"I can't just leave them here."_

"_They're in good hands, Almasy. Our doctors will look after them until you return."_

_Seifer cast a forlorn look at Quistis._

_Yeah, but…_

_Kiros followed his gaze. "If she wakes up, would you like me to tell her that - "_

"_No, forget it," Seifer shook his head and looked down. "It's not important." He slapped Kiros on the arm and grinned. "I need something to do, anyway. I'll head out with Fujin and Raijin this afternoon."_

Quistis closed her eyes and tried to focus. "I woke up in Esthar…but you weren't there…Zell was already awake…they told us that Garden would pick us up soon…"

"I went to Fisherman's Horizon to rendezvous with Balamb Garden," Seifer told Quistis quietly. "We were also waiting for the White SeeD ship to drop off Rinoa and Squall."

_Seifer stared at the little red-and-white bait ball as it bobbed in the ocean. Apparently no fucking fish in the entire sea was hungry._

_His thoughts traveled to Quistis. Again. Shit. How long had it been now? Everyone was awake except for her. He sighed. He, along with Fujin and Raijin, were still waiting for Cid to come and meet them in Fisherman's Horizon. Only one day had gone by and Seifer was already going absolutely stir crazy._

_I thought Timber was bad. I changed my mind. This port is even worse._

_The mayor was rude to him because of the debacle with Galbadian soldiers, and hardly any of the townsfolk talked to him. When they saw him walking down the wooden planks, flanked by Fujin and Raijin, the bystanders would immediately run into their shops and homes to hide._

_Couldn't say he blamed them._

_There was one old codger, however, sitting in a boat and selling fishing tackle with a few mediocre rods. Seifer, about to lose his mind from boredom and thinking about Quistis all day long, asked the old man what in the hell they did for fun around here._

_The old man chuckled. "Why, we fish! What else?"_

_Seifer glowered. Fish in Fisherman's Horizon? Wow, I don't think I could have ever figured that out on my own. Thanks for clearing that up for me, gramps. Hyne forbid this town had anything else…like fucking technology. _

"_You look like you've already been baited and hooked, son," the old man grinned up at him._

_Seifer curled a lip. "Uh…what?"_

"_You need something to take your mind off of her."_

_Seifer narrowed his eyes. "Whatever. I need three fishing rods and some bait. How much gil do you want?"_

_Now he was sitting on the edge of a dock, one elbow draped over his knee, staring at the bait ball. Thinking about Quistis. Again._

_I hope she's okay. What in the hell happened that she's not waking up? Did Ultimecia do something to her? What if it was something I said…? Was it because I warned her, and not the others…and it backfired? Wait…was that a bite? Did I just get a…no, false alarm. Fuck you too, fish. This is the. Most. Boring. Thing. I have ever done. Hyne, I could've sworn I asked gramps what they did for fun around here. Apparently I asked him what the hell they did that would make them want to commit suicide. No wonder these people are recluses. I can't believe I'm sitting here, trying to catch a nonexistent fucking fish, when I could be there when she wakes up. This is fucking pathetic. I thought we were in Fisherman's Horizon? If you name a town after fish, don't there have to be fish in the town? How do these people make a fucking living if there's no damned fish in the sea?? At this point, I might as well dive in there and catch it with my bare hands…_

"_Woo-hoo! Hey! Hey! I think I got one! I think I got one! Heeeyyy, I got one, ya know? Wow, look at how big it is, ya know?"_

_Seifer's eyes practically rolled to the back of his sockets as he closed them, opened them, and turned around to glare at Raijin._

"_Look at it, Fuj! Ain't it cool? This is my first fish, ya know!"_

"_QUIET," Fujin warned him as she stole a glance at Seifer's dark scowl._

"_We can cook this up and eat it tonight, ya know? Although, I don't know how to gut a fish, do you, Fuj?"_

"_CAUTION," Fujin warned again._

"_Well yeah, it's spiney, ya know? I don't know how I'm gonna get the hook out, ya know?"_

"_FUCK this," Seifer stood up and slammed his fishing pole onto the deck in frustration. "Who does this?! I mean, you have to be a complete retard to actually enjoy this crap - "_

"_That was fun, ya know?" Rajin was still too excited about his fish and bumbling to Fujin about the accomplishment that he'd completely missed Seifer's outburst. "Hurry up, Fuj, go and grab another piece of bait! I think I've found a hot spot, ya know? They're biting over here, ya know?"_

"_IDIOT," Fujin shook her head, trying to get Raijin to shut up. By now, there was no point. Seifer looked murderous._

_Raijin turned towards the water to motion towards the 'hot spot,' but Fujin finally kicked him in the rear, sending him flailing into the water, fish and all._

_Seifer barked out laughter, not expecting Fujin to send Raijin's ass overboard. "Hey, Rai! Don't scare off the fish, man!" he chuckled and was about to pick up his fishing pole when they were completely engulfed by a shadow. A loud humming sound and a heavy breeze flew over Fisherman's Horizon and the three SeeDs looked up._

_Balamb Garden sailed overhead and was headed to the far end of the bay to dock. Finally._

_Seifer grinned and let out a sigh of relief. _

_They're back._

"After I boarded Garden, Cid told me to keep out of sight to avoid confusion and panic," Seifer said bitterly. "The White SeeD ship dropped off Rinoa and Squall a day later, then we went back to Esthar to pick up you and Zell."

"Then…we were allowed to recover…and…we didn't see you until that day in Cid's office," Quistis murmured.

Seifer set his jaw. "Yeah."

She looked up at him, her brow furrowed in confusion. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

Seifer looked away and shrugged. "It wouldn't have made sense," he replied quietly. "Your memories had to return on their own time. They kept telling me that letting you know the truth wouldn't have helped a damn thing...that it would have confused you too much..."

Quistis put a shaky hand to her forehead. "Hyne, but…why did it take so long? Why couldn't I remember?"

Seifer shook his head. "Apparently it wasn't that memorable," he muttered bitterly.

She glanced up at him and took a step forward. "Why did you do it?"

He blinked at her.

"Tell me why you came to me in the Lunatic Pandora," she squeezed out in a strained voice. "Why did you warn me but not the others?"

Seifer averted her gaze.

"You told me to remember…to remember anything…to remember you…"

"As long as you had something to hold on to, something from the present, a recent memory, it'd help you return from time compression," Seifer replied with another shrug.

"You didn't answer my question."

Seifer remained silent.

"Why me, Seifer?"

He looked away. "Look, Trepe, I don't know - "

"It's _Quistis_!" she cried, clenching her fists. "My _name_ is _Quistis_!" Tears started to prick at her eyes again at his cold indifference. "And you _do_ know! Now tell me!"

Seifer looked at her and felt a pang of guilt. Whenver he felt guilty, though, he habitually and automatically got defensive. He suddenly began to doubt himself. If he told her the truth, she'd laugh in his face. If he told her the truth, she'd brush him off. If he told her the truth, she'd recoil. If he told her the truth, it wouldn't do a damn thing. She'd always treat him the same; just like in class, just like during the SeeD field exam, just like now.

"What do you want to hear? Hmm?" He straightened and uncrossed his arms, glaring at her. "What do you want me to say?"

Quistis narrowed her eyes and her jaw slightly dropped. "I _want_ you to tell me the truth!"

"What would you do if I told you, Quistis? What would you say?" His voice grew louder.

She blinked.

"You wouldn't do anything," he snarled. "It wouldn't matter. It never did. You know what happened back in the Lunatic Pandora; you've got your memories back. Good for you. Congratulations. Are we done here?"

Quistis glared at him and shook her head, swallowing the angry tears back. "You're unbelieveable, do you know that? Just…absolutely…Hyne-damned _impossible!"_

"So I'm told," he replied bitterly.

"Why did you come to me, Seifer?" Quistis repeated the question angrily. "After all that time, after all that fighting…Why did you even _bother?!_ Answer me!"

He stepped forward. There was a long pause as he towered over her, glowering down. Quistis swallowed and stood her ground, looking up at him. Finally, when he spoke, his voice was surprisingly quiet.

"Don't you know?"

She stared back up at him, stunned, trying to search his expression with her eyes. The look he was giving her was piercing and disarming and made her heart race. It felt as if all the air had gone from her lungs. The look he was giving her was…

Something she'd seen only one other time…and that was in the Lunatic Pandora…

_No. Impossible. Does he…care about me? But…he hates me._

Her stunned silence was enough for him. He looked down, shook his head, straightened and turned.

"I'm outta here."

She blinked. She opened her mouth to speak, but her brain was still trying to register what the hell just happened. The fresh memories that had flooded back combined with the overwhelming shock and confusion of it all had completely rendered her speechless. The only word she managed to utter was his name.

"Seifer…"

_Wait._

Before she could say anything else, the door slid shut. She blinked and finally found her footing, stepping forward to face the empty hallway and the closed metal door.

_Gone. He's gone._

_What did I say? What did he say…? What…just happened?_

For reasons she couldn't explain, she licked her lips and felt her face screw tight. Angry, frustrated tears spilled down her cheeks and she slumped over to sit on the arm of the couch. She hugged herself, angry with herself for not confronting what she thought he was trying to say.

"_Don't you know?"_

_Don't I?_

_Oh, why didn't I do anything?_

…_Go after him._

_Go after him now!_

Quistis was torn. The utter shock from the realization that Seifer had, in fact, displayed feelings for her that were in no way, shape, or form callous and passive had rooted her to the ground. However, the screaming urge to shoot up and run after him kept returning. It was like a terrible, embarrassing, emotional, confusing roller coaster.

…_It's too late._

_No it's not._

_What are you waiting for?_

_Go._

_Go!!!_

_No. I…_

…_He'll just blow me off…I deserve that…_

She cried harder, suddenly angry at herself for her total lack of gumption. Her sudden inability to deal with the situation. Her own indecisiveness about something that had seemed so simple.

_What is wrong with me?!_

She thought of her experience as a soldier that had been devastatingly proportional with her inadequate social experience. She built strategies and struck her enemies down without a hitch, just like her awful attempt at building relationships only to watch them topple and burn to the ground. Lately, however, she hadn't even bothered to build relationships. She'd blocked them out completely.

Quistis curled into the corner of the couch, hugging her knees and burying her face in her arms, sobbing quietly.

_You've finally done it, Quistis,_ she cried harder. _You've finally built your wall to perfection. You've warded off everyone who has ever cared about you. Well done. You've finally separated emotion from your job as a SeeD. You are now the perfect soldier._

She cried even harder, feeling like a bigger failure than ever.

**_. . ._**

Seifer strode angrily to his room, his expression laced with utter rage and an implication of immediate death to any student who would dare cross his path. His fists were curled and he was tempted to break out Hyperion in a half-mad attempt to make himself feel better by splitting the entire Garden in two.

Once the door slid shut to his room, he slammed his back into it and pounded his fist against the wall.

_Fuck. What in the hell is wrong with me? Fuck. FUCK!!!_

He ran a hand through his hair and gritted his teeth. He seriously debated throwing something across the room. It'd make him feel better, but he didn't have anything valuable to break. Punching the wall would only earn him a hefty fine, and he didn't feel like dealing with broken fingers.

_Why can't I just…talk to her? Why can't I just tell her? I've survived Ultimecia and I've survived Squall…I kept telling myself that if I had one more chance, I'd tell her…_

_No balls, Almasy. You have no balls._

_What's the fucking point? She doesn't care._

_Does she?_

_No._

_Why does it matter?_

_FUCK. You're turning into such a wuss. Hyne. Do yourself a favor and kill yourself now before it gets worse._

Seifer sighed and strode over to his futon, sat down, and mulled over what the hell just happened in Quistis's room. She'd finally remembered. Even worse, he had his chance, and he didn't take it. Not really, anyway. Simple as that. Now he was hiding out like a fucking pussy. Pouting.

_Why am I acting like this?_

He tore off his boots, sat back, and rolled his head backwards. He already knew the answer. He'd known the answer for years.

_I'm in love with her. I've always been in love with her, and I've fucking hated her for it. I've hated her for never seeing it. I've hated her for ignoring it. _

… _I've hated her for not loving me back. _


	15. Finally

**_"And the questions pour out..._**

**_I did not understand...the sound of you falling..._**

**_I did not understand...the trembling heart of a dying man..._**

**_I did not understand...the sound of a trembling heart..."_**

_"Suicide Note"_ by Johnette Napolitano

* * *

Quistis was leaning over her bathroom sink, dabbing at her face with a cold washcloth. She'd never cried so much before, and now she felt dehydrated. Her eyes were puffy and sore, she had a headache, and even her throat was hoarse. The cold water alleviated the ache…somewhat.

She still couldn't quite grasp what had happened…although every time the thought sprung to her head, tears welled up in her eyes again and she'd start the whole process over. Sob, sniffle, deep breaths, throw away tissues, wash face, get ahold of oneself, sit and brood, then repeat. She glanced up and looked in the mirror.

Pathetic.

Her nose was red, her eyes were bloodshot and swollen, and her vision seemed blurry.

Her lip quivered and she buried her face in the cold washcloth.

_Pull yourself together, Quistis. _

Every time she closed her eyes, though, she saw him. She saw him in the Lunatic Pandora. She saw him leaning over her bedside giving her aspirin. She saw him sleeping on her couch. She saw him in the hallway, rubbing his thumb across her jawline.

She growled out loud, angry with herself. And then she cried some more.

_How could I be so stupid?!_

She trudged to her sitting room and sat on her couch. She looked around and her face screwed tight. She took a deep breath and sniffled, forcing herself to relax. The trembling in her chest, however, betrayed her calm exterior.

She shook her head and closed her eyes, letting out another sob. She put a hand to her forehead and bit her lip.

More than ever, she wanted to go to his room and explain herself. She wanted to apologize. She wanted to thank him for everything he'd ever done for her. She wanted to hug him. She wanted to kiss him. She wanted to beg for his forgiveness.

Quistis cried harder.

_It's Seifer Almasy. He'll never forgive me now. He'll hold a grudge against me for the rest of his life. It's official. I am the Ice Queen. I deserve it. How many times did he try to tell me? How many times did I stare back at him like an oblivious idiot?_

Without thinking, she reached over to the table and opened up a brown box that contained her notes, recording device, and small discs. She flipped back to several days prior and her lip quivered as she put the disc in the recorder.

"_Well…I did what I had to do."_

_Pause._

"_Seifer…do you want to talk about it?"_

_Pause._

"_Talk about it?"_

"_I mean…how you feel…you know, just to get it out…"_

"_How I feel? How the fuck would you feel?"_

She pressed the _stop_ button, hit _fast-forward_, and then hit _play_.

"_Your turn. Let's do it your way. Let's not sugar coat it. You've been through hell and you've seen worse than all of us combined. How did you get through it?"_

"_I told you."_

"_No, you didn't." _

"_Yes, I did, Trepe - "_

"_So lesbian fantasies helped you remain undercover? You'll have to do better than that."_

_Cracking and crunching. "Fine. Love, peace, friendship, all that fucking crap. That's what I fought for. That's what kept me going."_

Quistis's lip quivered again as she listened.

"_Seifer, you have to cooperate - "_

"_Why should it fucking matter how the fuck I got through it? I got through it, didn't I? I'm here, aren't I? Quit wasting my time! Next fucking question!"_

"_I'm trying to help - "_

"_You know what? Fuck this. I'm done. Nice fucking therapy session, instructor. I'm ready to kill someone again. Good job."_

"_Seifer - "_

"_A credit to the damn profession, you are. Hyne. What a fucking joke."_

"_Seifer, it goes both ways. You have to be truthful with me, otherwise this won't get anywhere."_

"_You'll only believe what you want to believe, Trepe. It doesn't matter what I say."_

She pressed the _stop_ button and closed her eyes, sobbing silently. _Hyne. He was right. All this time…_

She wanted to dig a hole; bury herself in the couch cushions as far as she could go so she could hide from the real world...she curled up into a ball and pulled a blanket over herself, feeling pathetic and worthless.

_He was right. Not once had I really listened to what he had to say._

_Now it's too late._

**_. . ._**

_Knock, knock, knock._

Seifer glanced up at the sound of Raijin's voice on the other side of the door. He'd been sitting on his futon in the dark, thinking and mulling over the events all evening. He was too pissed to turn on any lights, and he didn't want to let anyone know he was in his room in the first place.

Apparently there was no fooling Fujin and Raijin.

"Uh…yo, Seifer…you in there? We brought pizza, ya know?"

"CONSOLATION."

"Yeah, we wanna talk, ya know? What's the matter, ya know? We're here for ya, ya know?"

"MEAT."

"Yeah, we got your favorite, ya know? Why don't you let us in and we'll talk about it, ya know?"

Seifer sighed and rolled his head back. _Not. Fucking. Hungry._ "I don't really want to talk, guys. Come back later."

"RUMORS."

"Yeah, some students said you were actin' like you were about to kill someone, ya know? C'mon, Seifer. Tell us what happened, ya know?"

"INSTRUCTOR."

"Is it about Instructor Trepe? We can go and talk to her if ya want, ya know - "

"Dammit, guys, I said _later!_" Seifer growled. "I'm not in the mood!"

There was a long, silent pause. Finally, Raijin spoke in a low voice.

"Uh…whatever you say, man. We…we just wanna help, ya know?"

Seifer rubbed his face and stared at the ceiling. He felt like a prime asshole for yelling at them, but he was too pissed to be comforted. Hell. Since when did Fujin and Raijin ever have to comfort him, anyway?

_Have I really gotten that fucking pathetic over Quistis?_

"LATER," Fujin finally replied.

"Yeah, we'll…we'll see ya around, ya know? Hope everything turns out all right, ya know?"

Seifer half nodded and rolled his eyes. _Yeah. Doubtful._

After another extended silence of brooding, Seifer glanced at his clock.

_2042 hours. Hyne damn it._

He was tired of sitting on his ass in his room, but he didn't want to go anywhere public. Someone would get hurt. He gritted his teeth as he thought of what to do. The training center got too old. He'd been in there plenty of times, and he was tired of using his gunblade against T-Rexaurs and Grats. Besides, some dumb shit tore the place up recently and there was barely anything in there to fight.

He sighed. He wanted to go to the west wing, to the balcony he normally stood at when he wanted to be alone to think. Even though he'd have to pass by the stage, chances were that Selphie wouldn't be there with her festival committee cronies at this time of night. The decorations were nearly finished, anyhow.

Begrudgingly putting on his boots, Seifer let out another heavy sigh and ran a hand through his hair. More than ever, he felt like some sort of nomad. An outcast. Not that he wasn't used to it…it just got really fucking old. The only person that really made him felt as if he belonged was…well…

…she wasn't interested. How could she be? What the fuck did he expect?

He strode over to the door and hit the open button. After stepping out and glancing around, he slowly started to make his way towards the quad, even though he strangely felt empty and lost.

_I don't even know what to fucking do anymore._

**_. . ._**

_Squall…_

_Squall._

_Squall!_

"_Squall! Where are you going?"_

"_I'm going to find Sis!"_

…_Sis?_

"_Excuse me, have you seen a little boy?"_

_Squall blinked. Edea was standing in front of him, hands folded in front of her, softly smiling at him. Waves crashed in the distance, gulls cried, a breeze swept through the small courtyard, and Squall sucked in a startled breath._

_Edea cocked her head patiently._

"_Uh…" He looked around and suddenly realized where he was. He straightened and gave her a small, reassuring nod. "You don't have to worry. The boy won't go anywhere."_

_Edea smiled and shook her head slightly, suppressing a chuckle. "I think so, too. Poor thing…"_

_Suddenly, purple and black flames licked up from out of the cobblestone walkway and Ultimecia apparated in a swirl of magic. _

_Squall immediately pulled out his gunblade and snarled, "You're alive?!"_

_She didn't say anything, but her eyes darted to Edea. Walking slowly and weakly, Ultimecia was slightly hunched and shaking, glaring ahead of her with grey, empty eyes. Her black wings were torn, bleeding, and burned from the intense fight. Her red gown had been shredded and nearly exposed most of her pale, slender legs and chest. Burn marks, slash marks, soot, and blood marred her thin frame. She was half-dead; a shell of what used to be a woman, and no longer threatening, but Squall shuddered. She never seemed to lose her composure, or the cold, evil look on her face._

_Edea took a startled step back. "The sorceress?"_

_Ultimecia continued to walk slowly towards them and raised a weak, withered hand, reaching out to Matron._

"_Matron, stand back!" Squall barked, readying himself for an attack._

"_It's okay," Edea held up a hand, attempting to calm Squall down, but she kept her gaze on Ultimecia. "There's no need to fight. The sorceress is just looking for someone to pass her powers on to. In order to die in peace, a sorceress must be free of all her powers. I know…for I am one, too." She glanced at Squall sadly and added, "I shall take on the sorceress's powers. I do not want one of the children to become one."_

_Squall's gaze darted back and forth from Edea to Ultimecia, and he clenched his teeth uneasily. He gripped his gunblade tighter, not wanting to let Matron do it, knowing what would happen in the future... Ultimecia was still walking towards them. The sheer sight of her made his insides curl._

_With a sneer, Ultimecia stared at Edea and uttered, "I can't…disappear…yet…"_

_Squall stepped forward and held out a hand in protest. "Matron! Wait, Matron!"_

_In that instant, Ultimecia raised her arms. A flash of purple electricity and magic suddenly bolted from the sky as Ultimecia transferred her powers to Edea. Squall stepped forward in protest but had to shield his eyes from the blinding, flashing bright light that popped loudly and made his ears ring. Within seconds, Ultimecia was gone in a plume of smoke and Edea was on her knees, hunching over._

_Squall immediately ran to her side. "Matron!"_

_She was breathing hard, head hung. After a few moments, she looked up at him. "…Is this…the end?"_

_Squall set his jaw and put a hand on her shoulder to help her. "…Most likely."_

_The gentle woman looked up at the young man and blinked. She furrowed her brow as her friendly brown eyes settled upon his features, as if seeing him for the first time. She reached over and took his hand._

"_You called me Matron. Who…are you?"_

_Squall set his jaw and forced the sudden, unfamiliar sting of tears back. "A SeeD," he replied briskly. "A SeeD from Balamb Garden."_

_She narrowed her eyes in confusion. "SeeD? Garden?"_

"_Both SeeD and Garden are your ideas," Squall explained quietly. "Garden trains SeeDs. SeeDs are trained to defeat the sorceress."_

_Edea blinked and shook her head. She slowly rose, and he rose with her. "I'm afraid I don't understand. What are you saying?"_

_Squall didn't reply, but he kept his gaze on her. She took another step forward and examined him. After gazing into his eyes, her eyes darted up to his forehead. Her brows furrowed after seeing the pink scar, but then she examined his hair…his posture…the grim line he formed with his mouth when he was concerned…then back up to his eyes…_

_Those blue eyes…always so serious…always searching for something…_

_Edea put a hand up to her mouth and stepped back. "You're…"_

_Squall swallowed._

"_You're that boy from the future…?" she whispered._

_He stepped forward. "Matron…"_

_Mother…_

_Edea shook her head, looking afraid. "Please return. You do not belong here."_

"_Matron!" a little boy's voice called out from the orphanage and soft footsteps could be heard, growing closer and closer. "Matron!"_

_Squall took another step forward and wanted to say something…anything…to her, but he couldn't find his voice. She took another step back and tore her gaze away from him to turn her attention towards the small boy that suddenly appeared behind her._

_Squall glanced down at the boy and blinked._

"_I can't find Sis," the boy huffed, nearly in tears. "Am I…all alone?" After sniffing, he leaned to the side and furrowed his brows at Squall, suddenly interested in the stranger. "Who's he?"_

_Edea walked forward and knelt down, brushing his hair aside. "Nobody, honey. You don't need to know." She wiped the young boy's tears away with a thumb and added in a shaky voice, "The only Squall permitted here is you."_

_Squall straightened and swallowed back the tears, his jaw muscles flexing._

_Edea looked back up at him, no longer afraid. Her expression grew soft and sympathetic as she also forced the tears back._

"_Do you know where to go back to? Do you know how?"_

_Squall swallowed and didn't answer._

_She slowly stood back up, holding the young boy's hand. "Will you be all right by yourself?"_

_He ignored the swell of tears and stood straighter, his nostrils flaring and his jaw set. He gave her a curt nod, unable to speak. His eyes were full and he could barely make out the two figures in front of him. The only response he could conjure was his SeeD salute, which he knew she'd recognize in time. _

_I'll be all right, Matron._

"Squall?"

The tender voice and a soft touch along his face made his eyes flutter open.

"I'm sorry to wake you, Squall…but…you said you had to get up early tomorrow morning."

Squall blinked again. He'd fallen asleep on Rinoa's couch and she was smiling down at him, running a thumb across his cheek.

"Mmh. When did I fall asleep?"

"About twenty minutes into the movie."

His brows furrowed. "Really?"

She smiled and shrugged. "You wouldn't have liked it anyway."

"It's over?"

"Yeah, it's over. It's ten o'clock."

He slowly sat up and groaned. "Oh."

"Are you feeling all right?"

"Yeah. Fine. Just…dreams, that's all."

"Don't you have to get up early tomorrow?"

Squall gritted his teeth and let out an aggravated sigh. "Yeah. I do. Mmmnnnngggh."

Rinoa smiled at him as he slowly rose from the couch and stretched. "I can get up with you, if you want."

He glanced at her. "Would you?"

"Of course. What time?"

"For some reason, she wants me there by six-hundred hours." He rubbed his face. "Hyne."

"Okay!" Rinoa smiled. "I'll meet you in the quad with breakfast."

He eyed her. "You don't mind this crap, do you?"

She shrugged. "_I_ have fun with it. I don't know why it's so painstaking for you boys. Besides, it's supposed to be _your_ party."

_Yeah, but…nngggh. Who cares about streamers? Seriously._

"All right, well…I'll see you in the morning then. Thanks, Rinoa."

After kissing her goodnight, Squall left Rinoa's room and slowly trudged to his. They'd had a quiet dinner together and watched a movie (or at least attempted to), but now he was heading towards his room to go to bed. Sometimes he and Rinoa would spend the night together, but since he had to wake up early the next day, he simply wanted to sleep in his own bed. It was annoying to try to cram two bodies into a twin mattress sometimes, and tonight he wasn't in the mood to deal with it.

For some ungodly reason, he had agreed to help Selphie with some final ceremony preparations. Well…after being dragged into it by Irvine, Zell, and Rinoa, he had no choice but to offer his help. Besides, he figured it'd only be a matter of time. Everyone else had helped out except for him. Early-morning last-minute pain-in-the-ass decorations, then, would be his fate.

Squall's stride slowed down once he heard a faint gasping sound, followed by a sniffle. He glanced back. There wasn't anyone out in the hallway. He stopped and turned towards the front of the hallway again. Nobody was ahead of him.

There it was again. It sounded like…someone crying.

He glanced around and realized that he was standing in front of Quistis's room. Squall blinked.

Was that Quistis crying?

He stepped over to her door and leaned forward, cocking an ear towards it. After a pause, he gritted his teeth and sighed.

Yeah. She was crying.

There was really only one person in Garden who could make Quistis Trepe cry.

Squall shook his head and felt a swell of anger.

_That pigheaded son-of-a-bitch._

He knew what was going on between those two. It was obvious to everyone. As much as Squall hated to admit it, Seifer was almost like a brother to him, and as much as he tried to hate the asshole, he couldn't. He knew that Seifer had harbored strong feelings for Quistis, possibly as far back as the orphanage, but Squall had always considered Quistis to be too good for an idiot like Seifer. Besides, Quistis never really showed any sort of mutual feelings – but then again, those two always did hide their real feelings. Seifer acted like a bully. Quistis acted like a know-it-all. When Seifer returned, however, it was very clear to Squall – Quistis really did care about him.

But they were both so damned stubborn that they were more prone to hurt each other before ever admitting their true feelings to one another. Especially Seifer.

As he heard her weeping, Squall's heart went out to Quistis. For so long she'd been busy being the mother hen, clucking over all the younger students, that she never had time for herself. Now was her chance…well…if she'd stop being so hard on herself and if Seifer would stop being a hardheaded prick. Squall felt his brotherly feelings for Quistis return and he felt obligated to try to console her.

Squall raised his knuckles and was about to knock on her door when he stopped himself.

_What would I say? What can I tell her that would make her feel better? I'm fucking terrible at giving advice. Hyne. Besides, she'll try to act like nothing's wrong. She's never cried in front of us before. If anything, I might make it worse. _

No. Quistis wasn't the one that needed talking to.

He had to find Seifer.

Squall sighed and started to walk out of the dormitory wing, heading to a part of the quad he'd suspect Seifer would be, and thought to himself.

Over the long months, Squall had come to find that he needed Rinoa. She completed a piece of him that always seemed to be missing. He was always a loner. He didn't like it when people meddled in his business, and he never meddled in anyone else's. He always kept his problems to himself. He almost never relied on others. Until he met Rinoa. She'd taught him a lot of things they'd never really learned in the military academy. Sure, he knew how to provide backup to fellow soldiers and obey orders without question, but he didn't really know much about how to live _life_. Rinoa was someone from the other side. Someone without rules or regulations dictating her life. Rinoa was carefree and full of love, confidence, and cheer. He desperately needed something like that in his life…something he hadn't had since the orphanage. Something that had been missing ever since Sis left.

He knew that Quistis had tried to fill that gap once, but she couldn't do it. Quistis was a soldier, just like he was. Quistis was a comrade, not a confidante. Quistis didn't know the brighter side of life either. They were the same.

But not Rinoa. He and Rinoa, as odd a couple as they were, _worked_ together. She helped to lighten things up for him, and he helped bring a bit of order and protection into her disassembled life.

Rinoa didn't work for Seifer, Squall knew, because Seifer didn't need what Squall needed. Seifer took advantage of girls like Rinoa. He took advantage of girls that played coy and had no real clue of what war was or what SeeD did – only that they looked good in uniform. Seifer took advantage of them because he had no respect for them. Seifer was callous and arrogant. He didn't need someone like Rinoa. In fact, he needed someone to bitch-slap him every now and then and keep him in check. He respected SeeD. He respected battle. He respected anyone who genuinely understood the ugly side of life. Ironically enough, Quistis Trepe was absolutely perfect for Seifer Almasy. She was never afraid to tell him off, or to step up and defend herself, and she almost always got her way with him, even though she never realized it. Squall saw it over and over again in class. Seifer would disrupt class and land himself in detention more times than he could count, but he listened to Quistis more than he let on. She didn't know it, but her teaching really reached him. He was a smart guy. No doubt his cunning wit was a credit to Quistis's lessons. It was a miracle she hadn't caught on to his antics, either. Squall knew that Seifer's misbehavior and constant disruption during class were geared towards one thing, and one thing only.

To get Quistis's attention.

Trying to convince her of that, however, was damn near impossible.

It didn't matter if Seifer made her mad, or if he insulted her, or if he almost drove her to tears. His tactics worked. He made it almost impossible for her to ignore him. It was never that he hated her, or that he was out to cut her down – they all knew that Quistis was too strong to be broken – it's just that Seifer did what he knew best; he bullied her. He'd bullied her ever since the orphanage, but Quistis simply forgot.

It was probably because of her GF amnesia that Seifer simply tried harder. He strived to make her remember.

And now that they were back together again, at each other's throats like the old days, things had finally seemed to be getting back to normal for Seifer and Quistis, oddly enough. He seemed to be in much better spirits and she had a purpose again. It was the strangest relationship he could try to describe to anyone, but Squall knew that those two were like two opposing forces of energy; they orbited each other and pushed and pulled at each other, until something would ultimately cause a collision and it would be chaotic and volatile and it would result in absolute beauty and harmony once the dust settled.

If only those two would ever fucking give in.

The swell of anger returned. _Quistis never cried, though. I've never seen her cry. Not once. That stupid bastard._

Something must have happened to make Quistis cry alone in her room. Seifer must have finally done something…or not done something…

Squall reached the west wing, which extended outside and eventually led to the stage. Seifer was in the small courtyard, standing with his back to Squall, arms crossed, facing out over the dark horizon. Squall couldn't see the look on his face, but he knew by Seifer's posture alone that he was not in a good mood.

"Almasy."

Seifer crooked his head at Squall's voice but didn't turn around. He emitted an aggravated sigh. "What the fuck do _you_ want?"

Squall crossed his arms. "You're letting her get away."

Seifer swirled around and glared at him with narrowed eyes. "What did you just say?"

"You heard me."

Seifer blinked and stared at him angrily, a look of contempt darkening on his face.

"I know how you feel about her," Squall said in a low voice, walking down the steps slowly.

Seifer's jaw dropped slightly in utter rage. He looked murderous.

"Don't make things worse by avoiding it," Squall continued, stopping in the middle of the courtyard.

Seifer curled a lip. "What the fuck are you talking about, Leonhart?"

"I just came from Rinoa's room and I passed by Quistis's," Squall replied. "I heard her crying."

Seifer stiffened and set his jaw. After a pause, he looked away. "So?"

"So are you going to pace around here all night long, or are you going to do something about it?"

Seifer turned his back. "I don't believe it's any of your business, _dickwad_."

Squall shook his head and looked away. "Hyne, you always were an arrogant piece of shit. Why can't you admit that even you need help - "

"What in the hell is your _problem_, Squall? Since when did you give a damn about _anything_?"

"Quistis is my friend and I'm not going to let you - "

Seifer suddenly turned, grabbed Squall by the collar of his coat, and shoved him back, slamming him into the wall. "Your _friend?_ Are you _kidding_ me?! You never gave a _fuck_ about her, Leonhart! She coddled you like a fucking puppy and what did _you_ do? You bit her back like the spoiled little _bitch_ that you are! You're not going to let me do _what_, Leonhart? _Huh?!_ You have no stake – _none_ – in anything that concerns Quistis. You _had_ your fucking chance. You had _several_."

Squall grabbed Seifer's collar as well and tried to push him off, but Seifer held firm. "You're fucking blind, Almasy - "

"Oh, so now that you're tamed because sweet little Rinoa sucks your dick - "

"Leave her out of this," Squall growled angrily.

"What, mad because it's true? _Fuck you_, Leonhart. Just because you're in a comfy, cozy relationship, you think you know how it all works?" Seifer snarled. "Just because you're in _love_, you think you can give me advice? Make me fucking _puke_. Who the _fuck_ do you think you are?"

"I _know_ what it's like to try to go on alone," Squall barked back. "I know, Almasy! And trust me, you'll only end up fooling yourself."

"Who made _you_ the fucking expert? And what makes you think this has anything to do with Quistis?"

"Don't try to tell me you don't feel anything for her," Squall growled. "I've seen it in class - "

"Shut the fuck up!"

"You can't tell me that none of it was for her, Almasy," Squall barked back. "The only reason you got through that mission is because you love her - "

"You don't know _shit!_"

"What if Quistis was possessed by Ultimecia, Seifer? _Huh?!_ What would you have done?"

Seifer curled his lips into a snarl and his eyes glinted with malice. He gripped Squall's collar tighter and gave it a jerk. "I said _shut up!_"

"What would you have done, Seifer?" Squall challenged, his voice raised. "Would you have fought for her? Or would you have run away? _Huh?!?_"

Seifer gritted his teeth in rage but didn't reply. There was a long pause as they glared at each other angrily, until finally, his grip loosened. Squall shoved him off and straightened his jacket.

There was another long pause before Squall spoke again.

"Now you know how I felt."

Seifer's jaw muscles flexed, but he said nothing.

"When Rinoa became a sorceress…I thought that was it. I thought there was nothing I could do. When the Estharian soldiers took her away, I didn't even raise a finger in protest." He crossed his arms and let out a bitter chuckle. "I didn't even fucking _try_."

Seifer didn't answer.

"After that, it was over for me," Squall continued. "Everything was over. I didn't even want to fight any more. I lost my purpose. Rinoa was all that mattered to me. I didn't even give a shit about the Lunar Cry anymore. I figured…if I couldn't live my life with her, then…life wasn't worth living at all." Squall glared at Seifer. "At that moment, I gave up on them – our team. Garden. Cid and Matron. I quit."

Seifer crossed his arms and remained silent.

"But Quistis…" Squall sighed. "It was Quistis who reminded me what I was fighting for in the first place. She said I was a fool for letting Rinoa go. Said that I did it all for nothing if it wasn't for Rinoa. And you know what?" He glanced up at Seifer. "She was right. Quistis knew that I couldn't do it alone, even before I did."

There was another long pause as Squall took a few steps towards the center of the courtyard, sighed, and crossed his arms.

"The sad thing is…I don't think I would have gone after Rinoa if it wasn't for Quistis. I wouldn't have taken the intitiative because I was too Hyne-damned stubborn and stupid and confused. I was so used to relying on my own judgment and blocking out emotions…that I'd blocked out my own love for Rinoa. I let soldiers drag her away that day, and I would have left her behind in that sorceress prison, locked away and frozen like a criminal just like Adel, without a second thought," Squall gritted his teeth angrily. "I know I'll regret that decision for the rest of my life…until the day I die."

Seifer looked at the ground and didn't reply.

"You can't do it alone, Almasy," Squall continued. "Believe me, I've tried. You should know. It's dangerous and it's foolish. Quistis taught me that. The whole reason my entire fucking pathetic existence as a soldier had a purpose was because of Rinoa. She saved me from myself. And I know that the only reason you survived through all this shit was because of Quistis. She saved _you_."

Seifer gave Squall a hard glare but said nothing.

"Go back to her and fix it," Squall motioned towards the dormitory wing angrily. "Because if you don't, you'll have wasted _years_ of your life over her…you would have fought for absolutely nothing. All your persistence will amount to nothing."

Seifer looked away and didn't reply.

Squall started to walk away, stopped, and turned his head. "Quistis has never given up on you, Seifer," he added in a low voice. "_Never_. So don't you _dare_ give up on her."

With that, he walked back towards the main quad, leaving Seifer to sulk angrily in the courtyard.

**_. . ._**

It was almost midnight, and Quistis still hadn't managed to fall asleep. Two hours prior, she had changed into her pajamas like normal, washed her face and brushed her teeth like normal, let her hair down like normal, and slipped under the sheets like normal.

Normal, predictable, boring, bossy little Quisty.

She stared at her ceiling. She had finally managed to stop crying after getting ready for bed; not because she was able to stop thinking about what had happened, but because it was almost as if her body couldn't physically produce any more tears. Thankfully, though, the swelling around her eyes had gone down a little and she took a few aspirin to relieve the headache.

She still felt absolutely terrible.

Laying there in her reverie, she thought about what had happened over and over again. She thought of the war. She thought of the Lunatic Pandora. She thought of Seifer. Worst of all, she thought about what would happen tomorrow. She thought about the military tribunal. She thought about facing him again.

_How will I ever bring myself to even look at him?_

She continued to stare at her ceiling and sighed. Once or twice she might have dozed off, but not for long. Time became irrelevant. She didn't even notice that she was laying there, wide awake, for almost three hours straight. It seemed as if only a few minutes had passed by.

A brief rap on the door startled her out of her daze and she sat up, automatically clutching the sheets. She stole a glance at the clock and narrowed her eyes.

_2318 hours. Hyne. Who on earth…?_

She got up and sighed, figuring it would probably be Selphie. She could just imagine it now.

_Quisty, where have you been all day? Quisty, you haven't bothered to help us out with the ceremony decorations. I'm going to need your help pronto. Quisty, how are you feeling? Did you think about what Rinoa and I said earlier about panties?! Quisty, Quisty, Quisty…_

Quistis rubbed her eyes and padded over to the door, not even bothering to look at the monitor to see who it was.

"Selphie, I'm really not in the mood - "

The door slid open and Seifer was leaning against the frame, arms crossed, staring at the floor. His brows were furrowed but he looked incredibly tired.

Quistis thought she felt her heart leap right into her throat. There was a pause before she found her voice.

"Oh…Seifer? What is it?"

Seifer kept his gaze on the ground. "I can't sleep."

After a pause, Quistis blinked. She glanced back to her sitting room and motioned nervously, suddenly feeling awkward and uneasy. "Um…uh…would you like to sleep on the couch?"

He remained silent.

She licked her lips and swallowed, stepping aside. She wordlessly motioned him in. He stepped through the doorway and crossed his arms, taking a spot in the narrow hallway.

She turned and pressed a button to close the door, then pressed another to lock it. She turned around to face him, crossing her arms. The hallway was dark, only dimly lit by the lamp light trailing in from her bedroom.

"…Are you all right?"

Seifer wasn't meeting her gaze. His jaw clenched and unclenched in thought.

She inhaled and hugged herself nervously, looking at the floor. "Look…Seifer…I, uh…I wanted to apologize about - "

"Don't."

His gruff voice cut her off within seconds, and his demeanor both startled her and stung her. His tone brought fresh tears to her eyes, but she licked her lips and swallowed them back.

There was a long pause before she mustered up the gumption to speak again. It was evident that Seifer didn't want to sleep on the couch, but he didn't seem to want to talk, either. She decided to make a half-hearted attempt to loosen the tense atmosphere with _something_.

"I, uh…I'll get some water."

She walked down the hallway and squeezed past him, but before she could even get to the mini fridge, his hand shot out and grabbed her wrist, gently pulling her back.

Before she could react, his lips were on hers. Her breath hitched in shock as he pressed into her, pulling her closer by cupping her cheek with the other hand and pressing his other hand into the small of her back. Her eyebrows shot up in utter surprise as she pressed her palms against his chest in an automatic response, but at the same time, she found herself returning the kiss. As she kissed him back, he was spurred further and he stepped closer to her, pressing his chest against hers and letting his hips graze towards her midsection as one palm slowly slid up her back to press her into him. Her breath hitched again at the feel of his body against hers and one hand slid up his chest to grip the back of his neck. She kissed him back with just as much need.

With a sigh, he backed her into the wall and pressed his lips harder against hers, intensifying the kiss by parting her lips with his tongue to tease hers gently. His palm against her back slowly shifted and ran down her side, clenching and unclenching the fabric of her pajama shorts. The hand cupping her cheek slowly slid down her neck and slipped further towards her chest, greeting the rise of her breasts. Quistis's breaths grew quicker and for a fleeting second, the feel of his hand caressing a spot that had never been caressed before almost made her lift a knee to his groin in programmed SeeD self defense; however, she abandoned all her guards and instead emitted a breathy sigh into his lips.

Seifer pressed his hips into hers with a quiet groan, pinning her against the wall in the narrow hallway, and his hand ran further down her torso, stopped to caress the bare skin of her midriff – eliciting another breath from Quistis – and continued down to the other side of her pajama shorts. Quistis wrapped both her arms around his neck and ran a hand through his hair as he kissed her harder – more desperately – with faster breaths. Her heart pulsed in her chest and her loins suddenly tingled with an unfamiliar ache.

Seifer's hands slowly slid back to grab her buttocks, and with another groan, he lifted her up and pressed her against the wall. She automatically wrapped her legs around his waist and he moved against her, making her fully aware of what exactly was under his warmup pants. His hands trailed back up to her chest and she moaned, kissing him harder and wrapping her legs around him tighter as he squeezed lightly. Moving slowly and deliberately, Seifer ran his hands down her arms and grabbed her wrists, then slowly brought her arms up over her head. He pressed his hips into hers again and she sucked in a tiny gasp as his head dipped to kiss her neck. Her chest rose and fell with each breath and he slowly caressed his tongue over her skin. Quistis closed her eyes and swallowed. He lifted his head up and kissed her hungrily, then brought his hands slowly down her arms, trailing down the front of her tank top, back to her midriff. She kept her arms raised against the wall and opened her eyes as his lips pulled away from hers and he glanced down at her middle; then, looking back up at her, he slowly pulled up her tank top.

They watched each other, but Quistis gave no signal for him to stop or slow down. He slowly pulled the fabric over her head and arms and she bent forward to kiss him, wrapping her arms around his neck. He tossed the tank top aside and clutched her closer, his palms running up and down her bare back. The feel of his hands on her bare skin prompted Quistis to let out a breathy moan and Seifer started to breathe harder, lowering his head again to her neck. She let out a sigh when she felt his teeth graze her collarbone and his tongue flicked across her skin. She swallowed and her breath hitched when he ventured further down to greet the rise of her breasts and did things with his lips and mouth that she had never experienced before…

_Oh, Hyne._

She moaned and arched her back in response.

Seifer gripped her hips tighter and pulled them into his.

Another moan.

He couldn't take much more of this.

Neither could Quistis. She clenched the folds of his shirt and started to shift it upwards, tugging it slowly up his stomach, back, until he gripped it and pulled it over his head.

They embraced each other and the sudden heat from skin-on-skin contact nearly drove Seifer into a frenzy. Quistis let out another moan, this time louder, and he pressed his lips into hers harder, the kiss suddenly turning intense and desperate. He pushed her back against the wall again and pressed himself against her, purposely thrusting his hips into hers, and she sighed into his lips and moved her body against him, willingly submitting and bending to his will. The only thing stopping them at this point was the remaning clothing they had on.

Seifer would remedy that quick.

Wrapping his arms around her and holding her up, he began to walk towards her bedroom, kissing and nibbling her neck desperately while keeping one eye open to see where he was going.

Slamming a toe into a coffee table or doorframe would definitely be a major cock block.

He gently laid her down in the bed and straddled her at the same time, hovering over her by propping himself up on one elbow, and not once breaking the deep kiss they were locked into. One hand moved from her back to her face again, cupping her cheek and caressing her jawline, while the other hand was wrapped around her to hold her closer. Quistis had one leg wrapped around his and both of her arms were wrapped around his neck; one hand ran through his hair as she kissed him back just as hard as he kissed her. To hell with being reserved and cautious.

Seifer's wandering hand eventually found its way from her face, down her torso, ultimately to her waistline; he gripped it, feeling Quistis's breath quicken, then he let go, caressing her hips and running his hand up and down the thigh that was entangled with his, indulging in her silky smooth skin and wondering, more than once…

Is she black-panties Quistis, or granny-panties Quistis?

Not that it mattered in the heat of the moment, but he was desperate to find out. He traced her waistline a second time and slid his fingers between the fabric and her skin. She made no move to stop him; in fact, she let out an excited breath, so he reluctantly sat up, tearing himself away from her embrace and her lips, to slide off her pajama shorts.

_Holy mother of Hyne._

It was too good to be true.

She was neither black-panties Quistis nor granny-panties Quistis.

She was red, lacy thong Quistis. Quistis Trepe was wearing a thong. And it was red lace. Seifer wanted to sing opera.

Instead, the only sound he could muster was a deep groan as he sank back onto her and kissed her with an intense desperation that was years in the making; years of burying subtle feelings under a visage of apathy, until the feelings could no longer be contained and they finally exploded.

She tugged at his boxer shorts until he slid out of them automatically, and he moved his hands up her thighs and played with her hips, his fingers slid under the lace and he ran his hands over her skin and squeezed, then he gripped the thong with his fingers and she curled her legs up to help him pull it off…

It all happened in one fast, fluid motion. They didn't hesitate. Seifer was on top of her, clutching her close, and she elicited a pained whimper as he slowly went inside her. He watched her closely for any signs of pain or hesitation, but Quistis furrowed her brows, bit her lip and arched her hips towards him, letting out another high moan as he gently went in deeper. He lowered his head to kiss her, and made sure that he was gentle and slow. After time, when the furrow in her brow relaxed and she started to breathe harder, he and moved against her a little faster. Eventually, their lips brushed together and they pressed their foreheads together as they both concentrated on each other, embracing each other tightly with each new rhythm, with each new thrust, until Quistis felt the pain ebb away and she responded with softer, breathy moans. He buried his face in her neck and groaned into it, using his teeth and tongue and moving his way down her chest as she arched her back.

The minutes ticked by and they clutched each other with newfound need and purpose, and their breathing got heavier, and Seifer was suddenly afraid that he'd go prematurely before Quistis's first time…

_Hyne. It's been too long. And she's so…fucking…_

"Seifer…" she breathed into his ear as she lifted her hips into him. He never heard her say his name like that before. Automatically, his body responded by thrusting harder, and she moaned again. He squeezed his eyes shut and kissed her with shaky breaths, concentrating solely on her and pressing her into him. The heat of their bodies and their labor had started to make them both sweat, and Quistis moaned again, this time a little louder, as she arched her back and clutched the bedsheets tightly.

_Shit…I can't hold much longer._

She tilted her head back and arched her back even further as he felt her entire body tighten against him. Her nails dug into his back, but he didn't care. Harder, deeper, faster…

He leaned into her and wrapped both his arms around her, holding her tightly as he felt her climax. He thrust harder and buried his face into her neck and closed his eyes, emitting a sighing growl just as she whimpered and moaned and sighed and clutched him just as tightly.

Then he slowly relaxed on top of her, not releasing his grip. They were both breathing hard; Seifer was facing her neck and gave it a few small chaste kisses, relishing the scent of her hair, while Quistis turned her face towards his head, eyes closed, caressing his head and back with her hands.

They laid there for a long time, holding each other, not moving. Eventually, Seifer shifted over to her side but remained propped up on one elbow, looking down at her. He examined her rosy cheeks she obtained from the afterglow, and her pale blue eyes looked back up at him with a new emotion he'd never seen in them before. Slowly, he leaned down and gave her a soft kiss. He pulled away only slightly, hovering over her lips. She blinked and suddenly looked worried.

"I don't want to fall asleep," she whispered.

"Why?" his lips brushed against hers.

She closed her eyes. A tear fell from the corner of one eye and he gently moved his hand up to her face, brushing it away with a thumb. He continued to gently caress her temple with his thumb, back and forth.

"Because," she whispered, turning her head in to his touch, "I'm afraid I'll wake up and you won't be here…that this was all just a dream…"

She slowly opened her eyes to meet his. His gaze flicked over her face and he continued to caress her cheekbone.

There was a bated pause before he whispered huskily, "You don't have to worry about dreams anymore."

His head dipped and he closed the gap between them by giving her a deep, slow kiss.

**_. . ._**

Before she was even fully awake, the sound of soft breathing and the warm presence of a body beside her made Quistis Trepe very aware of what had happened in the middle of the night.

_We slept together._

_Me…with Seifer Almasy…_

_Oh, Hyne._

She slowly opened her eyes. She was on her right side with her back to the wall. Only a thin sheet had been thrown over their hips, and their legs were half-tangled in it. She suddenly felt incredibly embarrassed for being stark naked and glanced nervously at Seifer. He was also lying on his right side with his back to her, still sound asleep. The soft rhythm of his breathing made his massive shoulders rise and fall, and she couldn't help but admire the view. A few scars wrapped around his shoulders and there were a couple of scars created from the exit wounds of gunshots, but the width of his shoulders and sculpt of his entire posterior more than compensated for the damage.

She swallowed. She had absolutely no idea what to do in this type of situation. She'd never been in one before. Was there some sort of post-coital etiquette to follow? Probably not with Seifer Almasy.

Which was why she became worried.

_Was I another conquest to him? Hyne, I shouldn't have done this. I shouldn't have lost control. Did he sleep with me because I was off limits? Just because I happened to be the closest vagina in the vicinity? But last night…last night he was different. He was vulnerable. I saw it in his eyes. Does he care about me? Do I care about him?_

She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to force the thoughts out of her head. Slowly and carefully, she lifted her head up and craned her neck to see what time it was.

0832 hours.

She went through the daily schedules in her head and realized she didn't have any for the day. She glanced over. Doubtful Seifer had plans, either.

Sleeping in seemed like the best option. She could avoid waking Seifer for the time being, and she could lay there in silence to think.

_What do I say? 'Good morning. How did you sleep?' Oh, Hyne. Awful._

She glanced at him again and couldn't help but feel the new, fresh admiration wash over her. She knew that he had spent so many restless nights tossing and turning from the dreams. It was nice to see him silent and peaceful now. She resisted the urge to scoot closer and kiss his back.

_Last night was incredible. I'd say it was a psychological breakthrough._

The voice of reason came back, though.

_But what if the feeling isn't mutual? What if it was all an act? He'll toss me aside like he did so many others. He'll laugh at me and carve another notch in his belt. He'll relish the fact that he was my first…Hyne, I can't believe Seifer Almasy was my first…I always wanted to save the first for love…_

Quistis bit her lip.

_Do I love him?_

_Yes. No. Maybe. Get a hold of yourself, Quistis. If you're stupid enough to give your heart to Seifer Almasy, you'd better expect him to throw it to the ground and stomp on it._

_No. He's not like that. He's not the Seifer you thought he was._

…_Yes, he is._

_But…last night…_

_I'm thinking too much about this. Just last night I was bawling about how I'd never be able to face him again, and as if by some miracle, he comes back to profess his feelings…_

She froze.

_No, he didn't. He didn't even say anything! When I tried to talk to him, he shut me up._

…_Did he sleep with me as retribution?_

_Stop it! You're thinking about this too much!_

She closed her eyes again and tried to think about something else.

_Like my arm. Where's my arm? I can't feel my arm._

She wiggled the fingers of her right hand. Nothing. Her arm was asleep. She had to adjust herself to get the blood flowing, and adjusting meant movement.

She rose slowly, carefully, and silently, keeping a close watch on Seifer. He still hadn't moved. She arched her back and slowly turned around to her left side, bringing her dangling, limp arm with her. The sheet had slid down off of her hips and completely exposed her lower rear, but she abandoned any attempt to fix them. Being tangled in a web of sheets next to a sleeping giant (whose early-morning temperament was more than likely to be extremely unpleasant) was too risky. She finally lowered back down to the pillow and faced the wall, biting her thumbnail in nervous thought.

She wondered where everything would go from here. She wondered if he would give her the time of day after this. She wondered if he actually liked her all this time – for years – despite appearances. She wondered how long he was there in Esthar, waiting for her to come back from time compression.

'Wake up, instructor.'

_All this time…_

Ten or fifteen minutes had passed and her mind was still whirring. No matter what, things had changed between them. The usual continuity of their interactions would be different. She was worried if it would be for better or for worse. She was still worrying when Seifer moved.

She froze.

He let out a sleepy sigh, as if he wasn't quite awake yet, and slowly turned over. The tangled sheets at their feet didn't faze him as he inadvertently pulled her ankles closer to his. He wasn't conscious about waking Quistis up, because he'd rolled closer. Quistis stared at the wall, ready for a muffled curse, an irritated outburst, or a mean-spirited comment aimed at her – anything with the emotionless words 'Trepe,' 'instructor,' 'virgin,' or 'good lay,' – but nothing came.

Instead, to her utter astonishment, he put an arm around her and pressed her against his chest.

Then all fell silent. His soft breaths continued their rhythm of sleep and she felt herself relax against him, her worries completely melting away in the comfort of his grip. After all the time that had passed, after all her interactions with Seifer – before, during, and after the war – she finally knew that last night had been a culmination of everything that had built up between them, despite her stubborn rejection of the simple truth. His feelings for her, which were finally transparent, helped her to realize her own feelings for him – which had been buried beneath the surface, all this time. Until now.

_Yes. I do love him. I think I always have._

Her eyelids fluttered and she fell back into a deep sleep.

**_. . ._**

Seifer's eyes groggily blinked open and he focused on a blurry figure in front of him that smelled like lavender and citrus.

_Mmmhh._

_Wait…? Where the fuck am I?_

The figure moved silently and slowly. It breathed. It was soft and warm. He blinked again. He realized that he had his arm around Quistis, and she was asleep with her back to him.

_Oh. I remember. I'm in a state of complete fucking euphoria._

He'd clutched her to his chest and was now breathing in the scent of her hair…his lips were within kissing distance of her shoulder…

His thoughts traveled back to the previous night.

_Holy shit. I can't believe…this actually happened. Does this mean that she actually gives a shit about me? That the almighty Quistis Trepe has feelings for the prodigal Seifer Almasy?_

Perhaps he was just paranoid…but it had been a long time since he believed in happy endings.

_What if I was just…a convenience…to her? What if she wanted to forget her problems and used me as a security blanket?_

He doubted that Quistis used guys to her advantage…yet…he found himself conjuring every excuse why she _wouldn't_ want to stay with him…

_I know I was her first. I…I felt it…and Hyne, she felt so good…_

He closed his eyes and felt the heat rise in his loins just thinking about it.

_But would she even want me to stick around…? Or would she freak out and babble about how all this was just a mistake…that she shouldn't have lost control last night…that she's really a lesbian, or that it was unprofessional and crude and her job was on the line, or that she was thinking about Squall the whole time we did it, or…?_

His thoughts were driving him mad.

_Shut the fuck up, Almasy._

At that moment, Quistis stirred. Seifer stiffened. She curled her toes and stretched, and with a soft sigh, turned over to face him. Her eyes were still closed and she licked her lips and moaned. Seifer kept his arm around her and tentatively but softly caressed her back, then moved a strand of hair away from her face and glanced down, expecting the words 'get out,' 'mistake,' or 'oh no,' but they never came.

Instead, her eyes fluttered open groggily from his touch and reached up to hold his hand. She kissed it and moaned again.

"Seifer."

Lacing her fingers in with his, she nestled her head under his chin and sighed again before falling back asleep. He suddenly felt every worried thought dissipate and sighed with relief, feeling a new swell of lust rise within him. She hadn't pushed him away, or recoiled, or snapped something bitchy at him. She wasn't repulsed, or regretful, or angry. She even said his _name_, and it had been filled with desire and happiness, not dread or disgust.

He grit his teeth and took a deep breath, wanting to wake her up and repeat the exact sequence of events that had just occurred almost twelve hours ago. He pressed his face into her hair and kissed the top of her head, rubbing his thumb across her fingers and used his feet to play with hers. He relaxed against the pillow and clutched her tighter, closing his eyes. Quistis Trepe was his. Unequivocally _his_.

_Fucking finally._


	16. Resolution

**_"Lie down in my arms_**

**_Trust what you see_**

**_Smooth your brow, you will be with me_**

**_To find your relief..."_**

_"White Waters" _by Epica

* * *

Seifer's eyes flitted open and darted around the room. It was sickeningly bright. He closed his eyes again and groaned.

_Nooo. Not morning. Not daylight. Nighttime. Red…lacy…thongs…dancing in the moonlight…_

"Mmmh," Quistis moaned next to him and shifted. "What's the matter?"

He grunted.

She lifted her head from his chest and glanced at him groggily. "Hm?"

Another grunt.

_I guess Seifer's not a morning person._ She smiled and lowered her head, biting her lip. She couldn't wait to find out more personal tidbits about him – habits never investigated or overlooked in normal, everyday life, but immensely important to someone in love.

She lifted her head up again, suddenly realizing that she never turned off the lamp. She lifted herself up on her elbows to reach up and turn it off, which was sitting on an end table at the head of her bed. Seifer opened one eye and was met with a wonderful view of her bare chest.

"Mmmmmmm. Yesssss."

She turned off the lamp and glanced down. "Is that any better?"

"Mm. Much better."

She blinked and realized what he meant. She shook her head, grinning shyly. "I meant the brightness."

He closed his eyes again. "No. Why in the hell is it so damn bright in here?"

"My room faces the east."

"How do you sleep in?"

Quistis curled back next to him, putting her head on his chest. "I usually don't."

"Oh, right. Nerd."

She gave him a small jab in the side.

"What time is it?"

Quistis groaned. "Do we really have to get up?"

"I don't. You probably do. What time is your Trepie fan club meeting?"

She gave him another nudge. "Shut up."

Seifer glanced up at the clock, looking at the time upside-down. "It's 1100 hours. Hyne, half your day is already gone. I can't believe you're not freaking out into some crazy type-A panic attack."

Quistis hid her smile and buried her head against his chest. "Mmmph. Whatever. What about you? Losing badass points? You're missing out on bullying junior classmen in the hallway."

He chuckled. "I'll just take it out on you."

"It wouldn't be the first time."

"Yeah, but now I can do this," he pinched her butt and she jerked, giggling and grabbing at his wrist.

He liked her there, nestled in his arms. He wanted her to stay there. He looked at her figure up and down; her milky white skin seemed to glow in the sunshine that trickled into the room. Her breaths were steady and relaxed. Her legs were tangled with his. There were a few scars of burn and cut wounds spread throughout her legs and arms, but he loved every fucking inch of her. She was _his_.

He let out a groan. Hyne. He could just devour her. He grinned and pressed her closer. "Speaking of, I think it's time for an anatomy lesson."

Quistis looked up at him and rolled her eyes, although she was smiling. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah," he ran a hand down her back. "Why don't you explain to me why testosterone levels are at their peak in the morning…?"

"If you get a good night's sleep then your body is refreshed in the morning, and in turn it produces higher levels of hormones," Quistis replied.

Seifer stared at her with an amused brow raised.

Quistis blinked at him. "What?"

"You missed my point. And my point is literally poking at you."

She smiled. "You asked and I answered."

"Yeah, but I asked because I have _wood_. It was a rhetorical question, Quis."

"I _know_," Quistis shifted her hips and pressed against him, smiling mischievously. "I was just being a smart ass to get a rile out of you."

Seifer responded with a groan and leaned into her. "No, you were being a _geek_."

"Then make your point, Seifer," she breathed into his lips.

He grinned and kissed her. "Yes, ma'am."

. . .

They remained in bed all day long, neither of them wanting to remove themselves from the comfortable, heady, blissful situation that had occurred overnight. Quistis had tried once or twice to take a shower, but she couldn't get far before Seifer would drag her back to bed again. Finally, halfway through the day, they were able to make it to the shower, which had lasted until the hot water ran out, but couldn't find any more middle ground after that since Seifer was adamant about not getting dressed.

Quistis giggled as she held firm to her towel and attempted to pick up her used pajamas off the ground and toss them in her hamper…but Seifer was lying in her bed again, stark naked with damp hair, tugging at the towel, demanding that clothes were offensive and against his principles.

"Seifer, what are we going to do all day? Lay around?"

"Yes."

"But…"

"What else did you have planned?"

Quistis bit her lip and shrugged, knowing she was already defeated.

Seifer grinned. "Then there's no point in putting clothes on. Go ahead and try. I'll just take 'em off again." He was enjoying his new red-thong Quistis, and he wasn't about to let the wonderful day go to waste. Quistis Trepe was _his_ and she was _naked_. No bastard on the face of this planet could be luckier.

She finally conceded and allowed him to tug her back into the bed. "It's late afternoon, Seifer. We've skipped lunch and breakfast."

He tossed the towel aside and gave her an appoving once-over. "I know. I'm starving."

"Then what do you propose to do about food? We can't stay here all day long."

He pursed his lips together. "Hm. I wish I had my delivery boys back."

She blinked. "What delivery boys?"

"Last year, Fujin, Raijin and I roped some dumbass first-years together into delivering food for us as an exchange for breaking curfew," he replied.

Quistis rolled her eyes. "Hyne, Seifer. You totally abused your role as the head of the disciplinary committee."

"I know. Why the hell else would I have joined a committee?"

A loud, rapid knock suddenly filtered in from the front room, followed by a high-pitched voice.

"_Quisty? Quisty, are you in there? I'm going to keep on knocking until you answer, Quistis Trepe! I've been worried sick about you! Open up!" _

_Knock, knock, knock. Knock. Knock, knock. Knock knock knock knock._

"Should I answer the door like this?" Seifer grinned and spread his arms. "She won't know what the fuck hit her."

"Oh, no you don't," she gave him a swift kiss and moved to stand up. "Stay there and behave yourself."

Seifer clenched his teeth and grabbed her hips before she was able to leave the bed. "Hyne, Quistis, when you give me an order like that, why do I just want to _rail_ you?"

She swatted him away and gave him a seductive glance. "Hold that thought."

Seifer slammed his back into the mattress and shoved a pillow in his face, groaning in a muffled tone, "Mmmmmmrrrrrrrrrrrfffffffffff."

She chuckled as she swiftly wrapped the towel around her middle and trotted over to the door, opening it. On the other side was Selphie, who stared at Quistis in awe as she'd answered the door in a slight rush – trying to act nonchalant, of course – with wet, unkempt hair and wrapped in a simple white towel.

"Hi, Selphie. Sorry it took me so long to answer the door. I was in the shower."

Selphie narrowed her eyes and turned her head slightly. "It's way past lunchtime, Quisty."

"So?"

"So you never take showers in the afternoon."

"Well, today I did. I slept in."

Selphie took a step back, aghast. "You _never_ sleep in!"

"Today I did," Quistis seemed slightly annoyed. "Why is that so hard to believe?"

An enormous grin suddenly spread across Selphie's face and she did a little dance, pointing at Quistis. "You did it, didn't you?"

Quistis made a face. "Did what?"

"Don't deny it! You _totally_ did it! You're together! Oh, what a release!" Selphie threw her arms up in the air and then pulled at her hair excitedly. "Finally! I mean, holy fucking shit! _Finally!_" She suddenly stepped forward, poked her head inside the doorway, and yelled, "Woo-hoo! GOOO, SEIFER!"

"Selphie!" Quistis hissed, looking up and down the outer corridor. "Shhhhhh!"

"Should I pick up some food for you guys?" Selphie asked. She leaned her head into the doorframe and barked, "Hey! Seifer! Is it power hour yet? Need some nutrients?!"

"_Really_, Selphie - "

"Fuck yeah," Seifer's voice yelled back. "Bring the whole damn cafeteria back with you, will ya? I'm hynedamned starving."

Selphie pointed at Quistis and barked, "HA!" She let out another little squeal of glee and bounced off. "Be right back!"

Quistis stared outside her door, jaw slack, still holding the towel up. She blinked and finally came to her senses, then glanced down the hallway. Selphie was already long gone. She straightened, blinked again, closed the door, and shook her head.

_Well…I guess that's that._

Once she got to the bedroom, she put her hands on her hips and raised an expectant eyebrow. Watching him laying there, however, in all his chiseled, unabashed glory, it was hard to remain stern. He was giving her a cocky smirk, propping himself up with an elbow. Upon seeing her expression, he simply shrugged.

"Hey. She asked."

She sighed. "That really wasn't _quite_ what I had in mind when I wanted all our friends to find out…"

"_Your_ friends."

"No, _our_ friends. They're on your side, Seifer. Just give them a chance."

He snorted and rolled onto his back, but said nothing further.

She slowly sat on the edge of the bed and sighed. "I'm not sure how long it'll take Selphie to actually get us food. I'm sure she's making pit-stops along the way."

"I don't care, as long as she brings something back. I'm starving."

"Was that really necessary? I could've gotten the food myself."

He grinned up at her. "I don't call her messenger girl for nothing."

"Seifer…" She was cut off when he reached up and yanked off the towel again.

"Aw, fuck. I've gone and done it now."

"Seifer - " she grabbed at the towel, but he tossed it to the ground and held onto her wrist. "Selphie could be coming back at any minute. I'll need that back."

She made a lunge for the towel but he held onto her, and the struggle became a small wrestling match for the towel. As soon as one wrist was free, Quistis would make a grab, but then he'd secure her arm and pull her back. She was completely overwhelmed by his strength and there was no way she could outmatch him, but she giggled and tried to wriggle free anyway.

"Damn, you're like a pretzel," Seifer grinned. "Hold still. There's arms and legs flying all over the place."

"Hmph. Testosterone is only going to get you so far, buster - "

"Oh, we'll see how far it takes me - "

"You better be careful. I've got nails. I swear I'll scratch you in the face and give you another scar."

"Yeah? I'll pinch your ass. I'll _bite_ your ass."

"Seifer - " Quistis was stuck, but they were both laughing. He had both her wrists and had wrapped his muscular arms around her body. He fell backwards, slowly pulling her into the bed. Her back was to him and even though she still fought against him, he simply squeezed harder.

"Victory is mine, you gangly harpy. Hold still and I'll go easy on you. Hyne. This is making me think of all sorts of positions - "

"Seifer!"

"Seriously. Haven't you ever read that book about the history and art of sexual pleasure, or some shit - "

"Get your mind out of the gutter."

"I swear it's in the library!" He snorted out a laugh. "Just ask Chicken-wuss - "

"I don't doubt that _you'd_ come across something like that," she rolled her eyes. "Studying hard as always, I see."

"Always with you in mind, instructor," he gave her a devlish grin.

She turned pink and couldn't help but smile. Even though he had used the nickname, it was in a completely different tone; it was full of admiration. She finally relaxed against him, sighing. As Seifer eased his embrace, they lay there silently. He kissed her shoulder and relaxed on the pillow. His eyes fell on the red thong hanging over the edge of her clothesbasket in the closet.

"Quis."

"Hm?"

"…Just how long have you had panties like that?"

She grew pink again, even though he couldn't see her expression. "…Why?"

"Because. That's fucking sexy. Do you wear those all the time?"

She bit her lip and shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe."

It drove him nuts to think that maybe, all the while she was teaching class, she could have worn something scandalous underneath. _Mmmmmmmmmmmmhhhhh. _"Seriously, though? You just go to bed in a thong like that?"

"Why are you so curious?"

"I just am!"

"Not all the time, Seifer."

"But on nights like last night, huh?"

She gritted her teeth. "I don't…know what you mean."

He licked his lips and grinned, feeling pleased that perhaps she changed into a thong in hopes of seeing him again. "Were you thinking about me?"

Quistis shifted a bit, feeling embarrassed. "What?"

"You heard me."

"What does that have to do with panties?"

"It has everything to do with panties."

Quistis rolled her eyes. Everyone was suddenly a panty expert.

He turned his face into her neck and grinned again, knowing that her silence meant yes.

"…Do you have more?" he finally asked in a low voice.

"…Maybe."

Another yes.

"…Will you try them on for me?"

"…Eventually."

Definitely yes.

His hands slowly started to wander. "You didn't answer my question. How long have you had panties like that?"

"I've always had panties, Seifer - "

"Not panties that scream 'fuck me.'"

She immediately stiffened at his words. "If you're implying that I wore those in order to purposely come off as some floozy waiting around with my legs open - "

"Whoa! Hey! Relax! That's not what I meant, and you _know_ it," his tone grew slightly angry. "And if _you're_ implying that I just dropped by for a quick lay - "

"Of course not," Quistis interrupted him softly, rolling over to face him. "No. I know. I'm sorry."

He sighed and set his jaw. She lifted a hand to the back of his head and started to softly comb her fingernails through his hair. She looked up at him and gave him a shy smile.

"…I guess I'm just not used to trying to impress guys with lingerie."

He glanced at her and the soft furrow in his brow slowly disappeared as a tiny grin appeared at the corner of his mouth. "Well, for a first-timer, you didn't do half bad."

She shifted closer to him. "I suppose there's room for improvement?"

"I'll have to do a thorough inspection."

She grinned and nestled even closer. There was a pause before Seifer spoke again.

"So…? Where'd you get 'em?"

"Well…remember when I was gone for a few days, earlier in the week?"

"…Yeah?"

"I went to Balamb. I wanted to do some shopping."

He blinked at her. "Shopping."

"Mm-hmm."

"Shopping in Balamb?"

Quistis bit her lip and smiled up at him. "For some new panties."

He arched a brow in surprise. "_That's_ where you were?"

"Yeah."

"I thought you were working on your tribunal report."

"Well, I was. I went to a few cafés to be alone, and where I could concentrate. But that's not entirely what I went to Balamb for."

"What made you go and do that?"

She wasn't about to tell him that Selphie and Rinoa were the ones directly responsible, nor was she willing to admit they'd had a conversation about him. Plus, the tribunal report kept forcing her to think about him, which would lead her to think about the conversation about panties. It was a vicious cycle.

She shrugged. "I was…I…I had to…" She sighed and finished quickly, "I told you. I had a lot on my mind."

He let out a chuckle. "Oh yeah? Like what?"

"Nothing."

"No, not nothing. You don't just up and leave for two days to shop for cock bait."

Her jaw dropped. "Seifer - "

"_Someone_ was on your mind," he grinned at her.

"Yeah? Who do you think?" she met his gaze, as if to challenge him.

_Oh, baby._

He held her closer. "You went out and got panties for me?"

She shrugged. "Well…not _all_ for you…partially for me, too. It's sort of liberating…like a change of pace…"

"But you were thinking about me."

She bit her lip and rolled her eyes, pretending to act nonchalant. "Yes, Seifer, I was thinking about you - "

He immediately cut her off with a hard, intense kiss. She smiled into his lips and kissed him back, wrapping her arms around him. The kiss rapidly grew heavy and heated as Seifer slowly traced her hips, midriff, and inner thighs with one hand…

Quistis moaned and used her own hand to caress past his belly button, even lower…

He groaned and rolled on top of her, lowering his head to kiss her neck…

_Knock, knock, knock._

"Mmmrrrph. No. Fuck. Terrible fucking timing," he growled in between kisses.

"You said you were hungry," Quistis whispered. "Now I have to answer the door."

"I'm not hungry for food now," he shifted closer and gave her another deep kiss.

Quistis reluctantly pulled away. "Not now," she breathed. "Seifer, wait…"

He loved it when she said his name in that voice. The voice that was low and husky and begging for more without begging. It was full of desire and somehow led him around on a string without even a command.

"Just let her stand out there," he groaned as he shifted his hips closer to her. "She'll take the hint."

Quistis shifted with him without hesitation, letting him take her, even though her words said otherwise. "No, I can't do that to her…Seifer…"

He silenced her with another deep kiss and he moved against her. Using one leg, he spread hers wider.

Quistis came up for air and moaned in his ear. "Not now. We have to stop. I don't want anyone to hear anything - "

"I don't give a shit if they hear _everything_," he lowered into her and she exhaled with a soft whimper.

She nearly lowered her defenses and stopped her protesting, letting his mouth engulf hers and submitting to him as he went deeper until the knocking interrupted them again, coming much louder and much more impatient.

_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. KNOCKNOCKNOCKNOCKNOCKNOCK!!!!!!!!!_

Seifer's eyes shot open and he lowered his head against Quistis's neck in defeat as she gave a startled jump and moved out from under him, yelping, "Coming, Selphie!"

He was breathing hard and slammed his head into her pillow, face-down, well aware of the uncomfortable bulge between his legs, left alone, cold and forgotten. He pulled up the sheets to his waist, emitting a muffled curse.

"I swear you're a fucking succubus."

Quistis found her bathrobe this time around, quickly threw it on, making sure it was secure, trotted to the door, and pressed the _open_ button.

"Hi, Selphie."

"_What_ is going on in there?" Selphie grinned mischievously, pretending to act annoyed.

Quistis rolled her eyes. "Nothing."

"Hmph." Selphie made a face. "It totally smells like sex in there."

"Selphie, not only is that completely disgusting and inappropriate, but it is also _absolutely_ uncalled for."

"I'm _kidding_, Quisty! Lighten _up_, will you? Besides – you didn't deny it!"

Quistis rolled her eyes again.

Selphie handed her two large bags. "Here you go. The works. They were in the middle of transitioning lunch to dinner so I managed to snag a crapton of stuff…I think there's some sandwiches in there…uh, fruit, salad, cookies, soda-pop, potato chips, slices of pizza, protein bars, some broccoli, chicken - "

"Broccoli?"

"Well, yeah. It's good for you. You need your vitamins."

Quistis blinked.

"Anyway, it's all there. Should be enough for you and the hunky blonde eating machine," Selphie winked.

"Thanks Selphie," Quistis took the food and hesitated. "Um…so…what did the others say?"

Selphie frowned. "Say about what?"

Quistis gave her an expression that read, _'uh, it should be obvious.'_ "About _us_, Selphie. I'm sure you told all of them."

"Oh! Yeah, they all saw it coming," Selphie waved a hand nonchalantly. "It's not like this is big news, Quisty. Everyone's relieved that you've finally opened your eyes. You two were pretty slow on the uptake, if you know what I mean."

Quistis blinked again, not knowing whether or not she should smile and agree or feel insulted.

_Did everyone know except for me? Hyne. How pathetic is that?_

"Er…oh. Okay. Well…as long as nobody's angry about it…"

"Angry? Why would we be angry?"

Quistis shrugged and was about to reply when Selphie held up a hand to interrupt her.

"Look, Quisty. You're _happy_, aren't you? I mean, you're finally getting something that _you_ want, right? Something that _you_ both deserve. So, who are we to tell you what you should and shouldn't do? Even if someone doesn't agree with your personal decisions, who cares? You can't please everyone. It's _your_ life and he's _your_ love. Cherish it."

Quistis turned pink and looked at the floor, but she couldn't help but grin.

"I mean, can you just imagine what Squall and Rinoa are going through right now?" Selphie crossed her arms and shook her head. "I know the Headmaster is keeping everything under wraps…and we'll keep it a secret…but…pretty soon I think people are going to find out she's a sorceress. And then it'll be no picnic. Same goes to the Heamaster and Matron."

Quistis nodded grimly.

"But you know what? All of that controversy and crap won't break them apart, because they have each other and they have us. That's all that matters."

Quistis smiled. "You're right, Selphie. How did you get so wise beyond your years?"

Selphie beamed. "I have my moments, don't I?"

"You sure do."

"Well…enjoy that," Selphie motioned to the food. "We'll be looking forward to seeing you two out in broad daylight sometime!"

Quistis smiled. "Right."

Selphie grinned and waved as she walked away. "See ya later, Quisty!"

"Bye, Selphie. And…thanks."

"No problem!" Selphie was almost out of earshot and Quistis nearly closed the door when she swirled around and chirped, "Ooo! Hey! Quisty! I forgot to ask you something!"

Quistis's head poked out of her doorway and she raised an eyebrow. "What?"

Selphie looked around, leaned forward, and put her hand up to the side of her mouth, as if to keep anyone else from eavesdropping. In a sharp whisper, she hissed, "Did you wear some special panties?"

Quistis rolled her eyes but she smiled and nodded.

Selphie let out a tiny squeal and did a little jig. "Yay! So proud of you!"

"I'll see you around, Selphie," Quistis waved her away, still smiling, and closed the door.

**_. . . _**

Once they were finished eating, they both lay together in contented silence. To Quistis, it was a perfect day. She didn't do any work. She didn't read. She didn't fight. She didn't really speak to anyone about classes, battle tactics, politics, or the weather. She didn't even turn on the television. Despite the lack of activity she would normally do any other day, she was perfectly happy how the day had gone. Something new had entered her life – Seifer Almasy – and now her routine was going to be unpredictable. She was excited about it. Further, he seemed to have no intention of leaving, and his full attention was focused on her. She'd never once experienced this amount of affection before – especially when the feelings were mutual – and she completely reveled in all its glory. It was something that happened in a fairytale, and it was something she never thought she'd ever be able to have, touch, or feel.

But he was here. With her. To stay.

She found herself thinking about her future – which she'd mulled over more than once – but her plans had suddenly shifted. Her future involved someone else now to share it with. Her future no longer had the bleak prospect of her ending up alone.

Then she started to wonder about the past, and why Seifer had acted so callous towards her. Irvine had said it was for attention – it was always for attention – but Seifer had never exactly been pleasant to be around. Did he really care for her, after all those years? Even though he acted differently?

"_We're looking forward to seeing you two out in broad daylight sometime,"_ Selphie had said.

Quistis suddenly wondered how Seifer would act around everyone. She wondered if they could ever eat in the cafeteria together, study in the library together, or even walk through the quad together without anything dramatic happening. Like a fight.

Probably not.

She bit her lip. She had no idea how to act in a relationship. She was never in one. To be in a relationship with someone who was renowned as the most volatile, temperamental, and domineering SeeDs in Balamb Garden was going to be interesting, to say the least.

_Oh well. It's not like I don't know what to expect from him._

But she wasn't going to give up Selphie, Irvine, Squall, Rinoa, or Zell, either. They had all become incredibly close during the war, and she knew that a brawl between one of them was imminent. Seifer, at least, had made it adamantly clear that he wouldn't ever sit at their table, nor would he interact regularly with the rest of them. She wasn't going to choose between them, but she didn't want to be caught in the middle, either.

"You know…" she started, but trailed off.

He glanced at her.

She shrugged, treading the subject lightly. "At some point in time, our friends are going to want to talk to you about - "

"_Your_ friends," Seifer corrected her again.

Quistis sighed. "Seifer, don't. They're your friends too. We all grew up in the orphanage together, for Hyne's sake. Stop denying how close we were to all of them."

"Are you kidding?" Seifer raised an eyebrow at her. "You didn't even _know_ we were all close until you stopped junctioning GFs! When did you guys finally figure it out?"

Quistis fell silent.

"Besides, it's been over ten years since everyone split up," Seifer added. "Things change. We grew up. You and Squall didn't seem to want to have anything to do with me, anyway."

Quistis's jaw dropped. "That's not true, Seifer! _You_ could have been a little friendlier to us! It never helped that you were always so mean about everything."

"What else would you expect?" he retorted angrily. "You all _forgot_ about me!"

She swallowed, suddenly realizing what he meant. Seifer was the only cadet who refused to junction a GF. Feeling embarrassed and ashamed, she glanced up at him sympathetically and gently took his hand. She scooted closer and put her forehead against his. He was avoiding her gaze, but he let out a sigh.

"Seifer…I'm so sorry," she whispered.

He responded with a weak shrug and squeezed her hand.

There was a long pause before she spoke again.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" she asked him softly. "Why didn't you ever say anything? Why didn't you try to remind me or Squall about the orphanage? About Cid and Edea?"

"I did, once or twice. When you came to Garden, we were both ten…I think Squall was still nine…but we all hung out together, just like at the orphanage. Squall and I would always get into fights and you'd always break us up, but…once we turned fifteen, it was time for our first SeeD field exam. You followed protocol and junctioned a GF, but I didn't. I just didn't want to, which is mostly why I failed the first time. That's when you started forgetting. It didn't take Squall long, either, before he completely forgot about the orphanage. After that…I don't know…we started to drift away. I still bugged the shit out of Squall, and you still tried to break us up…but neither of you really remembered why. And whenever I tried to bring it up, I just got blank stares from you. That's what sort of pissed me off, I guess. That you just forgot, and that you didn't give a shit. At least, that's what I thought. I didn't really know about the GF amnesia effect until later on in class, when we were older. By then, I just…gave up. I figured that there wasn't much of a point trying to remind you. You and Squall would move on as SeeDs without childhood memories…and I'd be left behind." Seifer shrugged. "I sort of got used to that mindset."

She closed her eyes and licked her lips, angry at herself. For the longest time, Seifer had been a pain in the ass and picked fights for a reason – he was angry at all of them. It was evident that he was disturbed by something, but Quistis never realized what.

Until now.

Seifer Almasy always held his own, but hearing the story in his own words…it sounded incredibly sad to her.

Tears pricked at her eyes. _I can't believe we were that blind. He was our family and we left him alone._

"Are you going to cry?"

She opened her eyes to find him smirking at her.

"You're going to cry, aren't you?"

She licked her lips again and feigned a frown. "No."

"Liar. Your eyes are watering."

"Seifer - "

"What are you crying for?"

She narrowed her eyes and the sting of tears was immediately gone. Strange, how he had that effect. One minute she was about to gush over him, the next she was annoyed with him. "I am _not_ crying."

"You were about to."

"How do _you_ know?"

"I just know."

She set her jaw and emitted an annoyed sigh. "…I'm just upset with myself, that's all. I'm just…angry. I had family here – the entire time – and I was just too stupid to realize it."

There was a long pause.

She glanced up at him and her lip quivered. "I had _you_. I had you the whole time and I didn't even know it."

He gently hugged her, resting his chin on top of her head.

"Hyne. How could I not know? You must think I'm such an idiot," she sighed.

After another brief pause, he chuckled.

She blinked and narrowed her eyes. "Are you laughing at me?"

"Well, yeah. You always blame yourself for shit that's beyond your control."

She lifted her head up and glared at him. "What?"

"It's not like it's _your_ fault you got GF amnesia. Everyone had that side effect."

"Well, excuse _me_ for feeling sorry for you. I take it back. Besides, _you_ blamed me plenty of times about it…hypocrite."

He grinned wider. "Yeah. I did, didn't I?"

She sighed again. "I just wish I'd have known. Things would have been different."

He glanced at her, wondering what she meant at that statement. How would things have been different? Did she like him before the war? Did she like him in class? At the orphanage…? Did she like him just as much as he liked her…throughout the years?

"You really _did_ follow me onto the train like a lovesick, bumbling idiot, didn't you?"

She bit her lip and hid a smirk. "Did not. Shut up."

He grinned down at her. "You couldn't let me go."

"Shut up! So what?!"

_Aw, fuuuuck yeah. Score._

He chuckled and hugged her tighter. "Well…even though you didn't have your memories…you gotta admit…in class…those were good times."

"For _you_, maybe. You forget that I was the one who had to put up with all of it."

"You _liked_ giving me detention. Admit it."

"There was nothing I enjoyed about punishing you, Seifer."

"I'll bet it was a power trip for you. You got off on it secretly, didn't you?"

"Honestly, no. I was upset that you never wanted to listen to me. There was _nothing_ I could do to get you to listen."

"Oh, I listened to you."

"You did?"

"How could I not? Every single day, it was nag, nag, _nag!_"

She narrowed her eyes and punched him playfully in the arm.

He chuckled. "Yeah, I listened, believe it or not. I just didn't follow the rules."

She smiled at that. "You can say that again. How did you manage to come up with all those pranks? Do you _research_ ways to bother people?"

"Is that your nerdy way of saying that I'm creative?"

She laughed. "Maybe."

"Do you remember the time I flicked semi-frozen globs of Bio across the room? _That_ got some people puking."

"Yes, I remember. I can't believe you did that. Bio is a very dangerous spell. You're lucky you didn't poison anyone."

"Oh, it was a level one spell. It was funny, admit it."

"It was _not_ funny."

"C'mon. When that fucking Trepie leader got all green in the face – you know who I'm talking about; the one who wouldn't leave you the fuck alone and passed notes around the class about you – when he got sick and started blowing chunks in the hallway, you can't deny that wasn't funny."

"I suppose you targeted him _randomly_ with that Bio spell, then?"

He snorted. "Fuck, no. I was _aiming_ for that son of a bitch. Mission accomplished."

Quistis glanced up at him and blinked. There was a long pause before she nestled her head back into the crook of his neck again. For a minute there, it had sounded that Seifer was almost…watching over her.

"…What do you mean he passed notes around? What did they say?"

Seifer set his jaw. "Regular Trepie bullshit. Nothing important."

"…Like what?"

Seifer remained silent, not wanting to elaborate. Most of the time, the notes were really stupid and had stuff written in them like, 'if you believe Instructor Trepe is hot, add your tally!' Other times it was recruiting messages for the Trepie fan club. A few notes, however, included elaborate drawings. Insensitive, perverted, immature drawings. Squall usually passed the notes to Seifer without even looking at them, uninterested as always. Seifer policed the notes secretly, however, and usually targeted the note-bearer in the hallways afterwards, using his disciplinary committee powers to persecute the little bastard.

"…Stuff."

She lifted her head up again and examined him. "What stuff?"

Anger flashed through his green eyes as he looked at her. "…Stuff that shouldn't be written about you."

She swallowed and felt a flutter through her chest. Even now, his piercing gaze still had that effect.

"Oh. I saw a note or two being passed around before, but I didn't think it was anything serious."

"Yeah, well…those notes annoyed the royal hell out of me. I was trying to learn," he gave her a smug grin.

"Hm. I bet you were." She knew he was trying to hide it, but she noticed the streak of protectiveness slip out. She thought about the instance a few weeks back when a student was standing outside in the hallway, waiting to ask her a question. Seifer immediately scared him off, claiming that annoying Trepies pissed him off. It was evident that he didn't want them hanging around her, and before the war, it was fairly common he'd get caught in a fistfight with a few of them.

Come to think of it, Seifer _really_ hated Trepies, and the Trepies _really_ hated Seifer.

She smiled. Now she knew why.

The sun had gone down long ago and they were lying together in the dim lamp light, reflecting silently on everything that had happened. Quistis decided to abandon the subject about the rest of the orphanage gang, figuring that things would work out on their own. Seifer was on his back with one arm around Quistis, and his eyelids slowly started to droop. Quistis snuggled up against him and let out a sigh, closing her eyes. Suddenly, after the extended silence, the entire room seemed to shift and a soft hum reverberated outside. The glass of her lamp clinked softly as the floor shook briefly, then all grew quiet again.

"…The hell?" Seifer mumbled groggily.

"I think we're moving," Quistis replied.

"…Oh. To Esthar, huh?"

She nodded silently.

"Hm."

She slowly lifted her head up and faced him. "…Are you ready for the tribunal?"

He closed his eyes sleepily and shrugged. "Yeah. I guess. Cid said that nothing major will happen, anyway."

"It shouldn't."

"Hmph. Then why go through with it?"

"It's necessary to inform the other militaries and other Gardens what happened. To answer questions."

"Fuckin' dog and pony show," Seifer grumbled.

Quistis kissed his forehead. "You'll do fine."

He shifted, eyes still closed, and sighed. "Yeah. I'm not worried. After all the shit that's happened…"

She waited for him to speak some more, but he trailed off. There was a long pause, and for a moment, she thought he'd fallen asleep, but he finally let out a sigh and murmured, "I've got you. Nothing scares me now."

**_. . ._**

A week later, Seifer, Squall, and Quistis were standing in a large corridor, dressed in their professional SeeD uniforms, watching silently as other members of the court and employees bustled back and forth, delivering files and sending messages. The large courthouse of Esthar was decorated with white marble pillars, the floors were buffed to a shine, statues of important judicial figures stared out at the crowds, and the hall echoed with footsteps and voices. There were several courtrooms; the building was huge, after all. The three SeeDs were standing outside the door of a courtroom meant to be private and strictly for military business.

Squall had wanted to see Ellone the minute Garden landed in Esthar, but Laguna insisted that they would all get the chance after the tribunal was over. Ellone was well again, from what Laguna had said – walking, talking, laughing, and had all of her memories. She had asked about Squall and the rest of the group several times, and even asked about Seifer, Fujin, and Raijin. For most of the week, the preparation for the tribunal was easygoing and somewhat relaxing; Seifer and Quistis were able to walk around Esthar and tour the city to spend time away from work.

As they toured the city, however, it was evident that Seifer harbored no love for the Estharian government.

"Kinda pisses me off," Seifer said in a low voice as they had made their way to the city square.

"…What?" Quistis stopped walking and gazed up at him.

He looked around the brilliant blue city, up towards the tall buildings, then around at the passing cabs and magnetic rails. "That Esthar has all this technology…all this equipment…all the manpower…and they didn't really step in and do anything."

Quistis sighed and looked around, following his gaze. "I think…President Loire was just trying to do what was best for his people. Involving them could have made things worse. Matron could have been killed."

"Laguna Loire is a fucking gutless coward," Seifer scowled. "They _knew_ Ultimecia was out there. They _knew_ it would only be a matter of time. They didn't do _shit_. They were _hiding_."

Quistis stepped forward and took his hand softly. "After the tribunal, all that will change."

He set his jaw. "…Yeah. It better."

For the most part, the two of them were able to spend plenty of time together – time that they had missed out on so much. Squall, however, seemed slightly uptight and agitated whenever they saw him, obviously angry about not being able to see Ellone, sequestering Rinoa inside Garden away from the politicians, and being forced to interact with the president daily.

At one point, Seifer grinned and teased, "If I looked like Laguna Loire, I'd want to jump off a bridge too, Pueby."

Squall simply glared at him and replied, "Whatever."

Now, they were all waiting silently for Xu and Headmaster Cid. Seifer crossed his arms and leaned up against a marble pillar, stealing a glance at Quistis's legs. To his ultimate delight, she was wearing a pair of black pumps to appear more professional, however, she had her hair up and she was wearing her reading glasses. She glanced at him and gave him a disapproving look after catching him ogling her.

He gave her a smug grin.

She hid a smile and turned away, scanning the crowd for the rest of their Balamb teammates.

Finally, Xu could be seen emerging from the crowds of people and strode up towards the group, wearing a SeeD uniform with black pumps that matched Quistis's. Seifer stared at her in shock. She'd put on some light makeup and even slid a barette into her short hair so one side would be tucked behind her ear.

He grinned and crossed his arms, looking her up and down. "Damn, Xu. Who are you trying to impress?"

Xu shrugged and grinned.

Seifer put a hand to his chin. "I have to say…I didn't know you could actually accomplish this, but I think that after being all dolled up you look even _uglier_ than ever."

Her smile faded and she narrowed her eyes at him. "I could change my testimony, you know."

"Okay, okay," Seifer seemed to back down and held up his hands in defeat. "But in all seriousness, Xu, I like what you've done with your hair. It really brings out your sideburns."

Squall turned his attention elsewhere, pretending to ignore them; however, he simply wanted to hide his smirk.

Xu crossed her arms. "Keep it up, asshole. I'll forge documents about what you _really_ did in the D-district prison. All I need are a few paid-off convicts and soap on a rope."

Seifer's eyes narrowed slightly, although he kept his grin, and he was about to retort a nasty comment when Quistis stepped in.

"Xu, have you seen Cid?" she asked.

"He's on his way," she nodded. "He'll be here shortly. Have you seen anyone else arrive?"

"A few from Trabia," Squall nodded. "General Caraway's in there, too."

"I'm sure President Loire and his aides are already seated," Quistis added.

"I wonder how long this thing is gonna last," Xu replied in a low voice. She glanced at Seifer and shrugged at his scowl. "Not that I'd mind seeing you squirm in the hot seat…but I've got more important things to attend to. You understand, don't you?"

"Perfectly," Seifer grinned darkly. "A sex-change operation is no easy feat. You're really brave for wanting to go through with it, Xu, although I don't think they'll have much to work with. Give Dr. Odine my regards when you see him."

"Here I am," Cid suddenly showed up out of nowhere, emerging from a bustling crowd. He was dressed in the Balamb SeeD regalia, adorned with several pins indicating his status as the Headmaster. "Shall we go in?"

They all nodded curtly.

Cid stepped forward and gave Seifer's back a brief pat. "You'll go to the front of the room and a bailiff will escort you to the front dais. It's a separate platform next to the panel's seating arrangement."

Seifer nodded stiffly.

"Don't worry, Seifer. Everyone in that courtroom's got your back."

Seifer glanced at Squall, Xu, and Quistis. They all nodded solemnly.

Getting support from Xu and Squall was weird. It also felt good. It was the first time in a long time he felt he was actually back on a Balamb SeeD team.

"Ready?" Cid stepped forward and opened the double doors. "Here we go."

Xu slipped in next to Seifer and gave him a mischievous smirk. "Scared, Almasy?"

He glanced at her and shrugged. "I've got a man-eating bitch like you on the Balamb bench. What could go wrong?"

She faced forward to head inside, but she was grinning. Seifer had just given her a compliment.

Once Quistis, Squall, and Xu were seated next to Cid, Squall started to look around. Laguna Loire was already seated with his administration – Ward, Kiros, and a few politicians Squall didn't recognize – a few benches back and to the left. The entire courtroom was set up as a half-moon shape; the seating more like stadium seating than anything else. Yet, it was a small intimate room with tables in front of each bench. Xu and Cid immediately started to unload their paperwork and files, rifling through each set, while Quistis sat patiently and Squall glanced around discreetly.

General Caraway was seated with a few other Galbadian politicians behind the Balamb bench, and they were murmuring to each other softly. Headmaster Martine and his second-in-command, Zavier, entered the courtroom shortly after the Balamb team did and took their seats a few rows away from Squall. The Trabian bench was further away, next to Martine and Zavier.

In addition to the main representatives all involved in the war, other politicians and military personnel were present as well. A few were from the country of Trabia, a few were from Dollet, and –

Squall nearly emitted a disgusted grunt.

Mayor Dobe from Fisherman's Horizon was seated towards the middle.

_Good grief._

"All rise."

Everyone in the courtroom stood as the seven panel members, each wearing distinguished military uniforms from their respective country, took their seats and started to flip through a few files.

"The honorable judges Bancroft and Zuke from the Dollet Dukedom Parliament - "

The two panel members nodded curtly.

"- Littman and Roser from the country of Trabia - "

The two Trabians acknowledged the courtroom with nods.

"Juno from Esthar - "

The panel member put on a pair of glasses and glanced up at the courtroom.

"- and Hirbisch and Pike from the country of Galbadia," the bailiff finished. "All seven honorable panel members will be presiding over this courtroom and proper respect will be given at all times. The defendant on the stand is Seifer Almasy, SeeD rank 26, from Balamb Garden. You may be seated."

Everyone sat down except for Seifer, who was sitting in a separate seat elevated at the front of the courtroom, near the panel. The bailiff walked over to Seifer and instructed him to raise his right hand.

"SeeD Almasy, under penalty of perjury, do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, under all circumstances, when addressed by the panel here today?"

"I do."

"You may be seated."

"We have here a full and complete list documenting the events of what is now called the Second Sorceress War," the head Galbadian panel member said in a gruff tone, slipping on a pair of glasses and glancing at a piece of paper. "I trust that everyone has questions about these events; and rightly so, but like any other court carried out in the democratic countries of Esthar, Galbadia, and Trabia, we'll follow tradition here and listen to all sides of the argument. While someone is speaking in the courtroom, he has the floor. Once he is finished, he must stand down and allow someone else to speak. It is my understanding that representatives of all three Gardens are present in this courtroom today, as well as representatives from all countries affected by the war?"

A unanimous "yes, your honor" reverberated throughout the courtroom.

"Good. Let's get to the heart of the matter, then, and I believe we should address the primary cause of the war first. General Fury Caraway, you have the floor."

The General stood up and cleared his throat. "As you know, your honors, the attack on Dollet was in fact led by Galbadian soliers in order to gain control of the satellite; however, the order to attack was given by the late President Vinzer Deling without the approval of the senate and without my knowledge. It was an independent action not condoned by the country of Galbadia, which is why Galbadian and Balamb SeeDs were asked to intervene."

"And Vinzer Deling was, at the time, under the influence of an unknown force at the time – now determined as the sorceress – is that correct, general?"

"Yes, sir. Then, of course, Vinzer Deling was murdered," General Caraway nodded. "After which the sorceress, appointed ambassador at the time – also without the consent of the sentate – then gave full control of the Galbadian army to Seifer Almasy, a cadet from Balamb Garden, who was actually an undercover SeeD that managed to infiltrate the ranks and gain her trust."

"Why didn't the sorceress contact you, general, or force you to lead the army?"

The general looked embarrassed. "After a failed assassination attempt, sir, she ordered my execution. I remained hidden from her and tried to give SeeD Almasy support as much as I could."

"Mm," the Galbadian panel member nodded and flipped through a few pages. "Within a few weeks of the sorceress's takeover, Galbadia Garden was targeted next, correct?"

General Caraway sat down as Martine stood. "That is correct, your honor."

"Identify yourself before the panel, please, strictly for record."

"Martine Dodonna, Headmaster of Galbadia Garden."

"Noted."

"We were expecting the sorceress to arrive with an envoy to take Galbadia Garden by force," Martine continued, "however, bloodshed was avoided due to actions taken on SeeD Almasy's behalf."

"Such as?" The second Galbadian panel member sat forward.

"He arrived before the sorceress's escort and warned us of her arrival," Martine explained. "We evacuated Garden before she could track us and as a result, hundreds of lives were spared."

"Where did you go, Headmaster?"

"In the field, your honor, until further notice. Heading towards the city would have exposed my cadets."

"Hrm. Is there an eyewitness that would concur?"

Zavier stood up and Martine sat down. "I do, sir."

"State your name, please, cadet."

"SeeD Zavier Clay, second-in-command of Galbadia Garden, your honor."

"Noted. Please continue."

"Although I never had direct contact with SeeD Almasy, it was clear that he was acting in the best interests of Garden at that time. He had the manpower and the force to take Galbadia Garden out with one swift attack, yet he did not. Instead, he allowed us to withdraw and take cover before the sorceress arrived, saving hundreds of lives in the process."

"And you can confirm that this wasn't a ploy to take control of Galbadia Garden?"

"Yes, sir. He could have taken control of Galbadia Garden either way, but he chose to do so without force."

A Trabian official stood up. "How do we know that the entire nation of Galbadia wasn't in league with the sorceress and they simply stood aside? How do we know that the Galbadian Garden wasn't assisting the Knight and the sorceress?"

Seifer tensed. _Here we fuckin' go._ Fuck, he hated those damn nicknames.

"Because I can fully attest that my army was _not_ allied to the sorceress," General Caraway stood up, slightly angry at the accusation. "As you know, she took everything by force and threatened mass murders if they did not comply. We had no choice but to rely on SeeD Almasy's judgment - "

"Why didn't the Galbadian army simply take the sorceress down?" a Dollet parliament member on the panel suddenly asked.

"She possessed immense power," Caraway replied calmly. "Turning on her would simply have fueled her wrath and possibly could have led to more deaths – and we're talking catastrophic proportions, your honor, equaling a holocaust. It is my belief that SeeD Almasy did everything he could to ensure that didn't happen by pretending to be her ally and leading my army at the same time."

The head panel member glanced at Headmaster Martine. "Martine?"

As Caraway sat down, Martine stood up and showed the panel a piece of paper. "I have here the correspondence from Cid Kramer, Headmaster of Balamb Garden, which states that SeeD Almasy was undercover during his time with the sorceress, which is dated three months before the siege of Galbadia Garden. Zavier and I have known that he was undercover and I assure you that we were not in league with the sorceress. The senate can attest to that, as can General Caraway."

A courier walked up and took the piece of paper from Martine, handing it to the head of the panel. He examined it and passed it to the other members, then leaned forward.

"General?"

Caraway stood up as Martine sat down. "That is correct, sir. I also have a copy of the correspondence from Cid Kramer, which states the same. I knew that SeeD Almasy was undercover. We allowed the sorceress to take control of Galbadia Garden because it was the only way to save lives at the time. We also trusted the judgment of SeeD Almasy."

"How are we to be sure that the sorceress remained alive – not because of her overwhelming powers, but because of…" a Galbadian panel member trailed off and tried to find the words as he eyed Cid. "…other matters? Matters that could have clouded that judgment?"

Seifer narrowed his eyes. General Caraway glanced at Cid warily and slowly sat down.

"What matters, your honor?" Headmaster Cid stood up and replied flatly, knowing full well what the panel was getting at.

"Your name, please, for the record."

"Cid Kramer, Headmaster of Balamb Garden."

"Noted."

"I have a letter from the former Shumi Garden Master Norg, which states that Edea Kramer, your wife, was the sorceress," the Galbadian panel member lifted up a sheet of paper and passed it to another panel member, who glanced over it and passed it down.

There were some gasps and murmurs throughout the hall and people started to whisper to each other.

Squall stiffened. _Hyne. We should have known. With him running loose, banished by the tribe, he'd try anything to make money, including extortion. I should've killed that piece of shit when I had the chance._

Seifer set his jaw and glanced towards the Balamb bench. Quistis sat there, expressionless, but he knew by her posture she was angry. Squall appeared agitated as well. Xu looked livid. Cid, however, remained calm as he cleared his throat adjusted his glasses.

"That is correct."

There were more hushed murmurs as Martine and Zavier exchanged glances, then Martine glanced at Caraway.

The panel member glanced at the general. "General Caraway, have you had knowledge about this fact?"

The General stood up reluctantly. "Not until recently, your honor."

"And you, Headmaster Martine?"

Martine stood up and shook his head. "No, sir. It was only until after the public broadcast of her debut in Deling City that I found out it was Edea Kramer." He cast an apologetic glance at Cid as he sat down.

"Headmaster Kramer, why did you not explicitly state that the sorceress was your wife in your correspondence to General Caraway and the Galbadian Garden Headmaster?"

Cid stared at the panel, rigid and expressionless. After a long pause, he replied, "I believe that if I would have revealed that fact…it simply would have made matters worse. It was better that her identity remained anonymous…in order for the SeeD teams to perform their jobs without…distractions. Only SeeD Almasy knew of her identity. The other SeeD specialists did not."

"However, doesn't this suggest that there could have been a conflict of interest in SeeD Almasy's mission?" another Galbadian panel member leaned forward. "That he delayed the elimination of sorceress Edea because he knew that, in fact, she was your wife? Did you give him specific orders to protect her? To protect a murderer?"

Seifer shot up and glared at the panel member, snarling, "Are you accusing me of being a _willing_ accomplice to murder?!"

"Seifer - " Cid held out a hand.

"Order!" the lead panel member immediately slammed his gavel down. "SeeD Almasy, sit down!"

"She didn't have a choice!"

"Order!"

"Killing her would have killed us all!" Seifer snapped.

"Seifer!" Cid barked.

Seifer set his jaw and sat down, glaring angrily at the panel.

"Would you care to elaborate on that last statement, SeeD Almasy?" the head panel member asked, removing his glasses and looking as if he had a headache. "What did you mean by that?"

There was a pause. Seifer glanced towards the Esthar bench and met Laguna's gaze. Laguna gave him a curt nod.

"Edea was possessed by Ultimecia. She wasn't in control of her own powers, and because she was possessed, assassinating her wouldn't have done any good," Seifer explained gruffly. "Ultimecia would have found…another body. Someone else."

The courtroom was silent for a moment as his explanation took effect.

"Is there evidence to back this claim?" a panel member asked softly.

Squall stiffened for a moment, feeling a surge of panic rush through his spine. Suddenly, he was afraid for Rinoa. Would it be revealed that she was possessed, too? That Matron's powers had passed to her? If the militaries knew, what would they do to her? What would General Caraway do? Laguna was already doing everything he could to keep it all under wraps.

Squall glanced at Seifer. Seifer was eyeing him. He seemed to know what Squall was thinking…yet he remained silent. He wasn't going to mention anything about Rinoa.

Luckily, Laguna Loire stood up. "Laguna Loire, President of Esthar, your honors. If I may. Research performed on the sorceress by Dr. Odine was submitted by our administration," he motioned to the stack of files sitting in a pile before the panel. "It's explained in his proposal. We also believe that Ultimecia was the one controlling Adel years ago, at least for a time. Until we saw Ultimecia manifest herself through Edea did we really know for sure that she was capable of transferring her consciousness into others, through time."

The panel seemed to accept his explanation and there was another short pause. Squall let out a small sigh of relief. Thankfully, Rinoa had been left out of it.

"Headmaster Cid, did you know that your wife was possessed by Ultimecia?" a panel member asked.

Laguna sat down and Cid stood up. "No, your honor. Not right away. She simply…disappeared...but I knew something was wrong. That's why I sent SeeD Almasy on his mission. Ultimately, he was able to provide valuable information to the scientists of Esthar and we collaborated on how to bring Ultimecia down. That is another reason why we decided not to…kill Edea." He swallowed and adjusted his glasses.

Caraway and Martine were watching Cid and the panel, looking uneasy, but they both seemed to quickly recover. Martine stood up again.

"If I may address the panel, the fact that the sorceress was Edea Kramer changes little, if nothing, at all. In fact, all efforts to assassinate her would have probably been halted and we would have attempted a different course of action. This could have had a catastrophic effect or it could have worked…but the point is, we'll never know. Regardless, I think the SeeDs handled the situation flawlessly."

"I concur," Caraway stood up and agreed gruffly. "Although it makes more sense that SeeD Almasy was undercover and was attempting to sieze the sorceress without harming her, I would add that it would have been helpful at the time to have received that information," he glanced at Cid, "but I agree with Martine. All efforts that were made to stop the sorceress were executed in a manner such that it prevented the deaths of hundreds of innocent lives."

"Is that so?!" an angry Trabian official stood up. "What about the missile strike? Why weren't there any efforts to prevent it?"

"There _were_ efforts," Squall suddenly stood up, to Seifer's surprise.

"Cadet, identify yourself for the panel," a bailiff nodded to Squall.

"SeeD Squall Leonhart," Squall nodded to them.

"The Commander of Balamb Garden?"

"Commander of Balamb Garden SeeD special forces. That's correct."

"Noted. State your testimony, SeeD Leonhart."

"I was informed by SeeD Almasy, very discreetly, that a missile strike was to be made on Balamb and Trabia Gardens. I assembled a SeeD squadron whose objective was to delay and disable the missile launch. Unfortunately, even after our best efforts, the mission failed. SeeD Almasy is not to blame for Trabia. If anything, the blame should be placed on - "

"The blame should be placed on me," Quistis suddenly stood up and interrupted Squall. She nodded to the panel. "SeeD Quistis Trepe of Balamb Garden. I was in charge of the SeeD team dispatched to the missile silos. We couldn't stop the missiles in time."

Squall gave her an angry glare. Seifer rolled his eyes. Both of them, however, were thinking the same thing.

_Damn it, Quistis. Don't punish yourself for this._

The Trabian official looked surprised.

"SeeD Leonhart, can you confirm this?" A member of the panel asked. "Did you put SeeD Trepe in charge?"

Squall didn't remove his gaze from Quistis. "That's correct."

_She's always going to one-up your ass,_ Seifer thought with slight amusement as he watched them. _Get used to it, Leonhart._

"So what?" The Trabian official rebounded. "The coordinates shouldn't have been set in the first place! If Almasy was undercover, he should have scrambled the signal, or cancelled the launch!"

General Caraway stood up as Squall and Quistis sat down. "SeeD Almasy could not have done so because he was at the D-district prison, ordering the release of my daughter," he glanced over at Squall with a cross look on his face. "He was not at the missile base; therefore, he could not have directly ordered the strike, nor could he have hindered it."

The panel all exchanged glances. "SeeD Almasy, is this fact true? Was General Caraway's daughter at the D-district prison?"

Seifer nodded. "That's correct."

"Do you know why?"

_Because Squall's an idiot._

"She was a member of a Timber resistance faction and was arrested on charges of attempting to assassinate the sorceress, along with the other SeeD members," Seifer replied.

"Noted."

"We also have extensive documentiation and testimonies from dozens of Galbadian soldiers confirming this," a Galbadian senate panel member added, motioning to a large stack of paperwork. "It's all there."

"All right. Trabian plaintiffs, is that all?"

"No," the official stood up again as Caraway sat down. "Why didn't SeeD Almasy even attempt to order the missile strike off? He was in command of the entire Galbadian army. He could have sent couriers to Trabia, or dispatched orders to halt the strike."

Cid stood up. "He could not have done so in such a short amount of time after the sorceress's order," he explained. "No courier could have arrived at Trabia before the missile launch. In addition, if SeeD Almasy would have called off the missile strike, the sorceress would have no doubt retaliated against him. She possibly would have killed him and ordered the launch anyway. He could not take that risk. Instead, he left it in the hands of the SeeD team."

The panel all seemed to agree with this statement and there were a few nods. They glanced at the Trabian bench.

"Anything further, Trabia?"

The Trabian official looked defeated, but compliant. "No. The plaintiffs rest, your honors."

There was a short pause as the panel members started to talk amonst themselves, then the head panel member glanced at Cid.

"Headmaster Kramer, where is your wife now?"

Cid stood up and cleared his throat, looking uncomfortable. "She's in an undisclosed location for now, your honor. Right now I would like to keep it that way for her safety - "

"What about _our_ safety?" an angry Galbadian politician stood up. "If she's still a sorceress - "

"She's no longer a sorceress," Cid cut in.

"I beg your pardon, Headmaster, but how do you know?" a Trabian official stood up.

"Edea no longer has her powers," Cid replied briskly. "She lost them after an intense fight with SeeD operatives."

The sour feeling returned to the pit of Squall's stomach and he tensed.

_Here we go again. Don't mention Rinoa. Don't mention Rinoa…_

"You didn't answer my question, Headmaster," the Trabian replied flatly.

Quistis stood up. "The fight between Edea, who was under the control of sorceress Ultimecia at the time, and several SeeD operatives left her in an incredibly weakened physical and mental state. The toll the fight took upon Edea was intense; as a result, Ultimecia temporarily lost control and Edea had lost her powers. She hasn't been able to fully regain her strength ever since."

"I concur," Laguna stood up. "My administration saw to her treatment directly."

"That may be, but we need to reassure the people that the world is, indeed, safe from her," a politician from Dollet spoke up. "I suggest that the scientists of Esthar run a few tests to confirm this and quarantine Edea Kramer until further notice, like they did with Adel - "

"I will not condone such an action," Laguna immediately interrupted the politician. "Initial tests run by Dr. Odine confirmed that Edea Kramer no longer had powers resembling that of a sorceress."

As Laguna was speaking, Ward had walked up to the panel of judges and handed one a manila folder.

"The panel must know that Edea is a magnificent woman who has recently gone through a very unfortunate experience, that's all," Laguna continued. "In addition, she poses no threat because the sorceress Ultimecia has been destroyed by Garden's SeeD operatives. Therefore, I will not imprison her because she is not a criminal. She is _not_ a specimen to be studied and she does _not_ deserve the current treatment being administered – with all due respect, your honors."

The panel deliberated for a bit. The Trabian panel member leaned forward.

"President Loire, you do realize that not everyone will share your opinion."

Laguna nodded briskly with pursed lips. "Of course."

"And Headmaster, you realize that your wife – although she was under the influence of these supernatural powers – has still committed atrocious crimes."

Cid didn't reply.

"If I may address the panel," Xu suddenly stood up and snapped with an exasperated tone, "Edea Kramer is not on trial here. She's not even _present_. If we could get back to the matter at hand – which is the delibration of offenses caused by SeeD Seifer Almasy of Balamb Garden – offenses that are questionable, at best, since he was performing a highly covert operation to report on Edea Kramer's status, whereabouts, and the plans of Ultimecia - "

Seifer raised an eyebrow. _Stand back. She'll bite._

"Order," the Galbadian lead panel member interrupted her. "Identify yourself, cadet."

"SeeD Xu Liang, your honors."

The panel member raised an eyebrow and chuckled. "One of yours, eh, Cid?"

Cid cleared his throat. "Yes, sir."

"All right, SeeD Liang, settle down. We do realize the weight Edea Kramer must be carrying, but we have to stress that we must be vigilant – for the sake of others – and that even though the threat of Ultimecia has been abolished, we cannot afford to turn a blind eye."

Xu sat down as Cid stood up. "I understand."

"Is there anything that can be done that would…" the panel member paused, searching for the right word. "…reassure people of Edea's…detachment…from all this?"

Seifer nearly rolled his eyes. It was clear that he was being as polite as possible, but as a politician, they wanted Edea gone from the public eye. Couldn't say he blamed them, especially since Garden was tangled up in it.

"Of course," Cid agreed promptly. "She will be under constant surveillance of my SeeDs. Furthermore, she will avoid the general public so mass panic will not ensue. We know of a location where she would be safe, thus ensuring the safety of others."

Laguna stood up and nodded. "My administration will work closely with Balamb Garden as well to watch over Edea."

Squall set his jaw. _And Rinoa, no doubt._

"President Loire and Headmaster Cid, we'll check on you from time to time about this matter," the Galbadian panel leader said.

Cid and Laguna nodded.

"As for the missile strike, are there any more grievances?"

The courtroom was silent.

"Very well. The case against SeeD Almasy on charges of deliberate manslaughter of Trabian citizens, Garden cadets and faculty, and the destruction of thousands of gil of Garden property will be deliberated now."

Seifer swallowed and set his jaw.

"Panel members, will you please cast your vote in favor or against SeeD Almasy by vote of Aye or No, Aye meaning charges will be dropped and No meaning charges will be brought to the defendant?"

"Aye."

"Aye."

"Aye."

"Aye."

"Aye."

"Aye."

"Aye."

"The panel has spoken, all charges referring to the Trabian massacre will be dropped against Seifer Almasy, SeeD rank twenty-six," the speaker hit his gavel against a wooden block and added in a monotonous tone, "Will the next complaint please be brought forward?"

Seifer let out a small sigh, wondering if the panel always dealt with measures like this so nonchalantly. The speaker seemed pretty bored. It almost sounded as if he was holding an auction.

Mayor Dobe of Fisherman's Horizon stood up. "I'd like to remind the panel that I have filed a complaint against SeeD Almasy and the Galbadian military referring to the destruction of my town, resulting in hundreds of thousands of gil in damages."

Seifer resisted the urge to groan. _Douchebag Dobe._

"Yes, we're well aware of the damage caused in Fisherman's Horizon," the lead panel member motioned to a courier, who brought him a file. He opened the file and browsed through it. "A squad of Galbadian soldiers came through your town and harassed the citizens, including you, Mayor, about a young woman named Ellone?"

The mayor nodded. "That's correct."

The panel member glanced at Seifer and lowered his glasses. "SeeD Almasy, did you condone these actions?"

"No, sir," Seifer replied rigidly. "I deployed squads throughout the world to search for Ellone, as per the sorceress's orders. But I did not give them orders to damage property, abuse the townspeople, or use force. In fact, I warned all outgoing platoons to be as discreet as possible."

"Hm." The panel member looked down at the papers and sighed. "Mayor Dobe, could you be a little more specific in your accusations? What exactly were these troopers doing to your townsfolk?"

"They were shouting and yelling at them!" Mayor Dobe cried. "They even dragged me around and kicked me, saying that I was being difficult! I didn't even know who Ellone was, but they called me a liar!"

The panel member raised an eyebrow. "I see." He glanced at General Caraway, looking bored. "General, it sounds like you have some bad apples in your platoons."

General Caraway stood up. "Of course," he nodded. "We screen every single applicant who wishes to join the army, however, we do realize a few may slip through the cracks."

"A few?!" Mayor Dobe snapped. "Some giant machine popped out of the sea and completely ruined docks, cracked the foundation, created burn craters, and - "

"That wasn't us," Seifer interrupted angrily.

"It was a Galbadian tank!" Dobe shot back. "Who else could it have been?!"

"Order!" the lead panel member growled, banging his gavel a few times.

"Our peaceful town was completely torn apart by violence and hostility created by none other than this SeeD Almasy and his brigade of Galbadian lunatics," Mayor Dobe barked. "I want compensation for the damages created from this mess - "

Quistis shot up before Seifer had another chance to open his mouth and retort something belligerent. "SeeD Almasy did not send a Galbadian tank into Fisherman's Horizon, nor was he directly responsible for all the damage caused by the ensuing firefight, because it was my team who was in control of the tank," she interrupted Dobe's rant in a loud voice, drawing the panel's attention.

The lead panel member blinked. "Say again, SeeD Trepe?"

"After our failed attempt to disrupt the missile launch, we escaped in a Galbadian tank and proceeded to Fisherman's Horizon," Quistis explained. "Obviously, we were mistaken as intruders and were attacked. The result, unfortunately, had damaged some structures – but nobody was severely injured."

Mayor Dobe pointed at Quistis. "You see? Garden's nothing but trouble, I tell you! Those SeeDs are nothing but warmongering, violent kids! They're all hell-bent on destruction!"

Seifer nearly stood up and snarled something back, especially after Dobe pointed at Quistis like that, but he was interrupted again by angry, incomprehensible shouts from the crowd, especially from the Esthar and Galbadian officials, and a Dollet panel member leaned forward and slammed his gavel once to hush the room.

"Mayor Dobe, if you don't show the proper amount of respect in this courtroom, we'll have no choice but to hold you in contempt," he growled, obviously not pleased from the military-bashing. It was no secret that practically every politician knew about Dobe's whiny nature, and they weren't going to tolerate it any further – especially since the entire panel consisted of military veterans. "You had the chance to make your case, but letting accusations fly without any evidence will not be taken lightly here," he continued strictly. "You should be grateful for Garden – and its SeeDs – since the destruction of the world was prevented." He turned to Cid and folded his hands calmly. "Now. Headmaster Cid, have any measures been taken to remedy the situation in Fisherman's Horizon?"

Headmaster Cid stood up and nodded. "Your honors, Balamb Garden has already agreed to pay the entire amount due to damages inflicted upon the harbor town of Fisherman's Horizon from previous attacks carried out by SeeDs – in order to _defend_ the citizens – as well as the accidental crash landing of Balamb Garden into the harbor."

Seifer blinked. _Crash landing? Who the fuck was driving? Chicken-wuss?_

Xu stood up. "I have documents signed by one Mayor Dobe of Fisherman's Horizon agreeing to the amount proposed by Balamb Garden that all damages would be covered." She handed a courier the files and the panel looked them over briskly.

General Caraway stood up and nodded. "Any damage caused by Galbadian soliders will also be remediated by the country of Galbadia."

Mayor Dobe looked slightly embarrassed. "What about mental damages?! Those violent actions scared a lot of residents, not to mention all the fish! We're in a recession, no thanks to you!"

Laguna stood up. "We have decided to open the borders of Esthar, which would allow the trafficking and trade route directly from Fisherman's Horizon to be the main and most accessible road. I doubt you would remain in a recession for long, Mayor, once this is finalized."

The Mayor remained standing, but his face grew red.

"Mayor Dobe, is that all?" the leader of the panel sat forward and glared at him from under the rim of his glasses. "We don't have time for this."

The Mayor sat down, grumbling.

"All in favor of dropping the charges against SeeD Almasy for monetary damages to Fisherman's Horizon, Aye or No, please cast your vote."

"Aye."

"Aye."

"Aye."

"Aye."

"Aye."

"Aye."

"Aye."

"The panel has spoken, all charges referring to the damages inflicted in the harbor town of Fisherman's Horizon will be dropped against Seifer Almasy, SeeD rank twenty-six," the speaker hit his gavel again and examined a few papers. "I would ask now that the officials representing Dollet, Balamb Garden, Trabia Garden, Galbadia Garden, Galbadia, and Esthar remain in the courtroom, please. The rest of you may be dismissed."

Most of the politicians, including Mayor Dobe, got up and left the room. The representatives from all three Gardens, the ones with General Caraway, a few from Dollet, and Laguna's administration remained behind. Once the double doors closed shut and the bailiff stood guard, the Galbadian speaker opened a file and sat forward.

"The last charge is significant, as it affects everyone in this room and should be addressed with a staid manner," he looked around the room. "I will now ask the Esthar officials to stand and address the calamity caused by the Lunar Cry event, set in motion by SeeD Almasy through the unauthorized use of the Lunatic Pandora, which ultimately caused mass panic and chaos around the globe, not to mention the resurrection of sorceress Adel and the time compression phenomenon that rendered billions of citizens comatose, temporarily mentally ill, or otherwise incapacitated."

Seifer grit his teeth. _Don't sugar-coat it._

"While this issue should not be taken lightly, it is also highly top-secret and the facts presented in this courtroom today should _remain_ in this courtroom," the speaker glanced around the room. "It is common knowledge amongst the major officials what had happened, especially since the Lunar Cry was a planned collaboration between Esthar and Galbadia, but the general public will not understand, nor will they fully agree with, the tactics used to eliminate Ultimecia. These events will strictly remain under the careful eye of the military and Gardens and will not be published or reported without serious repercussions – prosecution and extensive incarceration included – do I make myself clear?"

Everyone in the courtroom nodded.

The lead panel member lifted up a few papers and skimmed over them. "After the panel read through these documents, it is our understanding that all of these events were a result of a planned collaboration between the nations of Galbadia – although few knew it at the time – and Esthar. Although it appeared that SeeD Almasy took control of the Galbadian military and was operating under the influence of sorceress Ultimecia, it is obvious that he could not have found the location of the Lunatic Pandora in the first place without the help of the administration and their willingness to reveal top secret files."

Laguna stood and nodded. "Yes, sir."

"Nor could he have had such extensive help from both armies unless both countries were willing to cooperate."

General Caraway stood. "That is correct, your honor."

"After the excavation of the Lunatic Pandora – again, a collaborative effort that could not have been achieved otherwise – it was activated and sent to Tear's Point in order to trigger the Lunar Cry."

General Caraway sat down and Laguna remained standing. He nodded. "Yes, your honor."

"We don't understand the logic behind this," a Dollet panel member spoke up. "Why start the Lunar Cry? How did this help you defeat the sorceress? It almost sounds as if her plans were coming to fruition, rather than being hindered."

"After extensive studies and theories put forth by my best scientists," Laguna answered, "it was hypothesized that Ultimecia wanted to achieve time compression, which was her way of ruling the entire universe while simultaneously removing all forms of life – for eternity. The only way she could do this is to transfer her consciousness into a very powerful sorceress."

Seifer glanced at Laguna.

_He's bending the truth. He's trying to protect Ellone...and Rinoa. I wonder if he and Squall talked about this in their meetings…if they both agreed to keep Sis and Rinoa on the down-low…_

"You're talking about Adel," the Trabian panel member said.

"Yes, your honor. While Adel was still locked in her prison, she still could have been a threat. The only way to bring Adel back down to our planet – and anticipating Ultimecia's transfer – was to trigger the Lunar Cry."

"Why didn't Ultimecia go to Adel in the first place? Why bother with Edea?"

"You must remember, your honors, Adel was very powerful, but she was still under strict supervision. She was imprisoned in outer space, and even if Ultimecia tried to transfer her consciousness to her, Adel could not get out unless she was back on the planet."

"You knew that Ultimecia would go to Adel, but you had to bring Adel to you in order to get to Ultimecia?"

"That's exactly right, your honor. If we did not do this, Ultimecia would relentlessly continue to hop in and out of other people's consciousnesses. Finding her would have been impossible and the fight would never end."

Seifer watched Laguna with interest. _Hrm. Skewed, but true. He's smarter than I thought. Guess Ellone's completely off the table._

"Why not allow Ultimecia to possess Adel in outer space, then simply destroy her while she was still imprisoned?"

"Adel was in hibernation, so to speak," Laguna replied. "Ultimecia did not possess Adel until she was fully awake. My scientists hypothesized that Ultimecia finds a consciousness based on whether or not the host is active and powerful."

_Not true,_ Seifer mused. _Rinoa was in a coma and Ultimecia sat dormant. I can't believe he's flat-out lying to these guys in order to protect Ellone. _

"All right," a Galbadian panel member put on his glasses and skimmed the papers again. "Mister President, you do realize that as a result of the Lunar Cry, we've got monsters running around all over the place?"

"A problem better handled by my troops and by the SeeDs – and if I may say so, most welcome in contrast to the presence of a sorceress," General Caraway stood up and interjected. "We've fought monsters for years after the Lunar Cry during Adel's reign – and we'll do it again."

"Esthar will pitch in," Laguna added. "They're removing the threats as we speak. Casualties have been minimal."

"Hm. So after Adel arrived at the Lunatic Pandora, the rest of the SeeD team arrived in order to fight and destroy her – then time compression began?"

"Yes, your honor."

"And your scientists predicted all this? They were able to project where the SeeDs would go?"

"…More or less, your honor."

"Speaking of, where is Dr. Odine, President Loire?" the Trabian panel member asked. "His own testimony would be useful under these types of circumstances."

"Dr. Odine has been detained," Laguna replied rigidly. "I do not want him out in public, nor do I want him parading around in the courtroom. You must understand, your honor, that Dr. Odine is a very…eccentric and obnoxious man…and given the chance, he'd run to the press with this. He has been demoted from his status as Head Researcher due to his inability to follow strict orders…which had put people's lives in danger as a result, unfortunately. I simply do not trust him at this point in time."

_Took you long enough_, Seifer thought bitterly.

"So…because SeeD Almasy brought the Lunatic Pandora to Tear's Point…this in turn caused the Lunar Cry…which also brought the Sorceress Adel down from outer space…"

"That is correct."

"…and…what exactly did all of this have to do with Ultimecia?"

"Ultimecia needed another host, and her most likely vector would have been Adel," Laguna quickly replied. "We did this so we could anticipate her transferring to a consciousness we could immediately destroy. That way, Adel was eliminated and Ultimecia had lost her most powerful host."

"…and then time compression began shortly afterwards, correct?"

"That is correct."

"If Ultimecia wanted to achieve time compression, then why did we let her?" another panel member asked.

"It was the only way the SeeD team could travel to her time in order to destroy her," Laguna replied.

"So, while they were in the future, we were asleep?"

"That is correct."

"This could have all gone horribly wrong," a panel member pointed out.

"I believe that if we didn't attempt it in the first place, Ultimecia would have taken over our entire world, and then things would have gone horribly wrong anyway," Laguna countered flatly.

"Hrm."

"As far as I'm concerned," Laguna continued briskly, "it worked. The SeeDs excecuted their mission flawlessly. There were minimal casualties reported, if there were any at all. They saved billions of lives."

"And the side effects?" a Dollet panel member asked. "Is there…anything to be concerned about regarding that?"

"No, your honor. Our team of scientists has been working closely with doctors and additional researchers around the globe to closely monitor the population's recovery. The only side effects that anyone had seemed to experience were nausea, vertigo, temporary nosebleeds, and mild amnesia. Nobody had been stricken permanently comatose or mentally dehabilitated."

"Where is the Lunatic Pandora now?" a Galbadian panel member asked.

"It is currently inoperable at Tear's Point, and we are in the process of dismantling it, your honor. It is nothing else but a craft of war and I want it demolished."

_I'll bet Odine is having a conniption fit about that_, Seifer hid a grin.

"One last thing, mister President," the panel member from Esthar - who had been quiet and nearly forgotten all through the trial - suddenly spoke up. "Mayor Dobe mentioned that the Galbadian soldiers were looking for a young woman named Ellone. Do you know who this is?"

Squall stiffened and glanced at Laguna. Seifer set his jaw and also watched Laguna.

Laguna gave the panel member a curt nod. "She is my adopted daughter."

"Why would the sorceress want to kidnap her?"

"We believe that Ultimecia wanted Ellone to get to me and my administration," Laguna replied calmly. "Since we were the ones in control of the Lunatic Pandora, as well as the sorceress Adel, it's possible she wanted to use Ellone as a hostage."

_Damn. He may be a moron but he's slick._

"Very well."

"I understand that two of the five SeeDs who fought Ultimecia are in this courtroom," the speaker removed his glasss. "Will you please stand?"

Quistis and Squall stood up.

"Will you assure the panel that Ultimecia has, in fact, been destroyed?"

Quistis and Squall nodded. Quistis was the one who replied, "Yes, your honor."

"By your own hands?"

Squall and Quistis nodded. "Yes, your honor. It was how we were able to return to the present."

The panel members all deliberated for an extended pause and the speaker finally cleared his throat. "Very well. President Loire and General Caraway, please stand."

Squall and Quistis sat down while Laguna and the general stood.

"Do you both fully acknowledge the authorization of the excavation of the Lunatic Pandora, using Estharian and Galbadian troops, in addition to planning and executing the plan to trigger the Lunar Cry, resulting in the release of the Sorceress Adel and temporarily unleashing Ultimecia's abilities to cause time compression - risking the lives of everyone on this planet by placing your trust in five teenage SeeD mercenaries?"

Laguna and Caraway nodded solemnly. "Yes, your honor."

"And that SeeD Almasy performed these tasks because he was doing his job?"

Cid stood up and nodded with Laguna and Caraway. "Yes, your honor."

The speaker rubbed his chin. "Well, then. You may be seated. The case against SeeD Almasy on charges of stealing the Lunatic Pandora in order to follow Ultimecia's command, unauthorized use and abuse of the Gabladian military, the unauthorized release of Sorceress Adel, the destruction of the Lunar Base, and the deliberate activation of the Lunar Cry will be discussed now."

Seifer looked down at his hands and set his jaw.

"Panel members, will you please cast your vote in favor or against SeeD Almasy by vote of Aye or No, Aye meaning charges will be dropped and No meaning charges will be brought to the defendant?"

"Aye."

"Aye."

"Aye."

"Aye."

"Aye."

"Aye."

"Aye."

"SeeD Almasy, please stand."

Seifer swallowed and slowly stood up.

"Son, you've done some immense damage. People were killed. Millions of gil invested in property and equipment have been lost. You've risked everything to accomplish the impossible. You're nothing short of Hyne-damned crazy. Yet you've done what nobody else could do. You - and your comrades - deserve the utmost respect. You've saved us all."

One by one, the panel members began to stand. After a short pause, one of them started to clap. The rest of them also began applauding, and pretty soon the entire courtroom erupted in applause, each of the members smiling and nodding to Seifer.

He blinked.

A loud whistle echoed out over the clapping, and Seifer glanced over to see that Laguna was grinning like a dopey idiot, waving and sticking two fingers in his mouth to do it again. Kiros was nodding at him with approval, and Ward remained nonchalant, although he was clapping as well.

He glanced over at the Balamb bench and grinned. Quistis and Cid were clapping and smiling happily…and even Squall had a tiny smirk on his face, clapping slowly. Xu was making a gagging gesture, but she smiled and started clapping as well.

"The court is hereby dismissed," the lead panel member said loudly, banging his gavel, followed by more cheers.

Seifer stepped down from the dais and met up with his comrades – Quistis gave him a brief, professional hug and Xu nodded towards him with her arms crossed. Cid stepped up and shook his hand.

"Well done, Seifer," he grinned. "Well done. See? What'd I tell you? Quick and painless."

Seifer shook his head and blinked, letting out a half-sigh, half chuckle. "Yeah."

Squall stepped up to him and simply gave him a curt nod. "Almasy."

Seifer nodded back. "Leonhart."

"All right! How about it for the hero of the hour?!" Laguna suddenly came out of nowhere and slapped Seifer on the back, grabbing his hand and shaking it vigourously. "Congratulations, Seifer! All finished, eh? Now we can finally celebrate and give you the credit you deserve!"

Seifer and Squall exchanged glances. He suddenly knew exactly why Squall was in a bad mood for the past week.

"Er…yeah. Awesome."

"Hahahaha!" Laguna laughed. "You and Squall could be brothers! At least you haven't said, 'whatever.' You SeeDs definitely need some R&R."

Seifer gave Squall a look that said, _'is this guy fucking serious?'_ Squall simply raised an eyebrow that seemed to say, _'this is what I have to put up with.'_

"And Quistis! Oh, Quistis, you look positively beautiful! How are you, dear?" Laguna beamed at her.

She nodded politely. "I'm fine, Mister President. Thanks for coming out to support - "

"Mister President?! None of that! Just call me Laguna! And Cid! Looking well! Give my regards to Edea! I can't wait to see all of you at the awards ceremony! Tell the other team members I said hi, will you? I'd love to stay and chat, but things to do, you know…"

"Of course," Cid grinned and nodded.

Before anyone else could say anything more, Laguna was out of the courtroom, followed closely behind by Kiros and Ward.

"…and that guy's running a country," Seifer said in a low voice. Only Quistis was able to hear him, and she gave him a warning glance.

All seven panel members, who were mingling with the politicians, shaking hands, and catching up, eventually made their way to the Garden benches and acknowledged Balamb.

"Your honors," Cid did a slight bow in front of them and shook each of their hands. "I don't know how to thank you. Balamb Garden fully appreciates your service today, and we're extremely grateful that you were all able to travel this far on short notice - "

"It is we who should be thanking you, Cid," the Dollet panel member replied. "Your exemplary SeeDs have saved our lives so many times I've lost count. It's truly a wonderful feeling; that we can fully place our trust in the next generation."

A panel member nodded and looked at the SeeDs. "You all have a very bright future ahead of you. Don't lose sight of it."

They all saluted.

"Now that the war's over," a Trabian council member said, "What will the Gardens do?"

Cid stood straighter and held his chin up. "My SeeDs will always be available to help if anyone ever needs it – for peaceful purposes, of course. As long as there is turmoil or trouble in the world, we'll be there. I think it's safe to say that all three Gardens will work together to achieve peace throughout nations."

The panel members all nodded. "Hyne willing."

"Thank you, Cid," a Galbadian panel member nodded to him. "And keep up the good work," he nodded to all the SeeDs.

They all saluted again as the panel members left the courtroom.

"SeeD Almasy," General Caraway called out and gestured briefly. "May I speak with you for a moment?"

Seifer nodded and headed towards the General, who was standing with Headmaster Martine and Zavier. Once he reached the group, he saluted rigidly.

"Sir."

"At ease, soldier. I have an important proposition for you," Caraway replied briskly.

"The general and I have been talking, and we believe that you would be the perfect candidate to assist Balamb Garden with Galbadian relations," Martine explained to Seifer. "Since Esthar is talking about opening its borders and President Loire is more than enthusiastic about funding all three Gardens to ensure peace, we're going to need representatives from all corners of the globe communicating with each other constantly. You're the one with the most experience commanding the Galbadian military. We'd like your expertise in future relations."

Seifer raised an eyebrow. Expertise? Fuck. All he did was give orders.

"I'm sorry, sir, but…do you mean as a diplomat?"

"You were able to maintain full control of my army while I was unable to do so," the general spoke up. "We want you to be more than a diplomat for Balamb Garden. I want you as my Commander."

"Squall Leonhart is the Commander of Balamb Garden," Martine added. "It's only fitting that you remain the Commander of the Galbadian Army. The two of you can coordinate relations between Balamb and Galbadia smoothly, and if any threats ever arise – Hyne forbid – our defenses and our attacks will be tenfold swifter and stronger."

"I…uh…this is…" Seifer blinked and tried to find the words. He wasn't sure if he even wanted the position. He'd just managed to start a relationship with the girl he loved, and he wasn't willing to move away from her. Besides, the only reason he commanded the army in the first place was because of one crazy bitch lunatic sorceress, and he wasn't sure if he'd ever want to be in that position again. Ever.

On top of all that, Balamb Garden was his home.

But Seifer knew what they were offering. Being Commander of the Galbadian Army put him just short of General status. The only superior he'd have to report to, other than Cid and Martine, would be Caraway. Once Caraway retired, bit the dust, or quit, Seifer would have full control of the Galbadian military.

Seifer swallowed and motioned to Zavier. "What about him? He's had more experience in the field than I have. He's older. I think he'd be better for the spot, with all due respect."

Zavier raised an eyebrow and seemed amused at being called 'him.' He remained stoic and silent and glanced at Martine.

"Zavier is my second-in-command, Seifer, and he already has his hands full," Martine explained. "I'm not going to run Galbadia Garden forever. He'll take over once I retire."

"Sir…I'm a SeeD, sir…not a footsoldier," Seifer turned to Caraway and tried to be as polite as possible. "I belong in Garden. It's not my job to lead armies. It's my job to - "

"It's your job to protect others," Martine interrupted. "SeeDs are no longer mercenaries. We have a gigantic responsibility. Our responsibility extends past the walls of Garden."

"I'm not expecting you to run drills, eat and sleep in barracks, or dress like a Galbadian soldier," Caraway added. "My subordinates will continue to train and lead the army as they always have. We've never had a Commander before, and after you were forced to take action, I've never seen such uniformity and organization amongst my troops during war," he continued. "You were calm and collected during a time of chaos. Your actions probably saved hundreds – if not thousands – of lives. That's a remarkable trait for someone so young. We're going to need something like that again if another conflict arises. You were born for the role, Almasy."

Seifer remained silent and hesitated. It was strange. A year ago he would have taken the position without question – _nobody_ his age was ever offered anything like this, and it was a power trip beyond compare – but that was a year ago. The war had changed him.

"You won't need to spend your entire time in Galbadia," Caraway continued. "Nor will you have to spend every waking moment with Galbadian soldiers. You can still live in Balamb Garden, if that's what you prefer, and you will still be able to perform many SeeD duties. All I ask is that you check in from time to time, fix any flaws the army might have, train a few officers, and…lead the army if the situation arises."

Seifer set his jaw.

"The most important thing is that Balamb and Galbadia will consistently be able to network information and form a strong alliance, especially if you're the Commander," Martine added. "It's a rare opportunity to finally bridge the gap that's existed for years between nations – and our own Gardens."

"I'll have to think about it," Seifer finally replied.

"Of course. I'm not expecting an answer right away," Caraway nodded. "Please, take a few months to mull it over. I'll be in touch with Martine and Cid from time to time. Just notify them when you're ready."

Seifer nodded. "Yes, sir. Thank you for the offer, sir. I…really don't know what to say."

He shook hands with the general and Martine, gave Zavier a curt nod of acknowledgement, then turned back towards his group. Squall, Quistis and Xu were still talking with Headmaster Cid, slowly heading for the door. Once they noticed that Seifer was finished talking to Martine and Caraway, Cid put his hands on his hips.

"Well? Are we ready to go?"

The SeeDs agreed in unison. They left the courtroom, following Cid, and Quistis glanced up at Seifer, noticing the furrow in his brow.

"What is it?"

He blinked and glanced at her. "…Nothing. Just wanted to give me their thanks, that's all."

"Remember that the official SeeD promotions and recognitions will be in the great Presidential Hall tomorrow afternoon and the awards ceremony is tomorrow night!" Cid chirped. "All of Selphie's hard work will finally be revealed and you'll all be able to thoroughly enjoy yourselves! Be sure to dress appropriately! Standard SeeD dress code for the Presidential Hall!"

"What about the dress code for the post ceremony in Garden?" Xu asked.

"No cross-dressers allowed," Seifer replied in a low voice behind her. She attempted to back-kick him in the knee with her heel, but missed. "It puts the lotion in the basket," he hissed.

"Shut the fuck up," she whispered back.

"Formal dress for the Garden ceremony," Cid answered ahead of them. "Men may wear their uniforms or a suit…women may also wear their uniforms or something else."

Seifer glanced at Quistis. "You goin' to this thing?"

She smiled shyly. "I was planning on it."

He grinned. "I guess you're going alone, then."

She glared at him. "I guess so. I'll just find a Trepie to dance with me."

He set his jaw. "…I don't have a suit."

"Just wear your uniform, then."

Seifer scowled. "This thing is starched to all holy hell. I can barely move."

"Then buy a suit tomorrow in the city."

"Fuck that."

"Well, _I'm_ going. I already have a dress."

He raised an eyebrow at her. "You have a dress?"

"Mm-hmm."

"When did you get a dress?"

"…Balamb."

Seifer's voice crept to a whisper. "You got a dress with your panties?!"

She nudged him to hush up and bit her lip, hoping Xu or Squall up ahead didn't hear. There was a short pause, but none of them turned around. "…Yes."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wanted it to be a surprise!"

He blinked. "What's it look like?"

"I'm not telling! You'll have to find out for yourself."

"…and I won't be able to find out unless I go to this dance thing, huh?"

"That's right."

Crap. Stuck. He glanced at her. "Are you going to wear…something special under it?"

"…Probably."

Balls. Fuckin' hook, line, and sinker.

* * *

**_Author's Note: _**I have absolutely no idea how a court of law operates, and I saw the U.K. Parliament on TV a few times and thought it was cool. Hey. It may be sloppy VIII politics, but oh well. It gets the job done, right?

Lots of fluff but Seifer and Quistis needed some pillow-talk time, dammit!


	17. Eyes on Me

**_"So let me come to you, close as I wanna be_**

**_Close enough for me to feel your heart beating fast_**

**_And stay there as I whisper how I loved your peaceful eyes on me_**

**_Did you ever know that I had mine on you?"_**

"Eyes On Me" by Nobuo Uematsu, sung by Faye Wong

* * *

Seifer stood against a marble pillar of the ballroom section of Balamb Garden, watching different couples dance and mingle, and glanced down into his champagne glass.

He hated champagne. But alcohol was alcohol, and given the circumstances, it was better than nothing.

He sighed and took a short swig, then adjusted the collar of his uniform. It was stiff and uncomfortable, but thank Hyne Cid had opened up several doors and windows to let the crisp Esthar breeze flow through. Otherwise, he'd be sweating his SeeD ass off.

_How long does it take to change into a dress? Hyne._

He was waiting on Quistis and was slightly agitated she wanted to do this whole post-ceremony thing. As expected, Selphie had decorated the holy hell out of the place (it was like a confetti and streamer explosion, complete with glitter and twinkling lights, a disco ball, a fish tank full of exotic fish, and a live band), and Seifer couldn't help but glance around in wonder…and disgust.

…_How in the hell did she get a fish tank? Where did the fish come from? Who thinks up this shit?_

He glanced down at his drink to take a sip. He blinked. He lifted his gloved hand and took an even closer look.

_Nnngh. Glitter._

He sighed and downed the rest of his drink, motioned for a waitress, and grabbed another one, replacing the empty glass.

Not that he didn't enjoy a party…he was glad to be finished with the tribunal, he was glad to have gotten his medals and colors, he was glad to have Quistis by his side…

But this was a _civilized_ party, which meant he couldn't get shitfaced and pull pranks or start a brawl without upsetting Cid and getting demoted all over again. He glanced around, looking for Fujin and Raijin. Apparently, they were the smart ones and had decided not to show up. What he wouldn't give to chug a Meltdown with Raijin, just like old times. Fujin, would, of course, babysit their drunk asses and take them home.

He chuckled. Those drinks were, in fact, similar to the spell. They lowered your defenses and fucked. You. Up.

Seifer tugged at his collar again and sighed. What was she doing, anyway? Sacrificing a goat?

It had been almost an hour since they arrived at Balamb Garden. Since Seifer didn't have a suit, he had opted to remain in his uniform, which he was beginning to regret. As a formality for the ceremony, the SeeDs all wore white gloves and black berets on top of their normal black and gold regalia. He'd tossed the hat after they arrived at Garden, but Quistis insisted he keep the gloves on because they made him look handsome.

He glanced over at Squall and Rinoa, who were drinking champagne and talking. Rinoa was dressed in a light blue strapless gown – very simple, no sparkles or sequins – that had a small twist of fabric that hung down in the front of the heart-shaped bodice. Squall, thank Hyne, was wearing his uniform as well.

_At least I'm not the only poor bastard running around like this._

Zell and Irvine had opted to wear suits. Zell's dark blue tie was sloppy and loose, however, and he'd already left his blazer on a chair. He stood next to library girl with an arm around her, sleeves of his white shirt rolled up, talking airily to another cadet. The library girl was dressed in a pale yellow gown with spaghetti straps. Irvine, who was dressed in a simple black suit, sans tie, with his shirt unbuttoned at the collar, was talking to a gaggle of girls as Selphie was gathering some hors d'ouevres.

Seifer took another sip and reflected on the day's earlier events.

The awards and promotions ceremony, which was held in the great Presidential Hall of Esthar, was, without a doubt, the most stifling and pompous bullshit thing he had ever seen as a SeeD.

…_Politics._

However, it was a way for the general public and all the prestiged politicians to grant the young teenagers their respect and recognition for the defeat of Ultimecia and putting a stop to the Second Sorceress War. Cid Kramer, Martine Dodonna, and General Caraway were guest speakers and all took their turns at the podium, commending the SeeDs for their extraordinary work and commitment to the greater good, and even Laguna mentioned that there would be another cenotaph constructed within the next year at the Sorceress Memorial to acknowledge their bravery and sacrifice.

Squall, Quistis, Seifer, Selphie, Zell, and Irvine were the main focus of the hubbub. Even though they had all gained SeeD rank over the months throughout the war – save Irvine – they were officially promoted again and given medals and ribbons to adorn their uniforms. Irvine had been officially ordained a SeeD (sharpshooter specialist) that night, standing at a rank of 28. For the very first time in Garden history, three SeeDs were promoted to Class A – the highest rank a SeeD could possibly go – and they were Squall Leonhart, Seifer Almasy, and Quistis Trepe. Zell had been promoted to rank 29, Selphie was promoted to rank 28, and Rinoa was given an honorable mention for aiding and supporting the SeeDs during combat. Other SeeDs, including Zavier, Nida, Xu, Fujin, Raijin, some from Trabia, and some from Galbadia, were also commended and received medals. The whole process took over two hours.

Laguna, of course, had offered to have a grand gala set up for them in the Presidential Palace, but Selphie had worked so long and so hard on the decorations that the ceremony was held in Balamb Garden instead. Seifer had a feeling this wouldn't be the only party to come, however. He was sure the politicians all wanted a slice of the new heroes…and he was sure Martine and Caraway wanted to talk with him some more about his decision.

Even though Seifer hadn't yet told Quistis about the offer from Caraway and Martine after the tribunal, she was no fool. She knew that he was mulling over something important – something they must have said – so when they returned to Garden, she had decided to confront him about it.

. . .

"So, Seifer…what did they really say to you?"

He blinked at her for a short pause, then let out a small chuckle. He had to hand it to her. She was fucking sharp.

After he explained to her what Caraway and Martine offered him, she started slowly pacing around in her sitting room with a hand on her chin. He had been sitting on the couch, arms spread out on the back of it, one ankle on a knee. He watched her silently, gauging her reaction. She didn't seem upset…but she didn't seem happy. For the most part, she had remained relatively neutral, and was most likely thinking the entire scenario through.

She was weighing the pros and the cons, which he knew she would. He'd had plenty of time to think about the offer after they left the courtroom, and in the back of his mind, he already knew what he wanted to do. Yet, he hadn't voiced his final decision. He still wanted to know what Quistis thought. A part of him still wanted to know just how serious she was about him.

After a long pause, he spoke up. "…What do you think?"

Quistis shrugged and slowly sat next to him. "I think…you should do what you feel is right."

He narrowed his eyes at her and gave her a mocking smirk. "That's it?"

She blinked. "Well…yes. Why?"

He snorted and shook his head. "C'mon, Quis. Don't give me that cliché do-what's-in-your-heart bullshit. I don't want to hear that."

"Well, you _asked_, Seifer, and I - "

"You didn't give me your real opinion."

She narrowed her eyes. "Yes, I did."

"No, you didn't. You said that _I_ should do what _I_ feel is right. You didn't tell me what _you_ think."

Quistis sighed. "It shouldn't matter what I think, Seifer. It's _your_ future."

Seifer set his jaw and narrowed his eyes. "Huh."

She shrugged. "My opinion is irrelevant."

He examined her, looking angry. "…That's a hell of a thing for you to say, Quistis."

She blinked, suddenly ashamed. She'd made it sound as if duty should come first…and at a time, she used to think so…but the statement wasn't what she meant at all. She simply didn't want Seifer throwing an opportunity of a lifetime away for…her. She didn't want him to give up that chance…so she felt as if her personal opinion shouldn't cloud the issue. She wanted him to make the decision on his own.

She felt as if she'd tried to sway enough decisions through her opinion. Squall was a prime example. Squall didn't give two shits about her opinion. At least, not at the time.

However, Seifer was the opposite. He was insulted that she wouldn't weigh in her judgment. She realized that after all he'd been through…after all he'd fought for…and now that they were finally together…she simply acted as if he should cast off their relationship for a promotion. It sounded as if she didn't really care what he chose to do.

It had been a long time since someone actually cared about what she had to say. She forgot that Seifer valued her opinion.

"Seifer…I didn't mean for it to come out that way. I simply meant that…I don't want to push you to do something you might not want to do…and when it comes down to a decision involving your life, it shouldn't matter what I have to say…"

He slowly leaned forward and looked her straight in the eye. "It matters to _me_."

She swallowed, feeling her chest tighten and flutter wildly. Nobody had ever said that to her before.

Coming from Seifer, she knew that even though he didn't outright say it…he had pretty much declared that she was a major part in his life. In his future.

She looked down and took his hand, licking her lips. "All right. Well…my own personal opinion, then?"

"Yep. Don't lie, either, or I'll be able to tell."

"I wouldn't lie, Seifer - "

"Then tell me."

"You won't be mad?"

"Out with it, Quis."

She sighed. "…You won't have to move to Galbadia?"

"I can stay in Balamb."

"And how many trips would you have to make?"

"Sounds minimal. Depends on how much training they need. Standard SeeD shit, probably. Not unlike any other mission length, either. Less than a month, tops."

"Hm."

There was a pause as Seifer watched her intently. Her bows were furrowed and she was staring down at his hand, thinking.

"If it means that I'd be away from Balamb for too long, I won't do it," he offered. "I could stay here and - "

"Seifer."

He glanced up at her.

Quistis gave him a stern look. "Don't be an idiot."

He blinked at her in surprise.

"This is perfect for you," she gave him a small grin. "I can't see anyone else doing this. Squall is the Commander of Balamb. You'd be the Commander of Galbadia. Do you understand how perfect this would be? Our nations would finally start reconciling and we could help bring order. SeeDs would no longer be deemed as mercenaries. And…" she squeezed his hand and gave him a smile, "You would love it. I know you would."

He let out a small breath he didn't know he was holding and grinned at her. "You think so?"

"I know so. I'm pretty sure you'd be bored otherwise."

He narrowed his eyes at her playfully. "You knew I wanted this."

"Of course I did! I saw it in your eyes the moment you told me."

"Then why didn't you say so earlier?"

"Because I wanted you to make the decision on your own. You shouldn't have to ask for my _permission_, Seifer," Quistis shrugged and looked down. "I don't want to be the type of girl that - "

"Whoa, wait a minute. Permission? I was just asking for your _opinion_," he replied indignantly, with a cocky smirk. "There's a difference."

She rolled her eyes and chuckled.

_Soft, caring Seifer only comes out for a minute before belligerent, abrasive Seifer takes over._

"I wouldn't be too worried about being stuck in Galbadia for months on end, either," Quistis added. "Even if that did happen, I'd still come and see you. I'm thinking about adjunct teaching over there again."

"Mmmm," he grinned and pulled her close to him. "Maybe I could sit in the back and observe - "

"No commanders allowed in my classroom," she smiled.

"I'd be your superior," he replied in a husky voice. "You'd have to do what I say."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. Maybe I'll be the one sending you to the disciplinary room this time."

She laughed and kissed him.

. . .

He'd made his decision, but hadn't yet told Martine or Caraway. Besides, it wouldn't be implemented for awhile. Things were just starting to settle down, and he wanted a long leave before doing anything SeeD-related again.

_Things are finally starting to turn around._

There was a loud crash and Seifer turned his attention towards Zell, who looked embarrassed about accidentally dropping a glass of red wine on the floor. Red splotches had splashed up and stained his date's yellow dress. She didn't seem to mind, though, and he apologetically kissed her before skipping off to get some towels.

_Way to go, Chicken-wuss._

Seifer rolled his eyes and sipped on his drink, wishing he wasn't stuck in a starched suit in a hot room full of retards. _I guess it can't get any worse,_ he thought. _I went up against a sorceress and lived. I came back to Garden and wasn't murdered in my sleep. I got the girl. I got promoted. All things considered…I guess attending a big SeeD gala isn't so bad._

The band started to play a new song. _Dance With the Balamb Fish._

Seifer groaned. _I was wrong._ _It's worse. It's fucking polka._

"Hello, Seifer."

Her soft voice used to have a soothing effect on him, but now it nearly did the opposite. Even though it was completely devoid of malevolence, he still tensed. However, the reaction wasn't as bad as it had used to be, and for the first time in months, he was able to calmly turn around to face her.

"Hello, Matron."

Matron smiled softly and folded her hands in front of her. "Are you enjoying yourself?"

He shrugged weakly and looked around. _Not really._

Her smile grew even wider. "I take it the streamers and glitter aren't exactly your forte?"

His furrowed brow had loosened at that. "Nah."

"I suggested that Cid at least provide some games or competition for everyone," she looked around. "Liven things up just a bit...a hotdog eating contest for Zell, for instance."

Seifer cracked the slightest grin. _I'd pay money to see that idiot choke and spew hotdogs._

"You look well," Matron said softly. "I can see that Quistis has really helped you."

Seifer slightly nodded and looked at the floor.

"I'm so happy for the both of you," she reached forward and put a hand on his arm. For the first time in a year, he didn't pull away. "You deserve the utmost happiness. It's been much too long since you were both separated."

He nodded slightly. "…Yeah."

Matron smiled softly at him and shook her head. "I know it sounds trite, but it seems as if it were only yesterday when you two were playing on the beach together…teasing each other…pushing each other down…I remember that, more often than not, whenever you were punished, she'd punish herself as well."

"_Matron?"_

"_Hmm?"_

"…_Will Seifer get a sugar cookie?"_

"_Quistis, you know very well that he won't. He was much too rough with Squall and Zell today. I had to bandage Zell's hand."_

"_Yeah, but…he only got in trouble because I told on him."_

"_Well, sweetie, he shouldn't have been playing that game…um…whatever it was called…"_

"_Bloody knuckle."_

"_Yes, honey. He shouldn't have been playing that. Someone could get really hurt."_

"_But…but…"_

_Matron glanced over at Quistis and cocked her head. "What's wrong?"_

_Quistis fidgeted. "It was really Zell's idea…"_

_Matron raised an eyebrow._

"_Seifer was just winning, that's all. Well…Zell was winning, but then Seifer wouldn't quit, and Zell didn't want to hit too hard, but Seifer wanted to win, so he kept hitting Zell. Squall lost. That's why Zell and Squall got all mad…"_

_Matron tried not to let out a chuckle. "So…in order to win the game you have to punch as hard as you can?"_

"_And not flinch."_

_She smiled. "I see. So, if Seifer was winning, why did you tell on him?"_

_Quistis looked at the floor. "Because he was hurting Zell and Squall."_

"_But isn't that the point of the game?"_

_Quistis toed at the tiles. "…Yeah."_

_Matron sighed. "All right. What do you think we should do, then?"_

"_Give him a sugar cookie?"_

"_What else?"_

"_Umm…" Quistis bit her lip. "Not give Zell and Squall sugar cookies?"_

"_They already got theirs, dear. So, how can we make it fair?"_

_Quistis looked up at Matron. "Apologize?"_

"_Who should apologize?"_

"_Me. Because I told on him."_

"_All right, Quistis. I'll leave it to you, then. Make sure you apologize to Seifer." Matron reached over and took a sugar cookie off of the cooling rack, handing it to Quistis. "Give him this as well."_

_Quistis shook her head. "He can have mine. I didn't eat it yet. That way it'll be fair."_

The furrow in Seifer's brow completely disappeared and his eyes softened. She'd knocked on his door that night, offering a sugar cookie and first-aid for his hand. He'd gobbled up the cookie and denied the bandages, of course.

"You should know, Seifer, if you don't already…that Quistis loves you very much. She always has. She simply has a very unique way of showing it…much like you do."

He finally lifted his gaze to look at her. She was giving him a soft smile; her eyes were also glossy, yet she appeared happy. The purple veins had completely disappeared from her face, the grey-red sheen over her irises were gone, and her pale skin was a healthy color, not a pallid shade. She was his mother again. He felt his chest tighten after she mentioned Quistis. The only response he could conjure was a meek nod.

She linked her fingers together and smiled. "Well…I believe I've said enough for one night. This is a celebration, after all."

Seifer swallowed. "Matron…"

There were so many things he'd wanted to say, but hardly knew the proper time and place to say them all. His words were stuck in his throat as he stood there, watching her gentle gaze, unsure if he was even ready to say them.

…_Thanks._

…_I'm sorry._

…_Are you well?_

…_I'll protect you._

…_I didn't mean…all those things…_

"It's all right, Seifer," she nodded in understanding. "Another time, perhaps." Her gaze shifted to the entrance and she nodded towards it. "Besides, I believe your date has arrived."

He turned and followed her gaze, and his jaw dropped slightly.

_Whoa…_

Quistis had entered the room in a black gown that sparkled from tiny sequins sewn all over the fabric. The gown was a halter top with a v-neck in the front. Her hair was down, but it wasn't pin-straight; instead, it had a few soft waves to it and she'd pinned one side back with a sparkling barrette. The ensemble, overall, was very simple and very subtle.

It made his imagination run wild.

Besides, he'd never seen her in a dress before – or at least, anything outside of a SeeD skirt – and damn, she looked fuckin' exquisite.

_Exquisite's a word, right?_

Sexy didn't seem to do her justice. She was so much more than that.

Selphie cooed and waved at Quistis from the bar, and Quistis turned and waved back.

Seifer's jaw dropped even further.

The back of the dress dipped all the way down to her waist. Her entire backside was exposed.

He immediately started to fidget with his gloves and straightened his jacket, casting a nervous glance at Matron. Getting horny in front of his mother seemed all sorts of wrong, and suddenly, the streamers and decorations were very interesting.

Xu crossed his path on the other side of the room and he glanced at her as she stopped to talk with some students. Her hair was slicked back and she wore a strapless red dress that stopped at the knees and seemed almost skin-tight.

_Wow. Thanks, Xu. You deserve some sort of award for being the cause of sudden and immediate erectile dysfunction -_

"Well, have fun, Seifer," Matron grinned at him. "I'll be seeing you around Garden, perhaps?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

She slowly stepped forward to hug him, and to his surprise, he allowed her to by leaning in and bending over so the petite woman could reach him. He hugged her back tentatively, his discomfort slowly melting away.

"Cid and I love you very much," she murmured. "Remember that."

He set his jaw and nodded.

After Matron slowly walked away to greet a few other students, Seifer's gaze trained on Quistis. She was slowly looking around and greeting friends, but she hadn't yet seen him. He started to approach her, and as he got closer, she finally glanced over and noticed him. A smile immediately spread across her face.

"Hi."

He simply looked her up and down.

Quistis bit her lip. "Well? What do you think?"

He gritted his teeth. "You sure you want to do this?"

She blinked. "Do what?"

"This ceremony thing. Because I want to take you back to my room. Now."

She smiled. "Yes, I want to do it. This dress was expensive. I want to stay in it for at least a few hours."

"Not a good idea. I might rip it off."

"Oh, you will not. You're the epitome of patience and control, right?"

He sighed and rolled his eyes. She stepped forward and took his hand, squeezing it, then stepped up on tiptoe to murmur, "You look so handsome."

"Hmph. Just think about what I look like with this shit _off_," he grinned down at her.

"Oh, come on," she smiled. "It can't be that uncomfortable."

"Pretty damn close."

"It's only for a little while. Besides," Quistis added with a mischievous grin, "How do you know it's not turning me on?"

Hyne. He fucking_ loved _his new red thong Quistis.

"Is it?"

"What do you think?"

He shrugged. "I still think being naked would do the trick."

She shook her head and chuckled softly.

He glanced around, slightly uncomfortable at some of the stares they were receiving, but leaned in towards her anyway, putting a gloved hand on the small of her back. "Well, you look…just…you know…"

She raised an eyebrow at him.

He leaned in closer and murmured in her ear, "You're beautiful, Quis."

She closed her eyes and let her cheek touch his with affection. He let his lips brush the lobe of her ear and she leaned in, but then he pulled away.

She blinked.

He gave her a cocky smirk.

She swallowed and narrowed her eyes, ignoring her goosebumps. "You did that on purpose."

"I'm only trying to fight fair," he shrugged. "You're the one that's doing all the teasing."

She gripped his hand as they both walked around for a little bit, but Seifer wasn't sure what to really _do_ at these sorts of functions. Besides drink.

"Want some booze?"

Quistis smiled. "Yes. White wine, if they have some. Chardonnay. Although, if they have Pinot Grigio, I'll take that instead."

Seifer curled a lip. "Pino-what?"

"It's a type of wine - "

"How in the fuck am I supposed to know which one is which? It's _wine _and it's_ white_."

She shook her head. "Never mind, Seifer. Whatever you pick up, I'll drink it. Thanks."

He nodded in satisfaction and headed towards the bar. The bartender was already pouring out several glasses of different colored wines – thank Hyne the categories were labeled on small, separate tables – and placing the glasses to their corresponding spots.

Merlot. Cabernet Sauvignon. Pino Grigio. Chardonnay. Champagne. Water.

_Is there anything else here that isn't foo-foo?_

"Hey," Seifer motioned to the bartender. "Got any ale? Lager?"

"I've got pale ale from Dollet and amber ale from Galbadia."

"I'll take a Galbadian amber ale."

As he stood there waiting on his drinks, a familiar voice rung out behind him.

"I suppose it'd only be a matter of time before you became one of us."

Seifer turned around to face Squall. He narrowed his eyes and was about to retort a nasty comment about never being anything like him, but he realized that Squall was joking. He had a slight grin on his face and his eyes glinted with a tiny dare. Stepping forward, Squall held out his hand.

Seifer regarded him for a second with surprise, then grinned back, shaking Squall's hand.

"Yeah, well, _someone_ has to be there when you fuck up."

Squall's grin grew wider. "Whatever. This doesn't mean I'll go easy on you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?"

"Gunblade training. 1300 hours."

"I'll be there, bitch. Bring your hankie so you can use it to wipe up your tears later."

"Or _your_ blood."

"Shit. Wanna put a wager on that?"

"Damn straight I do."

"Fine. Loser buys upgrades."

"It's a deal."

They released their grip and Seifer pointed at him as he started to walk away. "Don't punk out tomorrow. Dr. Kadowaki won't be there to save your busted ass next time."

"Up yours, Almasy."

The rhetoric was the same, but the attitudes this time were different. They were both smiling maliciously at each other, glad to finally have the old sibling rivalry back and glad to have a sparring partner. They were the same. Brothers.

Seifer chuckled and continued walking when Squall called out to him.

"Hey, Seifer!"

Seifer stopped and turned his head. "What?"

Squall crossed his arms and smirked. "So, are you ever going to tell me about your _romantic_ dream?"

Seifer blinked, then gave him a mischievous grin. He glanced towards Quistis, who was across the room, and started to walk towards her, calling over his shoulder.

"Figure it out for yourself, Pubey."

Squall followed Seifer's gaze, which was trained on Quistis, and grinned. He turned to get some champagne.

Quistis was standing off in the distance, shaking her head with her arms crossed. Although she pretended to look annoyed, she was smiling.

"What was that all about?"

"Squall's agreed to buy me some new upgrades, that's all."

As soon as a slower song started to play, Quistis slipped her hand into Seifer's and pulled him towards the dance floor slowly. She turned around to face him and began walking backwards.

Seifer immediately grew rigid. "No. Not a good idea."

"Come on, Seifer."

"I don't dance, Quis."

Quistis walked up to him and raised up on her toes, bringing her cheek to his and whispered in his ear, "Just stay close to me. Imagine it as what we were doing earlier; only with clothes on."

He turned his face into her neck and uttered a quiet groan. Hyne, he loved his red thong Quistis.

"I've got a better idea. Let's do _that_ with our clothes _off_ somewhere in _private_."

"Just one dance, Seifer. It's easy."

"I don't think you understood me," he murmured in a stricter tone, "I _know_ how to dance. I just _don't_."

She blinked up at him and smiled. "You know how to dance?"

He gave her a smug grin. "I know how to do the horizontal mamba."

She smiled wider. "Seifer…"

"Yeah, I know how to dance," he rolled his eyes. "I'm not stupid."

"Well, then, come on! Just one."

Seifer glanced around uncomfortably and he set his jaw. Although the heavy air had lifted in Garden – he'd been promoted, he'd gained his recognition, and he'd received his medals – there was still an uneasiness about it all that he hadn't yet been able to shrug off. The news that he was a war hero instead of a traitor was shocking enough. The whispers fluttering around about his involvement with Instructor Trepe, however, simply added fuel to the fire. Even though he was used to being the center of attention, for once he simply wanted to be left alone. And, now that he finally had Quistis to spend his time with, he didn't want their happiness to be the constant subject of petty Garden gossip.

That, and he wasn't a fairy. Seifer Almasy didn't fucking dance.

Quistis stopped and watched him. She knew that expression. She squeezed his hand and stepped forward – and her eyes darted to the two familiar figures near the ballroom entrance. Raijin was busy trying every single hors d'oeuvres being offered up on a tray while Fujin shook her head at him, looking annoyed.

Then she had an idea.

"Seifer…I'm sorry. If you're not comfortable with this, we can leave. I think I know a place we can go where we can be alone."

Seifer looked down at her and raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"Just come with me."

"You're up to something."

"No, I'm not. Really."

"What's the catch?"

"Why does everything have to have a catch?"

"It just does."

"You owe me a dance."

"Shit, I knew it."

"Just…trust me. Come on."

She led the way towards the ballroom entrance and they both stopped in front of Fujin and Raijin. Fujin, who had noticed the pair first, elbowed Raijin, who was still stuffing his mouth full of food.

"FUN?" Fujin grinned up at Seifer, knowing full well he hated these kind of parties.

Seifer snorted. "Oodles."

"Um…could you guys do me a favor?" Quistis gave them a friendly smile.

Raijin and Fujin looked at each other, then Raijin swallowed the rest of his food.

"Yeah, sure, we guess so. Whaddya need?" he rubbed the back of his head. "For a moment there, I thought we were in trouble, ya know?"

Quistis chuckled and shook her head. "I don't have the power to punish you anymore, Raijin. You're no longer my subordinates."

"Yeah, at least until you do something stupid like letting loose a baby T-Rexaur," Seifer chuckled.

"Aw, c'mon Seifer, it was just the _one time_, ya know?"

"ERRAND?" Fujin asked Quistis.

Quistis nodded. "Could you…clear out the secret area for me?"

Seifer glanced at her with a skeptical brow raised.

Fujin and Raijin looked at each other again, this time exchanging mischievous smiles.

"Hell yeah, we can," Raijin stuck his chest out. "We're still head of the disciplinary committee, ya know? There's bound to be a few students up there violating curfew, ya know?"

Fujin nodded and they both exited the ballroom, trotting towards the training center. Seifer and Quistis trailed after them slowly, walking into the quad alone.

"The secret area?" Seifer rolled his eyes. "Are you kidding? We're not really going there, are we?"

"Why? Does it make you uncomfortable?"

"Well…no, but that's where all the junior classmen go to play tonsil hockey."

Quistis glanced up at him and grinned. "Oh yeah? How many times have you been up there?"

"Loads. I was on the disciplinary committee last year and we busted all sorts of horny brats for breaking curfew."

"I meant with another girl."

"Nice try, but I'm not taking _that_ bait."

"I'm just curious."

"Look, if I wanted to suck face, I'd do it somewhere else. I wouldn't be caught dead doing it in the secret area, though. I think we're a little too old for that shit, Quis."

Quistis smiled. "That's why I asked Fujin and Raijin to clear it out. And I don't want to go there for a makeout session, Seifer."

He blinked at her incredulously. "Then _why_ are we going there? We should be going straight to your room!"

She let out a disgruntled sigh. "Does everything with you have to be physical?"

Seifer rolled his eyes. "Gee, let me think about that for a minute YES."

She shook her head and hid a tiny smile. Seifer put a hand at her waist and stopped her, turning her to face him and bent forward to brush his lips against her cheek. With a mischievous grin, he pressed himself into her and grunted.

"Don't you like it when I get physical?"

Quistis smiled and turned her head to avoid being distracted by a kiss. "Come on. We're nearly there."

Seifer released her and sighed in growing frustration. "What, are we supposed to have some sort of bonding session up there where we talk about feelings?"

It was Quistis's turn to roll her eyes. "No. I think we've had enough of that for awhile."

Seifer nodded silently in agreement. _Yep. Sure did._

They continued to walk across the quad until they got to the training area entrance, already passing by a few disappointed students that had filtered out. Almost as if on cue, Fujin and Raijin emerged from the large corridor looking triumphant.

"EMPTY," Fujin said.

"Yeah, we cleared it out for ya, ya know?" Raijin crossed his arms. "You don't have to worry about anyone buggin' ya, either, because we'll stand guard, ya know?"

"Thanks, but I seriously doubt you two will have to stay - " Quistis started.

"Yeah, keep watch," Seifer cut in. "The last thing we need is some idiot barging in on our _moment_," he grinned at Quistis mockingly.

She rolled her eyes and turned to Fujin and Raijin. "I really appreciate it, you two," she smiled at them. "Thank you. We won't be long, we promise."

Raijin snickered. "Oh…in and out, eh? That quick, ya know?"

Seifer shot him a dark glare. "We're not doing _that_," he snapped quickly. "If that were the case, it'd take _hours_."

With a groan of disgust, Quistis turned to walk inside the complex, grumbling something about immature adolescent boys.

"PROTEIN?" Fujin joked with a grin. "OYSTERS? WATER?"

Seifer laughed and turned around to follow Quistis, flashing his middle finger towards them. Fujin chuckled.

"Don't let any baby Rexaurs out, Rai!"

"It was just the _one time_, ya know?"

**. . .**

_"So let me come to you, close as I wanna be  
__Close enough for me to feel your heart beating fast  
__And stay there as I whisper how I loved your peaceful eyes on me  
__Did you ever know that I had mine on you?"_

Over the soft hum of the maintenance fans, the faint song echoed out of the ballroom into the open quad and bounced off the walls, echoing and floating above the spread of artificial forests of the training center to the hidden balcony outside. Quistis slowly stepped into Seifer and placed her hand into his, holding him close and resting her cheek against the lapel of his uniform jacket. He gently lowered his head closer to hers and put a hand at the small of her back as they slowly began to dance together.

After only a few minutes, however, Quistis lifted her head and glanced at his gloved hand. Still dancing with her, he watched as she wordlessly pulled the white glove off, slowly and delicately. She let the glove float to the metal floor and spread her fingers into his palm, gently and deliberately, as if being able to touch his skin with hers for the first time. She turned and moved his wrist from her back and with her other hand, repeating the same action, removed the white glove slowly.

His fingers still played with hers as she gently caressed his palm with one hand, and he slowly moved his other hand to her bare back, lightly tracing his fingers over her skin, giving her goosebumps.

Hyne, he had no idea how something so stupid and simple could be so fucking sexy, but she did it. It was like she'd turned something so innocent into something so scandalous by setting his bare hands free from their stifling cotton prisons to roam about her soft, milky, fragrant skin.

Okay, so maybe this wasn't such a bad idea after all.

He lowered his head down to her cheek and kissed her ear, sighing.

"I know you just wanted one dance, but if we stay here, I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to control myself."

She smiled and slowly brought her arms up and wrapped them around his neck. She kissed his cheek and sighed against his neck.

He placed both of his hands on her bare back and pressed her into him, hugging her tightly. He looked down and closed his eyes as he smelled her hair, and his thumbs caressed her skin.

_I love you, Quistis._

He wanted to say it, but didn't know how.

_I've loved you for so long._

Surely she knew that.

He was afraid to utter the fragile words out loud, afraid that they'd shatter upon impact and they'd somehow lose their value once he let them loose. It was like every single married couple, or every single cliché relationship he'd ever seen…people said those words daily but they were spoken so often and so routinely that they eventually lost their meaning and rang hollow.

He never wanted his words to ring hollow. Not ever. And he didn't want this feeling…this exact feeling, the way he felt about her, the way he touched her, the way he held her, the way he'd kill for her, the way he'd die for her…to ever ebb away or disappear.

But he wanted her to know.

"Quistis…" he murmured.

"Mm?" she raised her head up and brushed her cheek against his.

_Hyne._ It was hard to focus when his two brains were competing for two different things. _Down, boy._

"I just…" he licked his lips and tried to conjure the words, "I wanted you to know…"

She waited patiently.

"Well…it's just that…" he turned his head into her cheek and closed his eyes.

_We're finally happy and I don't want to end it so soon._

He sighed. "For the longest time…I…"

"I know," she whispered, interrupting him. She faced him and brushed her lips against his. "You don't have to say anything, because I already know."

He stopped dancing and looked at her then, feeling a swell of relief mixed with a new swell of appreciation for her. She looked back up at him with her glossy, blue eyes, but she was happy. And by looking at her, he knew how she felt as well.

He kissed her then, deep and slow, caressing her bare back with one hand and cupping her jaw with the other. She stood on tiptoe and kissed him back, running her hand through the hair on the back of his head and squeezing his arm with the other.

The song was ending and they had stopped dancing. She looked up at him and he rubbed his nose against hers, brushing his lips against hers.

"What do you say, Quis? Should we turn in for the night?"

She smiled and nodded. "Thank you for the dance."

He grinned and clutched her closer. "Oh, I'm not done dancing with you yet."

**_The End_**

* * *

**_Author's Note: _**I know "Eyes On Me" is Julia's song for Laguna, but it never seemed to match the Squall-Rinoa romance in the game. I think it's more appropriate for Seifer and Quistis's story, especially for this fic, if you use your imagination. I just wanted to use the theme song somewhere :)


	18. Epilogue

**_"Don't lose sight, don't deny  
_****_  
We're leaves meant to fall_**

**_There's a meaning to all our_**

**_Seeds of eulogy to sow along with dreams_**

**_Fill the need that can leave us grieving alone_**

**_A symphony resounding in our minds_**

**_Guides us through what we knew would come all along..."_**

_"Tides of Time"_ by Epica

* * *

_**Epilogue**_

_Here Lies:_

_Raine Loire_

_Beloved mother and wife_

Laguna stared at the words _mother_ and _wife_. He'd been a lousy husband. He was an even lousier father. There wasn't even a wedding. He gave Raine a ring and promised they'd have a real wedding once he got the money. And then Ellone went missing, and he had to leave before Raine could ever tell him the news that she was pregnant.

And then she died.

_Mother and wife._

She didn't really get to be either. Laguna chuckled bitterly. Whoever carved the tombstone was incredibly gracious; even the surname _Loire_ was there instead of her maiden name. Although nobody had ever outright said anything, he knew that the busybody residents of Winhill never forgave him for Raine's death. They'd all gossiped about how terrible a man he was for leaving her pregnant and alone, and there were rumors that she'd had complications because of his disappearance. He closed his eyes and clenched his jaw.

_Raine. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I wish I could have been there._

He knelt down and brushed away a few loose twigs and weeds, then stood back up again. He glanced down at his ring finger and thought of the night he proposed to her.

Such a long time ago…

_Ellone's grown so beautiful, Raine. And she's doing fine. She's finally happy. I think she'll be safe now. After all these years, she'll finally be safe. I wish you could see Squall, too. He'd make you so proud. I…I wish I could have known earlier about him, then I'd…things would have been different. Would it surprise you that he travels a lot, like I used to? He's a soldier, too. Ward and Kiros say that he looks like me. I disagree, though. He's got your eyes, Raine. I can see how perfect and blue they are and I think of you every time I see him. He's so headstrong, like you. And quiet. I've never seen a kid so quiet._

Laguna smiled. _Not like me._

_Our children have grown up to be so beautiful and so happy, Raine. You would be so proud of both of them. Hyne, I miss you so much._

"Uncle Laguna!"

The sweet, singsong voice floated over the tall grass as the breeze softly blew warm air towards his direction, and he turned around and looked up.

Further up the hill was Ellone, smiling at him and waving. She still looked a little frail, and her skin still had a pale sheen, but she was recovering quickly. Ward and Kiros were in the distance, watching over her.

Laguna smiled and took a few steps forward. He was about to call out to her when a loud humming sound got closer and closer until a dark shadow engulfed the entire field around them. They all looked up.

Balamb Garden was hovering over them, slowing to a faraway spot in the field to dock. Laguna grinned and glanced at Ellone. She was looking up at Garden as well, pulling a piece of flyaway hair behind her ear. The sudden cool air without the sun made her shiver and she shifted up her green wrap around her arms as she watched the Garden float over them to dock. He continued to walk towards her and waited until the loud hum died down before he spoke. They both watched the Garden slowly sink down to the ground, and the gigantic golden rings at the base slowly rolled to a stop. Laguna glanced down at her.

"Elle...how are you feeling?"

Ellone smiled up at him and hugged him. "I'm fine. What about you?"

Laguna chuckled. "Me? What about me?"

She cocked her head at him and smiled sympathetically. "You look sad, Ungle Laguna."

Laguna rubbed the back of his neck. "Oh. I do?"

Her gaze darted towards Raine's headstone. "It's a beautiful day for her today."

Laguna turned his head and followed Ellone's gaze. "Yeah. It sure is."

"I miss her so much." Ellone sighed.

Laguna turned back towards Ellone and hugged her again. "Me too, sweetheart. Me too."

After a long pause, he straightened up and cleared his throat. "So, did you walk around town? Were you able to visit the flower shop?"

Ellone smiled and nodded. "Mm-hmm. Remember the old couple that used to run it?"

Laguna turned pink and shrugged. "Er…not really…but…"

"Well, their daughter runs it now. She has two small children with her…" Ellone trailed off and smiled. "Two orphans. They reminded me of…myself. They were so helpful; running around the shop trying to impress me. The little girl kept handing me daisies and would say, 'no charge!' It was the sweetest thing."

Laguna chuckled. "I remember when you used to hand me a pint of apple juice and say, 'drink up, sailor!' Except it sounded more like, 'dwink up, sailo!'"

Ellone laughed. "I don't even know where I learned that!"

"Thank goodness it was apple juice instead of something else."

"I think if Raine saw me get into the ale I'd get swatted in the rear."

"Come to think of it…I probably got a little tipsy off of the apple juice, didn't I?"

Ellone laughed again. "Uncle Laguna, I knew you were just kidding around with me."

"I wasn't faking it, Elle. I think you put something in it."

"Oh, stop."

"Maybe it was the sugar."

She smiled. "That was always so much fun. Whenever you dangled me upside down by my ankles, asking for loose change so you could buy more apple juice…"

"Raine _hated_ that."

Ellone giggled. "She was always stricter with you than she was with me!"

They both chuckled. After a long pause, Ellone added softly, "She really did love you, you know."

Laguna set his jaw.

Ellone looked at the ground as they walked. "She wanted to let you know that."

"Sometimes, I…" Laguna trailed off and licked his lips. "I don't deserve her love. I should have been there for her."

Ellone squeezed his hand. "Don't say that, Uncle Laguna! Don't blame yourself for what happened. It…it just couldn't be helped. There are a lot of things in life I don't understand, and I probably never will…but it simply won't do to dwell on them."

Laguna sighed. "I guess you're right, Elle. As always."

"Besides…" Ellone trailed off and glanced up at Garden. "Raine gave us something beautiful before she left. It's as if she's still watching over us. Protecting us."

Laguna followed her gaze and looked up at the enormous complex that towered over them as they drew closer.

_Squall._

He felt tears prick at his eyes and he smiled. "She sure did, didn't she?"

There was another long pause as they walked slowly towards Balamb Garden. Laguna cleared his throat and changed the subject. "Well…are you ready to pay Squall a visit?"

Ellone smiled. "Yes, of course. I'm so glad they were able to stop out here. I haven't seen them since Esthar."

"Their Garden party should be a lot of fun, but I don't want you to overexert yourself, Elle," Laguna patted her hand as he let her take his elbow and they started to walk towards the Garden.

Ellone chuckled. "Uncle Laguna, this is _their_ party. Not mine. I won't do any heavy dancing or drinking, trust me."

"It's just that you've been through so much…I can't help but worry…" he began.

She squeezed his arm. "Don't worry about me," she assured him. "Everything is going to be fine. We have Squall and his SeeDs now. Besides, the worst is over."

Laguna smiled. "Yeah."

There was a long pause. Kiros and Ward were following them distantly, acting as both Laguna's and Ellone's bodyguards.

"That brings me to my next point, Elle," Laguna broke the silence with a nervous voice. "I…I want you to stay in Balamb Garden for a while."

Ellone looked up at him, surprised, but didn't reply.

"I think it's for the best," Laguna continued, staring ahead at the horizon. "You'll be close to Squall…and Cid and Edea…all the other children from the orphanage…"

"But…" Ellone looked slightly hurt. "I haven't seen you in so long!"

"I'll stay in Garden for the rest of the week," Laguna added quickly. "I'm taking some time off from Esthar so I can spend time with you. But there are lots of reasons I don't want you to return to Esthar quite yet, Elle. For one, I don't trust Odine, and I don't want him anywhere around you. For two, we've still got our hands full cleaning up the mess left behind from the Lunar Cry, and you won't have anything to do if I'm busy in the office all day. If you stay here, at least you'll get to be with all your old friends. I know you'll be safe with them. I know you'll have a great time catching up with all of them."

Ellone remained silent.

"Besides," Laguna added with a sad smile, "I thought you were sick of Esthar. You were up at the Lunar Base for so long…I figured you didn't want to have anything to do with Esthar after all you've been through."

"Of course not," Ellone shook her head. "As long as you're around, Uncle Laguna, I don't mind. I just wish I could see you more often, that's all."

"Oh, Elle, I promise to make up for it," Laguna replied in an apologetic tone. "There's so much I have to make up for…especially for you and Squall…I haven't done nearly as much as I should have…"

"Don't say that," she cut in. "You've done so much for me already, Uncle Laguna. I just wish…you just need some time off, that's all." She smiled playfully at him. "When's the last time _you_ got a little rest and relaxation, mister president?"

He chuckled. "A long time. I hope I don't say anything stupid tonight. I'm a cheap drunk nowadays."

"I want to hear about your travels," Ellone grinned. "I'll get Kiros or Ward to loosen you up and then you'll be up all night talking."

Laguna chuckled. "Well, for you, Elle, I would. I'll tell you anything you want to hear."

She sighed and gave his arm a squeeze as they walked towards the entrance of Balamb Garden. "I'm so glad it's finally over. It feels so good to finally be with you, Uncle Laguna."

He kissed her forehead and squeezed her hand, holding back tears. "Sweet, sweet Elle…I'm glad too, honey. Together at last." He stopped walking and faced her. "Er…before we go any further, could I make a request?"

She cocked her head. "Hmm?"

"It's a lot to ask, and if you don't want to, I'd understand…you are, of course, not obligated to say yes or anything…"

"What is it?"

Laguna sighed nervously and pursed his lips. "Could you…do you think…you could call me 'dad?' You are, after all, like a daughter to me."

Ellone's lip quivered and tears immediately sprung to her eyes. She leapt towards him and wrapped her arms around his neck, sobbing silently. He hugged her back tightly. As she cried, he continued to hold her and rock her softly.

"I love you, daddy," she warbled softly into his chest.

He squeezed his eyes shut and hugged her tighter, letting out a breath. "I love you too. Oh…my baby, baby girl."

* * *

**_Author's Note: _**I intended for the "garden party" Laguna mentions to be the "camcorder party" at the end of the game.


End file.
